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Kareem is in the house

June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40

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On Deck Pacquiào’d!

R SPORTS NEWS On Deck Bad Boys Bad Boys Body Movin’ When I Grow Up Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Interview Best Wrestlers Ever Rangers Report Summer Jobs Cover Story Miami Victory Party The Thunder Years NBA Finals Preview BLITZ Entertainment Jessica Stone Soul Foundation Batman: Night of Owls Buttons Addison Seven Things in Seven Days Hollywood Shuffle Jada Pinkett Smith Interview Movie Review Hennessey Venom GT Gadgets Blitz Funnys Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News The CLOSER Weekend Relaxer The Answer Guy 2-Minute Drill

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Patterson Graphic Designer Michael H. Lee Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Photo Keith Allison Cover Design Michael H. Lee Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors

3 3 4 5 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 13 14 14 15 15 15 16 16 17 18 18 18

Staff Writers Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, David Goodspeed, Keysha Hogan, Frank LaCosta, Mateeka Lanee, Mark Miller, Tommy Smith Contributing Photographers

Adri A., Keith Allison, Secom Bahia, Jeffery Beall, Mike Burton, Phil Davis, Dylan, Elaine, Wally Gobertz, Shahed K.,Ed Menard, Ted Murphy, Brandi N., Jason Poulton, Mylyn Ramos, Eva Rinaldi, Ted Van Pelt, Nat Welch, Shaun Wong Professional Rockstars, lumierefl, rocor, tempusfugate

Contributing Writers

Cote Bailey, Arthur Bellfield, Drew Davis, Jason Fleck, Lance Gozman, Ethan Harmon, Martin Iheke, Angela Navin, Johnny Reeves, Aeryn Ripley, Quick Steve

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arely do I step to the keyboard to express feelings of anger or to spew opinions based on conjecture. Today is different. Relax, I will not make hyperbolic statements like boxing as we know it has changed forever or that professional sports has swan-dived off of the precipice of integrity into the chasm of the wretched and irrevocable bog of shame. No that would be too drastic and cause you to immediately shrug off my assessments as trivial. Instead, I will simply offer the observations of a man who witnessed one of the best fighters of the last decade being robbed of his dignity, pride, and his title in the full view of millions of sets of eyes. That is except for the two sets of eyes that judged the split decision victory against Manny Pacquàio in favor of Timothy Bradley. Still too drastic? Then you didn’t see the fight. Manny Pacquàio is without a doubt a curious character. He has had a questionable at best run as a congressman in his home of the Philippines, terrible tax-paying citizen, and has some pretty archaic views on social hot button issues. But none of those things are the reason why we know Manny Pacquàio’s name. We know his name because he is a furious and dedicated pain specialist that until June 9, 2012 hadn’t known the taste of defeat for seven years. Exhibit A Timothy Bradley – A 28-year-old undefeated boxer from Cathedral City, California that until a week ago was not a part of the sports world’s vernacular and certainly was nowhere near part of the sports almanac lexicon. Prior to that June night we all believed Timothy Bradley was a nonfactor in Pacquàio’s career. We should have been right. Bradley made his career beating people of little to no significance. Well, that was until last Saturday night. Exhibit B Bob Arum – the fight’s promoter was quoted saying to SI’s Chris Mannix in reference to the ridiculous decision, “I have the best eye doctor in the world. If they get on a plane to LA, I would pay for their visit.” The chances of Bradley besting Pacquàio at the end of a fight that Manny had clearly dominated would be as likely as one of those wildebeests on National Geographic being declared the victor while the lioness is still digesting its entrails. Bradley made jaws drop from their former position on the floor all the way down to the basement when after the fight he said, “I thought I won the fight…I didn’t think he

By C. Patterson – comments@blitzweekly.com

was as good as everyone says he was. I didn’t feel his power.” Somewhere out on the Serengeti there is a lion with a terrible case of indigestion. Exhibit C Money and Numbers – Someone in Sin City made millions off of the most unlikely champion in recent memory. The city has had its fair share of questionable and dare we say immoral indiscretions. According to ringside

punching statistics, Pacquàio’s glove connected with Bradley 253 times to Bradley’s 159 times. And Compubox tallied Pacquàio landing more punches in 10 of 12 rounds. Now in modern mathematical circles it is generally upheld that 10 is greater than two. The Associated Press’ scorecard had Pacquàio winning 117-111. Our friend Bob Arum from Exhibit B weighed in by saying, “I’ll make a lot of money off [of] the rematch, but this was outrageous.” Exhibit D The Witnesses – At the announcement of one of boxing’s most controversial decisions the crowd at the MGM Grand Arena erupted in boos in almost the same deafening pitch as we at home did. We were vocally upset not because of our deep admiration of Manny Pacquàio, but because we were all witness to a crime much like the fans of the 1919 World Series. A crime that appeared as if the powers that be decided to make marionettes of the stars of the evening for the purpose of financial gain. Or perhaps I am being too cynical on the matter. Did I ever once consider the possibility of simple human error? Maybe that thing right in front of your face that looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck is actually a very determined Grizzly that is mastering the art of international espionage. But probably not. It’s probably just a plain old duck sitting right in front of your face. Pacquàio won the fight, Bradley got the belt. Simple as that.

Still Lindsay Another day, another runin with the law for Lindsay Lohan. This week the 25year-old disaster machine is dealing with the fallout of crashing her Porsche into the back of an 18-wheeler last week and then allegedly attempted to bribe the victim. She also falsified Yay, you’re famous! So your cellmates police reports saying she will know your name! was not the driver.

Uncle Walter on: Madonna’s Nip Slip

After seeing that on the YouTube, I decided to put out my joint and let the cataracts take over.

When Fist Pumping Goes Wrong Last weekend a Jersey Shore girl was arrested. Was it Snooki or JWoww? No…then who cares? Well, it was Deena Cortese and she spent a little time in a tanning bed-less salon courtesy of Seaside Heights PD. Deena was partying and dancing in the streets and found herself in the back of squad car for disorderly conduct. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40

Body movin’

gender stereotypes at the gym, are they true or not?

