LIVING QUIETLY ISSUE #2 | OCTOBER 2018
Make Reading a Priority
What Has Age Taught You? We Asked Our Readers
Stunning Sculptures nestled in the heart of the Dorset countryside 5 Authors share their short stories & poetry
How to forgive others and let go
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Once a creative past-time stereotypically associated with knitting, tea cosies and ladies of leisure, sewing is being adopted by stressed professionals as a way to relax and escape from the pressures of corporate life, even if it’s just for a few minutes. For Beckie Andrews, 31 and founder of British lifestyle brand www.notforponies.com, embroidery and applique began as a way of tuning out from her busy, high-pressure job as a marketing manager, taking time out from the internet and drifting off into her own creative utopia. “I always loved my day job, but the continual pressure and stress of constantly being responsible for driving a business forward started to take it’s toll on me. When I got in from work, I found it challenging to switch off and stop thinking about the day’s events, I was constantly feeling tense and had trouble sleeping. I started Not For Ponies as a hobby, I found that sewing in the evenings helped me to zone out, and focussing on the repetitive motion of sewing helped me to switch off from work. I’m naturally an over-thinker with a busy brain, so it helped to calm my thoughts and relax my mind. I sew almost every day now, and it really helps to manage stress. My creative practice encourages me to take a digital detox, taking a break from my phone, laptop and social media - all of these things help me sleep much better. Sewing is an excuse to enjoy some ‘me time’ and I genuinely believe that it makes me happier and more positive, which is something that comes through in my brand. I wanted to create a brand that could make others feel happy too, so the designs are fun and uplifting. I find a lot of inspiration in everyday life, whether it’s cute dogs and cats, my pet rabbit, woodland animals or a quintessential cup of tea. I love to create things that will make people smile when they’re having one of those ‘meh’ days!” 6
By Lauren Pinkney, Features Editor at Large
Life can be hectic. From school runs to spinning classes, commuting to cooking - sometimes it feels like there isn’t time to breathe.
Reading is something we can all fit into our days to some extent and the benefits of doing so on our mindsets and actions are astounding.
In order to live a peaceful, meaningful life, it is essential to find time in the day to reflect and detach from the pressures of modern society. If we are constantly stumbling through our days from one distraction to the next, our actions are at risk of becoming reactive rather than deliberate. Once we stop living deliberately, i.e being aware of what we spend our time on and focussing our energies the areas of life we value most, we can feel like we’re losing control.
It seems reading tends to be a luxury a lot of people save for when on holiday. But if people brought a thread of the things that serve their wellbeing whilst on holiday into their daily or weekly routine, how much healthier could our society be?� Journalling, yoga and meditation are all popular methods of finding time in the day to do this but, for many of us, they can seem too time-intensive and awkward to fit into our day to day lives.
So, how can reading improve your quality of life?
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Stephanie Huston served as the NYC Board of Directors President for The United Women in Business Foundation, a non-profit working to boost the professional development and education of women. As a traveller, writer and influencer, it's safe to say she has a pretty busy life and social media plays a huge role in it.
Mindless scrolling through celebrity gossip and the #blessed lives of others can have huge negative impacts on ourselves. The constant social comparisons and notifications about the goings-ons of others erodes our self-esteem and makes us feel inferior and disheartened. But like any bad habit, it can be replaced with a better one. Last year, Stephanie pledged to read 50 books in 2018 - just less than one book a week. For those of us who barely read one book a year, this might seem an impossible challenge. “Living in a city (NYC, now London), there are a lot of random 5-15 minute spurts of time when you're waiting for a subway, or to pick up dinner somewhere - and those minutes add up!
Instead of automatically reaching for my phone, I started reaching for my book, and it's made all the difference!” Stephanie explained, “these days when I'm on social, it's more intentional and productive, rather than mindless and draining. Reading during my downtime, especially during work commutes, has drastically improved my mood and mindset day in and day out.” Reading gives us a break from immersing ourselves in the lives of others and helps us improve ourselves through learning new skills and hearing inspiring stories. Not only does this boost our self-confidence, but it relieves stress and makes our lives more peaceful, knowing we spent time wisely rather than on other people.
Reading can drastically improve our quality of sleep The quality of our sleep is one of the most important factors when it comes to the quality of our days. It affects how we interact with others, how we spend our time and how we react to situations. To live a more peaceful life, sleep has to be a priority. Unfortunately, the number one enemy of sleep has infiltrated our homes - screens! 8
minutes before your intended hour of retiring. Even the use of ‘paper white’ devices before bed has been shown to disturb sleep”. Removing screens an hour before bed is an even more difficult task when we have nothing to replace it with. Reading is an excellent substitute.
People who use screens in the hours before have been shown to have poorer sleep and feel sleepier the next day. Therefore, it is best to avoid using technology such as your smartphone, iPad, TV and laptop at least 45
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Reading gives us skills to improve other aspects of our lives Not only does reading provide a relief from the stresses of social media and aid a good night’s sleep, it can also bring calm and control to other areas of our life. Reading develops our ability to focus for extended lengths of time. The skill of concentration can help us achieve everything we want to in a day and ensure we feel in control at all times.
Joanna Hulin has experienced the benefits of learning from others through reading. “I have a short attention span for trashy fiction and struggle to make time for books that don't capture my imagination or engage my thirst for knowledge or insight. I tend to now deliberately reach for book that teach me something new, offer up a new perspective on life or tell a real person’s story. Finding time for those quiet reflective moments with books of this kind is so important to me and I know the power one sentence, in one book can be in completely changing my perception or how I view the world or myself.” What actionable steps can you take to make reading a priority in your life?
