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The Rangers Reload for 2013

Heating Up the Hardwood: Our Annual NBA Cheerleader Preview Scan to join the

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Girl Next Door Amber LaFrance Gives You The Best Places in DFW + Time to Evolve!

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APRIL 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

APRIL 2013

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APRIL 2013

On Deck

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

jerry jones: a lifetime contract

By Keysha Hogan - @TheKeysha

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Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief Jus Chris Patterson Creative Director Michael H. Lee Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Photography Darryl Briggs Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Chuck Majors

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Staff Writers Geoff Case, Steven Doyle, Peter Gerstenzang, David Goodspeed, Ethan Harmon, Frank LaCosta, Amber LaFrance, Mark Miller, Posie Pockets Contributing Photographers: David Alvarez, Brian Babineau, Jon Belaski, Nathan Bolster, Michael Cairns, Nick Dawes, Steven Doyle, Garrett W. Ellwood, Gary B. Garman, Greg Holman, Glenn James, Ryan Lejbak,Grierson Photography and Mjpeacecorps Contributing Writers: Arthur Bellfield, Jay Betsill, Brian Beard, Gary Dowell, Vivian Fullerlove, Andrew J. Hewett, Greg Holman, Jan Hubbard, Karina Manlove, Zach Walker,

ecently Jerry Jones sat in his new $2 million team bus at the Indianapolis combine and said, “I pretty much go with what I did the night I bought the team. I said I was going to be the GM…It would be a facade if someone else was sitting in my shoes and someone thought they were spending the money. It would be deception…I would grant you the decisions that have been made over the years have not produced a Super Bowl, two Super Bowls or three Super Bowls that I would like to have been a part of. And the only thing I am going to do there is keep trying and then make sure I get the credit when we do get that one.

Y’all are going to give it to me aren’t you?”

Well are you? Will you hail Jones as the misunderstood conquering hero when he ushers in a new era of Super Bowl wins to DFW? Or are you simply skeptical and browbeaten on his ability to deliver anything other than a highly publicized painful season.

One thing we can agree on is that Jones is an aggressive marketing genius that has built a powerful brand, an unparalleled stadium and a net worth over $2 billion. Each year while other teams practice at Jerry Jones is timeless like Andy Warhol home, Jones takes the show on the road to San Antonio and Oxnard, But while he may love to win in the boardroom, California to spread the Cowboys’ gospel. There are we sure he still knows how to win on the is no doubt that he has perfected the art of field? Let’s just face the facts, Jerry Jones has a cultivating a fan base and ensuring there will be lifetime contract. With that kind of job security butts in the seats. is there any incentive to seek out new ideas or innovate beyond the old tired techniques?

The players from the ‘07-’09 drafts should have matured into their positions with an eye CONTACT US on making tangible contributions. Unfortunately Phone: 214-529-7370 • FAX: 972-960-8618 Email: info@blitzweekly.com they aren’t. Some were injured, some couldn’t cut it and this ultimately falls upon the team’s BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com GM who is responsible for putting the team Copyright 2013 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in together. whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to From ‘91-96, one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without the team sent 10 prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the different offensive opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus and defensive postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com. linemen to a combined 21 Pro Bowl games. In the past twelve years,

222 offensive and defensive linemen have been picked up in the first two rounds of the draft.

In that time Jones has picked up only five, and three of them were drafted during the days of Bill Parcells. And since being drafted in 2000, Andre Gurode is the only lineman to make a recent Pro Bowl for the Cowboys.

Now that we are well aware that Jones isn’t going to retire anytime soon, he is going to have to do better. For the 2013 season he must allow the scouts and coaches to do their jobs so they can select as many productive draft picks as possible. But at this point he is only concerned about who’ll end up with all the credit. But my question to Mr. Jones is, “If this season is like the past, who do we talk to about all the blame?”

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Diamond in the green on screen By jay betsill - @thefamousjay

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pringtime is here in North Texas and for sports fans that often brings up conversations about major league baseball’s opening day and professional golf’s first major championship, the Masters.

Will the Texas Rangers be able to overcome the significant losses of Josh Hamilton, Mike Napoli, Michael Young and Mike Adams? Is the drama in the team’s front office concerning Jon Daniels and Nolan Ryan going to affect the onfield product? Will Tiger Woods finally win his 15th major – he has not made up any ground on the record 18 won by Jack Nicklaus since his dramatic U.S. Open win at Torrey Pines five years ago – or will Rory McIlroy be able to turn things around and win his second consecutive major title following his PGA Championship victory by eight strokes last August at Kiawah Island, South Carolina.

There probably are no two sports that better serve as metaphors for life than baseball and golf. Both sports have a way of showing a person’s true character be it in victory or defeat.

Perhaps that is why they both translate so well to the silver screen and why sports and movie lovers alike are so passionate about their favorite films on each particular subject. That being said, here is the official list (approved by yours truly) of the best baseball and golf movies EVER: (NOTE: There are more baseball movies to choose from, therefore it got a longer list)

BASEBALL Honorable mention -- The Sandlot (1993), Bang the Drum Slowly (1974) and Pride of the Yankees (1942).

10) THE ROOKIE (2002) starring Dennis Quaid, Rachel Griffiths and Brian Cox. Texas baseball coach Jim Morris makes the major leagues with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays after agreeing to try out if his high school team made the playoffs.

9) FOR LOVE OF THE GAME (1999) starring Kevin Costner, Kelly Preston and John C. Reilly.

The film follows the perfect-game performance of aging star Detroit Tigers pitcher Billy Chapel as he reminisces about his career and his relationship with his on-and-off girlfriend, while pitching his final game at Yankees Stadium.

An average baseball player comes out of seemingly nowhere to become a legendary player with almost divine talent.

8) THE BAD NEWS BEARS (1976) starring Walter Matthau, Tatum O’Neal and Vic Morrow.

Aging, down-on-his-luck ex-minor leaguer Morris Buttermaker coaches a team of misfits in an ultracompetitive California little league.

7) EIGHT MEN OUT (1988) starring John Cusack, Charlie Sheen, D.B. Sweeney and David Strathairn.

A dramatization of the Black Sox scandal when the underpaid Chicago White Sox accepted bribes to deliberately lose the 1919 World Series.

6) MONEYBALL (2011) starring Brad Pitt, Robin Wright and Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane’s successful attempt to assemble a baseball team on a lean budget by employing computergenerated analysis to acquire new players.

5) MAJOR LEAGUE (1989) starring Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Corbin Bernsen and Wesley Snipes.

The new owner of the Cleveland Indians puts together a purposely horrible team so they’ll lose and she can move the team to Miami. But when the plot is uncovered, they start winning just to spite her.

4) THE NATURAL (1984) starring Robert Redford, Glenn Close, Robert Duvall and Kim Basinger.

3) A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN (1992) starring Tom Hanks, Geena Davis, Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna.

Two sisters join the first female professional baseball league and struggle to help it succeed amidst their own growing rivalry.

2) BULL DURHAM (1988) starring Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.

A fan who has an affair with one minor-league baseball player each season meets an up-andcoming pitcher and the experienced catcher assigned to him.

1) FIELD OF DREAMS (1989) starring Kevin Costner, Amy Madigan, James Earl Jones and Ray Liotta.

An Iowa corn farmer, hearing voices, interprets them as a command to build a baseball diamond in his fields; he does, and the Chicago Black Sox come to play.

GOLF Honorable mention – Bobby Jones: A Stroke of Genius (2004), Seven Days in Utopia (2011) and The Greatest Game Ever Played (2005) 5) FOLLOW THE SUN (1951) starring Glenn Ford and Anne Baxter.

The inspiring film biography of the courageous champion golfer Ben Hogan’s recovery from a near-fatal car crash, culminating in his Los Angeles Open playoff battle with Sam Snead.

4) HAPPY GILMORE (1996) starring Adam Sandler, Carl Weathers and Christopher McDonald.

Rejected hockey player Happy Gilmore puts his newly discovered golf skills to work on the pro tour to save his grandmother’s house.

3) DEAD SOLID PERFECT (1988) starring Randy Quaid, Kathryn Harrold and Jack Warden.

Made-for-HBO version of the classic Dan Jenkins novel about pro golfer Kenny Lee’s adventures on the PGA Tour includes many scenes shot on location in Fort Worth including Colonial Country Club’s golf course and Joe T. Garcia’s restaurant.

2) TIN CUP (1996) starring Kevin Costner, Rene Russo, Cheech Marin and Don Johnson.

Washed up driving range golf pro Roy McAvoy tries to qualify for the U.S. Open in order to win the heart of his PGA Tour rival’s psychiatrist girlfriend.

1) CADDYSHACK (1980) starring Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Michael O’Keefe and Bill Murray.

The exclusive Bushwood Country Club has to deal with a brash prospective member, a slobby crew of caddies and a destructive dancing gopher.

With all of the movies made about these two warm weather sports, there are bound to be a few that don’t make the cut. Then there are the movies that are downright horrific and deserved to be singled out for their ineptitude.

WORST BASEBALL MOVIE: Of course, there are multiple films that could fit here, but in baseball tradition, we’ll say the tie goes to the runner and give this honor to the 1992 film “The Babe” starring John Goodman, barely edging out 1996’s “Ed,” 2001’s “Summer Catch” and 1998’s “Major League: Back to the Minors.”

WORST GOLF MOVIE: If there was ever a shoe-in for any award, this one is a no-brainer as “Caddyshack II” starring Jackie Mason, Robert Stack and Jonathan Silverman is not only the worst golf movie ever made, but one of the worst movies ever made, period. Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd also are a part of this mess and one can only assume it was to cash a check.

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APRIL 2013

take the trip...

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

By zach walker – @zachwalkerdb7

The idea of a bucket list is an enticing sparkle of an idea inside the minds of people who either haven’t had the opportunity or were waiting to do it up right, no hold-backs, spare no expense.

Most sports fans have a general idea of what they want to do: go to a Super Bowl, be part of your team’s victory parade and collect a little confetti, attend a playoff game 7 (any sport), visit all of the National Football League stadiums.