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

By Jason Fleck– jason.fleck@mavs.uta.edu

alking into any gym or fitness club people are greeted by men filling up the weight room while women are either using the cardio equipment or participating in group fitness classes such as yoga, Zumba, body pump, etc. It is the stereotypical feeling that group fitness classes are too girly for men to participate in and most men steer away from any activity that is seen as the least bit feminine. There is no absolute answer to

was feminine. After getting home I fell right to sleep and the next day woke up more sore than I ever been after any of my resistance training sessions, but I couldn’t lay around pouting (even though I wanted to) since the Zumba class was just a couple hours away. The only thought going through my head was how Zumba would treat, I was afraid of getting beat up yet again. Arriving at the club, it was time to shake it. Zumba ended up being a lot less difficult than yoga. It was such a fun

where those gender views in the gym come from, but walk into most gyms and that gender scene will probably remain the same. Being a guilty party of those views myself, I decided to participate in a yoga and Zumba class and judge for myself just how those gender views hold up. The women to men ratio for both classes were highly in favor of the women. Walking into rooms full of women was a bit uncomfortable; they were surprised to see me participating in the classes. I started out with the yoga class, thinking there would be nothing to it. Unfortunately, I was in for quite a surprise. Almost every pose we went through was a lot more difficult to perform than I expected. Looking around at the other participants in the class my face winching of pain and drenched in sweat, it seemed as though I was the only person in the class struggling. I quickly understood the girly stereotype was completely wrong and felt like less of a man only because the poses were pushing me to my limit, not because the class

and high-energy workout, the hardest part was trying not to look like a fool. I received lots of stares, confused faces, and a couple of giggles due to my lack of coordination and flexibility. I made it through the class drenched in sweat and ready to lie down. After the experiences of those classes there is absolutely no way I can say those classes are only for women. I will never again judge a workout without first trying it out. Getting out done by every woman in the yoga class and feeling just how good of a workout Zumba is, I now have tons of respect for every workout out there. I have a better understanding of the benefits of both yoga and Zumba. I will keep making a fool of myself to get the results and I encourage other guys to do the same, because they are missing out.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 june 13 - 19, 2012

Photos Courtesy: Jeffery Beall, Jason Poulton, Ted Van Pelt, Ted Murphy, Mylyn Ramos, MPR, rocor

Archie Manning

kids that followed in a daddy’s footsteps By Lance Gozman– comments@blitzweekly.com

Seeds: Peyton & Eli Manning With three Super Bowls titles between the two of them Archie’s boys have elevated the Manning name to legendary status.

when I grow up

Muhammad Ali Seed: Laila Ali Muhammad isn’t the only Ali that floats and stings. This former Super Middleweight Champion retired at 24-0 with 21 knockouts.

Bobby Hull Seed: Brett Hull The “Golden Jet’s” son, the “Golden Brett,” scored 70 goals in three-straight seasons. And is currently third all-time in career goals with 741.

Dale Earnhardt Seed: Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Junior has kept the tires warm since his father’s passing in 2001. “The Intimidator’s” son has won 18 Sprint Cup Series races and 23 Nationwide Series races.

Cecil Fielder Seed: Prince Fielder The son of one of the best Detroit Tigers of all-time is now one himself. As a three-time All-Star, two-time Sliver Slugger winner and 50 HR in a season hitter, Prince is filling his dad’s shoes quite nicely.

Photos Courtesy: Secom Bahia

“Smitty” was in the 761st Tank Battalion. I didn’t know anything about it when I was kid. It was not until some three years after I retired from playing professional basketball that I found out he was part of the 761st Tank Battalion and he had done some pretty remarkable things. They really never got the recognition that they deserved so having the opportunity to write about them and let everyone know exactly what they did for me was a great opportunity.

he Hall of Famer, actor, producer, philanthropist and straight shooter gave Blitz Weekly a call to fill us in on what’s been going on in the life of a legend.

We hear you’ll be in Dallas later this month. Can you share with us the purpose of your visit? I’m going to be there to speak at a conference on STEM education.

So, what has the experience of being a Global Cultural Ambassador been like? It has been pretty good. I have only taken one trip so far; I went to Brazil and talked about the value of education. Also, I answered questions that people had about what life in America is all about.

You have gotten the chance to be around so many amazing people including great athletes and individuals that utilize tremendous focus in their lives. Who has stuck out the most to you for their work ethic and accomplishments? That’s a tough one. I have known great musicians like Miles Davis, Thelonious Monk, Sonny Rollins, and John Coltrane. I also knew people like John Wooden and Bruce Lee.

a conversation with greatness

Kareem Abdul-jabbar

By C. Patterson– c.patterson@blitzweekly.com

That’s awesome. How did you get involved with STEM Solutions? Well, you know I just did a children’s book about black inventors and all the inventors that I talk about are mathematicians, chemists, engineers, and people of that nature. The whole idea was to give kids, minority kids especially, an idea of what they can do with their lives that has nothing to do with sports or entertainment. And for most minority kids a lot of times they feel as though those are the only two areas in which they can succeed.

With everything going on in your life doing that again if I got the right opportunity to right now, do you have any interest in tell the right story. returning to the movies? Well, I produced a movie on the Harlem What brought about your interest in the Renaissance basketball team [On the Shoulders 761 Tank Battalion? of Giants] and it was very well received and it has My father, who was a policeman, was a good been a good experience for me. I wouldn’t mind friend of a guy named Leonard Smith and

Is there advice you can give Blitz Weekly readers about how to become more successful? Number one: Knowledge is power. And number two: You don’t have to give up your dream. Always pursue your dream. Don’t let anybody tell you that it can’t be done or you’re not worthy of achieving it.

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June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 Photos Courtesy: Shaun Wong, Eva Rinaldi, Dylan, Mike Burton

Best wrestlers ever Kings of the ring

r. Perfect In the ring: Posthumous WWE Hall of Famer, world champion, and two-time Intercontinental champion.

Appearance: Blue spandex, wavy blonde surfer hair, and a championship belt…yep that’s just about sums up Perfect. Flare: The slick talking Perfect had a larger than life persona that has kept a fan base enamored with him long after his death in 2003. Ted DiBiase In the ring: This guy collected more awards than Beyonce at the Grammys. From King of the Ring to Feud of the Year. DiBiase is a living legend of wrestling excellence.

By Johnny Reeves – @BlitzWeekly

Flare: His icon voice and feuds will live on forever. Their isn’t a wrestler alive that doesn’t know Andre the Giant. Rowdy Roddy Piper In the ring: Pro Wrestling Illustrated 1982’s Most Inspirational Wrestler of the Year played every moment in the ring like a bagpipe at William Wallace parade. Appearance: A kilt and a smile. The rest of Roddy was all old-fashion ass whippings. Flare: Hot Rod was a natural at what he did. Fans respected the man and the athlete beyond the character.

Appearance: Draped in gold and diamonds not to mention fancy Italian suits. Flare: He’s the friggin’ Million Dollar Man. The guy had a bodyguard that sat ringside during matches. Now that’s boss.

Ric Flair In the ring: With a total of 16 World Championships, the WWE Hall of Fame inductee is as arrogant as ever. Appearance: Imagine if Liberace could kick your ass. Yep vomited a little in your mouth didn’t ya?

