Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

Score Great Deals at Hooters! See store for othe game day specials r !

ALL YOU CAN EAT T BONELESS WINGS only $10.99 every Monday beginning at 6pm

$3.75 Domestic Big Daddy Drafts Monday-Friday, Open til Close & Saturday-Sunday, 11am-6pm

14 DFW Area Locations

VISIt US OnLIne at www.bLItzweekLy.cOm

@ Hooters Texas

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

n OD eck

By Keysha Hogan – @TheKeysha

DFW’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

C SPORTS NEWS On deck Out of Left Field SEC preview SMU preview UNT preview Hometown Meltdowns Jerry’s World UFC 153 preview COVER STORY TX/OU BarSEEN Arrest Etiquette BLITZ ENTERTAINMENT Svetlana Alexis 2012 TX/OU preview red river rivalry 101 Top 5 Albums right Now Hollywood profile Movie review dirk in Germany The Crave page BLITZ FUNNYS Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News THE CLOSER pocketful of peens The Answer Guy

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Patterson Creative Director Michael H. Lee Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Design Darryl Briggs/Michael H. Lee Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Chuck Majors

3 4 5 5 5 6 7 8 11 11 12 13 14 16 18 18 19 20

’mon, be honest…are you ok? Between the abrupt ending to the Rangers’ season, watching the Cowboys collapse on Monday Night Football, and the lockout cancellation of Dallas Stars’ games, this has been a tough week for local sports fans. So, in the spirit of moving forward and not stress-eating our favorite stadium foods, let’s step back from the ledge and let’s look these epic fails in face. Monday Night Football Let’s just be grateful for this bye week. There is no way that any of you are ready to face the inconsistent play of the Cowboys after last week’s manhandling. Chicago’s defense applied relentless pressure on Romo and each of those interceptions was like a kick in the gut. The mental game seems to have improved with Tony Romo, but Dez Bryant was in the middle of his trial by fire and it wasn’t pretty. However, I do hope you noticed the 13 passes, 112 yards and 1 touchdown that Witten delivered. He may be the key to creating a standard of consistency that this team is desperate for.

postponed Hockey The NHL threw down the gauntlet last week and officially cancelled 82 games from October 11th – October 24th. Usually a lockout is the final last stand during negotiations,

of recruiting scab players in November. Was nothing learned from the NFL replacement ref fiasco? Brutal fights are a part of the game, but there will certainly be some amateurs willing to put someone in intensive care, if it means capturing nationwide attention. 2012 rangers Everyone felt that this would be a “Third time’s the charm” for this year’s team. Instead, fans are consoling each other and packing away their claws and antlers for next season. This loss was devastating and wasn’t close to demonstrating the greatness from the last two years. I’m sick over Josh Hamilton’s fate, and Mike Napoli, Mike Adams and Roy Oswalt are joining him in free agency. This off-season will be more reassessment than rebuilding, but there is no way that I’m lowering my expectations of this franchise.

FREE BUZZTIME TRIVIA & QB1

NEW HOURS MONDAY - THURSDAY 3PM - 2AM FRIDAY - SUNDAY 11AM - 2AM HAPPY HOUR MON-FRI 4-7PM SAT-SUN 11-7PM LATE NITE KITCHEN 1801 N. LAMAR, DALLAS, TEXAS 214-748-5711 westendpubdallas.net

In psychology, there are studies claiming that depressed people can face insurmountable sadness with relative ease, because by their nature, they expect bad things to happen. And after 17 years without a Superbowl win, 13 years past our only Stanley Cup win, and two World Series’ teasers it’s getting easier to expect the worst. But this is the time where we must reject the negative thoughts and find some brute force optimism to get through this dismal

Dallas Polo Club

PARTAKE IN THE SPORT OF KINGS!

22 22

Staff Writers Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, David Goodspeed, Ethan Harmon, Keysha Hogan, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller Contributing Photographers

Jonah Gilmore, Derek T. Green, Grook Da Oger, James D. Smith, Dave Wilson, Joy Zhang Contributing Writers Arthur Bellﬁeld, Jay Betsill, Chuck Cipione, Steven Doyle, Stephen Evans, Jan Hubbard, Posie Pockets, Zachary Walker, Blake Zipoy

BLITZ Weekly

but in this case it seems it’s the owner’s opening move. In the midst of the gridlock the Dallas Stars have already lost forward Jamie Benn to a German Hockey League. And now our Canadian neighbors to the north are floating the idea

seas o n . So here’s a little good news: The Dallas Mavericks squeaked out an 89-84 win over Alba Berlin in a German exhibition game. (At least it’s a win!)

EVERYBODY IS INVITED

NEXT MATCH

10/27 - NOON - CALL TODAY!

SCARE POLO & PUMPKIN CARVE BYOPumpkin WWW.DALLASPOLOCLUB.ORG

C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1

uncle walter on

Texas/OU Weekend

It’s more like mommy and daddy’s big ol’ bank account against the Dallas Police Department and the fine folks at Lew Sterrett! Don’t drop the soap!

P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com Copyright 2012 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the ofﬁce at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com.

FOLLOw bLItz weekLy On twItter and FacebOOk

October 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

By Mark Miller – mmiller@blitzweekly.com

It was a week to forget

omething seemed terribly wrong when the Oakland Athletics and Detroit Tigers were on MLB-TV on Sunday afternoon and the Baltimore Orioles faced the New York Yankees on TBS that night. It should have been the Texas Rangers playing in one of those games. After coming within one strike twice of winning the 2011 World Series, fate certainly should have allowed them one more chance at their coveted dream. All they needed to do was win just one of their four October games. Do it in Oakland and they’d be the American League West champions. Do even better and they might just be the best in the American League. Either scenario would keep them from the dreaded one-game wild card playoff. Unfortunately the Rangers lost all three games in Northern California but did earn the consolation prize of hosting the wild card game last Friday. Too bad they continued to play like the previous two weeks in losing to the Baltimore Orioles. That meant there would be no chance to win their third straight A.L. pennant. There would be no opportunity to avenge what happened last year. There would, however, be a stunned Rangers Republic starting with their players. “It hasn’t sunk in that there’s no more games,” said pitcher Yu Darvish, who gave up just five hits while walking none and striking out seven in the 5-1 loss. “Honestly not me, my teammates and the Rangers fans thought it would end this early. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do tomorrow.” After two consecutive years in the World Series, it’s likely Texas fans didn’t know what to do either this past weekend. They expected to be at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington cheering on their favorite players. They expected another trip to the World Series. So exactly what happened to the Rangers? “We just didn’t get it done,” said manager Ron Washington. “It came down to executing against

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

good pitching. Fundamentally we tried we just couldn’t get it done and it came back to haunt us.” The Rangers should have immediately known it wasn’t their night starting with game’s first pitch. That’s when second baseman Ian Kinsler booted Nate McLouth’s ground ball which led to the game’s first run. When Kinsler walked to lead off the bottom of the inning and Elvis Andrus singled him to third, it seemed like the Rangers of old, the ones who led their division all but three days in 2012. Even though Kinsler scored, when Josh Hamilton ground into a double play, it was a reminder of the team that ended up losing eight of its final 10 games. While the game remained tied through five innings, an uneasiness fell upon Rangers Ballpark in Arlington. The Rangers had runners on base in every inning but three double plays snatched away any momentum. It seemed inevitable Baltimore would be the one to break through. The Orioles did just that in the sixth on two singles and a sacrifice fly. They scratched out another run in the seventh with the help of a wild pitch by Derek Holland, brought in to face McLouth, who singled in the run. “You make moves and if the players get it done, great move,” Washington said. “If the players don’t get it done, you’re left open. I’m left open.” Had the Rangers gotten it done that night or any other last week, they’d still be playing. “I never thought anything like this would happen,” Washington said. “I was very positive after we played Anaheim and went to Oakland, I was very positive. A few situations the ball bounce our way here or there it may have changed. “I’m not a negative person. I don’t get pessimistic. I always stay optimistic. And when things like this happen, I’m shocked. Right now I’m shocked. That’s the way winners feel and I’m a winner. I won’t go any further but we’re winners and I’m a winner.”