But one that isn’t on the top of everyone’s list is to attend the NFL Draft. And for Cowboys’ fans, to travel and represent the silver and blue in hostile territory might not be for everyone, but you do get a hell of a lot of enjoyment out of it.

This year will be my fourth straight trip to New York City’s Radio City Music Hall to yell at Philly fans, stand in line (a lot), and spread Cowboys fandom to those less fortunate who cheer for inferior clubs. A year ago, I packed for six days and went equipped with all of my draft garb, draft magazines, printed big-boards, an assortment of highlighters and sharpies, and my secret weapon (not an actual weapon). A tip for first-timers, do not put a Cowboys luggage tag on your checked bag, because they (baggage people at LaGuardia) thought it was funny to hold hostage my bag in a baggage office while I bit my nails at the baggage carrousel, wondering if I just missed my bag or if I had to go almost a week taking showers with my clothes on.

Being from Texas, where it seems every other vehicle is a truck and having never used public transportation for more than going to the convention center, New York’s subway system was something to gawk over. And in going three times already, I’ve seen probably six pickup trucks and several different types of police cars, including a Prius, which I don’t think people around DFW would drive. But the city is great; it is a marvel to behold. The sights are all right, nothing I haven’t already seen in a movie or television show. And I’m not a cultured person, so New York’s many probably fabulous museums and galleries aren’t my bag. I’m there for sports.

No. 1 tip: make sure you have some shoes that you’ll be comfortable standing in place for about seven hours a day because you’re gonna stand in line a lot. But that, surprisingly, is where you’ll

find the most fun. It’s just me and true fans from every club standing in a line, talking about each other’s team, what I want, what I think their team should get, and everyone collectively booing passing

by New England or Philadelphia Who will the Cowboys pick this year? mjpeacecorps fans. It’s in range that I simply wrote him off, it was Morris line where I Claiborne. realize that I’m a part of a group of people who After snagging Brandon Carr in free agency, take fandom to a whole other level. And that’s then picking Claiborne, I figured all opposing when I pull out my secret weapon, a huge foam quarterbacks might as well call ahead of the cowboy hat with Cowboys written down each games and give all their plays away, because I side, and if that doesn’t piss people off, I don’t imagined a season where every pass that was know what will. Once the line starts moving and thrown at either of those two would just get I get nearer the door, butterflies race in my gut picked off. I knew then that wouldn’t happen, but like a go-kart motor as I’m handed my seat ticket that’s what the draft is about. Before any of the and prompted inside. players selected play a single down, you get to Radio City Music Hall is beautiful, a special imagine them having great seasons and lifting place, a place where players dreams are your team to the next level. And that’s why I love realized, where it’s announced that they’ll have the Draft, because everybody gets to envision an opportunity to play the game they love for their teams triumphing over hated rivals and a living. So about an hour after I’m through the catching game-winning passes because of these doors, I take my seat alongside my brother and young players. my friend and the Draft gets underway.

I’m not one for orange slices and a “good job, My friend’s Minnesota Vikings draft Matt Kalil, buck-a-roo” with a pat on the back but I love that and he’s absolutely ecstatic, then at the sixth every team gets better. I love that anytime the pick, something no one saw coming happened.

Cowboys are on the clock I suddenly become Dallas traded up. I hear over the announcement the target of everyone’s animosity and am that St. Louis trades its pick and that Dallas is on subject to rude gestures and excessive booing. the clock. Actually I heard D-and a faint al, and I love that no matter the expert or specialist, I absolutely jumped 10 feet out of my chair as if everyone is wrong about mock drafts. The great I got two simultaneous scorpion stings and was struck by lightning all at the same time. Team that moments are when teams trade, it’s rowdy for moments, then the trade terms are announced with the roar of a lion, and you just have what followed by rolling, volatile opinions. happened physically.

The NFL Draft is a great place to be and In my head, I was I’m glad that it’s free, all that’s needed is time rattling off who the spent standing. I don’t like how the National Cowboys would Basketball Association tries to sort-of copy how trade up to get. the NFL does its draft. Everyone knows that NBA Mark Barron? Luke fans don’t like teams, they like star players who Kuechly? Haters play ball with a bunch of other similar guys. Not surrounding the the NFL, it’s about the team. Except for fantasy war zone that football, that’s about players. was mine and my This year I’ll be 21 and that might provide some brother’s seats kept previously unforeseen twists in my journey, but suggesting that it I trust my tagging compatriots won’t have me was going to be doing anything that could otherwise jeopardize Ryan Tannehill. a return visit to Radio City. If you’re on the fence The bitterness of about going, just go. You’ll find out if you’d want those comments to go again really quickly. You seriously won’t spun in my head, a regret going. And they have White Castle in quarterback? Nah. New York, so that’s pretty cool.

It was a player I figured was so out of the Cowboys Ryan Lejbak

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VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

missing a piece to their postseason puzzle?

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By JAN hubbard - comments@blitzweekly.com

efore the Mavericks won the NBA title in 2011, it was popular in the Dallas area – particularly in the media – to say something profound like: “If you give me a choice between the Mavericks’ roster and Oklahoma City’s, I’ll take the Thunder.”

I always had the opposite view. First of all, to get players like Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and James Harden in the draft, you have to have a lousy team. Those players went with the second, fourth and third picks in their respective drafts. They were the result of three years when the Thunder franchise averaged 24.7 wins.

Think of how disappointing this year has been for Dallas. The Mavericks would have to be worse than they are right now for three years to have a chance to pick that high in the draft.

No thanks, I said, because I thought the Mavericks had a chance to win a championship. By the time the OKC trio was together, that opinion was not a majority one, but in 2011, it was the young Thunder the Mavericks beat to advance to the Finals, where they defeated the Heat to win the title.

Right now, of course, almost everyone – including the Mavericks – would much Will the Thunder miss Harden after all?

D. Briggs rather have the Thunder roster. But here’s the deal. I still don’t see OKC winning a title and if that’s the goal – which it Iverson’s 76ers – one trip to the Finals and obviously is – then I’d still take the current never again. The Orlando Magic have come flawed group of Mavericks for one reason: close in two eras – 1995 with Shaq and 2009 They already have their title. with Dwight Howard. Each time they lost and I bring this up because this is going to be never got a chance to be in the Finals again an interesting playoff season for OKC. Since with the same team. arriving from Seattle in 2008, the Thunder has Seattle in 1996, the Knicks in 1994, the Suns steadily grown – 23 victories the first year, 50 in 1993. All got there once and did not return. victories and a first round playoff loss the next, Durant and Westbrook give the Thunder the 55 victories and the loss to Dallas in the 2011 best pair of 25-and-under superstars in the Western Conference finals, and finally a trip to league. As Harden’s replacement, Kevin Martin the NBA Finals, where they lost to Miami last has scored well. His 14.5 points a game is season. down only slightly from Harden’s 16.8 last NBA history is replete with teams that made year. The Thunder have a great shot blocker the slow climb to a championship team – the and defensive player in Serge Ibaka, and Pistons of the ‘80s, Michael Jordan’s Bulls, the excellent role and bench players.

Rockets of the ‘90s, Kobe’s Lakers after Shaq But there are no guarantees. In the West, the left.

Spurs and Clippers have played elite basketball All suffered setbacks, but kept building and the entire season. Teams like Memphis and eventually won titles. The Thunder seemed to Denver may not have a lot of box office follow in that path. appeal, but they are first-rate teams capable But a desire to limit their luxury tax led the of advancing deep into the playoffs. And then Thunder to trade James Harden after last there are the Houston Rockets – a team led by season, and that could come back to bite them.

James Harden, who has no pressure to win but With the trio of Durant, Westbrook and everything to gain by upsetting the Thunder.

Harden, it was often suggested that the Talk about payback. question was not when they would get their first With the Heat playing superior basketball, NBA title, but how many championships they it may not matter who wins the West. If the would win.

Thunder do not, however, they will wonder History tells us that besides those teams that forever what might have happened if they’d just have built slowly and steadily towards a title, kept their team together. Titles are precious — there is also a significant list of teams that got and if you are a team unwilling to pay a luxury close and never won a championship. tax to win one, you may find out exactly how Think of Reggie Miller’s Pacers, who got to difficult it is to become a champion. the NBA Finals in 2000, lost to the Lakers and never returned. The next year, it was Allen

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VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

APRIL 2013

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ufc ON FOX

i siana e u L

in san jose preview

By brian beard – comments@blitzweekly.com Nate Diaz (16-8-0) vs. Josh “The Punk” Thomson (19-5-0) If you’re looking for fireworks, tune into this one!

Nate Diaz is guaranteed to talk a lot of shit both before and during the fight! Thomson isn’t one to sit back and take it either. Both of these guys are very good fighters with great ground games and great boxing. Diaz is the taller and I would say bigger fighter and has been doing great since dropping to 155. Thomson is quicker and more active. Look for Thomson to buzz around like a gnat and really push the pace. Diaz will be slower and will look to draw Thomson into a stand up exchange where he can use his range and boxing skills. Thomson will need to circle and work the angles from the outside. If it goes to the ground, look for Diaz to be very aggressive chasing submissions.

My prediction: Diaz will catch one and submit Thomson in the third round. Raw guy.

Frank Mir (16-6-0) vs. Daniel “DC” Cormier (11-0-0) This will be Cormier’s first fight in the UFC and he draws Frank Mir? Talk about bad luck… or is it? Mir is coming off of an almost one year layoff. He has brutal submissions (see his fights with Tim Sylvia and Nogueira) and has drastically improved his boxing, but will

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the time off be a hindrance or an advantage?

Cormier is an amazing wrestler with Olympic experience. Needless to say, this cat can flat out wrestle. The key for him will be to stay out of Mir’s submissions once he gets the takedown and he will get the takedown. I look for Mir to be the better striker but Cormier will close the difference and beat the brakes off of Mir. My prediction: Cormier will remain undefeated with a second round TKO.

TM

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My prediction: Bendo will win a unanimous decision in a very technical fight.

