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May 23 - 29, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37

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VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

On Deck indy 500: a crash course

D SPORTS NEWS On Deck Bad Boys Bad Boys Power of Protein Powder Venom Vertical Sessions UFC 146 Preview The Ultimate Ranger Rangers Report Cover Story Blockbuster Beauties The Summer Movies Attack Outdoors Dallas Summer Music Playlist BLITZ Entertainment Jessica Erynn Joi Seven Things in Seven Days Taste Addison The Benefits of Depression Hollywood Shuffle Will Smith Interview The Dictator Review The 2012 Buick Regal Reloaded Gadgets Blitz Funnys Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News The CLOSER Weekend Relaxer The Answer Guy 2-Minute Drill

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Patterson Graphic Designer Michael H. Lee Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Design Michael H. Lee Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors

3 3 4 6 7 8 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 13 14 14 15 15 15 16 16 17 18 18 18

Staff Writers Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, David Goodspeed, Keysha Hogan, Frank LaCosta, Mateeka Lanee, Mark Miller, Tommy Smith Contributing Photographers Stephen Bowler, Jennifer Conley, Larry Darling, Peter Gordon, Paul Li, Joe Mabel, Alexandria MacKenzie, Steven Martin, Martin Ringlein, Al Rodriguez, Rick Star, Steven Zucker, Open__’s Contributing Writers Brian Beard, Arthr Bellfield, Mika Bradford, Scott Free, Martin Iheke, Aeryn Ripley, G. Anndreia Smith, Jesse Whitman, Danny Woodley

BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com Copyright 2012 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com.

FW has a rich tradition when it comes to NASCAR and local drag racing, but every year on Memorial Day we look north to the tradition and speed of the Indianapolis 500. Most of us have had basketball, hockey or the football draft on our minds and are in no way ready for the race billed as “The Greatest Spectacle in Racing.” So here are a few of the big stories you’ll need to know going into this year’s Indy 500: New Indy Cars This race will be the introductory race for the new Dallara DW12 chassis. 2011 Indy 500 winner Dan Wheldon performed most of the testing before he fell victim to crash injuries and died. Dallara chose to honor Wheldon by using his initials, DW12, as the new name for the car. The new chassis will sit lower and wider than previous models. Each car is outfitted with new safety features such as a wider cockpit, energy-absorbing seat inserts and more rear wheel protection. Team Penske The three men representing the Penske legacy have made it clear they’ve come to win. After not winning in almost two years, Ryan Briscoe pulled out a close win to secure the pole position for the big race. Briscoe’s win is a testament to the strength of the team. Helio Castroneves is already a legend after winning three Indy 500s, and Will Powers is a formidable newcomer after winning 14 of the last 38 races at the Izod Series. In order for Briscoe to become the 11th Team Penske driver to win an Indy 500, he’ll have to adjust to the new engine/chassis combo and keep a cool head. The odds will be in their favor with all three drivers starting in the first two rows. Oriol Servia During his warm-up lap, Silva’s car took a tough turn, spun out and barely missed the outside wall. In less than 24 hours, he returned and posted incredible speed at the Bump Day practice. His one-lap speed of 233.752 was the fastest at practice and better than the averages of 10 of the Sunday qualifiers.

By Keysha Hogan – @TheKeysha

Garage Competition Since 2005 Honda has been the only powerplant of IndyCars, but this year Lotus and Chevrolet have joined in the fun. All this new blood has increased the competition in the garages. Last year the Andretti Autosports Team fought to get their drivers to qualify for last year’s Indy. But this year, with the new Chevy V-6 a few of their drivers will be starting the race from the top three rows. So far the Lotus cars have been the slowest with two drivers (Simona de Silvestro and Jean

Uncle Walter on: Lawsuits

Photo Courtesy: Trans-Lux

Alesi) foregoing attempts to qualify because they lacked the speed needed to truly compete. No Danica Patrick IndyCar CEO Randy Bernard has been making the rounds talking about how it’s a shame that fans don’t know about two-time winners like Dario Franchitti. Bernard said “I think Danica was great for the sport, but I also think she was an umbrella that took the spotlight off some of the drivers like Dario.” Sounds like she’s not that missed in the Indy world, even though she was one of their most effective and well-known ambassadors. Although everyone is trying to put the focus back on racing, her name and future plans will still be tossed around.

Nothing was a bigger pain in the butt than my last John Travolta massage.

Watch the Indy 500 on Sunday May 27th at 1 p.m. central on ABC.

The Anti-Bad Boy Tim Tebow continued to show the world that he is nowhere near being a bad boy. This past weekend Timmy went backstage at the Broadway musical (hold all jokes ‘til the end) and posed a pic with some of the cast. One of the girls then tweeted it out…bad idea. She received calls from Timmy’s reps asking Yay, you’re famous! So your cellmates her to take down the pic due to will know your name! Tebow’s “image.”

A Bone to Pick Well Jon “Bones” Jones learned that even if you are a UFC champion it doesn’t pay to drink and drive. Jones was arrested for DUI this weekend after totaling his Bentley by making it climb a pole (silly Bones Jones, Bentleys don’t do that).