Stephanie Huston felt the effects of increased productivity due to her reading challenge. “[There have been] so many positive effects! I feel like a new person - more inspired, knowledgeable, and productive. Not only am I finishing one book a week, but I have more ideas and it inspires me to write more”.
Both Hilda Burke and Stephanie Huston would advise tracking your time to see where reading could fit in. “Keep a conscious eye on what you're doing every hour of every day,” says Huston. “Being conscious and intentional is key to making the most out of your time. I bet you'd be surprised by how you actually spend most of your downtime, and be able to take a lot more advantage of that time - whether it's on a commute, waiting for your girlfriend that's always late, or arriving earlier to pick your kids up to get 15 minutes of reading time to yourself”.
The act of reading in itself can give huge rewards but the words we read can also have a huge impact on how we live our lives. 10
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Finding Joy in Reading: Why I Take the 50 Book Pledge
cemented in me by the time we finished the series. I was hooked. I’ve always loved books. At the age of 4, I was inexplicably drawn to the light-blue boxed set on
Years later, when I reached university studying
the top shelf in our basement that was the Little
to become a teacher, my love of reading made
House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I
English an obvious choice for a major. I found
convinced my mom to read them to me. At first she
that reading for pure enjoyment was,
tried to explain that I wouldn’t like the books
unfortunately, difficult during that season of
because there were no pictures and she was right, I
my life though. I loved many of the novels and
didn’t like them. I loved them!
short stories I read for my classes, but having a book assigned is never the same as picking one
I was happily transported back to the late 19th
to read on your own. The perpetual stress of a
century and listened intently, completely enthralled
full course load & looming deadlines removed
by Laura’s stories of growing up in the woods in
the joy I had once felt when reading for fun.
Wisconsin. As the series progressed, I was enamoured by her adventures in the covered wagon
Having graduated and started my career, I
with Pa, Ma and Mary, inspired by her experience
began taking the 50 Book Pledge in 2015 and I
teaching in a one room schoolhouse and of course,
have completed it each year since. It has
fascinated by her courtship with the dashing
consistently been a wonderful experience that
Almanzo Wilder. A deep, abiding appreciation for
has enabled me to reclaim my love of reading
the power of storytelling, literature and reading was
for sheer pleasure. 13
When I was working full time, that meant
purposefully make time for something that
waking up early, making a cup of steaming hot
fills me with that same joy I felt as a 4 year
coffee and spending a blissful hour in the pages
old. I think we could all use more of that.
of a book, before the craziness of a teaching day began. Now that I have a baby and I’m on maternity leave, it means setting aside nap time - not to wash dishes or do laundry - but to sit down and do something that is good for me; to recentre, to relax and to learn something new. Taking the pledge means making a powerful promise to myself to slow down and
Fancy joining in with the 50 book pledge? I’d love for you to join me! Visit
www.bookplege.ca for more information or to sign-up.
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Whenever we think about living simply, we have a tendency to give attention to things we can easily see. We think about decluttering and donating. We celebrate clear countertops, uncluttered shelves, and tidy desks. While all those things are essential and worth celebrating, that’s just the start of simplicity. The most rewarding aspects of simple living aren’t always visible, and can appear just a little vague until experienced. Once evident though, they can be truly life-changing.
7 invisible yet wonderful effects of simplicity and simple living: 1. Under-reacting A simpler life permits us to look more closely at our response. When things are too active and complicated, we get lost in a reactionary lifestyle. We say things we don’t mean and blow things completely out of proportion. Whenever we have time and energy to contemplate before responding, we can answer properly from a thoughtful place, rather than a fight or flight mentality.
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2. Self-care When we reduce commitments and obligations, and eliminate common stressors like credit card debt, unfulfilled careers, and hurtful relationships, we’ve allowed ourselves to take better attention of our core. We can find the time to take a nap or for writing and being creative, space for meditation, or perhaps a straightforward practice of gratitude. 3. Better health Even without changing our diet or working out, simplicity can lower blood pressure and decrease the threat of disease. Stress can result in migraines, colds and even auto-immune conditions. If you’re fed up of feeling unwell and fatigued, simplify your life to aid your very best health. 4. More meaningful relationships It’s hard to get the best out of any relationship when we are constantly connected to our computers and phones. Our imaginations are full enough, and when we add tiers of digital information, it’s easy to reduce focus during a simple chat. Unplugging gives us a quiet platform, allowing us to pay attention and fully engage.
space, to growth in our bank account, we are more hopeful and open to new experiences and possibilities. A simple life is a hopeful life. 6. Increased freedom Whenever we aren’t tied to technology, engaged in overreacting or feeling unfulfilled and tired, we feel the joys of freedom. We make smarter decisions, and enjoy lives we have wished for. Instead of aiming to live up to a typical path that someone else set for us, we are free to be exactly who we are. That’s freedom. 7. Benevolence When we free up resources, need less to be happy, and also have the time to think about what we care about the most, we are simply more loving, caring and giving.
These unseen benefits become completely tangible, and they are the secret behind being more with less. Only a taste of the inner workings of a simpler life inspires us to go after even more simplicity. We naturally want less of the meaningless products and even more of what really matters.
5. Hope After experiencing some of the advantages of simplicity, from enjoying a superior liveable
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6 tips for adding more light to your home: 1. Remove any net curtains from windows. If you are very overlooked, use window dressings that have minimal decoration or embellishment and keep them clean - net curtains get dirty very quickly without being noticed. 2. Make sure curtains can be drawn all the way to the edge of the window. 3. Remove all clutter from window sills and from in front of windows. If you want to add decoration to the sill, use ornaments that will reflect light. 4. Decorate in whites and neutrals - that includes flooring. 5. Use mirrors to reflect light and use them everywhere - stand them on the floor and on shelves as well as on walls. Also use them in your garden, angled so that they reflect light into the house. 6. Use daylight bulbs in the rooms that you spend most of your day in.
