February 2019
LIVING QUIETLY in mind, body and home
Change your Life by Asking the Right Questions
Can Exercise Enhance Your Sex Life?
The Artistic Heritage of Montmartre
Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 1
GEORGE HOME WONDERLAND
https://direct.asda.com/george/clothing 2 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
SAINSBURY’S HOME GLOBAL MONOCHROME
https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/shop/gb/groceries Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 3
RED CANDY All You Need Is Love Framed Print, £47 www.redcandy.co.uk
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HOUSE OF BATH LED Solar Paw Print Lights (4), £14.95 www.houseofbath.co.uk
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Benefits of Simple Living
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henever we think about simple living, we have a tendency to give attention to things we can easily see. We think about decluttering and celebrate clear countertops and tidy desks, yet this is just the start of simplicity. The most rewarding benefits of simple living aren’t always visible, and can appear just a little vague until experienced. Once evident though, they can be truly life-changing.
7 invisible yet rewarding aspects of living simply 1. Under-reacting A simpler life permits us to look more closely at our response. When things are too active and complicated, we get lost in a reactionary lifestyle. We say things we don’t mean and blow things completely out of proportion. Whenever we contemplate before responding, we can answer properly from a thoughtful place, rather than a fight or flight mentality. 2. Lifestyle When we reduce commitments and obligations, and eliminate common stressors like credit card debt, unfulfilled careers, and hurtful relationships, we’ve allowed ourselves to take better attention of our core. We can find the time to take a nap or for writing and being creative, space for meditation, or perhaps a straightforward practice of gratitude. 3. Better health Even without changing our diet or working out, simplicity can lower blood pressure and decrease the threat of disease. Stress can result in migraines, colds and auto-immune conditions. If you’re fed up of feeling unwell and fatigued, simplify your life to aid your best health. 4. More meaningful relationships It’s hard to get the best out of any relationship when we are constantly connected to our computers and phones. Our imaginations are full enough, and when we add tiers of digital information, it’s easy to reduce focus during a simple chat. Unplugging gives us a quiet platform, allowing us to pay attention and fully engage. 5. Hope After experiencing some of the advantages of simplicity, from enjoying a superior liveable space, to growth in our bank account, we are more hopeful and open to new experiences and possibilities. A simple life is a hopeful life. 6 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
6. Increased freedom Whenever we aren’t tied to technology, engaged in overreacting or feeling unfulfilled and tired, we feel the joys of freedom. We make smarter decisions, and enjoy lives we’ve wished for. Instead of aiming to live up to a typical path that someone else set for us, we are free to be exactly who we are. That’s freedom.
7. Benevolence When we free up resources, need less to be happy, and also have the time to think about what we care about the most, we are simply more loving, caring and giving. These unseen benefits of simple living become completely tangible, and they are the secret behind being more with less. Only a taste of the inner workings of a simpler life inspires us to go after even more simplicity. We naturally want less of the meaningless products and even more of what really matters.
Cornerstones of Living Quietly 1. Consciously choosing how to spend your energy and resources 2. Being gentle to yourself and in your environment 3. Creating a supportive space for yourself, both mentally and physically 4. Learning to say NO Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 7
WILKO Wallpaper Mural Forest, £45.00 www.wilko.com PUBLISHER Blooming Fabulous Media EDITOR IN CHIEF Margaret Bligdon-Boyt EDITORIAL CONTENT Kindly provided by experts and people embracing the quiet living ethos DESIGN Jennifer Powis Virtual Assistant CONTACT US www.livingquietlymagazine.com For submissions: submissions@livingquietlymagazine.com Telephone: 02380 970229 MEDIA ENQUIRIES & ADVERTISING Email: bfmedialtd@gmail.com Copyright 2019 Living Quietly Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior permission is prohibited. Printed in the United Kingdom. Registered as a private limited company in England: 11617694 8 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
Contents 6. Benefits of Simple Living 12. A Note from Our Editor 13. This Season’s Essentials Bane’s climbing mountains to raise money for DOGS TRUST
14. Bob, Daniel & Bane’s 15 in 10 20. 5 Ways to Reduce your Consumption of Fast Fashion
26. How you Can Change Your Life by Asking the Right Questions
17. The Impacts of FAST FASHION: The true cost of cheap clothing on our environment
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Contents 38. Ethical Skincare 42. 5 Health & Beauty Benefits of Ginger 44. Acupuncture for Arthritis 46. Teapigs Recipes 48. I’m Single and Proud
54. Happy Couples: How to Keep Your Relationship Happy EVERYDAY
32. Romantic Gardens & Roses for Valentine’s Day 10 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
Contents 80. Feng Shui Your Home
62. Can Exercise Enhance Your Sex Life? 70. The Mysterious Pineal Gland 90. The Artistic Heritage of Montmartre 96. How to Make Great First Impressions
105. Acceptance: Can You Afford Not to Allow it into Your Life? 110. The Internet: Where Love Blooms
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A Note From Our Editor Here we are in February and there is love in the air. The more cynical amongst us may dismiss Valentine’s Day as a marketing ploy, designed to increase sales of cards, flowers and engagement rings. I have to admit to being a bit of a cynic as far as the commerce is concerned. As far as my soul is concerned, I find that it runs better when fuelled by love. And here’s the thing ….. Love is free. It doesn’t come with over -priced gifts in February. We have an unlimited supply of love within us all the time. The first step to living quietly is to turn off the noise in our heads. Taking a breath and reacting to life from a place of love and acceptance will help with that. On page 14 you will find much love - firstly because Bob is my son, secondly because Bob loves climbing mountains and thirdly, because Bob and his friends, Daniel and Bane are going to climb 15 mountains in 10 days to raise money for charities close to their hearts.
This month I’m in love with Baabara the Toilet Paper Sheep. She’s sure to raise a smile from your guests! Baabara Toilet Paper Sheep, £23 Red Candy www.redcandy.co.uk
So the message this month, and every other month, is to spread the love around … Go well Margaret
SPREAD THE LOVE Breathe in peace, breathe out LOVE (I know it sounds corny, but give it a go). 12 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
Animal Footstool Cow Print, £59.00 British Heart Foundation www.bhf.org.uk
Mini Pear Light - Mint, £8 Bobby Rabbit www.bobbyrabbit.co.uk
Super Soft Merino Throw Mint Green, £129 Tolly McRae https://tollymcrae.co.uk/
The Editor’s Edit: This Month’s Essentials Silver Chalcedony Teardrop Hoop Earrings, £10.95 Lime Lace https://limelace.co.uk/
Original Duckhead Compact Umbrella - Mint, £22 Printer + Tailor www.printerandtailor.com
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We're two lads and a dog looking for a challenge Why not raise some money for great causes whilst we're at it? Introducing Bane, a 20-month-old working cocker spaniel. Named after the supervillain in Batman, he really does NOT live up to the name. He enjoys extremely long walks and agility which keeps his Daddy (Daniel) fit. You’ll occasionally find him chasing squirrels up trees, yes you read that right, he actually climbs trees! Meet Bob and Daniel we’re raising money for
Help for Heroes and Little Miracles. 14 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
He’s raising money for
Dogs Trust and
will be proudly wearing a Dogs Trust bandana for the duration of our adventure.
Starting on 8th March 2019, we’ll be hiking
15 peaks in the UK over 10
days sleeping in a motorhome that has been given to us for this event.
