BodyMind Living Magazine :: Grief, Redefined :: December 2020 by BodyMind Living

BODYMIND ©

I S S U E N o 3 : : Redef ining G R I E F : : D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0

The self help revolution... Redeﬁned.

WELCOME..........................................3 SEASONS OF CHANGE...................4 MELISSA KELLEY

SANTA CLAUS ISN’T REAL, I WILL DIE, AND GRIEF IS OK.....10 MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BECOME A BODYMIND COACH..................15 I DON’T NEED A CASSEROLE, I NEED A WITNESS........................16 HEIDI METRO

INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER......22 CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

BODYMIND INVITATION.............29 GRIEF DOESN’T CHANGE YOU, IT REVEALS YOU............................30 FIDEL FORDE

AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT HEIDI METRO.....................................37 SHATTERED.....................................38 LAURA WIECK

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACH DIRECTORY......................48 2 AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY........50 NAVIGATING.............. BACK COVER

contents 2

Hello amazing one!

Come on inside...

This month we are re-defining grief. We are intentionally releasing this issue December 2020, because, let’s be honest, it’s been a year. I know there has been a lot of loss of life, relationships, jobs, identity, and with that loss comes grief. Grief has very much been a part of my journey for decades, and grief is such an interesting energy. I think a lot of times in our culture we are put into these rules about what grieving is supposed to look like. What might be possible if you re-define grief in your life? Instead of fighting or compartmentalizing the energy of grief, what might be possible if you were able to dance with the energy of grief? This has been a really powerful experience to explore for myself and our BodyMind Ambassadors this month. Please know the articles this month are truly us — experiencing and processing and looking at these moments in our lives. And how we’ve taken these experiences to re-define grief for ourselves. This isn’t an ending, or an acknowledgment of answers, this is a journey, a conversation, this is meant to be an exploration. As you read through these powerful and moving stories, my hope is that you can start to look at how grief shows up in your life and how that energy might be calling you, awakening you or inviting you to go deeper, to connect and to love. I invite you to find a quiet space, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s connect and explore together. Remember, you are the gift. You are always the gift. And we are in this together. With love, Laura

Melissa Kelley :: SEASONS OF CHANGE

An infinite loop of creation, completion and the space between. We move along collecting moments, experiences and memories that mark the passage of time. Innately, we seem to understand that life is fluid not static, and that change in its many forms is part of this journey. We accept the progression of shifting seasons. We understand that spring will blossom into summer. With due diligence, devotion and commitment we nurture the seeds we have planted and trust that summer will lead us into autumn. Autumn ushers us into winter, where the fruits of our labor offer us sustenance and nourishment through the dark season until spring arrives again.

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ife is a series of beginnings and endings.

Creation. Germination. Birth. Growth. Culmination. Completion. Death. Decomposition. Regeneration. Rebirth.

Seasons, cycles, phases. The universal rhythm of evolution, revolution and constant change. How do we relate to ourselves within these cycles, when this outer unfolding becomes our inner experience? How do we allow ourselves to feel our way through seasons of change? Not what do we THINK, but instead, how do we FEEL? Change, in any capacity, means that we will find ourselves face to face with uncertainty. Uncertainty means quite simply, “I don’t know.” Sit with that for a moment. Who are you when you “don’t know”? When you don’t know what to expect. You don’t know what comes next. You don’t know where the road ahead will lead you.

Melissa Kelley :: SEASONS OF CHANGE

These are not questions that we find our way through quickly. They require their own season of introspection and contemplation to process. And the answers must come from within. How do we get there? We must allow ourselves to feel. In the feeling space there will be an emotion that becomes your doorway.

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Where do you stand when your sense of certainty dissolves? When your stability is disrupted and your reality is interrupted?

For me, one of those doorways is grief.

I have come to recognize that at every major transformational juncture in my life, grief, in some form, awaits. Sometimes it’s apparent. I know it immediately. And other times it feels more subtle. Like an undercurrent

Over the years, I’ve learned to accept grief as a companion to help me navigate the unfamiliar. It has led me to my edges and invited me fully into presence. It has met me in my deepest resistance to change and helped me walk towards my fears.

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pulsing just beneath the surface of my awareness. Whichever shape grief assumes, I have learned to engage it as an interior emotional compass. If I allow it and go willingly, grief will guide me deeper into myself.

I have felt grief rise up, a dense emotional wave, and pull me under in order to lift me up. And then it buoys me. Steadies me and supports me. Holds me while I find my feet, and when I’m ready, my grief encourages me to bravely feel my way forward into a new season. I believe that grief opens up the space to explore our

Melissa Kelley :: SEASONS OF CHANGE longing. Longing for what was and now isn’t. For what wasn’t and what will never be. It invites us to move through and release the energy of old wounds and heal the scars of our woundedness. To shed what no longer serves and create space for something new. When grief comes to call, it helps us see that accepting change and moving through it is a necessary experience of living. That life is transitory. To be alive means to participate in patterns of creation and completion. Cultivating a fluid relationship with grief can support us all in learning how to meet life with less resistance and more of an open heart.

Melissa Kelley is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth & transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. Sacredshe.life 8

Heidi Metro :: I DON’T NEED A CASSEROLE! I NEED A WITNESS!

t was October of 2008. I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t go back. The pain wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t catch my breath. I railed against it. Begged to be told it was almost over. Cried out in fear. I felt out of control. I was taken over by a force that I had never met. My body was not my own. The whole world was wrong. I knew my life would never be the same. There was nothing else to do but surrender. I remember saying, “God got this wrong.” I was broken. Alone. Nobody could do this for me. And then he was here. Earthside. My first son. My Noah.