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 october 10 - 16, 2012

North Texas Mustangs Mean Green

SMU SEC Game of the Week By Stephen Evans – comments@blitzweekly.com

The Ol’ Ball Coach at it Again

as the SEC found its next national championship contender? If the South Carolina Gamecocks have any say in it, the conference that has won six consecutive BCS titles could have a surprise challenger for No. 7. But, in order to finish that improbable run, there still remains much work to do, and that begins this weekend against a stunned group of LSU Tigers. South Carolina proved its mettle with an impressive 35-7 shellacking of then-No. 5 Georgia last weekend, pounding the Bulldogs with a relentless ground game and a smothering defense. The victory propelled the Gamecocks to a No. 3 national ranking and placed them squarely in the national championship race. But championships are not won in October, and the Gamecocks are in the midst of the SEC gauntlet. For the second consecutive week, South Carolina faces a top-10 team, this time on the road in Baton Rouge (and next weekend South Carolina takes on the fourthranked Florida Gators). But this is not your typical team of Gamecocks, who will arrive

Frank LaCosta – flacosta@blitzweekly.com

Time to Run Wild

It’s La-La Time

MU improved to 2-3 on the season and won their conference opener against UTEP this past Saturday. The defense held UTEP scoreless which means that SMU is 2-0 this season when shutting out their opponent. Linebacker Ja’Gared Davis provided the fireworks when he returned an interception 30 yards for a touchdown towards the end of the first half. The TD extended SMU’s lead to 17-0. That would be it for the night as both teams failed to score in the second half. The Mustang defense forced three turnovers in the game and provided enough momentum for the victory. The play of SMU QB Garrett Gilbert is still under the microscope. He went 22 of 44 for 234 yards with a TD and an interception. He is still making questionable throws that must be giving head coach June Jones fits. RB Zach Line had 25

Photo Courtesy: Joe Lorenzini

Photo Courtesy: Joseph Dowling

Photo Courtesy: Ian McCor

at Tiger Stadium with the nation’s secondrated passer in Connor Shaw and one of the top-rated defenses in the land (4th nationally in scoring defense, 11th in total defense). Their lofty No. 3 national ranking is also rarified air for the Gamecocks, marking their highest ranking since 1984. In order for South Carolina to firmly entrench itself as a national title contender, it must knock off the LSU Tigers, who played that role a season ago before falling to Alabama in the national championship game. LSU is coming off if its first regular season loss since the 2010 season after Florida snapped its NCAA-best 18-game regular season winning streak with a 14-6 victory last weekend in The Swamp. With the Tigers backed into a corner, South Carolina will have to rely on its attacking pass rush and ball hawking secondary to try to keep the struggling LSU offense unhinged. Saturday’s matchup will mark the first time in the 19-game series history that the Gamecocks enter the game ranked higher than LSU in the AP Top 25. Now they will try to permanently replace the Tigers as the SEC’s “other” national championship contender this season. Game Info: #3 SOUTH CAROLINA vs #9 LSU SAT. OCT. 13 - 7PM / ESPN TIGER STADIUM

he Mean Green went down to Houston last Saturday and immediately fell behind the Cougars. They were in for a long day when Houston RB Charles Sims ran in for a TD from five yards out with a little over a minute having run off the clock. By

carries for 84 yards but didn’t find the end zone. Line’s stats will improve once opposing defenses fear the pass. Darius Johnson led the receivers in performance by hauling in five catches for 82 yards and a TD. His counterpart, Jeremy Johnson was equally effective catching eight passes for 76 yards. The offense will have another chance to improve and build confidence when they take on Tulane. The Green Wave have lost 15 in a row and are horrible. The Green Wave are fighting an uphill battle nearly every time the ball is kicked off. They are statistically near the bottom of every category. They give up a lot of yards through the air and on the ground. They don’t put up a lot of points but do give up a ton. This isn’t a formula for success. D.J. Ponder is the signal caller who throws more interceptions than touchdowns and can’t run. RB Robert Kelley will get most of the carries but isn’t effective due to a weak offensive line. Justyn Shackleford is becoming the main target for passes and has improved significantly over the last two weeks. Look for SMU to win easily. Tulane just doesn’t have the players or the schemes to pull off a victory. Game Info: SMU vs TULANE SAT. OCT. 13 – NOON Mercedes-Benz Superdome

the end of the first quarter North Texas was down 17-0. During the second quarter the two teams exchanged a pair of touchdowns. North Texas would score first in the third quarter to pull with 10 points making the game 31-21 in favor of Houston. From there the Cougars would tack on 13 more unanswered points. The final result being a 44-21 loss for UNT. North Texas is now 1-1 in the Sun Belt Conference and 2-4 overall. They are at the halfway point in the season and there haven’t been many positives to reflect on. There is a saying in football, “Coaches coach and players play”. Coach McCarney has plenty of experience on his side of the ledger. He still has time to turn this season around and start heading in the right direction. He’ll have to dig deep to make this happen. The players on the other hand simply aren’t executing. QB Derek Thompson is in his second season with the current offensive coordinator and at times has performed well. However with two interceptions last Saturday he’s starting to force the ball at times. He needs better protection from the offensive line. Brandin Byrd still hasn’t filled the shoes of Lance Dunbar but receives the bulk of the carries at running back. WR Brelan Chancellor has the speed and the moves, but when defenses shut him down the other wide outs need to step up. The defense is a mess. They simply aren’t making plays or creating enough turnovers. Next up is Louisiana-Lafayette with a 4-1 record. Their lone loss is to Oklahoma State. The game is a Tuesday night ESPN2 special in Denton. Terrance Broadway has emerged as the starting QB due to Blaine Gautier breaking his throwing hand a couple of weeks ago. They are a well balanced team on offense incorporating six different receivers. Look for RB Alonzo Harris to carry the load on the ground and put up big numbers. Game Info: LA-LA vs UNT TUE. OCT. 16 – 8PM / ESPN2 APOGEE STADIUM

Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

October 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5

Local Teams Disappoint Rangers Couldn’t “Claw” Their Way Back By Zachary Walker - @zachwalkerdb7

he optimism before the game was like the weather hovering above the ballpark, cold, gloomy and gray. And as it would turn out, that’s how the game would be. The fans weren’t their usual expressive selves, partly because they were huddling close together at a 60 degree stadium, but mostly because of the way the team fell into the game. The decision to start Michael Young at first base, and not at DH, will be a definite topic of discussion going into the offseason. Yu Darvish pitched a very

Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

solid game, but with the lack of run support, any men on base deep into a one game playoff will make a manager go to the bullpen. Not bringing in left-handed reliever Robbie Ross, but instead giving the game over to Derek Holland, proved to be another error. All wouldn’t really bother me as much as Josh Hamilton’s at-bats did. The usual power swinging Hamilton went 0 for 4, including a touch of the ball that barely made it to the pitcher, who got the easy out. The fans, as the fielding was being announced in the ninth inning, laid into Hamilton with overwhelming boos. With each run scored against Joe Nathan, thousands filed out of the stadium leaving behind just diehards, true believers in the spirit of the rally and lots of empty beer bottles. Things got edgy in the bottom of the ninth, as Cruz followed by Napoli then a pinch-hit by Jurickson Profar set up a game tying grand slam opportunity for David Murphy. As contact was made the hopes of returning to the World Series for a third straight time snapped shut in the glove of left fielder Nate McLouth. A tip of the cap to the contract makers for not overreacting to Hamilton’s strong start with a contract that would handcuff the Rangers to a player who seemingly packed it in for parts of the season. Trust me, if he’ll say it’ll leave a bad taste in his mouth, if his last memories will be remembering the boos, we’ll remember the dropped ball in Oakland and the 0 for 4 finish. Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Cowboys Need a Changing of the Guard It’s only the first quarter of the season, and it’s perfectly clear that there is a problem. When you are, what the Cowboys are, and that is a team that has every eye on them at all times and such an expansive fan base, that when fingers start to get pointed, they always get pointed at the wrong people and for the wrong reasons. Easy to blame Romo for the picks in the Chicago game. But it starts with the offensive line, which is appropriately named. Doug Free has been bad, Nate Livings not much better than him. Ryan Cook, is like leftovers that you eat because you NEED to eat. Tyron Smith has struggled at left tackle, sure he gets credit for being the best we have, but being the best player on a terrible line gets you bundled with this bad pile. But the worst on the line by far, is Mackenzy Bernadeau. He is directly responsible for the Lance Briggs pick six. He isn’t getting any push in the run game. They say the first step to fixing a problem, is admitting there is one. I’m a fan of Jerry Jones, but this position must get fixed, and the time is now. The team is coming off the bye week, and you have a player within the organization to make the switch. The first player the Cowboys contacted after this year’s NFL Draft back in April, was Ronald Leary. A big bear of a man, and the reason he wasn’t drafted is because of a degenerative disease in his knee, that doesn’t hamper his play but limits his career to around seven years. The Cowboys gave him the maximum signing bonus because they liked him so much. If Jerry Jones believes the window is closing, why not give the player whose window will also close early. Hey, it’s worth a shot. If you switch now, he might be game ready by Baltimore, or at least Carolina. Given the current state of the team, how can it be worse?

Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 october 10 - 16, 2012

Photo Courtesy: James D. Smith

By Jay Betsill – @thefamousjay

Cowboys Prepare for a Tough Stretch

ollowing one of the ugliest losses in recent Cowboys memory -- the 34-18, five interception debacle against the Chicago Bears on Monday Night Football at Cowboys Stadium -- Dallas had its bye week to go over everything that went wrong and see if there were any answers on this roster to their laundry list of problems as they hit the quarter-season mark. After a convincing win over the defending Super Bowl champion New York Giants to kick off the season, the Cowboys were unable to overcome early special teams gaffes and managed only one touchdown in a 27-7 meltdown loss against the Seattle Seahawks and their rookie quarterback Russell Wilson. The home opener against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers saw the Cowboys escape with a 16-10 victory that was aided by the replacement referees blowing a play dead when Tony Romo fumbled and the recovery by Tampa Bay’s Eric Wright was returned for a touchdown. In a league full of parity that includes a few good teams, a few bad teams and a plethora of 8-8 teams, the loss to the Bears has many NFL insiders and Cowboys fans alike questioning if Dallas simply has too many issues to be able rebound or if it was a case of a week where everything that could go wrong did go wrong. If the first four games were pretty challenging for Dallas, the next five are bordering on horrific. Judging by what the Cowboys have shown, it is hard to see them going any better than 3-2 and more than likely going 2-3. Four of the five are on the road (Baltimore, Carolina, Atlanta and Philadelphia) sandwiching a home game against the Giants who have never lost at Cowboys Stadium. With four of the five contests also being against NFC teams that are also battling for playoff spots, the next five weeks will go along way to showing what type of team the Cowboys are this season. Next up for the Cowboys is a trip to M&T Bank Stadium to battle the Baltimore Ravens. The

Ravens defense has become legendary over the past decade as it has carried them to countless victories, playoff appearances and a Super Bowl title. This season has been a change of pace as the Ravens had the NFL’s second-ranked offense through the first four weeks of the season, but it sputtered against the Kansas City Chiefs defense last week. Baltimore had to settle for three field goals by Justin Tucker that turned out to be enough due in large part to the dominating performance by Ray Lewis, Ed Reed and the rest of the Ravens defense. They shut down running back Jamaal Charles and the rest of the Chiefs’ offense in the second half, and made a big fourth-quarter stand to depart Kansas City with a 9-6 victory. Charles had 140 yards rushing, but only 15 in the second half. Chiefs quarterback Matt Cassell threw for 92 yards, with two interceptions and two lost fumbles before leaving in the fourth quarter with what was reported as a head injury. “This game is as hard as it gets,” Lewis said. “We knew the kind of game we were going to get out of these guys. We knew it would be a tough sled. For us to come in and just keep fighting, keep fighting, keep fighting, that’s the one thing we talked about…Today was a big win for us.” Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco had an off day as he threw for 187 yards with an interception while getting sacked four times. With offensive tackles Michael Oher and Kelechi Osemele having trouble with speed rushers on the outside against Kansas City, look for Dallas linebacker DeMarcus Ware to get pressure on Flacco. “Games like this last year, we had a hard time winning,” said running back Ray Rice, who rushed 17 times for 102 yards. “But right now, with our veteran leadership, we’re finding ways to win. Obviously, this one felt good. We learned from our situation.”

Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

ufc 153 preview By Frank LaCosta – flacosta@blitzweekly.com

Silva vs. Bonnar Anderson “The Spider” Silva (30-4-0) vs. Stephan “American psycho” Bonnar (17-7-0)

s the middleweight division so thin that Silva has to move up to 205? Well, I don’t know if it’s that thin but Silva has cleaned it out. Bonnar will be quite a bit larger than Silva as he is a big light heavyweight and Silva is a middleweight. That will be the only advantage that Bonnar has. This is nothing new to Silva as this is his third fight at 205 in the UFC. Silva has not lost since 2006 and I don’t see it happening here. Bonnar is as tough as they come, but so was Forest Griffin when Silva knocked him out at UFC 101. Silva will stroll into the cage wearing his grape smugglers, dance around for a round and taunt Bonnar a little. In the second round, he will actually engage and drop Bonnar and proceed to ground and pound him to a TKO stoppage. Minotauro Nogueira (33-7-1) vs. dave Herman (21-4-0) This will be Big Nog’s first fight back since Frank Mir tore his arm off last year. Usually this would be a mismatch but cage rust could be an issue.

This fight will come down to the classic “striker vs. grappler” situation. Teixeira has a world class ground game and Maldonado has quite a bit of professional boxing experience including 21 KO’s! Teixeira has had some success with stand up throughout his career and has proven to be a competent and capable striker but he really doesn’t want to try that here. Maldonado has very heavy hands and has been known to take one on the chin and keep going strong. The key for victory is for Teixeira to get the fight to the ground without taking too much damage and work the submission game. Maldonado

Photo Courtesy: Grook Da Oger

Herman is young and explosive and we don’t really know how Nog will be. Nog has great boxing and a great ground game. Herman has good wrestling and is an explosive striker that loves to bang and will throw a lot of wild and unorthodox combos. Herman will start strong and give Big Nog a beating. If Nog can weather the storm he will have a chance to comeback and win as he has done many times before. I just don’t see this as a very easy comeback fight for him. Pee Wee by TKO in the second. Glover Teixeira (18-2-0) Maldonado (18-5-0)

PRESENTED BY VISIt US OnLIne at www.bLItzweekLy.cOm

vs.

Fabio

Photo Courtesy: www.fightlaunch.com

will obviously want to put one on the button of Teixeira and end the fight with strikes. I call Teixeira by sub in the third round.