Andre the Giant In the ring: As the master of the Double Underhook Suplex and Kneeling Reverse Piledriver the Giant was one of the sports best freakishly large competitors. Appearance: Well, his last name is “the Giant” so I think that pretty much sums it up. Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Flare: Woooooo! The Nature Boy is a star that still shines as bright today as he did in 1983. To be continued…

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 june 13 - 19, 2012

Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

Upcoming Schedule: 6/13 Diamondbacks 7:05 p.m. 6/14 Diamondbacks 7:05 p.m. 6/15 Astros 7:05 p.m. 6/16 Astros 6:15 p.m. 6/17 Astros 2:05 p.m. 6/18 @padres 9:05 p.m. 6/19 @Padres 9:05 p.m.

Rangers Report

Another up and down week for the rangers

f there were one word to describe your Texas Rangers, right now, that word would be inconsistent. Last Wednesday, they were shutout for the first time this season losing, 2-0, to the Oakland Athletics in Oakland. The Rangers’ ace, Colby Lewis, was superb in the start going eight innings while giving up two runs off six hits. He got the loss because the Rangers could not score any runs and that has been the problem for them on the road, lately. When your best hitters like Josh Hamilton and Adrian Beltre are struggling the way they have been, chances are you are not going to be successful, at least offensively. Things did not get better the next day as they lost, 7-1, to the A’s. Yu Darvish got the start and was struggled. He gave up six runs off six hits and allowed six walks in 5 1/3 innings. “The walks hurt him,” Rangers manager Ron Washington said according to ESPN.com. “When you put

so many guys on base something bad is going to happen and it did. He’s a tremendous pitcher and even tremendous pitchers have days like this,” Washington continued. The Rangers moved across the bay to play the San Francisco Giants in a three-game set, a rematch of the 2010 World Series. On Friday, the Rangers won their first ever game at AT&T Park by shutting out the Giants, 5-0. It was also their first win in San Francisco since 1998 when the Giants played at Candlestick Park. Matt Harrison pitched a complete game shutout. It was his third shutout of his career.

By Martin Iheke – miheke@gmail.com

The next day, things did not go well again for the Rangers as they suffered another defeat, 5-2, to the Giants. Scott Feldman started and remains winless on the season. Last Sunday, the Rangers took the rubber game of the threegame set winning, 5-0, behind a collective effort of Alexi Ogando, Robbie Ross, Mike Adams and Joe Nathan. Ogando got the start in place of Derek Holland pitching three perfect innings before leaving the game after straining his right groin in the top of the fourth inning. Robbie Ross picked up the win only giving up a single hit over four innings. “I wanted Ogando to keep going to possibly get that, which was sweet,” pitcher Robbie Ross said according to ESPN.com. “Then I get in there and after the first inning I’m like, ‘Oh, dang, we have a no-hitter going.’ After that, I kind of forgot. That’s part of it,” as Ross continued. The Rangers finished their ten-game road trip going 4-6. They remain in first place with a 35-26 record, three games ahead of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Injuries Piling Up While the Rangers continue to be inconsistent, injuries are starting to pile up within the pitching staff. Neftali Feliz is already out and will not return before the All-Star break. Now, starting pitcher Derek Holland has been put on the 15day disabled list with left shoulder fatigue. He left early in last Tuesday’s game against the A’s because of a stomach virus. Holland said he had lost fifteen pounds in the last 2 ½ weeks because of this, which probably led to should fatigue according to ESPN.com. As was mentioned earlier, Alex Ogando left the game on last Sunday after straining his right groin. The Rangers are hoping he will not miss any time because of this, but Ogando did not sound optimistic after last Sunday’s game. “Right now it feels pretty bad,” Ogando said according to ESPN.com. “I feel bad because of the situation we’re in, but that’s something that happens in baseball,” as he continued. With Feliz, Holland and possibly Ogando out, the Rangers are going to have to continue to shuffle their pitching staff to stay afloat. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40

J o b s By Cote Bailey – @BlitzWeekly Since they won’t be in the NBA Finals, these stars can earn some extra cash in ways that are free from the judgments of Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, Shaq and any other TNT analysts.

Jeremy Lin Dirk Nowitzki Camp Counselor: With his charming smile and gentle nature Dirk would be the perfect summer camp counselor. And could you imagine having him on your side in dodgeball?

Lifeguard: He already has experience with saving people. He saved his whole team from being incredibly crappy. Now the only thing he needs to learn to be an official lifeguard is to only save the hot girls.

Souhaitez-frites avec ça?

Kevin Garnett Yard Doctor: Garnett’s height would give him the advantage over the competition if he has to edge large bushes. Imagine him out there talking trash and snarling at old ladies that still cut their own yards.

Dwight Howard Kobe Bryant

Tony Parker

Six Flags Worker: Kobe has experience handling roller coasters (teams that is). And he will handle annoying park patrons asking questions like he does reporters inquiring about why the Lakers can’t win again – by ignore them or blaming the other guy.

Drive Thru Jockey: His French accent will instantly transform your bland Big Mac into “Le Big Mac” – boom, it tastes better already. The French also have better math scores than us so his change will never be off.

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Paperboy: He has an “in” at the Daily Planet; this job should be a no brainer. And since he’s Superman he doesn’t need to worry about health benefits.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 june 13 - 19, 2012

why the heat are ready for A Victory

Here are some of the reasons the Miami Heat are totally prepared to hoist the Larry Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brien Trophy in 2012: Making good on a promise After The Decision, the headbanded one proudly announced his future in Miami would bring â&#x20AC;&#x153;Not 2, Not 3, Not 4, Not 5, Not 6, Not 7â&#x20AC;? championships. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure LeBron would like to get the nickname â&#x20AC;&#x153;LeRinglessâ&#x20AC;? off of his resume a.s.a.p. The Miami Herald is all printed and ready to go The Herald has plenty of copies left of their historic misprint in a Macyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ad that congratulated the Heat on winning the NBA Finals last year. South Beach Miami has some of the most amazing women on Earth and they are just looking for a reason to party. Câ&#x20AC;&#x2122;mon D-Wade give â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;em one. The soundtrack is cued up The M-I-A is the home of some awesome musicians including 2 Live Crew, Enrique Iglesias, Pitbull, Gloria Estefan, Rick Ross and more. The after party will be unbelievable.

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Party!

The Food Their Cuban fusion cuisine is ready to be catered should Chris Bosh and his team give the city a reason to sizzle.

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Security Should anything go wrong CSI: Miami is there to take care of everything. Juwan Howard can finally retire Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about time that a career that started in 1994 gets to the end of the storybook. This guy started with the Washington Bullets (kids thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the team before the Wizards) and has made stops in nine other stops along the way including twice in Dallas. Bronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Bron win one for your friend then wheel him off to the retirement home.