Do you suffer with SAD? It can be very difficult to manage the symptoms. As the evenings are beginning to draw in and the days are getting more gloomy, finding ways to manage SAD becomes an important issue.
It's all to do with LIGHT. We know that getting out into the sunlight is helpful, however overcast and cold the day might be. So how about getting the maximum amount of light into your home, providing a continuous top up of light to compliment your daily walk? How do you get more light into your home without carrying out expensive building work? How do you make the windows that you already have in your home appear bigger and provide more of an impact?
Jennifer Powis is the Lifestyle Editor at Living Quietly Magazine and she also runs her own business, providing virtual assistant services to small business owners. We thought we’d have a chat with her to see how she tries to live quietly while balancing various work projects.
I enjoy getting up early and having a healthy breakfast, to set me up for the day ahead. There’s nothing quite like a good night’s sleep and a healthy breakfast to get each day off to a good start.
Running my own business was always something I wanted to achieve. Having the ability to work from home, take charge of my own hours and be my own boss was very appealing. It can be a leap of faith to decide to take the plunge, but it’s worked wonders for my happiness and wellbeing and that’s the most important thing.
It can be difficult, particularly in the beginning when you’re setting up a new business, to find a good work-life balance. For me, being able to find that balance is very important. After feeling burnt out from previous jobs, where the expectation has been to work long hours, continuously take on more and more work and follow strict rules, being able to be in charge of my workload has been extremely freeing.
Putting boundaries in place have been the key to bringing a quiet living ethos to my life. I make clients aware that I don’t work weekends and that I only commit to working between the hours of 9:00 and 17:00 during the week - this ensures that I don’t get contacted outside of those hours and if I do, they don’t expect me to reply until the next day. Only working remotely means that I don’t have to commute to work and I can work wherever I like home is always my choice, as it’s the most peaceful place.
Spending time with family is one of my favourite things. Pottering around the garden and relaxing with a good book are the best ways to spend a warm summer’s day. When it’s chilly outside, going for walks in the fresh air and staying cosy inside with a glass of red wine is perfect! 18
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Contact Rosie via our website www.livingquietlymagazine.com
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Living quietly is not about becoming a hermit and cutting yourself off from everything. It is about being more connected to your life. It is about taking responsibility for yourself in a very conscious way. It is about learning a completely different thought process. If you feel that the noise is getting too loud, please come and speak to me.
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Age has taught me that no matter how old you are you never stop learning.....each person/experience teaches you something about yourself...reflecting to you as a human who your ego is and why...also who you 'really' are as a soul/higher self. The Demon on one shoulder and the Angel on the other, so to speak. We are both dark and light within this human existence. It's taught me that you create your own reality from a certain age...but based on experiences as a child when you were not responsible for your life and things weren't your choice. Ironic right!! Mostly though I have learnt, the inner child needs balancing, healing and nurturing to be able to move forward positively, mentally and physically as a healthy adult. How long this takes (again) is up to you. I think we spend our adult lifetime unraveling such a small but very significant, impressionable few years of childhood.
Always be open to new things. , in between all the old hat mundane everyday crap. I learned to ski at 50. I learned to meditate at 58. I learned to appreciate heavy metal music at 59 (ironically after the meditation course). Theunis Botha Auckland NZ
Drama is only as big as you make it. I have truly learnt that life is a huge mirror...and it is all about you, as self centered as it sounds. I think if we actually walked around with physical mirror's, we would change and grow a lot quicker if we could see ourselves as others do. So to sum up...so far, age has revealed that life is full of irony and is all about learning, healing from childhood wounds, reflection and perception. Finding balance is the key. Can be heavy going in an unbalanced world. Our energy is precious as an older person...use it wisely. Don't sweat the small stuff! Kerry Holistic Therapist
To back myself from the start - instead of thinking (for some unknown reason) that others can do it better. Louise Cameron
To never be afraid of failure. Better to have tried and failed than never to try. Most of the time things will work out and turn out for the best, but if it doesn't.... so what, dust yourself down and try something else. Surely it’s better to live and fail every now and then, as opposed to have died never trying! Darren Cox 21
Each day is a blank page and the story continues to unfold, sometimes a comedy, sometimes a farce, sometimes a tear jerker, but always a gift.
Kelly Dean
Gill Hallybone You become more like your parents than you hoped for. Robert Bligdon The Editor’s very lucky son!
Everything changes. Mark James Milbourn
To appreciate my youth.
That it's absolutely OK to go to the shops for milk without your makeup on. Donna Mcghie
Learn from every situation and understand that some friends are transient there maybe a mutually beneficial reason to learn from each other. Laura Eldridge
Growing older has make me realise that I don’t need to care so much about what people think of me.