THE GYM 921 West Mayfield Road Arlington, TX 76015 (817) 652-1555

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 october 10 - 16, 2012

Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

RICK FAIRLESSÂ´ STROKERS DALLAS PRESENTS

"!2%,9 ,%'!, TH ANNIVERSARY BASH OCTOBER

4(523 HELLGOAT PM 0 %842%-% -)$'%T 72%34,).' FRI SIGNAL PM

PM WET T SHIRT CONTEST RELL GUITAR DIMEBAG DAR GET YOUR TICKTS TO WIN VINNIE PAUL DRUM HEAD

IACS PM SAT ADRIANNA 0- MAVDE MR AN GZ !- - POW INNKE 0 TH SON ER ANNOUNCED DIMEBAG GUITAR AND VINNIE DRUM W

SUN COCO BANN PM MAV MANIACS PM POWDER KEGZ 0-

PM BIKINI CONTEST NSTER GIVEAWAYS CLUBHOUSE GIRLS ALL WEEKEND MO BEER DOOR PRIZES BIKES BABES WHY ARENÂ´T YOU HERE ALREADY

LOLA INK COM

HARRY HINES Â&#x201E; DALLAS TX Â&#x201E; STROKERSDALLAS COM

VISIt US OnLIne at www.bLItzweekLy.cOm

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

Texas/OU Jokes

barSEEN

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

By Steven doyle - www.cravedfw.com

How do you get a UT graduate off your porch? Pay him for the pizza. It was reported that Oklahoma head football coach Bob Stoops will only be dressing twenty players for the Texas game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves. What does the average UT student get on their SAT? Drool. did you hear about the power outage at the University of Oklahoma library? Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

The big Red River Rivalry started back in 1900 between Texas and Oklahoma and has been playing in the Cotton Bowl in Dallas since 1932 during the Texas State Fair. The rivalry is bitter sweet and even the governors of both states get in on the action by exchanging a trophy and a side of beef to the winner each year. There were glory days for the big event when fans would rally down Commerce Street in downtown Dallas to be compared to that of Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Today the rivalry lives strong with school alumni and fans alike with many flocking to Dallas for the game weekend to attend the game or watch from their favorite watering hole. We have a list of some of the best party spots in Dallas to enjoy the game. The Granada Theater 3524 Greenville Avenue, Dallas Whether you are a Longhorn or a Boomer Sooner fan, you will enjoy the comfort of this historic theater located on Lower Greenville Avenue. Enjoy the game on three massive screens set up on the stage which is normally reserved for the hottest indie bands to hit Dallas. The food is made

Why do University of Texas fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces. Why do Sooners hate M&Ms? They’re too hard to peel. Why doesn’t Texas have water on the sidelines? Because the kid with the recipe graduated.

Photo Courtesy: Frankie’s Sports Bar and Grill

by a real chef and we highly suggest the pizza. A special optional fajita plate is being prepared for the game for $20, otherwise there is no cover. The venue has a great selection of beer, wine and cocktails. Who you will see: Displaced OU fans, casual locals What to drink: Local craft beers Urban Taco 3411 McKinney Avenue, Dallas Start your game day with a super brunch featuring bottomless $10 mimosas or margaritas until 2pm to get your gears going, then celebrate all day while watching on one of the nine jumbo flat screens or on the mammoth screen brought in just for game day. Bar specials include $16 buckets of beer, $2 team shots, and $3 Dos Equis on draft. DJ Chamo will be on hand to blast tunes between plays. Who you will see: Uptown patio elite What to eat: Chips and Salsa Trio with a dozen salsas to choose from; street tacos including the Pollo con Mole Frankie’s Sports Bar and Grill 3227 McKinney Avenue, Dallas With three locations in Dallas - Fort Worth, Frankie’s is the ultimate in local sports bars with 40 big screens scattered in any direction you might look, including a pair of 10’ HDTV projection systems. The food is kicked up sports bar fare which includes fried stuffed jalapenos on a stick or fried Wisconsin Badger Balls. The wings are top notch and house-made. Drink specials all day, and you can start your game day early with brunch to snag

Photo Courtesy: Urban Taco

a premium seat. Who you will see: Serious sports fans who love to drink What to drink: Do It Yourself Bloody Mary Bar The Fan Sports Lounge 2990 Olive, Dallas This is the largest Texas Exes party in North Texas. The Fan 105.3 will be broadcasting live starting at 9am, and starting their morning with a full brunch menu which includes $1 mimosas. Reserve your tables early as this is the headquarters for the massive game watching party in Victory Plaza which will be riddled with orange and white with a strong mix of red jerseys. On the patio The Fan will feature 2 DJ’s all day. Drink specials include $15 buckets and $3 Mikes Hard Lemonade. Plenty of door prizes and raffles with TV’s and other gear being offered. Who you will see: Texas Exes and a sea of OU fans What to eat: Loaded cheese fries and one of the best Phillies in Dallas

Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

Ok so it’s party time in Big D and we know some of you guys will be spending Texas / OU weekend in the county hotel. Make sure you avoid any extra time in the pokey by exercising a bit of couth on your way to the slammer.

Arrest Etiquette

don’t attempt to evade: Nothing makes an officers day like getting to clothesline and taze the chubby drunk who suddenly thinks he’s Usain Bolt’s long lost Caucasian sibling.

No name calling: Referring to the officer as Porky or Sir Hams-a-lot will most likely get you pepper sprayed and high-fived with a night stick. Never use the phrase “do you know who I am?”: The cops won’t care and neither will the guy behind you in the shower. Our guess is you’re gonna find out why it’s called the pokey before we do.

If you are going to try to bribe a cop to get out of trouble, do it with class. Try this: Pardon me my good man; I couldn’t help but notice that you dropped your $100 bill in my pocket. Be a good chap and retrieve it. I would get it myself but these handcuffs are so impeding my progress.

FOLLOw bLItz weekLy On twItter and FacebOOk

October 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5

jnEek \Wdi m[bYec[ mWjY^ j^[ ]Wc[ ^[h[7 m[[a[dZi Wh[ \eh dkhi_d] ^Wd]el[hi

ijef Xo \eh :IDKF c_ceiWiB XbeeZo cWhoi WdZ XkZ i[b[Yj ZhW\ji

:IDKF c_ceiWiB XbeeZo cWhoi WdZ XkZ i[b[Yj ZhW\ji

gk_Yabo X[Yec_d] \Wceki bWj[ d_j[ c[dk ed j^kh C \h_ C iWj W\j[h GFfc See more of Svetlana Alexis and others at Blitzweekly.com

Svetlana Alexis

Model: Svetlana Alexis Photos By: Jonah Gilmore / www.studioROCKETSCIENCE.com Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 october 10 - 16, 2012

2012 AT&T Red River Rivalry Preview

By Geoff Case — gcase@blitzweekly.com

ince 1900, it has become one of college football’s most eagerly anticipated games. Since 1945, one or both of the two teams has been ranked among the top 25 teams in the nation coming into 61 out of 66 games. Texas leads the all-time series 59–42–5, with a 47–38–4 edge in Dallas. The Dallas Morning News poll of 119 Division 1A football coaches resulted in the Texas-OU football game being named the third greatest college football rivalry of all time, behind Ohio State-Michigan and Army-Navy. That is some pretty amazing company. This year, however, will be a little different. Four times since 2000 there was one side that was at least ranked 10 or higher in AP polls. Texas and Oklahoma have both been ranked for the Red River Rivalry every year but one (2005) since 1999, but 1999 was also the last year neither team was in the top 10. That tells us that the track record of quality and consistency of the talent between these two teams has been simply stunning. While the national implications might not be as prevalent as it was in years past, the teams themselves are on a very even playing field this year. Honestly, this kind of represents the reality of this Big 12 season. While there probably aren’t any great teams in the league this year, there are still a lot of good ones. These two teams are definitely included in that conversation. In a league that many thought was loaded with up to seven or eight quality