Ben Macdui peak and working our way down Britain, covering peaks in the Lake District, the Yorkshire 3 Peaks Challenge and then dropping in to Wales we’ll be hiking Snowdon and finishing on Pen y Fan. Starting in Scotland at the
Find us on Facebook to follow along with our adventure: www.facebook.com/pg/bbd15in10
HELP US TO RAISE £5,000 FOR THESE 3 WORTHY CHARITIES: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/15in10?utm_term=8QdQ6DE9x Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 15
4 Cornerstones of Living Quietly
1
Consciously choosing how to spend your energy and resources
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The Impacts of Fast Fashion: The true cost of cheap clothing on our environment & 5 ways you can start to reduce your consumption of fast fashion Written by Jennifer Powis, Lifestyle Editor Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 17
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e’ve had concerns for years that fast fashion can have negative implications for the workers who produce the clothes, hearing reports of incredibly low pay and unsafe working conditions. However, the BBC documentary Stacey Dooley Investigates: Fashion’s Dirty Secrets revealed to us a whole new world of the truly shocking effects of mass produced clothing. So what are the real impacts of fast fashion and what can we do about them? Did you know that it can take thousands of litres of water just to make 1 pair of jeans? Neither did we. Not until we saw Stacey Dooley revealing some of the shocking statistics behind the production of clothing. She travelled to countries such as Indonesia to get a much deeper insight into the effects of clothing production on the environment and people’s quality of life. What she uncovered was deeply shocking. The fashion industry is a huge source of pollution - in fact, it’s claimed that the fashion industry is one of the top five most polluting industries today. A vast number of clothes are going into landfill, microfibres 18 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
“
It’s claimed that
young children, and we can understand why.
the fashion industry is one of the top five most polluting industries today. are polluting our seas and chemicals are being pumped into rivers. Stacey visited a river in Indonesia to see first-hand the effects the clothing factories have had on the water quality. Pipes from the factories are located at many places along the river - here, the changes to the colour and temperature of the water could easily be seen. When tested in a laboratory, the water was found to contain dangerous chemicals such as mercury, lead and arsenic - it’s no wonder that the people who rely on the river for washing clothes and bathing are suffering from conditions that make their skin incredibly itchy and sore. They are scared to use the water for bathing their
House of Commons Environmental Audit Committee says: - People are buying twice as many items of clothing as they did a decade ago. - 3 in 5 garments end in landfill or incinerators within a year. - Half a million tonnes of microfibres a year enter the ocean.
What can be done to reduce the impacts of fast fashion? We greatly hope that Stacey’s fashion documentary will be the catalyst for change that is truly needed to protect our planet. Increased regulation is very much needed, but we as consumers can do our bit to show our support for the planet.
THE HUGE COST TO THE ENVIRONMENT It can take thousands of litres of water just to make a single pair of jeans.
According to Foodtank.com:
The fashion industry: - Is the second-biggest consumer of water, producing 20 percent of wastewater. - Generates more greenhouse gas emissions than all international flights and maritime shipping combined. - Is responsible for 92 million tonnes of solid waste dumped in landfills each year (Copenhagen Fashion Summit report).
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5
WAYS TO REDUCE YOUR CONSUMPTION OF FAST FASHION
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1
MAKE USE OF CHARITY SHOPS
Taking your used clothes to charity shops is a wonderful way to both give back to society and also to ensure your clothes get a second life. Whilst you’re there donating your goods, you might just find a few new items - a great way to save money, support a good cause and save clothing from landfill.
2
CHOOSE QUALITY OVER QUANTITY
Many of the fast fashion brands sell clothing that isn’t made to stand the test of time. Choose pieces that look well made and high quality so you know that they will be used many times.
3
BANISH TRENDS
We live in a society where trends come and go in a flash. Try to shop for the future, purchasing clothes that you know you’ll still be happy to wear in the months and years ahead.
4
ASK YOURSELF IF YOU WOULD PAY FULL PRICE
See something in a sale and get excited to grab a bargain? Pause before purchasing and ask yourself if you would be tempted to buy this item if it was at full price. If the answer is ‘no’, put it back on the rail for someone who would truly love it.
5
SWAP CLOTHES WITH YOUR FRIENDS
Why not create a fun evening with your friends where you all get to swap clothes? Ask everyone to bring a few items they no longer wear so that you can have a swapping session. A shopping experience that is great for the planet and totally free for everyone to enjoy.
TOP TIP Before buying anything, always ask yourself these questions: Do you really NEED it? Are you sure it’s something you truly WANT and would pay full price for, if on sale? Can you definitely AFFORD it?
A focus on sustainable fashion fits in very well with our quiet living ethos. Creating a capsule wardrobe results in a collection of clothing that is not only much easier to manage, but also reduces our daily choices. This results in a much more enjoyable experience every morning. Not only does it allow us to make easier choices every day, a smaller wardrobe that focuses on quality over quantity will contain only outfits that bring us joy and make us feel confident and comfortable. The impacts of fast fashion have been revealed to be just as shocking as we feared, possibly even worse than many of us ever truly suspected. As a society, by saying ‘no’ to fast fashion, in addition to benefiting our own lives, we are also contributing to the protection of the environment and our planet - a planet that happens to need our support now, more than ever.
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JD WILLIAMS Home Essentials
www.jdwilliams.co.uk 22 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
Slow Living Collection
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JD WILLIAMS
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JD WILLIAMS
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How You Can Change Your Life by Asking the Right Questions Written by Jason Earls, Guest Writer
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arious self-help gurus and proponents of neuro-linguistic programming have put forth the notion that the process of thinking is simply asking yourself one or more questions. Although this may be too simplified a model of the human mind and how it functions (some might say thinking could be a series of logical – or illogical in some people’s case – steps that proceed from one point to another, but that admittedly the steps were most likely preceded by a question that initiated them in the first place).
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Going further, claims have been made that people can change their life for the better simply by asking the “correct” questions that will transform their viewpoint from a negative one to a highly positive one, as the question helps focus their mind; and beneficial answers will arrive if the right questions are asked intensely enough. To see how questions are capable of concentrating the mind, try this simple thought experiment: How many yellow things are presently visible in the room you are presently occupying? Take a moment to look around. Perhaps you will see the color yellow appear in a painting on your wall, or there’s a yellow book cover on a shelf, or you may notice a yellow lamp in the corner. Now switch to the colour blue. How many blue things do you see? Did you feel your mind focus in on each color as you searched around the room, finding exactly what you were looking for? Now imagine when a problem occurs in your life, using the same kind of mental power to harness positive energy and focus it on finding the perfect answer to your problem. The next time a dilemma occurs in your life, instead
“
Great power can be harnessed by asking direct, simple, and profound questions.
of asking wrong, negativebased questions such as: “Why am I always so unlucky in life? Why can’t I ever get anything right? Why am I such a loser?” Instead, extract yourself from the unpleasant situation by asking positive questions, such as: “How can I use this situation to my advantage? What can I learn from this? What is the best way to go about solving this problem?” Negative questions lead your mind to finding negative answers, while positive questions focus your mind on locating positive answers. Questions are powerful enough to determine all of your thought patterns and help you focus on particular areas, so by making sure they are the correct questions, in no time flat your life can become completely fulfilling in every way.
to find certain references. If your questions are positive and uplifting, you will find positive references to improve your happiness, rather than negative references that will only be detrimental to your overall mental and physical health. Don’t live on autopilot, change your focus with good questions; ones that will challenge you and put you in the correct frame of mind for finding unlimited success and ultimate advancement. Remember, great power can be harnessed by asking direct, simple, and profound questions. “Why should I even try this when I know it will never work? Why can’t I ever win at anything? Why is God punishing me like this?” Avoid these types of questions at all costs. Drive them out of your mind as soon as they appear, and in their place implant positive, self-empowering questions. Ask yourself what you are most happy about in your life right now; what you are most proud of; what you’re excited about; grateful for; enjoying the most; what you are fully committed to. Also find people whom you genuinely respect and discover their own questions and use them in your life as well.
Questions allow your brain Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 27
“
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity - Albert Einstein
Coconut Spoons Wearth London www.wearthlondon.com 28 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
Einstein was right - never stop asking questions. But make sure they are the best ones possible. Certain simple, powerful questions have completely changed various people’s lives for the better. And they can change your life as well. Remember, the way you evaluate your experiences is what shapes everything you do and how you feel. Simply by improving the questions you ask, you can destroy all barriers and limitations to your happiness, which will allow you to accomplish all of your goals and dreams.
DESTROY ALL LIMITATIONS TO YOUR HAPPINESS Change all of those negative questions you ask to only positive ones to create a fulfilling life.
Coconut spoons handcrafted from the same coconut trees used to create Panda’s coconut bowls after the trees have died. Set of two spoons which are each approximately 15cm long and light, making them ideal for reducing use of plastic cutlery on the go £6.99.
