BodyMind Living Magazine :: The Redefining Collection :: May 2021 by BodyMind Living

redefining

HEALINGPURPOSEFREEDOMSELFCAREGRIEFSUCCESS

THE

COLLECTION

BODYMIND

™

MAGAZINE

THE COMPILATION ISSUE OF REDEFINING :: MAY 2021

H E A L I N G P U R P O S E S E L F C A R E F R E E D O M G R I E F S U C C E S S

COLLECTION

contents O

SELF-CARE.........................................5 SUCCESS ..........................................59 GRIEF ............................................. 111 FREEDOM..................................... 167 PURPOSE...................................... 222 HEALING ...................................... 287

Welcome to the Collection

This is a very special issue. Over the past 6 months we’ve been looking at common themes and buzzwords that are often thrown around in the self help space. Self-care. Success. Grief. Freedom. Purpose. Healing. During our time together we looked at these words through the lens of what do they look like and feel like in our bodies and in our lives? Is the definition that many of us are taught and raised with really true? What would it look like to embody these words and live them in our lives? Every month the articles were amazing. We laughed, we cried, we hugged each other and each issue has been this transformational experience. This month we have taken our premiere season publications of BodyMind Living Magazine and put them in one package of goodness. This is a magical experience and you now literally have this self-help book in the palm of your hands and the comfort of your own reading device.

As I always add, grab a cup of your favorite beverage, get in a comfortable space, bookmark this place so you can return whenever you need. There is so much love and joy and expansion and opportunity within these pages for you to look at your own life and redefine what these words mean for you. The conversations continue in our private BodyMind Living community… we cannot wait to connect with you there.

redefining S E L F C A R E

BODYMIND ©

PREMIERE ISSUE radical self care

ISSUE No 1 : : Redef ining S E L F C A R E : : OCTOBER 2020

The self help revolution... Redeﬁned.

WELCOME .........................................7 RADICAL SELF-CARE ......................8 CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL .............16 MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

RADICAL SELF-CARE REDEFINED .....................................22 FIDEL FORDE

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BECOME A BODYMIND COACH .................29 SELF-CARE IS AN INSIDE JOB....30 MELISSA KELLEY

FILLING YOUR OWN CUP ..........36 HEIDI METRO

BODYMIND INVITATION ............43 SELF-CARE REDEFINED ...............44 LAURA WIECK

AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY .......50 ASSOCIATE COACH DIRECTORY .....................................52 NAVIGATING THIS ISSUE ....................................... BACK COVER

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Come on inside...

Welcome to BodyMind Living! It is truly an honor to have you here in this sacred space to explore and learn what it means to LIVE BodyMind. I’ve been in the personal growth & wellness space for nearly two decades. I’ve read hundreds of books, listened to countless podcasts, ventured half way around the world to attend retreats, invested tens of thousands of dollars in coaching, filled up dozens of journals with aﬃrmations… and still felt like there was ‘something else’ out there that I needed to uncover to finally feel whole. Along the way, I had these moments… moments where everything clicked. Moments where I experienced what it meant to live the paradox of life — you know — those moments where you literally feel what it means to be, as Rumi says, ‘the ocean in a drop’. I started to get curious and what I realized was that the moments I felt like I could finally stop chasing and start living were the moments I felt fully EMBODIED. And that is why we are here. From a young age, we are conditioned in our culture to disconnect from the body and give allegiance to the mind. Instead of the body being a source of deep connection and wisdom, it becomes something we need to control, shape, perfect, and quiet. And we hit our thirties and wonder why we never feel good enough and step into this world of ‘personal development’ and ‘self help’. But that same root cause of separation has permeated the personal growth world as well. I believe the biggest challenge in this industry is this belief that we can ‘think’ our way forward. That somehow, knowledge will save us and if we can ‘figure it out’ and ‘think positive’ enough, that the pieces will finally fall together. Oh… and… at some point when your intuition kicks in, you should listen to that too. My experience has been the total opposite. As soon as I got out of my head and into my body… my life finally started to make sense. The thing is… I know you KNOW this. The real work is consistently LIVING BodyMind. But what does that look like… what does that feel like… in your day-to-day life? I created this magazine and invited some of my dear friends and BodyMind Coaches to explore what BodyMind Living means in actual practice. We believe that Living BodyMind is a revolution because the systems and structures set up in our lives are rooted in disconnection. Living BodyMind is about coming back home into ourselves and fully living connected. Are you ready to stop chasing and start living? —Laura