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June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40

n u h T 1967 Sam Schulman and Eugene V. Klein are awarded an NBA franchise for the city of Seattle. It would be the city’s first major league franchise.

1970 The SuperSonics vote with the NBA owners 13-4 to merge with the ABA.

The Thunder haven’t been around a long time in OKC but they have had quite a journey. Its history has seen players like Lenny Wilkens, Shawn Kemp, Rashard Lewis, and Gary Payton. The franchise has seen its share of good times, but gut wrenching losses and cross–country trips are what have made this team strong. Look out, there may just be a Thunder storm on the way.

1971 Seattle standout Lenny Wilkens is named AllStar Game MVP.

1973 Bill Russell takes over as head coach and brings Seattle to the playoffs for the first time.

1978 Under player-coach Lenny Wilkens the SuperSonics win the Western Conference title before losing to the Washington Bullets in the NBA Finals.

1979 The city of Seattle got its revenge and beat the Bullets in five games to win their first and only title.

1983 Sam Schulman sells the franchise to Barry Ackerley and the team would start to fizzle for a while.

1987 Sonics power-forward Tom Chambers wins All-Star Game MVP and the Sonics fight their way to the Western Conference Finals.

1989 Seattle uses the 17th pick in the NBA draft to select Shawn Kemp from Trinity Valley Community College.

1990 Seattle uses the 2nd Overall pick in the draft to select Gary Payton.

2006 Nate McMillan steps down as coach and the Sonics fall to 35-47. New ownership sells the rights to the team to Oklahoma based investment group Professional Basketball Club LLC headed by Howard Schultz.

2007 The Sonics select with the 2nd Overall pick University of Texas standout, Kevin Durant.

2005 Three-point machine Ray Allen helps the Sonics win their sixth division title.

2003 Gary Payton was traded to the Milwaukee Bucks and the Sonics end their streak of 11straight season of at least a .500 winning percentage.

2008 Kevin Durant becomes the SuperSonics last Rookie of the Year as relocation whispers become louder after a 20-62 season. The bitter legal battle between the former Sonics owners and Howard Schultz was decided and the team was heading to OKC.

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1998 Legendary coach George Karl has disagreements with the front office and leaves Seattle for the Milwaukee Bucks.

September 3, 2008 The team name, logo, and colors were announced. The Oklahoma City Thunder was born. Other names contemplated were: Bison, Energy, Wind, Barons, and Marshalls.

1996 The SuperSonics reach a franchise best record of 64-18 and reach the finals but lose to Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls.

1994 After a stint in the Kingdome, the Sonics move into the Tacoma Dome for the season while the Seattle Coliseum/KeyArena was rebuilt.

2011 The Thunder with Durant, Westbrook, and Harden go all the way to the West Conference Finals, but lose to the eventual World Champion Mavericks.

1993 The Sonics return to the Western Conference Finals but lose in seven games to Charles Barkley and the Phoenix Suns.

2012 OKC captures their first Western Conference title by ousting the favored San Antonio Spurs and make it to the NBA Finals.

Heat and Thunder

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 june 13 - 19, 2012

Finals Fireworks

will provide some Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs, Keith Allison

By Geoff Case– @GeoffCase

he Thunder finally got their opponent last Saturday night when the Heat finished off the Celtics with a 101-88 victory in Game 7, sending Miami to its second straight Finals berth and giving James a third attempt at his first ring. LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh fell short in their first season together, losing in six games to Dallas last year. The Heat earned another chance by winning the final two games against the veteran laden Celtics. James’ playoff performances have been nothing short of amazing this postseason. His performance in Game 6 was enough to inspire the rest of his team to outlast the original big three in Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen. Anybody who watched any of the Heat/Thunder games this season knows that we are in for a treat in the Finals. Those games were some of the most physical and athletic displays of basketball we witnessed during the regular season. Each game had a playoff intensity to it that was largely missing for most of the regular lockout shortened season. The teams split a pair of meetings during the regular season, each winning at home. Thunder offense versus Heat defense After eliminating the defending champion Dallas and the Lakers in the first two rounds, the Thunder look to knock out another heavyweight in the Heat, the 2006 NBA champions with their highflying offense. If there is any human being on the planet that has a shot at putting a lid on Kevin Durant this season it’s LeBron James. The marquee matchup of the series going back and forth on each other should be a great show. Kevin Durant has been an absolute killer in these playoffs and is making his case as the best pure scorer in the sport. Yet, he doesn’t affect the game in all the ways that LeBron can. He doesn’t control

it with scoring and passing, rebounding and defense. Beyond scoring, Durant merely dabbles in everything else. James understands exactly what the Heat need out of him in every circumstance, every game. Which is pretty much everything he’s got. James had only a few simple words when asked about facing Durant in the Finals. ‘’I’m looking forward to going against him,’’ James said. Durant took a much more team friendly approach. ‘’We all know how tough it’s going to be but we’re going to fight to the end no matter what, leave it out on floor and we’ll live with the results,’’ Durant said. Defensively, Durant will have to guard James for long stretches, which is going to wear on him, but he also has the length to challenge him in the post. The good news is for the Heat is they save James’ energy for long stretches by putting Battier or maybe even Haslem on Durant. The Thunder offense is primarily a three-headed snake with Russell Westbrook, Kevin Durant, and James Harden. When the Thunder put those three on the court the Heat will be at a disadvantage. The Chalmers/ Westbrook match-up is what stands out the most when both teams’ best lineups are on the court. Wade/Harden pretty much cancel each other out with their dribble penetration. Despite their youth, the Thunder have some Finals experience on the roster. Starting center Kendrick Perkins played in two Finals with the Celtics against the Lakers. ‘’Once you get to the Finals, it’s just about will and heart,’’ Perkins

said. ‘’You could do all the scouting that you want to do and try to get ready for them, but at the end of the day, you done [sic] worked so hard to get here that it’s just coming from within.” You’ve just got to dig deep. Conditioning shouldn’t be a problem for the Thunder, who are young and have had plenty of time for rest his postseason by dispatching opponents early. Heat offense versus Thunder defense Getting back Chris Bosh makes James even more dangerous for Durant and the Thunder. When Kevin Garnett tried to slough off Bosh in the fourth quarter of Game 7, James made him pay with the pass. He found Bosh for passes that delivered the Heat 3-point daggers and baseline jumpers. For all the talk about James in the scoring zone with his 45 points in Game 6, make no mistake: There’s a far bigger, far more complete game that’s evolved within him. There is one x-factor in this series that is going to play a huge role in the outcome. Last year when Dallas was able to overcome Miami, Tyson Chandler’s interior defense was able to force the Heat into taking more jump shots than they planned to. Miami can hit open shots but they can’t win a series without driving Wade/ James into the lane constantly. Ibaka’s shot blocking ability is second to none in the league and if he is able shut down the easy lay-ups and dunks the Heat will have a huge problem. However, if Chris Bosh is able to bite Ibaka with pump fakes and get him in early foul trouble then the Heat will be able to live at the line and the trickle down effects on the entire roster guarding the Heat will be immense.

