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Third Times A Charm

IT’S WORLD SERIES OR BUST FOR THE RANGERS

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October 3 - 9, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

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VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

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By Keysha Hogan – @TheKeysha

They’re Listening, Make Your Demands!

C SPORTS NEWS On Deck 3 Love of the Game 4 Big 12 Preview 5 SEC Preview 5 SMU Preview 5 UNT Preview 5 Full-Court Press 6 Jerry’s World 7 Football Video Game History 8 Coach Eddie 8 Eat It. Wear It. Go There.

9 Cover Story Best Fiction Players 10 World Series or Bust 10 -11 BLITZ Entertainment Whitley 12 Drink More Beer 13 Organic Food Is Evil 13 Dredd Review 14 Plate Escapes 14 The Essential Cool 15 Gearshift 16 Respect the Tech 16 Blitz Funnys Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News 17 The CLOSER Pocketful of Peens 18 The Answer Guy 18

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Patterson Creative Director Michael H. Lee Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Design Michael H. Lee Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Chuck Majors

Staff Writers Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, David Goodspeed, Ethan Harmon, Keysha Hogan, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller Contributing Photographers

Scott Abelman, Randall Chancellor, Alexa Clark, Tim Dobson, Joseph Dowling, Ethan Harmon, Matt Pearce, Clicit, Dappered, ThornMonkey Contributing Writers Cote Bailey, Arthur Bellfield, Jay Betsill, Stephen Evans, Taylor Feinstein, Jason Fleck, Jan Hubbard, Henry Jenkins, Brad LaCour, Posie Pocket

CONTACT US Phone: 214-529-7370 • FAX: 972-960-8618 Email: info@blitzweekly.com

BLITZ Weekly

ongratulations! When outrage and impatience intersect, big things can happen.

And after the replacement refs racked up too many infractions you demanded and won an end to the lockout. Since Goodell and the league are in a compromising mood, let’s make our demands known and make some much-needed changes.

End Thursday Nights - How many times must we turn in early on Thursday nights because of work the next day? I don’t want to miss any of the teams I enjoy watching, and a full day of Sunday games and Monday nights are enough to keep up with.

Helmet Cams – We are living in an age of cameras everywhere. If Google can tether us to the internet via a pair of designer glasses, surely we can hook a wireless camera on to a helmet.

Imagine the intensity of following a defender’s moves as he hunts down QBs in the backfield. Or the thrill of watching your favorite quarterback analyze the defense right before the snap? This simple addition would be a marketing gold-mine for the league and bring a new dimension to our gladiator sport.

Sensors – Currently there is technology that allows for sensors in helmets a n d

List Of Demands

mouthpieces, but why not the ball? This would simplify the process of determining the 1st downs, eliminating guess work and perfecting distance related calls.

Lower Prices – As the unemployment rate holds steady at 8%, the NFL should do fans a solid and make a day at the stadium a reality instead of a budgeting nightmare. Let’s say you and a friend get two tickets at $150 each. Parking can be about $40. Food and Gas will be at least $60 if you don’t sneak in some snacks in your pocket.

So you’re looking at easily spending $400 for the afternoon. If you have a family, you’ll have to take out a payday loan.

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Review the Tuck Rule – This rule has been annoying since its introduction in 1999. My big problem is that the ref is put in the position of judging if the quarterback’s arm moved forward was intentional or not. Basically, they’re mind readers! At the very least this rule needs to be reconsidered and rewritten.

End Blackouts – Punishing located fans for not selling out their stadium must stop. There’s no reason that a person shouldn’t be able to watch their hometown team in their local market. In 2011 there were 16 blackout and since the league shares its television revenue, why is this still happening?

More Celebrations – The league should allow for more individuality and impromptu moments.

There was a time when things had gotten out of hand, but overall it made scoring fun and exciting in the 1980’s to watch the greats bust a little cabbage patch action after scoring.

You, the fans, matter. And it’s about time league was more forward thinking and less reactionary.

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Seth MacFarlane hosting the Oscars

I’m surprised he’s doing it, you know, because The Simpsons haven’t done it yet. I’m just kidding. He’s really a nice guy, thieving b*stard.

P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com Copyright 2012 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com.

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October 3 - 9, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

Love Of The Game

By Jan Hubbard - comments@blitzweekly.com

There’s a Baseball Fan in All of Us

W

hen I first began covering sports as a newspaper writer, I heard the most difficult athletes to work with were baseball players. There were several theories.

-- The sport was so statistically oriented that it made players more selfish, thus more sensitive to inquiries and criticism.

-- Unlike football and basketball players, many baseball players went straight from high school to the minor leagues and did not have the benefit of college, thus they had collectively less maturity.

-- Baseball players simply were not as smart as other athletes.

Photo Courtesy: Boston Public Library

Photo Courtesy: Scott Abelman

On one of my first trips into the Texas Rangers clubhouse, I asked a prominent player what I thought was a pretty good question and this was his response: “Anyone who asks the kind of questions you ask shouldn’t be covering sports.”

Sports? Hey, if he’d said I was lousy at baseball questions, he would have had some credibility.

But all sports? That hurt.

In 2006 and 2007, I was a regular beat writer covering the Rangers and I’m happy to tell you that as a group, if baseball players have changed. You won’t find nicer athletes anywhere than guys like Michael Young, Kevin Millwood, Jerry Harrison Jr., or Mark DeRosa. And spending two springs in Surprise, Arizona, allowed me to understand the magic of spring training, and thus the magic I thought existed in baseball when I was a kid.

At times, like other sports, baseball has been soiled by big business. But there still is a romanticism and purity about it that is unmatched and that’s all a part of the excitement we feel about the postseason.

Much of it is about history and tradition. There is so much more of it in baseball than other sports.

Consider the obvious: The National League began play in 1875 and the American League began in 1901.

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Compare that to the NFL, which began in 1920 and was around almost 50 years before it began attracting mass attention. The NBA began in 1946 and as late as the early 1980s, the league was so unpopular that its championship series was broadcast on tape delay.

The NFL, of course, has now far surpassed MLB as the top sport in America. The NFL is so dominant that it draws more TV viewers than even the top entertainment shows. Consider the local reality: A meaningless Cowboys preseason game will draw more local viewers than the toprated Rangers regular season game, even against a team like the Yankees. And a Cowboys playoff game will blow away the Rangers and the Mavericks, even if they are in a championship series.

Yet even though it does not translate into eyes watching TV, we have seen the last few years how a pennant race brings out the baseball fan in all of us. That love of the game was passed down from generations in the first half century to the baby boomers – who still loved baseball more than other sports – and they have successfully passed it to their sons and daughters, who have passed it to their sons and daughters.

It’s also been 16 years since baseball had a nasty labor battle between players and owners.

When the World Series was cancelled because of a labor dispute in 1994, baseball fans were slower to forgive than fans in other sports. Oddly, it was the steroid-infused home run derbies of the late 1990s that, well, fueled some of the interest in baseball, but that fans returned.

But the fans are back and, as always, baseball seems to have produced an exciting story. The Washington Nationals are the first baseball team from Washington to make the postseason since 1933. That is amazing.

In 1933, the NFL was the afterthought and the NBA was 13 years away from being born. That longevity has sustained the passion for baseball.

It’s an old friend, and no matter how old you are, it’s been around all of our lives.

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

North Texas

SMU SEC BIG 12 Game of the Week Game of the Week

By Jason Fleck – jason.fleck@mavs.uta.edu

F

Hostile Territory

ive undefeated teams sit atop the Big 12 standings and two of them will meet up in a top 15 clash this Saturday in Austin.

This match-up will feature the No. 11 Texas Longhorns against the No. 8 West Virginia Mountaineers. This is an early season matchup between two of the favorites to win the Big

Photo Courtesy: Randall Chancellor

12 with Oklahoma going down to Kansas State in their Week 4 battle. Both teams are coming off of tough games against their Week 5 opponents. Though both games were quite a bit different, they will definitely be looking for the same outcomes. With so much on the line so early in the season, both teams are looking to get the win and a 2-0 start in the tough Big 12 conference.

Texas came off of a tough back and forth fourth quarter, which Texas ended up winning on their final drive. They did so by coming up huge on fourth-and-six when David Ash connected with tight end D.J. Grant for a 29-yard game. Then Ash connected with Mike Davis for a 32-yard gain, which set up Joe Bergeron’s game winning two-yard touchdown run. This was a huge leap for a Texas team that looked so bad last season and definitely needed a win like that to boost their confidence and get them ready for this match up against the Mountaineers and of course their huge rivalry game in the Red River shootout the following weekend in Dallas.