Age has taught me that I have learned. David Chaloner
Toni Louise Rowe
Never take anything for granted - you can lose it all in the blink of an eye. Be patient, with myself and other people. Elizabeth B. LaJuniper
Jason Southampton
To grow up, but never totally grow up. Sean Smith
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You have probably heard a lot about self care, well-being and ‘looking after you’ recently. The more you hear about it, the more it can seem like a trend that will be put aside soon for the next popular hashtag. But self care is a buzzword with a difference. It actually IS important. And as people start to speak out more about mental health and body care, the realisation of this importance is coming through. In modern society, and with the pressures of social media, there is a demand to do more and be more. But as research increasingly suggests, this can have a negative effect on our health. The reason the self care movement is important is it takes some of this pressure off. It encourages taking time to yourself and looking after your body and mind. It legitimises, sometimes, being a little bit ‘selfish’. This can help both mental and physical health. Self care can mean different things to different people. It can be eating well, looking well or living well. So whether you recharge by watching the latest TV drama with a pot of ice-cream, spend time getting your make-up how you like it before you go out, or set aside time to go for a run every day, you need to make sure you do something everyday that looks after your health. Even if this means spending more time getting ready in the morning so that you feel more self confident. There are moments in everyone's life when it is harder to look after yourself. Times around change, whether it is births, deaths, new jobs or new homes. These times are when self care is even more important but perhaps harder to concentrate on. Self care and keeping something for you in your day or week can help you recharge and can help normalise a situation. Think about what makes you feel better and more ready to take on the day. And do it, even if you can’t manage every day, set aside time once a week for a little self care. Written by Elizabeth Barker - Editor and Owner at www.homeofjuniper.co.uk 24
Arthur didn’t enjoy supermarket shopping, but he had no choice now that his wife Minnie could no longer do it on her own. In fact, neither could he. Provided they each remembered to take their walking sticks, together they could just about manage it.
“Look at those new spring lamb chops, don’t they look nice and plump?”
“What a team!” Arthur used to say, always one to put a positive spin on life. A team for over sixty years now.
“How about a spot of salad for lunch tomorrow? Nice and summery with a bit of cheese or maybe a little quiche Lorraine.”
They’d progress around the supermarket together, Arthur with a traditional wooden walking stick in his right hand, Minnie holding in her left a lighter aluminium one. With their free hands, they’d push the trolley between them. Minnie selected the goods and Arthur, whose grip was stronger, took her chosen items from the shelf and placed them in the trolley.
“Ooh, no, put that cucumber back, Arthur. You know what it does to you.”
Although the local supermarket was relatively small, their weekly circuit took them an hour. Their slow walking pace was only part of the problem. The other challenge was the amount of choice. Almost every purchase triggered a discussion. “Strawberries or raspberries for tea tonight, dear?” “Oh, strawberries for me, dear. Those raspberry seeds get under my plate.”
“A bit too chewy, don’t you think, Arthur? Let’s have some minced lamb for a lovely shepherd’s pie instead. Same flavour, less chewing.”
By the time they arrived at the checkout after all their deliberations, they would barely have covered the bottom of the trolley with the amount of food they needed to satisfy their small appetites. Each week, as Arthur transferred the goods from the checkout counter to their wheeled shopping basket, he tutted to himself at the nature of the food that lay before him. So much soft chewy readily-digestible pap, the only kind of food that would pass muster with their worn-out digestive systems and unreliable false teeth. They might as well buy baby food. Poor old souls, he’d think. This is the autumn of our lives. Then, patiently watching his wife as she fumbled for the right money in her ancient Harris Tweed purse, he’d glimpse the aged diamanté tortoiseshell butterfly clip pinning back her wispy cotton-white hair. It was the first gift he’d given her, all those years ago when they were courting. 25
Just for a moment, the supermarket checkout would disappear. Instead he was back in the old orchard by the stream, in his youth when it was never any season but summer. Lying beside him was Minnie, the sunshine sparkling on the butterfly clip in her thick dark curls, as they held hands and crunched on scrumped red apples. As Minnie accepted the till receipt from the cashier, he’d catch her eye and give her a cheeky wink, which made her blush. Transaction completed, they’d pull their heavy wheeled basket behind them down to the supermarket café. Over a restorative cup of tea, they’d sit together, saying little, perfectly content.
"The Butterfly Clip" is from "Marry in Haste 15 short stories of dating, love & marriage", available in paperback (ISBN 978-1-911223-01-6) and ebook.
Debbie Young writes warm, witty, feel-good
contemporary fiction inspired by life in the English Cotswold village where she has lived for nearly thirty years. Her Sophie Sayers Village Mystery series begins with the bestselling "Best Murder in Show" and, when complete, will run the course of a calendar year in the life of a classic English Cotswold village. The seasonal read for October is the second in the series, "Trick or Murder?", set around Halloween and Guy Fawkes' Night. The fifth in the series, "Springtime for Murder", will launch in November 2018. She is currently writing the first in a new mystery series, "Staffroom at St Bride's", set in the staffroom of an English girls' boarding school. She also writes short stories, which she has performed at various events including the Cheltenham Literature Festival. She is co-judge of the Stroud Short Stories spoken word event in Gloucestershire, runs the Hawkesbury Upton Literature Festival, is a regular panellist with BBC Radio Gloucestershire's Book Club slot, and a long-standing columnist for the award-winning Tetbury Advertiser. For more information about her books and her writing life, visit her website: www.authordebbieyoung.com. You'll find her on Twitter as @DebbieYoungBN.
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I spent the first 10 years of my time in London in Marylebone. So easy to get around with brilliant shops and places to eat. Great cinemas, galleries and beautiful parks what more could a girl want? A baby. So for six years we tried and it wasn’t happening. My ever present optimism meant I was always thinking this was the month. All the distractions of London prevented me from looking down at my biological watch which was ticking loudly. We dropped a ton of money going to see a fertility specialist in Harley Street and the main message they had was ‘avoid stress’. I had then then admit how stressful my life in London was. Even though I loved it I was having panic attacks on the tubes and my relationship was strained as Pete was stressed to the max by his job which he hated but still seemed committed to working often until 9pm. I struggled to see how we would fit a baby into this mix.