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VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

season of changes ahead for texas rangers By mark miller – mmiller@blitzweekly.com

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2013 rangers ROSTER

es, the manager and most of his coaching Adrian Beltre at third. The only change will be left-hander Martin Perez, who went 1-4, 5.45 in staff are the same and some key players Lance Berkman at designated hitter instead of 12 games last year.

LINEUP from three straight trips to the playoffs Young, whose infield versatility will be missed.

That means the starting rotation will be Ian Kinsler 2B return but the 2013 edition of the Texas Rangers But if healthy, the switch-hitting Berkman offers anchored by left-hander Matt Harrison, who is Elvis Andrus SS still will be vastly different. more options at the plate. coming off his career-best season with 18 wins Lance Berkman DH Outfielder Josh Hamilton now makes his home The outfield corners, David Murphy in left and a 3.29 earned run average. Right-hander Adrian Beltre 3B in Southern California. Infielder Michael Young and Nelson Cruz in right (assuming he’s not Yu Darvish finished 2012 strong for a 16-9 Nelson Cruz RF and relief pitcher Mike Adams are Philadelphia suspended), remain from last year. Murphy overall record and 3.90 ERA to earn the No. 2 David Murphy LF Phillies. Catcher Mike Napoli and relief pitcher played in a career-best 147 games and spot.

A.J. Pierzynski/ Koji Uehara are in Boston, and Scott Feldman is his statistics (.304 average, 15 HR, 61 RBI) Left-hander Derek Holland (12-7, 4.67) likely Geovany Soto C with the Chicago Cubs. followed accordingly. Cruz enjoyed his first will follow Darvish. Behind them will be Alexi Mitch Moreland 1B There’s a new hitting coach as Dave season without a trip to the disabled list, hitting Ogando, who returns to the rotation after being Leonys Martin/Craig Magadan replaces Scott used primarily in the seventh inning Gentry CF Coolbaugh. And there’s last year. Nick Tepesch will more even a new arch-rival than likely be named the fifth starter.

STARTING since the Houston Astros He certainly hasn’t blown anyone have left the National away with his stuff. He does possess ROTATION LHP Matt Harrison League to join the four quality pitches and he isn’t RHP Yu Darvish Rangers, Los Angeles afraid to use them.

LHP Derek Holland Angels of Anaheim, While the departures of Adams, RHP Alexi Ogando Oakland A’s and Seattle Uejara and Feldman guarantee LHP Nick Tepesch Mariners in the American three new faces in the bullpen, League West division. there actually will be another with This year’s edition of Ogando switching roles. Joe Nathan BULLPEN the Rangers is not just (3-5, 2.80, 37 saves in 40 attempts) RHP Joe Nathan (closer) about losing three key returns as closer but who comes LHP Nate Robertson batters and some major before him may be a committee LHP Michael Kirkman pieces of the bullpen. at first. Only two players with the RHP Tanner Scheppers It’s the leadership, drive Rangers at the close of 2012 – RHP Derek Lowe and fan popularity the right-hander Tanner Scheppers and LHP Robbie Ross departed leave behind left-hander Michael Kirkman – will RHP Josh Lindblom and that guarantees be among them. The rest will be this season will be one a combination of free agents and of change. Whether non-roster players that could include LF Darryl Briggs Will Yu Darvish have a sophomore slump in 2013?

David Murphy those differences make right-handers Josh Lindblom and a difference will not be known for six months. .260 with 24 HRs and 90 RBI in 159 games.

Derek Lowe and left-handers Nate Robinson and Leonys Martin Jeff Baker But they guarantee to keep things interesting The big change in the outfield will be the Joe Ortiz. at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington and points platoon of Leonys Martin and Craig Gentry Once Lewis, Feliz, Soria and Perez return, CF beyond. in center field to replace Hamilton. While they figure at least some of the healthy newcomers Here’s our look at what lies ahead for your can’t match Hamilton’s overall numbers, they will be gone and the Rangers will resemble Leonys Martin Craig Gentry 2013 Texas Rangers. can use their speed to try. their old selves a bit more.

After having virtually no bench in RF At the Plate 2012, there’s hope this season as Nelson Cruz When you lose players who Jeff Baker will supply a needed Leonys Martin combined for 75 home runs experienced right-handed bat. Plus Jeff Baker and 251 runs batted in as he can play most infield positions Hamilton, Napoli and and right and left fields. That’s 3B Young did in 2012, the kind of versatility the Rangers Adrian Beltre they can be have lacked in recent years.

Jeff Baker tough to replace.

The rest of the bench will While those consist of whoever isn’t SS taking their place starting between Martin Elvis Andrus may not match such and Gentry, which Leury Garcia numbers, they do bring a catcher isn’t playing different dimension. and either infielder Leury Instead of the crowd chanting NAGarcia or outfielders PO-LI, sounds of PIER-ZYN-SKI could Julio Borbon or Jim rain over the stadium and that will Adducci. not be a bad thing. Catcher A.J. Pierzynski not only knows how to hit On the Mound (career-best 27 homers, career-tying Between Adams, Uejara Eyes on the 77 RBI and a .278 average in and Feldman leaving for 2012), he handles pitchers well. free agency and injuries, the ball, mister!

Plus as a left-handed hitter, he’ll pitching staff will feature only play more than right-hander about half of its 2012 members.

Geovany Soto.

Two players who began 2012 as The infield pretty much starters – Colby Lewis and Neftali remains the same with Mitch Feliz – will begin 2013 on the Moreland at first base, disabled list. So too will reliever Ian Kinsler at second, Elvis Joakim Soria, the former Kansas Andrus at shortstop and City Royals closer, and rookie get blitzed

2B Ian Kinsler Jeff Baker 1B Mitch Moreland Lance Berkman Jeff Baker C A.J. Pierzynski Geovany Soto DISABLED LIST Colby Lewis RHP Neftali Feliz RHP Joakim Soria RHP Martin Perez LHP ADDED Lance Berkman DH-1B A.J. Pierzynski C-1B LOST Josh Hamilton OF Michael Young IF Mike Napoli C-1B Mike Adams RP Koji Uehara RP Scott Feldman RP-SP TOP 5 PROSPECTS Jurickson Profar SS Age 20 2013 Team: Round Rock AAA Mike Olt 3B Age 23 2013 Team: Round Rock AAA Luis Sardinas SS Age 20 2013 Team: Frisco AA Cody Buckel SP Age 20 2013 Team: Frisco AA Jorge Alfaro C Age 19 2013 Team: Frisco AA

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american league playoff chase is wide open in 2013 By mark miller - mmiller@blitzweekly.com Combine a second wild-card spot with the surprise performances of some squads last season and major improvement of others this winter and spring and the result should be a wide open 2013 season for the American League.

When the 2012 season ended, eight teams won at least 85 games and were within five games of a playoff spot. This year, at least 10 teams, including all five in the American League East, have a legitimate chance of playing in October.

Baseball’s version of parity has finally arrived which makes it a great time to be a fan whether you root for the Texas Rangers or one of their opponents. Here’s our look at the American League for 2013: AL West As if the Rangers and Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim weren’t enough of bitter rivals, former Ranger Josh Hamilton’s arrival in Southern California makes it even deeper. Figure the Angels to be even hungrier after failing to make the playoffs after adding former Rangers’ ace pitcher C.J. Wilson, Albert Pujols and Zach Greinke.

The Angels have perhaps the best outfield in baseball with 2012 Rookie of the Year Mike Trout, Hamilton, Peter Bourjos and Vernon Wells. Add in first baseman Pujols, second baseman Howie Kendrick and designated hitter Mark Trumbo and it’s easy to see why the Angels will not have any trouble scoring runs. Whether they stop the opposition is in question as there’s little in the rotation behind Wilson and Jarod Weaver and the bullpen is questionable.

Nobody thought the Oakland A’s had a chance to make the playoffs, much less win the division last year.

The heart of the A’s offense is the outfield of Yoenis Cespedes, Coco Crisp and Josh Reddick. The pitching staff is anchored by youngsters Brett Anderson (age 25), Jarrod Parker (24), Tommy Milone (26), A.J. Griffin (25) and Dan Straily (24). Veteran Grant Balfour (35) returns as the closer.

The Seattle Mariners and newcomers Houston Astros need an A’s type surprise to finish ahead of the other three. Seattle’s offseason pickups focused on veterans Raul Ibanez, Jason Bay and Kendryf Morales. The Mariners still feature former Ranger Justin Smoak at first base and Blake Beavan as one of the starters behind ace Felix Hernandez.

Houston has a new manager in Bo Porter to take on a new league and division.

Predictions 1. Los Angeles 2. Texas 3. Oakland 4. Seattle 5. Houston

93-69 88-74 86-76 72-90 66-96

AL Central The Tigers won their second-straight division title anchored by Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera and first baseman Prince Fielder. With newcomer Torii Hunter in right field and the injured Victor Martinez at designated hitter, plus the Jason Justin Verlander-led pitching staff, the Tigers are the clear favoritewin this division again.

The Chicago White Sox again will be led by Adam Dunn and Paul Konerko on offense, and a strong pitching rotation of Chris Sale, Jake Peavy, John Danks and Gavin Floyd. Kansas City improved in 2012 led by designated hitter Billy Butler, outfielder Alex Gordon and young Lorenzo Cain (center field) and Alcides Escobar (shortstop). The addition of righthanders James Shields and Ervin Santana will greatly improve the starting pitching.

Cleveland improved itself by adding veterans Nick Swisher at first base, center fielder Michael Bourn and designated hitter Mark Reynolds. But the Indians will rely on a young starting staff anchored by 28-year-old Justin Masterson.

Predictions 1. Detroit 90-72 2. Chicago 82-82 3. Kansas City 80-82 4. Cleveland 75-87 5. Minnesota 70-92 AL East As hard as it was to believe the Baltimore Orioles won 93 games last year, it was equally puzzling that the Boston Red Sox won only 69. The problem for both this year is the emergence of the Toronto Blue Jays, steadiness of the Tampa Bay Rays and mere presence of the New York Yankees. This figures to be the toughest division in the league.