Bohemia Halfah Grass Cactus Bohemia Design Limited www.bohemiadesign.com
Our esparto or Halfah Grass Cactus is handmade in Morocco using natural plant fiber and traditional techniques. These bold and quirky cacti are the perfect bohemian home accessory and a unique focal point in any space. Available in four sizes, make a statement with these decorative woven plants ÂŁ110.
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ASDA
n-spa Expert
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4 Cornerstones of Living Quietly
2 Being gentle to
yourself and in your environment
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Romantic Gardens & Roses For
Valentine’s Day Written by Marie Shallcross 32 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
I
f you ‘re creating a romantic garden, roses are bound to be one of the essential flowering shrubs you plant in it. Roses have a long history in our gardens, and while rose gardens waver in and out of fashion, the rose as a flower is always popular. Indeed, roses never totally leave the worldwide top ten favourite flowers list. They’re regularly at the #1 spot, and not just around Valentine’s Day. You can easily grow your own scented red roses. But in order to have a bunch of home-grown roses in mid-February, you’ll need a heated greenhouse, artificial light systems and even then, success is not guaranteed in the UK. However, a romantic garden offers more than roses and can delight your beloved throughout the year if designed well. Whilst every garden is different, there are a few key elements: Style Access Seclusion Comfort Scent Seasonal Interest
A further consideration is whether the whole garden is to be romantic, or just one part of it. As a surprise gift, particularly in today’s smaller gardens, creating a romantic feature area is one solution.
Formal Think straight lines; low growing evergreen herbs to edge paths; topiary, possibly with clematis growing through; espalier peach trees against a wall; roses trained as standards.
STYLE
Informal Features winding paths; plants spilling over the edges of borders; shrubs with soft outlines, i.e. not
A romantic garden may be formal or informal in structure.
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If your romantic garden forms only a section of the whole garden, you may like to add an archway and gate to hide it from view.
topiary; rambling roses. Then there are other romantic items you might like to add, such as a dovecote and a pair of turtle doves. Or a fountain, with a statue of Venus rising from the foam.
ACCESS Which is how you enter into your garden and move around it. For example, step free level access from house to garden; paths wide enough for a wheelchair. If your romantic garden forms only a section of the whole garden, you may 34 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
like to add an archway and gate to hide it from view. This separation makes it ‘special’.
SECLUSION Whether your romantic garden is a small seating area or the size of a tennis court, enclosing it away from the outside world is essential. Depending on your surroundings, you may like to include a vista of surrounding countryside, but the overall feel should be enveloping. This may be achieved with a rose covered bower that blocks out neighbours, trellis fencing, tunnel
arbours (plant covered walkways) and strategically planted trees and hedges. It also means using focal points to keep your eye and attention within the garden (for when your loved one isn’t with you). Let us consider an easy example. Your romantic arbour could be rectangular or fitted into a corner giving a triangular shape. The sides and roof should be made of trellis, for the convenience of growing scented climbing plants on, but also to give a feeling of privacy. You also need seclusion from the front. Will you be
mainly sitting, lying on a lounger or on a herb lawn? Sit or lie where the arbour is planned to be. Are you overlooked? If so, from where? A quick and easy way to screen is to place trellis in this sightline. Match the trellis style to your arbour trellis and use it to support scented climbing plants such as sweet peas.
COMFORT You need to feel comfortable in order to feel romantic. And I don’t think that’s just a middle-aged comment! An herb lawn to lie on would be idyllic but is not tempting in a wet British summer. Indeed, sitting in your arbour after a rain shower may find you with drips of water running down your neck. For more year-round use, you could build a gazebo. A permanent structure, generally octagonal with a pitched roof and open sided, so you still feel part of the garden. Comfortable seating with cushions could stay out all summer long. Or go full out and have a small summer house with one side that opens fully, a wood burning stove inside and attached verandah. This would enable you to enjoy your romantic garden year-round.
SCENT
traditional at weddings.
Scent comes from both flowers and foliage. It is possible to have scent yearround.
Roses Rosa moschata is repeat flowering white rambling rose with a musk scent. It’s thought to be the rose referred to by Shakespeare in the romantic comedy, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. Another rose with romantic connections is ‘Royal William’. A repeat flowering hybrid tea rose with crimson blooms and a
Herbs The aromatic foliage of evergreen herbs makes them an essential element in a romantic garden. Non-flowering Chamomile is ideal for a herb lawn. Rosemary and Myrtle are
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good fragrance. Valentine’s Day scent Sweet Violets (Viola odorata), Daphne bhoula, Wintersweet (Chimonanthus praecox), Winter Honeysuckle (Lonicera fragrantissima) and Witch Hazel (Hamamelis). These are all garden hardy in the UK and likely to be flowering in mid-February.
SEASONAL INTEREST When will you use your romantic garden? If you plan romantic elevenses on Valentine’s Day, then nothing else until the warmer weather, seasonal interest is less important. Unless the whole garden is a romantic garden, in which case you may like something to look out at during winter and early spring. For example, Cornus davidia involucrata, also known as the dove tree, has beautiful flowing white bracts. This may be an easier dove for you to care for than the ones in the dovecote… The initial design and creation of your romantic garden is just the beginning. Ongoing maintenance should be factored in, whether you 36 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
‘ll be doing this yourself or paying a professional gardener. Lastly, for those who would like a bouquet to offer their loved one, two alternatives to growing your own Valentine’s red rose: Fairtrade fresh roses can be purchased from many florists and online. Real, preserved roses which have gone through a process that will enable the arrangement to last a year (although the scent doesn’t).
Passionate about edible ornamental gardens where you have a beautiful, practical space, Marie at Plews offers Garden Design, Garden Consultancy and Gardening Lessons where your garden is your classroom. She writes a weekly award-winning gardening blog – Plews Potting Shed. https://plewsgardendesign. co.uk
Out Now & Available on AMAZON & READLY
THE HOUSEWORK ISSUE Specially created for our readers living with a chronic illness
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Rosemary Leaf and Orange Hand Cream Tube 75ml, £9.00 National Trust https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/
Fresh Skincare Cult Classics, £24.00 John Lewis https://www.johnlewis.com/
Formula Restore Night Cream, £13.50 Marks and Spencer https://www.marksandspencer.com/ 38 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
Ethical
SKINCARE
that doesn’t break the bank
Formula Urban Shield SPF 20 UV Shield £12.50 Marks and Spencer https://www.marksandspencer.com/
Dog Almond Soap, £3.99 TKMaxx https://www.tkmaxx.com/uk/en/
Fresh Farmacy Soap, £8.75 LUSH https://uk.lush.com/
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Tall doors swing open to armfuls of dusky pink roses, their scent stills the hypnotic beat of dance music and the mood of this moment is carefree, caught on the Left Bank, a portrait in black and white but tinted pink. Music starts again, the tune swoops across the petals etched with a Tuscan black pepper twist, and a spritz of Lilly of the valley, dancing us back to late red velvet nights at Chez Castel, and Grace Jones singing the memorable Edith Piaf song that speaks directly to the heart. A charmed life where time spools a thread of happiness laced with jeu d’esprit, a lipstick imprint forever love, reaching from this potent moment right back to
La Vie En Rose https://victoriacator.com/
The top notes contain Lily of the Valley, Tuscan Black Pepper, Lemon, Galbanum, middle notes contain Rose, Carnation, Geranium and base notes contain Honey, Sandalwood and Muck.
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ANNABEL JAMES
Gardener’s Gubbins Pots www.annabeljames.co.uk Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 41
5
Health & Beauty Benefits of
GINGER 42 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
G
inger is incredibly versatile. It has long been used in Chinese medicine to treat a whole range of ailments and conditions. In some Eastern cultures, particularly in Japan, slices of ginger are eaten between dinner courses in order to clear the palate. In Western culture, ginger is often used to prevent travel sickness and morning sickness during pregnancy. It is also sometimes used to treat colic, flatulence, and other stomach and intestinal disorders. In cooking, fresh root ginger, dried ginger, or ground ginger can be used to add a spicy tang to sweet or savoury dishes. The oil from ginger is also sometimes distilled so it can be used in perfumes.