Dywane Wade is going to have. He’s been up and down throughout the playoffs. Wade’s been struggling, but he’s also faced a much tougher defenses enroute to the Finals. Wade has to get on the move and can’t settle for the jumper. He’s about to have a lot more opportunities at the rim, though. If Ibaka doesn’t block it, Wade can get points. The Heat will need to free him up with the pick and roll and spring him into the interior. Wade’s biggest task is that he can’t get frustrated. James Harden is going to draw fouls on him. He’s got to play through it and not throw up his hands, barking at officials instead of getting back down the court. If Wade hesitates getting back while complaining the Thunder will feast on the fast-break opportunities. Wade could take punishment going through screens against Perkins and Collison. He needs to go under screens, daring the mid-range jumpshooter, and he’s going to have help out on the wing on perimeter drives to distract. Wade also needs to get in the passing lane, something he wasn’t able to do against the Celtics. D-Wade is killer in the open court with numbers. Turning the Thunder over makes them into much less of a team. Prediction The Thunder win their first NBA title over the Miami Heat 4-2 but this could easily go seven games with a few bounces of the ball. They simply have too many weapons for the Heat to deal with. The Thunder’s bench will outlast the Heat and their three-pronged superstar roster.

Another big question is what kind of series Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40

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See more of Jessica and others at Blitzweekly.com Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs / www.DarrylBriggs.com Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Jessica

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 june 13 - 19, 2012

Stone soul foundation On Solid Ground

Photos Courtesy: Stone Soul Foundation

ByMateeka KeyshaLanee’ Hogan — @TheKeysha By – Mateekalanee.wordpress.com

ith face-melting guitar riffs, powerful vocals and effortless grooves, the men of Stone Soul Foundation are poised to join the legends of arena rock. At the end of their tour they sat down to talk about their music and winding up on Hillbilly Handfishin’.

Last year you were here for SXSW and had a pretty bad accident, how was it this year? Sean Muldoon - Lead singer: This year we were able to escape adversity and it was a good time but still hectic. Being there with thousands of musicians was great; we wish we could spend more time there. On the albums there are layers of funk, rock and metal, how would you describe your music? Sean: The core of our music is hard rock with metal influences. We grew up listening to metal, but then our musical tastes evolved. We listen to blues, classic soul, R&B, and classic rock. Those genres influence our music on a subtle level. Doug Paradise - Bass: We’re sometimes put in the same categories as Queens of the Stone Age and maybe the Foo Fighters. But I grew up with Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. On the track “Song About You” who is the person that makes you insane and whose voice makes you want to die? Sean: I supposed I could dedicate that song to a certain one or two people, then I looked at it and I could have been singing that song about myself. Not that I self-loath, but everybody has those days. It started out more tongue-in-cheek, but as the song grew it became a little heavier and darker. “I Master” is a great song all about conquering the world around you. How did you come up with it? Sean: The idea about that song is that you can be in control of what goes on around you. If you have a positive attitude and take unfortunate incidents in your life and look at them as an opportunity for learning. It’s about having control in your world through positivity. If you could jam with other artists who would they be?

Sean: Oh if Miles Davis was still alive that’d be great. I’d like us to have a horn section or something like that. Maybe Phish or the remaining members of the Grateful Dead. Shane Stillman - Drums: We all listen to lot of different types of music. We have such a respect for how hard it is to work as musicians, so we’d work with anyone. After completing this tour for Electric Valley are you all heading back into the studio?

Jeff Wiggins - Guitar: We’ll be going home to lick our wounds. Eventually we’ll be back in the studio, and we’ll be touring up and down the East Coast and maybe in the Midwest. Recently you starred on Animal Planets’ HIlbilly Handfishin’, how was that experience? Shane: Skipper, Trent and everyone at Big Fish Adventures were awesome. We were lucky; we came out of this making some really great friends.

batman: night of owls Is It For The Birds?

otham City has fallen into darkness time and time again, plagued by the criminal underworld that feasts on the heart of the city. But a lone man stands tall, striking fear into the villains who torment the citizens. This man is the Dark Knight – Batman. Billionaire Bruce Wayne is the white light of Gotham; a beacon of hope that guides the people through the darkest of times. He is the authority of the city. He is justice personified. Batman has prepared for every act of villainy and is ready for anything that crosses his path. That is the lie that Bruce Wayne tells himself. In truth, he is just a pawn in a grand chess game. The players: the Court of Owls. These Illuminati have watched over Gotham for generations, carefully placing political figures in proper places, holding the power of control over the city. To the Court, Batman has interfered for far too long and the Caped Crusader must be taken out of the picture. With its Talons, the Court descends on the Bat-family, concocting a master-stroke that will eliminate the one thing standing in the way of total dominance. Warner Brothers may be bringing fans into the theaters with its release of The Dark

By Ethan Harmon By Mateeka Lanee’ –- blackstar4556@gmail.com Mateekalanee.wordpress.com Knight Rises, but writer Scott Snyder and artist Greg Capullo are rounding up comic fans everywhere and pulling them towards the nearest comic book store with their Batman event, Night of the Owls. Snyder, who has written the much celebrated Batman story The Black Mirror, has taken the idea of the Dark Knight and turned it on its head. Through his chilling narrative, Snyder reveals to readers that Batman is not the guardian that he thought he was. Outmatched and outnumbered, a sense of growing dread creeps over the panels. Fear lurks in the corners of these pages, sending chills up the spine. Capullo compliments

this tale by drawing some of the most detailed and frightening pages that have graced the Batman comics. Using his unique artistic style, Capullo creates each scene with its own blend of horror, action, and suspense. This Dynamic Duo is crafting something special in the Batman universe, and the event has only just begun. Night of the Owls is not an event chained to one book. Those who wish to experience the entirety of the Bat-centric tale can read the different pieces of the story in all of the Bat-books (with the exception of Batwoman). Batgirl, Batwing, Nightwing, Catwoman, and the rest of the Bat-related comics all share different events within the overall story, giving readers a chance to see the complete scope of the Night of the Owls. Venturing into these other comics will reward readers with new perspectives, hidden histories, and intense action. Before seeing the conclusion of the Nolan trilogy, take a trip to a comic book store. Grab Batman – and perhaps a few other comics – and read this event. It will take you on a journey through the underbelly of Gotham, into the psyche of Bruce Wayne, and into the fray as Batman battles the Court. Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo are a dream team that guarantees not to disappoint. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40