My life was

altered forever. And there was grief waiting for me.

After the birth of my first son, I remember telling my sister that there needed to be a statute of limitations before I shared what happened during labor. I remember feeling like I was not prepared for what happened. That the support network in place for watershed events in life felt severely lacking. Yes I took the classes and read the books and did my homework, but transformation has to be felt, not researched. Motherhood is a sacred dimension that has changed how I interact with the world. I’ve always been a sensitive person, meaning I feel things very deeply. I’m incredibly aware of how people feel. I walk into a room and feel it before I see it. After Noah was born, my sensitivity increased 100-fold. I was even more tender to the vibration of the world. I looked at each and every person on the planet as a miracle. I had Noah (and my other two kiddos) at home and I felt so protective of our space. I didn’t want visitors. I wanted the curtains to remain closed. I wanted the temple that had been created by his birth to remain. I wanted to breathe him in and keep him close so the world wouldn’t spoil the magic. I had a hard time communicating my needs because the pace of the world demanded that I “bounce back.” To let other people in. To resume life as though nothing had happened. The world was not sweet enough for him. Healthy enough for him. Kind enough for him. The pure 11

Heidi Metro :: I DON’T NEED A CASSEROLE! I NEED A WITNESS! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

love that coursed through his body didn’t match what the world had to offer and I was overcome with grief. How would I ever let him out into the world? How could I make “them” understand? How was I going to ever leave him? What was I thinking by bringing pure love into an environment that was not worthy of him? I was also in a tremendous amount of physical pain. I was completely different. My body was no longer for me. This new creature demanded every ounce that I had. Even during pregnancy, my body still felt like my own. I was whole. Now my body was split in half. There was pain. And loss. And joy like I had never felt. Explaining how I felt required too much. I was only able to just FEEL. I had no idea how I would ever return to “normal” let alone be a successful business owner. Oh, and you want me to “wife” too. Dear God. Too much. The wide range of emotions after Noah was born was incredibly disorienting for me. I watched other moms with envy. They seemed to take to motherhood effortlessly. I felt clumsy. Messy. 12 Raw. Interrupted.

Birth is a course-changer. As is death. It was February 2012. I was in the hospital with my Grandma Lucy. She had just had a stroke. Her room was quiet. Filled with the buzz of fear from my family and

My life was

altered forever. And there was grief waiting for me. Grief is like a kaleidoscope that changes how you look at life. The light is fractured. Colorful. Surreal. The days and weeks after Lucy died were intense. And severely dissatisfying. Because my grandmother had “had a good long life” I didn’t feel like I could grieve her too loudly because this was how it was “supposed to go.” That’s another article. But it seems that there are varying degrees of what’s allowed in our culture. I wanted to scream and wail and make someone understand. I wanted to be heard. I wanted my

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the scent of lavender from the oils I brought with me. She was dying. Her 92-year old body was shutting down. I knew my life would never be the same. There was nothing left to do but surrender. She was there when I was born. And now it was my turn to be there as she passed. She was my dearest friend. My confidant. The one who KNEW me and LOVED me as me. I massaged her feet. Told her she was so free. Reassured her that we were okay. Wished her love and luck as she left her earthly body. I witnessed her transition to the mystery. It was one of the most joyful experiences of my life. And I was broken.

Heidi Metro :: I DON’T NEED A CASSEROLE! I NEED A WITNESS!

I wanted someone to sit with me in the reverence of the beauty in which we participate in momentarily. Please don’t require me to “go back to normal.” Please allow me to get to know myself in a new way. Please honor my humanity and my spirit by bearing witness to my transformation. Patiently. Uncomfortably. It was a familiar experience. So much like Noah’s birth. Noah and Lucy’s lives briefly intersected in time and space. Spending time with them both was like being wrapped up in the best of the best of love. She LOVED him. She called him “winsome” and was thoroughly bemused by him. Oh. I just loved it. Love it still.

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loss to be witnessed. I remember thinking: “I don’t need a casserole. I need a witness!” I wanted someone to acknowledge that it was different. That I was different. That our family was never going to be the same. We were fractured.

His birth and her death were momentary passages of time that have altered the rest of my moments.The vibration of grief (and joy) that I still feel is like a colorful piece of silk that is woven into the daily minutiae of my life. At times it gets tugged so hard and I lose my breath. At other times, my lips curl up and happiness leaks out my eyes at my good fortune to be alive and to have known/know them. We are complex beings with language and feelings, and pairing them can be challenging because we are talking about transformation. It’s ineffable. And fundamental. There’s a physiology to grief. A feeling like the bottom has dropped out. A breaking. A reminder that this is temporary and we are LOVE. A visceral recognition of being a part of the fabric of life itself. Grief, joy, and transformation, if you’re willing, reveal you to yourself. Thank God.

All of these things we say to others suddenly seemed so hollow. To say the honest thing, ‘I see you and I’ll be here’ brings a humanity and vulnerability to grief. (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 7-MINUTE VIDEO.) 14

After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. When Heidi isn’t collaborating with clients, you’ll find her with her hubby, three kiddos, and two pooches in their sweet Midwestern town. She loves to hike, build bonfires, and get lost in books. HeidiMetro.com Heidi@thenewnextlevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

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Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients.