Thanks to the additions of shortstop Jose Reyes, outfielder Melky Cabrera, and starting pitchers R.A. Dickey, Mark Buehrle and Josh Johnson, the Blue Jays have gone from pretenders to division favorites. With holdovers Jose Bautista in left field, Edwin Encarnacion at first base and starters Ricky Romero and Brandon Morrow, it’s no wonder.

Pitching still anchors Tampa Bay led by starters David Price, Jeremy Hellickson and Matt Moore and closer Fernando Rodney. First baseman James Loney comes over from the Los Angeles Dodgers to join third baseman Evan Longoria, outfielder Ben Zobrist to anchor the offense.

How healthy their players are will determine the fate of the New York Yankees. First baseman Mark Teixeira, shortstop Derek Jeter, third baseman Alex Rodriguez and closer Mariano Rivera either have or will miss time.

While second baseman Robinson Cano and starting pitchers C.C. Sabathia are back and the team added Kevin Youkilis to play third base, the Yankees have more question marks than in recent years.

Any team with holdovers David Ortiz, Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury plus added Mike Napoli at first base and Shane Victorino in right field can’t be too bad. Plus the Boston Red Sox have starting pitcher like Jon Lester, Clay Buckholz, John Lackey and Ryan Dempster. So last year should be a distant memory.

Predictions 1 Toronto 92-74 2. Tampa Bay 89-73 3. New York 87-75 4. Baltimore 86-76 5. Boston 83-79 www.blitzweekly.com

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APRIL 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

Kailyn — “I love a man that can dance”

aNee lyn D i a K : l y: Modeo Courtes ography Phot Star Phot Rick

of more See and kailyn s at other kly.com wee z Blit

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VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

APRIL 2013

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“A true southern gentleman is always what I’ve been interested in....”

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and the BRP logo are trademarks of BRP or its affiliates. Products are distributed in the USA by BRP USA, Inc. Always ride responsibly and safely and observe applicable laws. Remember that riding and alcohol/drugs don’t mix.

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APRIL 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

rough riders

14

By blitz weekly staff - comments@blitzweekly.com

A

fter seeing enough style-impaired miscreants on the highways, we decided to put our heads together as a group and make a list to upgrade the Metroplex rides. We assembled as Avengers to stop the straddling of the ridiculous and usher in an era of riding the $%&*ing awesome. Oh yes, abide by our rules and Steve McQueen himself will jump out of the grave to give you the congratulatory head nod at the next traffic light. So get ready to lose the chaps and get with the program. This ride is gonna be rough, but you’ll look damn good doing it.

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Honda CBR1000RR Price: $13,800+ Engine: 999cc liquid-cooled inline four-cylinder Transmission: Close-ratio six-speed Curb appeal: Hopping off this bike makes you look like Channing Tatum and everyone else look like DJ Qualls…Google him.

Honda Speed and Strength Men’s Sportbike Jacket Price $99

Harley Davidson V-Rod Muscle Price: $15,149+ Engine Torque: 87 ft-lb Wheelbase: 67 in.

Motor Magnetism: This bike is to hot women what county jail is to Lindsay Lohan.

River Road Leather Biker Jacket Price $156

Kawasaki KFX 450R Price: $8,299+ Transmission: Five-speed with reverse Frame: Aluminum double cradle, racing type Action Traction: Whether you’re on the ground or in the air when you’re on this bike the badass meter is still there.

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

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Suzuki Hayabusa Limited Edition Price: $14,599+ Chassis: Lightweight and rigid twin-spar aluminum frame Engine: 1340cc in-line 4-cylinder injected, DOHC liquid-cooled engine The Fast & The Serious: This bike is so awesome that you look fast just standing next to it.

Women’s Little Miss Dangerous Riding Jacket by Speed & Strength Price $89 Women’s Scorpion EXO-750 Kingdom Helmet Price $154

We make excitement affordable.

972-231-4833

WWW.RICHARDSONMOTORSPORTS.COM

408 S. CENTRAL EXPRESSWAY RICHARDSON, TX 75080 Yamaha. The 1st Name in Motorsports.™ KTM 500 EXC 2013 Price: $9,399+ Clutch: Wet multi-disc clutch / Brembo hydraulics Ignition System: Contactless, controlled, fully electronic ignition system with digital ignition timing adjustment Double Wide Mafia: All the girls will bow to the undisputed king of the trailer park.

Scott Men’s Riding Pants & Jersey Set Price $88

Special Thanks To: Rider 2 Rider Liquidators www.r2rstore.com “Motorcycle Riding Essentials at Bargain Prices” less e am lug Sh p

*Finance offer subject to credit approval, applies to purchases of new Yamaha Motorcycles, ATVs & Scooters made on a Yamaha Installment Financing loan account from 2/15/13-6/30/13. Min. contract length 24 mos, max. 36 mos. Min. amount financed $5,000. Fixed APR of 3.99%, 5.99%, 6.99% or 12.99% assigned based on credit approval criteria. Monthly payments per $1,000 financed based on 36-mo. term are $29.52 at 3.99% and $33.69 at 12.99%. **Customer Cash offer good on select 2012 (and prior year) models between 2/15/13-6/30/13. ***Trade in your Motorcycle, ATV or SxS and get up to an additional $500 towards the purchase of an eligible new, unregistered 2009-2013 Motorcycle, ATV or SxS between 2/15/13-6/30/13. This offer may be combined with other current finance and customer cash offers. Offers good only in the U.S., excluding the state of Hawaii. Dress properly for your ride with a helmet, eye protection, long-sleeved shirt, long pants, gloves and boots. Do not drink and ride. It is illegal and dangerous. Yamaha and the Motorcycle Safety Foundation encourage you to ride safely and respect the environment. For further information regarding the MSF course, please call 1-800-446-9227. ATV models shown are recommended for use only by riders 16 years and older. YFZ450R recommended for experienced riders only. Yamaha recommends that all ATV riders take an approved training course. For safety and training information, see your dealer or call the ATV Safety Institute at 1-800-887- 2887. ATVs can be hazardous to operate. For your safety: Always avoid paved surfaces. Never ride on public roads. Always wear a helmet, eye protection and protective clothing; never carry passengers; never engage in stunt riding; riding and alcohol/drugs don’t mix; avoid excessive speed; and be particularly careful on difficult terrain. Professional riders depicted on closed courses. ©2013 Yamaha Motor Corporation, U.S.A. All rights reserved. • yamaha-motor.com 2/13 www.blitzweekly.com

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VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

to sturgis and back By darryl briggs - dbriggs@blitzweekly.com

S

turgis is a small South Dakota town of about 6,000 people for 50 weeks of each year but for two weeks in early August, it becomes a destination for hundreds of thousands of bikers.

What exactly is Sturgis and what goes on there? Describing Sturgis to someone who has never been there is a difficult task. Many only know about it from what they have seen on TV. Yes, there are wild parties, drinking and halfnaked women running around. But when you get hundreds of thousands of bikers showing up to one part of the country a lot of everything happens. And to say that people go to Sturgis for just one thing is a disservice to the wide variety of activities that take place there.

First off, many are there for the scenery. The roads in this part of the country are some of the loveliest to ride anywhere. Bikers go there throughout the spring, summer, and early fall and not just during the rally. Watch the movie Dances With Wolves and you will get an idea of the scenery. The Badlands, the rolling plains, and of course the Black Hills all converge in southwestern South Dakota. This gives motorcycle riders some of the best riding around.

Another great reason to go is to see all the bikes as you literally can’t go anywhere for hundreds of miles without seeing some. Imagine

a motorcycle rally centered around Dallas and you pull into a service station in Austin 200 miles away and it’s packed with motorcycles. That is what you see in Sturgis. And of course, along with all those riders are all those bikers. It’s great to be in an area where everyone is there collectively as a whole for the rally, whatever their own individual interpretation of a rally.

If you like concerts, Sturgis has plenty and I don’t mean on one night either. There’s a whole week of concerts. Where else can you see ZZ Top on one night, Kid Rock on another and Toby Keith the night after that. Bands that have performed at Sturgis include Journey, Def Leppard, Boston, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Poison, Creedence Clearwater Revisited, The Beach Boys, Heart, REO Speedwagon, the list goes on and on. Some comics and even political campaigners show up at Sturgis, including Cheech

and Chong, Pee Wee Herman, Larry the Cable Guy, and Senator John McCain.

If big name entertainment isn’t your thing, you always can find a plethora of things to pass the time. There’s midget bowling, MMA fights, motorcycle burn outs or one of the numerous bike shows going on.

Sturgis began with a motorcycle group, the Black Pine Gypsies, hosting motorcycle races some 72 years ago. It mostly was flat track racing back then. The Black Pine Gypsies are still around and in addition to the flat track racing, they host motocross and hill climb events.

With all of these events happening in the middle of some of the best scenic rides and sites in the country, it’s no wonder Sturgis is such a popular destination for bikers.

It’s impossible to see or do everything you may want to do by attending Sturgis only once.

So no matter how many times you have been before, there always is something new to check out. And remember, if you get tired of all the events and sites, you can always see the halfnaked women.

So like, where’s the free beer?

Darryl Briggs

Southwest Super Bikes.com Sales • Service • Financing Layaway – Bad Credit OK

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(972) 418-0555 • 2361 Fabens Road (west side of I-35 in between Royal & Walnut Hill) Dallas • southwestsuperbikes.com get blitzed

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

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APRIL 2013

DALLAS HARLEY-DAVIDSON®

Friday, April 12

Saturday, April 13 9AM - 4PM

The Harley-Davidson® factory demo truck will be onsite, fully-loaded with 2013 H-D® models for you to test ride FREE!* Ride the all-new Softail® Breakout®!

™ Don’t have a motorcycle license? Try the JUMPSTART™ experience.

You will be riding a Harley-Davidson® motorcycle without leaving our parking lot!

Saturday, April 13 9AM - 4PM BIKINI BIKE WASH

FASHION SHOW

VENDORS

LIVE MUSIC

1334 W. Centerville Road Garland, TX 75041 www.DallasHD.com (972) 270-3962 *All test riders must have a valid driver’s license with motorcycle endorsement (no permits), eye protection, shirt, long pants, and closed toe shoes.