Carly Clark Zimmer :: RADICAL SELF-CARE

I’d been a massage therapist at the hotel spa for six years. This job was considered la crème de la crème of massage therapy jobs. I was making nearly six-figures, I had paid vacation and sick time, a retirement plan, and it was a union so technically I had a job for life. My family and friends were so proud of me that I finally had a decent paying and secure job. I’d found my box that fit nicely into what society expected of me.

And, I was terribly unfulfilled and unhappy.

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n the 21st floor of a five star hotel spa in the heart of Manhattan, I rushed into my treatment room and quickly closed the door behind me. My breathing was intense, my heart beat racing, and my organs were doing cartwheels. My body was screaming “today is the day. You cannot wait any longer.”

I was wearing a pair of golden handcuffs. They were heavy and tight. The side effect was physical, emotional and spiritual exhaustion. In the midst of just trying to get through each day, there was an internal whisper that kept sharing that I had something else to do here on the planet. On my days off I would spend my time learning about personal development and online business. I had this vision of working virtually so that I could spend big chunks of time visiting friends and family around the globe, and still be doing something I loved for work. I’d started a small private practice on the side and kept saying to myself: “After the holiday rush will be a good time to let them know I’m leaving.” “That other therapist is out on medical leave. When they get back, I’ll give notice.” “When they ﬁnd a replacement for the therapist who just left, then I’ll tell them so they won’t be struggling for coverage.”

I was waiting until it was

convenient for

everyone else to

go all in on my dream.

That day, my body decided it was time to take over my decision making process! I had a visceral reaction and together, we declared that it was time to leave. I mustered up my courage, and asked the manager to come talk with me privately. As soon as the dreaded 3-minute conversation that I had been waiting to have for years was over, all of those anxious feelings turned into excitement!

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If you’re a recovering peoplepleaser like myself, shaking up the status quo and disappointing others does not come easily. I’d been thinking about leaving for years! But every time I worked up the courage to go talk to my manager, something came up and I chickened out.

I felt freedom! For months, I’d been experiencing all the signs of burnout. I’d come into work and see my schedule booked-out and feel the pit of dread in my stomach. I was starting to resent my clients because I was in so much pain. I was resenting the company because of corporate protocol and limitations. I was icing my forearms after every shift, self-medicating with anti-inflammatories and too much wine in the evening. When I did have free time to work on my business, I was too tired. A few days before I gave notice, I’d experienced a panic attack on the train ride home to Long Island. My hubby had never seen me so anxious and upset. That night we agreed I’d stay six more months while I continued to build my

Carly Clark Zimmer :: RADICAL SELF-CARE

What I’ve come to understand through BodyMind is that most conflicts, both internal and external, can be solved by an uncomfortable conversation. I’ve also learned that the majority of us do not know how to have those uncomfortable conversations with themselves first, so having them with other people becomes increasingly diﬃcult and confusing. Over the past 13 years as a healer, I’ve seen and felt what happens when we put these conversations off. There comes a moment where our body steps in and takes over. I feel like I got off easy with a panic attack. I’ve seen this play out

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private practice on the side. When I arrived back at work, my body said “That plan actually starts today, honey. Not six months from now!” The decision was clear.

Carly Clark Zimmer :: RADICAL SELF-CARE

When you can get honest with yourself about your current circumstances and then cultivate the courage to follow your heart, this is the true definition of radical self-care. It’s treating yourself well at the deepest level — the level of the heart and soul. It’s connected with the whisper that tells you, you have a job to do here on this planet. It’s finding your inner alignment, and moving through the resistance and rationalizations of the mind to follow that alignment.

as heart attacks, cancer, idiopathic illness, divorce, accidents, anxiety and depression, the list goes on. If we do not listen, our body will tolerate our denial for a while. The longer we suppress its voice, the more dramatic it’s actions are when it is finally allowed to speak.

