Blitz Weekly

25 Things

We Can All Agree On

DFW APPROVED

*No.14 Mark Cuban should be a saint UFC Beast

Johny “Bigg Rigg” Hendricks

Opens Up

+ We Talk Avengers With Robert Downey, Jr.

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May 2 - 8, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

Your Favorite Publication Has Gone Mobile BLITZ-To-Go

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2012 SATURDAY

9pm

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$100’s Raffles & Prizes!

$3

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May 2 - 8, 2012

3

On Deck

2012 Draft: Defense!

By Keysha Hogan – @TheKeysha

SPORTS NEWS On Deck Bad Boys Bad Boys Vitamins 101 Black Ice Mavs News Meet Johny Hendricks Ranger Report Cover Story 25 Things We Can All Agree On BLITZ Entertainment Melanie Restaurant Review May the Fourth Be With You Don’t Wake Aislin Seven Things in Seven Days Hollywood Shuffle Hollywood Profile Movie Review Auto Review Gadgets Blitz Funnys Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News The CLOSER Celebrate Cinco The Answer Guy 2-Minute Drill

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Patterson Graphic Designer Michael H. Lee Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Art Michael H. Lee Cover Design Michael H. Lee Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors

3 3 4 5 6 7 7 9-11

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ometimes the best defense is actually as simple as getting a better defense. Dallas hasn’t opened the draft by taking four consecutive defenders since 1982. Last season they were 14th in total defense and ranked 23rd against the pass. And we all watched many fourth-quarter leads evaporate before the final whistle. Bringing in contributors to a young, energetic defense was mandatory. Bring in the rookies.

Cornerback Morris Claiborne The strategists in the war room sacrificed a second-round pick to be in prime position to bring LSU cornerback Morris Claiborne on board. We have to applaud Jones and crew for this bold and surprising move. In Claiborne’s two seasons as a starter, he has intercepted 11 passes and

12 13 13 14 14 15 15 15 16 16 17 18 18 18

Staff Writers Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, David Goodspeed, Keysha Hogan, Frank LaCosta, Mateeka Lanee, Mark Miller, Tommy Smith Contributing Photographers Chris Collins, Tyler Garcias, Vaughn Harmon, Sabrina Krilic, William Murphy, Chelsea Oakes, Miran Rijavec, Chris Walsh, Dustin Wax, David Yu, Clyde, Chaos Crew, Cyndie, DFS, HombreDHojalata, Jax40, Lwp K, USDA, WDSMP Contributing Writers Gary Art, Cote Bailey, Arthur Bellfield, Mika Bradford, Scott Free, Martin Iheke, Henry Jenkins, Johnny Reeves, Aeryn Ripley

CONTACT US Phone: 214-529-7370 • FAX: 972-960-8618 Email: kreed@blitzweekly.com

BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com Copyright 2012 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com.

returned them for 274 yards.

My only concern is Claiborne’s score on the Wonderlic Test. The aptitude exam is taken by many professions, as well as all NFL prospects to test intelligence and problem solving. To give you some context, Electrical Engineers average about a 30 on the test. Cashiers score around 21. Cornerbacks in the NFL make about an 18. Claiborne scored a 4. I’m not a fan of standardized tests, but if this was performance anxiety or something else, it should be looked into.

Defensive End Tyrone Crawford It’s obvious that the Cowboys need more production when it comes to the defensive line, especially as a pass rusher. He is notoriously solid

against the run and is able to hurry quarterbacks along. During his two seasons at Boise State, he was able to get 13.5 sacks and although he’s still learning the game he has the potential to be a playmaker.

Outside Linebacker Kyle Wilber Everything I read about Wilber says he’s a hard worker and an overachiever. At Wake Forest he had 13.5 sacks in his 43 games, but also had 35.5 tackles for loss. As a rookie he will probably serve as a situational rusher due to his strength and full understanding of leverage.

Safety Matt Johnson Last year Eastern Washington College held a pro day workout and Johnson made a good impression even after losing a year due to a bicep injury. He ran the 40-yard dash in 4.5 seconds, shows serious athletic ability and has 17 interceptions in college.

Watch for him on special teams, and then evolve into a center fielder.

From the cheap seats it feels like this is a step in the right direction.

Even after the draft was over the team was still working on signing a few dozen free agents.

After seeing offensive guard Ronald Leary in a private workout last month, they were willing to overlook his knee problems and bring him in.

Finally putting defense in the spotlight is going to bring big results for the Cowboys down the line. This year they’ll be able to put the work in and play all four quarters. We can only hope that they expand the session on discipline and penalties during training camp and turn all that untapped potential into results. I have a feeling that this season will be easier on all the Cowboys fans out there. If they start winning games, then the evidence will be clear, and we can stop defending “America’s Team.”

Technical Foul Things aren’t so great for A.I. these days. Former NBA superstar Allen Iverson is in the midst of an increasingly bitter divorce battle with his former soulmate Tawanna Iverson. Tawanna recently filed documents seeking a restraining order against A.I. stating fear for herself Yay, you’re famous!

So your cellmates and her family. will

know

your

name!

Crazy Uncle Walter on: The NFL Draft I remember the draft. It made men out of boys I tell ya. I got a raging VD in ‘Nam from Saigon Sally. Made a man out of me, sure did.

Miss Demeanor Former Miss New Hampshire Nicole Houde, got a shiny new pair of bracelets this past weekend when she was arrested for allegedly biting, kicking, punching, and scratching her boyfriend Scott Nickerson. Houde was charged with simple assault and word is there was no crown or roses waiting for her in central booking.

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May 2 - 8, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

vitamins and minerals 101

Photo Courtesy: Meaduva

Intelligent Nutrition

B

efore you begin taking increased levels of one specific nutrient, be sure you know what basic roles vitamins and minerals play in supporting your everyday health. Many TV and radio shows highlight the function of a specific product however, it’s important to make decisions that are balanced and deliberate when choosing a dietary supplement. Consider starting with a comprehensive multivitamin and then based on your individual needs, physical assessments and blood work determine if additional supplementation of individual nutrients is necessary.

Here is a list of the most common vitamins and minerals, the foods they can be found in and a few of the drugs they can interact with.

Water Soluble

Found in - liver, egg yolks, whole milk, butter and fish liver.

Vitamin D – Actually a pro-hormone that is required for numerous processes within the body such as immune system support, healthy respiratory and thyroid functioning.

Found in – fatty fish, fish liver oils, and eggs.

Vitamin E - Antioxidant, primary function is to protect unsaturated fatty acids. Fatty acids are essential for cellular communication, wound healing, mitochondrial support and lipid membrane repair and integrity.

Found in - plant foods, green leafy vegetables and oils from seeds and nuts.

MINERALS

Vitamin C Antioxidant, readily lends electrons, reduces many oxidizing agents, protects LDL’s (cholesterol) from free radical damage, strengthens collagen produced in wound repair, connective tissue, gum health and reduces bruising.