Each rider must be 18 years or older, read and fill out waiver form, be present 10 minutes before ride, and attend the rider’s orientation.

D.O.T. approved helmet will be provided if rider does not have one. See store for details.

www.blitzweekly.com

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APRIL 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

Paige Kimberly

Rose

Sydni

How long have you been a Mavs Dancer and why did you choose to become one?

I grew up in the Dallas area, so I’ve always loved the Mavericks! Since the age of three, my life has basically revolved around dance! After being on my college dance team for a couple years, I was ready to pursue my passion on the professional level. Auditioning to become a Mavs Dancer has turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made! I’ve been on the team for three years now, and the experience has been absolutely amazing!

Do you have any nicknames that we should be aware of?

My teammates sometimes use my initials as my nickname… Some girls also call me Peep! One time we all made silly names for each other and mine was “Paigey Smalls!”

Tiffany

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I’m hooked on reality TV shows! To name a few… The Bachelor, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kourtney & Kim Take Miami are currently some of my favorites!

Quote to live by: Regardless of how cliché they might be, I’ve always found these two quotes to be very true: “Everything happens for a reason” and “Actions speak louder than words.”

If you were a superhero what would your super power be?

If I could, I’d read people’s minds! I’d also love to have the ability to fly, and teleport!

What do you like to do during the offseason?

When I get time off from practices, games, appearances, etc… I really enjoy traveling! I just love seeing new places and experiencing different lifestyles! The other thing I love doing during the offseason is going to our Mavs Dancer prep classes. I truly enjoy dancing, and it’s so much fun to learn new routines throughout the summer!

It also gives us a chance to meet new girls, help those that are planning to audition, and answer whatever questions they might have for us!

Jana

Samantha

Deanna

Atlanta Hawks:Nathan Bolster, Boston Celtics: Brian Babineau, Dallas Mavericks: Glenn James, Denver Nuggets: Garrett W. Ellwood, Golden State Warriors: Golden State Warriors, Miami Heat: David Alvarez, Minnesota Timberwolves: Grierson Photography, New Orleans Hornets: Gary B. Gar-

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VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

APRIL 2013

19

Jessica Morgan

Natalie

Jackie man, Orlando Magic: Michael Cairns, Portland Trail Blazers: Nick Dawes, Toronto Raptors: Jon Belaski, Washington Wizards: Washington Wizards

www.blitzweekly.com

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APRIL 2013

what steven’s craving

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

By Steven Doyle - www.cravedfw.com

Once a year we assess one of the finest culinary wonders of modern times. The hamburger truly is the perfect food, wrapped in a warm and toasty bun that firmly secures the precious cargo of seared meat and any number of vegetables. A really good cheese is an added bonus; a sunny-side up egg a treasure for a delicious self-saucing effect.

One of the most common questions ever asked of a food writer is where exactly do you find the perfect burger?

The answer is far more difficult than you may think. Dallas plays host to many fine burgers; some more obvious than others. There are two schools of burgers available. The chef-driven burger, which will most likely be made of the superior grass-fed beef, house-made bun and many other clever tricks that only a fine chef can produce such as their own pickles and mustard. The chef burger can set you back a few bucks, often chipping away at the better part of a $20 bill. These are amazing and well worth the expense, but best left for special occasions.

The every day burger can be quite tasty as well. These often are made in rundown shanties or bars, but not limited to those spaces. A good burger find at a bargain price is a gem, and well worth

This burger means business

Dairy-Ette at Ferguson and Oates for a great greasy burger, serviceable fries and house-made root beer. The burgers are not the massive variety you might find at the newer generation burger palaces, but instead a regulation-sized meat sandwich grilled properly, and thoroughly.

Mmmmm...bacon!

sharing as a claim to victory.

We will share a few of our favorite burgers from both categories. There have been many new players in the past year, and this useful guide might prove a useful road map to your next lunch. get blitzed

Six Napkins Required One of the relative new players in the burger world is Off-Site Kitchen owned by Nick Badovinus who also owns the new Tried and True on Henderson, and the smattering of Neighborhood Services restaurants. The burger spot is located on Irving Boulevard, just on the edge of the Design District. The restaurant serves up incredible burgers with hand ground Steven Doyle beef, sturdy and delicious buns, and a plethora of garnish options. Add smoked bacon relish and an egg for an extra holy experience. The fries are an elite house-made option.

Maple and Motor is one of our favorite burger places in Dallas, and after a recent visit

Steven Doyle

a tear was struck. Not because we were so damned happy, we were, but because of the added fresh grilled jalapenos and spicy brisketladen chili that we had topped on the burger.

For an extra ethereal experience ask for a thick slice of fried bologna to go with your huge beef patty.

In Oak Cliff look to legendary Wingfield’s Breakfast and Burgers located on Beckley.

The experience of ordering and a search for where to dine also will add to the adventure of this massive burger that weighs nearly a pound for a single with all the accoutrements. The fries are the frozen crinkle cut variety, but are kicked up with the essence of bacon grease for another reason to visit your cardiologist.

Another Dallas-area institution located in Richardson is Del’s Charcoal Burger. The trip to the wrong side of Richardson will pay dividends in burger magic. Order a burger with crispy bacon and jalapenos with a side of fat and crispy fries and a mug of root beer for this hometown favorite.

Traveling east also nets some great burger finds. Look no further than to the 55-year old

A Cold Beer and a Burger Please The newest burger in town is located in Preston Center just off Northwest Highway. Here you will find the Austin transplant, Hopdoddy. These folks promise house-ground beef, freshly baked buns, and a fantastic burger that is value priced. These burgers are righteous, and come replete with a fine selection of local brews such as Deep Ellum or the best beer for your buck, the 9.1% ABV Peticolas Velvet Hammer.

The best burger in Dallas that comes with a side of beer is none other than the elusive Goodfriend Beer Garden and Burger House.

Found just off Garland Road at Peavy, Goodfriend has one of the finest beer selections in the city. It also serves up a fantastic burger, but you will have to wait until 5 p.m. each night before being granted a bite. Look for a new burger on the menu that is also topped with velvety rich smoked brisket.

Heavenly in its brilliance.

Tell Me A Few Fast and Cool Burgers In Rockwall seek out a spot called Boots Burgers which has been serving since 1968.

This really oddball burger joint is located in a house where next door neighbors are mowing their lawns and enjoying front yard slip and slides. The burgers are cheap, delicious and undeniably the strangest place to find a burger.

Order the jalapeno relish.

We also like Square Burger in McKinney, Club Schmitz near Harry Hines, the Grape (sold only on Sunday and Monday), Ten Bells Tavern in Oak Cliff, and Liberty Burger with its few locations in Dallas.

You have your marching orders, now go and eat a few burgers. If you have your favorite burger you wish for us to try, send a note to steven@cravedfw.com.

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Ten bells tavern rings true!

By Greg Holman - www.eatdallas.blogspot.com

The Bell tolls for thee

Contact Info: Ten Bells Tavern 232 W. 7th St. (in the Bishop Arts District) Dallas – 214-943-2677 tenbellstavern.com

R F O M R E I H B ERE E HT EN T TH

IC GERMAN STYLE B IER

-

watering hole, on the cool side of the Trinity.

Named after the infamous Ten Bells Public House in London’s East End (noted for its unique and lively interior and patrons, and for its association with a couple of Jack the Ripper’s victims), Ten Bells fuses a traditional English pub – ox-blood colored walls, a dark wood bar, nice takes on traditional British pub grub and vintage British decor – with an Austin beer garden’s live music and DJ’s (on the weekends), a tremendously friendly, knowledgeable, and helpful staff; an ample patio complete with a walk-up bar window, and lots of picnic-bench patio seating (there are two huge communal tables outside too).

Many of you old Lee Harvey’s regulars may have memories of Jack, the awesome Pit Bull Terrier that used to guard the warehouse next door to LH’s. Meri is the wonderful lady who adopted Jack when that warehouse closed, and a painting of Jack now graces (guards) the beer taps at (Jack’s) Ten Bells Tavern, so of course, dogs are more than welcome to bring their people and come hang on the patio.

The well-stocked bar offers a thoughtfullychosen selection of regularly-rotated draft beers (most are locally brewed) and a bountiful selection of bottled brews. There’s also a nice choice of liquor, thanks to Greg Matthews, who has an exceptional palate when it comes to spirits. He has master-minded the assembly of an absolutely amazing selection of local and rare

Scotches, Whiskeys, and Bourbons, to tickle your tongue’s fancy. TB also is beginning to host some outrageously cool tasting/pairing dinners.

Recently Ten Bells has gained notoriety by being voted one of the 10 “Best New Bars” in Dallas; its house-made pickled eggs were named The Observer’s 2012 “Best Appetizer;” the chicken wings garnered the No. 23 spot on the The Observer’s “100 Favorite Dishes” list, and were just named some of the “Ten Best Wings in the Country” by Robb Report Magazine.

The kitchen is manned by innovative, young and upcoming Chef Carlos Mancera, who already has an impressive background having previously cooked for Stephan Pyles, Eddie V’s, Cedars Social, and Bolsa, (with additional training

by Katherine Clapner - the genius behind Dude Sweet Chocolates). Food is served nightly until 10 p.m. and the kitchen produces some truly exceptional dishes.

Greg Holman The set menu is short and simple, with Chef Carlos also creating some amazing daily specials. Recent special offerings have included Pan-Seared Sea Scallops with Roasted Heirloom Beets in Citrus-Brown Butter Reduction, Risotto Frito on Corn Pico de Gallo, Grilled Pork Cheek over Three Bean Cassoulet, and Roasted Stuffed Quail on Polenta with Pickled Onion, just to name a few.

Menu staples include a well-executed cheese board, fish and chips, a classic Reuben sandwich, a traditional British Pub Butty sandwich, a stand-up cheeseburger, and a phenomenal chicken Cobb sandwich.

Ten Bells is an unpretentious, comforting destination and I find myself longing to sit on the welcoming patio, sipping on a cool beer, munching some tasty wings or nice cheeses, and talking with Meri, Michael, Greg, their awesome staff, and their like-minded but diverse patrons, all to a backdrop of classic new wave tunes, and strolling Bishop Arts patrons. It’s a very relaxing and fun time indeed!