It starts with getting quiet, quiet enough to listen to that little whisper inside that says “what if?” What if I started to put some time and energy into believing that I could follow that dream, instead of immediately dismissing it and rationalizing all of the reasons why I can’t? I believe that radical self-care is taking a chance on yourself, instead of letting others tell you what your life should look like, and when it will be the good time to make a change. How can others possibly know what’s best for you? You are the one living inside your body. You get to feel what you’re feeling. No one else gets that chance. No one else has the same desires and life experiences and ideas that you do! The thing that amazes me about humans is we have the capability to DREAM, imagine, and connect with the Universe, God, Spirit, Nature — whatever that bigger Source is for you — we get to connect with that and feel it in our bodies! Yet what happens for most of us after we open our hearts and deeply connect with that vision, we have a voice that says “well that’s a nice dream but here’s all the reasons why I can’t” follow the divine dream that was just given to us. Most of us accept that critical voice as truth. In reality, this is

When you begin to live BodyMind connected, you have the tools to hear that voice, and connect with the deeper pull of the vision underneath it. You learn that true self care is hearing that critical voice and choosing to follow your alignment instead. It’s like having the feeling of a net beneath you at all times — even when life is diﬃcult, and taking the leap. Leaving that job was the moment I started to feel what alignment meant. From that moment on the feeling was unmistakable in my body. If something felt off, my body was right there to tell me. It was as if my senses were heightened, and I could no longer convince or rationalize myself into making unaligned decisions. My body now had a voice. It was strong, calm and unwavering.

It took some time to fully

trust that voice. A few more similar situations caused me to reflect and say ”I knew that wasn’t a good idea. My body was telling me to do something else and I didn’t listen. This is a chance to deepen my intuitive knowing and trust it.” It is a reconnection to wholeness that we get to experience. And

the voice of fear, judgement, and scarcity.

“Don’t ignore the signals your body is sending you.” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 5-MINUTE VIDEO.)

when we live BodyMind connected, the magic of life gets to come forward. This process has now become a part of my life. It’s how I make decisions. I’ve followed the feeling, and the vision that was put in my heart, and it just keeps getting stronger. The life I’m living today feels like a reflection of living BodyMind connected. I went from a 90-minute commute to a job that burned me out to having a virtual coaching practice, and living in Ireland with my husband. As I write this, I’m looking out over the sea watching the dramatic purple clouds roll across the rocky terrain of the Burren and reflect in the water of Galway Bay. I look at my calendar each day and feel excitement for the clients I get to work with and the big projects I get to contribute to! I feel like I’m helping people in the best way I can every day. That is a feeling I hope you get to feel too. 13

Carly Clark Zimmer :: RADICAL SELF-CARE

It’s feeling that sense of belonging within yourself and trusting your internal compass to guide you. It’s feeling and thinking in wholeness. And it’s trusting that when you follow the feeling, what lies on the otherside are the dreams and possibilities that become realities when we take a chance on them.

Isn’t that

what we are all longing for?

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When you can access the truth in your heart and start to have that very real, and sometimes diﬃcult conversation with yourself, and the courage to follow the feeling from that grounded and connected space, you have the ability to make that vision come to life. It’s the inner knowing and acknowledgement of the desire in your heart for something different, and going all-in on yourself to make that vision come to life.