IRON Necessary for structure of the heme portion of hemoglobin, normal immune function and collagen production. When depleted an iron deficiency can cause fatigue (tiredness), chest pain, shortness of breath along with other symptoms.

Found in - acerola cherries, red chili peppers, green peppers, oranges, broccoli, grapefruit and strawberries.

Found in – kelp, brewer’s yeast, blackstrap molasses, wheat bran, pumpkin seeds, wheat germ and beef liver.

Vitamin B6 - Pyridoxine, used in over 100 enzyme reactions 80 - 90% in the body is in muscle tissue.

MAGNESIUM - Responsible for muscle relaxation, protein synthesis, metabolism of fatty acids, prompts bowel movements, supports energy production and removal of excess ammonia.

Found in - plant foods, like bananas, walnuts, navy beans, sunflower seeds and wheat germ.

Vitamin B12 - Needed for the absorption of iron, supports a healthy nervous system and is important for individuals who are vegans or those with digestive conditions to supplement with.

Found in – foods that come from animal sources and fortified breakfast cereals.

Fat Soluble

Vitamin A - Antioxidant, 80-90% absorbency from oral dose. Important role in maintenance of mucous membranes, skin repair, wound healing, vision, bone growth, cell differentiation, reproduction, and the immune system.

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Mika Bradford CN,CPhT - www.rattleandhumsports.com

Found in – kelp, wheat bran, wheat germ, almonds and cashews.

ZINC - Necessary for many enzyme processes, hormone functions, immune function, wound healing, bone structure and skin oil gland function.

CALCIUM - 95-99% of total body calcium forms matrix for bone tissue. 1-5% is critical in nervous system function, blood clotting and muscle contractions.

Found in - kelp, swiss cheese, cheddar cheese, collard greens, turnip greens, and almonds.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

May 2 - 8, 2012

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Photo Courtesy: Clyde

L

Black Ice

what happens when racism strikes in the nhl?

By Martin Iheke– miheke@gmail.com Robinson did when he broke the color barrier in baseball. Now Ward is doing the same thing although not at the same magnitude O’Ree and Robinson faced.

After O’Ree entered the league, there was not a steady rise of black players in the league.

There have been a few scattered around but not as many as there are in the NFL, NBA or MLB. Though, within the last couple of decades, we have seen more black players in the league which is encouraging. Players like Mike Grier, Anson Carter, Grant Fuhr, Georges Laraque, Kevin Weekes, Peter Worrell and Donald Brashear that have played in the past all come to mind with Fuhr making the Hall of Fame as a goaltender

ast Wednesday, Joel Ward of the Washington Capitals scored the series-winning overtime goal to upset the defending Stanley Cup champion, Boston Bruins, in seven games. It was a great ending to a great game and series.

Unfortunately, some Bruins fans were not kind to Ward after scoring the game-winning goal so they took to Twitter and made racist remarks about him. Not that it should matter, but Ward is black and the percentage of black players in the NHL is not as high as they are in the NFL or NBA. It was rather disgusting to read, but it was cool to see Ward dismiss this and not even worry about it. The NHL and the Bruins quickly condemned it.

“It was the greatest feeling ever after the game, winning Game 7 in Boston. Then you get on the plane afterward, and have all of this come to life…

It just made me sick to my stomach,” said Ward’s teammate Matt Hendricks according to USA Today. “What we accomplished just went out the window. I couldn’t think about that any more. It was very disappointing,” as he continued.

It is unfortunate that in this day in age, we cannot look beyond the color of someone’s skin to see what they are like as a player or person. This was a wonderful moment for the Capitals and the NHL, but was quickly tainted by some ignorant fans. Willie O’Ree was the first black player in the NHL in 1958 playing for you guessed it, the Boston Bruins. He is considered to be the “Jackie Robinson” of his sport because he broke the color barrier in the league. When he played, he faced all sorts of racial slurs from fans to opponents. “All I wanted to do was go out and play hockey and try to represent the hockey club to the best of my ability,” O’Ree said on the 54th anniversary of his breaking the color barrier in the NHL according to Puck Daddy at Yahoo! Sports. “I knew I was a black player playing in the league. I knew I was going to get racial slurs from not only players on the opposition, but fans in the stands, but I didn’t let it bother me.” He followed exactly what

who won four Stanley Cups with the Edmonton Oilers in the 1980s. Today, you have players like Joel Ward, Wayne Simmonds, Jarome Iginla, P.K. Subban, Evander Kane and Dallas Stars own, Trevor Daley, who back in 2003, was subjected to a racist slur from former NHL goaltender John Vanbiesbrouck. Paul Jerrard, who played 10 seasons in the league, is currently one of the Stars assistant coaches. The NHL is progressing in this area and I think they will continue to because it is a great sport and it is open to anybody, regardless of skin color, who wants to play. Willie O’Ree and Joel Ward have the right attitude and that is not to let a bunch of adversaries ruin what you enjoy doing for a living.

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May 2 - 8, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34 Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

Mavs on the outside looking in free throws key to the series

T

he Dallas Mavericks know they have to be careful not to lose this first round series against the Thunder at the free throw line but it’s no easy feat. The Oklahoma City Thunder were No. 1 in the NBA in scoring from the free throw line this season and second in getting to the free throw line. They relentlessly attack the lane and use their speed and athleticism to get the calls. They were even better against Dallas this season, averaging 31 attempts compared to just 19 for the Mavs.

The Mavs’ 99-98 heart breaking loss in Game 1 to the Thunder on a Kevin Durant jumper with 1.4 seconds to go is even more disappointing in retrospect.

Dallas held the Thunder without a free throw attempt in the first quarter and finished the game with a 25-20 edge in free throw attempts and outscoring them by three.

The only quarter that the Thunder shot more free throws than Dallas was in the decisive fourth quarter, 11-10. Even with the edge in attempts, Mavs coach Rick Carlisle barked a bit at the referees during his postgame press conference, saying the Thunder were holding and grabbing Nowitzki with no calls coming.

This trend has been playing out all season where Nowitzki is getting grabbed without a call. While there is a question to why the officials allow so much contact against Dirk, this shouldn’t shock the Mavs that it is occurring.

“They’re going to do things to try to disrupt his rhythm,” Carlisle said. “They’re going to grab and hold. To me, a typical example is the play before the first half ends. He’s getting grabbed and held, and they call a foul on Dirk because he’s just reacting to all the contact.”

Thunder finally closing games out Last year in the Mavs’ Championship run they were able to close crucial games out against the

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

By Geoff Case – @GeoffCase

Thunder in the final minutes of close games. This year, the Thunder have been able to find success while the Mavs commit costly turnovers and fouls.