So, stop by this intriguing gastro-dive and see why everyone’s ears are ringing with Ten Bells!

- AU

T

en Bells Tavern may be a newcomer to Dallas’ flourishing gourmet cuisine-scene, but it certainly feels like a trusted, old friend. Ten Bells is comforting. It’s like putting on a good fitting glove; it’s like tomato soup and grilled cheese, it’s the quilt that your grandmother made you…it’s home.

Meri Dahlke, Michael Hickey, and Greg Matthews are the brain trust behind Ten Bells Tavern, and have turned a former (and possibly haunted!) Alcoholic’s Anonymous meeting hall in the Bishop Arts District, into Dallas’ first “Gastro-Dive”! Ten Bells is my new favorite

TOUR AT 11AM EVERY SATURDAY THE BIER FROM HERE FRESHEST GERMAN BIER IN TOWN www.franconiabrewing.com • (972) 542-0705 495 McKinney Parkway • McKinney • Texas www.blitzweekly.com

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Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating (because nobody uses AOL chat rooms anymore) By karina manlove - @blitzweekly

Oops my hard drive is showing

L

ast week I created an online dating profile. I’ve had many in the past, but I always deleted them after I started seeing someone. This one, however, I started purely for investigative purposes. Would things be different this time? Would I still encounter the same kinds of men? How long would it take before I got my first strange message?

Disclaimer: I used my own personal photo on my profile, but I did not use my true age. This was done so anyone who searched for me could not eliminate thousands of profiles by selecting criteria to narrow down the results to find my profile.

DO: Send a message introducing yourself This time around, I did get a few messages that did not include introductions. The best way to get a woman to respond to you? “Hi, how are you? My name is Joe Schmo. I saw you like [mutual interests], things we have in common.

What’s your name?” Not, “I would love to go down on you for hours,” “I have a house in Vegas, a ranch in Napa Valley, and a yurt in Colorado,” or “I’ve been told I have one of the best looking (euphemism for male genitalia). I kind of do.”

It’s like a business transaction. Be polite, honest, and to the point. Also, a sense of humor will get you much further than sexual innuendo alone.

Simply saying hello, asking how the person is, and giving your name is more inviting and will most likely elicit a faster response. This is an easy approach that erases doubt like “Was that the right thing to say?”

Please use your real name, not the name you gave your car, dog, or what your mom or your friends call you. Adding in whatever mutual interests you have also is helpful as doing so get blitzed

shows you actually read the person’s profile. The days of AOL chat rooms are over, so use the profile to your advantage and send a message introducing yourself and what interests or hobbies you share with the person you are messaging. I swear this is the most effective means to woo someone on any dating site.

DON’T: Send strange introductory messages One opening sentence I received: “I am a lusty adventurous man who is morally imperative (sic). I am a final year grad student who is getting [screwed] mindlessly.”

“Lusty adventurous man”? That could mean a number of things. One, he is so adventurous he loves excitement and variety in life, so much so he longs for it.

Two, he’s full of energy and likes to try new things. Three, in the sexual sense, he’s adventurous in the bedroom.

There is little in the sentence to provide clues as to which of these three is closest to his meaning, and there was nothing else in the rest of his message to hint at anything beyond my three possibilities. The rest of his opening sentence also is confusing. What does it mean if someone calls himself “morally imperative”? Additionally, as his sentence needed either a conjunction or a semicolon to separate two separate clauses, I determined he most likely is not studying literature or creative writing.

His inclusion of the latter part of his second clause had me laughing because I couldn’t figure out if he meant being a final year graduate student means he’s so swamped with work he can barely function, or if he is gallivanting naked around the bedroom so often he can’t think straight. This is a great example of why and how overdone introductions can work against you instead of for you. The first time I read this I could barely comprehend it, and I am still clouded to his original meaning after rereading it multiple times. I considered perhaps this message was supposed to be read with a sarcastic tone, but this is the Internet and it’s difficult to be certain. Keep your initial messages succinct and free of weird tripe and you won’t scare off potential dates, and save the sarcasm for after you establish that you and your potential date share a love for Daria.

In a week, I received 12 messages and had 147 profile views. I only uploaded one picture, which was just of my face. I did not include decolletage, cleavage, swimsuit, or full body shots. I can only wonder what kinds of messages (and how many) I would have received had I uploaded more pictures, especially ones of my face and other things. My biggest takeaway thus far was that it doesn’t matter if I just post one picture – and of my face – I’m still going to get bizarre messages. Who knows what one more week will bring.

HOLLYWOOD PROFILE ALEX WINTER

By Vivian fullerlove comments@blitzweekly.com

In 1999, two 19-year-old kids changed the world with a little Internet site they called Napster.

Very few moments in music history have been as polarizing as the click that enabled people around the world to freely share and download music over the Internet.

The firestorm that would become the lives of Napster co-founders Shawn Fanning and Sean Parker from 1999-2001 is brilliantly captured in the new documentary Downloaded. The film focuses on the advent of media sharing, including the rise of the game-changing company and its controversial pioneers. The digital revolution ultimately created a technology paradigm shift and upended the music industry.

Audiences will hear insight from well-known artists and figures within the music industry including: The Beastie Boys’ Mike D, Noel Gallagher, Henry Rollins, former Sony Music chairman Don Lenner, former record producer and Island Records founder Chris Blackwell and Hilary Rosen, former chief executive officer of the Recording Industry Association of America.

I talked with director Alex Winter about this truly riveting documentary that world premiered March 9 at the SXSW Film Festival this month.

What made you decide to make Napster the subject of a documentary?

I was really fascinated with Napster when it first appeared. I used it like crazy. I’m kind of tech oriented, and it was really clear to me that it was just going to change everything. There was nothing even remotely like this that existed. And it just suddenly showed up. In 1998-1999, we had no broadband, no fast Internet. We had dialup, and there were no Internet communities...no Facebook...nothing, and suddenly, overnight, we had all of that, and it worked. It was incredible.

And suddenly, you had a social community, and you had real-time chat. You had the ability to quickly move media around amongst your friends, and it worked, and it didn’t break down or stop or take nine or 10 hours to move one file.

It’s really hard to convey how big a deal that was to those of us who were really utilizing the net at that time. It was a very, very big change. So, I was really taken with Napster, and I just thought the whole thing was revolutionary.

Was it difficult to get the people involved to go on camera and talk about it?

Some of them yes, some no. Fanning and Parker I knew really, really well and some of the other major players in Napster I knew really well. That doesn’t mean they necessarily wanted to talk about it.

You know, Fanning and Parker had lived through it once and it was probably the most painful experience of their lives so it took some convincing. And certainly on the record label side, it took convincing that, you know, that I really wasn’t setting out to make some kind of goofy, didactic story and make everyone look like idiots or make the record companies look like idiots or anything, I really felt like no one has ever really told this story. You’ve heard different versions of it, but there’s never been a really definitive explanation of what started the

downloading revolution and how we got here and now what. That’s what I was really hoping to answer. Certainly what I’ve done isn’t an end all, be all it’s just a piece of a very big conversation, but I at least wanted to add to that conversation.

I guess when Lars Ulrich shows up at your company doorstep you must think you’ve done something really right and really wrong at the same time.

Yeah, you’ve completely succeeded and completely failed all at once.

Having directed both feature films and now a documentary, how does directing a doc differ from directing a narrative?

I’d never made a documentary before. I’ve worked in a lot of different mediums. I’ve worked in advertising and TV as a director, and I’ve worked on a lot of TV commercials so I’ve done a lot of commercials in documentary style.

I’m a big fan of documentaries, and feel like I know the structure and how they operate. But it’s interesting. It was very enjoyable. But I kind of did it like a narrative. I structured it in three acts. I used my script as a template. But you have to be a lot more flexible with a documentary and that’s what I liked about this story.

Would you be interested in revisiting the idea of doing the story as a feature film.

No. Well, that was a definitive, “No.” I really don’t. I honestly feel this is the very, very best way to tell the story. I don’t want to tell it again in another way. I really feel like it’s done, and I feel like in a way I dodged a bullet because all that time I wanted to make it as a narrative, I was convinced that was the way to tell the story.

And I think it was only like a month into making the story that I turned to my editor going thank God. I didn’t make this as a narrative because there is no better way to tell the story. The story is filled with so many weird details and so many really brilliant idiosyncratic people, I just don’t think there is a way to tell the story and convey the depth of those people.

Liner notes VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

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By peter gerstenzang - pzang7@optonline.net

I

t’s an honor to be writing the liner notes for the re-release of the album by seminal ‘60s band, The Unbelievably Grim. Especially, since up until now, I’ve been best-known for doing the instructions for Yahtzee. Clearly, though, this work was edgier than I imagined.

So it makes sense I should do something about a band whose raw, untutored sound influenced several generations of bands.

Plus, I finally get to publish something without diagrams or arrows!

In 1966, The Grim’s only album sold a mere 1,000 copies. More amazingly, many of these listeners suffered from Multiple Personality Disorder. So, in reality, only 300 folks bought the disc. I know one guy who purchased it as a bond salesman, rabbi and interpretative dancer.

Such was the devotion this band inspired.

The reason for its growing reputation is due to leader J. Gordon Melnick, who wrote the group’s defiant, deviant songs. Melnick was a genius who hailed from a small Long Island, N.Y., town. At age 17, he tried experimenting sexually which, in his case, mostly meant using test tubes and beakers. Still,

his frightened parents committed him to the State Hospital for shock therapy. Although Melnick later claimed no bitterness about this, his song “My Folks Are Toast” belies this fact.

At the hospital, Melnick’s life changed dramatically. Here he met fellow patient Brit Mick Reynolds who suffered from schizophrenia. That meant for half the day, he was a great viola player. But by 2 p.m., he became noted ornithologist Simon Twit. The two wrote numerous songs together only in the mornings. In the afternoons, Melnick had to listen to Twit’s lectures about the migratory habits of the Tufted hummingbird. After four months, both were released in a unanimous decision made by the entire staff.