Michelle Rockwood :: SANTA CLAUSE ISN’T REAL, I WILL DIE, AND GRI

Many religions have a similar tradition; from Hinduism to Buddhism, prayer beads help us keep count as we are comforted and connected to ourselves, to each other and to some sense of spirit. We collectively concentrate our thoughts on a specific event, tragedy or intention.

There is a power in those beads.

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s a Catholic kid, we used to pray the rosary as a family. When something horrible would happen, we would gather in my parents’ room and pray about it. We would sit for what seemed like hours, repeating the prayer over and over and over again, until our lips went numb and the syllables blended into a chant.

It’s a physical object that creates a tangible shared experience among everyone there in that moment; everyone who is hoping, wondering and grieving. Your feelings are validated as you’re surrounded by love, and even more simply the recognition that you’re all holding onto the same exact bead.

Now that many of these traditions are becoming less and less common, how do we grieve in our “modern” household? What’s our protocol? How do I teach my kids to feel pain, fully and completely — not to run from it, but rather to lean into it? When we are looking for the next step to take, what can we hold onto? I don’t have the perfect answer, but I think it’s pretty important to figure this out. I am preparing my kids to eventually live and survive on their own, as independent adults. From figuring out 16 and finances to ordering a pizza giving proper change, we practice real-life bit by bit, every single day. We don’t, however, practice managing grief, pain, addiction or depression. We push these inevitable realities down the road in service of creating a childhood without pain or worry. I am (by many mothers’ standards) shockingly honest with

IEF IS OKAY

Michelle Rockwood :: SANTA CLAUSE ISN’T REAL, I WILL DIE, AND GRI

“Mom, I’m pretty sure Santa Claus isn’t real… Is that true?” Without a moment’s hesitation I say “No, he is in fact not real.” Other days, harder questions arise. “Mom, do you think you and Dad will ever get divorced?” I paused at this one for a moment and then responded that yes, in fact 60% of marriages do end in divorce, but I sure hope ours will not. My kid was a little shocked at this but also quite excited because he heard you get two Christmases in these situations. This was a great time for me to tell him that life doesn’t always go as planned, but that he is so capable and smart so when horrible things happen, he can and will eventually thrive. I don’t pretend that I am getting it right. But I think I am onto something here. When you don’t practice life (all of it) with your kids they cannot be prepared to give change to the pizza guy, find their way home when they’re lost, or grieve the loss of you, of a spouse or even simply the loss of a job. In addition to being a mom, I am also a personal coach. When clients first start working with me, I warn them that they will feel a “contraction,” as we call it. They will want to quit and stop 11

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my children. My husband laughs as we recount our minivan conversations on the way home from school, touching on topics that would make many parents uncomfortable.

IEF IS OKAY

and go right back to doing what they were doing before we met. They will try to avoid the pain and struggle. I stop them and explain that no, they must go through it, not around it, and I invite them to observe each step in the process. The simple act of preparing clients for how they are to feel allows them to celebrate the contraction and understand it is a necessary and vital part of the process. This, in my own way, is what I am doing with my children. I am giving them something to hold onto. It’s going to be bumpy and you will learn hard truths like “no, Santa Clause is not real.” Toys cost money and yes, one day I will die, and nope, I don’t know when and that’s okay. All I have is what comes naturally to me and that’s truth, preparation, and surrender. I will feel it all so deeply, both the pain and the beauty of life. It will never be perfect and we won’t get it right. But I will continue to show up and feel so fully and completely all the bits of this beautiful life. I will also continue to search for the equivalent of a rosary or prayer beads for my kiddos and find the way forward that feels right for me and my family to process grief and loss together. All ideas and thoughtful suggestions are welcome, as it’s through each other that we find traditions, prayers, and mantras that give us something to hold onto as we prepare to let go. 19

Michelle Rockwood :: SANTA CLAUSE ISN’T REAL...

Michelle Rockwood BodyMind Enrollment Coach Michelle Rockwood is a fierce and loving Heart-Centered Sales expert for BodyMind Coaching’s 9-month Certification program. She teaches clients the most joyful way to master the sales conversation so they can sell their coaching programs with love, ease and grace. Michelle also runs a program called Sisterhood Rising, it’s designed for badass women ready to reclaim their brilliance. She loves her work and cares deeply for her clients, her family and the world. Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world 20 and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo and her new puppy Ruby. You can connect with Michelle at: TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

What is it like to become a BodyMind Coach?

As a master coach and Licensed Massage Therapist with over 12 years experience, I know there’s a better way to work. How? Because I transformed my heart-centered, hands-on business myself. Not so many years ago, I was where you might be right now: overworked, exhausted and on the brink of burnout.

When clients came in and lay on my table, I found many opened up and shared their stories. They’d talk about their stresses and frustrations, as well as their hopes and desires. Even when they weren’t actually talking, their bodies would also share stories of what they were ready to release and the dreams they were ready to fulfill. And when their hour was up, I’d spent around 30–45 minutes talking through the self-care steps they should take themselves at home before our next session.

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At the time I was working as a successful massage therapist. I had great retention rates, clients regularly referred their friends, and consequently, I was always booked solid.

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It’s my mission to give heart-centered therapists like you the tools to serve your clients and help them achieve lasting results, without you burning yourself out in the process.