5 HEALTH AND BEAUTY BENEFITS OF GINGER: #1. Ginger can stimulate hair growth by improving blood circulation. Finely grate a small piece of fresh root ginger, and then extract the juice by passing the ginger through a fine sieve or piece of cheesecloth. Mix the ginger juice with a little avocado oil and
massage into your scalp. Leave for 30 minutes before washing out. #2. Ginger may provide relief from migraine headaches, and the accompanying symptoms. Research has been conducted into the effect of ginger on migraines, and so far the results have been very encouraging for sufferers. Ginger is thought to help by stopping prostaglandins from causing the dilation of blood vessels, which is a common cause of many migraines. #3. Including fresh ginger as a regular part of your diet could help to alleviate the pain of arthritis. Ginger is an antiinflammatory, and has been successful in helping to relieve the pain and inflammation of arthritis in some people. The effect is cumulative, so you need to eat the spice regularly to feel the full benefits. #4. Ginger can boost your immune system, and help to fight off colds and infections.
spoonful of honey for additional benefits. The drink can also help to clear your sinuses and settle your stomach. #5. Ginger can help to clear spots and treat acne. Extract the juice from a piece of root ginger by grating finely, then pressing through a sieve or piece of cheesecloth. Dab the juice directly onto spots, pimples, and areas that are prone to acne. Leave the juice for thirty minutes before rinsing off with cold water.
THE EDITOR’S MEDICINE GARDEN ESSENTIALS All of the health and beauty benefits of ginger are why we highly recommend including ginger as part of your medicine garden. Include alongside aloe vera, sage and lemon balm.
For an immune-boosting drink, infuse some slices of fresh ginger in a cup of boiling water, and add a squeeze of lemon and Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 43
Acupuncture for Arthritis Can acupuncture relieve arthritis stiffness and pain?
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A
rthritis can be a frustrating condition to treat. Doctors most commonly prescribe non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs to treat the pain, but these medications have significant side-effects, including an increased risk of heart attack. No wonder people are looking for alternative ways to treat joint-related inflammation and stiffness. One treatment that holds promise for some types of arthritis is acupuncture.
Acupuncture for Arthritis Stiffness and Pain: Does It Work? Researchers at the Peninsula Medical School did an indepth analysis of previously published studies on using acupuncture to treat arthritis in hopes of giving clinicians a better idea of the effectiveness this treatment. According to their review, acupuncture is effective for treating some types of arthritis - but not all. It has the most benefits for treating osteoarthritis but doesn’t seem to help the symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. Acupuncture is also effective for people who have chronic low back, neck, or elbow pain. Acupuncture for Osteoarthritis: How Does It Relieve Arthritis Stiffness and Pain? Acupuncture relieves arthritis pain and stiffness by causing the brain to produce more anti-stress chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins not only give a sense of well-being, but they
also reduce the perception of pain. The advantage of using acupuncture for osteoarthritis is it offers a completely drug-free way to reduce arthritis stiffness and pain - and it has few sideeffects. On the other hand, acupuncture doesn’t cure arthritis; it only relieves the symptoms. But it does make it easier for osteoarthritis sufferers to get around. Are There Drawbacks to Acupuncture for Arthritis? Although acupuncture is a safe procedure, it may take several acupuncture sessions to successfully treat arthritis stiffness and pain. Most people get several sessions a week for a month or longer. Not all insurances pay for acupuncture, so it could mean paying out-of-pocket, which can be expensive. Nevertheless, acupuncture for arthritis pain and stiffness may be worth it for people who are concerned about the side-effects of arthritis drugs.
Acupuncture for Arthritis: The Bottom Line Acupuncture may be beneficial if you have osteoarthritis, but don’t count on it to relieve the symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis or fibromyalgia. Talk to your doctor about this treatment option.
SUFFER FROM ARTHRITIS? You’re not alone. Arthritis is a common condition that affects people of all ages, including children. According to the NHS, more than 10 million people in the UK have arthritis or similar conditions.
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I’m single… and proud! Written by Jivan Dempsey
D
oes this time of year feel really hard if you are single? February brings Valentine’s Day with romantic images of loved-up couple having dinner dates, holding hands and, if you are single, everywhere you look you see couples doing couple-y type things…ugh!
Don’t get me wrong I don’t have anything against couples. I’ve been there! But why is it that being in a couple is perceived as somehow more preferable than being on your own? Society validates you if you are in a relationship but if you’re single its somehow negative – like it should only be a temporary state and finding a partner is essential to make you whole! We are continually bombarded by marketing messages aimed at couples – from going on a holiday, buying furniture or even a home – but is being in a couple better? With the government’s own figures showing the UK divorce rate rising year on year, (ONS, 2018), maybe its time to change the narrative and celebrate being single? 48 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
After all, being single isn’t an illness and here are 5 good reasons to declare: “I’m single and proud…!”
#1 BEING SINGLE
DOESN’T HAVE TO BE SCARY
Its okay to be single and proud. It doesn’t have to mean you will remain single for the rest of your life unless you want to be - we’re not all cut out to be the marrying kind, right? - and if you are single right now … be proud! If you can be fine with being single you are more likely to like yourself. Think of all the things you can do when you are single – go out when you want, date, flirt, travel and enjoy being independent. Remember it’s OK to have a great time if you are single ... and who knows what might happen.
#2 DON’T JUST SETTLE
For some of us, being part of a couple is just the way we prefer to be. Being single isn’t something we want or would chose for ourselves and maybe that eagerness to find love may reflect underlying fears and anxieties of: - being left on the shelf, seeing long lonely years stretching ahead Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 49
Think of all the things you can do when you are single: Go out where you want, whenever you want to Date Flirt Travel Enjoy being independent
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- perhaps feel our body clock ticking away and wondering when you can start a family - constant tedious questions and from friends and family wanting relationship status updates and making unwelcome and uncalled for comparisons! Ugh! All of this can make us settle and it isn’t ideal. These types of relationships can be exhausting, unhealthy or possibly toxic. Just settling means jumping into a relationship without really getting to know each other, not valuing yourself and showing your insecurities. Just settling can be worse than being alone, leaving you isolated and unhappy. You owe it to yourself to not settle for anything less than perfect so focus on your mindset and selfworth.
#3 REMEMBER
YOU’RE PERFECT
Stop swiping right and wasting your time on people who bring nothing into your life, except maybe heartbreak. Reframe how you feel about yourself – remember you’re perfect - and redefine your own self-worth. Don’t rely on being part of a couple to make you happy, as you are responsible for your
“
You owe it to yourself to not settle for anything less than perfect so focus on your mindset and selfworth.
own happiness. However the trouble is many single people don’t believe this because they don’t place enough value on their own company and their own thoughts, and instead need to have a sense of validation from being part of a couple. Remember you’re perfect and it’s OK to enjoy spending time on your own and if you are having a good time, you won’t need anyone else. That way, when you do choose to leave the single life behind you, you will have enjoyed it and be ready for a relationship confident in the knowledge that you love yourself the way you would want a partner to love you.
#4 WORK ON
YOURSELF
Being single can be empowering. It’s a really positive and healthy time to focus on your wellbeing
and “me” time to recharge and rejuvenate. It’s a great opportunity to work on yourself, explore your freedom, push yourself, develop new skills and gain new experiences. In this way you learn to be comfortable being single, accept who you are and what really matters to you without compromise. You can be responsible for your own happiness - without having to check in with a partner and negotiating for what you want - and develop a better sense of who you are and what really matters to you. Being single gives you time to really find out who you are, your tastes and interests by digging deep and determining your qualities.
#5 MAKE THE
MOST OF YOUR INDEPENDENCE
See being single as a chance to do lots of independent things. This is the time to keep busy – more travelling, maybe look to change your job, meet new people, flirt more, spend more time with your family. … all the things you can’t do now or perhaps is limited when you are in a couple. It’s important to keep busy and socially active. Research shows that Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 51
loneliness and isolation can have dangerous stress related consequences for both our health and mental wellness. Create a routine that works for you and don’t feel afraid to lean on your group of close friends or groups of people with shared interests around you who can be really supportive. This can lead to a higher quality of life and mental resilience. Why not look at volunteering as this will make you feel good about the work you
are doing, and you’ll have a chance to meet other volunteers too. Being single does allow you to live life to the fullest so doesn’t have to be depressing. So, be single and proud! Jivan Dempsey is a Person centred NLP integrative hypnotherapist, life coach and occupational psychologist (https://www. jivandempsey.com)
Interested in volunteering? Do-it is a national volunteering database in the UK. Visit http:// doittrust.org/ to search for opportunities available near you.