West Virginia has yet to have their defense show up in a game, coming off a 70-63 shootout victory over Baylor. Their defense is now allowing 32 points a game and is lucky they have the top-rated passing offense in the nation throwing for 442 yards per game. Geno Smith played like there wasn’t a defense on the field against him, throwing for remarkable 656 yards and 8 TD passes. This weekend Smith will be hoping his defense can keep Texas out of the end zone, because the Texas defense is a whole lot better than the defenses they have faced so far. Smith will find a way to put points on the board, but can the D do their part and keep Texas out of the end zone? That will be the biggest stat of the game.

Game Info #8 WEST VIRGINIA vs #11 TEXAS SAT. OCT. 6 – 6:00PM / FOX ROYAL-TEXAS MEMORIAL STADIUM

By Stephen Evans – comments@blitzweekly.com

Nation Eyes Top 10 Match Up

T

he Swamp in Gainesville, Florida, has a way of separating the contenders from the pretenders. Therefore, consider this weekend Separation Saturday.

The fourth-ranked LSU Tigers, a perfect 5-0 on the season but a team that has dropped a spot in each of the past two AP polls, visits The Swamp for a top 10 clash against the surging tenth-ranked Florida Gators. The matchup features the two winningest teams in the SEC over the past 10 seasons. LSU has the best record in the league during that span (10222, .823), while the Gators are 91-31 (.746) since 2003.

Saturday afternoon’s contest also marks the beginning of the teeth of the SEC schedule for both programs. LSU must find a way to get its offense back on track against a salty Florida defensive unit. The Gators rank tenth in the country in scoring defense, allowing just 12.75 points per game. That isn’t an encouraging statistic for an LSU offense that has struggled to put opponents away in back-to-back weeks at Auburn and against Towson State.

LSU has also faced a steady does of attrition

Mustangs Mean Green

Frank LaCosta – flacosta@blitzweekly.com

Frank LaCosta – flacosta@blitzweekly.com

Conference Play Begins

Sights Set On Cougars

T

he old Southwest Conference tour is over and the Mustangs went 0-3. The inclement weather conditions this past Saturday made the Iron Skillet game somewhat close. TCU came out on top 24-16.

That being said the Mustangs simply do not have the mojo that they possessed the past few seasons or maybe it’s a lack of talent compared to the other schools they’ve faced. Their lone win this season came against Stephen F. Austin. Perhaps entering conference play will allow them to regain their focus and become a born again football team. June Jones is a great coach and he’ll need to dig deep to help this team out.

QB Garrett Gilbert who transferred in from Texas hasn’t lived up to expectations. His receivers didn’t do him any favors against TCU as they dropped at least six passes. That doesn’t erase

since the start of fall camp, losing its Heisman Trophy candidate defensive back, its starting outside linebacker, its starting left tackle, its starting tailback, and now its starting fullback in JC Copeland. Without Copeland, LSU will have to convert its power rushing attack into more of a pass-first approach. Can QB Zach Mettenberger, making just his second career road start, handle that pressure?

While the Tigers have been treading water, Florida has been on the rise, and it couldn’t come at a better time. Three of Florida’s next four games are against teams currently ranked in the top 10, starting with the Tigers this weekend. QB Jeff Driskel has stepped up as the Gators’ unquestioned leader following a less-than-stellar fall camp.

Driskel has the Gators’ offense moving the ball with confidence, which is quite a bonus for defensive-minded head coach Will Muschamp.

For the Gators to take the next step toward national prominence, picking off LSU will go a long way in establishing a foothold. For the Tigers, it’s all about erasing any thoughts of their pending demise.

Let the separation begin.

Game Info: #4 LSU vs. #10 FLORIDA SAT. OCT. 6 – 2:30PM / CBS BEN HILL GRIFFIN STADIUM

N

orth Texas won its first conference game of the season in a match up with the Florida Atlantic Owls this past Saturday while on the road.

An improved special teams effort and defensive play was the difference in the 20-14

Photo Courtesy: Sandy McAnally

Photo Courtesy: Joseph Dowling

Photo Courtesy: photo-gator

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his six turnovers that he had for the game. By the end of the game Gilbert had gone 15 for 40 for 190 yards, a TD and five interceptions. RB Zach Line had 15 carries for 44 yards and a TD (a 21-yard run). WR Jeremy Johnson led the team with four catches for 62 yards. In other words the offense was pretty pathetic and if they perform the same this week against UTEP expect another loss. The defense fared a tad better by recovering two fumbles and didn’t allow TCU to convert on its four fourth down attempts.

This week UTEP hosts the Mustangs. They were competitive against OU, Ole Miss and and Wisconsin as well as in their game against conference foe East Carolina. They are led by QB Nick Lamaison who is a senior. His experience at QB could be the difference maker in this one. He is by no means a running quarterback preferring to stand in the pocket. His favorite target is Michael Edwards who has 3 TDs and 455 yards for the season. The ground game is typically handled by Nathan Jeffery but he’s questionable for Saturday. If he doesn’t go then Jordan Leslie will take the carries. The defense has given up at least 24 points in every game this season. Expect SMU to pound Line to open up the passing lanes for Gilbert. SMU should win this one but it will be ugly.

Game Info: SMU vs UTEP SAT. OCT. 6 – 7PM SUN BOWL

victory. Kicker Zach Olen successfully made two field goals attempts and PATs while the defense forced three turnovers. Things got a little scary once the Owls scored their second TD at the start of the fourth quarter to make the score 17-14. However Olen calmly hit his second FG attempt midway through the fourth to extend the Mean Green lead to six. It was a game in which North Texas never trailed.

QB Derek Thompson went 18 of 30 for 251 yards with a pair of TDs and an interception. The workhorses (Jimmerson and Byrd) combined for 23 carries for a paltry 46 yards against the stingy Owl run defense. Brelan Chancellor was the “go-to” receiver once again nabbing six receptions for 135 yards and a TD. That TD was a big one as he reeled in a 68-yard pass to put the first points of the game on the board.

This was his third game this season with over 100 yards receiving and his second straight.

The defense did its job forcing a fumble and two interceptions while holding the Owl aerial attack to 142 yards and RB Damian Fortner to 63 yards rushing and a TD. The UNT defense did not allow a single fourth down conversion in three attempts.

The Houston Cougars are nothing like the team they were last season. Gone are head coach Kevin Sumlin, QB Case Keenum and the high scoring offense. They’ve had trouble scoring and their defense is one of the worst in the country. Sophomore QB David Piland (Southlake) has as many touchdowns as he does interceptions. He’s also been sacked six times due to a weak offensive line. WRs Daniel Spencer and Dewayne Peace are his favorite targets. They’ve been recipients of about half of Piland’s attempts. The ground game will be handled by Charles Sims who is a big back with some speed. The Cougars won’t generate enough offense and their defense will give up some big plays. Look for UNT to even its season record with a victory this week.

Game Info: UNT vs. HOUSTON SAT. OCT. 6 – 6PM ROBERTSON STADIUM

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October 3 - 9, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

Full-Court Press

An Introduction to Bikini Basketball

By Cote Bailey - @BlitzWeekly

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conditioning systems.

The Talent: According to their website, the BBA is “for sexy athletic ladies from around the world.” When I read this line I couldn’t help but think, “please recruit Brazilians, please recruit Brazilians, dear God let them recruit Brazilians.”

It’s safe to say with having seen some of the promo shots and knowing the type of talent the Lingerie Football League receives that these ladies will be insanely sexy. Let’s just hope the commissioner finds girls that are more Gisele Bundchen and less Charles Barkley – not that Mr. Barkley wasn’t a fine basketball player, but I believe we could all do without having to gouge out our own eyeballs.

The Flack: Far be it from me not to recognize that there are two sides to every coin. For every yin there’s a yang, and for every Jedi there’s a Sith. So, naturally there will be those who will condemn fans and participants alike for engaging in what is viewed as activity that is misogynistic, debasing or counter productive to say the least.