Carly Clark Zimmer is a Certified BodyMind Coach & Consultant for heart-centered business owners. Through her own BodyMind coaching journey, Carly uncovered her knack for helping coaches simplify and streamline their business while bringing their vision and desire to make an impact to life! Carly transitioned to coaching after spending 12 years as a healer and holistic massage therapist. She saw how stress and pain aﬀected the quality of life of her clients and found BodyMind coaching to be THE TOOL to release stored energy and emotions. She quickly realized it also meant she needed to learn how to be a CEO... and she had the tools from BodyMind to do it on her terms. Now she loves to help other coaches and creatives build profitable, aligned businesses by combining smart business tactics with the body-mind connection. Carly is also the Embodied Tech Expert for the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program, and loves helping the members simplify their business systems so they can focus on the powerful work of serving their clients! When she’s not wearing her coaching hat, she’s hiking the emerald green countryside and enjoying the salty sea air of Galway Ireland, where she lives with her husband Devin. CarlyClarkZimmer.com IG: @carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer BodyMind Coaching and Consulting

Michelle Rockwood :: YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL

It began in the hospital when they laid my baby on my chest; I was so exhausted that the nurse had to help me lift my head to see him bob and climb his way to my breast. It was in that moment I began to disappear. The years that followed were at the same time glorious, painful, confusing, wonderful, and maddening. Two more children came, the years ticked by, and I changed from a brilliant woman to just another fixture in the room; a lamp whose string was pulled when the light was needed, but eventually even I forgot was there.

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he girl inside of me who had hopped on a plane, taught herself French and joined the Peace Corps was fading fast. I loved that girl, and I was sad to see her go.

Michelle Rockwood :: YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL

They say your home is a reflection of how you’re feeling inside, and this couldn’t have been more true. My house was neat and tidy but with shit piled up in the corners everywhere, out of view. If you opened one of my closets, you would have been buried in an avalanche of junk. Like this, my self-care routine was just a window-dressing, a facade that hid what was really happening inside. This was all because I wanted to be a brilliant mom and to raise amazing, loving, glorious children. I still do. I assumed that raising brilliant humans surely requires 100% of my focus and that means giving something up. Someone had to sacrifice and I chose me. I raised my hand and bravely stepped forward. I quit my job, I quit graduate school. Eventually, I began dreaming about travel less and less.

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As an exhausted mom, I worked my way down the “checklist” of self-care. Through each pregnancy, I’d backbend my way through the third trimester, eat kale nonstop, and get monthly mani/pedis. Check! I’d lose the baby weight, get the kids into the best school, teach them to read before kindergarten. Done, done, done. I did yoga feverishly, trying to somehow not lose myself, my body, the ability to feel. I just recently found out that most people don’t cry through a mid-morning yoga class.

I ignored my inner knowing.

That voice inside, tapping me on the shoulder and saying… “Hun, what about you? Your dreams matter.” That brilliant badass woman, the globetrotter who traveled Thailand alone and interned in the US Senate, was still inside and damn was she yearning to be set free.

It took me almost ten years to realize that when my children were born, it didn’t mean the death of me. I’m not sure where the narrative came from, that I had to give up my dreams for my children to thrive. Whose truth is that? And why are we fed this lie? When you don’t listen to your intuition, to that voice whispering in your ear saying, “there’s more,” you begin to die. You get sick, first emotionally then physically. I see it so often with my coaching clients. One day your body says “hell no, not one single minute more.” Then the truth comes spilling out in so many horrible ways — alcohol, divorce, illness — you name it. What’s worse is that it’s often avoidable.

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I will let you in on a secret that took me a decade to discover — it’s avoidable if you choose you. If you want to live an amazing, happy, and fulfilled life, that’s what it comes down to. I’ll repeat it. If you are struggling to “have it all,” then start by choosing you. Your children will grow up and leave, dogs live only 15 years, and your spouse may even die. I invite you to stand in front of the mirror

naked with your stretch marks shining and your nipples pointing in opposite directions and say

“Yes. Hell yes. I choose her.”