Eventually, they hooked up with guitarist Starving Levine and female drummer Hope Fitzgerald. However, with Flower Power in fullswing, it wasn’t easy for The Grim to find work.

Finally, band members came to an arrangement with a club called Doom. The band needed a place to polish its act. The club needed people to set the tables. Melnick never learned whether knives went inside or outside the spoons.

Ultimately, the Grim recorded “The Eponymous Album.” The band had a budget for seven days. Five were spent recording the songs with two arguing about the redundancy of the album’s title.

Still, what songs they were.

Take “Marquis of Shades” about a hipster who’s “always wearin’ sunglasses,” and ends up using the wrong changing room at Bloomingdales. There’s David Bowie’s favorite, “I Could Just Strangle You (With My Feather Boa),” about cross-dressing. And why “Doin’ it near an American Legion Hall” is always dicey.

The Unbelievably Grim broke up after the failure of its debut most of which can be blamed on poor distribution practices. In fact, the album was shipped exclusively to Christian music stores. Most people who bought it, returned it the next day. Except for the folks who really wanted to make sure it was blasphemous. They

kept it for several weeks.

The band’s fate? Levine and Fitzgerald now play jazz and are required by law not to say anything nice about rock and roll. Reynolds became a lounge singer until damaging his voice screaming about his missing royalties.

Melnick, the group’s visionary? He recently said he’s proud of his band’s legacy. He’s working on new material and hopes to tour with a new band soon. When, he says, is up to fate.

And, of course, his current employer, Raymour and Flanigan Furniture, which owes him three weeks vacation not to mention four sick days.

The fetus stage of a relationship By posie pockets - comments@blitzweekly.com

B

udding relationships can be joyous and full of bliss. They can also be a real pain in the derrière. We dream, hope and wish for it so bad. Then when we actually catch hold of it, we’re a nervous, second-guessing wreck. If we can just get past the initial pains of a new relationship, it is worth it. But you still have to trudge through the some times awkward moments.

TEXTING vs. CALLING Call me Sandra Dee and slap a poodle skirt on my ass, but I sure am sick of this texting nonsense from the boys. If you want to take me out, fill my belly full of grub and seal the deal with a toss in the sack, please call and ask me out. Even if you are a good ol’ fashioned boy and truly want a dinner date and that’s it, would it kill you to pick up the phone and verbally invite me? I know some say chivalry is dead, but is telephone common courtesy a lost art too?

I was looking back on the dates I’ve been on in the last few months. Every single one was initiated by a text. The funny thing is I didn’t even realize I wasn’t receiving a phone call. Is this the new norm and am I pitching a fit for nothing?

I feel like us girls have gotten so conditioned that we graciously accept a text as if it was a formal invitation delivered in the mail sealed

with a golden stamp. To me, it’s zip effort the guy is putting into the ask.

As texting is the standard, run of the mill communication method, perhaps men think that we women prefer this too. Well I’m making a formal declaration and I’ll gladly call you and deliver the news voice-to-voice. Give the girl a call. It might be awkward and you might be nervous, but suck it up. She’ll appreciate the gesture and it will put you ahead of the pack for sure.

DTR Many parts of a new, fresh relationship I love. In fact I crave it. Other parts make me nervous and queasy. My palms are sweating as I type, just thinking about it. I hate that moment where you “define the relationship.”

It’s established you’re not just another notch in his belt and it’s time to be BF-GF. It’s completely terrible when both parties aren’t on the same page and the other person brings it up. Yikes! I am a fan of the guy manning up and initiating the DTR. Fellas, if you like a lady and you want her to be your main squeeze, tell her. Tell everyone. If you think she’s fine, chances are another man does too. So snatch her up and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. If she does reject you, I promise

she’s going to appreciate you wearing your heart on your sleeve regardless.

THE EX FILE Some things are just better left unsaid. There ain’t no need to be dragging out the ex file early on.

Some times it will just create neurotic behavior and unwarranted paranoia.

I can’t tell you how many times I looked at my ex’s ex’s Facebook profile just to make sure she didn’t look prettier than me that day. What a freakin’ time waster and detrimental to the selfesteem. Of course there is a time and place to bring up a past lover, but within the right context.

Bringing up past relationships too soon may also give the impression the person isn’t over his/her ex yet. The jealousy will brew and the relationship could be wrecked. Why not enjoy the infancy stage of a relationship and not make things too heavy yet? If the relationship lasts, there will be plenty of opportunity to bring up the case of the ex. Until then, keep it under lock and key.

SLEEPOVERS With this next topic, I’m not sure if I’m old fashioned or semi-slutty. If I’m seeing a guy,

some times he’ll spend the night. There’s no serious hanky panky going on besides some clothed friction.

But I let him spend the night in my bed. To some of my friends, I’m an uptight prude because we‘re not sexing. But to my mom, she is perplexed as to why I have a “stranger” (her word) in my bed. So is it weird and moving too fast to have a slumber party, even if there’s no fornication?

Sleeping next to someone is incredibly intimate and frightening. Don’t even get me started on morning breath or the bodily sounds that can emerge come morning light. Why the hell would anyone want to share their safe haven with someone they’re casually seeing? Our bed is the only place where we can be completely vulnerable and at home - asleep.

I’m definitely going to re-think this with the next guy I date. Sure he can come over for a “movie night” and rattle my headboard a bit with a makeout session. But come time when the credits are scrolling, his rear is walking downstairs and out the front door.

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APRIL 2013

almost famous:

inside the mind of a male songbird an interview with cameron ernst By arthur belfield - Comments@blitzweekly.com

W

ith a successful March 16 performance at the Walk the Light Arts Festival in Cedar Hill under his belt and the heavily-anticipated release of his new EP Always Always, singer-songwriter Cameron Ernst is on the verge of becoming the talk of the town, and the world!

His success is partly due to his uncanny ability to craft his own unique blend of “grown up pop music” that dares to touch upon subjects you won’t hear from Top 40 darlings like Justin Bieber or Carly Rae Jepsen. However, that may be the very thing that will one day place Ernst among them.

Ernst, who holds Norah Jones and Tayler Swift as influences, perhaps knows more than most, how to write a song that is so totally honest and heartfelt that we can’t help but fall in love with it.

BLITZ: What’s the overall theme for your new EP Always Always and how is it different from your previous release Focus On the Road?

Focus on the Road was my first. I’m doing this in terms of I like the lyrics.

I was looking ahead in terms of the road I had for my music. There’s a song on there called Love is Louder on that album that I started taking to schools and using my music to connect with students and I started my tour Love on the Road. I’ve been doing it since around this time last year since that EP came out.

Now Always Always is really songs that have been along this journey of going to schools and taking my music into schools and some of the stories that have come out of that. The first song is called Run and it’s about going for your dream and doing whatever you need to do and giving it all you got, but not doing it half-assed or anything like that. Really putting it all out there!

There’s another song called You Don’t Understand I wrote that about me not really wanting to hear what other people had to say what were their songs from my road, my path or what success I was having. I just kind of wanted to do it my way. High schoolers or people who are misunderstand should really relate to this message of the path they want to take. A lot of the songs have to do with my journey over the last two years and I feel that Always Always and there are lyrics from the second track called “You Won’t Be Turned Away” to me that’s a promise to continue and to push forward!

BLITZ: I noticed that on the first CD there were a lot of songs that dealt with themes of love but not in the traditional sense, and the song “Deserts and Storms” was really deep in a melancholy type of way. What made you tell this type of military story? get blitzed

That song I actually wrote about (child soldiers) and I’m a huge advocate for organizations like Invisible Children. They’re trying to capture Joseph Kony. It’s basically about rescuing child soldiers. These kids in Africa are being captured by these armies. The Deserts and Storms song was really about how one child has to rely upon another child soldier. It’s like a friend to help get through the hard times, which is something we can’t relate to but I wanted to put it into a story that was relatable. That’s why I wrote the song and when the music video came along I had this child soldier thing in my mind but I decided let’s just make it American and I took it back to WW2.

BLITZ: People in America tend to think of child soldiers as something that just happens overseas, but its happening just south of us in Mexico and through gangs in Chicago.

For my music, I like to write it where that they can relate it to any form or fashion. When somebody listens to Deserts and Storms they might not automatically think about Africa but might think about kids in Mexico or Chicago or a struggle in their own life.

BLITZ: Do you ever feel that you shouldn’t put certain songs out there, like you’re being too honest or too personal?

If it’s honest and it’s truthful than you’re definitely being yourself. I feel that there’s nothing more beautiful and artistic than honestly. I haven’t put anything out there that I felt like “oh man I shouldn’t have put that out there!” Everything that I put out there is me, it’s HONESTY! BLITZ: Your song Three really simplified the whole love trinity , it’s like pop music for grownups.

I never thought about it like that.

BLITZ: It could have gone the other way, but it didn’t, was that the point?

I don’t like turning on the radio and hearing like these great melodies and these hooks but the lyrics are so empty. No matter what it’s about! Rather it’s parting or whatever. It’s kinda disappointing. I can love everything about the song, but the lyrics. I just want to bring some deeper messages and some thinking to music and also let it be enjoyable. I love catchy hooks and melodies!

April movies VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

By gary dowell - www.movielink.com Evil Dead: Five friends head to a remote cabin for vacation, unwittingly release an evil force, and are gruesomely picked off by it one at a time. This remake of the 1981 cult classic has fans divided over its merits, even with director Sam Raimi overseeing it as executive producer.

(Hiring Diablo Cody to co-author the screenplay didn’t help either). Early buzz says it favors hardcore fans, but didn’t Cabin in the Woods skewer this sort of thing already? Release Date: April 5 Trance: Danny Boyle (127 Hours, Slumdog Millionaire) returns after a brief hiatus with this sleek thriller about an art auctioneer (James McAvoy) who becomes involved with a gang and partners with a hypnotherapist (Rosario Dawson) to recover a stolen painting. The premise sounds like Hitchcock-lite, but a mindbending red band trailer and the fact that Boyle is re-teaming with screenwriter John Hodge (Trainspotting) make this a must-see. Release Date: April 5 Upstream Color: Richardson’s very own Shane Carruth made a name for himself on the indie circuit in 2004 with the trippy time travel drama Primer. He returns to theaters with this layered, abstract science fiction/thriller/drama that recently made waves and sparked a bidding war at Sundance.