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May 23 - 29, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 Photo Courtesy: Paul Li

Health News

the power of protein powder

he protein powders and drink selections we have to choose from today are expansive in comparison to the few flavors of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry the health food stores and athletic gyms initially offered years ago. The use of protein bars, powders and liquids may have initially started in the body building and fitness industry; however the increase in product offerings and types of protein available is now being stimulated by the demand for innovative delivery systems and product offerings from within the health care industry. An emphasis on portion control and a balance between carbohydrates, proteins and fats can be seen in prepackaged meals and menus from favorite restaurant chains across the country who are trying to appeal to the health conscious. Many health conditions and eating plans also suggest an increase in the amount of protein consumed as part of their program. The increase in medical procedures like those referred to as bariatric surgeries have not only increased the use of protein powders within the general population; it has created the demand for an increase in the variety of flavors offered. Bariatric surgical procedures reduce or restrict the size of the stomach reducing the space that holds food or reroutes the way the food travels through the digestive tract. These procedures typically require a liquid diet for a period of time pre and post operation that is then followed with a set period of time that only liquid and soft foods are eaten, eventually transitioning back to solid foods. For individuals who choose these types of procedures adequate intake of protein can range from sixty to eighty grams per day. Eating that much protein in one day

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may not be a problem for most however, when your stomach holds only two to four ounces of liquid it can be challenging to accomplish. Food allergies are yet another reason for the development and creation of protein products from sources other than whey. Rice, soy, egg whites, pea protein and liquid collagen have all entered the market as viable alternatives to the traditional whey isolate protein powder for people with special diet needs. Here are just a few of the many new innovative products on the market that can be taken advantage of whether you are a body builder, in a weight loss program or have had surgery that requires a specific meal plan. 1. Liquid Egg Whites - stable for up to five years when kept frozen or up to ninety days when refrigerated due specialized production processes that allows a unique one of a kind delivery and shelf life. 2. Power Pak Pudding – Pudding that comes in flavors of vanilla and chocolate offering 30 grams of protein and nine grams of carbs per can 9-ounce can. 3. Ostrim – Beef and Ostrich meat snacks offering 14 grams of protein, 3 grams of carbs and 1.5 grams of fat. 4. Protein Gems – protein fortified gelatin snack offering 25 grams of protein per 6 ounce cup in a variety of fruit flavors. 5. Jay Robb – Whey and Egg White protein powders in a variety of flavors including orange cream and pina colada.

By Mika Bradford CN, CPhT - www.rattleandhumsports.com

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

Pumped up baseball

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VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37

. N . E . V . I . R . D BALL

Photos Courtesy: DD Promotions

YOUTH FOOT

CAMPS LEARN FROM THE PROâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COACHES

Dixon Edwards Sean Salisbury

Space Is Limited. Enroll Today! www.drivenfootball.com

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inside venom energy vertical sessions By Martin Iheke - miheke@gmail.com

he Venom Energy Vertical Sessions, an aerial stunt show, was held just before, during and after the FC Dallas game last Saturday at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco. I have always been fascinated by extreme sports like this because it involves such acrobatic, creative high-flying stunts done in the air using either a skateboard or a bicycle performed on a custom half pipe. It is a tremendous skill to have and I highly respect these guys that do this. Zach Warden, Jimmy Walker, Koji Kraft and Anthony Furlong were there to show off their skills. The event that took place right before the FC Dallas match against the Philadelphia Union had a great crowd of fans just like me who wanted to see what these guys could do. One of the guys that caught my eye was Zach Warden. He is an X Games BMX gold medalist and I was able to catch up to him and ask a couple of questions about his association with

Barry Foster Tony Casillas Kelvin Martin Charles Haley

flying high the X Games and what the best part about doing this for a living. He told me that he is with the X Games and that he has being doing this since he was a kid. He also told me that it is cool to go around to different venues to perform his amazing talent. What he can do on a bike using the custom half pipe is absolutely amazing. Being able to do flips and do tricks with the bike going up the pipe and landing down to the ground without losing any balance in such fast pace is incredible. I could not see myself doing that if you gave me a million tries. The other guys who performed were terrific as well. A couple of them used skateboards being able to do some tricks with the skateboard while in the air before landing down to the ground and not losing their balance. If you have not been to an aerial stunt show, I would highly recommend going to check it out. Watching it on television is great, but seeing it in person is even better.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

Photos Courtesy: Peter Gordon & Open___’s:

UFC 146 Preview The Heavyweights Junior “Cigano” Dos Santos (14-1-0) vs. Frank Mir (16-5-0) his is not going to be a great fight. No need to sugarcoat it (now that I wrote that, you can almost guarantee “Fight of the Year”). Mir is a straight up badass, but JDS is on another level right now. He walked through Cain Velasquez and looks to be unstoppable. JDS is an excellent striker while Mir is one of the best in the world on the ground. Mir has a somewhat newfound confidence in his striking which will spell his death here. He will try to stand and bang and will lose badly. If and only if he decides to make this a ground war, he could win but don’t bet on it. Mir will be cocky, as always, but it won’t be enough. I wish it would, but it just won’t. JDS will drop him in the first round and will finish him via TKO, in the first.

By Brian Beard – comments@blitzweekly.com

Cain Velasquez (9-1-0) vs. Antonio “Big Foot” Silva (16-3-0) In a night of great heavyweight fights, this one should not disappoint. Cain is a beast who looked to be unstoppable until JDS beat the brakes off of him. Silva is a beast who has a fairly recent win over the once thought to be unbeatable Fedor. Silva is a BJJ Black Belt and a beast on the ground. Cain is a hell of a wrestler and is very, very strong in the clinch. Velasquez will be looking to show the world that losing the title was a fluke and will be out for blood. Silva will be looking to make a splash in the UFC over a very good opponent. I would love to see Big

PRESENTED by

Foot Silva win here but I just don’t see it. Cain will push the action, win in the clinch and ground and pound Silva to a TKO in the third. Cain will be back in the title hunt. Roy “Big Country” Nelson (17-7-0) vs. Dave Herman (21-3-0) Don’t let the Kentucky Waterfall mullet or the physique fool you. Roy “Big Country” Nelson is a world-class athlete and fighter. He is incredibly tough which is his greatest strength, but he is also a very good, technical fighter. Herman is a very good wrestler that is not afraid to go to war. He will have the advantage in the wrestling/ takedown department but not in experience. I know they have the same number of fights, but big Roy has faced tougher competition overall. Nelson also has his back against the wall here. Even though he has only lost to top heavyweight contenders, he needs this win! I am calling Herman by unanimous decision! Nelson will get one more shot, will perm his mullet and become unstoppable.