Buttons (Addison) From the Soul

By Angela Navin -comments@blitzweekly.com

Should I ever get the chance to click my heels three times and say “There’s no place like home” I would wind up sitting in a cozy seat near the window at Buttons in Addison where Chef Keith “Buttons” Hicks brings the soul out of flavors with a rhythm as sweet as jazz itself. Steeped in deepfriend southern tradition, Buttons is the soul of the city. And in here, the spirits are high. ATMOSPHERE Walking into Buttons is like being transported into an environment that’s designed to completely encompass you in music and warmth. The décor is Harlem Renaissance chic making you feel as though you knew the password to the most happening speakeasy in the city. FOOD The southern soul food with Manhattan class leaves little to be desired. Chef Hicks has perfected his niche and mastered the products of his grandmother’s kitchen. Whether it’s their famous Chicken and Waffles with blueberry butter, grilled Andouille sausage, Shrimp and Grits or Fried Green Tomatoes, Buttons brings the seductive nature out of its dishes. Nearly leaving you paralyzed in anticipation of the waiters tray heading your direction. Don’t shy away from exploration of all the spices, sauces, and rubs that they have to offer either. The tastes will give you a glimpse of the tradition from which it came. SERVICE Because of the popularity of Buttons Addison the place is always packed, which means service suffers from time to time. This shouldn’t deter you because the music and scenery are enough to lose yourself in moments in time. Should your waiter or waitress get caught up in kitchen backorders just remember to relax and enjoy the music.

Buttons 15207 Addison Rd Addison, TX 75001 (972) 503-2888 www.buttonsrestaurant.com

Photo Courtesy: Shahed K., Brandi N., Adri A.

Would you be so concerned with your refill if you were in the presence of Coltrane, Armstrong, or Chamberlain? Probably not, so just relax and soak up the soul. Blitz-Worthy Buttons has a trifecta of Blitz-Worthiness. The food, the feeling, and the folk all go in together to make this place a DFW gem. Chef Hicks may have inherited the ability to command all the taste

buds that stand before him, but it was his business sense that transformed a few family recipes into citywide success. What to eat: Chicken and Waffles, Old School Pot Roast, and Catfish Who eats there: Soul food bourgeoisie, jazz hunters, and socialites

Photos Courtesy: Elaine, Wally Gobertz, Ed Menard, Nat Welch, Yelp, lumierefl, tempusfugate

WED. 6/13

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tues. 6/19

Beautiful and vocally amazing, Menzel has captivated Broadway in Wicked and now she will do the same in DFW. Experience something different and get to see someone truly talented doing something they love. 7:30pm.

You know when theatre ends with “re” instead of “er” that they show films and not movies. So, expect “brave and independent” filmmaking here. There’ll be some really awesome stuff. Check out www.oakclifffilmfestival.com. 7:30pm.

Sorry kiddies this one is for adults only. Sample various beers from Deep Ellum Brewing from several area bars and also take pit shops at some of the areas best burger havens. 1pm.

The good folks over at Dallas Harley – Davidson want all you dads and big kids to come on out to see some bikes, enjoy a bikini bike wash, get a hair cut, have your boots shined, and have lunch. Who knew bikers could be so nice? 10am.

The United States Bartenders Guild is hosting its first ever competition and festival (6/1417). The competition will be on Saturday at Main Street Gardens and Sunday night brings the Bartender Brunch and Tiki Party Finale. 8pm.

This week-long workshop brings 20 young artist to Dallas Contemporary. Come out and see the talent and imagination of some of Dallas’ best young creators. 9am.

“Not just a band…an experience.” Come out and experience the Dallas created Celtic buzz-worthy band as Tim, Roberta, Matt and Brek set the stage at the arboretum ablaze. But leave the shillelaghs at home. 7:30pm.

Idina menzel Music Hall at Fair Park – Dallas

oakcliff film festival Texas Theatre – Dallas

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

father’s day beer & burgers tour Deep Ellum Brewing Co. - Dallas

Father’s day at Dallas Harley-Davidson 1334 W. Centerville Garland

USBG Craft Cocktail week People’s Last Stand – Dallas

taking it to the streets Dallas Contemporary Dallas

killdares celtic rock concert Dallas Arboretum - Dallas

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 june 13 - 19, 2012

HollywoodPROFILE - jada pinkett smith

Photo Courtesy: Phil Davis

By Aeryn Ripley– @BlitzWeekly

Miley Cyrus – Is tying the knot at the ripe old age of 19. Hannah Montana and the little brother of Thor, Liam Hemsworth, are exchanging vows. Liam, 22, has an impressive background himself, which includes The Hunger Games and The Expendables 2. Just don’t break her heart, her achy-breaky heart.

The wild bunch from Madagascar stampeded into theaters last week, and audiences came out in herds for one of the summer’s most highly anticipated family friendly films! In the third installment, of Dreamworks ridiculously successful franchise, Madagacar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, Alex (Ben Stiller), Marty (Chris Rock), Gloria (Jada Pinkett Smith) and Melman (David Schwimmer) are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple. Their journey takes them through

The Osbournes – Are being sued for allegedly attempting to unfairly divide and conquer backyard space in L.A. The Mountain View Estate Owner’s Association has accused Sharon and Ozzy of erecting a fence that encroached on the Associations land by 8,500 sq. ft. Naughty neighbors. Danica McKellar – Is calling it quits on her marriage to composer Mike Verta. Winne from The Wonder Years cited “irreconcilable differences” as her reason for 86’ing the nuptials. Although we all know it was because Verta was just no Fred Savage.

Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent, Madagascar style. I sat down with PinkettSmith who talked about her beloved character “Gloria” and what folks can expect in this three-ring adventure! So, what’s new in Madagascar? We’re still trying to find a way not to go back

The premise behind Ridley Scott’s movie Prometheus, is that extraterrestrial super-beings created humans. The film (and the predicted sequel) is more of a Frankenstein story than a search for religious or scientific answers. This connection to the origin of the human race is discovered when scientists Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) & Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall Green) identify symbols common to ancient cave paintings all over the earth. The cave paintings are also an intergalactic map and invitation to find our extraterrestrial creators on a planet in another galaxy. It is 2093. The mission, organized by the Weyland Corporation, is nearing its destination: the location indicated by the cave paintings.