One day Pete came home from a weekend stone sculpture course completely lit up and happier than I’d seen him in ages. The teacher had said what a natural talent he had and he could be a stonemason! There was a course in Dorset which might let him enrol. At that point he was working IT so it was a bit of a leap. The baby we so longed for still hadn’t arrived and we had started plans for IVF. I had some cash having sold my house in Melbourne so instead of doing the sensible thing, reinvesting in a London flat, finding work first then planning a move to the South West, I said “Ok let’s go” and by the Monday I had found somewhere to live , a little house in the happening town of Bridport. Pete enrolled into the Stonemasons course and we immediately felt at home in this beautiful town by the sea. 28
It had everything. Some great coffee shops, cinema, theatre, galleries and amazing countryside. But most of all a friendly and creative community with whom I felt I could find friends.
So we had left London and I can honestly say I never looked back. I felt a new freedom in this market town free of traffic and noise. Living by the sea has a special charm and I find I'm only ever a stroll on the beach away from finding my calm again. I love going back to London to visit but I can literally feel the adrenalin increase when I step off the train at Waterloo. The traffic, the people, the noise it is exciting but I find I’m more at home now in the green hills of Dorset by the coast with the baby I always longed for now an 8 year old boy who just asked me “can we live at LEGOLAND mum?”
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AVOCADO Do you believe that avocados make you put on weight due to their high fat content? Well, think again, as those fats are super healthy. In reality, adding one avocado a day into your daily intake actually reduces cholesterol levels and supports the skin renewal. That’s not all avocados provide your body with vitamin C, oleic acid, omega-9 fatty acid, potassium, antioxidants and folic acid. Like you need another reason to love them! Say hello to soft, supple, hydrated and radiant skin.
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BERRIES
CARROTS A fine vegetable which is helpful in protecting the eyes due to it’s beta-carotene, vitamin A, protecting the skin from photo-aging or premature wrinkling and UV rays. Just eat them raw or juiced but avoid overcooking carrots, as this reduces the amount of essential nutrients and vitamins.
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DARK CHOCOLATE
OLIVE OIL Not just recommended for a healthy diet, olive oil is also perfect for your skincare. A rich source of alpha-linolenic acid, which keeps your skin hydrated and toned, preventing early aging. Apply a few drops of olive oil around your eyes at bedtime for beautiful skin and don’t forget to add it to your salads, soups, bakes and stir-fries.
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TOMATOES Filled with nutrients, tomatoes are a great source of vitamin A, vitamin C and folic acid. The lycopene contained in tomatoes is a strong antioxidant which protects the skin against UV radiation and promotes skin elasticity.
OILY FISH These types of fish, including salmon, tuna, anchovies, and turbot all contain Omega 3 fatty acids which help cell regeneration and keep cholesterol low. They are ideal for skincare as they reverse and prevent the age-related oxidative damage.
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Autumn Recipe: Roasted Sweet Potato & Carrot Soup
Chef Saumalaya from The Protein Bistro shares with us this soup recipe that’s perfect for the colder months.
Ingredients
Method
500g potatoes peeled and cut into chunks
Roast the sweet potato and carrot in the oven, sauté some onion and garlic in a pan
300g carrots, peeled and cut into chunks 3 tbsp olive oil 2 onions, finely chopped
Using the hand blender, make a paste of the vegetables, add 2 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil.
2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 cup vegetable stock 100 ml crème fraiche , plus extra to serve
Add some cream and seasoning. Add one cup of vegetable stock and heat slowly Serve with a swirl of cream on top.
Bon Appétit! 36
Nutritionist, Andy Norman says It’s vital to feed your body with foods that will help it to look and feel its best. Eating well can take care of most of your health and beauty concerns.
What you eat impacts how you look and feel. If you eat well, it will help to support your weight, skin, immune system, provide you with glossy hair and strengthen flimsy nails. A few building blocks that help to create healthy skin and hair include minerals, nutrients, antioxidants and healthy fatty acids:
1. Load up on watermelons as they’re filled with lycopene. Lycopene naturally helps to protect from UV damage, which can act as your daily dose of sunscreen.
2. Pomegranates - the seeds of this wonder fruit are bursting with antioxidants, like vitamin C, which helps keep fine lines, wrinkles and dryness at bay. It also increases collagen production, gifting skin a firmer look and decreases inflammation caused by UV damage.
3. Kale, the wonder leaf, is loaded with nutrients known as vitamin K which help to maintain healthy eyes and are packed with iron. To bid goodbye to pale skin, eat kale cooked rather than raw.
4. Walnuts contain Omega-3 fatty acids, for healthy-shiny hydrated hair, and vitamin E which repairs damaged skin or hair. These wonderful nuts are packed with copper, which helps to retain your natural hair color and avoid premature greying of your crowning glory.
5. Green tea has a great reputation - this popular brew can gift us younger-looking skin. Loaded with polyphenols, powerful antioxidants that prevent the skin from UV damage, regular intake of these antioxidants help to provide your skin with a subtle glow.
6. An egg a day can keep your skin doctor away. Your fingernails are made of protein, so to prevent your nails from turning soft, add eggs into your daily diet for a regular dose of biotin, a B complex vitamin. 37
Walking The Cleveland Way; A Journey For The Quiet Traveller
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The Walk If you’re wise on the Cleveland Way then you park at Robin Hood’s Bay and walk from there to Whitby rather than the other way around. Baytown (as it’s locally known) is split into two distinct sections. First, there’s the lower, sea-touching old village with its jumbled, nautical streets of Escher stairways and gargoyles. If you unfolded the place like a straightened out paperclip it would take you a couple of minutes to walk it, but follow the curved, foot-worn paths through the unnamed alleyways of cat-strewn cottage fronts and you can spend hours breathing in not just the sea air but the local histories of sailing and smuggling. Up the lung-stretching slope in the newer part of Baytown you can sit by the stranded red and white Christmas bauble of the Shipwrecked Mariner’s Society buoy and look to the jutting land mass of Ravenscar to the south. You could be forgiven for expecting your only disturbance to be the chattering shoes of a horse on the cobbled stones from some 100 or 200 years before. This place is a monument to the quiet permanence of history, the fastest way to time travel without moving.