But “choosing you” doesn’t mean going down the self-care checklist

Michelle Rockwood :: YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL

I now know that my dreams are more important than ever — I matter more than ever. I have three boys watching my every move, and I’m setting an example for their own lives, for their relationships. I’m teaching them to follow their inner knowing, their truth. We can co-exist, their lives and my dreams. It’s okay if they’re not one and the same. In fact, let’s celebrate it. Fifteen years ago, before kids, a husband or a mortgage, I took off on a plane to West Africa, where I would live and work for several years in the US Peace Corps. I sat in the airplane seat, terrified. I put my head on the back of the seat, held back nausea, and let the tears flow as the plane took off. But I was not terrified of the terrain, the poverty, or the people I would meet — I was afraid of the silence. I was scared to be alone with my own thoughts, to truly get to know myself. 20

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of bubble baths, chardonnay, and yoga. It means nurturing your independent self and who you were before that chaotic life crept up around you like vines in a garden. It means finding your own ways to be brilliant, to be powerful, to make money, to be educated, to contribute in fulfilling ways outside the house. For me, it was through BodyMind Coaching that I learned how to choose myself. I came to realize you don’t need to dim your light for any man, child, in-law or moms’ group. In fact, the brighter you shine, the more it illuminates those around you.

And today... I’m still often afraid. I’m scared of each new revelation I’ll find when I look deep within myself. I also fear never stepping into my full potential, never showing my kids what’s possible. I fear I’ll revert to my old ways, the way I was before BodyMind Coaching became such a huge part of my life, when self-care was just a glass of wine, a girls’ weekend away, or a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. All lovely but all just a band-aid. I want to deliver a new message to moms as that first baby comes screaming out into the world. I want you to write your dreams in black ink and submit them to the universe. Hell, write them on the whiteboard in the delivery room. Tell your spouse about them, share them with your kids, and create a life that puts these dreams front and center. Choose you, it’s the only way. Today, I teach women entrepreneurs how to listen to themselves and rediscover their gifts, to rekindle the light that may have grown dim. I urge them not to give up what they love but instead better understand why they love it. When you work from this space, from a space of authenticity and joy, success is inevitable and money flows.

They often say, “I wish I’d found you sooner...” and I always agree.

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Michelle Rockwood BodyMind Enrollment Coach Michelle Rockwood is a yoga teacher with a background in sales and non-profit development. She lives in Denver, Colorado and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog, Tigo. Michelle loves the strong and lasting connections she makes with clients and loves being a part of the BodyMind community. As an enrollment coach, Michelle will help you get clear on where you are in your business and help you articulate what you truly desire. Together you will determine if BodyMind Coaching is right for you. Michelle’s favorite part of her work is reﬂecting with clients on their first enrollment call, as so often that call oﬀers a pivotal moment to create a huge wave of change. TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

Fidel Forde :: RADICAL SELF-CARE REDEFINED

It was never taught to me. Growing up there was no man and no father to sit me down and talk about my feelings — what to do with them, how not to burn out, or the importance of self-care. For sure it was never modeled to me. It’s not their fault, they were never taught either.

I was taught man-care. Man-care is doing whatever it takes to be successful to provide and take care of your family. It’s every man for himself, so you suck it up and get the job done. While perhaps seen as “noble,” the nature of that mindset and hustle results in lacking presence at home, in relationships, and in our bodies. 22

elf-care never did me any good, in fact it never seemed to last — it created more work, more stress on my relationships, it constantly left me feeling guilty, and made it seem impossible to create any form of consistency. That is up until I learned that I was doing self-care wrong.

I was raised in Jamaican culture. The men are gone all day “providing” and their form of self-care was doing nothing after a long day which in most cases meant disconnecting. When most people disconnect they disconnect from the world around them, as well as their body, their feelings, and the world within them. True self-care is about reconnecting, and we’ll get to that in a moment. My situation was a little different. There wasn’t a man to model or demonstrate what it meant to provide or be a man. My mom raised four of us, worked third shifts as a nurse so she could work while we were sleeping, and worked other jobs over the years while we were in school. She not only took care of me and my siblings, but she took care of all our family in Jamaica. As a boy, I would come downstairs in the morning to a hot meal, usually oatmeal to fill my tummy for the day. Every night we had a good Jamaican dinner, said prayers before bed and joked around. She did whatever it took, always had a smile on her face, and is my hero to this day. But I watched her self-sacrifice her needs so that she could take care of everyone ese. I learned early on as a kid that hustle and sacrifice were how you get ahead. That you take care of your-self only after you “got the job done.” So I got my first job at age 11 where I worked long hours during the summer with my uncle. In high school I had three jobs, and explored several business opportunities on the side. At the age of

I was really on the fast track to burn out, but I didn’t know it until my world turned upside down. It wasn’t until after multiple military locations and multiple children when I realized I had no idea how to de-stress. Just having a positive attitude and trying not to focus on the negative was no longer a solution. Who knew that my body was storing up all the unprocessed thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I was miserable, I felt this burden of responsibility for not being able to provide, my shoulders and back started to ache like never before.