IS THIS YOU? I knew my clients wouldn’t get lasting results unless I challenged them to address the habits, behavioral patterns, and limiting beliefs that created their stress in the first place and kept them coming back, session after session. The realization that massage could only really treat the symptoms of my clients’ stress and not the cause, led me to incorporate coaching conversations into my sessions. Once my clients realized the connection between their emotional wellbeing and their physical pain, everything changed. Instead of showing up for sessions having ignored all the aftercare advice I gave them the previous week, they actually began to implement it — willingly! I’ve since coached hundreds of clients using BodyMind Coaching, and now I want to show you how you can use this powerful coaching conversation strategy to transform your business and accelerate your clients’ results, too.

Interested in becoming a BodyMind Coach? Click here for more information.

Carly Clark Zimmer :: INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER

She laid three cards out on the table. One represented the past, one represented the present and one represented the future. The card that was placed in the ‘past’ spot was the Five of Cups. In this particular Tarot deck, the image on the card was a strong-looking white horse with its head hanging in despair. The five cups were at the top of the card radiating white light. Yet the majority of the card had a dark background, almost like a solid wall of dark rain, and this card represented Grief. At first, I was a little confused about why this card was showing up because I had just come from 22

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few years ago I was introduced to Tarot cards while on vacation with friends in Joshua Tree National Park. Early one morning as we were sipping our coffee watching the desert sun rise over the sand-colored rocks, my friend Cat brought out her cards wrapped in a shiny golden scarf. She shuffled a few times and had me cut the deck.

a beautiful BodyMind Business retreat in sunny Laguna Beach, California. Now here I was vacationing with friends in one of the most beautiful places in the world! I was literally living my dream life! Yet as I let the imagery sink in, my eyes filled with tears. An unexpected wave of grief came over me. For the past few years, I’d been doing a ton of personal growth work to unlock what was holding me back from working and living in a way that felt fully aligned with who I am and the deep desire I had to contribute to the world on my own terms. I was done tolerating saying yes 22 to things I didn’t want to do just because I was taught to always be nice. I was tired of downplaying the vision I had for my life and my business just because it might make other people feel uncomfortable. And I was especially done with the part of me that carried around everyone else’s energy like a backpack full of heavy school books because that’s what I thought it meant to care for other people.

yet Grief was there asking to be felt.

Grief wanted me to take some time to mourn the woman that was doing the best she could by giving all of her energy out to everyone else and being afraid to shine too brightly. The time had come to say goodbye to her. And to honor her for the strength and willingness that brought her here to this very moment. Later that day as we hiked the Lost Horse Mine trail, I’d occasionally feel warm tears run down my face and mix with the desert dust. I let myself feel everything. It felt like a sacred ritual to help me

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I was ready to release all of that so that I could move forward...

move forward while honoring all parts of myself. Grief has been no stranger to me throughout my life. I’ve felt the enormity of its presence when losing someone I love. I’ve felt the anger and frustration that comes with searching for an explanation, even when there is no explanation to be had. I’ve felt its blindsiding entrance no matter how much time I’ve had to prepare. I’ve witnessed grief make people run away, literally fleeing their life in search of a place where grief will not find them, only to catch up with them when they least expect it. I’ve seen what happens when grief is not given the time and attention it is asking for, and it decides to stick around for decades. Yet just like the light shining above the horse’s head on that Five of Cups Tarot card, I believe Grief is also a window to let grace into our lives if we are courageous enough to open it up and fully feel it.

Carly Clark Zimmer :: INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER

Carly Clark Zimmer :: INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER everything that does not matter and it gives us permission to be who we are. It allows us to be fully present within ourselves. Isn’t that what so many people are searching for in the self-help and personal development world? To be present and connected to themselves? Yet when Grief comes to our door we are afraid to open it for fear that we will not be able to handle what comes inside or how long it wants to stay. What might happen if instead of ignoring Grief, we welcome it into our home? What if we listened instead of trying to push it away, or convince it that it has shown up at the wrong house, at the wrong time? What if we invited Grief to stay for a little while, set the table with the nice dishes, and gave it a seat at the dinner table?

What if we even lit some candles and decided to chat for a little while? I have a feeling Grief would share some powerful insights with us and then be on their way.

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Grief can strip away

I wonder what might be different if we allowed ourselves to listen to Grief, not only when we lose the ones we love, but also when there are parts of ourselves, decisions, careers, and even old habits that are asking to be laid to rest so that we can fully step into who we came to this earth to be. Our fast-paced culture has us moving so quickly that it seems we only tolerate its presence for a few days at most, and then it’s back to work and onto the next thing. We have forgotten how important feeling grief is, and how ritual can help us transition from one chapter of our lives onto the next. Even something as simple as allowing yourself to let the tears trickle down your face as you feel your emotions mixing together instead of trying to hide or wipe them quickly away can help you honor the feelings that wish to be fully felt.

The next time Grief comes to your door, give yourself time to pause, listen, feel, ask, express, mourn, and share. It is not to be feared, for it is there to share something powerful with you, if you are willing to listen.

“What if we invited Grief to stay for a little while, set the table with the nice dishes, and gave her a seat at the dinner table?” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 6-MINUTE VIDEO.)