teams, that seems to be the theme. There are no off weeks. Oklahoma is coming off a road victory against Texas Tech and is now preparing to face a Texas team that lost by a field goal to West Virginia. No. 13 Oklahoma (3-1, 1-1 Big 12) cruised past Texas Tech on Saturday while No. 15 Texas lost to fifth-ranked West Virginia, 48-45. Oklahoma offense versus Texas defense The Texas Longhorns will rely heavily on their defense, especially the defensive line, to carry this team. One thing the defense cannot afford is to be on the field for the majority of the game. The Texas offense will need to produce first downs in order to give their defense a breather once in a while. The secondary will need the defensive line fresh to constantly create pressure on Landry Jones who can be rattled and baited into turnovers. The Sooners are not the high-flying offense of years past, yet their production has been enough to win every game they have played. Before last week, OU’s averaged 491.7 yards per outing (277.7 through the air, 214.0 on the ground) in the week following a game in which three turnovers cost OU a victory over Kansas State. Further, the numbers are a bit inflated, as a result of running and passing for more than 300 yards (662 in all) against Florida A&M. The Oklahoma offense this year isn’t without its struggles despite what the stats maybe telling you. Edge: Texas Defense Texas Offense versus Oklahoma defense The Oklahoma Sooners had little trouble in defeating the Texas Tech Red Raiders 41-20 on Saturday in Lubbock, Texas, and while the score may indicate an offensive explosion it was actually the Oklahoma defense that keyed the victory. Quarterback Landry Jones threw for two scores, but it was defensive pressure and three interceptions by the Sooners of Texas Tech quarterback Seth Doege that were responsible for the win. The three interceptions were converted into 14 Oklahoma points, including a 46-yard interception return for a touchdown by Javon Harris. As a unit, the Sooners’ defense held the Red Raiders passing attack to 271 yards total, roughly 90 below their average output. Here are the numbers. The Sooners are allowing 14.3 points per game, 284.0 yards per game (123.7 passing; 160.3 rushing) and 13.3 first downs a game. Those are reasonably good numbers. On the other hand, two of OU’s three games were against UTEP and Florida A&M and the only other one, against Kansas State, they lost. Also, it’s worth pointing out what victimized the Sooner defense last season – big breakdowns in the secondary that led to big passing plays (recall Baylor and Oklahoma State) – has yet to be attempted. And still,

Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

it’s true; the Sooners were very good defensively for three quarters against Kansas State. I believe that the Sooner’s defensive performance will likely decide this game. If they are able to create turnovers and convert them into points they should be able to hold off the Longhorns. Longhorn QB David Ash played a cleaner game last week against West Virginia but he just didn’t make enough plays. Some of the blame needs to

be on the coaches as they dialed up the ground game every time the end zone was within sight. The Longhorns will need to take calculated shots against the Sooner defense but must be wary of turning the ball over. In a game this tight, one mistake could be the deciding factor. Edge: Oklahoma defense X-factors: Alex Okafor – DE Texas: All you could ask of Okafor is that he creates a few big plays and get to Landry Jones. That’s exactly what Okafor did last week, forcing two strip sacks, one of which was recovered for a touchdown and the other was recovered deep in West Virginia territory. Oh, and he blocked a field goal, too. If this guy has a big day… Landry Jones and the Sooners will be hurting. Who is going to win? Prediction: Oklahoma 24 Texas 17 This one will be pretty tight and one play could decide the outcome. I believe Oklahoma has the slight edge in this match-up only because of their ability to cause and capitalize on turnovers.

Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

A Rivalry That Never Grows Old By Jan Hubbard - comments@blitzweekly.com

ne of the realities of current youth is that most seem unimpressed by the enormity of tradition. In the distant days of my childhood, if someone said Texas and Oklahoma had been competing in football since 1900, we would have been overwhelmed. In 1900? Hell, refrigerators hadn’t even been invented. The fact that the game will be 113 years old on Saturday and that the two teams have been playing in the Cotton Bowl since 1932 is an afterthought for much of the current generation. Don’t misunderstand. Fans of OU and Texas have the very healthy disdain for one another so that tradition lives on. But the fact that the two teams have played 106 games is not that big of a deal, which is reflective of the computer-quick, shortattention span generation. And, frankly, that’s OK. But it is history that makes the rivalry so juicy. That and the fact that one state is quite a bit larger than the other and makes a big deal out of it. Texas is second in the U.S. in population and Oklahoma is 28th. Texas is also second in land mass while Oklahoma is 20th. Isn’t bigger better? UT fans would say yes. And it helps their point of view that Texas has been more successful in the series with a 59-42-5 record. But as OU enthusiasts point out, the Sooners are

NO COVER The Best Texas Tech Watch Party in Addison SUNDAY OCT. 14TH

Dallas v. Baltimore 8 Projectors - 30+ Screens Your Game is On! 4145 BELTLINE ROAD - ADDISON - 972.385.3558 VISIt US OnLIne at www.bLItzweekLy.cOm

Photo Courtesy: Derek T. Green

8-5 under Bob Stoops and that includes handing the Longhorns two of the worst beatings in their history – 63-12 in 2000 and 65-13 in 2003. Of such things, rivalries flourish. One of the more interesting aspects of the rivalry is that OU does an excellent job of luring great players from Texas and it is not as simple as those players abandoning their home state. Consider those who live in North, Northeast or Northwest parts of Texas. Even though it’s in another state, Norman is much closer than Austin. Billy

Photo Courtesy: Dave Wilson

Sims home in Hooks, Texas, was 360 miles from Austin but 290 to OU. Even from the fertile recruiting ground of Dallas – Norman is 189 miles and Austin is 195 according to Mapquest. So it is not only not traitorous to go to the closer school, it’s just as or even more practical. It is the mixture, however, of students and alumni of the two schools in Texas – particularly in a city as large as Dallas – that adds to the rivalry in a way experienced only partially by others. There are matchups with a great history but I think the only one that really comes close to Texas-OU is Alabama-Auburn because in each of those rivalries, the schools are recruiting the same athletes in the same area. Even after the respective students graduate, they are all mingling with each other in cities all over the state. The Michigan-Ohio State rivalry is similar to OU-Texas in that Michigan lures a lot of players from Ohio, which has more talented high school players. But alumni and students from the schools don’t mix in one state. So that somewhat negates the fact that Michigan always has more players from Ohio than OSU has from Michigan. The Wolverines list 24 players from Ohio on their current roster while the Buckeyes have only two from Michigan. The difference is much greater here. On the current OU roster, there are 52 players from Texas. On the Texas roster, there are three from Oklahoma. And that’s what makes the rivalry perhaps the best. That and history. The fact that the two have been playing so long simply makes it more intense. When the two schools meet Saturday, they will know there is a history of despising each other, although they may not recognize that it has been f o r more than a century. But it is a permanent part of the makeup of the rivalry – and a feeling that has been and will continue to be passed from generation to generation.

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 october 10 - 16, 2012

Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

October 10 - 16, 2012

The

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5

By Ethan Harmon - eharmon@blitzweekly.com

Must Have Albums Right Now

usic is a must when driving a car. The eerie silence without the radio blaring ushers in a feeling of unease, forcing us to grab the volume knob and crank up the volume. Not everyone shares the same taste in music, but there are albums that are undeniably must-haves. Next time you are driving down the road, make sure these disks are in your car (or loaded onto your iPod): 1. Life is Good – Nas In an era of rap that is defined by its bragging and selfish indulgences, Nas comes back into the spotlight to prove that 90s style beats and fresh lyrics are just what the genre needed. Rapping about his experiences over the past few years, from fame to fatherhood to divorce, Nas unleashes a flow that cannot be stopped. Roll to the nearest stoplight with the bass bumping Life is Good. Songs to listen to: Daughters, World’s an Addiction, You Wouldn’t Understand 2. Parallax II: Future Sequence – Between the Buried and Me The metal scene has deteriorated due to the constant re-hashing of similar styles. There are few bands left that lay out a unique sound. Here comes Between the Buried and Me, a revolutionary progressive-metal band full of talent and soul. Layering each song with multiple different genres, insane time signatures, and immense technical prowess, Between the Buried and Me is here to blow your mind. Songs to listen to: Telos, Astral Body 3. Some Nights – Fun. Mainstream rock can become bogged down with, well, sameness. A lot of bands begin to sound the same after a while, until now. Fun.’s Some Nights (I’m sure many already know of this record) is a

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

refreshing new sound to a genre where few can stand out. With a – ahem – fun style and catchy hits, it can be enjoyed by anyone. Songs to listen to: Some Nights, We Are Young, Carry On 4.. Camp – Childish Gambino Some may remember Donald Glover from his hit show, Community. His alter ego, Childish Gambino, is an accomplished rapper, and one that anyone can relate to. Rhyming about life growing up in dire straits to being a nerd in pop culture, Gambino represents a change in the rap game, and a welcome one at that. Songs to listen to: Heartbeat, Bonfire, Outside 5.. Blunderbuss – Jack White Do you like the White Stripes? Of course you do. Who doesn’t? Well, since the band is no longer together, pick up Blunderbuss, a solo album by founding member Jack White. It retains the bluesy, rock riffs of his previous band while incorporating some great, although a bit strange, new sounds into the mix. Songs to listen to: Sixteen Saltines, Love Interruption