Few people pass you here and those who do nod pleasantly, concentrating on keeping the sure footing which a cliff-side demands. Like a teenager, the landscape here can be sullen and tempestuous; it demands your attention, forcing you to be aware of your step as well as the view. Its hunger encourages your focus in a way which demands quiet travelling. Looking at one’s phone seems like both an insult and an invitation to danger (plus there’s no signal anyway). It takes two and a half hours to reach the gothic walls of Whitby Abbey and then to descend the 199 steps back into the world. If you pace it right, however, and leave for home as the sun sets then there’s one more treat in store for you. Drive away across the moors and around you the sun dips and the sky sets itself on fire with pinks and reds that roll in hotter than a temper. It’s as good a time as any to consider that travel doesn’t have to be expensive or exotic. Choosing to enjoy a part of the world that’s remote from daily experience, one which asks you to enjoy it on its terms, not yours, can be a psychic salve.
Walk a little north and move from the silent suburban streets to the unpaved track of the Cleveland Way. Up here the only sound is the distant snap of the surf below, which is welcome as the voice of a friend in a time of need. A well-marked footpath starts you along seven miles of fields which abut the steep cliffs facing the North Sea. The path undulates up and down slopes and natural stairwells and you move through passages where wine-coloured buckthorn berries bully the hedgerows and white splashes of achillea attract drowsy bumble bees.
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Nestled in the beautiful English countryside lies Sculpture by the Lakes - a collection of wonderfully impressive large and small sculptures, a modern garden and garden cafe. Run by sculptor Simon and his wife Monique Gudgeon, Sculpture by the Lakes also plays host to a variety of events. Events that take place include the
Plein Air Painting Festival, Christmas parties, summer picnics, plus a whole host of additional seasonal events, yoga retreats, talks courses and workshops. With such a variety of experiences to partake in and things to see and do, a gift voucher for a visit to this sculpture park or a gift voucher for one of their courses would make an excellent choice of gift this Christmas for a loved one.
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"Sculpture must, above all, be a thing of beauty; it must uplift the spirit and enhance its surroundings". Sculpture by the Lakes
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Courses that run in the picturesque surroundings of the park Drawing from Nature with Laura Rich 25th January 2019 ÂŁ100 for the day including lunch, tea and coffee. This one day workshop will offer the perfect opportunity to soak up the beautiful surroundings of the sculpture park and produce carefully considered mindful drawings direct from source material gathered during the day. After a walk around the grounds to gather materials, Laura will take you through drawing exercises aimed at learning to see structure and free up your mark-making. Composition & Imagination in Landscape Oil Painting with Julie Ann Scott 1st & 2nd February 2019 ÂŁ200 for two days including lunch, tea and coffee. This two day oil painting course is aimed at intermediate and more experienced artists. It is designed to help reach into your imagination to create balanced but expressive landscape paintings.
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Creative Writing Workshop with Ruth Brandt 16th March 2019 ÂŁ100 for the day including lunch, tea and coffee. A course suitable for anyone seeking to expand and improve their prose or poetry. Portraiture. Painting the head in oils with Adele Wagstaff 22nd & 23rd March 2019 ÂŁ240 for two days including lunch, tea & coffee. This course will look at all aspects of making a well composed portrait, from setting up colour mixing and how tone and colour temperature can be used to describe, structures, shape and proportions of the head. We will make reference to portraiture throughout history as we study colour relationships, tonal values, composition and paint application. Details of all the courses can be found here: www.sculpturebythelakes.co.uk/artscrafts 46
More gift ideas Gift vouchers for visits to the sculpture park cost £10 per person. Hire some of the private areas for the day: a shepherd’s hut aptly named the River Keeper’s Hut on the river’s edge or The Island, a tiny island with a pavilion situated on Rainbow Lake. Adopt a tree within the Silver Birch Wood - help to protect the special trees and give a unique gift.
For more information about Sculpture by the Lakes, visit their website: www.sculpturebythelakes.co.uk/
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The way that you look isn’t as important as the way that you live. As you dress with clothing every morning, it’s also possible to dress with a smile! The way that you begin your day, can have an enormous influence on your feelings for the rest of the day. What you may fail to recognise, is that your mood is easily affected by the words that you are exposed to upon waking and rising. The minute you wake to a radio alarm, you hear words. Turn on the television a short time later, and you hear or see more words. A quick glance at your Facebook page and you are exposed to more. If a radio alarms wakes you with news of tragedy and woe, then you are unconsciously absorbing negativity. Add some breakfast television to the mix, full of more bad news. Throw in a social media feed polluted by friends who seem to wallow in self pity! How likely is it that you will groan instead of grin?
By Maria Hocking
You have the power within to ensure that this doesn’t happen to you. Just a few simple changes could positively impact your morning mood. Instead of radio news, why not choose to wake to a favourite upbeat song that makes you feel truly alive? If watching television whilst eating your breakfast is a must, watch a programme that makes you laugh. If you find your social media feeds polluted with toxic words, choose to block the posts of certain individuals. Ensure that the words that you wake to are wonderful, and enjoy the smiles and happy feelings that result!
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Just because you are Living Quietly ...
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… It doesn’t mean you have to Dress Quietly dress quietly
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Find Your Own Groove
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And Style It Out
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And make you feel confident ...