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Written by Jo Emerson Confidence Coach, Human Behaviour Expert, Author (www.jo-emerson.com)
HAPPY COUPLES How to Keep Your Relationship Happy EVERY DAY (Not Just on Valentine’s Day) 54 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
V
alentine’s Day is marketed to us as a ‘day for lovers’ and, of course, in some ways it is. It’s a day to maybe put extra thought into your primary relationship and make more effort to show your special person just how much they mean to you. But, I would argue that every day is a day for lovers because actively loving your partner (and yourself) is the key to keeping your relationship happy every day. I would also argue that the whole point of life is to love (ourselves, our world, our children, our friends, the strangers we meet, our partners, our parents etc) so the more loving we do the more we are living!
I’ve experienced Valentine’s Day in several different relationship states - I’ve been in an okay relationship, an unhappy relationship, long term single and I’m now in the most wonderful relationship with a beautiful man. When I was single, which I was for six-years after the breakdown of my marriage, I learnt what it took to actively love and accept myself, which was the very best training ground for loving my partner today. Active love means asking yourself what the object of your love needs and finding ways to try and achieve this. As a singleton this meant finding time for myself (I had three young daughters and a job so this was no mean feat), accepting my limitations, celebrating my small successes, talking to someone about how I felt and, crucially, learning to manage the critic in my head (about which I then wrote a book because it was so life changing). Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 55
In fact, learning to really love myself meant that by the time I met my partner I had reached a state of happy acceptance of my singleness. I knew it was not my partner’s job to fix me or make me happy (that was my job!). It was, however, our joint job to nourish and tend to the amazing relationship we now found ourselves in and we continue to do this by actively loving each other and putting each other’s needs top of our lists (when the children don’t get in their first!).
“
Love is a gift that feeds on itself - it needs love to stay alive.
Love is a gift that comes along when we least expect it. Love cannot be manufactured but when it lands in your life it’s your job to keep it alive and well by being loving! Love is a gift that feeds on itself - it needs love to stay alive. So get busy loving and I reckon you’ll find that every day could feel like Valentine’s Day (maybe without the tacky roses and overpriced chocolates though…)
MY TOP 5 TIPS FOR MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIP HAPPINESS #1 BE GRATEFUL I literally pinch myself daily that I get to experience the kind of love I have with my partner. I’m so grateful for him - his kindness, his sexy smile, his love for me, the way he loves my daughters, his loyalty, his sense of humour. I am grateful for everything that is uniquely him and I am grateful for this incredible experience of true love. I know what it is to struggle in an ailing relationship and I know the loneliness of early singleness (before acceptance arrived.) I know that the love we have is pure magic and if 56 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
it ended tomorrow I know I’d be grateful for having experienced it. This ‘attitude of gratitude’ makes me focus on all that is right about my life and my love. It doesn’t mean I don’t talk about the tricky stuff - we always do - but my frame of mind is always one of happy gratitude.
#2 BE KIND AND LOVING My man and I are always finding little ways to show loving kindnesses to each other. Why? Because it makes us feel lovely to give them and lovely to receive
them. I always open the side gate to our home and put the outside lights on for him in winter so he doesn’t have to fumble in the dark for his keys when he gets home on his bike. He makes me breakfast in bed every weekend. We text to see how each other is doing throughout the day. He checks the tyres and brakes on my bike for me. I make sure we always have his favourite tea in the house. We call each other ‘babe’ and ‘darling’. These are not big things but are little daily/weekly acts of positivity and love that keep the relationship alive.
#3 DEAL WITH YOUR OWN STUFF AND DON’T STOP BEING YOU! I think the NUMBER ONE key to successful, happy relationships is learning to manage your own stuff and not expecting your partner to fix you. We often seek healing from our childhoods in our intimate relationships but our partners can’t do this for us. So, if you feel unhappy and keep pointing the finger of blame at your partner, remember there are three fingers pointing back at you so get some psychological help to deal with your stuff. On the flip side, lots of people lose their identity in their relationship - this is love-suicide because your partner loses the person they first fell in love with (and you lose yourself!). So, please keep being you and doing all the things you did before you fell in love!
#4 LISTEN We each have two ears and one mouth - using them in proportion is good for all relationships. Show you partner you are listening to them by making eye contact, repeating back to them what they’ve just said, touching them (to show support) and nodding. Don’t give advice unless they ask for
it - often people just want to be heard. Allowing your partner a safe space to talk about things as they crop up builds trust, enables you both to be honest and open, and allows for vulnerability to grow which is the magic ingredient necessary for any form of true intimacy.
#5 LAUGH Laughing with your partner is an amazing experience! Lots of couples giggle together frequently but if you don’t or this part of your relationship has died then find ways to laugh together again - maybe watch a comedy box set together, or go to a comedy night or (better still) try something new in the bedroom (that’ll likely get you both giggling!). Laughing together is another way to build and maintain intimacy. The above list is not exclusive - loyalty, great sex, trust, honesty and courage are also hugely important in keeping your relationship happy. Oh, and if you’re single and reading this - do something wonderfully loving for yourself around Valentine’s you absolutely do not have to be in a relationship to love and feel loved!
Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 57
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Can Exercise
Enhance Your Sex Life? 62 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
I
f your sex drive isn’t what it used to be, don’t be so quick to blame it on your age. The answer to a low libido may be as simple as putting on exercise shoes and moving your body more. It appears that exercise may be a simple, all-natural way to increase libido. Not only can it increase desire, there’s some evidence that the increased blood flow associated with exercise can help with erectile dysfunction in men.
Why does exercise increase libido? The reasons exercise can give your sex life a boost is probably multi-factorial. Exercise gets the heart pumping and increases blood flow to all parts of the body including sexual organs which can enhance desire while enabling better sexual performance. Exercise also promotes weight loss and
studies have shown that obesity is associated with a higher incidence of erectile dysfunction in men. When you exercise, certain hormonal changes take place that can indirectly increase libido. When you swing into a fast-paced exercise routine your sympathetic nervous system kicks out higher levels of adrenaline,
a hormone which pumps you up and heightens your sense of awareness. This helps to fuel a more powerful sex drive. Exercise also increases the release of the “feel good” hormones known as endorphins which can promote relaxation and reduce performance anxiety. Both of these powerful body chemicals can help to increase libido and enhance
If your sex life could use a little boost, why not do it the healthy natural way?
Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 63
sexual performance. Another way exercise increases libido is by fostering a greater sense of self confidence. When you exercise, you become more aware of your body as well as more self confident about your appearance. This can cause you to be less inhibited and self conscious and more secure in your relationship. An article published in American Fitness in 2004 showed that testosterone levels in men increase within an hour after working out. Women also produce low levels of testosterone and get a boost in testosterone production after a vigorous workout. Higher testosterone levels are associated with higher sexual desire. One of the best ways to increase libido and enhance your sex life is to start an exercise program with your partner. Working out together can be a sensual, relationship strengthening experience. Choose something that both of you enjoy. Biking, jogging, and hiking are good ways to strengthen your heart while pumping out hormones that will enhance your sex drive. Lifting weights as a twosome can also bring you closer together while increasing testosterone levels. You can even find special workout 64 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
“
One of the best ways to increase libido & enhance your sex life is to start an exercise program with your partner.
videos designed specifically for couples by doing a search online. Exercise is a safe and natural way to increase libido while doing something healthy for your body and your mind. If your sex life could use a little boost, why not do it the healthy natural way?
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The Mysterious Pineal Gland
T
he pineal gland, which is sometimes referred to as the third eye, is a small endocrine gland about the size of a raisin. The pineal gland has important physical functions. It is also considered by many to be the most mysterious part of the human body. Some people believe that the pineal gland links the physical body with the spiritual world.