Carly Clark Zimmer :: INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER

Carly Clark Zimmer is a Certified BodyMind Coach & Consultant for heart-centered business owners. Through her own BodyMind coaching journey, Carly uncovered her knack for helping coaches simplify and streamline their business while bringing their vision and desire to make an impact to life! Carly transitioned to coaching after spending 12 years as a healer and holistic massage therapist. She saw how stress and pain affected the quality of life of her clients and found BodyMind coaching to be THE TOOL to release stored energy and emotions. She quickly realized it also meant she needed to learn how to be a CEO... and she had the tools from BodyMind to do it on her terms. Now she loves to help other coaches and creatives build profitable, aligned businesses by combining smart business tactics with the body-mind connection. Carly is also the Embodied Tech Expert for the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program, and loves helping the members simplify their busi28 ness systems so they can focus on the powerful work of serving their clients! When sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not wearing her coaching hat, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hiking the emerald green countryside and enjoying the salty sea air of Galway Ireland, where she lives with her husband Devin. CarlyClarkZimmer.com

Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com First 5 (https://carlyclarkzimmer.lpages.co/join-first-5/) @carlyclarkzimmer Carly Clark Zimmer FB: The Heart Centered Coach Club IG:

FB:

I was talking to an amazing Massage Therapist recently. She has been practicing for nearly 15 years and has a schedule that is booked solid with amazing clients. By industry standards, she is definitely ‘successful’.

And that’s when she said it: ‘I feel stuck. I’ve been doing the same thing, day in and day out for years with my clients. And while I love every single one of them, it’s starting to wear on me.’

This was the kicker…‘You know the worst part- even though I know I’m amazing at what I do, I still feel like I have to justify myself and my rates to compete with new therapists and the franchises. I’ve done everything I can to be successful and I feel like I’ve ‘made it’. But inside, I KNOW there is a better way and I just can’t seem to figure it out for myself.’ Can you relate? I know I can — that is exactly where I was just a few years back. Maxed out. On the brink of burn out. And starting to wonder… how I could continue to do the work I love

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

‘I mean, I got into this business to help people heal and I’ve taken loads of CE classes to refine my skills. But it just feels like I’ve hit this invisible ceiling in my business where my income is capped, my time is capped, and my clients keep complaining about the same stuff.’

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An invitation to you...

without working myself to the ground? I knew there was a better way to work, but I had to charter a new path to find it. I made a commitment to myself that I would figure out how to work smarter, not harder (which, as a Massage Therapist, that was no small feat!). I consciously structured my business to honor me so that I could bring my BEST self into my work. The results were clear: — Within 6 months, I doubled my income and had my first 6-figure year. — I CUT BACK the number of clients I worked on (from 25 per week to 12 per week).

— My clients took empowered action between appointments (i.e. all the advice I had been giving them for years, they finally followed through) and were getting amazing results. — I felt a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment in my work that had been missing for years. I believe it is time for a *NEW ERA* of bodyworkers. My mission is to support hands-on and heart-centered practitioners to honor themselves, serve their clients and build their businesses in a healthy way. Join us here.

Spaces are limited... Click here to join this important conversation today! 29

Fidel Melissa Forde Kelley :: GRIEF :: SELF-CARE DOESN’T ISCHANGE AN INSIDE YOU, JOB IT REVEALS YOU

he person I thought I could be, I can no longer become. The friend I thought would always be there is gone. Even when surrounded by others it feels like I’m the only one.

I smile as if everything is okay, hoping that they can’t see it in my eyes. But the more I do, the more I realize that there is something eating me up on the inside. I just need to keep it together and take another breath, or maybe drink another glass of wine. They say if you have a wound it will heal if you give it enough time. But why do things seem to be getting worse? I’m doing my best to keep it together, but I’m a ticking time bomb that one day soon will burst. I don’t want to harm anyone, and the truth is I’m ashamed. Although I love you I’m going to withdraw because when I’m around you 30 all I feel is blame. I’m far from the person I know I can be, and I’m not who I was. Yeah, I know it’s lame. I’m lost... no I’m disconnected... well, I don’t actually know. I feel it in the pit of my stomach rising up. My chest gets so tight that it becomes hard to breathe and then it clogs my throat. I try to use all the tools I know to get grounded, But I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m drowning.

Fidel Forde :: GRIEF DOESNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T CHANGE YOU, IT REVEALS YOU

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Bring your mat and ask yourself, ‘What haven’t you given yourself permission to feel?’ “Sometimes all we can do it feel our way through. We need to let it turn and work its way into us. What’s the gift in this?” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 8.5-MINUTEs VIDEO, INCLUDING A YOGA FLOW FOR CLEARING GRIEF.) 33

Fidel Forde :: GRIEF DOESN’T CHANGE YOU, IT REVEALS YOU “What’s wrong?” I’ll ask again. If I actually knew I would tell you. Okay, I’m broken, something is wrong with me. Look at me, I’m talking to myself. I’m going crazy. “You’re not crazy. It’s just that you’ve been stuck in your head asking the wrong questions, And now you’re finally listening... to me... your heart.” That feeling you get in the pit of your stomach is a mixture of all the feelings you’ve shoved deep. You can’t breathe at times because you’re drowning in all the emotions and haven’t found your voice to express them. Now that you are listening and I have your attention... You are grieving! You’ve been afraid to feel it because it makes you feel out of control. You’re afraid of what others might think if they see you fall apart. You are afraid that you might not be who you think you are, And you’re not quite sure what will happen next. You think that if you grieve it means you’re weak, but grieving is what makes you strong. Your pain will soon become fuel for passion. You don’t have to get over anything, But the deeper you feel everything the more you will grow through it. You see, you don’t know who you are until you’ve grieved. The person you are trying so hard not to be, Because you don’t think that’s who you are, Is the person you’ve always been, but you haven’t given yourself permission to be. Ok heart, I feel you loud and clear!