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The Statement Trench
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Oliver Bonas Purpose Jersey Dress
£65
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Joe Browns Vivacious Velvet Boots
£69.95 60
Pavers Handbag GBP 29.99
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www.fatface.com
Sainsbury’s Home Helsinki Bedroom Style www.sainsburys.co.uk
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We all have a favourite colour or flower that brings us joy just by looking at it, but we do not necessarily want to decorate every room in the house with that colour or pattern. A really easy way to bring joy into every room is to use the colour or flower as a signature in every room. A picture, a table runner, a scented candle or bouquet of silk flowers, will all add your personal signature to a room, without overwhelming it. Having your signature in a room will ground you to your space and be a focus point that calms you in times of anxiety. By consciously placing your mark, you create a space that is a sanctuary, whatever is going on around you.
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George Home at ASDA
Harmony Living Room
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I’ve fallen against the wardrobe. Briefly there’s an ominous sensation of movement as though the whole thing’s about to topple, but I can’t tell whether it’s real or only in my head. In the moment after Greg’s breathing quietens and footsteps announce his exit, all goes still. I straighten up, my tongue doing a careful inventory of my teeth as I stand. The mirror inside the wardrobe door has splintered in a starburst that shows me my wary expression. I wonder whether the previous seven years of bad marriage have paid in advance for the luck now due. My blood tastes metallic and I think of the wedding ring that dropped from my grasp as he struck. I imagine it rolling between the floorboards, lost to the shadows there. Best place for it, Dad would have said. I cling to that thought as I grab a few clothes and leave the rest where they hang.
“Let me just…” I keep saying as I try to imagine how the spaces will feel with only me and the resident spiders to occupy them. Cobwebs glint wherever the sun sneaks in, nestling where beams meet and holding the place together. “It’s perfectly safe,” the lettings agent says as we emerge. “I’ll take it,” I respond. My heart flutters as I utter the words, and I grin at the crooked house. Beyond the field lies another field, and then a flash of light that looks both silver and blue. “It’s the sea.” The agent smiles at my surprise. “You’ll be able to hear it when the breeze comes from that direction.” I move in four days later with a stack of cardboard boxes and three supermarket carrier bags. The sense of holing up, bedding in, suits me.
* The house sits on the edge of a field, its tiled roof sagging in camaraderie with windows and doors. Sunbeams bounce from the panes as though someone inside has turned on a light. The lettings agent allows me to spend half an hour exploring. 66
The first box contains a mirror wrapped in Dad’s old bobbled jumper. The jumper’s wool matches the view from the slanting windows – wheat-green with a dash of purple woven through where early harebells have taken hold. A few white threads have attached themselves to the yarn. I’m about to pick them off when I realize what they are and stiffen, finger and thumb frozen above the stray beard hairs. I lift the jumper to my face and breathe in deeply, trying to catch a hint of his scent, but it’s already faded. Nothing last forever. Those three words were among the last Dad spoke to me – his attempt to safeguard me against the encroaching loss. Nothing lasts forever. Not even this. I wonder if he’d murmured it to soothe himself on my wedding day, already distrustful of Greg and his moods. I shrug the jumper on over my denim dress and take a hammer from my tool kit. Dad trained me to be self-sufficient from a young age, but it’s a long time since I’ve tested the skills he taught me. A battered table sits in the middle of the kitchen floor. I drag it in front of the window and place a chair squarely so I can look outside while eating. After a moment, I take a nail and hammer it into the wall to the left of the pane. Hanging the mirror, I glimpse my reflection. The purple and green of the bruise pooled around my left eye is beginning to lighten. I know from experience that the split lip will take longer to heal. Farewell gifts from Greg when I tried to hand him my wedding ring. Nothing lasts forever. Not love, not loss. Even scars fade.
The mirror is slightly tarnished, set in an oak frame so smooth it feels like silk. Until yesterday, it was in Dad’s hallway, as it had been since I was tiny. It forms the backdrop to my earliest memory, of Dad holding me up and pulling faces at our reflections; encouraging me to do the same until our faces knotted with mirth. I hunt through drawers until I find a chopping board, a knife and a pan. I rinse two cupfuls of Arborio rice, wash celery and mint leaves, pop broad beans from their pods. I tip the pearled beans into bubbling water and chop an onion along with a lobe of garlic. Their frying fragrances the room so completely that I almost hear Dad standing behind me, telling one of his meandering stories or quoting snatches of Shakespeare’s plays between instructing me on the next thing to slice, the next ingredient to stir in. Dad called this dish summer in a bowl. It was his version of comfort food, simmered slowly with white wine and plenty of salted butter. I add fish stock ladle by ladleful. The rice is soon tender, the celery soft and sweet. The final ingredient is a hen’s egg, broken with care to rest in a hollow scooped into the risotto’s peak. Its yoke is radiant. I pour myself a glass of wine, and sit down. The chair’s position allows me to gaze out over fields to where the dipping sun has caught the evening tide. The mirror’s glass glows softly, reflecting me back to myself. My face twists with grief and a long, low moan escapes my throat. The sound drifts around me, mingling with the aroma of summer in a bowl, and I swallow hard. I raise my glass and drink a toast – to me, to Dad, and to the new beginning I used my small inheritance to buy. I linger over the first forkful, tasting each component – the smooth rice grains, the fresh green flavor of beans. The wind changes direction and I hear waves hushing the shore. I wonder whether the sea is going out or coming in.
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Judy Darley is a British fiction writer, poet and journalist whose work appears in magazines and anthologies and in her debut collection Remember Me To The Bees. Sky Light Rain, her second collection, will be published by Valley Press in autumn 2019. Judy has shared her stories on BBC radio, as well as in cafÊs, caves, an artist’s studio and a disused church. Judy blogs at http://www.skylightrain.com, and tweets @JudyDarley.