I wouldn’t

admit how bad I was feeling, I didn’t have the words.

Instead I’d say, ‘“It’s okay, I just had a hard day, I need time.” No, it wasn’t okay and I didn’t need more time. What I needed was to get real about how I was feeling. I was so disappointed. The life I thought I was going to live was no longer in my grasp, and pain in my body was this reminder that I couldn’t have it.

20 I was managing a restaurant. By 24 I was married and was on the corporate America fast-track.

Fidel Forde :: RADICAL SELF-CARE REDEFINED

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The reality is that I wasn’t living in alignment. I can only speak to this now because in the first part of creating a new career I went on to become a massage therapist, a yoga instructor, and BodyMind Coach. Through this journey of self-care I learned to come into alignment internally and externally more each day.

There are huge misconceptions about self-care. One of them that keeps good people feeling guilty is a limiting belief that taking time for yourself equates to taking time away from others. And when you are heart-centered you don’t want to take time away from anyone. Self-care is rarely convenient and generally messy. As a man, I have to allow myself to feel the guilt of hurting someone’s feelings, honoring a boundary, disappointing someone, but not letting that guilt stop me from doing what I know in my heart I need to do. This process is what makes it loving. I love you enough to tell you the truth. I love me enough to live my truth and be truthful with myself. 25

Fidel Forde :: RADICAL SELF-CARE REDEFINED

In this video story, Fidel shares feeling frustrated when “I wasn’t where I needed to be.” How those feelings led him to deeper satisfaction and joy is his journey every day now. He realized he needed to acknowledge his desires and allow himself to receive. He asks, “If you were limitless, what would you do?” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 15-MINUTE VIDEO.)

Self-care is usually talked about as if it’s something you do, but what I’ve learned is that it goes way beyond something that you “do” for yourself, and has everything to do with who you get to “be” for yourself. It’s true that you are better able to take care of others when you are taking care 26

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Self-care is taking a stand for yourself and to yourself. It’s treating yourself the way you want others to treat you, taking actions that are in alignment with your heart and desires, and honoring your feelings without judgment. I’ve had so many conversations when I’ve said, “but this is how I feel, right, wrong or different, I feel this way.” Honoring this truth is self-care.

of yourself, but self-care is about who you get to be. Doing what makes you come alive ignites your spark.

Make sure you are nurturing that spark of

yours because

when you ignite

you light up the world!

Fidel Forde :: RADICAL SELF-CARE REDEFINED

Fidel Forde is a BodyMind & Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Retreat Leader, Massage Therapist, and International Yoga Instructor — aka a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse to a Navy psychologist and a father to three daughters and one son. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout. He is passionate about this work because in 2011 his world was turned upside down. He lost his corporate executive position, struggled to adapt to the multiple relocation and lifestyle of a military family, and realized that he had no idea how to manage his stress. That is what drove him to the path of becoming a holistic practitioner. He uncovered the power of body-mind connection which allowed him to embody his true purpose and gifts of healing, encouraging and empowering others. Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, and hustle with grace. His location-independent business model allows him to travel and work with clients around the world, in person and virtually. Fidel creates one of a kind embodiment retreats for groups and individuals to kick stress to the curb and tap in to their personal power.

To connect with Fidel and fuel your spark check him out at: FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde 28

What is it like to become a BodyMind Coach?

How? Because I transformed my heart-centered, hands-on business myself. Not so many years ago, I was where you might be right now: overworked, exhausted and on the brink of burnout. At the time I was working as a successful massage therapist. I had great retention rates, clients regularly referred their friends, and consequently, I was always booked solid.