The Gym 921 West Mayfield Road Arlington, TX 76015 (817) 652-1555 Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

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VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37

The ultimate Ranger

Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

Upcoming Schedule: 5/23 @mariners 2:40 p.m. 5/25 blue jays 7:05 p.m. 5/26 blue jays 2:05 p.m. 5/27 blue jays 2:05 p.m. 5/28 mariners 7:05 p.m. 5/29 mariners 7:05 p.m.

Find out which piece goes where

Mind of Al Oliver: Playing in all of Texas’ 163 games in 1980, Oliver displayed the physical and mental toughness of a triple studley wallbanger. Eyes of Juan González: Rangers all-time leader in RBIs in a season (157) and slugging percentage (.643) proving that his eyes were always on the prize. Mustache of Paul Kilgus: Sorry Derek, Paul’s got you beat. Left Arm (tie) Rubén Sierra/Nolan Ryan: This switch hitter holds the Rangers record for the most triples in a season (14). The way Nolan’s left arm put Ventura in that headlock deserves honorable mention at the very least. Heart of Josh Hamilton: This Ranger has fought injuries and inner

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demons to become one of the most loved players to ever wear a “ T ” o n their cap. Right Arm of Nolan Ryan: All-time leader in no-hitters with seven. Ryan also racked up 5,714 strikeouts. Hips of Michael Young: No Rangers has turned more plays into highlights by simply turning his hips than Mike. Legs of Bump Wills: The Rangers all-time leader for stolen bases in a season. Knees of Ivan Rodriguez: 12 seasons and 10 AllStar games behind home plate in a Rangers’ uniform “Pudge” had knees of steel and a heart of gold.

Rangers Report

staying focused no matter what the outcome By Mark Miller – mmiller@blitzweekly.com

Whether the Texas Rangers are on a roll or not playing as well as they’d like, their attitude generally stays the same. Take a tough 5-4 loss in 10 innings to the Oakland A’s last Thursday for example. After falling behind 3-0, the Rangers tied the game on two Mitch Moreland home runs and took the lead on a disputed squeeze bunt by Elvis Andrus. But the bullpen yielded the tying and eventual winning runs while the offense left 14 runners on base, including three in the ninth inning after one out. Was it frustrating to lose? “It’s not frustrating because that’s a harsh word,” said Texas Manager Ron Washington after his team’s third loss in four games. “This group of guys has delivered many times in that situation but you can’t get frustrated with one game because if you let yourself do that, it can snowball.” Perhaps that attitude was what helped Texas rebound to take two of three weekend games at Houston. While the Rangers ended the week with a 3-4 record and dropped to No.2 overall in the American League at 26-16, they still led Oakland by 5.5 games in the American League West division. “We’re not going to do it every time but you know they’ll get it done more often than not,” said starting pitcher Matt Harrison after the Texas batters had just one hit in 12 at-bats with runners in scoring position. “We’re not playing bad baseball,” said Rangers infielder/designated hitter Michael Young. “Things just don’t always go our way. We focus on things we have to do to win games. We focus on things we need to do to get better.” Such focus by starting pitcher Colby Lewis both

h a t would happen if you took the best attributes of the best Texas Rangers and put them all together Frankenstein style to create the ultimate Ranger? Let’s find out.

By Scott Free– @blitzweekly.com

at the plate and on the mound was crucial to Texas finishing the week with a 6-1 win over the Astros. Lewis keyed a five-run first inning with a two-run single and pitched into the ninth inning, giving up just four hits as he ended a personal three-game losing streak. “Having things not go my way my last few times out, I wanted to bounce back and go deep in the game,” Lewis told mlb.com. “Jumping out to a lead like that, my job was to throw strikes and force the issue. It made it a lot easier.” Back home for Jays, Mariners After finishing their short road trip Wednesday afternoon at Seattle and an off-day Thursday, the Rangers return home to host the Toronto Blue Jays for the only time in 2012 and the Mariners again. The Rangers lost two of three in Toronto earlier this month and the Blue Jays entered the week with a 23-19 record, four games behind the American League’s top team, the Baltimore Orioles, in the AL East. On offense, third baseman Brett Lawrie leads the Blue Jays in batting average at .281 while designated hitter Edward Encarnacion has 13 home runs and 34 runs batted in. Left fielder Jose Bautista has 11 home runs. On the mound, Brandon Morrow has a 5-2 record and 2.63 earned run average and Ricky Romero is 5-1, 3.64 in nine starts each. Former Ranger Darren Oliver continues to shine at 0-1, 1.32 in 16 appearances. Seattle swept the Colorado Rockies in three inter-league games to enter the week at 19-24. Former Ranger first baseman Justin Smoak and ex-Texas farmhand Blake Beavan keyed a 6-4 win in Sunday’s finale with a solo home run and five strongly pitched innings, respectively.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

Tickettes: Blockbuster Beauties

Scarlett Johansson The Avengers

Mila Kunis Ted

Emma Stone The Amazing Spider-Man

Charlize Theron Snow White and The Huntsman

Alice Eve MIB 3

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VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37

he hottest months of the year also produce the hottest flicks. Here is your definitive list of the most awesome movies headed your way this summer:

Prometheus (June 8) Space, where no one can hear you scream… except Ridley Scott…or E.T…or Buzz Lightyear. The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3) First Toby Maguire, now Andrew Garfield…wow Spider-Man is getting manlier and manlier.

MIB3 (May 25) We wonder that if this movie sucks can they take out that little doohickey and zap out our memory of it.

Dark Knight Rises (July 20) The Dark Knight legend may conclude with this summer’s most anticipated film, but after seeing how crappy Catwoman looks in this movie maybe she should be retired forever.

Ted (July 13) Marky Mark, a talking foul-mouthed Teddy bear, and Mila Kunis – the Academy Award goes to… someone else.

Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1) This Snow White is sent to b*tch-slap Walt Disney right outta his mouse ears.

The Bourne Legacy (August 3) What do you get when you do a Jason Bourne movie without Jason Bourne? FAIL.

Here is your guide to outdoor summer fun: Homegrown Fest Date: May 26 Location: Main Street Garden Park Why Show Up: The Octopus Project, The Mohicans, Girl in a Coma, and more.