But I say to those naysayers, do we not live in a country of freedom, a country where little boys and girls can grow up and be whoever they want? Did our forefathers not perish that we may live in a land free of the oppression of ideas and to be clothed by the warm, sweet embrace of Lady Liberty (insert backdrop of fireworks,

inally! Some great men – dare I say saints – have put together the perfect union of barely there swimwear and basketball. Oh happy day! The Bikini Basketball League is coming. And by coming I mean right now (as of print time we are 31 days, 14 hours, and 10 minutes until liftoff). I view as my civic duty to give you all the information that you need to know about what is soon to be my favorite sport.

The Teams: As of now the BBA has seven teams ready to go: Atlanta Fleet Angels, Miami Spice, New York Knockouts, Hollywood Hotties, Orlando Lady Cats, Los Angeles Lady Cats, and the Chicago Desire. Besides the fact that they seem like they were all named by your creepy uncle, who may or may not be registered with the state, it’s a good start. Plus I hear that all the arenas are equipped with super-cooled air-

American flag, and Abraham Lincoln)? Then I say to you boycotters, bloggers, and Nancy Grace that George Washington crossed the Delaware so that Bikini Basketball could live!

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VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

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Photo Courtesy: Matt Pearce

By Jay Betsill – @thefamousjay

Cowboys Monday Nightmare

T

he Dallas Cowboys were blown out of Cowboys Stadium in a 34-18 loss to the Chicago Bears in front of ESPN’s Monday Night Football audience. The Cowboys 74th appearance on Monday night was marred by five Tony Romo interceptions that had the offensive unit looking dazed and confused. The five picks matched the Cowboy quarterback’s career high (Romo is the only active NFL QB with a pair of five interception games). For the evening, Romo completed 31 of 43 passes for 307 yards with one touchdown to go with the five picks.

In all fairness, not all of the picks were on Romo.

Dez Bryant ran a “stop and go” on what should have been a “hot route” in response to a blitz pickup that resulted in a pick to Bears CB Charles Tillman that was returned for a touchdown, giving Chicago a 10-0 lead. The ensuing possession saw Dallas march 80 yards on nine plays with Romo hitting Miles Austin for a 10-yard touchdown with 14 seconds remaining in the first half. It would be the Cowboys biggest highlight of the night.

At the 6:25 mark of the 3rd quarter, Chicago had its first fumble of the season when LB DeMarcus Ware sacked Bears quarterback Jay Cutler.

Mario Butler recovered for Dallas, only to have the Cowboys offense give the ball back a play later. Romo was hit from behind by Grapevine resident Henry Melton and the ball found its way to the grasp of Bears Pro Bowl LB Lance Briggs.

Briggs went on to return the interception for a touchdown -- his first pick returned for a TD since 2005.

The fumble aside, Cutler was nearly flawless in the second half, completing 11 of 12 passes for 219 yards and two touchdowns. That included a 34-yard score to Devin Hester beating rookie cornerback Morris Claiborne to start the second

half and a 31-yarder to Brandon Marshall with 6 1/2 minutes left. Marshall had a great game, catching seven passes for 138 yards, while being covered most of the night by Cowboys prized free agent cornerback Brandon Carr.

While the offense will get the bulk of the blame for the defeat, there should be questions as to why the Cowboys defense continually had eight guys in the box against a team that does not focus on running the ball and had their top rushing threat, Matt Forte, at less than 100 percent. When Cutler and his receivers had their way with the Cowboys defensive backs, there was little to no adjustment made to counter the success of the Bears passing game.

NOTES Three Cowboys’ defensive starters were declared inactive before the game because of injuries: DE Kenyon Coleman (knee), DT Jay Ratliff (ankle) and LB Anthony Spencer (pectoral muscle). A fourth starter, safety Barry Church, suffered a season-ending Achilles tear in last week’s victory over Tampa Bay. LB Bruce Carter joined the list early in the game due to a left hip injury.

A positive to take from this debacle from the Cowboys perspective: Jason Witten -- the NFL’s leader in drops -- came out of his funk with 13 catches for 112 yards and a touchdown.

The Cowboys are going into their bye week with their next contest not until October 14th on the road at the Baltimore Ravens. The meaty schedule continues with another road contest against Carolina followed by a home date with the defending Super Bowl champion Giants.

It will be an interesting two weeks in Dallas as Cowboys fans mull over the teams’ 2-2 start to the season.

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October 3 - 9, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

Set, Hut!

Coach Eddie G. Robinson

A Brief History of Football Video Games

By Taylor Feinstein - comments@blitzweekly.com Arts juggernaut slowly but surely would reign supreme over the market for decades to come sans the Madden 96 cancellation.

Atari Football (1978) – In terms of historical football video games, Atari Football is equivalent to Egyptian Hieroglyphs. It came first and with its monotone graphics of Xs and Os it may have been closer to caveman living room art than the graffiti of the pharaohs. But hey, you’ve got to start somewhere.

Joe Montana Football (1991) – The SEGA Genesis came out with a vengeance upon the release of the Super Bowl Champion endorsed video game. The biggest draw back to this one was no NFL license meant no NFL teams, bummer.

By Keysha Hogan - @TheKeysha

P

eople become legends because they are outstanding, time and time again. There is a dedication to excellence and unwavering ideals that set these resolved few apart. For the Grambling State University community their legend is Coach Eddie Robinson and they gathered in Dallas back in August to support his charity and honor his memory.

MVP of Super Bowl XXII and current head coach of the Grambling Tigers, Doug Williams spoke of his days as a player under Coach Robinson. “It was tough as a player under Coach Robinson, there was a price you had to pay but he said you have to separate the men from the boys and only the strong survive. And I’m fortunate enough to be one of those men who survived,” said Williams.

Just surviving wasn’t enough for Coach Robinson; he pushed them to succeed in spite of their obstacles. While coaching at Grambling he also held jobs at the local high

NFL Quarterback Club (1995) – Attempting to take a bit of the market share away from Madden, NFL Quarterback Club came with the endorsement of Steve young and Dan Marino.

Atari Realsports Football (1982) – It was a huge leap from their first attempt, but still landed short of realism. However, it did hold the market for five years.

Tecmo Bowl (1987) – One of the most nostalgic and beloved franchises to touch the virtual gridiron, Tecmo Bowl was the first game to carry an NFL license.

Leading the Way

Notably this game introduced features such as the “QB Challenge.”

NFL GameDay (1995) – The longest running competitor to Madden’s dominance, NFL Gameday finally gave way in 2005. But the game was a viable threat until losing the NFL’s licensing rights to EA’s exclusivity deal.

NFL Blitz (1997) – One of the most entertaining NFL video games, Blitz was a far cry from its realistic counterparts. It was brutal and exciting prompting the NFL to step in and tell them to tone it down.

John Madden Football (1988) – Hard to believe that this legend was born not on the NES or SEGA, but on the Apple II. The Electronic Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

school directing the band, coaching basketball, baseball and cheerleading on a budget of $46.

He was determined to prepare the youth of his community to be competitive and not fall victim to circumstance.

In his 56 years as head coach, he retired with 45 winning seasons, 17 Southwest Athletic Conference Championships and nine Black College Football National Championships. He also sent over 200 players to the NFL, AFL and CFL combined. Coach Robinson is honored and revered because he used his life to help others fulfill their dreams.

The invaluable mentoring that Coach Robinson gave his players didn’t end after graduation or draft day. James “Shack” Harris, the first black player to start as a QB in the NFL said, “When I came into the NFL it was so important to him.

He would call me every night to make sure I was

Photo Courtesy: Media Cleveland

getting the support that I needed. Those words of wisdom made a big difference in me being able to open the season as a starter.”

Current coach, Doug Williams has been doing his best to carry on the legacy that Coach Robinson started in 1941. “The most important thing for me is trying to get players to understand the legacy and history of Grambling State University and why a guy like Eddie Robinson should be honored. I think that’s something that’s tough to get across to them. It’s not about me; it’s about Grambling State University and the legacy that was built before me.”

Williams built upon that legacy as he became the new head coach in 1998. This season Williams is coaching his own son at the quarterback position and says it’s a joy because of the strong fatherly figure of Coach Robinson in his life. “Coach Rob and I never lost contact from the time I got to Grambling until the time he passed away. We always talked two or three times a week. I can almost put myself in the position of being one of his surrogate sons. “ And there is no doubt that Coach Robinson was proud of all of his many protégés over his career.

Players such as Willie Brown, Buck Buchanan, Charlie Joiner, and Willie Davis all studied under Coach Robinson at Grambling. With the strong foundation he provided they changed the face of professional football and ushered in an era of triumph in not only the historically black leagues but also across society.