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Breathing Better Exercise: Sit in a chair or lie flat on the ground. Place one hand on your chest and then take a deep breath into your hand. Thereafter place this hand on your stomach and take a deep breath. The idea is to get your stomach to drive your hand up, keeping your chest still. You can do this for 6 to 8 breaths, followed by uniting the chest and belly breaths simultaneously. By doing this, you can benefit by increased oxygen supply in the body and opening up the lungs. Exercise: Inhale slowly but take a big breath. Hold onto it for a few seconds, now moving your top front teeth on your bottom lip, discharge a slow exhale. The exhale must take twice as long as your inhale. Just when you exhale, halt a moment, then repeat. By doing this your heart rate slows down, aids in stressed, anxiety-inducing situations. Expect a settled mind, better sleep and a relaxed you. Exercise:
Wellness Expert, Siva Samuel, highlights the essence of deep breathing. He says, “Breathing is something we all do all day long, every day, however few do it correctly. Proper breathing is a great way to relieve stress, lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and remain energised to carry on with your day. Proper deep breathing surges the supply of oxygen to your brain and fuels the nervous system, which stimulates calmness. Breathing exercises help you feel connected to your body, steer away worries and quiet your mind. Hence, breathe well, after all it’s the secret of life! Try this deskercise to improve your health. This is an ideal exercise to practice at the desk, during your break time on a working day. Sit restfully in your chair, keep your hands on your thighs and keep your spine tall with of course the spine slightly away from your chair. Inhale deep and slow through the nose and raise the shoulders to the ears. Exhale and let the shoulders go. Do this 5-10 times and then revolve the shoulders slowly in a backward direction. See how you sit at your desk, as a good posture can help you breathe easier. This would also help release tension in the respiratory muscles, shoulders and upper back”. Happy breathing!
Lie flat on the floor and do the above two combined exercises mentioned above. Then shut your eyes and with every exhale concentrate on calming a part of your body, begin with your feet and work your way up to the top. This helps release tension, stress related migraines, back pain, and chronic fatigue.
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Forgiveness does not make what happened ok. It is the absolute refusal to hold resentment towards someone (or something) for what they did or didn’t do - for your own sake and, frankly, for the world’s sake. We need to be awake to even admit our resentments, let alone let them go. Writing Scarlett Lewis lost her five-year-old son, Jesse, at the Sandy Hook massacre by Adam Lanza in 2012. Later she said, “Afterwards I felt I was attached, like an umbilical cord, to the shooter. All my personal power drained out of me in the form of anger and through this cord into the shooter. I was dragging him around with me everywhere. For me, forgiveness was like a big set of scissors that I used to cut this cord that attached me to the thing that was hurting me.” ‘Forgiveness’ is a word that gets bandied around in self-help circles with little understanding of what it means, let alone how to actually forgive. We also confuse forgiving with condoning whatever has happened to us, which is enough for it never to leave the starting gates.
about ‘how to forgive in 700 words’ is a tall order if I am to add something applicable and healing to the concept. No steps I suggest will work if we haven’t grasped the power of resentment, which is ill will held over time. Nothing slams the heart more tightly shut than resentment. Nothing asserts or defends its power more obdurately than resentment. In my view, it is the most insidious and destructive force on the planet. But oh, how we glorify and collude in it. We base entire friendships on it. We jump on its bandwagon. We seek revenge for wrongs. We cry ‘foul’. We build walls. We go to war. Nothing makes us ‘feel’ more right, more vindicated, more elevated to the moral 71
high ground or more martyred to a cause than
The price is so very high. Resentment costs us
resentment. It permits us to wallow in self-pity
energy, health, vitality and emotional
and indulge in revenge. It anaesthetises our
freedom. It costs us connection, love,
pain (which anyone
intimacy, empathy and compassion. It stifles
or anything but us is to blame for). In the
our creativity and stunts our productivity.
absence of true power, true love and true self-regard, resentment is what we settle for in
It denies us access to our full potential and
minute and massive ways. It is as addictive to
bars the gates to our destiny. It prevents us
the psyche as heroin is to the body, and as
from feeling, being and becoming. It strangles
poisonous to the soul. And it is as invisible and
self-expression, muffling our ability to say
inflammable as methane.
what we want, care about and need. It spits on grief, which is the one emotional force that
You see, resentment is insidious and elusive,
can bring resentment to its knees. Resentment
the snake in the grass. This is largely because it
sacrifices our self-esteem to self-justification
is loaded with these apparent benefits. It gets in
and self-righteousness. It turns our values into
without us noticing. It binds itself to the petty
empty shells washed up on abandoned
as well as the significant: to the loo seat left up,
beaches. It bows our spirits and banishes
the lid not put back on the toothpaste, my
peace. It is the “umbilical cord” that attaches
husband’s back-seat driving.
us to who or what we resent.
Seriously.
“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. The moment we acknowledge our resentment is the moment we unlock the cage we have been unwittingly living in. And the moment we realise that the costs outweigh the benefits is the moment we fly free. 72
But the object of our resentment does not suffer for it. Not. One. Jot. Only the person walking around with it pays the price. As the Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. When we open our eyes and hearts to the cost of holding resentment, forgiveness becomes the hand reaching down to pull us out of the quicksand. We will grab it like Jesse’s mother. We will choose to lay it down like a heavy burden we can no longer bear to carry. Resentment is what we need to let go of in order to move forwards. This is forgiveness. It is not a feeling or a decision or even a prayer. It is in an act of pure will.
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