Critics have likened it to Tree of Life, meaning it’s for the cinematically adventurous only.

Release Date: April 5 42: Brian Helgeland (screenwriter of L.A. Confidential) wrote and directed this biopic about legendary baseball player Jackie Robinson, who rose from the Negro Leagues to the majors by signing with the Brooklyn Dodgers, breaking the sport’s color barrier in the process. The cast features Harrison Ford, Christopher Meloni, and Alan Tudyk, plus newcomer Chadwick Boseman as Robinson.

Release Date: April 12

Oblivion: After a

bit of a dry spell, Tom Cruise earned some audience cred with the surprisingly fun Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol, and then promptly pissed it away with the recent bore Jack Reacher. He seems poised to bounce back with this science fiction adventure from Tron: Legacy director Joseph Kosinski. The trailer, a closely guarded plot, and cast that includes Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko, Melissa Leo, and Game of Thrones’ Nikolaj Coster-Waldau make this one highly anticipated. Release Date: April 19 Pain and Gain: Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson star as Floridian bodybuilders who find themselves deltoids-deep in an extortion ring and kidnapping scheme gone awry in this comedy from none other than ACTION!!!! director Michael Bay. This could be the closest thing to an actual screenplay Bay has ever directed, but Coen Brothers-esque premise – based on a true story, no less -- could be a bold move for the oft-maligned filmmaker.

At least it’s not another Transformers movie.

Release Date: April 26

4.

8.

3.

7.

HARD 8 By Mark Beneventi

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

1. Costco now carries designer wedding dresses. If that doesn’t make the bride-to-be feel special enough, get her a Hemp ring and register at the Family Dollar.

2. Costco wedding dresses: For the girl who said “yes” on the night you met (to you and your roommate!).

3. Costco wedding dresses are wrinkle-proof.

That way they will still look good after a long night crumpled in the corner of your custom van on the honeymoon. (PS: All nite free parking behind the Denny’s)

Aries March 21 – April 19 You are surrounded by idiots. Pack patience and a bat with your lunch this month.

Taurus April 20 – May 20 Your full-o-crap meter is well-tuned and highly functioning. This is a good time to cast judgment on others just like Judge Judy!

Gemini May 21 – June 21 You don’t have to like unlikeable people, but this month, they seem to really like you. Look busy or pretend be deaf.

APRIL 2013

scheduled Grant called United Airlines, only to be told Hendrix was accidently shipped to Ireland instead and would soon be flown back to Newark, then dog-legged on to Phoenix.

4. Costco wedding dresses? I think it’s finally time I take the plunge.

5. Costco wedding dresses, because not all of us have Dennis Rodman’s money.

6. Costco wedding dresses: A Mormon’s wet dream!

7. Costco wedding dresses – The Liz Taylor Collection, straight from her closet.

8. Seriously, I’d like to apologize to Costco.

It’s all in fun. Please don’t come after me with a 5-gallon drum of mayonnaise in each hand.

DOG WITH FREQUENT FLYER MILES Moving to Phoenix from Staten Island, New York, in March 2013, Meredith Grant arranged for her dog, Hendrix, a 6-year-old English springer spaniel, to be shipped via United Airlines. But, when her best-friend didn’t arrive on

Cancer June 22 – July 22 Road rage is highly justified this month.

Do your best, and make sure your insurance is current. 635 awaits you Road Warrior!

Leo July 23 – August 22 Someone is trying to get your goat.

Don’t take the bait. Leave your goat at home. Try being nice for a change Captain Asshat!

Virgo August 23 – September 22 When was the last time you went bowling? Don’t bother going out. Try organizing your sock drawer instead.

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SIX MONTHS? DARNED! The Cincinnati Enquirer reported March 20, 2013, Austin Whaley, 18, was arrested in Covington, Kentucky, after entering a bingo hall catering to elderly players, before screaming “BINGO!” Meaning, these senior citizens, many with poor hearing and sight, cleared their bingo cards.

After refusing to apologize, Whaley was given a disorderly conduct charge and ordered by a judge to refrain from uttering the word “bingo” for six months.

Libra September 23 – October 22 You’ll spend the next few weekends at Costco looking for wedding dresses.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Be top dog this month if you don’t want to be treated like a little bitch.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Office snacks are way too tempting.

Wear your fat pants.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Neighborly tension is on the rise.

Practice screaming, “Get off mah land,” in your car.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 The small talk fairy skipped your house. Charge your iPod and avoid eye contact with strangers.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 You being nominated “The Biggest Loser” has nothing to do with that tv show…

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VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3

laid back atmosphere and a drink coined the “Yoohoo Yeehaw” (imagine an adult-version of a chocolate Frosty). Looking to show off your pipes? They host Thursday night karaoke sessions for some mid-week fun. Where to find it: 3510 Commerce St., Dallas, TX 75226.

The List

By amber lafrance - alafrance@blitzweekly.com

Our city is chock full of choices. Here are a few of my most cherished spots in Dallas and why I love them so: The Granada Live music is everything to a gal like me and a venue with fair prices, great talent and a friendly atmosphere is key. The Granada Theater staff makes you feel like you’re part of their close-knit family and continues to book the best up-andcoming talent night after night. I adore the art deco design (straight from the Old Hollywood days) and was so thrilled to hear they opened up shop next door with their smaller 7-days-aweek free music stage and restaurant. Where to find it: 3524 Greenville Ave., Dallas, TX 75206.

Veritas This award winning “vinopub” gives you a choice of more than 300 wine labels and craft beers, served alongside tasty cheeses and meats. If I’m in the mood for a relatively low-key Friday night, enjoying a glass (okay, maybe three) of red wine here is just awesome. It’s a great date spot and has a completely casual feel. Where to find it: 2323 N. Henderson Ave., Suite 103, Dallas, TX 75206.

Boulevardier Brunch holds a special place in my heart. Go for the bottomless mimosas (only $10) and be

CultureHype Public Relations and Marketing 469.877.1533 get blitzed

adventurous. Fantastic entrees like the eggs meurette and beef tongue hash grace the menu of this French-inspired bistro. Want something more traditional? Wrap your lips around their delectable homemade buttery biscuits. Where to find it: 408 N Bishop Ave., Dallas, TX 75208.

a lazy Sunday with friends. Where to find it: 1010 N. Riverfront Blvd., Dallas, TX 75207 Dallas Contemporary A free contemporary art museum for all to enjoy, this place offers a mix of regional and international art and has such a cool industrial feel. If you’re into galleries and open to daring, unique exhibits, you’ll love it. Where to find it: 161 Glass St., Dallas, TX 75207.

Crooked Tree Coffeehouse Want to sit back and relax with your morning cup of Joe? Full of colorful mismatched tables, chairs and couches, this is a coffee shop with a living room vibe. They serve tasty Direct Trade and Organic coffees and teas; the staff is always friendly. Rotating musicians and artists provide entertainment on the weekends. Where to find it: 2414 Routh St., Dallas, TX 75201.

The Free Man The Big Easy came to Deep Ellum in 2011 in the form of this cozy restaurant/bar/venue.

Anywhere you can enjoy Cajun fare, free live jazz and cocktails at once is just plain cool. The food is spicy and delicious and the atmosphere is a nice change from your average bar. Where to find it: 2626 Commerce St., Dallas, TX 75226.

Lulu Bs If you’re in the mood for rummaging through old vinyl, velvet portraits of Elvis, nudie mags from the ‘60s and vintage typewriters, this is the place for you. They have two locations, but the one in the Design District is my personal favorite.

It’s a wonderful way to burn an hour or two on

Black Swan Saloon I discovered this hidden gem of a drinking hole and fell in love. There’s no sign out front, so just head to Trees in Deep Ellum and look across the street for an unmarked door. Inside you’ll find a wide array of infused vodkas and whiskeys, including my personal favorite: a vanilla pecan whiskey that is simply to-die-for. Where to find it: 2708 Elm St., Dallas, TX 75226.

The Angelika at Mockingbird Station This indie cinema offers unique flicks, a refreshing change from your average movie theater. It’s a perfect date spot, with lush interiors, great location and comfy seating.

Grab yourself a beer from the bar and your lady a glass of wine up front before heading in. Where to find it: 5321 E. Mockingbird Ln., Dallas, TX 75206.

Double Wide If you’re looking for a change of scenery, this biker-friendly bar serves up live music, a

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Avalon Salon Being a lady, I’ve tried out many salons in my day. This hip salon serves you tea during your trim and even gives you a complimentary hand massage. I go here for facials and full-body massages too. Fellas, I know many guys that frequent this spot, so don’t be afraid. For color, visit my girl Michelle and for a great cut, go to Angela - they’re both amazing. Where to find it: 3699 McKinney Ave., Dallas, TX 75204 (right across the street from Warehaus).

The Bottle Shop Beer nerds, welcome to heaven. This little shop sells and fills growlers (brown jugs that fit about five pints you can refill at the bar) and offers the widest selection of beers I’ve ever seen.

Stephanie, the cute redhead bartender is a wealth of knowledge and can put together a personalized six pack just for you. Where to find it: 2116 Greenville Ave., Dallas, TX 75206.

Fuel City Tacos This rough-around-the-edges taco joint (equipped with a walk-up window) is housed inside a gas station, of all places. The Picadillo and Al Pastor tacos are teeny, but very flavorful, and I love coming here late at night and chowing down outdoors in my Saturday night party dress and heels. Where to find it: 801 S Riverfront Blvd., Dallas, TX 75207.

The Prophet Bar Nestled in the heart of Deep Ellum, this neighborhood bar and venue is one of my favorite spots to check out new music.

Wednesday is soul night, where you can groove to tunes by some of the members of Erkyah Badu’s talented band. If you’re lucky, you might even see her hop onstage for a surprise performance. Where to find it: 2548 Elm St., Dallas, TX 75226.

Amber

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APRIL 2013

get blitzed

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 3