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Meltdown Music Fest Date: June 2 Location: QuikTrip Park Why Show Up: Pretty Lights, Steve Angello, Flux Pavilion and many more. H20 Music Fest Date: June 9 Location: The Cotton Bowl Why Show Up: Weezer, Snoop Dogg, GCH, Damien Marley, and Paulina Rubio.

Total Recall (August 3) Attention, Attention - Spoiler alert: The girl with the three boobs WILL be in the movie. That is all.

Vans Warped Tour Date: July 3 Location: Gexa Energy Pavilion Why Show Up: New Found Glory, Mayday Parade, The Used and 69 other great bands. Mayhem Festival 2012 Date: July 10 Location: Gexa Energy Pavilion Why Show Up: Slipknot, Anthrax, Motörhead, Slayer and more.

Taste of Dallas Date: July 13-15 Location: Fair Park Why Show Up: Eat. Drink. Shop. Repeat. Ultimate Boat & Outdoors Show Date: July 13-15 & July 20-22 Location: Dallas Market Center Why Show Up: The best way for you to see the best boats in DFW.

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

MAKING YARDS HEALTHY IN THE METROPLEX COMMERICIAL & RESIDENTIAL

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Your Summer Music Playlist The Smashing Pumpkins Oceania - June 18 The ninth studio album for these Bullets with Butterfly Wings should be a great one. Justin Bieber Believe - June 19 Do you “Bielib?” We sure as hell don’t. The Biebs is back at it again and puberty is coming with him. DMX Undisputed - June 25 The Dog has taken some time off for smoking crack, impersonating a federal agent, and now releasing an album. Rick Ross God Forgives, I Don’t July 31 Judging by the album title the boss Ricky Ross apparently holds grudges. Don’t get on his bad side. Alanis Morissette Havoc and Bright Lights August 28 This jagged little pill of craziness has had quite a bit of time to gather enough life altering experiences for another great album. Green Day ¡Uno! - September 25 Part of a three part collection (others being ¡Dos! and ¡Trè!) ¡Uno! brings the punk rock bad boys-turned-Broadway darlings back to their roots with their ninth studio album. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

May 23 - 29, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37

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See more of Jessica and others at Blitzweekly.com Model: Jessica Photo Courtesy: Rick Star Photography / www.rickstarphotography.com Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Jessica

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

erynn joi

dance dance revolution

Photo Courtesy: Al Rodriguez

When asked about the nature of her work as a professional dancer, Erynn Joi says, “we are the backbone of this industry.” Her impressive climb to the top, which began a short time after her weaning, has certainly given her a strong spine—not only physically, but mentally as well. “This business isn’t built for everyone,” she warns, “but if you are

ByMateeka Mateeka Laneé — www.mateekalanee.wordpress.com By Lanee’ – Mateekalanee.wordpress.com strong, with passion and drive and you feel this is what you want to do, [then] by all means go for it!” Born in the Pittsburgh suburb of Donora, Pennsylvania, Erynn started her training at age two, and has been trained in Ballet, Tap, Jazz, Lyrical, HipHop, Pointe, Acrobatics, and Gymnastics. At nine years old, she performed with R&B/Pop singer Montell Jordan at the Pro Bowl in Hawaii, and has danced with the likes of J.Lo, reggaeton sensation Don Omar, and

the late Michael Jackson. She graced the stage of the 2009 Video Music Awards with “Miss Beyonce,” and says of the experience: “I felt at that moment, I have reached the level of where I wanted to be as a dancer.” What better thing to do when one has reached a certain level than to transcend? Erynn is now working to launch her music career as well, describing her style as “smooth, funky, new”, and influenced by music of past generations. “Music has been [a part] of my whole life,” she explains. “My dad plays the guitar and my mother has a beautiful voice. I can’t remember a time growing up as a little girl that music wasn’t playing in my household.” She views her vocal art as an extension of her physical expression, saying “dance expresses my thoughts through my body movement and music expresses it with my words. It just all fits together perfectly to make my puzzle complete.” As much as she feels she’s taken with her from her professional journey so far, Erynn says she’s picked up from her mentors a few tricks for success in her business. “I’ve learned to always be on time…always keep a positive attitude… and always go full out! [Give] 200% instead of one.” New York City, she admits, is a tough place, and she credits it for having built up her resolve, and fed her drive to achieve. She advises young women looking to achieve what she has to “keep a good head on your shoulders and to not get lost in the game”, reiterating, “The only person that can stop you is YOU!” Erynn currently stays busy with performances, as well as, her own entrepreneurial ventures, including her dance school, Dance 4 Joi. She also operates a custom lingerie line, E.Baby Custom Couture, and says “there is just so much I want to do while [I’m] here on earth”, and that her hope for the future is to “continue doing what I love to do and to get the chance to expose it more to reach the masses of people and inspire them the way [I’ve] been inspired!”

Photos Courtesy: Steven Zucker, Larry Darling, Steven Martin, Jennifer Conley, Joe Mabel, Alexandria MacKenzie, Martin Ringlein

WED. 5/23

The dandy warhols House of Blues – Dallas They are like Andy’s psychedelic ultra-pop culture, hipster b*stard brother band…count us in. Let’s see what they have in store for us this Wednesday. 8pm.

thurs. 5/24

kristen chenoweth Winspear Opera House – Dallas Well GCB may be over but this little superstar is far from done. Kristen will be back in her favorite city to sing songs from her new album, Some Lessons Learned. Here’s one: Don’t trust NBC. 8pm.

Fri. 5/25

cityarts festival 1121 First Ave. - Dallas Come one, come all to see and experience art, movies, music and wine tastings. This family friendly event will go on through May 27. 6pm.

Sat. 5/26

homegrown music festival Main Street Garden Dallas Bring your ear for good music and change for the vagrants; it’s a downtown music festival! Checkout the absolute best local music scene in the city and support DFW music. 10am.