I’m going to feel everything and redefine what it means to grieve! Sometimes I feel like a failure, so what I’m hearing is that I need to feel it, to release it. Whether I release the failure or grieve my failures, I’ll receive something greater... The life I thought I would have, and the place I thought I would be right now... I’m going to grieve it.

“Yes, that’s it! You can’t receive the life you already have until you release the one you don’t.” You’ll find in the end that you’ll get the life you desire, the life you choose, But it doesn’t come together until everything falls apart. So let yourself fall apart and find out who you are and what you are capable of. Also, your loved ones who you miss. Know that you never lose anyone, because they become a part of you. To grieve them is to honor them. Grieve them deeply because you will never forget. No avoidance. Only full acceptance. It does not change you. It reveals you!

* this poem was written for the person out there who hasn’t found the words yet. You will! 35

Fidel Forde :: GRIEF DOESN’T CHANGE YOU, IT REVEALS YOU

Fidel Forde is a BodyMind & Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Retreat Leader, Massage Therapist, and International Yoga Instructor — aka a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse of a Navy psychologist and a father of three daughters and one son. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout. He is passionate about this work because in 2011 his world was turned upside down. He lost his corporate executive position, struggled to adapt to the multiple relocations and the lifestyle of a military family, and realized that he had no idea how to manage his stress. That is what drove him to the path of becoming a holistic practitioner. He uncovered the power of thebody-mind connection which allowed him to embody his true purpose and gifts of healing, encouraging and empowering others. Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, and hustle with grace. His location-independent 36 business model allows him to travel and work with clients around the world, in person and virtually. Fidel creates one of a kind embodiment retreats for groups and individuals to kick stress to the curb and tap into their personal power.

What Fidel is most proud about is redefining what it means to dad, to be present, and to let it be messy. To connect with Fidel and fuel your spark check him out at: FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde 36

BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: HEIDI METRO

An interview with Laura Wieck and Heidi Metro...

WHAT DOES BODYMIND LIVING MEAN TO YOU?

“D

o you have a community where there’s a commitment to living in the best version of yourself and expressing yourself truly as you are? Where is your space to let go of the layers and shine?” —Laura Wieck

“As an entrepreneur — as someone who is creating a company and creating a business — finding community can be more challenging. Having a BodyMind Living lifestyle that you can share with others is very special and unique. BodyMind Living feels very integrated to me. Even in the course of writing in these issues I’m recognizing different seasons of my life where I’ve collected different lessons, ideologies and philosophies… BodyMind Living is the synthesis of all of this. Even when it is the scariest, even when you are unsure, even when it feels like you’re in the dark of the labyrinth, remember that you are coming home to you.” —Heidi Metro (14 minute video)

Laura Wieck :: SHATTERED

This can’t be real. I looked over at my dive partner, Doc, a geology professor who always had a good story to share and was never at a loss for words. Except now. By the blank look on his face, I could tell he was in shock too. “I have no idea what to say,” was all Doc could muster. Without a word, we took off our scuba kits and passed them up onto the boat. I climbed out and looked over at the other boats, who were also searching for Jenny and Mark. One by one, the scuba divers emerged. Everyone had the same solemn look on their faces.

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y head broke through the surface of the water as I took one last breath from the regulator. I pulled the mask off my face and a mixture of salt water and tears flowed down my cheeks.

I sat on the starboard side of the bow with my feet dangling over the water. As the sun began its descent over the horizon, the shock of what was happening started to wear off and the hope I was so desperately holding onto began to fade. My mind replayed the events of the day over and over on a never-ending loop that would consume my thoughts for years to come… …Waking up to perfectly calm, Caribbean blue water… …Getting my dive gear together… …A shooting pain through my ear… ….Changing my mind and staying back… …Hugging Jenny goodbye… …Watching them get in the boat and drive out through the channel… And now they were missing and presumed dead. Each time the day flashed through my mind, my body tensed up even more. What if I had made a different choice? What if I went with them? The more I tried to rewrite the past, the more my body tensed up. And the more I tensed up, the stronger the emotions built. I looked up in the sky, now a bright pink next to the bright blue water and I prayed, Dear God, please don’t let this be true. Please let Jenny and Mark be ok.

Laura Wieck :: SHATTERED

I knew they were gone. A week later, my grandfather passed away. A week after that, the guy I was seeing told me he got another girl pregnant.

My world

shattered and

all that was left was grief.

Years later I found myself back on the same beach of that fateful day... I wonder if trees grieve the loss of their leaves? I pondered to myself as I looked up at the palm tree, it’s massive leaves swaying in the breeze. With the gritty sand working it’s way between my toes and the smell of salt air filling my nostrils, I felt my constant companion, grief, begin to rise up in my belly. It had been five years since the accident, but as I stood on the very same beach where I watched Jenny and Mark get on the boat

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Right then, a falling star floated across the horizon.

and drive out the channel, never to be seen again, it all came flooding back in. What happened? Why didn’t I stop them? Where they together? I’d been asking these questions since the moment they went missing. From what we knew, it was likely that they had gone into an underwater cave and gotten lost. I felt the tension tighten around my eyes. For so long, I thought that if I could figure out the answers to these questions that it would magically bring Jenny and Mark back to life.