Although Dr. Shaw and Dr. Holloway are a part of the mission, it seems to be led by Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron), a representative of Weyland Corporation. A crew of disparate scientists is assembled to… um… well, no one really seems to know just what is supposed to happen if an alien settlement is actually found. Scientists – so typical. This kooky idea of creation is the major theme of the film, but our extraterrestrial creators

to the zoo and find a way to keep our freedom. And, we join a circus this go around. So, Gloria gets to do a whole lot of dancing, and we meet a whole new set of characters, really fun characters. What have you learned about “Gloria” that makes her so special now that you are so well acquainted with the character? Gloria is optimistic and really fun and she’s adventurous. I kind of look at her as being the mother of the crew. When the boys get a little too out of line, or the boys are angry at each other, she’s the one who’s like, “Come on, come on, come on.” So, I really kind of feel that Gloria is the glue of the group and kind of an anchor. And how do Gloria, Marty and the gang affect the circus? What the zoosters bring to the circus is a fresh life. They bring new acts, new ideas, and they kind of bring some life to a circus that was pretty much kind of blah. So, I think, in that, it kind of inspires everyone even our characters [by] finding new talents and remembering and enhancing who they are. They create this fantastic show that’s just the best show ever.

All of your characters have really taken on a “life” of their own with people, kids and adults. What do you think is the overall appeal of this group? We’re just old friends. People just see us as really relatable characters. I think that we’re just a group of funny, fun, jokers who you just enjoy going on a journey with. You just really love journeying with this group, because boy we have gone...we’ve journeyed! So, I really just think that we’re a great group of characters that you get to go on an adventure with. Rumor is this is the best one yet. What makes this one extra special? The thing that I love about all the Madagascar movies that we’ve done is they’re fun, and they also have a lot of heart. Our movies are always dealing with really simple central issues that basically are dealing with relationships and how one relates to themselves and the world which is relatable too across the board, whether you’re an adult or a child. I think that coupled with some pure fun...that’s entertainment! So, load up the kids, or borrow a niece or nephew like I do, and check out Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted. It’s wonderfully entertaining and safe for the whole family!

By Drew Davis - svo1905@gmail.com aren’t the focus (that is planetarium soundtrack. As science fiction, a job for the predicted Prometheus isn’t very sciency. sequel). The focal point is The movie does cover some new ground. 3D the android operations guru is used to enhance the cinematography, not to and butler Phillip (Micheal test your bladder by having loads of things pop Fassbender). Instead of off the screen. The intersection of archaeology going on a Frankenstein-style and science fiction is interesting. orgy of destruction, Phillip All of the holding back for the sequel and the goes rogue with sarcasm movie’s ambition is its undoing. Prometheus and irony. Fassbender is touches on so many themes that it doesn’t excellent; he delivers just enough ambiguity to really pull any of them off. But, this isn’t Ridley make you suspect, then question, the suspect, Scott’s first rodeo as they say. Despite its flaws, whether he has gone off the map. it is really well done and it is entertaining. Without spoiling it, Prometheus covers a lot of Prometheus is a lot like chewing gum: it is nice old territory from Alien including some of the enough while you’re enjoying it, but when it’s unpleasant sexual overtones. There is a stale over you dispose of it without another thought.

MovieReview of prometheus

By Vivian Fullerlove — vfullerlove@blitzweeky.com

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June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40

AuTOReview: 2012 Hennessey Venom GT

One Hennessey you never want on the rocks

b·ses·sion (Noun) - An idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind. And what it takes to create, scratch that, to undertake a project that commands the dedication of building the Hennessey Venom is the purest form of obsession. Only a company that was visionary and most likely a little crazy could even imagine such a machine. Hennessey Performance Engineering is such a company. Founded on the pursuit of acceleration John Hennessey built, tweaked, and rebuilt vehicles that stretch speedometers to the breaking point. The 2012 Venom GT carries on that tradition that started and lives in Sealy, Texas. The GT hits 200mph in 15.3 seconds that’s 8.9 seconds faster than the Bugatti Veyron, which clocks in at 24.2 seconds. The horsepower

By Quick Steve - @blitzweekly.com has three adjustable settings: 800 bhp, 1,00 bhp and 1,244 bhp breathing life into the 427 CID 7 Liter engine. It also has twin Garrett Ball Bearing Turbochargers just in case you are running late for that PTA meeting. But what sets the Venom GT and Hennessey Performance as a whole apart from other American performance companies is that they care as much about precision handling as they do about horsepower. The Ricardo 6-Speed Manual transmission controls your agility, while the 6-piston Brembo brakes help to tame the horses that propel you down the highway. Obsession does not come without a cost and the cost to have the product of this company’s obsession is $600,000 to $1,000,000 USD. The Venom GT is more than a car; it is a carbon fiber bodied chariot of the gods. Swing low and carry us home.

iXoost iPhone/iPod Dock These hand-built docks are made from actual car exhausts. They are available in V8, V10 and V12 models that pack four 70W amps and one 140W subwoofer. (Custom)

MK802 Android 4.0 Mini PC The smaller the gadget the more tech fiends love it. So, expect the MK802 Android 4.0 Mini PC to be getting plenty of Valentine’s Day chocolates. This super mini PC is USB-sized and contains an A10 single core 1.5GHz ARM CPU, Mali 400 GPU, and 512 of RAM. ($74)

Wii U Nintendo’s chance to stay relevant in the new app-based video game world lies in the Wii U. The IBM Power multi-core CPU and AMD Radeon-based GPU guts of this console will attempt to take Mario Bros. and company to the next level. (Starting at $250)

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Photo Courtesy: Hennessey Performance Engineering

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 june 13 - 19, 2012

Q: How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful? A: Everyone in the neighborhood needs penicillin. Q: Why do bulimics love KFC? A: Because it comes with a bucket. Q: What should you do if you’re attacked by a gang of clowns? A: Go for the juggler.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, “Jesus is watching you.” He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, “Jesus is watching you.” Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot “Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.” The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”“Moses,” replied the bird. “Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?” “The same kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus.”

Gemini May 21 – June 21 You will learn the hard way that fishing for Gars in the Trinity River isn’t the kind of thing to do when drunk. Cancer June 22 – July 22 Your dream to run your own karaoke bar will be destroyed this week when you discover that you have to let others sing. Leo July 23 – August 22 You will be living proof that one person can make a difference, at least to the owners of the all-you-can eat buffet.

Blitz Funnys

EXPLAIN THIS Derek Amato told Matt Lauer on NBC’s TODAY Show, soon after hitting his skull on the bottom of a swimming pool in 2006, he could, for the first time in his life, play the piano. “It was just one of those moments where you just know.” Amato is considered highly skilled, making up melodies from the patterns of black and white blocks that stream across his brain in endless succession. He’s cut an album of original compositions and working on another. DIRTY PHONE MORE WAYS THAN ONE Talk about cheap thrills. The Houston

Press (3-20-12) tells of Chris Windham, 27, charged with improper use of his cell phone, photographing a 57-year-old man in a men’s room in Trinity, Texas, while they “sat” beside each other in adjacent partitioned stalls. Apparently, Windham was in some state of drug disrepair when he explained to police that ...typically, he braces himself with one hand on the floor while wiping himself and had no idea why he was holding a cellphone. SHE DID PACK FOR HER TRIP(S) The Albany Times Union reports Andrea Amanatides, 38, was waiting in a holding cell to begin a six-month sentence for probation violation, when her condom broke. Before her incarceration, Andrea had stuffed it (containing: 90 Lyrica pills/37 Adderall tablets/50 Valium/43 Trazadones/10 Ambiens/26 Oxycontins/four bags of heroin) inside her vagina.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 In a strange twist of fate you will soon be labeled as the guy “who doesn’t freak out” when some craps in your closet.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 The stars this week indicate that through no fault of your own you will receive 15% off your next major purchase with free installation.