Sun. 5/27

rockstravaganza 2709 Elm St. – Dallas How could you not want to go to something called Rockstravaganza? The School of Rock continues its mission by displaying the talent of 500 of DFWs smallest musicians at five different clubs. 11am.

mon. 5/28

memorial day cookout Dallas Zoo – Dallas Mmmm…a cookout at the zoo! We always wanted to know what grilled hippo hoof tastes like… oh that’s not what they are doing here…damn. Well, we guess we’ll go any way. 11am.

tues. 5/29

symphony in the park Exall Park - Dallas Hey you by the water fountain, show some class! This is a symphony for crying out loud. Next time be sure to wear a tux with your picnic blanket. 5pm.

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VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37

Taste addison The best thing i ever ate

By G. Anndreia Smith - gandiesmith@gmail.com The 20th year of Taste Addison featured over 60 restaurants, vendors, wine tasting, music and fun for kids. The weather was beautiful, shade was plentiful and the restaurateurs served up very generous portions. A little bit about me: I am not a chef but I am food obsessed. I am constantly searching for my next favorite restaurant that I can tell everyone about. With that in mind, I ventured out to Taste Addison this past weekend in search of something new. Over the course of two days, I sampled as much local flavor as I could handle and I was not disappointed. Here are my standouts: Being a relative newbie, I took suggestions for what was not to be missed. First stop, the ¾ lb. Honey Glazed Pork Chop served by Chamberlain’s Steak and Chop House. The renowned and respected upscale restaurant gave the chop a casual spin. All I needed to eat it was a napkin wrapped around the bone (reminiscent of a turkey leg at the State Fair but so much better). This gargantuan pork chop was smoked to perfection; tender and so juicy it was almost unbelievable. Full disclosure, I am not known to be a big pork chop fan but I liked this. As a matter of fact, when I returned on Saturday, I recommended it to my family and to any strangers who would listen. www.chamberlainssteakhouse.com I love burgers and I am a believer in great tasting food prepared simply. Apparently so is the philosophy of JC’s BURGER HOUSE. The burger sliders were made of high-quality, fresh beef and only dressed with cheese. However, they could have easily been plain with just beef and bun. Their beef was flavorful and seasoned just right not salty. This is the place for a burger without pretense. www.jcsburgerhouse.com. Los Lupes has several locations around the Metroplex but I am familiar with the Carrollton location so this is not the discovery of a new favorite place but a new favorite dish. The Tacos

Photo Courtesy: DD Promotions

al Pastor, one of the top vote getters in the Taste Addison Foodspotting competition, are made with pineapple pork, cilantro, onions and a spicy red salsa on a corn tortilla. Normally, spicy salsa is not my thing but it worked well with this dish. www.loslupes.com Lagniappe Originally from Monroe, Louisiana, Johnny’s Pizza House, opened in Addison in February. They offer mufulleta sandwiches and a seasonal “Sweep the Swamp” pizza that includes crawfish and Andouille sausage. I opted for the slightly less adventurous “Sweep the Kitchen” slice that has 11 ingredients. It’s Johnny’s version of Supreme pizza. Surprisingly, the handmade thin (but not New York thin) crust didn’t bend under the weight of all the toppings. It was so impressive that a couple of Addison’s finest stopped us to find out the origin of this loaded pizza. www.johnnys-pizza.com

Finishing Touches The “orange hut” on Beltline between Marsh and Midway is home to Flippin’ Out Crepes & Coffee. You. Must. Stop. Here. Chef Scott and his team make outstanding crepes. Getting rave reviews are the savory crepes but I went for dessert, the Strawberry Dream. The crepe was light and the strawberries were fresh and sweet. New evening hours and dinner options have been added to their menu. I have my eye on the Honey Pomegranate Roasted Chicken crepe next. www.flippinoutcrepes.com Last but not least, Henry’s Homemade Ice Cream is one of the original vendors of Taste Addison and a leading supplier to hotels, restaurants and caterers. The ice cream is smooth and not too sweet. Try the Black Raspberry for a flavor that’s a step above chocolate and vanilla. It appeared to be a popular choice and, I was told, it’s Henry’s favorite as well. www.henryshomemadeicecream.com

the benefits of depression There’s nothing like being happily depressed

re you feeling depressed, anxious? Are you unable to sleep at night? Sounds like one of the many brilliant ad campaigns by pharmaceutical companies, their genius being the sheer numbers of people who could say yes to those questions. Psychologists call depression the common cold of mental dysfunction since it is one of the most prevalent problems they encounter. Depression is like anxiety but without the enthusiasm. At first, the problems – death in the family, unemployment, disease – have your full attention, keep you tossing and turning, pacing the room like a caged animal in fight or flight. Then you get tired of the panic and get lost in Gossip Girl reruns or gorge on buckets of fried chicken. So I challenge all of the depressed people out there – why not make depression fun again? Consider the following benefits of being depressed and then cheer the hell up already! One of the common symptoms associated with depression is loss of appetite. In fact, in a recent survey I did, I found that five out of 300 million people reported that they had trouble eating after a bad breakup. Like many Americans,

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ByJesse Mateeka Lanee’ –- jwhitman00@gmail.comv Mateekalanee.wordpress.com By Whitman

Photo Courtesy: Stephen Bowler

they were all over weight, so after a month of lying on the couch looking at the ceiling they came out of their heartbreak-comas with rocking bodies. So you won’t even have to work out at the gym or count calories like all those so-called happy people. Obesity is an epidemic in America right now, so depression could really help fat people shed some pounds. On the other hand, you may over-eat in the depths of your despair, and while you may come crawling out of your house eventually, your body will probably look like a deformed manatee. Still, when you’re waiting in the chicken nugget line and show no intention of hiding your blatant path to diabetes and heart disease or

concealing the muffin top spilling out over your pants, you won’t be wasting food, you’ll boost the food chain industry, and you’ll get all the calories you need to survive. Also, if there is an apocalypse and food production comes to a halt, you’ll have plenty of fat reserves to keep you alive if a heart attack doesn’t kill you first. Since depressed people don’t do much and rarely leave the house, you can also save money by not doing your usual activities. If you’re depressed in Detroit you’ll probably be depressed in Hawaii, so at least you won’t waste your money on an overpriced vacation. Depression also can give you a serious demeanor, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be the perfect time for selfreflection and contemplation. In other words, depression gives you the chance to cultivate your self-loathing and how your bad decisions led to your life being in shambles. Some of the best songs, art, and literature were born out of these down and out moments, so don’t waste your sadness but use it to write an album or at least play the guitar poorly. So next time somebody asks you why you’re not smiling, stare them down with your well-practiced scowl and say in your best Tony Soprano voice, ‘I am smiling.’