When clients came in and lay on my table, I found many opened up and shared their stories. They’d talk about their stresses and frustrations, as well as their hopes and desires. Even when they weren’t actually talking, their bodies would also share stories of what they were ready to release and the dreams they were ready to fulfill. And when their hour was up, I’d spent around 30–45 minutes talking through the self-care steps they should take themselves at home before our next session. Is this you? I knew my clients wouldn’t get lasting results unless I challenged them to address the habits, behavioral patterns, and limiting beliefs that created their stress in the first place and kept them coming back, session after session.

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As a master coach and Licensed Massage Therapist with over 12 years experience, I know there’s a better way to work.

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It’s my mission to give heart-centered therapists like you the tools to serve your clients and help them achieve lasting results, without you burning yourself out in the process.

The realization that massage could only really treat the symptoms of my clients’ stress and not the cause, led me to incorporate coaching conversations into my sessions. Once my clients realized the connection between their emotional wellbeing and their physical pain, everything changed. Instead of showing up for sessions having ignored all the aftercare advice I gave them the previous week, they actually began to implement it — willingly! I’ve since coached hundreds of clients using BodyMind Coaching, and now I want to show you how you can use this powerful coaching conversation strategy to transform your business and accelerate your clients’ results, too. Interested?

Melissa Kelley :: SELF-CARE IS AN INSIDE JOB

Mainstream conversations have spun self-care into a commodity that many people have come to equate with opulence and luxury.

This positions self-care as something outside of ourselves, as something we need to ‘get’ or something we must ‘consume’.

t’s time to get real about self-care. I am exhausted and disheartened with all the ways our culture has grossly distorted the concept of self-care and how we are “supposed” to practice it. One does not have to look far or dig deep to encounter a deluge of noise all touting the overused #selfcare.

It. Has. To. Stop. We are inadvertently cutting ourselves off from the very core of what sustains us. Externalizing an interior process keeps people cycling on the hamster wheel of stress, pain and dysfunction. This deepens the cultural disconnect between body and mind, fosters comparison to others, perpetuates feelings of shame for not “getting it right” or not having access to resources, and fuels the search for magic pills and quick fix solutions. It’s time for a re-frame. How about we all just take a sacred pause and stop to contemplate for a moment. What if we actually got to know the “self” we are caring for? What if we started to source our self-care from the inside out? If we approach self-care from this angle, it doesn’t take long to begin to see that you cannot “hack” your way to wellbeing. Yes, there are certainly some simple things we can implement for ourselves to make life easier and more enjoyable, but as a rule I don’t believe in a fast track to wellness. Self-care is about the long game. I know because I’ve been walking this path my entire life. I have memories of beginning to observe and track my own stress response through my teenage years. Anxiety and dysfunction were prevalent energetic

As an adolescent making my way towards adulthood, a single truth was crystal clear:

Living your life from a constant state of depletion will make you sick, one way or another. This was apparent in my own physiology and deeply woven through the threads of my lineage. At an instinctual level, I understood that if I did not learn how to manage my stress, it would most definitely end up managing me. I also knew that if I wanted to live a different experience, I would have to be the one to create it. And so I set out to study stress, the stress response and wellness. I discovered classes at my college focused on the BodyMind Connection, Creative Visualization and Nourishing the Mind, Body and Spirit. I found Deepak Chopra, Herbert Benson and Shakti Gowen. It was here that I sourced my roots in self-care. I began to view self-care as an antidote for stress and a way to stay proactive in my own wellbeing. I graduated from college and enrolled in massage

components in my environment and I distinctly remember recognizing how these energies began to manifest in my body.

school. I learned how to truly be present in my body and guide clients to do the same. For me, self-care is soul care. It is about understanding and engaging my own BodyMind connection so that I may know what my body and my being require in order to be healthy. It’s about making those things nonnegotiable in my day to day life.

I believe that self-care is a

deeply personal practice.