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 october 10 - 16, 2012

;14/223<A/227A=< ;14/223<A/227A=<

.7:=D3;14/223<A j ;14/223<A/227A=< 1=; Â&#x2019; " # 03:B:7<3 @2 Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

October 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5

Hollywood Profile

with Jason Orr

By Vivian Fullerlove - vfullerlove@blitzweekly.com

unkJazz Kafe: Diary of a Decade (The Story Of A Movement) is the story of a cultural legend as told by the innovators of an important, and in some cases overlooked, era in Black culture. Spanning the late 1980’s through to the early 2000’s, this story goes deep into the fabric of soul music, it’s definitions, it’s pioneers, it’s offspring, it’s movements, the challenges with the “mainstream” industry as well as the evolution of the FunkJazz Kafé Arts & Music Festival, a music and artistic renaissance movement born out of Atlanta’s diverse musical and cultural arts heritage. The film covers the decade when Atlanta’s underground music scene became established on the world stage and a new generation of soul singers and musicians emerged. Diary of a Decade: The Story of a Movement also explores the question of how live soul bands have become virtually non-existent in the commercial music landscape of the 21st century when there have traditionally been a plethora of soul and R&B bands since the creation of recorded music. Narrated by Chuck D from Public Enemy, the documentary features appearances by Cee Lo Green, Jill Scott, Jamie Foxx, Doug E. Fresh and Andre 3000. I sat down with filmmaker Jason Orr to discuss the documentary and the movement that inspired it. What is the history of the music festival? FunkJazz Kafé Arts & Music Festival was successfully started in 1994 to be a platform for unrecognized emerging talents in the full circle of artistic disciplines.

I think we’ll see the height after this run with the movie. The movie has gained a lot of new patrons and participants around the country so I anticipate audiences at Funkjazz Kafé that we haven’t seen before from all over the world. Was it hard to get the artists to participate? Not at all. It was really more about availability. What made you decide to do the documentary? I think it is necessary to tell this phenomenal story about the evolution of FunkJazz Kafé, our success, our place in history, the dissolve of “Soul” music in the commercial market and to educate people

as to how to preserve this classic American culture that has so much to do with our cultural sustainability. How long did it take to complete the film? The idea to collect footage for the movie and document the magic that was happening at FunkJazz Kafé Arts & Music Festival began in 1996. The editing, collection and transferal of footage took about three years. Are you surprised at the response the film is getting at screenings and festivals around the country? Absolutely! The screenings are well attended for

Why did you start it? I started FunkJazz Kafé because of a need to foster talents in Black culture that were unrepresented. How do the early days of the fest compare with it at its height?

one...Then it’s mostly people (of all age groups) who have never been to FunkJazz Kafé or seen or experienced anything like it so for me that’s very rewarding. Why is this film so important? FunkJazz Kafé: Diary Of A Decade (The Story Of A Movement) creates dialogue that could offer some solution as to how people today can begin to take more responsibility with what they do in the creative arts towards creating better lifestyles and social change. What do you hope to accomplish with it? An opportunity for the world to see (and think about) what has happened to “Soul” music, how or why it vanished and inspire others to create branded properties like FunkJazz Kafé to preserve our musical heritage that has enriched our lives like jazz, soul, blues, R&B and Hip Hop. FunkJazz Kafé: Diary Of A Decade (The Story Of A Movement) makes its Dallas debut on Saturday, October 13, 2012 at 6:30 PM at The Black Academy of Arts and Letters (TBAAL) located inside the Dallas Convention Center Theater Complex at 1309 Canton Street,Dallas, TX 75202. Orr will be in attendance for a Q&A following the screening. Tickets for the screening and film talk are on sale now for $5. For tickets, call TBAAL’s Box Office at 214-743-2400.

Movie Review Butter

By Blake Zipoy - bzipoy@hotmail.com

he film Butter is based in Iowa and centers around what seems to be the only thing of importance in Iowa, if you believe this story, competitive butter carving. That’s right you heard me the first time. The film stars Ty Burrell (of Modern Family fame) as Bob, a 15-time winning state butter carving winner and Jennifer Garner as Laura, his domineering, extremely rigid wife. Bob is asked to step aside as the butter king, but his wife Laura does not want to lose their celebrity, so she decides to take on the challenge of being the new queen of Iowa butter carving. Now comes the tricky part. In comes Destiny, a 10-year old ward of the state played very well by Yara Shahidi. She has been bounced from home to home until she finally winds up

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

in the loving home of Jill, played by Alicia Silverstone, and Ethan, played by Rob Corddry. There she discovers butter-carving and thus becomes Laura’s rival for the coveted county representative at the state fair butter carving contest. Throw in a sleazy stripper, played by Olivia Wilde, who is sleeping with Bob, and you have some real drama. Right? Not really. I have to admit, I did not enjoy the first half of the film. Yara Shahidi is delightful as Destiny and how she

quietly maneuvers through the film is done so well, you cannot help loving her in the end. Rob Corddry was also a surprise. I usually don’t like the brash characters he normally plays, but this film showed a different side that was both funny and likeable. I hope he chooses more roles like this in the future. Ty Burrell was so submissive in this film, he almost disappears completely, and Jennifer Garner was a little too heavy in her performance. There is a small cameo of Hugh Jackman as a past flame of Laura, but nothing to get too excited about. Now I am a fan of movies that surprise me. The biggest surprise is Destiny and what she creates. The rest of the film is pretty predicable. Just like a butter carving, Butter tries to be creative using the same old ingredients.

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 october 10 - 16, 2012

Dirk In Germany By Chuck Cipione - chuckcipione@yahoo.com

Germany Calling

s baseball season abruptly ended, the Cowboys are putting on the same mediocre show we’ve seen so many times the past two decades, and hockey has decided actually playing a season is overrated, our Dallas sports eyes should naturally turn to the Lil’ Mavericks. While the Mavs ramp up their preseason in Europe there is no shortage of compelling storylines. This is of course the first

nents squarely focused on the seven footer, Dirk remains modest through and through and that my friends is why we continue to love and cheer for this world class athlete. Throughout the duration of the Mavericks’ trip to Dirk’s native land there has barely been time for the Finals MVP to sit still for a second. Everywhere he goes huge crowds are without a doubt right behind him asking for autographs and pictures.

Ah! It’s Dirkzilla!

full preseason the Mavs have had since winning their first date with Larry two years ago and the extreme roster turnover should not be lost on the fans either, but this year the Mavericks are participating in something that is way overdue. Last weekend Dallas took part in the NBA Europe Live Tour for the first time, such a seemingly natural fit for a team that has been led by a European player for over a decade. But nevertheless in the fifth transatlantic go around between European and American clubs they’ve finally got it right and sent our local basketball hero, Dirk Nowitzki, to play his first game as a Dallas Maverick in his homeland of Germany. The game was against eight-time German champion Alba Berlin; one of the most elite teams Germany has to offer. This is by far the coolest event the Association and team could have organized to honor a man that has given everything for his team and this city. It’s not hard to imagine that in the Fatherland Dirk is a bona fide rock star, even more so now that fellow German sports icons Michael Schumacher, a seven-time Formula One champion, and exChelsea player and longtime member of Germany’s national soccer team, Michael Ballack, announced their retirements from professional sports last week. This leaves Dirk center stage as he undoubtedly takes the throne of Deutschland’s Golden Child. Even with the eyes of two conti-

One day before the friendly match between the intercontinental sides Nowitzki was even honored with the AmCham Germany Transatlantic Partnership Award, which promotes GermanAmerican friendship. But the game itself is what we’re all interested in, right? Well, apparently so were Dirk’s fellow countrymen, as the game sold out within five minutes of being on sale. The welcome he received in the pregame was spectacular as well, an absolutely deafening roar from the Berlin crowd could’ve not only matched but beaten that of any soccer stadium chant. Even though our sports icon ended up having a pretty lackluster game, which included a missed dunk blamed on old age by Dirk himself, only going 3-9 with eight points and five rebounds the Mavericks still pulled out the W with good games from Vince Carter and new editions Chris Kaman and Derek Collison. But hey, it’s the first preseason game so we’ll give Dirk a break and just focus on the story at hand. The Mavs will be back in the good ol’ U.S. of A soon to play the Rockets on October 15th and things will return to normal, but finally for one tiny moment we got to see Dirk uniting the sport he loves and works so hard for with the country that produced such a talented athlete for the first time, and that my friends is very, very cool and can never be repeated.

Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

By Steven Doyle - www.cravedfw.com

f 2011 was the Year of the Burger in Dallas, and 2012 was the Year of the Taco, then stand back for 2013’s culinary offering of the lowly hot dog. There will be hot dog venues popping up all over, and some will actually be quite nice. One of the early adopters is Bowery

the past 133 years. roger Staubach and phil romano are involved in this project, so it is sure to be a hit. Look for four locations just after the first of the year. One of the best hot dogs can be found on the weekends at White Rock Lake Market which

Start’s Better Badder Burger. Photo Courtesy: Joy Zhang

Bowery Chicago dog. Photo Courtesy: Joy Zhang which is located in Uptown Dallas on McKinney Avenue and owned by the geniuses behind the fine dining hot spot, Oak, which is located in the Dallas Design District. Bowery is kicked up casual dining at its finest. The earliest examples of hot dogs in America date to the 1860’s in the Bowery district in New York City when German immigrants earned their living selling hot dogs, along with milk rolls and sauerkraut, from pushcarts on the side of the street. The Bowery, described by the owners as a gourmet eatery, aims to transport diners to that time and place. Other hot dog eateries on their way to Dallas includes Bob Sambol’s, of Bob’s Steakhouse fame, as he is making ready one of many dog houses. The first will be located in the new Trinity Grove area of Dallas which is located just west of the new Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge. Bob will feature Hofmann dogs, a product that is known best in New York and has been manufactured for

operates on the 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month from 8AM to 1PM in the parking lot of The Green Spot. There you will find The Grape’s fine diningchef-owner Brian Luscher hawking his house-made dogs that he calls Luscher’s Post Oak Red Hots. These are the real deal from the chef that Texas Monthly pronounced as the best burger in

the state. Luscher knows his way around meat. Once you’ve had your fill of hot dogs you may want to soothe your system with somewhat healthier fare. Start is a cutting edge fastcasual concept created by local Dallas resident Erin McKool and is located on upper Greenville Avenue next to Rusty Taco. Start provides “good for you food” in a quick service environment that also has a drive-through. Start offers diners their favorite foods, only smarter – real food made from scratch. McKool explains, “Our food is healthy and handmade, but not necessarily ‘diet food.’ Organic and natural is critical to us, so all of our eggs, milk, sugar and many other items are organic. We only use meats and eggs from humanely

raised animals, and we don’t use products that are raised on hormones and antibiotics, or treated with nitrates. Our bakery items are made with 100% whole wheat flour.” Our Start favorites for breakfast include the Bacon, Egg and Cheddar Sandwich, and the Egg White veggie Burrito. Lunch and dinner have some great items to sample such as their Mahi Mahi Wrap stuffed with red cabbage, avocado and a cilantro cream sauce. We also enjoyed what they call their Badder Better Burger that is made with grass-fed beef, applewood smoked bacon and all the accouterments.

CrAVEdfw VISIt US OnLIne at www.bLItzweekLy.cOm

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

Q: What do the Cowboys and a tampon have in common? A: They’re only good for one period and no second string. Q: What do you call a prostitute with her hands up her skirt? A: Self-employed. Q: Why are sperm donations more expensive than blood donations? A: Because they are handmade.

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

The Camel A man was riding through the desert on his camel. He’d been traveling so long that he felt the need for sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert, so the man turned to his camel. When he tried to position himself to have sex with his camel, the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused and started running away again. So, he caught up to it again and got on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said, “If you fix our car we will do anything you want.” The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked, “How could we ever repay you mister.” After thinking for a short while he replied, “Could you hold my camel?”

COCKrOACH rOBOTS ABC News reported September 13, 2012, a conference held by researchers from North Carolina State University demonstrated their latest technological advance in aiding “first responders” at peacetime and wartime disasters: cockroaches. By equipping Madagascar hissing cockroaches with electronic backpacks (antennas, batteries, cameras and microphones) scientists hack the bugs’ nervous systems to remotely steer them into the tiniest of openings, a crucial step in finding survivors of earthquakes and bombings. FrOM THE BEArd THAT BIT YOU? Have you ever heard “to cure a

Libra September 23 – October 22 There’s that one thing in life that gives you hope when all else fails – you just haven’t found it yet.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 You’ve always been a never-say-die person which will explain the loss for words at your funeral.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 You’ll be diagnosed with a rare condition that makes it impossible to start your day unless you have two or three energy drinks.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Your life will continue on pretty much the way it has the past two weeks.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 They say it’s better to give than to receive which is why you should see a doctor about your raging STD.

BLITZ FUNNYS

pisces February 19 – March 20 When all is said and done you should have just let those ferrets succeed or fail on their own.

hangover, take hair from the dog that bit you”? Well, not the same, but Rogue Ales, a brewery/pub in Newport, Oregon, is developing an ale made with yeast harvested from the beard of award-winning brewmaster John “More Hops” Maier. Starting as a joke, brewery employees took nine follicles from Maier face, which had not been shaven since 1978, and discovered it produced a perfect yeast for fermenting ale. (Reckon dandruff shampoo might stop production?) OH! CrAp! A recent study published in the journal of Clinical Infectious Diseases found the common use of antibiotics to fight many illnesses also destroyed very important bacteria inside the intestines, creating problems such as colitis, caused by Clostridium difficile, in some cases becoming toxic megacolon, which, in the U.S. alone, kills some 14,000 each year. Good news is, this condition is treatable with a fecal transplant (i.e. putting poo-poo back inside the body.)

Aries March 21 – April 19 You’ll become more environmentally friendly this week when you decide to start using those hitchhiker’s bodies for decorative items around the house. Taurus April 20 – May 20 Be sure to choose your words wisely this week as you only have five of them left. Gemini May 21 – June 21 Your coworkers are tired of your lame excuses, but this time it really is the car’s fault.

ACrOSS 1. Manager 6. Slender 10. A romantic meeting 14. Dental filling 15. A coniferous tree 16. Distinctive flair 17. Sobriety 19. Publicize 20. Ancient ascetic 21. Louse-to-be 22. Thorny flower 23. Pains 25. Cite 26. Young girl 30. Nuclear 32. Creative persons 35. Emit 39. Paltry 40. Scanty 41. Consume 43. Not western 44. Happenings

46. Feudal worker 47. Surplus 50. Clan emblem 53. Whip 54. Adult males 55. Buff 60. Pearly-shelled mussel 61. Unfit 63. Start over 64. Blend 65. Scallion 66. Implored 67. Satan’s territory 68. Relaxes

Cancer June 22 – July 22 A strange combination of hubris, treachery and being kicked out will end your reign as Buffet King. Leo July 23 – August 22 You’ll feel like a kid again this weekend when your parents unexpectedly stop by. Virgo August 23 – September 22 You achieve the impossible this week by once again talking your way out of sounding interesting.

dOWN 1. Give as an example 2. 1 1 1 1 3. Charity 4. Superhero accessory 5. Doglike nocturnal mammal 6. Health resort 7. Small OldWorld finch 8. A type of tooth 9. Encounter 10. Devalue 11. Detached 12. Thigh armor 13. Go in 18. Record (abbrev.) 24. Possesses 25. Carnival attractions 26. Lantern 27. Region 28. Sun 29. A society of women 31. Mother

33. A person who is owned by someone 34. Kid 36. How old we are 37. Small slender gull 38. Sea eagle 42. Accord 43. Eastern Standard Time 45. Part of the throat 47. Impolite dinner sound 48. Discussion group 49. Comment to the audience 51. Upon (prefix) 52. Engine 54. Pulp 56. Alley 57. Nile bird 58. Notch 59. Female chickens 62. Website address

Solution on Page 22 FOLLOw bLItz weekLy On twItter and FacebOOk

OctOber 10 - 16, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUe 5

THE CLOSER

Pocketful of Peens Thorned Not Scorned

Posie Pocket has experienced some puzzling dating situations. Instead of hardening her heart, she’s reflecting on these encounters with hope and bright eyes for the future. By sharing her stories, she’s revealing the lessons learned and getting a good laugh while on the lookout for love.