But all it ever did was bring about more questions. I sat down on the beach with my toes right on the edge so the waves gently rolled over them. I looked up at the night sky, which was now lit up by a blanket and a question I had never asked bubbled up to the surface. I began to pray out loud. God… where they with you the moment they passed? Did they invite you into their hearts as they passed? I pushed and took a deep breath. Where they with you? Tears streamed down my face as I imagined their last breath. The thought of being alone in that final moment rattled me. I couldn’t

Laura Wieck :: SHATTERED

I don’t know if the voice was in my head or if it was out loud, but there was a clear, audible voice that echoed through me. That’s when God responded,

“Laura, they weren’t alone. I was with them.”

A sense of peace washed over me. I may never know what happened that day, but in my heart, I know that Jenny and Mark weren’t alone because God was with them.

......................... It’s been nearly 18 years since Jenny and Mark went missing. The grief of their loss is still present in my every day life.

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imagine them being in that cave, knowing they were going to die, and being all alone.

As human beings, I think we try so hard to ‘make sense’ of life. We create these images and ideals of what it’s supposed to look like and be like. And when a loss happens — especially a tragic, unexpected loss — that picture shatters. Grief is there to fill the cracks and remind us of the love that still connects us. For the longest time, that grief was so big and overwhelming that I fought it and did everything I could to shove it back down. I watched as people I loved had no idea how to handle me or my grief because the cracks in my life were so big. Now I know to let the grief in. Let it fill the cracks. Dance with it. Create with it. Because underneath the sadness is a deep sense of love, joy and connection. Today, grief reminds me that we are all held by a source greater than ourselves. And that source, whether you call it God, Universe, or Spirit, is love.

Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work. After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically…

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Laura Wieck Master Coach and Founder of BodyMind Coaching, LMT

and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life. Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, young son, and two well-loved pups. www.LauraWieck.com 43

www.paigebradley.com

Anthem by Leonard Cohen

Yeah the wars they will Be fought again The holy dove She will be caught again Bought and sold And bought again The dove is never free Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack in everything That’s how the light gets in We asked for signs The signs were sent The birth betrayed The marriage spent Yeah the widowhood Of every government Signs for all to see

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The birds they sang At the break of day Start again I heard them say Don’t dwell on what Has passed away Or what is yet to be

I can’t run no more With that lawless crowd While the killers in high places Say their prayers out loud But they’ve summoned, they’ve summoned up A thundercloud And they’re going to hear from me Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack in everything That’s how the light gets in You can add up the parts You won’t have the sum You can strike up the march There is no drum Every heart, every heart to love will come But like a refugee Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack in everything That’s how the light gets in That’s how the light gets in Leonard Cohen Anthem lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES DECEMBER 2020

Karyn Claflin is a Master BodyMind Coach with a background in massage, meditation, and yoga who helps folks who have big dreams but the stressful demands of daily life keep getting in the way. If that sounds like you, Karyn can help you focus on the right things, so you can free up space and energy to do the work you know you’re here to do! KarynClaflin.com IG: balancechampaign

Shana Hartman, LMT BodyMind Master Coach Ph.D., Educator Through her 20+ years of work mastering the power of reflection and intention, she discovered that we are our own experts regarding our body and mind if we just learn to listen. In her experience as owner and operator of Synergy Wellness Group LLC, Shana knows this listening is easier said than done, and we aren’t meant to figure out this amazing life (or body) on our own. It takes practice, specific actions, and support. She loves to support strong, independent womxn in becoming better listeners to their internal wisdom to foster a pattern of abundance in their careers and life, leading to uncomplicated, destressed, and empowered living. ShanaHartman.com IG: shana_supports_you

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If you’re amazing at taking care of everyone else — but are starting to feel over-committed and like something’s just not quite right in your life — you should meet Karyn!

Karyn Claflin BodyMind Coach

Araina Linton BodyMind Master Coach Araina helps overwhelmed women entrepreneurs reduce stress and create the perfect balance between work and life. She is known for a simple step-by-step process that guides women back to their passion to avoid burnout, feel better, have more time, and build their businesses with ease. Finding a balance between work and life is tough. Sometimes despite your ambition, your dreams can feel a bit out of reach, and it can start to cause stress, frustration, and pain. It can be enough to make 48 you want to give up your business. But, there is a better way! If you’re thinking about closing the doors to your business, please reconsider — introduce some healthy habits into your hustle! MassageArtistryNYC.com MassageArtistryNYC IG: arainalinton FB:

If you are ready to align with the abundant reality that has been lovingly awaiting you -- Alina is here to help you explore your intelligent human design, liberate your holistic integrity, and anchor within your Root Chakra, your source of abundant Core Energy! Learn more about Alina and her simple yet powerful programs. IlluminateYourCore.com IG: illumify.a.nu.mi

Christina Tauer BodyMind Coach Christine uses BodyMind Coaching, breathwork, and bodywork, combined with her diverse background in holistic health to best guide her clients to find calm in the chaos. She does this by encouraging clients to honor and love themselves and create a self-care practice that becomes a part of their daily routine. Christine is dedicated to helping womxn discover opportunities to break the patterns and habits around stress to feel best in their body and more present in their lives. Christina and her groundbreaking work is featured here. honumn.com IG: Christine Hinkley

As the founder of Core Momentum Coaching of Illumify A•nu•mí LLC, she creates a safe space for creative, intuitive, highly sensitive individuals to learn how to harness their time, energy, finances, and core momentum to receive abundance, live authentically, and become tethered within spiritual integrity in all areas of their lives.