The Mavericks defense has been playing great down the stretch. Oklahoma City didn’t have a field goal for the final 4:52, but the Thunder pulled out the win with suffocating defense and perfect free throw shooting down the stretch. The Mavs offense went cold again scoring only two points in the final 2:18. A pair of free throws by Kevin Durant gave Oklahoma City the lead for good with 50.4 seconds remaining, and James Harden protected the lead by going 4-of-4 from the line in the final minute.

No Kidding In Game 2, Jason Kidd became the fifth player in NBA history with 1,000 playoff points, rebounds and assists. Kidd, who has career postseason totals of 2,004 points, 1,004 rebounds and 1,227 assists, joined a club that includes Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. Kobe Bryant will be joining him this postseason and is only eight assists away.

West hampered with illness Just when the Mavs thought they were finally over injuries, illness and drama, they arrived at Saturday’s shoot around at Oklahoma City without starting shooting guard Delonte West. He was back in the team hotel battling a stomach bug that had him vomiting Friday night and early Saturday morning. West was in the locker room prior to Game 1 vowing to give “120 percent.”

He pinpointed his ailment on either eating raw oysters before Thursday’s game at Atlanta or something he had on the team plane. He said only briefly did he think about not playing Saturday night. West played exceptionally better in Game 2 and will need to continue to because the Mavericks have no room for error.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

May 2 - 8, 2012 Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

Upcoming Schedule: 5/2 @Blue Jays 11:37 A.m.

5/4 @Indians 6:05 p.m.

5/5 @Indians 6:05 p.m.

5/6 @Indians 12:05 p.m.

5/7 @Orioles 6:05 p.m.

5/8 @Orioles 6:05 p.m.

7

Meet Johny Hendricks UFC’s Braveheart talks shop

S

Rangers Report

Defense doing its part in rangers’ success

A

midst all the outstanding pitching and hitting displayed in April by the Texas Rangers, one aspect of their game that has seemingly gone unnoticed is their improved defense.

After finishing 26th in the major leagues and 12th in the American League in 2011 in fielding, the team has made just eight errors in its first 22 games. That put the Rangers in a tie for second place overall in the league with the Boston Red Sox and behind the New York Yankees.

“We play defense. It is something we expect, something we take pride in,” said Texas Manager Ron Washington, whose team split six games last week. “They work at it every day.”

“We were that good last year but there were some instances where even I felt I needed to try to improve myself,” said starting pitcher Colby Lewis, the lone winner Saturday in a weekend series with Tampa Bay. “We looked to take extra fielding practice in spring training. There was more emphasis on it.”

The good defense is a major reason why the Rangers still lead the American League and share the best record in baseball with the Los Angeles Dodgers at 16-6. Among the gems this past week were by third baseman Adrian Beltre, shortstop Elvis Andrus and two by left fielder

By Mark Miller – mmiller@blitzweekly.com

David Murphy.

Yu Darvish was the week’s pitching star with 10 strikeouts in 8 1/3 innings in a 2-0 win Tuesday over the New York Yankees that helped the Rangers take two of three. Unfortunately they lost their first series of the year and first regularseason series since last August against the Rays.

They did, however, set a team record by selling out all six games.

Indians, Orioles follow Jays After an 8-1 opening road trip, the Rangers left the friendly confines of Rangers Ballpark in Arlington again this week. They were scheduled to finish a series Wednesday afternoon in Toronto before heading to Cleveland for the weekend and Baltimore starting Monday.

Both the Indians and Orioles were off to surprisingly good starts in 2012. Cleveland entered the week leading the American League Central division at 11-9 after taking two of three from the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Designated hitter Travis Haffner has been finding his way on base at a league-leading .450 pace while leading the team with a .295 average. Catcher Carlos Santana and second baseman Jason Kipnis each have three home runs while third baseman Jack Hannahan has 14 runs batted in. On the mound, starter Derek Lowe is 4-1 with a 2.27 earned average while closer Chris Perez has seven saves in his first eight chances.

The Orioles began the week at 14-8 after winning two of three against Oakland. Catcher Matt Wieters and center fielder Adam Jones with six home runs each have led them offensively.

Wieters leads the team with 15 RBI, while Jones is among the league leaders with 12 extra base hits. What’s been more impressive for Baltimore, however, has been its pitching, third in the American League with a 3.21 earned run average. Leading the way has been starter Jason Hammel with a 3-0 record and 1.73 ERA. Jim Johnson has converted all seven save opportunities.

The Orioles feature three former Texas pitchers, Darren O’Day (2-0, 0.82), Tommy Hunter (2-1, 4.26) and Pedro Strop (3-1, 2.08, two saves).

eldom will you find a more humble, gracious, and captivating athlete than Johny “Bigg Rigg” Hendricks. Dedicated to his craft Johny fights for what matters; family, glory, and honor – you know, all the things that modern day gladiators have long forgotten. The future UFC champion sits and talks with Blitz Weekly about life, liberty and the pursuit of the title. If you are not a “Bigg Rigg” fan yet, you will be.

How’d you end up with your nickname?

A guy named Tommy that trains with us noticed that I drive a F-350 with ranch hand bumpers on the back and front of the truck and it’s sort of built like a tank. He was like, “that’s a big truck! It’s like a big rig!” Mark was like “Bigg Rigg” I like that. For about six months they called me “Bigg Rigg” and I didn’t put it on for the Mike Pierce fight and then for the Jon Fitch fight I wasn’t gonna say anything, but Mark said his nickname is Bigg Rigg. They say I hit like a Mack truck. So Mark is always like, “Bigg Rigg hits like a Mack truck!”

Are there any fighters in particular that have influenced your style of fighting? Pretty much everybody. I watch a lot of Anderson Silva’s fights, although my head movements are probably not up to his standards. I watch a lot of Machida as well so I can sort of mimic Machida whenever I spar.

Also Mike Zambidis, who is a really tough kickboxer, a 145 pounder; I try to mimic him and start doing what he does. I try to mimic other fighters and see how it works and what feels right. One day out of every two weeks I’ll combine them to my own style.

Do you remember your UFC debut?

What was it like the first time you stepped in the octagon? It really wasn’t that bad. I’m use to being in front of 17,000 fans and 14,000 of them wanting to see you lose. Being on top of that big stage in college helped because whenever you step into that octagon you can hardly see anybody after the first couple of rows. I was like “dude this is awesome” I was so excited. Mark was like, Johny you’re about to fight, get focused!”

[Laughing] I was like, “I will.” Until the ref says “Johny, are you ready? Let’s fight” I am easy going, laid back and as soon as I hear that word I’m like fun time!

You became the first man ever to finish Jon Fitch. How does that feel?

The good Lord blessed me, you know? That’s really all I can say. Other than that I could sit

PRESENTED by

By Frank LaCosta – flacosta@blitzweekly.com here and say I prepared myself the best I could for three rounds of war. Jon Fitch is a tough fighter, let’s be honest.