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PHYSIOLOGY The pineal gland is a reddish-gray color. It is located in the geometrical center of the brain, right between the left and right hemispheres. The pineal gland is the only part of the brain that is not cut off from the rest of the body by the blood-brain barrier. The pineal gland looks similar to a tiny pine cone and its main function is to produce the hormone melatonin. Melatonin is an antioxidant hormone which neutralizes the damaging impact of free radicals. Melatonin also regulates the biological rhythms of
the body. The sleep/wake pattern, for example, is regulated by the hormone melatonin. The pineal gland also secretes an antioxidant compound called pinolene.
FLUORIDE Fluoride, which is found in tap water and toothpaste, impacts the pineal gland once it is introduced to the human body. Consuming
fluoride leads to the calcification of the pineal gland. In other words fluoride hardens both the soft and hard tissue of the pineal gland. This impedes the production of melatonin and interferes with the biological rhythms of the body. Hence someone whose pineal gland has calcified may have problems dropping off to sleep at night.
CONSPIRACY THEORY Some conspiracy theorists believe that the powers that be put fluoride in drinking water on purpose, with the aim of blocking the psychic awareness of the populace.
The sleep/wake pattern is regulated by the hormone melatonin, which is produced by the pineal gland.
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Opening or activating the pineal gland is said to lead to greater psychic awareness, and knowledge of the divine self.
METAPHYSICAL BELIEFS The pineal gland has been linked to the metaphysical for thousands of years. During the course of history, many religious and spiritual leaders have endeavored to reach higher consciousness by awakening the pineal gland. 72 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
Some people believe that the pineal gland is a channel that links the physical body to the higher self. The pineal gland is also known as the sixth chakra. Opening or activating the pineal gland is said to lead to greater psychic awareness, and knowledge of the divine
self. It has even been suggested that opening the pineal gland allows the individual to see beyond space-time into time-space. People who wish to activate their pineal gland generally attempt to do so via meditation or visualization yoga.
NATIONAL TRUST www.nationaltrust.org.uk
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3
4 Cornerstones of Living Quietly
Creating a supportive space for yourself, both mentally and physically
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No1 Botanicals
is the world’s first range of ten single extract herbal drinks
harnessing the power of nature. Each is made from the fresh herb, carefully extracted to ensure all the active compounds in nature are retained inside the drink. The herbs have been carefully selected for their long history of health and wellness benefits, and the extracts have been authenticated by the scientists at the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew. Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 75
From Acciaroli to Kew
began.
The story of No1 Botanicals started with a tiny Italian hamlet that, for a long time hid a big secret. Unlocking that secret has led us on a journey of discovery of the power of herbs.
Tasting, learning and immersing himself in the history and flavours of botanicals, David teamed up with the botanists at Blue Sky Botanics and collaborated with the scientists at Kew, to select the nine new herbs - Rosemary’s new family.
In Acciaroli, more than 1 in 10 residents live to over 100 years old. A team of scientists from Rome’s La Sapienza University and the University of California’s San Diego School of Medicine identified rosemary as the key ingredient added to their otherwise classically Mediterranean diet. No1 Botanicals founder, David Spencer-Percival, heard this story and set out on a mission to capture the herb’s goodness. He created No1 Rosemary Water, the first single extract botanical drink, which is now enjoyed the world over, and the adventure into the world of herbs
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The Power of Botanicals The history of the herbs Throughout history, herbs such as meadowsweet, basil, sage and thyme have been used to flavour food and drink and to relieve ailments. According to legend, students in Ancient Greece wore garlands of rosemary around their necks to help them concentrate in exams.
It has been confirmed by the World Health Organisation that herbal remedies serve the needs of about 80% of the world’s population; especially for millions of people in the vast rural areas of developing countries (Leslie Taylor's Plant Based Drugs and Medicines from RainTree Nutrition (2000)).
According to Newman and Cragg 2012, over 50% of the drugs approved for medical use over the last 30 years are derived either directly or indirectly from natural products. Take meadowsweet, for example. The scientific name was once Spiraea - today, it’s where Aspirin gets its name. Aspirin was developed from the compound salicylic acid, which was isolated from meadowsweet and white willow. Founder of No1 Botanicals, David Spencer-Percival said: “People are looking for more from their soft-drinks today - they are seeking out more sophisticated flavours while being more mindful of what they’re putting in their bodies than ever before. It has been an amazing journey to bring No1 Botanicals to market. We are thrilled to be launching first in Harvey Nichols, Harrods and Selfridges and to be collaborating with Kew has been a real honour. Your choice of water just got more interesting than simply “still or sparkling?” Professor Monique Simmonds, Deputy Director of Science at Kew, said: “Kew is pleased to be partnering with No1 Botanicals on this new range, which will add a refreshing option to the soft drinks market. Kew has a long history of promoting a more natural approach to our everyday lives and the products that we consume, so this partnership makes perfect sense.”
Why we’ve chosen the No1 Botanicals herbs BASIL Ancient wisdom suggested that Basil is energizing, lifts the spirits, combats intellectual fatigue, and promotes mental stamina. FENNE With a naturally sweet and cleansing taste, fennel has been traditionally taken to help boost the immune system to fight off colds and associated aches and pains. MINT Spearmint has a tangy flavour that is very refreshing. It has a long tradition as a gentle tonic to ease an upset stomach. JUNIPER Juniper berry has a sharp, earthy flavour, and in folk medicine a drink made from the berries was taken to sooth cough and chest ailments. THYME A refreshing formulation, thyme was revered by the ancients for curing a hangover. It was also attributed to help fight tiredness and lift the spirits.
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LEMON VERBENA Lemon Verbena has a tingling, warming citrus flavour. This is a drink to meditate with! It has many traditional uses and was taken to assist sleep and for the relief of common digestive complaints. OLIVE LEAF Olives and beauty go hand in hand. Olive leaves have been used for centuries to improve the skin’s appearance. MEADOWSWEET The scientific name was once Spiraea and it’s where bitter aspirin gets its name. Aspirin was developed from the compound salicylic acid, which was isolated from meadowsweet and white willow. However, meadowsweet - as suggested by its common name - has a sweet and refreshing taste.
SAGE The elegance of age – Sage was believed to help keep the mind fresh and youthful. ROSEMARY Drinks flavoured with rosemary have a soothing flavour and taste. Rosemary has a wide range of traditional uses from helping to alleviate muscle pain, improving memory and the circulatory system. Tales about its ability to enhance memory can be traced all the way back to Ancient Greece.
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www.rosemarywater.com Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 79
FENG SHUI in Your Home
L
iterally translated, feng shui means wind water. Good feng shui in a home can mean good, positive energy flow, resulting in good luck. The flow of energy in the different regions of the home are created and regulated with different items and colors. Following some simple tips and guidelines can help bring a positive energy flow into your home.
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PLANTS One simple thing you can do to improve the feng shui in your office or home is to bring plants into the space. The healthy, vibrant energy from nature will help you improve balance in your life. Feng shui plants are chosen for their abilities to purify the air. They include: Areca Palm Removes all tested indoor air toxins. Lady Palm Removes most indoor pollutants. Bamboo Palm Removes benzene, trichloroethylene, and formaldehyde. Rubber Plant Removes formaldehyde. Dracaena Janet Craig Removes trichloroethylene
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FOUNTAINS Fountains can be used inside your home to improve feng shui. For feng shui, the fountain does not necessarily have to look Asian. They do, however, have to work harmoniously with your home decor style. Water energy, which symbolizes wealth and prosperity, is brought into the home with feng shui fountains. There are three areas of the home in which feng shui fountains work best: East Good health for the family Southeast Prosperity and abundance North Wealthy career path Avoid placing your fountain in the southern region of your house, as this will interfere with fire energy, which represents fame and reputation. Since water puts out fire, it is not a good idea to put the fountain where you should really have a fireplace. It is also important not to put the fountain in your bedroom. Water energy, when brought into the bedroom, brings about an environment of constant worry. House of Bath Solar-powered Fairy Liliana Water Feature, ÂŁ99.95
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MIRRORS Different types of mirrors are used in homes for good feng shui. Mirrors give the appearance that the space is bigger than it really is. They are also used to draw in the beneficial chi or energy. With proper placement, mirrors can create positive energy flow within your home. Standard Mirror Regular mirrors with regular frames mean different things for feng shui depending on their shape and frame material. A round mirror with a gold leaf frame will bring wealth and abundance. Concave Mirror Used predominantly outdoors on a front patio or back deck. The mirrors produce a condensed, upside-down reflection. Convex Mirror Used to protect. Used indoors and outdoors to protect the house and the contents within. For good feng shui, avoid putting mirrors on the wall directly facing the front door. In addition, avoid putting mirrors on the wall facing your bed.