“I think the biggest thing is that you take as many opportunities as you can to share with people how special this man was and what he’s done. I don’t think there’s ever been someone who’s done what he has done by touching so many lives and making a difference in this country like he has,” said “Shack” Harris.

The business of becoming a legend is a difficult road to undertake. But in Coach Robinson’s case he didn’t take that trip alone. He started out each year with a set of young men and made each of them his priority. He turned boys into men, and offered them his services as coach, father figure, mentor and friend.

To honor his memory the June Jones Foundation and SMU School of Education and Human Development have partnered together to raise funds for the 501 (C)(3) charitable Eddie Robinson Legacy Fund.

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

Eat It

Perhaps we have been going about this whole disarming Iran thing the wrong way.

Maybe we should try sending Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a 5 lb. Gummy Bear so world peace can finally be achieved. The behemoth Gummy is equal to 1,400 pint-sized bears and weighs in at 12,000 calories. Yum. www.vat19.com

WEAR It

Step your tired worn-out feet right into the cozy retreat of the world of New Balance. The sole sanctuaries of the X Ball and Buck 574 are the perfect mesh between comfort and combat. The hunting edition sneakers sport a Ball and Buck signature camo design in 10oz duck cloth paired with the always-classic NB grey suede upper body.

The first 176 pairs come in a vintage .50 cal ammo can. Perfect for the duck hunter who enjoys jogging. ($148)

GO THERE

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Head on down to Flora St. in the Dallas Arts District to checkout the Fiesta Latinoamericana in all its grandeur. There will be more than 50 performances paying homage to Latin cultures from Puerto Rico to Peru. Come out and enjoy dancing, music, food, and fun for the whole family. www.dfwinternational.org/ FiestaLatinoamericana/

www.ballandbuck.com

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October 3 - 9, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

It’s World Series or bust in 2012

The Boys of Never

Fictional Baseball’s Best Kenny Powers (Eastbound & Down) The Reverse Apache Master went from major league bad boy to demented P.E. teacher and was hilarious every step of the way.

Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

PLAYOFF PREVIEW

By Mark Miller - mmiller@blitzweekly.com

Nuke Laloosh (Bull Durham) Good thing you don’t need brains to be able to pitch…or clothes…technically I think you need clothes…yeah I’m pretty sure you do.

Mr. Mertile (The Sandlot) The owner of the beast was a friend of Babe Ruth and curator of one damned fine at home baseball museum.

Roy Hobbs (The Natural) Greatest baseball player who never lived.

Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Major League) This warlockin’ rockstar from Mars knew what winning was about even way back then.

While the road to get to the playoffs has been tougher, the chance to finally win a World Series is within reach for the Texas Rangers.

After winning the American League West title by nine games in 2010 and 10 last year, Texas has faced a much better division this year. That was a major reason they still hadn’t locked up the top spot in 2012 through Monday.

“We arrived in February and our focus was continuing to be the group that it was in 2011.

That’s what we wanted to do and I think we accomplished that,” said manager Ron Washington after his team clinched a playoff spot with a win in Sunday’s finale of a day-night double-header against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. “But there’s unfinished business. We’re very happy we’ve got another opportunity to play in the post-season again but our goal is not over with yet.”

Still, the veteran leader is happy to have another chance at the ultimate goal.

“I’m so proud of the guys in the clubhouse,” he said. “I’m proud of my coaching staff. I’m proud of the organization. We hung together through a lot of adversity never dropped our head when things weren’t going right and to me that’s what I’ve got in my clubhouse.”

Sunday’s win provided another example of the perseverance that has defined the current group. Down 4-0 in the first inning after closer Joe Nathan blew just his third save in the ninth inning of the opener, the Rangers rallied for an 8-4 lead before holding on to win 8-7. Nathan redeemed himself with a strong ninth inning.

“These guys don’t quit,” Washington said.

“They’re very resilient. They fight and the thing I love about them the most is there’s never any finger-pointing. We go down together; we go up together. They’re a class act.”

That’s been especially true after coming within one strike twice of taking the 2011 World Series.

“You would think there would be a letdown but because these guys take each game for what it is, there is no letdown,” Washington said. “They come out there and try to play the best they can every single day.”

Opponent

After Monday night’s 4-3 loss at Oakland, the Rangers still didn’t know their playoff fate. If they beat the Athletics either Tuesday night or Wednesday afternoon, they’ll repeat as A.L. West champions and open the playoffs on the road either Saturday or Sunday. If not, they will enter Friday’s one-game crap-shoot that is this year’s wild-card game. That contest could be at home or on the road.

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The Rangers do know they will play either the A’s, Baltimore Orioles, Detroit Tigers or New York Yankees.

Here’s how Texas fared against each.

Oakland – After clinching their first playoff spot since 2006 on Monday night, the A’s held a 9-8 season edge over the Rangers.

Oakland’s pitching has shined despite a record 99 starts by rookies. Entering this week, the A’s were second in the A.L. with a 3.51 ERA led by Jerrod Parker (13 wins), Tommy Milone (13) and A.J. Griffin (7), all with ERA’s below 4.00.

Orioles – The other American League surprise under Manager of the Year candidate and former Rangers skipper Buck Showalter. The team has been a virtual Rangers’ East with pitchers Tommy Hunter, Darren O’Day and Pedro Strop, catcher Taylor Teagarden, first baseman Chris Davis and outfielder Endy Chavez all playing key roles. The Rangers won five of the seven meetings this year.

Tigers – The team the Rangers beat in the 2011

A.L. Championship Series and in seven of 10 times in 2012 is back as Central Division champs.

While the biggest addition was first baseman Prince Fielder (.313 average, 30 home runs, 108 runs batted in), two holdovers have made even more noise. Third baseman Miguel Cabrera (.329, 44, 137) could become the first Triple Crown winner since 1967 while Justin Verlander (17-8, 2.64 earned run average) might win the Cy Young Award again.

Yankees – Now that shortstop Alex Rodriquez and first baseman Mark Teixeira have returned from injuries, New York is back at full strength.

Players like Derek Jeter (.316, 15, 58), Curtis Granderson (.228, 41, 102) and Robinson Cano (.308, 31, 88) have fueled the offense. On the mound, C.C. Sabathia, Hiroki Kurada and Phil Hughes each have at least 15 wins and Rafael Soriano has made up for the absence of closer Mariano Rivera with 42 saves in 46 chances. The Rangers, who split six games with the Yankees, would prefer they meet in the ALCS instead of the wild card because they don’t want to play one game in New York to advance.

Key Players Ian Kinsler/Elvis Andrus – The top of the lineup must reach base to allow the middle of the order to drive in runs.

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

Mike Napoli – One of last year’s playoff heroes (.345, 3 HR, 15 RBI) started 2012 slowly, then missed 33 games with an injured left quadriceps. He returned strong in 13 September games with six home runs and 15 runs batted in and really had his hitting stroke back in Sunday’s finale with two homers and six RBI. Alexi Ogando – If he pitches like he did early in the season (1-0, 2.48 until straining his right groin in June) the seventh inning and more could be history. If he reverts back to how he threw after returning from the disabled list (1-0, 4.20), the Rangers will have bullpen problems especially if Mike Adams can’t go with shoulder injury.

Bench – The reserves haven’t responded in limited playing time and must produce when needed for Texas to succeed in the playoffs.

The Rangers likely will be going with young but talented players like Mike Olt and Jurickson Profar in addition to Geovany Soto and Craig Gentry to back up their regulars.

Momentum

The Rangers entered last year’s playoffs as the hottest team in the majors with a 19-6 September record and 14 wins in their final 16 games. This year they finished the final full month at 15-13 including a 3-3 final homestand after a 3-3 road trip. Through Monday they had lost six of 10.

C (2) Mike Napoli Geovany Soto IF (7) Elvis Andrus Adrian Beltre Ian Kinsler Mitch Moreland Mike Olt/Brandon Snyder Jurickson Profar Michael Young OF (4) Nelson Cruz Craig Gentry Josh Hamilton David Murphy

11

RICK FAIRLESS´ STROKERS DALLAS PRESENTS

"!2%,9 ,%'!, TH ANNIVERSARY BASH OCTOBER

SP (4) Yu Darvish Ryan Dempster Matt Harrison Derek Holland RP (8) Mike Adams/Mark Lowe/Tanner Scheppers Scott Feldman Joe Nathan Alexi Ogando Roy Oswalt Martin Perez/Michael Kirkman Robbie Ross Koji Uehara

Outlook

While the team was inconsistent, some players had stellar Septembers. Beltre hit 11 homers and added 19 runs batted in while batting .337.