I talked about how I wanted a knockout, but that’s just my mentality but did I really think that would happen, no. I thought it would be a three round grind and get a decision. The guy has been hit with some pretty solid punches with a lot of power and the worst he has gotten was rocked; I’ve never saw him just fall straight back. So when I hit him, in my mind I was like “really he’s going down, it’s really happening.”

Everything slowed down.

Where do you see yourself at this point in your career? Still learning and still developing you know I’m a piece of clay and still need some edges to be smoothed over. All I can think about is constantly learning. If I can beat Koscheck that puts me one-step closer to my title and that’s all that matters.

Do you think you’ll get a shot at GSP? Yes, I do.

If you weren’t fighting what do you think you would be doing? Coaching at Oklahoma State.

Do you ever get any comments on your beard? All the time! I shave it after every fight. As soon as I find out I have a fight I start growing it out. I look at myself and I know I have something to work towards because as long as my beard is on my face I know I’m training towards something. And then the night of the fight as soon as it’s over I go back to my hotel room and shave it completely off. I do that because my body and my mind knows that it’s ok to relax now.

Checkout our friend Johny this Saturday on UFC on Fox 3 and follow him on Twitter @JohnyHendricks

The Gym 921 West Mayfield Road Arlington, TX 76015 (817) 652-1555 Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

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VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

25 VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

May 2 - 8, 2012

THINGS WE CAN

ALL

allas No D is not always represented

AGREE ON 2

well on television shows.

No

By The Entire Blitz Weekly Staff - comments@blitzweekly.com

The Metroplex – United we stand as a beacon of enlightenment for all of North Texas and parts of Oklahoma (that may or may not have indoor plumbing) because of our unified greatness. Sure, we may bicker and fuss over things like politics, religion, and Tony Romo’s athletic ability, however, when the chips all fall we are one. We may not see eye to eye on petty matters like if man really walked on the moon or if your head will really explode if you eat Pop Rocks and drink Pepsi at the same time, but at least there are some things that we can all agree on. Enjoy...

4 Our

T e x a s

summer No We need to legalize gambling. Powerball and heat is two degrees bingo just ain’t cuttin’ it.

With thousand of teachers laid off statewide away from we could sure use the added revenue stream.

1

The sacrifice of education to save the budget is like trying to save a sinking boat by throwing the crew overboard. The millions of dollars that go across state lines to Oklahoma could be taxed and provide much needed aid for the War on Education.

9

o N

3

image is still trying to recover from the Oprah deep-fried butter fiasco of ‘09.

If you are not going

unbearable. to party don’t even go downtown during

TX/OU weekend.

No

5

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10

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

No

6

October is the scariest month to be a DFW sports fan.

From the two consecutive World Series heartshattering’s, to the habitual Cowboy’s October meltdown, to last year’s NBA lockout, to Halloween, this has been the month to fear in DFW. At least the Stars started off scary good this past October with eight wins!

25

No

On ree

Thing

Can All Ag e W s

17

No. 12

We finally have useful public transportation.

No. 13

We are still proud of Kelly Clarkson.

HOMETOWN

GIRL!

No. 7

We sure do like our

“Breastaraunts”.

Be it for the breasts, thighs or legs, we sure we sure do like Hooters, Bone Daddy’s, Twin Peaks, Redneck Heaven and Titled Kilt. They make us proud to call Double-DFW home.

No. 18

You have to have an opinion of Jerry Jones.

Don’t swim in the Trinity River.

No.

No. 8

635 sucks…and so does construction traffic on every other DFW highway.

No. 14

Mark Cuban should be canonized as the patron saint of Dallas.

19 Dirk

is the greatest Mav of all-time.

Our notoriously slow highway construction projects have bogged down commuters and brought traffic to a painfully slow pace for years.

Whether you are on 635, 121, 35, 114, or 20 you have felt the wrath of 2pm to 8pm rush hour.

No. 9

We don’t miss Roy Williams…not one bit.

No. 10

Don’t speed in Highland Park. Ever.

No. 11

Dallas is the home

of the wild

cougar.

These 38 and older predators prey upon the young and employment-challenged. Their natural habitat is McKinney Avenue Tavern.

St. Mark of DFW brought a championship to Big D, started the Fallen Patriot Fund to aid the families of soldiers and military personnel who were killed or injured in the Iraq War, and he saved a little institution known as the St. Patrick’s Day Parade on Greenville Avenue.

No. 15

Food trucks are here to stay.

No. 16

Don’t walk through the West End and not have spare change.

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

No. 20 North Texas is becoming a Microbrewery haven.

The Metroplex demands more than just Budweiser, Miller, and Coors. We demand variety! Fraconia, Deep Ellum Brewing, Armadillo Ale, Lakewood, Peticolas, and Rahr & Sons are all helping put taste back into our beer.

o N

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11

No. 22 Derek Holland’s mustache is

awesome.

His ‘stache is now in the realm of Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, Ron Burgundy and dare we say it…Chuck Norris.

Dwaine Caraway is probably still giving away keys to the city.

No. 23

We still miss Megan Henderson on FOX in the mornings.

No. 24

We are the home of the “Six Flags Over Jesus”

mega-church.

Friendship-West, Park Cities Presbyterian, Potter’s House, Concord, Watermark, Prestonwood Baptist, and others make DFW one holy and well decorated place.

No. 25

The Cowboys have to win

now.

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VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

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XbeeZo cWhoi

See more of Melanie and others at Blitzweekly.com Photo Courtesy: Chuck Majors / www.shotbyephoto.com Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Melanie

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13

Jake’s Hamburgers Henderson Right at Home

By Gary Art - comments@blitzweekly.com I wish when I was younger I would have learned that the meaning of life could be found at 2422 North Henderson Ave. All those years I wasted being nice to people and mastering Bikram yoga and the only thing that would truly fulfill my life was resting between a warmly toasted poppy seed bun just waiting for me to joyfully devour. I guess you live and you learn.

THE KILLDARES - SAT JUNE 23 GRANADATHEATER.COM ||| 214-824-9933 ||| 3524 GREENVILLE AVE.

ATMOSPHERE Watch out vegans, carnivore crossing.

As soon as you walk through the door you are hit with the sweet aroma of beef, bacon, French fries, happiness, excitement, and the type of wonderment only cow eating Texans could appreciate (Ok there is a veggie burger on the menu but that’s only because you guys kept crying). The place is absolutely buzzing with patrons salivating at their tables in anticipation of the calorie annihilating goodness that is on the way. Rarely have I seen a restaurant where everyone there is nearly bursting at the seams to order their meal first; one table was actually playing “rock, paper, scissors” to see who was going to order first. I love this place. The patio is always the number one spot of choice for dining, but should you have to sit inside Jake’s has set the place up in an open concept so you don’t feel left out.

FOOD On the eighth day He created Jake’s.