Alina McGilloway, LMT BodyMind Coach Wholistic Biz Consultant Licensed Esthetician Creative Entrepreneur

Melissa Grossman BodyMind Coaching Program Coordinator Melissa is an invaluable member of #TeamBodyMind where she manages the flow of the program — supporting everyone with a smile and her expertise. A BodyMind Coaching graduate, Melissa retired from her 17-year massage therapy career and sold her practice after successfully transitioning her hands-on business to virtual coaching. With a passion for minimalism and simplicity, Melissa is living her best life on the Jersey Shore where she works from home helping her clients get their businesses running on auto-pilot. MelissaG@LauraWieck.com

BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS OCTOBER 2020

FidelForde.com Fidel@FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde

Melissa is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth and transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. Sacredshe.life

Fidel is a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse to a Navy psychologist and a father of four. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout. Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, hustle with grace and tap in to their personal power.

FIDEL FORDE BodyMind Coach Motivational Speaker Massage Therapist Yoga Instructor Retreat Leader

MELISSA KELLEY BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist BodyMind Coaching Associate Coach Coordinator

HEIDI METRO BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients. After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering 50 womxn to Lead From Within by aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. www.heidimetro.com Heidi@TheNewNextLevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level TheNewNextLevel.com

Michelle Rockwood is a fierce and loving Heart-Centered Sales expert for BodyMind Coaching’s 9-month Certification program. She teaches clients the most joyful way to master the sales conversation so they can sell their coaching programs with love, ease and grace. Michelle also runs a program called Sisterhood Rising, it’s designed for badass women ready to reclaim their brilliance. She loves her work and cares deeply for her clients, her family and the world. Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo and her new puppy Ruby. TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD BodyMind Enrollment Coach

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER BodyMind Coach BodyMind Embodied Tech Expert Through her own BodyMind coaching journey, Carly uncovered her knack for helping coaches simplify and streamline their business while bringing their vision and desire to make an impact to life! She helps other coaches and creatives build profitable, aligned businesses by combining smart business tactics with the bodymind connection. When she’s not wearing her coaching hat, she’s hiking the emerald green countryside and enjoying the salty sea air of Galway Ireland, where she lives with her husband Devin. CarlyClarkZimmer.com Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com IG: @carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer BodyMind Coaching and Consulting

LAURA WIECK Certified Master Coach & Mentor Licensed Massage Therapist Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work. After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life. Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, son, and two well-loved pups.

LauraWieck.com TheNewBodyMind.com FB: LauraWieck IG: @LauraWieck

Laura Wieck LLC EDITOR Laura Wieck support@LauraWieck.com ART DIRECTION & DESIGN Sandy Bassett sandy@sandybassett.com DISTRIBUTION Subscriptions questions: support@LauraWieck.com To renew or change address: support@LauraWieck.com To subscribe visit BodyMindLiving.com For additional assistance: support@LauraWieck.com MAILING ADDRESS PO Box 21712 Columbus, OH 43221-0712 Reproduction of editorial or advertising content without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. ©2020 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BodyMind Living Magazine, PO Box 21712, Columbus, OH 43221-0712 DEC 2020..............Issue No 3 BodyMind Living Magazine is published 10 times/year by Laura Wieck LLC. Periodicals postage paid at Columbus, Ohio and additional mailing offices.

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PUBLISHER

IMAGE CREDITS Delighted to present this amazing art: © Expansion by Paige Bradley www.paigebradley.com pages 44/45, 46/47

With the stunning images from photographers around the world who contribute to Unsplash, BodyMind Living Magazine benefits greatly and we would like to honor and thank them. Jayden Brand (pages 4/5) David Ragusa (page 6) Joshua Hibbert (page 6) Sandy Millar (page 7) Freestocks (pps 12) Aaron Burden (page 17) Jack Sharp (page 20) JoshuaMeg Jerrard (page 24) Lily Saffu (back cover)

Photographs supplied to us by our team and Ambassadors. Fidel Forde Melissa Kelley Heidi Metro Michelle Rockwood Laura Wieck Carly Clark Zimmer

the redefining grief issue...

Now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your turn... We hope you enjoyed this issue, and as always the conversation continues over at The BodyMind Living Community.

Please join us and let us know a little bit about what showed up for you. How do you define grief in your life?

Was there an opportunity where grief awakens you? Did grief allow you to deepen your expression of life?

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re so grateful to have you here. Living BodyMind is about living the brilliance of who you are, and sharing that with the world.

MEET YOUR BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS DEC 2020 :: RE-DEFINING GRIEF

FIDEL FORDE PAGE 44

MELISSA KELLEY PAGE 4

You think that if you grieve it

I have felt grief rise up

means you're weak, but grieving

and pull me under in order

is what makes you strong.

to lift me up.

LAURA WIECK PAGE 53

“A mixture of salt water and tears ﬂowed down my cheeks.

navigatingG R I E F This can’t be real...”

HEIDI METRO PAGE 26

My life was altered forever. And there was grief waiting for me. 54

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER PAGE 35

What if we invited Grief to stay for a little while, set the table with the nice dishes, and gave her a seat at the dinner table?

BODYMIND

PAGE 10

I don’t pretend that I am getting it right. But I think I am onto something here.