We’ve all seen the commercials claiming that one in five relationships begin with an online dating site. That’s all fine and dandy. Some would even say, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. But what about Craigslist? Considering you can get a free, pissed on, ratty couch on Craigslist, is this really the spot to be looking for a mate? Maybe just a hot summer sweat screw. I was still blindly enchanted by the boyfriend who shit on my sheets. You remember the one. It had been eight months into our courtship and we were in the toxic cycle of big blow-out fights and then needy, all-consuming make-up sex. Everyone under the sun saw we brought out the worst in one another and advised me to break up with him. Of course I knew they were wrong and it was us against the world. The thought of him now repulses me and I wish I would have wised up way sooner. I saw red flags on the first date but kept strumming along with his mediocre offerings. The people who truly love you really do know best. Anyway, he left his email up on my computer one day because he had to print some stupid coupon for motorcycle maintenance. I swear he offered that motorcycle more affection than he offered his own girlfriend, the supposed love of his life. This motorcycle dilemma was a huge pain in our relationship and always caused a fight. He talked the love talk, but really he was a little boy wanting to play with big boy toys. Since his email was up on my computer, of course I was going to look. Honestly, I knew deep down that a life with him would always feel a little empty, wrong and like I was selling myself short. I knew I was out of his league but felt tied to him for some odd reason. Perhaps this email snooping would be the clarity I truly needed. Also, a realization that you don’t go looking for something unless you’re hoping to find some dirt. I am clicking through his emails and not

discovering anything earthshattering. Little notes here and there from his ex-girlfriend but we all have an “ex file” so I wasn’t disturbed. Just as I’m about to log out because I’m consumed by guilt, I see a Craigslist personal ad email. I figured it was some tool set or motorcycle part. Luckily, I clicked on the email and bam…a photo of him taking one of those gross bathroom shots in the mirror. He had his lips curled up in a “sexy snarl” and he was tugging on his jeans to show off the top of his bush. I screamed in horror, shooting tears out of my eyes. At that very moment, I literally felt like my whole entire world was crumbling in and I couldn’t get full breaths. The only thought in my head was, “But I was going to marry him.” I have never had anyone shock me to the core as much as he did in that moment. As I dove deeper into all the Craigslist-related personal ads, the details and photos got more graphic and disgusting. It was glorified porn. During our sex sessions, I’d never heard him use the language he was using on these slutty twits. So much licking, stroking and petting. I was mortified! How and why would he solicit all these reckless sexscapades? Granted, these Craigslist emails were from a couple years prior before we knew one another, but with this shady activity, who knows what else he’s into. And we had even watched The Craigslist Killer on Lifetime together. I remember sitting on the couch, my head on his shoulder, asking him if he’d ever answered any Craigslist personal ads. He laughed in my face and said, “Come on, don’t even joke about that.” Well this jig is up and you best be getting your shit out of my apartment! I call up the girl who set us up and she dashed over immediately to my rescue. She was literally holding me up as I was blubbering uncontrollably. She commanded me to call him right then and there and hit him with a dose of honesty and break up with his ass. As I dialed his number, my heart rattled in my chest and I had to sit on my free hand to stop it from shaking. I delivered the truth right away, confessing that I went through his

" ½/Ê --Ê 6 ,/ - Ê"**",/1 /9

Ê/ Ê -/ -/Ê ,"7 7 9Ê*1 / " Ê Ê 7t

CALL NOW! ADVERTISE TODAY!

214-529-7370

VISIt US OnLIne at www.bLItzweekLy.cOm

email. He then turned it on me, screamed at me and said he couldn’t believe he was with someone like me. Someone who would go through his emails. Of course I retreated as I did with him. He had this way of paralyzing me, making me feel insignificant and wrong all the time. I told him I didn’t trust him and I was glad I went through his emails. As I looked at my friend, she supplied me with a little courage. I felt myself stand a little taller and I calmly retorted, “I can’t believe I was with someone who would solicit sex on Craigslist.” Pretty sure that takes the cake buddy. Although he said he never actually went through with any of the romantic transactions (yeah right) you’re still sick in the head for flaunting peek-a-boo pics of your bush on the Internet. I never really understood the girls who were so enamored with their loves that they were inconsolable upon a breakup. Well now I do. I was so distraught I had to have someone with me at all times. They later told me they heard my cries of despair all through the night and even when I was taking a shower the next morning. I can still remember the crippling feeling of waking up the next day and wishing it didn’t happen. Now I can laugh about the situation, but at the time, I was virtually hopeless. Unfortunately it wasn’t a clean break. He would show up randomly at my apartment with flowers and I would try to hide my car in random spots so he wouldn’t think I was home. And of course I was still in love with him although I violently desired not to be. It was the hardest struggle I’ve ever been through but now I feel loads and loads stronger because of it. You can double damn guarantee I have a cautionary line to end this twisted nightmare. Get the deal breakers up front. See what you can live with and what you’re going to have to trade in. If I would have known about the Craigslist solicitation from the initial stages of our relationship, I would never gotten tossed up in the sheets and fallen in love with this sketchazoid. Better yet, have some common sense and avoid the Internet sex route and just drum up business the old fashion way, at a bar. I’m not one for “midnight stranger sex” but with some folks it’s all the rage. Find your midnight stranger in the real world and maybe buy them a drink first before you show them all your goodies.

THE

ANSWER GUY WITH

ArTHUr BELLFIELd

Dear Arthur, I cheated on my girlfriend “Shelby” last weekend with a co-worker! My girlfriend was totally clueless, until the girl posted a picture of herself wearing the t-shirt that I left at her place on Facebook. The problem is, my coworker is also the aunt of Shelby’s kids. So, she found out quickly! How do I get my now ex-girlfriend back and still have the freedom to cheat when I want to? T-Shirts Aren’t My Friend Chuck Palahniuk may have my head for this, but I took the liberty of adapting his Fight Club rules to your situation. The first rule of Cheating is: You do not talk about Cheating to your boys. The second rule of Cheating is: You do not befriend the chick on Facebook. The third rule of Cheating: if she wants to take pictures of you, have a sleepover, or follow you on Twitter, the cheating is over. Fourth rule: only cheat with strangers. Fifth rule: one girl at a time, guys! Sixth rule: no bipolar chicks, no depressed girls, or co-dependent chicks. Seventh rule: cheating goes on until the girl is sexually satisfied. Never leave them wanting more. And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first time getting caught cheating always blame the girl, because you were in a vulnerable place in your life when it happened! I came up with these rules to help guys like you cheat without getting caught, thrown in jail, murdered, or whatever crime of passion your girlfriends or wives have planned for you. I personally do not agree with cheating! Tell Shelby the truth, you’re a CHEATER and proud of it! If she takes you back, that’s on her! She’ll have to live with the consequences! send questions to arthur@blitzweekly.com

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 5 october 10 - 16, 2012

Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

The Big & Bright way to go! Riding DART is bright. As in smart. It’s about more time enjoying the fair – and less time getting there. Sign up for text alerts so you’re in the know, onLARGER the go! than 1” height Just text DARTTXOU to 41411. Also, allow plenty of travel time so that you arrive by kickoff.

SMALLER than 1” height