Libra September 23 – October 22 You will achieve a small amount of fame when the Discovery Channel runs your only episode of To Catch A Poisonous Snake.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 It’ll be years before your coworkers treat you with respect again but going to work in a banana suit is totally worth it.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Around the office you’ll be known as the resident peacekeeper thanks to your new CHL and Beretta handgun!

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Love, adventure and laughs will not come to you this week but they will be available on NetFlix.

ACROSS 1. French Sudan 5. Panache 10. Rip 14. Among 15. Clamor 16. Doing nothing 17. Alone 18. Three-party 20. Cavort 22. Experienced 23. Card with one symbol 24. Apprehensive 25. Ceramic ware 32. Personal journal 33. Operatic solos 34. Damp 37. Jittery 38. Supporting column 39. Have the nerve 40. Born as 41. Hockey footwear 42. Marsh plant

43. Curse 45. Mix together 49. Blemish 50. Extra 53. Pixies 57. Temple 59. Pack down 60. Bright thought 61. Bitter 62. Murres 63. Sensed 64. Culinary herb 65. Collections

Pisces February 19 – March 20 When they announce the pregnancy of the Dallas Zoo’s orangutan next week, just sit back and smile knowingly. Aries March 21 – April 19 There are hundreds of reasons you shouldn’t give up hope of ever finding love. None of them, however, are very good. Taurus April 20 – May 20 Your ability to suck down crawfish impresses all, especially since you can do this without removing the shells.

DOWN 1. Catholic church service 2. Out of control 3. Easter flower 4. Anagram of “Adroitly” 5. Main course 6. Stopper 7. 52 in Roman numerals 8. Vipers 9. Durable furniture wood 10. Name of a book 11. Ancient Roman magistrate 12. Change 13. Slender 19. Angers 21. Sore 25. Biblical garden 26. Assistant 27. Anger 28. Area of South Africa 29. Produce a literarywork 30. Suffered

31. Rodent 34. Dry riverbed 35. Therefore 36. Adolescent 38. Calypso offshoot 39. Waste 41. Besmirch 42. Stigma 44. Hinder 45. Recurring theme 46. Avoid 47. Renegade 48. Extraordinary 51. Annoying insect 52. Every single one 53. Slender 54. Container weight 55. Send forth 56. Resorts 58. Weep

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June 13 - 19, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40

The CLOSER

The

AnsweR GUY O.K. Beer Brewed by: Browar Okocim S.A. ABV: 5.60% No, this isn’t some Polish joke. This brew is a Euro Pale Lager which pours golden in color has a thick white head. The lacing is alright. The aroma is bready with the yeast strain they must use along with a mild hop character in the background. The body is light to medium. The taste is average with cereal grain and sweet malt flavors coming through. It’s a medium bodied beer. O.K. Beer is just that, OK. Bravo Sosegado Lancero Wrapper: Colombia Binder: Colombia Filler: Colombia Strength: Mild The ornate band says it all. This stick delivers and is affordable. The wrapper is light chocolate with a few minor veins and has cedar notes. The flavor is very pleasing and initial draw is very smooth. It does burn fairly fast but the ash holds its own. The final third maintains good balance and flavor, espresso notes are present. Rusty Nail Ingredients: 1 1/2 oz Scotch Whisky 1/2 oz Drambuie® Scotch Whisky 1 Twist Lemon Peel Mixing Instructions: Pour the Scotch and Drambuie into an oldfashioned glass almost filled with ice cubes. Stir well. Garnish with the lemon twist.

with Arthur Bellfield

Dear Arthur, My issue involves the bylines of a particular MAN LAW. Last weekend I was returning my best buddy’s weed-eater to the shed in the back of his house. All was well until I walked past his bedroom window and saw his wife with another guy – she saw me. What made it worse was that I had to have dinner with them that same night. It was the worst night ever. If I tell my buddy it would crush him, if I don’t it will crush me. What should I do? Signed, Moral dilemma Thank you for writing! When it comes to Man Law we often find ourselves asking, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The answer usually involves holding our tongues while our “brothers” commit to sinful acts of aggression and moral stupidity. The show Cheaters has lasted over twelve seasons: for these very reasons! The reality of your friend’s situation is that more than likely he knows that his wife is cheating: most people know when their lovers are cheating. Some of the usual behavior changes include: an increase in texting, avoidance of sex, and overt public bitchiness. Let’s not forget the physical difference in her love below. The worst thing you can do is snitch and tell your friend. Why? Because his wife will simply deny it. Thus, making you the bad guy who tried to break their happy home! Men generally believe their woman in cases like this. She may go as far as painting a vivid picture of how jealous you are of what they have! Some would even say LONELY! It is best that you let him find out that his wife is cheating like everyone else does on an episode of Maury or on Facebook! Let me know how this turns out!

Dominique Scales How You Know Him: Great athlete and an even better person. This Dallas native and professional basketball player has used his talents to mold a new generation of hardwood warriors by coaching the Texas Crush AAU team. Dominique aims for the kids to make more than just jump shots, he aims for them to make it in life. Basketball is merely the blackboard for his lesson plan. What does basketball mean to you? [Laughing] It means fun and expression of oneself. What is the difference between playing and coaching? Patience. You have to have more patience as a coach than as a player. As a player you can do things, but as a coach sometimes there is a disconnect between the communication and understanding. But it’s a fun process. Greatest lesson that the game has taught you That it can be taken away in an instant. Phrase you overuse Consistency. Playing with Consistency. Who are your coaching inspirations? I take a little bit from everybody. I heard coaching is stealing [laughing]. My one biggest inspiration would have to be Dean Smith. One player that you would love to play one-on-one My favorite player Hakeem Olajuwon. I would want to go against him one-on-one. Would you win? I would say yeah. It would be a game, I’ll say that. It would be a game. I play to win. Hardest thing about coaching That I can’t make the play for them. What’s been your greatest coaching moment so far? There have been so many, but just in general it’s when the guys understand what I’m saying, they apply it in a game and it works. Those moments are the joy I get. The light bulb moments.

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VOL. 4 - ISSUE 40 june 13 - 19, 2012

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