Young was next of the regulars at .301. On the mound, Darvish was 3-0 with a 2.21 earned run average with only seven walks and 39 strikeouts in 36.2 innings. Harrison was 3-2, 3.00, Holland 3-0, 3.96 and Dempster 3-2, 4.71. The best reliever was Uehara, who yielded just one hit in 9.2 innings, walking one and striking out 17.

Projected Roster

Figure the Rangers will wait right up to Thursday morning’s deadline to turn in their playoff roster.

Who is healthy will be the biggest factor especially with question marks in Adams and Olt.

Which Rangers team shows up will determine how long much longer they play in 2012. If it’s the April (17-6), June (19-9) or August (19-10) team, there could be a World Series banner hanging over Rangers Ballpark in Arlington. If it’s a repeat of July (9-14) or the inconsistency of May (14-14) and September, it might be one series and done.

The key is the offense returning to the top to bottom consistency of the past two seasons and it starts with getting people on base to allow the team to run and put pressure on the defense.

It also will take more of what has marked the Rangers the past three seasons.

Every time they desperately needed to win, they did. Even when their fans have become a bit nervous, they haven’t. They believe in each other so much they are able to put the past, even the immediate past, behind them quickly. “We don’t get worried. We’re competitive for a living so worry is nothing that comes to us,�

Young said. “We have guys who care for each other. We all put in a lot of hard work. We’re a veteran club that knows what it takes to win.� “We’re a team that’s tough to put away,� said second baseman Ian Kinsler last Thursday after beating Oakland. “Other teams know that we’re very good. They also know our chemistry is very good. They’ve got to fight through that.�

AL Wild Card Schedule Oct. 5 – at higher seed

ALDS Schedule

(All games televised by TBS/TNT) Oct. 6-7 – Game 1 at lower seed Oct. 7-8 – Game 2 at lower seed Oct. 9-10 – Game 3 at higher seed Oct. 10-11 – Game 4 at higher seed Oct. 11-12 – Game 5 at higher seed

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October 3 - 9, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

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Whitley

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

Drink More Beer pong and have a couple of pints knowing that there are legitimate ways to justify tonight’s microbrews.

G

Photo Courtesy: Tim Dobson

ot the urge to stop by your favorite local watering hole for happy hour?

Some folks may opt for wine because they believe that it’s healthier and won’t make you feel so bloated. That probably isn’t a concern of yours, but it is football season and you know you’re craving some of the “golden nectar”. While drinking until you’re hammered is tied into all sorts of badness, beer in moderation (read: two drinks or less) actually has some real health benefits. Be sure to avoid playing beer

Cheers is living proof!

1) It’s a Brain Beverage A study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association found that moderate drinking may be associated with better brain function. Men who consumed up to two drinks a day scored 20 percent higher on a cognitive functioning test than those who had less than one drink. Norm from the classic sitcom

2) It Can Keep You Hydrated Researchers at Granada University in Spain say that beer beats water when it comes to hydration.

Subjects ran on a treadmill in 104-degree temps until they couldn’t take it anymore, then their hydration levels, motor skills, and ability to concentrate were measures. Half of the runners were given two half pints of Spanish lager while

13

5 Good Reasons to have a Cold One!

By Henry Jenkins - comments@blitzweekly.com

the other half were given water. The beer drinkers scored slightly better--a result that’s attributed to sugars salts, and bubbles in the beer enhancing the body’s ability to soak up water. As a bonus, the carbs replaced the calories they just sweated out.

cholesterol, fights cancer, and gives your immune system a boost. This particular study was funded by a beer association and its findings have been backed up by unaffiliated experts who agree that, in moderation, the polyphenols in beer may have a positive effect on HDL and LDL.

3) It May Lower Risk of Heart Disease A number of studies have shown that moderate consumption of alcohol--beer included--may lower your risk of heart disease. In one Harvard study, healthy-minded types who rated their alcohol intake as moderate had 40 to 60 percent lower incidence of heart attack. Drink beer and live longer, simple math right?

4) It May Prevent Osteoporosis At the University of California recently researchers took to task the important job of analyzing 100 commercially-available beers. They found that most of them contained enough silicon to benefit bone health. Recommended daily dose: No more than two cold ones. And opt for Ales and Pale Ales, which have higher levels of the bonebolstering silicon than darker varieties. …And you thought you had to drink milk all this time.

5) Hops May Lower Cholesterol Research has found that hops--the bitter flavor that balances out the sweetness of beer-- is a great source of polyphenols, which lowers bad

Photo Courtesy: Alexa Clark

Organic Food Is Evil

By Brad LaCour - @bradsnotfunny

I

n life there are many scams that people get sucked into, and they come in many different shapes and sizes— whether it be Amway, Scientology, or marriage; but no con is more evil than organic food. People that celebrate organic food, i.e. dirty hippies, will tell you how healthy it is to live the organic lifestyle. How much better they feel now that the food they eat comes straight from the earth, untainted by the hand of man. But have you seen the vegan, bike riding, shades away from homeless people as they pour out of the local farmer’s market?

They don’t look healthy; they amble around looking like Tom Hanks in the last five minutes of Philadelphia. I smoke, drink, eat a truckload of red meat, and I’ve yet to be mistaken as the beneficiary of a telethon. To justify the insane prices charged for this crap, the clerk will sell you with an exotic story of how the food was grown. “Pepe the grape farmer picked each grape by hand, and then placed them in their own individual cloth bags he stitched together by the flickering light of a candle he made himself. So obviously you must understand why we can charge no less than eighteen dollars a pound for this fruit.”

And for all the bells and whistles, for all the interesting stories and crazy wrappers, the food spoils five seconds after air hits it. I made the mistake of buying a loaf of bread from one of these specialty shops, and in the span of 48 hours I was the

Photo Courtesy: ThornMonkey

proud owner of a third place in an elementary school Science Fair. What in the hell am I going to do with 16 slices of bread in less than two days? I’m no master chef, and even if I was I would be hard pressed to find enough creative ways to ingest a full loaf of bread.

To hell with natural and pure--load my food up with preservatives. I want the food to last the tests of time, to carry on even after an atom bomb hits the land and wipes away humanity as we know it. I want the next generation of explorers sifting through my remains to fully understand what my last meal was, because 80 years later that cupcake looks exactly the same as when I first unwrapped it.

I want when I look through the pantry, and I see a box of food advertising tickets to a movie now on basic cable, that it’s still okay to eat whatever’s inside.

We have to unite as consumers, stand up and say, “I want my canned peas to outlast my grand children!” We have to fight the growing health nuts that want us to feel guilty for eating a hot dog.

We have to convince that one hot chick working the organic produce section to bang a guy with no real aspiration in life. Okay, that last one was for me, but I still think they’re all good ideas we

should immediately start working on. If you want to buy into the ridiculousness of organic food, by all means go ahead. Just understand, for all the money you’re spending on “fresh” food, you

could join the Scientologists and become an emperor in space.

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October 3 - 9, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

Dredd Review

By Ethan Harmon - blackstar4556@gmail.com

T

he 90s were crammed with forgettable action films. Bullets flying across the screen, blood spraying from wounds, laughable one-liners; there were very few that stood out from the pack. One of these lackluster films, the 1995 dystopian sci-fi shooter Judge Dredd, has recently received a reboot. But unlike the disappointing Sylvester Stallone installment, the new release, Dredd 3D, successfully creates an entertaining story while also performing some fan service. For those who were fans of the comic, rest assured, Dredd keeps his helmet on for the entire runtime.

Dredd 3D follows Judge Dredd (Karl Urban), a cop given the full power of the judicial system, who sentences unlucky criminals to jail time, or in most cases, death. Dredd, after cleaning up the futuristic city with his special handgun, is given an assignment to train and watch over the latest Judge recruit, Anderson (Olivia Thirlby). Upon an investigation of a triple homicide, the two uncover a drug ring in a Megablock – massive buildings that rise two hundred stories tall – run by Ma-ma (Lena Headey), a former hooker turned kingpin.

With no escape, the two must battle their way up

the building and serve justice to Ma-ma and her group of thugs.