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CRYSTALS When placed strategically around your house, crystals can help produce positive energy flow and bring good feng shui. Black tourmaline, obsidian, and hematite Place these just inside or outside your front door for their protective energies. Rose quartz hearts (2) Place these in the southern (or love) region of the house for a happy energy flow. A bowl of rose quartz crystals can also be placed in the bedroom for the same effect. Blue kyanite Used in jewelry or as decorations. Blue kyanite crystals do not need to be cleansed because they never attract negative energy. Promotes protection and relaxation / stress relief. Citrine Used in jewelry or as decorations. The citrine crystals attract wealth. Like blue kyanite, citrines don’t ever need to be cleansed. It is a good idea to cleanse the crystals by submerging them in pure water. They can also be smudged during feng shui space clearing sessions.
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COLOURS Purple Avoid using this colour on the walls. An overuse or use of this colour on the walls can trigger blood disease. If you must, limit the use of purple to lighter shades like lavender. Purple, however, can be used freely in the healing or meditation space. Red Use moderately in children’s rooms, but freely in the kitchen, living, and dining rooms. This vibrant colour signifies fire and passion and is used to represent love, happiness and marriage. Green Used everywhere but in the North Region. Green is a colour that balances your whole body, being the colour of growth and healing. Orange The good and the bad. Orange is the fire element for feng shui energy. It should be used in the South, Southwest, and Northeast Regions and avoided in the West, Northwest, and East. Pink The universal colour of love. Pink should definitely be used in the Southwestern Region of the home. It is also most appropriate to use in a little girl’s bedroom. Pink flows well with orange, green, and black and can create positive energy in those combinations. Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 85
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The artistic heritage of Montmartre 90 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
P
aris attracts tourists from all over the world, many of whom visit the city looking for the artistic legacy for which the ‘City of Light’ is famous for. Montmartre has long been the city’s Bohemian and artistic area, and at one time this picturesque neighborhood was home to Picasso, Utrillo, ToulouseLautrec and others. Towards the end of the 19th century, Montmartre was a village located outside the city and painters, sculptors and craftsmen were attracted to the area, because of its proximity to the city and cheap rents. Today, Montmartre has long since been swallowed up by Paris, although it retains much of its village like atmosphere.
Most visitors to Montmartre inevitably end up in the touristy but picturesque Place du Tertre. The square is surrounded by cafes and restaurants, and is also full of painters of varying levels of skill. You may have to firmly turn down the requests of the many portrait painters who are well known for being persistent, although a self-portrait or caricature makes an excellent souvenir. One of the most famous and historic eating
places in the square is the restaurant ‘A la Mere Catherine’, once the haunt of Russian soldiers. While waiting to be served, they would often yell out ‘bistro!’ meaning ‘quickly!’ – which gave us the word bistro. This hilly neighborhood is also famous for its stone staircases, or escaliers and the nearest staircase is often the shortest distance between two points here. The Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 91
photographer Brassai captured the stone stairways in some of his photographs of the 1920s and 30s, as well as various other aspects of the seedier side of the city. Montmartre is also one of the best places in the city to enjoy spectacular views over Paris, and on a clear day views extend almost 30 miles. People often meet on the stairs immediately in front of the Sacre-Couer cathedral, and this is also a good spot to enjoy some impromptu street entertainment. A good place to get an overview of the area’s artistic legacy is by visiting the small but fascinating Museum of Montmartre, located a few hundred yards from the Place du Tertre. The museum is housed in a 17th century house, where Renoir once had a modest studio, and produced some of his most famous paintings. The lower floor of the museum captures the history and artistic legacy of the area in rooms of old photos, paintings and drawings. The museum’s upper floors contain exhibits relating to the artists who occupied the house at one time or another. The museum is usually uncrowded and can be seen in less than an hour. Visiting the museum 92 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
is a bit like looking through a particularly well-stocked attic. A few minutes stroll from the museum will take you to the Place Emile-Goudeau, one of the delightful and charming smaller squares of the neighborhood. At no. 13 is the BateauLavoir, a small art studio that many artists, including Picasso and Modigliani once called home. Picasso painted one of his most famous and controversial paintings, Les Desmoiselles d’Avignon here, a painting widely considered to be one of the first Cubist paintings. The original building was burnt down but replaced in 1978 and still has about 25 artists and sculptors working here. You can see – and purchase - their work which is displayed in the large showroom. Another building of artistic interest close to here is the building in Rue Gabrielle where Picasso had his first studio in Paris. Towards the top of the butte, not far from the Montmartre vineyard, you can still find the ‘Pink House’ the subject of one of Utrillo’s most wellknown paintings, at 2 Rue de l’Abreuvoir and something of a local landmark. Windmills are
another unique feature of the area and have been immortalized on canvas many times. On the corner of Rue Lepic and Avenue Junot you can still see the picturesque windmill, Moulin de la Galette, now part of a restaurant. The windmill was the subject of one of Renoir’s most famous paintings, which can be seen in the Musee d’Orsay. Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 93
Perhaps the most famous Montmartre artist of them all was Toulouse-Lautrec. He managed to accurately capture the twilight world of the prostitutes, artists and of course the famous dancing girls at the Moulin Rouge. The show is not as scandalous as it once was but a visit to the spectacular floor show at the Moulin Rouge is still a unique- if expensive Parisian experience. The distinctive red windmill sails still turn on top of the building, making this perhaps the world’s most famous nightclub.
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How to: Make Great First Impressions I
t is extremely important that people have a good first impression of you.
As everybody knows, first impressions really count, because they are going to affect the way the other person sees you for the rest of your relationship.
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Before we go on, let’s ask ourselves... What is a first impression? It’s the first feelings and thoughts a person has toward you when he sees you or listens to you for the first time. The first impression is made during the first few minutes, and it’s influenced by the way you look, act, dress, and talk. Why is a good first impression important? If you go to school, your peer’s first impression
of you will determine whether you make new friends or not. If you are a salesperson, a customer’s first impression of you will influence whether he buys your product or not. If you go to a job interview, the first impression the interviewer has of you will influence his final hiring decision. You have to make a great first impression! Now, that may be easy for the chosen few who can strike up a conversation with just about anyone, but for some of us it’s not so easy. Some of us always
feel that we fall a little short, that we just can’t get it right. How do you make a good impression? There is one way which always works. You might need a little practice, but if you follow this advice, you will make excellent first impressions: - First of all, smile. Give the person you are meeting a big smile. Everybody loves a person who is happy to see them. - Cheerfully greet the person with a loud, hearty
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“Hi” or “Hello” and give them a firm handshake. - Try to say the other person’s name at least once in the conversation. - Act the way you would act if you were meeting a good friend who had been away for a long time. Be enthusiastic. - Always make eye contact, it makes a person feel special. If you are meeting a group of people, make sure to make eye contact with all of them. - Stand or sit up straight
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and do not cross your arms. Body language is very important. - Show people that you are happy to meet them, and they will feel happy to meet you. Practice this technique until it becomes second nature. Practice in front of a mirror, practice with a family member or a friend.
Practice! It might feel awkward at first, but in a short time you will find it easier and easier to start and keep
conversations with people you would not have dared to approach in the past, and you will be making great first impressions.
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When an elderly villager is found in an open grave in the Cotswold village of Wendlebury Barrow, Sophie’s suspicions of murder are overruled by the officious local doctor – but can she prove a sinister plot is afoot before the assailant strikes again? In an often hilarious but also poignant story of family, friendship, love and loss, Sophie and her bookseller boss/boyfriend Hector endeavour to untangle the messy relationships within a long-established village clan, to whom half the village claim to be related. Like Sophie’s previous adventures, this newest addition to the series offers plenty of clever yet gentle humour, but it also marks Sophie’s growing wisdom, understanding and thoughtfulness as she becomes more settled as part of the village community and more confident in her role as self-appointed amateur local sleuth.