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

HollywoodPROFILE - Will smith

Photo Courtesy: Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc.

By Aeryn Ripley– @BlitzWeekly

Manny Pacquiao – Probably didn’t vote on proposition 8 judging by his anti-gay rant last week on gaymarriage. The pint-sized puncher said, “What I’m critical off [sic] are actions that violate the word of God.” Of course Floyd Mayweather stood in opposition of Pacquiao’s comments. Kim Kardashian – Is a phony! Well, at least her shoes are. Sketchers and their Shape-Up line, which Kim was the face of, have been forced to pay a $40 million settlement and issue refunds for anyone who bought the shoes. This decision was made after Sketchers’ claims that the shoes helped people lose weight were debunked. Jennifer Lopez – Is about to become extremely wealthy (as if she isn’t rich already). J.Lo is toying with the idea of not returning to American Idol for a third season – translation: she wants way more money. And she’s going to get it. A.I.’s executive producer Nigel Lythgoe has said, “We want her back. I want her back.” Cha-ching.

What made you decide to come back for number III? Being able to create a movie in a series that is stand-alone is a difficult concept. You get caught a lot of times making a movie because it’s a sequel versus with this idea, which is probably why we waited so long. We finally found a concept and an idea that stood on its own merit outside of the series. And Josh Brolin coming in as they young Tommy Lee Jones, I mean it was such an amazing twist and new look at the series, and that was the reason why I felt really good about

Well, Sacha Baron Cohen is at it again. The comedian that brought Ali G, Borat and Bruno to life has aimed to make you uncomfortable with his style of comedy of American terrorist stereotypes with his new film, The Dictator. “The heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.” Cohen plays the title character Admiral General Hafez Aladeen (take Bin Laden, Ghadafi, and Saddam Hussein and roll them all into one mega jackass) a dictator from the Republic of Wadiya, who is hell-bent on having nuclear weapons,

diving in and going back for a third dip. You and Tommy Lee have such chemistry together on screen, no doubt because you have done this twice before, did adding Josh to the mix disrupt that or affect that in any way? The chemistry between Tommy and I is so distinct, and it is what the series has been based on; so, it was scary going into this film where half of the movie is with Josh Brolin, but as a testament to Josh, I never felt any difference in the scenes between Tommy and myself or Josh [and myself]. He studied and found whatever that essence is in a way that whenever we hit the camera there was no adjustment that I had to make. It was as if Tommy was there. Josh is just a fantastic, wonderful image of the young Agent K; so, you get a glimpse into what young K would have been like through Josh’s eyes. MIB3 really is a flashback in time whereas the others were more futuristic. So, what all went into really creating the feel of this movie? Bo Welch, he ripped this thing. I walked into that 1969 headquarters and again it’s just magic. You walk in and you just feel “that thing.” It will be fifteen minutes into the movie before people start paying attention again just

from being shocked by the recreation of that era. Bo has been able to just over and over again recreate that quintessential Men in Black feeling, and I’m just happy to be on his team. There are even retro-aliens in the movie. What I loved about the 60’s and the creation of the 60’s creatures is what it captured was the men in black [of the] 60s [era]; so, it’s the comedy and what the subconscious of aliens in the 60’s with the Barry Sonnenfeld (MIB director) twist taking it back to the glass bulbs on their heads. And what I always love about the villains and the way Barry sees villains is they’re always scary, but you laugh which is difficult to impossible [to achieve]. A lot of times when a villain is funny, you lose the seriousness of the jeopardy, but what Barry has always been able to do is to find that line where the humor is terrifying. So, did you have any concerns in coming back for this third installment? This is my first time in 3D; so, I was just happy my ears didn’t take over the whole frame. That was my big concern that in 3D these things would be exponential. Well we love you Will, big ears and all! You can check out MIB3 when it opens in theatres nationwide this week. The film is rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence, and brief suggestive content. By Danny Woodley @BlitzWeekly

female bodyguards and hating the U.S. This movie overall is a pretty funny one due to the fact that everyone is equally offended by Cohen during the film. He is an equal opportunity offender – an a*shole for equality, if you will. Most critics I am sure will condemn this movie as they have all of Cohen’s other work, but this one is

MovieReview of The Dictator

By Vivian Fullerlove — vfullerlove@blitzweeky.com Cue the music...here come the men in black! Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones suit up for a third installment of the popular Men in Black sci-fi, comedy/action series, and Josh Brolin joins the dynamic duo as the younger version of Lee. This time around when Agent K’s (Jones) life and the fate of the planet are put at stake, Agent J (played by Smith) will have to travel back in time to put things right. J discovers that there are secrets to the universe that K never told him -- secrets that will reveal themselves as he teams up with the young Agent K (Brolin) to save his partner, the agency, and the future of humankind. I sat down with Will, one of my longtime favs to talk about the movie and his biggest concern during filming.

different…this one is down right hilarious. John C. Reilly (Walk Hard, Step Brothers) and master thespian Ben Kingsley (Hugo) step in and deliver hilarity of their own when the Admiral General reaches New York City. So if you like Sacha Baron Cohen movies make time in your schedule for this one, if you don’t like his movies or are easily offended stay as far away from any theater screening this movie as humanly possible. Move to another neighborhood just in case.