Director Pete Travis avoids all of the pitfalls of the previous outing of Judge Dredd. Instead of cramming in as many shoot-outs as possible into every frame, Travis allows the actors to carry themselves throughout each scene. Karl Urban does a fantastic job as the stoic, hardened Dredd. Instead of spitting out clever quips and shooting everything in sight, Urban instead allows his tone and lack of emotion to create a dark presence around the brutal Judge. Thirlby also does a great job as Anderson, showing how the trainee conflicts with her emotions while trying to become the hollow cop that Dredd has grown into. Lena Heady – some may remember her as Cerci from Game of Thrones – does not have as much screen time as the other actors, but she does well crafting a sociopathic villainess.

The one thing that is surprising about Dredd 3D is the fact that the character remains a complete mystery throughout the film. Usually, in movies such as this, the script provides a backstory for the protagonist to justify his/her actions. In this film, however, it is completely absent. Yet, such a Photos Courtesy: Ethan Harmon

Plate

Escapes Start: Real Food Fast

By Ethan Harmon - blackstar4556@gmail.com

F

ast food is a staple of American take-out.

McDonald’s, Burger King, and Taco Bell are lined up and down almost every street, offering quick, though unhealthy, food options for people who are on the go or do not wish to cook. But a little fast food restaurant called Start is hoping to change this. Start is fast food, sure, but it promises to give customers a homely and healthy alternative to the otherwise bland options served at other chains.

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Atmosphere Upon entering the restaurant, one can immediately tell that the experience will be unlike any other fast food chain. Customers fill each table, giving the interior a café feeling. Hand-painted foliage lines the walls and the wood seats make Start look as fresh as its food. The scents that linger from the kitchen make the mouth water.

The only downfall to this cozy little venue is the size. Because of the popularity and the lunch rushes, finding a seat can be challenging, especially if your party contains more than two people. On the plus side, there is an outdoor patio which has a few tables. If the weather is

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nice – and not too windy – then the patio is the perfect place to enjoy the meal.

Food Browsing through the menu will most likely have people scratching their heads… at first. Because the food is health conscious, the meal options may seem a bit odd. That is not to say that the food is difficult to figure out, but it is understandably strange to walk into a fast food restaurant and not find combos, let alone items that are offered at nearly every other chain. That being said, the menu is better off because of it.

Salads, wraps, burgers, and empanadas are the way to go when you go to Start. The “badder better burger” is the most popular item on the menu, and for good reason. Laced with applewood bacon, white cheddar, avocado, tomatoes, red onions, and dijonnaise (Dijon mustard/mayo fusion), the burger is a treat for the taste buds. To complement the main course, Start offers various sides, such as a salad, mixed greens, fresh fruit, tater tots, etc.

And to finish off the meal, why not add some tasty carrot cake muffins? Each is topped with fat-free cream cheese icing. Yum yum.

thing is actually refreshing. Audiences will want to know what makes Dredd tick, why he is the most notorious Judge, and why he is so cold.

Because these questions go unanswered, it makes the character much more interesting, and makes the viewer invest in the story. The viewers will only know that Dredd is a Judge and has to perform his job, and the movie is better off because of it.

Dredd 3D is a surprisingly well-made action movie. The cinematography is fantastic, capturing each shot with the right about of intensity. The action is hard-hitting, brutal, and sometimes very grotesque. Director Pete Travis and his cast of actors have tried very hard to make this film a stepup from the last outing and they have succeeded by leaps and bounds. In fact, this movie will most likely make you completely forget about the Sly version. For an action movie with a good story and depth, go see Dredd 3D, but do not be late, or it will be “judgment time.”

Service The cashiers are very friendly and helpful. Firsttimers are offered help with the menu and recommendations on what to choose. Smiles are always presented with a warm, cheerful attitude.

Food is delivered to your table and the manager walks around and greets every customer. Start excels in its customer service.

Blitz-Worthy Start is a fascinating restaurant. The idea of offering a healthy alternative to regular fast food was something that seemed out-of-place at first, but upon trying the food, I can honestly say that the crew has succeeded. Great service, comfortable atmosphere, and tasty food; what more can I say? It is a bit cramped, but that’s just nit-picking. Start delivers on taste and service. Be sure to stop by for lunch, or swing through the drive-thru on your way home.

What to eat: badder better burger, carrot cake muffins, chicken caesar wrap, cheese empanada Who’s there: Dallas locals, health-conscious eaters, people who are in a rush

START • 4814 Greenville Avenue • Dallas, TX • www.startrestaurant.net

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

The Essential Cool

15

Photo Courtesy: clicit

On The Canvas with Jabari Graham

By C. Patterson - cpatterson@blitzweekly.com

B

ehind every great work of art is an artist’s experience. Behind every great song is a singer’s soul. And behind Gentleman Jack’s Arts, Beats + Lyrics is a great man.

Jabari Graham has endured struggle to display creativity. Humble and determined he brought his vision for a blend of hip-hop and urban art from one city to the whole country. Now the world will get to see the quiet guy from Atlanta make some noise.

What was the feeling like when you first got a chance to see the event put together after working on it for so long?

JG: When I first did the show it was December 4, 2004. Basically I had gotten laid off from working with Universoul Circus so I had to find something to do. Do a job or make a job. I decided to create a job and since I was an art and music enthusiast, I always thought that if it didn’t work out I could just go back and live with my mom and just figure it out. I found this small venue in Little Five Points of Atlanta, which is kind of like Deep Ellum it’s just a real artsy town. So now that I had my space I had to look for the artists. But I was new on the art scene and when I would inquire about artists I would get the “no’s” and I would take pictures of artists’ graffiti and ask if you recognized this artist and would get a lot of closed doors. I finally met one artist who introduced me to another and that’s how I got on – a sort of trickle down effect. The music part was kind of easy. I knew a couple DJs and some bands. With the circus, I was with the marketing department so I knew how to promote. That night seeing everything on the wall and the people…some people said I was panicking because I was like what if no one comes? But we ended up packing that spot and the community really accepted it.

How did Gentleman Jack become involved?

JG: Jack Daniels wanted to activate a program that didn’t necessarily want to book huge acts like a Kanye West, but rather something more organic that wasn’t overshadowed by a spectacular performer. My name was thrown in the pot with Arts Beats + Lyrics and they liked it. We had four

test markets: Charlotte, Jackson MS, Atlanta, and Birmingham. And we kicked ass in all of them. In every city you see the same people, the ones that didn’t want the mainstream, they didn’t want to go to the clubs, they wanted to try something different. I see the same artists, who get closed by galleries because galleries have their tight circles and I wanted to give them a platform so it worked out. We expanded to more markets and ended up switching from Jack Daniels to Gentleman Jack and here we are today.

What was the one singular moment in your building process with the concept that let you know that this idea would succeed?

JG: Really it was Sneaker Pimps [Global Sneaker Culture]. When they first did their tour they hit Atlanta and that’s when I was just planning it out. I was still in the writing it down and getting my thoughts together phase and still kind of doubting myself. Then I went to some art shows and thought, “I can make this funky.” When I went to Sneaker Pimps I saw all those things and I talked to Peter [Fahey] and told him here’s what I’m trying to do and he gave me good advice and I took it and ran. But actually seeing [the Sneaker Pimps tour] made me know that [Arts, Beats + Lyrics] could work. He had his platform with the shoes and I had mine with art – canvas wise. I still thought mine was different and I could put my own spin to it.

put it together. But as far as putting it together and life, I would say don’t be afraid to take risks because you never know what can happen. Also to do your best. I love what I am doing right now; I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It helped make my life a little bit easier.

What is the future of Arts, Beats + Lyrics?

JG: This year we are able to go to three good cities where we have always been requested. So right now that future is happening with New York, LA, and Miami.

I would like to take it across the pond. A lot of people tell me if we did it somewhere like Tokyo it would be off the chain. Definitely Paris, so we hope that is in the future. Also collaborating with more artists because I know a lot of good underground artists and there are notable artists that I don’t want to approach now, but I want to get AB +L’s name up there to see if we can collab with a David Choe or a [Mister] Cartoon or some other dope artists out there.

For pictures of Gentleman Jack’s Arts, Beats + Lyrics in Dallas log onto BlitzWeekly.com

What are the biggest parallels to you between art and life?