Available on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/Debbie-Young/e/ B009GLU6XU/
Popular characters return from previous books in the series, such as the orderly shopkeeper Carol, local gardener and gravedigger Billy, unruly teenager Tommy and his spirited little sister Sina. Joining them are intriguing neighbours, the mischievous old Bunny, her addled daughter Kitty, and Petunia Lot, leading light of the Cats Prevention charity. But not all will live to tell the tale… Springtime for Murder is the fifth in the Sophie Sayers Village Mysteries series.
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DUNE London www.dunelondon.com
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DUNE London
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4
4 Cornerstones of Living Quietly
Learning to say NO
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Acceptance: Can You Afford Not To Allow It Into Your Life? Written by Kay Elizabeth
A
cceptance means different things to different people. Acceptance, to me, is when you make the conscious decision to be at peace about an event or person that perhaps previously you would have been judgmental about, but no longer have the desire to be that way and so respect their freedom of choice.
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There comes a time on different occasions when we realise that parts of our lives are no longer what we need to become the person that we want to be. As we grow in wisdom and learn by experience, it appears that our thoughts, rather than becoming more complicated, tend to simplify. A clarity of inner vision develops because we are seeing more than is on the surface, getting straight to the heart of the matter rather than judging it by what our eyes alone see when we look at others or ourselves. We pay attention to our inner voice and learn to trust its guidance. We begin to see what works for us and what does not. What is helpful in our world and what is not. What is right for us and what is not. As we recognize these differences, we make choices whether to continue to allow them to be part of our lives or to let them die a natural death, so to speak. Acceptance allows you to relinquish that nagging voice that encourages you to reproach or doubt yourself and your decision making skills. It calms you, reminding you that you have made the choices that only you 106 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
can make, under your own steam. People all over the world rightly so do the same thing for themselves. They do not need anyone else to say if they are right or wrong in their choices and find some level of contentment in that. When we can accept situations created by others that are beyond our control, especially when we do not agree with them, we no longer feel the need to have some kind of negative emotional reaction to it. This frees up that energy to be channeled elsewhere, into positive, fulfilling activities of the mind and the heart. If we practice acceptance of their right to exercise free will, then that has to be a better option than to feel a tide of draining negativity in whatever form it takes. So perhaps if we learn to accept that everyone in this world is learning, just as we are, and we are all on our own paths, that brings peace to us. The key is in letting go of the desire to need or seek out their approval or opinion, and the accompanying emotional responses that it brings to the fore in us. We do not have to take their route, nor do they have to take ours. We may walk a while together or we
may not. With acceptance in our hearts, there is room for us all to walk different roads or the same ones - sometimes armin-arm, sometimes miles apart - without hurting one another along the way and allowing plentiful space for tolerance to grow by the roadside.
“
I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me. - C. JoyBell C. Browse books by C. Joybell C. at: www.amazon.co.uk/C.JoyBell-C./e/B003KY3ZFU
With acceptance in our hearts, there is room for us all to walk different roads, or the same ones, sometimes arm-in-arm, sometimes miles apart, without hurting one another along the way and allowing plentiful space for tolerance to grow by the roadside.
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Each custom poster is beautifully printed on high-quality photographic paper and colours will not fade over time when exposed to light. If you wish you can purchase a high-res download and print it yourself Framed options are available, or the print can be sent unframed in two different sizes so you can choose your own frame. Print: £59.95 - £79.95 Download version: £29.95
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THE INTERNET: Where Love
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Imagine... You’re in the nice coffee shop around the corner. You’re sipping coffee and chewing on a nice little cookie just as your possible soulmate enters the room. All air is now gone and only the light from her dazzling smile allows you to see. She turns to you; this is your moment, smile! Oh wait. No. She looks away and walks away to her friend who is unfortunately more than just a tad more attractive than you. Don’t worry, swallow your sadness, flip open your laptop and ravish the free wi-fi – THERE’S ALWAYS THE INTERNET!
“Love is governed by feeling, not appearance”.
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That little story is exactly what is right – and wrong, if you want to be cynical about it – with love and the internet. Society today is far too fixated on looks and appearance – however, we really cannot blame the people.
“
This is precisely what the internet is rid of – superficial judgements acting as precursors towards a person.
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When we first see someone, we instinctively judge them. We see their appearance, not their personality. Just as a hundred years ago where attractiveness was depicted by wealth and status, it is now defined by how tall you are, or how much facial hair you have, or how beautiful your eyes are. This is precisely what the internet is rid of – superficial judgements acting as precursors towards a person. There will always be those who will say and think:
“But the internet is far too dangerous and shady for true love to occur! You could be speaking to a pervert! Or your ex! Or your Dad!” This is where courage comes in people. What is the difference between talking to a random stranger on Facebook, or Tinder or any other chat or networking site and talking to a random person in a bar? There is exactly none. In fact, those online may even take the chance to get to know you, understand you, relate and share –
those at the bar would probably just try to hit on you. The fact that you cannot see their face should not be a deterrent – love is governed by feeling, not appearance. Appearance will fade, wither and die. What you are left with are the memories, the personality and the feelings and it is exactly this what the internet allows us to explore with such depth. Of course, the risks are always present. Yes, the person you are talking to could be a 60 year old rapist living in the attic with his many figurines of victims and stuffed dead cats, but the dashingly handsome man in club Laloo-blueza could just as well be a serial killer who tattoos his victim’s dying faces on his backside. The risks are always present.
love/like your internet counterpart). Finally – and perhaps the best reason to choose the internet to meet people – is that so many people use it. Only on the internet can you meet millions and
millions of people, thereby million-drupling your chances to meet your love and soulmate. You would be crazy not to do so.
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Be safe, be smart. Don’t meet in a private place if you are to meet. This is again why the internet offers such a great venue for true love to blossom – space can be given. It feels comfortable and offers an escape from the stress of non-internet life. There are no strings, no “call me tomorrow!” You can log on, chat, send e-mails exactly when you please (granted it’s not too far apart if you truly Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6 | 113
Tell someone if you are feeling overwhelmed or depressed. Friends - family - medical professionals or call the Samaritans. Never suffer alone. If you ask, someone will help you ...
www.samaritans.org Call the Samaritans: 116 123 114 | Living Quietly Magazine | Issue 6
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GEORGE Home https://direct.asda.com
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TEAPIGS
www.teapigs.co.uk
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Curiouser, and curiouser...open your mind to curiousities and insightment in Tasgal’s newest book, The Inspiratorium
The perfect gift book for those who love curiosities and facts, words and games. If you’re a fan of HQ Trivia, Trivial Pursuit and the likes, you’ll enjoy The Inspiratorium.
“Real insights only emerge when we have the time to experiment with the mind’s filters. Anthony Tasgal, who has deservedly made a living from his insights, can teach you how to do this. If you haven’t got time to read this book, that’s precisely why you need it.” Rory Sutherland, Vice Chairman Ogilvy Group
Available on Amazon: www.amazon.co.uk/Inspiratorium-AnthonyTasgal/dp/1911498460
What do Game of Thrones, David Beckham and Einstein have in common? From the award-winning author of The Storytelling Book, comes Anthony Tasgal’s newest book, The Inspiratorium: A Space for the Curious, a place where insightful ideas come to meet, grow, evolve and flourish. A treasure chest of thoughts, ideas and short readings to make people feel smarter, happier and more likely to advance in their work and personal life, The Inspiratorium will inspire, delight and educate its readers. Flitting between the poles of science and art, quantum physics and epic poetry, philosophy and football, ancient history and artificial intelligence, this little book is a web of connections. The Inspiratorium is random, serendipitous, and spontaneous. Take a leap into the unknown!
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With Oxfam Unwrapped, you really can give a gift that lasts. Because when you surprise your loved one with a goat, a chicken or even a pineapple, you’ll help people around the world beat poverty - for good. www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped
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