I have had more than my fair share of burgers in life (my waistline can attest to that), they all deserved my attention equally; some were good, some ok, some massive, and some were bold and groundbreaking. I was forced to rethink the way that all burgers should be made after just one bite of my Jake’s burger appropriately named “The Works.” The fresh and warm poppy seed

may the Fourth be with you!

Star Wars Facts and trivia

Jake’s Hamburgers Henderson 2422 North Henderson Ave. Dallas, TX 75206 www.JakesUptown.com

Photos Courtesy: Cyndie

bun was the gatekeeper for the taste of finely seasoned ground beef, crisp and hearty manly bacon, juicy vine ripe tomato, cheese, jalapenos, and oral euphoria of the orgasmic level. I prefer the Jumpin’ Jake’s fries to compliment the flavor extravaganza, but you may be a Sweet Potato Fry, Tater Tots or Beer Battered Onion Rings type of guy – the choice is yours.

SERVICE They were hospitable and fun (just whatever you do don’t ask them for a Big Mac).

BLITZ-Worthy If “Blitz-Worthy” is defined as an amazing place to have a burger so good that you it finds its way into your dreams when you are fighting Captain

Hook on an elephant made of marshmallows when in steps a waitress and says, “here’s your Texas Chili Burger with extra hickory sauce and cheese fries.” If being “Blitz-Worthy” means you would gladly go streaking through the Rangers Ballpark in Arlington if you knew waiting for you when you made bail was a cooked to perfection Mushroom Swiss Burger or a Flaming Rooster (which by the way is the best damn chicken sandwich in the business)…then my friend Jake’s is Blitz-Worthy.

What to eat: Flaming Rooster, The Works, Red Steer, Chicken Fried Steak Sandwich Who eats there: Sports fans, hungry police officers, old-fashioned burger guys, patio lovers

Photo Courtesy: Chris Collins, HombreDHojalata, Miran Rijavec, Chris Walsh, @A.M.P.A.S., Sabrina Krilic

T

he official holiday for Star Wars fans will soon be upon us. It is also commonly referred to as Luke Skywalker Day (although it isn’t an official banking holiday yet).

To help celebrate Metroplex-wide and get your knowledge for Geek Trivia Night at the West End Pub, I thought that I would share some facts and trivia with you. Raise your bottle of Imperial Stout Trooper and toast the film that made modern sci-fi what it is today!

May 4, 1979 – The British beat everyone to it when Margaret Thatcher’s party placed an ad in The London Evening News congratulating her on becoming Britain’s first female Prime Minister

By Henry Jenkins — comments@blitzweekly.com that read: “May the Fourth Be with You, Maggie.

Congratulations.”

May 4, 2011 – The first organized celebration of Star Wars Day took place in Toronto at the Toronto Underground Cinema.

May 25, 2007 – A day to be remembered: The Los Angeles City Council declared the day as Star Wars Day in honor of the May 25, 1977 release of the film.

$4.49 Billion Dollars – Overall box office revenue generated by Star Wars films.

44 – The number of Star Wars characters in the films.

4 – The number of drafts George Lucas went through from 1971 to 1976 before production began on the first film. FYI, the first draft was rejected by Universal Studios.

that the six films have won. They were nominated for 25.

Strategic Defense Intiative (SDI) – A system of lasers and missiles meant to intercept incoming ICBMs proposed by Ronald Reagan was quickly labeled “Star Wars.”

Jediism – A current religious movement based on the spiritual and philosophical ideas of the Jedi.

Organa – Princess Leia’s surname.

(Let’s drink to that!)

10 – The number of Academy Awards Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

14

May 2 - 8, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

DON’t WAKE Aislin ministers of freedom

Photo Courtesy: Dontwakeaislin.com

MateekaLanee’– Lanee’ –Mateekalanee.wordpress.com Mateekalanee.wordpress.com

By Mateela

C

hristian Alt-Rock band Don’t Wake Aislin has come a long way from its beginnings in the churches of Dallas. In 2010, the quintet was honored with a multitude of awards from Myspace.com, including #1 Unsigned Rock Artist and #4 Overall Unsigned Artist across all genres. Their unique brand of rock has brought them much success in the DFW area and beyond, bringing them fans from all over the country. After meeting guitarist Brandon Brown through the MySpace social network, lead singer Deena Jakoub joined the band’s existing ranks, rounding off the group as frontwoman. A few years and several member changes later, Don’t Wake Aislin has created a name for itself in the local music scene, and a connected fan base as well.

The band travels extensively, and Jakoub laments that “maintaining relationships outside of the band” is one of the greatest challenges the group faces. “We have to put our ministry first, but we can’t expect people who aren’t involved in it to understand”. On the subject of the band’s challenges, guitarist Brown says “life just goes on for all people I guess, that’s been a challenge. We know we’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing [but] it’s hard when people are being pulled in another direction.”

Still, it’s the band’s personal relationships with fans that give the group purpose. “It’s important to be approachable,” Jakoub says, and both she and Brown agree that it’s this approachability that reinforces fans’ trust and affection for them. “The music inspires the music, if that makes sense,” Brown explains. “For us, it’s truly about the relationships we have and the power music can have.”

The band uses the power of music and message as a means of

spreading awareness about important social issues. They have joined forces with Eternal Threads, a charity organization dedicated to ending sex trafficking both in the U.S. and abroad, and currently offer red bracelets from the affiliated Red Thread Movement on their website in support, helping to serve former victims living in Nepal.

“We don’t want to be one of those sanctimonious bands trying to get all political,” says Brown, “but these are people’s lives.”

Don’t Wake Aislin is a band who’s all about inspiring others to answer their life’s calling. “God has given us [all] a specific passion

in life,” says Jakoub, and the band’s music and message reflect this belief. They compare their music to ministry, wherein they serve as a platform for spiritual healing and relationship building. Their goal is to create an atmosphere with fans that is open, accepting, and honest, as Jakoub explains: “On the road you meet a lot of people who are broken, and they feel comfortable [around us] because we don’t judge them.” When asked what she hopes people will take from the music, she says, simply, “I hope that they can find freedom”.

Photo Courtesies: Tyler Garcia, DFS, Dustin Wax, David Yu, USDA, Lwp K, Jax40

WED. 5/2

thurs.

5/3

Fri. 5/4

P.L.A.Y. (Positive Living for Active Youth) is hosting one heck of a shindig to raise funds. Come out and enjoy yourself with drinks, music, food, and knowing that you are helping an awesome cause. 7pm.

Check out the band named after hailing a taxi for a dead lady as they belt out their tunes including their newest release Codes and Keys. 7pm.

Viva Dallas Burlesque is showing us how to party on Cinco De Mayo Eve with a Mexico-themed extravaganza – comedy, music, glamor, and just the right amount of skin. 8pm.

cocktails, cheer & charity 2936 Elm St. – Dallas

death cab for cutie McFarlin Auditorium – Dallas

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

cinco de mayo show Lakewood Theater – Dallas

Sat. 5/5

Sun. 5/6

It’s the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Puebla and time to party! Head out to Oak Cliff and have a great time in honor of the red, green, and white. Experience the live music, food, and culture of Mexico. 10am.