JG: Man, I can’t say art because I just Photo Courtesy: dapperd

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16

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

Gearshift: 2013 Acura ILX Hybrid Pedal Down

W

hen I first saw the all-new ILX from Acura at the Detroit Auto Show earlier this year, I wondered to myself, “Why?” Acura already had the TSX smaller sedan with premium content and an attractive appearance so why would the “luxury” division of Honda create what appears to be a competitive model in its own stable?

The new ILX is based on the Honda Civic architecture but looks little like its pedestrian counterpart. And short of calling the new Acura a modern Integra, the automaker comes close by choosing “I” for its moniker.

Style-wise, the new ILX reminds me of a small Buick and features a rear shoulder bump similar to the Acura ZDX cross-thingy. Up front, Acura has tamed down the garish mono-beak as well.

Acura calls its target customers for ILX “youth with maturity” and while I am sure there are many out there filling this bill I still see a lot of 20somethings living at home. This YWM crowd, the younger members of Gen X and Y, are successful, urban, young business professionals moving into the luxury car segment but still very much in touch with their youthful mindset and lifestyle.

The 2013 Acura ILX Hybrid we recently tested is for the youth-with-maturity-with-a-conscience-

By David Goodspeed - dgoodspeed@blitzweekly.com

but-not-a-lead-foot crowd and is one of three powertrain options available on the new ride.

While only offered as a sedan initially, the ILX competes against the Audi A3 and Lexus CT200h, according to Acura, as well as going up against the new Buick Verano, another new entry premium sedan with Buick styling (go figure).

After a week with the new ILX I am still asking myself, “Why?” The hybrid powertrain is the same as used in the Civic Hybrid – an anemic 1.5-liter SOHC I-4 engine mated to Honda’s fifth-generation hybrid electric motor system using Lithium-Ion battery technology and pared with a CVT gearbox. If the fuel economy results mimicked those of the Civic it would be tolerable but coming in at a mere 39 mpg city and 38 mpg highway is not enough, in my opinion, to satisfy customers.

I am going to go out on a limb here and predict response to the ILX Hybrid akin to that of the Lexus HS250h hybrid (a poor response for those of you not familiar with that model).

One of the things I truly missed in the ILX is the Acura feel – the car just did not ride and drive like an Acura – pity. And on the point of interior space and design, while the layout is sufficient, I kept hitting my head on the headliner every

time the car went over a bump and I had the seat lowered all the way. I am not a tall person and feel this is a bit of an oversight as well. If the vehicle was designed for the 90th percentile female, fine, come out and say that, but for any average male (or larger) this car is gonna hurt you.

Again, all my experience with the ILX was with this Hybrid model, I hope it improves with the gas engine cars that feature different wheels and tires.

These seemed so overinflated occupants hear and feel every ripple in the road surface.

Our tester arrived in the Tech version so it was loaded to the gills with gadgets and devices

Photos Courtesy: Acura

including voice-recognized navigation, multi-view rear camera, Acura-Link infotainment, surround stereo system, satellite radio, GPS-linked dualzone climate control, and leather sport seats.

Pricing for the ILX Hybrid with Tech rolls in at $34,400 with emissions ratings very high thanks to auto-stop and the hybrid technology.

Perhaps “youth with maturity” will be drawn to this vehicle but “mature with maturity” consumers may do a bit more browsing.

.com Treadwall So not in to conventional workouts, huh? Let me introduce you to the Treadwall. This Bruce Waynes-esque training tool brings a four-foot wide climbing area into your home that works just like a treadmill – except this one is vertical.

The Pro model lets you take on inclines/declines of +five to -20 degrees. Peter Parker beware. ($TBA)

WORX Semi-Automatic Screw Driver This super tool will make you go nuts hanging and re-hanging things around the house. It comes with two rapid reload cartridges that carry six bits a piece and uses a slide action system to change from Philips head to flat in a jiffy. The handyman perfected. ($50)

Eva Solo Foldable Ice Scraper Ok so we may never need this in North Texas, but that doesn’t make this any less cool. The Eva Solo Foldable Ice Scraper has two sides: hard plastic and soft rubber to meet all your scraping needs. When you are done just fold it into its stainless steel handle and away you go. ($27)

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VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

Q: Why did God give women a belly button?

A: So there’s a place to stash your gum on the way down.

Q: Why are there no smart husbands?

A: Smart men don’t get married.

Q: What did the sign outside the whorehouse say?

A: Beat it. We’re closed.

Q: What do you call a nanny with breast implants?

A: A faux pair.

The Nun A cabdriver picked up a nun. When she got into the cab, the driver couldn’t stop staring at her. “I have to ask you a question,” he said, “and I hope you won’t be offended.”

“My son,” the nun said, “I’ve seen too much of the world to be offended by anything you might say. What is your question?”

“Well,” he said, “I’ve always had a fantasy of being kissed by a nun.” The nun smiles and said, “I’ll grant your wish on two conditions. First, you must be single, and second, you must be a catholic.”

The cabdriver became very exited and said. Yes I’m single and I am Catholic.”

“Okay,” the nun said. “Pull into the next alley.”

The nun fulfilled his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they got back on the street. The cabdriver began to cry. “My dear,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me,” the cabdriver said. “I lied. I must confess; I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun replied, ‘That’s okay. My name is Kevin, and I’m going to a Halloween party.”

Libra September 23 – October 22 A jury of your peers will find you guilty of a crime that you didn’t commit.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Your first instinct this week will be to fight back, while your second instinct this week will be to find your right arm.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 While you’ve always believed in love at first sight, after five years of marriage you are starting to question “love at repeated sight”.

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Blitz Funnys

RULES: WINNER MUST WEAR CONDOM Catarina Migliorini, 20, is auctioning off her virginity for a one-time tryst, promising to donate part of the money to house the poor in her native Santa Catarina, Brazil. In a statement to the Sao Paulo Daily, Migliorini swore she was not a hooker and still believes in love. “For me, it’s not prostitution. When someone does something once in his or her life, this is not considered a profession.” (As of September 27, 2012, top bidding equaled $160,000 USD) GOODYEAR/LOHAN AN OXYMORON? September 26, 2012, NBC News

reported the tire maker Goodyear had offered to fly actress Lindsay Lohan to their headquarters in Akron, Ohio, for private driving lessons with a professional driver. In the meantime, Lohan was planning to sue a cook for slander who claimed she’d hit him with her Porsche SUV, saying she was “slurring” and “smelled like alcohol.” (Lohan is known for failed drug tests/probation violations/DUI/misdemeanor drug possession/grand theft.)

HIS ARMS COULD BE SEATBELTS While traveling, sitting in your car’s seat, ever wonder what’s inside that seat supporting your comfort? The Daily Mail tells of a 20-year-old immigrant from the West African country of Guinea, who tried illegal entry to Morocco from the Spanish enclave of Melilla. Using one friend as a driver and one as a passenger, he’d removed and redesigned the front passenger seat with a matching cover, with him being the inside padding, before having his friend “sit” on his body so it could pass the Beni-Enzar border crossing.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Your entire life will flash before your eyes this week accompanied by the theme to The Benny Hill Show proving that God does have a sense of humor.

Aries March 21 – April 19 Word to the wise: In life, sometimes you have to take the good with the bad, even if that means pretending not to be attracted to her mother.

Cancer June 22 – July 22 While not socially acceptable to most, you’ll solve your problem with your inlaws through an arduous process of elimination.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 This weekend you will discover the secret to a happy marriage – it’s so simple you’ll take great pleasure in keeping it secret from your wife.

Taurus April 20 – May 20 Congratulations! This Saturday you’ll debunk an old myth about lightning never striking the same place twice when medics remove your charred, lifeless body from the street.

Leo July 23 – August 22 You’ll be reunited with your long-lost love as soon as you dig her up from the backyard.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 Your Thursday afternoon enema will soon show you what you are really made of!

Gemini May 21 – June 21 After a string of rejections, you’ll finally find love on Harry Hines Blvd.

ACROSS 1. Slant 6. Quaint outburst 10. Alert 14. Partridge 15. Connects two points 16. Chills and fever 17. Loosen, as laces 18. Black, in poetry 19. An indefinite period 20. Task 22. Lummox 23. 3 in Roman numerals 24. Doorkeeper 26. Zany 30. Fortuneteller’s card 32. Of a pelvic bone 33. Secretariat was one 37. Loyal (archaic) 38. Burrowing mammals 39. Breeze 40. Excited 42. Malodorous

43. Chasms 44. Pledge 45. Patter 47. 2,000 pounds 48. A soft sheepskin leather 49. Intemperate 56. As well 57. Person, place or thing 58. Part of a stair 59. A Maori club 60. If not 61. Assumed name 62. Historical periods 63. Marsh plant 64. Not the most

Virgo August 23 – September 22 The good news is that you won’t die alone this weekend. The bad news is that you’ll be on a crowded airplane.