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May 23 - 29, 2012

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37

AuTOReview: 2012 Buick Regal GS

Hot Wheels

rowing up it seemed as though it was all about my “Hot Wheels” and watching the Indy 500 on Memorial Day weekend. Since then, not too much has changed really. Substitute the Daytona 500 for the Indy race, and I hardly ever ride anymore as I am always driving news cars to review, but it is still all about the “hot wheels” and I don’t just mean the kids’ toy. Sure I have a sizable collection of the little metal cars (including many I owned as a child) but being a “surrogate” grandfather I now have added new models to the collection as I busily keep pulling them from the two new front teeth of baby J. I took delivery of Buick’s newest offering, the Regal GS, and when they delivered it the conversation went something like this: “Hey,

By David Goodspeed - dgoodspeed@blitzweekly.com

I thought I was supposed to get a Buick this week? What’s this?” “That’s the new Buick – hot isn’t it?” Buick has undergone a major renovation in the post-bailout era with its new lineup set to attract an entirely new generation of customers. And this is the new turbocharged Regal GS? It ain’t no blue-hair bingo hauler. It’s hot wheels, right down to its, well, hot wheels. Regal is Buick’s new/old midsize model that in recent decades has moved to the sedan platform. The new Regal GS isn’t boring or sedate – far from it. Powered by a turbocharged 2.0-liter high output Ecotec four-cylinder engine that belches out some 270hp and 295 lb. ft. of torque, the Regal GS is pitted against the best premium sedans Europe and Japan have to offer in this segment, namely Volvo’s S60, Audi’s A4,

Acura’s TSX and so on. The Regal GS launched with a six-speed manual as the sole gearbox offering but now mid-model year an automatic has been added to the blend. Still six gears and (surprisingly) no paddle shifters the auto makes GS a breeze to drive. Some enthusiasts were a bit disappointed GM did not bring the Opel performance version of this vehicle (and its extra horsepower) from Europe but we did not get the GS at the launch of the new Regal so hey, baby steps. There’s always next year. Supportive bucket front seating is still comfy and the car is quiet on the road, even when you stomp the accelerator. Even the GS mode and its stiffer suspension settings still won’t jar your dentures or hairpiece loose.

The Day Maker Imagine that you could make a dual iPhone charger that acted like a toaster when your device reached full charge. Now imagine if that toaster charger dream machine also had an alarm clock and you could push your iPhone toast down like a snooze button if you needed a few more winks of sleep. Yes, it is awesome…we know. ($100 and up)

One thing I question is the choice of having Intellilink technology with satellite radio and touchscreen control over most functions in the vehicle but no navigation system. What’s the thinking here? Given all that this premium level vehicle offers and the fact that most of the necessary technology is already in place, leaving navigation out is a bad move. Pricing for the 2012 Buick Regal GS begins at $34,835 with our tester rolling in at just over 36 grand. Fuel economy is rated at 19-mpg city and 27-mpg highway. So while the grandbaby and I won’t be watching a Regal GS pace the Indy 500 this year (perhaps a GNX version will next year?) I will enjoy him playing with my/his Hot Wheels cars during the race.

Johnson Arms Time to unleash hell on “those meddling kids” this summer with the brainchild of Brian Johnson. Johnson Arms produces custom Nerf guns, as well as, “other object-spitting devices” (we’re not sure what that means but we sure wanna find out!). These toy weapons are completely customizable – time for the neighborhood kids to run in fear. (Price varies)

Smart Dot Long live the laser pointer. Cats will go crazy, anatomy teachers will hate it, and high school kids will flock to it. Smart Dot will revolutionize tomfoolery everywhere. This tiny laser pointer is able to be mounted atop your iPhone, iPad, iPod touch (pretty much anything with “i” in front of it) and is controllable with an app. ($80) Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Photo Courtesy: General Motors Company

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

Q: Why did the blonde shoot the clock? A: To kill time.

The Angry Wife An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll you have?” he asked.

Q: What’s the definition of necrophilia? A: The urge to crack open a cold one.

“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you, I suppose,” she replied.

Q: How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes a surgical team to get it out.

So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down in one gulp. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. “Yuck, that’s nasty poison!” she spluttered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!” “Well, there you go,” cried the husband. “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”

Gemini May 21 – June 21 Yay! It’s your birthday! The candles will be just one of the many things you’ll blow this week! Cancer June 22 – July 22 Somehow, someway it’s even more insulting that the circus to which you’ve been sold to is immensely popular in Sweden. Leo July 23 – August 22 You realize that worrying about dying before your time is pointless since you’re always ahead of schedule.

Blitz Funnys

“HANGING OUT” IN PUBLIC When and while Alan Petrusson was being arrested for tying himself to a tree, naked and blindfolded, near a Ramsey, Minnesota park, he should’ve sung that old Waylon Jennings’ song: “I was looking for love in all the wrong places.” Apparently, fulfilling a fantasy of having anonymous sex with a stranger, Jennings claimed he was only “sleeping.” Ramsey Police Chief James Way told The Huffington Post, “We have had reports of sexual activity out there ....”

posted a list of unusual names of U.S. towns: Why, Arizona, Whynot, Mississippi, Hell, Michigan, Pig, Kentucky, Elephant Butte, New Mexico, Monkeys Eyebrow, Kentucky, and Embarrass, Minnesota. (Longest town name in the world -58 letters Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, New Zealand) WONDER WHO ROBBED HIS BRAIN? Chuck Shepherd’s News of the Weird tells of Robert Strank, 39, who suddenly become ill while robbing a bank in Huntington, Ohio. First demanding the teller call 9-1-1, then feeling better, Strank handed her a pre-written holdup note demanding cash. Too late, though. That 911 call got him quickly arrested.