What do Tiffany Derry, John Tesar, Matt McCallister and 30 other great chefs have in common? They will all be at this event cooking it up to help benefit Meals on Wheels and Water for Chizavane. 1pm.

cinco de mayo festival oak cliff 600 W. Jefferson Blvd. – Dallas

mixin’ it up on the boulevard Arlington Hall at Lee Park– Dallas

mon.

5/7

bear grylls Verizon Theatre – Grand Prarie

The former Man vs. Wild adventure-junkie is setting out to tame the wildest place on Earth…DFW. Come out and see the nature boy in action as he tries to survive the jungles of Grand Prairie.

8pm.

tues.

5/8

American idiot on broadway Winspear Opera House – Dallas

Be there as Green Day’s rock opera comes to town with an awesome soundtrack that includes “Holiday,” “Boulevard of Broken Dreams,” and “21 Guns.” It’s not quite punkrock, but it’s still cool. 8pm.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

May 2 - 8, 2012

15

HollywoodPROFILE - Robert Downey, Jr.

By Aeryn Ripley– @BlitzWeekly

Deion Sanders - Should change his name to “Prime Crime” after his legal hiccups from last week. The NFL Hall of Famer was issued a ticket for misdemeanor assault after being part of an altercation with his ex-wife to be Pilar Sanders. Deion is adamant that he merely defended himself after being jumped by Pilar and a female friend.

Ryan Seacrest - May be perfect for a starring role if there is ever a sequel to Contagion. Seacrest was suffering through an agonizing stomach virus during a show last week and may have unleashed intestinal fury on anyone in which he came in contact with including J-Lo, Randy, Steven, and a few contestants.

Beyonce - Was named by People as World’s Most Beautiful Woman. The recent mother and megastar said, “I feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt because I have given birth.” Awwwww. Isn’t that precious. Pardon us if we would rather imagine our Beyonce dancing in videos instead of changing diapers.

This is perhaps, by my definition, the perfect storm movie extravaganza. The biggest Marvel super heroes on one screen, in one movie at the same time. I can hardly stand it! The Avengers hits movie theaters this week, and it is one of the most anticipated studio releases of the summer.

Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson, is director of S.H.I.E.L.D, an international peace keeping agency. The agency is a “who’s who” of Marvel Superheroes, with Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow. When global security is threatened by Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his cohorts, Fury and his team will need all their powers to save the world from disaster. I sat down with Robert Downey, Jr. also know as Iron Man to talk about the film and Marvel’s secret to their superhero franchise success.

So how does Tony Stark’s Iron Man come to be part of this super group of crime fighters?

What made the original Iron Man, work so well is that it was plausible, and then we had a bunch of fun doing the second [film]. This time I feel like again speaking of alternate realities there’s a way that Tony can interact with The Avengers because he’s already had hints that this Nick Fury guy is clearly stringing him along.

And your character isn’t really one for sharing the spotlight; so, what makes him decide to join the Avengers team?

I think he’s curious, and it’s hard for him to ingest what’s going on; so, he wants to see it firsthand,

but he’s still himself probably searching. With Roadie, he realized he’s not an island. It’s a partnership, you know, outside of his with Pepper, and this time, I think it’s about that group mind, and that “we” is better than “I.” Speaking of the group, you’ve had very high praise for Mark Ruffalo who plays the Hulk. Ed Norton played the Hulk previously, and this is Mark’s first turn as a super hero. How’d he do?

I’d always thought Mark was the guy to play Bruce Banner because there is something respective and affable about the guy that makes that curse or that opportunity he has, which is not of his doing, his responsibility to manage.

He’s also just a kind of a funny, quirky guy, but he’s a straight shooter, and I think that’s probably the most important thing.

What is it that Marvel does so right that makes these films such huge box office hits?

I think aside from casting the thing what Marvel does best is pick the right directors for their projects. It’s always an exciting announcement, but it also has that extra thing of “Oh, I wouldn’t have necessarily thought that” but retrospectively it makes perfect sense.

foot with various branches of the New York mob after losing a rigged fight. Turns out, he’s also an ex-hitman for the NYPD, and, thanks to the mess-up, he’s now wanted—dead or alive—by both the local government and its underbelly.

Enter Mei, a 12-year-old Beijing math whiz, who has recently been kidnapped and brought to the U.S so the Chinese mob can use her memory as a virtual spreadsheet of their revenue and expenditure. When it’s discovered that she holds in her mind the numbers to safes of incredible value, the Russian mob goes after her, splitting their energies between finding the little girl and Wright as well. Mei, played by relative newcomer Catherine Chan, is

the bravest little girl in the world, hardly flinching as, every time she turns around, someone’s pulling a gun on her or blowing away random bystanders in her face. After coming together by a sort of mischance in a subway station, Mei and Luke set off on an adventure to protect the girl and, well, we’re not really sure what else.

The film fits its genre to a T, but leaves viewers not entirely sure why. The stakes are raised very high over the combinations, busloads of people perish for them, but its hard to narrow down what it is that the mobsters, police, or even Luke Wright really want as a takeaway, and this is where it loses its interest.

With that, what was it like working with director Joss Whedon on this film?

It’s no surprise to anyone that works with him for just a couple of days that he is a profound technician. He’s got some of the same operators and people that work with Spielberg, and even the Buffy series and his other series have been kind of their own thing, but I think what he does is draw on everything he needs to draw on to make it his own.

Will The Avengers have that same action, adventure magic as the individual stories of their super hero super stars?

You can see for yourself when the film opens in theaters this week nationwide.

The movie is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action throughout, and a mild drug reference. And, be sure to come back next week and check out my interview with Samuel L. Jackson!

By Mateeka Lanee’ Mateekalanee.wordpress.com As an early contender in the “summer” movie Rolodex – it’s never too early to start – Safe makes immense carnage its memorable mark on the landscape. Shootouts occur at random moments, in beautiful landscapes, and one can’t help but wonder about the lives of the innocent people, taken or shattered in the process of all the violence. It is, in its defense, well-choreographed violence, but that is something Statham would probably have no other way.

Safe, in all its attempts to be over-the-top and edgy, is good fun and not much more.

MovieReview of “SAFE” is nothing we didn’t see coming Safe has the three essential elements of any box office action hit: 1: a very large budget ($27 million, reportedly); 2: a prodigal child on the run from mobsters; and 3: a tenderhearted tough guy. The film has gained most of its attention from Jason Statham, naturally the tough guy of choice, whose work in the Transporter series has given him wide acclaim for his tense action roles. It is Statham’s typical high-energy moves and cynical one-liners that carry the film from its jumbled beginning to the end. Well, Statham, and a trail of meaningless death.