DOWN 1. Shade of blue 2. Religious sisters 3. Handguns 4. 53 in Roman numerals 5. Melancholy 6. Lacquer ingredient 7. Scoff at 8. Nameless 9. False teeth 10. An observationtower 11. Nimble 12. Gossip 13. Require 21. Bite 25. Comes after Mi and Fah 26. Gentle 27. Away from the wind 28. Found on rotary phones 29. Gloomy 30. Anklebone 31. Air force heroes 33. Top of a house

34. Liturgy 35. Hissy fit 36. Countercurrent 38. Hatmaker 41. Regret 42. Burial 44. Lay turf 45. Pertaining to the Sun 46. Noodles 47. In shape 48. Sexual assault 50. Infiltrator 51. Cogitate 52. Anger 53. Largest continent 54. Orange pekoe 55. At one time (archaic)

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October 3 - 9, 2012

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4

The CLOSER

Pocketful of Peens Thorned Not Scorned

Posie Pocket has experienced some puzzling dating situations. Instead of hardening her heart, she’s reflecting on these encounters with hope and bright eyes for the future. By sharing her stories, she’s revealing the lessons learned and getting a good laugh while on the lookout for love.

Overdose of Ozone Almost every girl can recall a situation where she was fiercely uncomfortable in a “date scenario” but continued to drag the night out. I have mine and it pierces my mind vividly and kind of makes me cringe. We will call him “Ozone.” Ozone is not a peen, just weird as hell. I am going to blame some of the following anecdotes on the fact I had a fever and was pumping meds through my sickly little body.

I was hanging out with a guy friend (we‘ll call him Tattoo). Perhaps you would call him more of an acquaintance. He came to a get-together at my house one time and never pursued me. Would have definitely given him a little shimmy, but the dude wasn’t giving me anything to work with.

What a shame. Anyway, I met Ozone through Tattoo and Ozone was making eyes at me in the first five seconds. Standard love triangle sitch. The actual guy you’re into isn’t feeling it, but his friend with pit-bull nipples is obsessed with you.

So here’s how the night went down. Ozone invites me to hang out for some wine tasting in a group setting. I think to myself, “I’ll flirt a little with Tattoo and maybe there’s a chance.” Meanwhile, Ozone is sizing me up and ready to put a ring on it. Ozone offered to pick me up and take me to the restaurant. Looking back, he was thinking he was courting me. I was thinking of how I could get Tattoo to hit on me.

He comes into my home and my roommate gives me a look like, “what the hell?!” As mentioned before, I go for the bookish boys typically. This Ozone guy was a Texas oil cowboy and pumped the iron. He looked very meaty and had a sharp edge to say the least. I guaranteed my concerned roomie, “Oh we’re just friends. This guy is intriguing and fun.”

Let’s recap the goods he brought to my house.

After showing us his inkedfilled chest of the heart chakra, he provides me with ozone water to drink and an ozone balm to rub on my skin.

Since I was ill, he swore this would do the trick.

“None of that antibiotic crap that’s a hoax.” I’ll take Amoxicillin over ozone water, thank you very much. My roommate insists I don’t drink the ozone water, so he takes a swig himself to prove he’s not drugging me in an attempted abduction. I pass on the magical water but politely dab a little ozone balm on my wrist. It’s the least I could do since he brewed this shit in his garage.

We get in his fancy Range Rover and head to the restaurant. I quickly realize that it’s feeling like a date. As the night unfolds, Tattoo shows up to the restaurant late and I’m feeling more and more out of my element and disinterested.

Ozone asks if I’m hungry and “let’s get out of here and get some dinner.” Looking back now, I could just kick myself in the rear. Why the heck did I continue to spend the evening with him? Of course he thought I was interested!

We go to a hippie-ish organic place that wasn’t my scene. To top off the awkwardness of the night, he finds an appropriate time between the couscous and farm fresh chicken to tell me he used to be a nymphomaniac. How the hell do you respond to a left field statement like that on a first “date?” My silence encouraged him to explain himself further. He is now abstinent until he finds “the one.” Two years and counting of a sex-free life. I wanted to scream, “Well honey that sure as hell ain’t gonna be me. As far as you’re concerned, this chick has on a chastity belt.” I just nodded politely as if he commented on the weather.

It gets worse and I take full responsibility for my lack of being bold and assertive. I’m shocked, as I’m usually a little too ballsy for being a girl. In this situation, I was a timid little peach as I let him talk me into a movie. Yep this was definitely a date. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience and couldn’t say, “take me home.” Once again, I’m blaming the meds and my rotting-brain fever. At one point during the rom-com, he curls

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his bulging sausage fingers into mine. I quickly retreat, reaching into my purse for the first object I could find. How could he not tell from my body language I wasn’t into it?

Finally a little after midnight, he returns me to my casa. Dreading the good night moment, I start throwing out words like “friend” and anything else that could insinuate this wasn’t a date, even though he paid for everything. What a rude little bitch I was. Not letting me open one door the whole night, he parks the car and gets out to open the passenger door. He stared into my eyes and I wondered if I should shake his hand or maybe a polite curtsy? What’s the friendliest action I could take? Didn’t want him thinking I’d be reaching for any other appendages on his steroid-infused bod. He nabs my cheek with his lips and says he can’t wait to see me. Next, I go up to the door and it’s bolted. At this point I want to cry. I called my roommate seven times in a row and she didn‘t answer.

I couldn’t get into the garage to get my car.

My roommate was not answering the door or her phone. What was I going to do? Ask him to take me to the nearest Holiday Inn Express? I had visions of me being forced to spend the night at his place. Glimpses of sex trinkets and beakers filled with ozone flashed in my head. Don’t make me spend the night with the ozoneobsessed former sex maniac! Just as I was about to burst into tears, I hear the happiest sound in the world at that moment. The door was being unlocked. My roomie answered the door and I quickly sprung inside the safety of my own walls. I have never felt such a sense of relief after a social situation.

Although I didn’t handle the night the best way, I managed to escape unscathed. I smelled like ozone for 48 hours but I guess that’s what I get.

Ozone continued to contact me via text and I made it very clear I wanted him in the friend zone. I guess our energies didn’t match up as well as he thought with all that energy mumbo jumbo he spouted off during the night. Lesson learned don’t get in an uncomfortable situation with a guy you’re not interested in. And for me, this confirmed my desire to be with a bookish boy more than ever. After this date, I longed for a slightly nerdy guy who was just into regular, non-nympho sex.

The

AnsweR Guy with

Arthur Bellfield

Dear Arthur, I hate my boyfriend’s cologne, but every time I buy him one he says that he doesn’t like the scent and gives it away to one of his friends.

He has worn the same cologne since high school…he’s in his 30s! How do I gently say, “Your cologne makes me want to vomit in my mouth daily”?

Signed, Alexandra Thanks for writing Alexandra! I sincerely do not want you to vomit in your mouth every time you’re around your boyfriend. In fact the sad truth is that men tend to be crazy creatures of habit. I know a guy who swears that he smashes more chicks when he walks into a bar wearing his favorite 80’s t-shirt. And, another guy who claims that the Dallas Cowboys win their home games every time he stops bathing for a few days. The point is that we all cling to the most ridiculous of things.

There’s no point in beating around the bush with some things, and this is one of them. The only people benefiting from you buying him different colognes are his friends. I’m sure they’re used to his skunk cologne.

You should have a discussion with your boyfriend about the cologne he’s wearing and how it makes you feel. VOMITING GIRLFRIENDS is a serious VIOLATITION of all dating rules!

You’re at a vulnerable point in your relationship where the self-loathing manifestos of truth decide to take over. You’re no longer disregarding the little things that your partner does that annoy you. Or, PISS YOU OFF! Start the conversation like this, ”I think I love you when you’re not around and I’m not inhaling the vapors of your sweat covered up with the stench of your cologne. One of the two has the go… I choose the cologne!”

Send in your questions to arthur@blitzweekly.com

VOL. 5 - ISSUE 4 october 3 - 9, 2012

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