NO DUMBBUTT, NORTH DAKOTA? In April 2012, SmarterTravel.com

Virgo August 23 – September 22 This week will be unlike any other week you’ve ever experienced, but that has more to do with the hits of acid you took than anything else. Libra September 23 – October 22 You’ve always believed that anyone can be forgiven, but you’ll find that hard to apply to the line of truckers visiting your mom. Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Your life is becoming boring, particularly to those watching you on their webcams.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 Society will have the last laugh when you threaten to retaliate with your Fists of Fury.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 Your irritable bowel syndrome will once again disrupt a perfectly fine Monday morning office meeting.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Things will go awry when you pick up a hitchhiker with a duffle bag full of hungry cats.

Aries March 21 – April 19 There’s something the stars have always wanted to share with you about water moccasins, but you’ll find out soon enough this weekend.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Drugs and alcohol are not the answer to your problems but for this week they’ll work as a temporary solution.

ACROSS 1. Extreme happiness 6. Salute 10. An aquatic bird 14. Burdened 15. Killer whale 16. Novice 17. Convex molding 18. Gait faster than a walk 19. Poems 20. Plastic wrap 22. Not a single one 23. Avid 24. Wiggle room 26. Labels 30. A small pieceofcloth 31. Sweet potato 32. Double-reed woodwind 33. Bright thought 35. Flat floating vessels 39. Reasonable 41. A punch of sweetened ale

43. Lacquer ingredient 44. Blah 46. Chocolate cookie 47. Calypso offshoot 49. Genus of macaws 50. Where a bird lives 51. Chimneypiece 54. A pack of playing cards 56. Smell 57. Analgesic 63. Shower with love 64. Wings 65. Depart 66. Makes a mistake 67. Tins 68. Female demon 69. Dregs 70. The products of human creativity 71. Hex

Taurus April 20 – May 20 The love of your life will breakup with you by leaving behind a series of explanations on Post-It Notes.

DOWN 1. Coalition 2. Wash 3. False god 4. Peddle 5. Large tropical American fish 6. Quickly aroused to anger 7. Set up 8. Computer symbol 9. Recently 10. A type of craftsman 11. A woman whose husband is dead 12. Sporting venue 13. Offensively curious 21. Risk 25. Hearing organs 26. Carry 27. Cain’s brother 28. Departed 29. Dressmaker 34. Cognizance

36. Anagram of “Fear” 37. Fastens 38. Notch 40. Bicycle 42. By surprise 45. Glowing 48. Lamapacos 51. One who poses 52. Love intensely 53. French for “Our” 55. Slays 58. Winglike 59. Jump 60. Disabled 61. Wicked 62. Genuine

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May 23 - 29, 2012

Photo Courtesy: SBS

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37

The CLOSER

Big Rock Honey Brown Lager Brewed by: Big Rock Brewery ABV: 5.00% From our friends in Alberta, this brew pours a nice amber color with a thick head that dissipates quickly and leaves little lacing. It has a mild aroma of malts with strong notes of brown sugar and honey. The taste as expected is malty with a hint of honey, a tad sweet and creamy for a lager. It has decent carbonation and goes down smooth. Do not pair with food and limit to no more than two. Gurkha Black Dragon Imperial Prsidente Wrapper: Cameroon Binder: Dominican Filler: Nicaraguan, Peruvian Strength: Medium-to-Full Bodied This stick can be had for $8-$10 typically and well worth it! It’s impressive looking and the wrapper is smooth, slightly oily and had only a few veins. It has a slightly earthy pre-light scent and flavor with a good draw. It has a nice even burn throughout and produces a white, flaky ash. The flavors become more intense in the second half of this smoke.

The

Answer

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Arthur Bellfield

Lava Flow Ingredients: 1 oz Light Rum 1 oz Malibu Coconut Rum 2 oz Strawberries 1 Banana 2 oz Pineapple Juice 2 oz Coconut Cream Mixing Instructions: Blend banana, coconut cream, and pineapple juice in a blender and set aside. In the bottom of a hurricane glass, stir together both rums and strawberries. Pour banana/coconut/pineapple mix slowly into the glass. The strawberry/rum mix should creep up the sides of the glass to make a wonderful looking (and tasting summertime cocktail!

Dear Arthur, My girlfriend thinks I dress like a slob. I admit I am a t-shirt and jeans type of guy and she wants me to wear these designer clothes like I’m on The Bachelor or something. It makes me very uncomfortable. How can I tidy up my image without having to walk around looking like a Calvin Klein billboard? Signed, The Devil Tries To Make Me Wear Prada

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Paul Leone How You Know Him: He’s Mr. Beer America TV! And when he’s not editing, predicting beer trends, and refereeing knife fights with Muppets he still finds time to be a pretty awesome guy. What’s the coolest thing about being a part of Beer America TV? Meeting the brewers and people that make up the American Craft brewing scene! Their attitudes, their zest for life, their creativity and fearlessness is contagious! I recently spent a week with the crew at Oskar Blues in Colorado, and I can honestly say they all LOVE what they do for a living...now that’s cool! One beer that changed your life… Probably the first beer that I had that was full of flavor and brewed locally. I don’t recall what the name of that beer was, but in 2003 it inspired me to write a television show treatment called Beer America, that I still continue to develop and pitch to this day! What’s the next big trend in beers? American Craft beer is evolving at lightning speed, but what we’re seeing more lately is the mixology of beer. Beer/wine (beer aged in wine casks), beer/whiskey, (beer aged in whisky barrels) etc. I’m also seeing the rise of sour beers, think beer that tastes like sweet tarts. Fictional character that you would most love to have a drink with… The Most Interesting Man in the World. I’d introduce him to a few of my favorite beers! When you are not sampling beer you are… I’m a freelance Producer/Editor/Writer, so I’m trying to stay busy creating new TV show concepts surrounding beer and beyond. If Kermit the Frog and Alf got into a knife fight in an alley, who would come out alive? Kermit, hands down! Although Alf might have size and few teeth, what he doesn’t have is Miss Piggy. Alf may have the bigger knife, but Miss Piggy is Kermit’s gun, and you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gun fight. Read the rest of the interview at Blitzweekly.com

VOL. 4 - ISSUE 37 may 23 - 29, 2012

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