Safe follows the story of Luke Wright (Statham), a weary cage fighter who gets off on the wrong

By Vivian Fullerlove — vfullerlove@blitzweeky.com

Dallas Polo Club

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C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1 Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

16

May 2 - 8, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

AuTOReview: honda ridgeline sport

Comfortable & rugged

I

seem to be taking delivery of a lot of trucks here lately but I don’t mind one bit as I reside in the No. 1 truck market in the world (a.k.a Texas).

Texans use pickups for much more than just work vehicles. For many families these are the only vehicle as they have become that utilitarian.

And manufacturers have broadened the choices across the pickup lines to meet individual needs of as many buyers as they possibly can. Down here you would think it is the Texas version of the “New Deal” paraphrased to “a pickup in every garage.”

A few years back Honda decided to finally get in the “family-hauler-with-a-cargo-box-attached” game by introducing the Ridgeline – and no sooner than they did a lot of folks I know turned their noses up at it.

“That ain’t no pickup, if it ain’t got a ladder

By David Goodspeed — dgoodspeed@blitzweekly.com

frame underneath and cain’t haul no round bales of hay it ain’t no truck.”

Yes, it really goes like that.

True, Honda has chosen a unibody architecture for their “pickup” model but as so many users never “haul round bales” or ever really even take their vehicles off-road, the automaker chose to instead provide buyers with a comfortable choice that seats up to five and runs rings around suburbia. And to be fair, the Ridgeline does incorporate a closed-box frame into the unit body construction for added strength.

New for 2012 on the Ridgeline line is a Sport model which really only consists of a nice set of rims and blacked-out trim pieces front and rear.

The truck looks good though.

Honda uses its venerable VTEC 3.5-liter V-6 to power this rig generating 250hp and is

backed by a five-speed automatic gearbox, a bit of a rarity these days as most truck makers have gone to six speeds units for fuel economy boost. A transmission cooler is included and the Sport model is rigged with Honda’s VTM 4WD system for added capabilities.

Front and rear independent suspension systems are a tell to sport ute inspiration in the truck and Ridgeline features stabilizer bars both fore and aft as well.

Our Ridgeline Sport tester was very comfortable and stable on the road. We did not have any off-road adventures during our time behind the wheel but feel confident this truck will handle any normal ranch conditions just fine – just don’t tear up those cool rims.

Fuel economy is on par with other pickups on

the market equipped with V-8s: 15-mpg city and 21-mpg highway. This was a bit of a surprise and one Honda should remedy if they wish to ensure future success for the ‘line.

I guess Ridgeline could best be summed up as a Sport Utility Truck as it combines features of both SUV and pickup. And did I mention the cargo box in the bottom of the bed?

Honda’s best-kept secret lies beneath the floor of the pickup bed in the form of a weather-tight, lockable storage compartment that also holds the spare tire. And it even sports drain plugs so owners can use their imaginations as to what to store down there. Ridgeline’s tailgate “sports” a dual-opening feature as it both flips down and swings sideways.

Pricing for the 2012 Honda Ridgeline rigs begin at under 30 grand with our Sport model coming in at $30,805.

Cubik Speakers These compact powerhouse sound machines are the brainchild of Palo Alto Designs. They have 2.5-inch Peerless drivers, all-digital USB connectivity, modern design and pack quite a punch for being such wee little fellows. ($200)

Matias One Keyboard This nifty little keyboard allows you to toggle between typing on your computer and up to two mobile devices by using your USB dock and Bluetooth. It also comes equipped with two USB ports of its own. ($100)

Penveu Let’s take innovative design and imaginative uses, smash them both together and come up with one heck of a cool toy. The Penveu turns any flat surface into an out of this world interactive display. It’s a pen, it’s a mouse, it’s…awesome. ($499) Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Photo Courtesy: Honda Motor Company, Ltd.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?

A: A rebel without a clue!

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?

A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Q: What do you do in case of fallout?

A: Put it back in and take shorter strokes!

The Twins

Murphy

One sunny day in Ireland, two men

May 2 - 8, 2012

17

Blitz Funnys

were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says “You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I’m gonna go over there and talk to him.” So, he goes over to the man and taps him on the shoulder. “Excuse me sir,” he starts, “but I noticed you look just like me!” The second man turns around and says “Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?”, “I’m from Dublin”, second man stunned says, “Me too! What street do you live on?”, “McCarthy street”, second man replies, “Me too! What number is it?” the first man announces, “162”, second man shocked says, “Me too! What are your parent’s names?”, first man replies, “Connor and Shannon”, second man awestruck says, “Mine too!

This is unbelievable!”

A FULL FRONTAL DOWN UNDER The Sydney (Australia) Morning Herald tells of Ravshan “Ronnie” Usmanov, 20, who took totally nude photos of his girlfriend. She (her name withheld), later remembered joking, “Hey, this is my ticket to Facebook humiliation!”

And, sure enough, when she ended their relationship three months later, that’s exactly what happened. For this, Usmanov got six months house arrest, making him the first social networkrelated “convict” in Australian history.

So, they buy some more Guinness and they’re talking some more when the bartenders change shifts. The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks “What’s new today?” “Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again.”

22, 2012, 8:53 a.m., Kevin Johnson, 37, called police. In his complaint, Johnson said he was sleeping while the plane taxied, when “rudely interrupted” by a flight attendant tapping on his knee with a magazine. Officer Ricky Seconds wrote that Johnson “had no physical signs of injury, no complaint of pain and no paralysis from the magazine.”

SHE THROWS A PASS As of April 24, 2012, an attractive young woman, calling herself “Mrs. Irrelevant,” appears in a YouTube video proclaiming, “I’ve got this place in my heart for the humiliated, the neglected, the last pick on the playground kind of guy...” Next she offers her body to the last pick of the NFL Draft, saying, “Whoever is this year’s Mr. Irrelevant is going to have himself a night... alone... with me.” (She then air-kisses the camera.)

WAS HIS KNEE ON THE COVER? After landing on a chartered Million Air flight at Indianapolis Airport, April

Taurus April 20 – May 20 Your birthday this week will be one for the ages. Ages 9-12 to be specific and the party will be held at Penny Whistle Park!

Leo July 23 – August 22 Wearing your Capt. Save-A-Ho outfit complete with a cape won’t score you any points with the ladies Friday night at The Avengers screening!

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 No matter how hard you try to heed the advice of your horrorscope you’re doomed to fail. You can still try to avoid breathing anyway.

Gemini May 21 – June 21 You, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton have one thing in common. So why aren’t you famous?

Virgo August 23 – September 22 The World Pizza Games just occurred and your “Pizza Face” impersonation took gold.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 Your rapier of wit has become quite dull.

Cancer June 22 – July 22 Trying to pay for your cab ride from Deep Ellum with cannabis won’t be one of your brighter moves.

Libra September 23 – October 22 There might be more than one way to skin a cat, but it helps if you don’t do it in front of small children at McDonald’s.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 You will not be issued a new horrorscope until you complete the ones from April given to you successfully.

ACROSS: 1. Garbage 6. Phone 10. Leisure 14. Licoricelike flavor 15. Murres 16. Plant fiber 17. Pertaining to the Sun 18. Goulash 19. Dossier 20. Nationalism 22. Not under 23. God of love 24. Apprehend 26. “Oh my!”

30. Doctor’s group 31. Excluding 32. Exuviate 33. Care for 35. Extreme happiness 39. Whole number 41. Gist 43. Ancient Greek marketplace 44. Foot covering

46. Stigma 47. And so forth 49. Enemy 50. Satisfy 51. Polished 54. Fuss 56. Legal wrong 57. Impossible to satisfy 63. Jittery 64. A set of garments 65. Coach 66. Jump 67. Cocoyam 68. Requested 69. Feudal worker 70. Lascivious look 71. Requires

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Your misinterpretation of “Sweet Caroline” will lead to a delicious dessert and one missing body.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 There might be “25 Things We All Agree On” but your choice of a suitable mate isn’t one of them.

Aries March 21 – April 19 You, a chainsaw and a bloody mess will meet this weekend when you try to finish that spring-cleaning project..

DOWN: 1. Stinging insect 2. Dwarf buffalo 3. Sediment 4. Russian emperor 5. Creepy 6. Clients 7. Craftsperson 8. Untruths 9. Law officer 10. Easy 11. Not dead 12. The general activity of selling 13. Put forth, as effort 21. Give a speech 25. Steals 26. Dogfish 27. Not short 28. Countertenor 29. Mental representation 34. Interior designer 36. Ancient Peruvian 37. Leave in a hurry 38. Arid

40. General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade 42. Shooting sport 45. An infraction in some sports 48. Carpentry tool 51. Inscribed pillar 52. Ways 53. Keyboard instrument 55. Moon of Saturn 58. Naked 59. Backside 60. Cook in an oven 61. Misled 62. Terminates

Solution on Page 18 Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

18

May 2 - 8, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

The CLOSER

Cinco de Mayo Edition - Where to Party!

Irish I was Mexican Where: McFaddens Addison Why: Mariachi Band, $3 Coronas, $4 Margaritas, $250 Cash Dance Completion Prize Cinco de Mayo at the Finn Where: BlackFinn Addison Why: $100 Raffles, $3 Jose Cuervo Dos XX, $6 All You Can Eat Tacos

Dear Arthur,

The

Answer

Guy with

Arthur Bellfield

Cino de May at Duke’s Where: Duke’s Original Roadhouse Addison Why: $2.50 Select Mexican Cerveza, Live Mariachis, Tortilla Tossing, Happy Hour Till 8pm Cinco de Mayo Party Where: Wild Salsa Why: Live Music, Food & Drink Specials, Raffles Viva La Cinco Where: Viva La Vida Supper Club Why: Soft Opening, Food & Drink Specials

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

I recently met a guy and we seem to be genuinely hitting it off so to speak. So, one day while at his apartment I noticed he collects action figures, comics, and even has MAD magazines next to his toilet. Is this a sign that he is an over grown kid and I should head for the hills or am I reading too much into it?

Darrell Faircloth

— Signed, Confused Amber

Why start the North Texas Beer Festival?

Why not? I’ve enjoyed beer since childhood and fell in love with the stuff while in Europe (Oktoberfest Munchen in ’97 to be exact). A good friend and avid home brewer suggested I organized this event three years ago. I gave it 18 months, no one else did it, so I did. The first one was challenging and it didn’t take long to figure out why no one else had done it before but we had a great event and are looking forward to an even better one this year.

What was life like before NTBF? Calm, serene and peaceful. Those days are over. Now my phone doesn’t stop ringing, I get 200 emails a day and from some very interesting characters. I had a guy call yesterday wanting to bring a tank with live sharks to the event for the small fee of $18,000. Every time I think I’ve heard it all, I realize I haven’t.

If you could sit back and enjoy a cold one with anyone in the world who would it be?

Hmm… I’m hoping my wife doesn’t read this but I would have to go with Hugh Hefner. I’ve been a big fan of his work for many years. Anyone with a grotto can’t be all bad. The most interesting man in the world looks like he would be fun to hang out with too.

If we look in the trunk of your car right now what would we find?

Promo pieces, swag, some more promo pieces… did I mention promo pieces? There’s a bunch of them in there. My car is riding on the axles right now. I feel like I’m pulling a boat. I’m looking forward to it driving normally again.

The one song that sums up your life thus far…

WOW- just one huh? That’s a tough one- “Crazy Train,” “Highway to Hell” and a dozen others come to mind but let’s go with “Right Now” by Van Halen - even though it’s not my favorite VH song, that wasn’t the question.

Who would win a fight between a ninja and a pirate?

Ninja please! The ninja of course. I’d give 100-1 odds on that smackdown

One beer that fits all occasions…

I would have to go with the Franconia Koelsch.

It pairs well with just about anything. I like their Maibock too but it’s not available year round and in pretty limited production. I think they’re only making 35 barrels of it this year so get it while you can. We’ll have some at the beer festival- nudge, nudge, say no more.

ton it’s that there is a ught us anything, ta s ha n gi ir V ve him ten 40-Year-Old y is a collector gi gu is If the movie The th if , So ! cs mi first n figures and co For example, the of money in actio potential millions. on g tin sit be 00 in 2010! d he could sold for $1,075,5 to twenty years an 27 ue iss cs mi Co tman in Detective appearance of Ba ? those apples How do you like . Transformers playing G.I. Joe vs or flo e th on g tin guy of yours isn’t sit Let’s just hope this in the meantime. nal paranoia. usion and emotio nf co of te sta ur yo nce I can understand been my experie Having said that eakdowns. It has br s hip ns tio la he re nce Coac s. sed by past out Life and Roma This could be cau ek se to le op pe d g ities are what lea agencies overseein that these insecur deral government fe no y ntl rre cu ing e br ys. I arch there ar st three to four da Based on my rese g schools only la hin ac co when life st ur ct, mo ional insec ities this industry. In fa o your own emot int ed fe to u yo one to fix you. don’t want nd and pay some this up because I ou ar n tur to t us tion! al relationships j ’s mental prostitu it comes to potenti be an option, that r ve ne ld ou sh a even if guy to “fix you” n it comes to men, Paying someone he w cts tin ins d own judgments an Learn to trust your es lying around. a few action figur happens to have

How You Know Him: Founder and owner of North Texas Beer Festival (please hold applause until the end of the intro). The epitome of style and grace; so elegant and full of class [wait… this is the copy for Heidi Klum]. This guy loves beer, Van Halen, and ninjas…we friggin’ love this guy!

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 34

May 2 - 8, 2012

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