Something individualized that you get to curate for yourself with the same reverence and compassion you commit to your family, your clients, and all of the people in your world whom you consistently nurture and support. Self-care is about prioritizing your basic needs, taking the time to explore what those needs are and why they are important. Self-care is self-awareness and self-love. It is a decision to create nourishing practices for yourself and honor the commitment you make to your well being. Self-care is the culmination of daily habits, practices and the rituals that sustain you. 31

Melissa Kelley :: SELF-CARE IS AN INSIDE JOB

Self-care says: I listen to my body. I listen to my soul. I listen to my intuition. My boundaries are non-negotiable. In all the years of developing my own personal practice for selfcare and in supporting my clients to do the same, I have come to understand that self-care is an inside job. Any messaging that says otherwise is attempting to lead you away from one of your most powerful resources — your inner wisdom. A commitment to self-care keeps you connected to the truth that you have innate value as a human being. You are worthy of sacred care. This knowing

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It requires learning to shift gears internally so that you may be still within yourself and really listen.

supports you in cultivating the courage to trust yourself, no matter what. Trusting yourself fuels the courage to break unhealthy cycles. Self-care guides you to the tools and the means to interrupt patterns of stress and disconnection. Self-care supports you in developing resilience and exercising autonomy. Practiced consistently over time, you begin to trust that everything you need is within you.

You get to define your value,

your purpose and your direction in the world.

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Heidi Metro :: FILLING YOUR OWN CUP

Now, hold on a second. I understand what is being said: You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. The messaging of “fill your cup” shows up right alongside the “helpful” reminder that self-care is important. And I used to happily encourage women to do the very same thing.

But it’s dangerous. Dangerous because this message is almost exclusively for the ladies. You know it is. My partner Mike has NEVER been told “you can’t fill from an empty cup.” The first time he ever actually heard that phrase was when I asked him if anyone had ever said that to him. To which he responded, “Um...no?” Dangerous because it implies that once we fill our own cups first, we are then supposed to go around and fill everyone else’s cup. Fill it up. Pour it out. Repeat for life.

ill your own cup first” is utter BS. Absolute garbage.

Dangerous because when we look for our cups to be filled outside of us, we are constantly chasing. Hustling. Disconnecting.

No. No. And no. As women, leaders, coaches, caregivers, we are taught and rewarded to be out of balance with our wellness. Over-giving, over-delivering, over-functioning is woven into the fabric of our culture. We hear, “Oh she’s so selfless,” and “She’s always putting others first,” and “I just don’t know how she does it all!” This is code for “out of alignment.” Legit. Stop it. This is not the way forward. It will keep you chasing the next high of someone giving you positive feedback for going against yourself. What if we get to evolve? What if now that we know we have a cup, we realize/REMEMBER we have a whole well as our Source? Well-being. Well-ness. A wellspring of God! Ditch the cup and connect to the Source! We get to be connected to our wellspring through intention, values, daily rituals, support, adventure, and badassery. What if, here’s an idea...the people in your life have their own SOURCE too? And from now on, it ain’t you. What is about you, is your self-care. Self-care for women has been touted as bubble baths and 37

Heidi Metro :: FILLING YOUR OWN CUP

Let’s look at what REAL AND LASTING self-care requires: Sacred-Rebellion and Boundaries. Sacred, by definition, is “to make holy.” We must reclaim our selfcare by making it holy. Whole. Integrated. Connected to ourselves through our Source/God/ Energy/The Force. And we have to REBEL! Rebel against a status quo that burns us out, pisses us off, and disconnects us from ourselves and our Source, and thereby each other. How? Boundaries. We say no. We say enough. We say I love you so much that I will be your witness but not your keeper. We say this is how you do laundry. It’s yours to do now. We say this is as far as I go. We say, the line is here and I won’t cross it. We say I don’t work weekends. We say, YES! to a life of alignment and values and boundaries and purpose, oh my! Boundaries are your best friend. If you desire patience, you need boundaries. If you are creative but feeling stifled, yep, boundaries. If you’re resentful and pissed off all the time...you guessed it.. 38

bullshit so we can gear up and serve the world with a smile.. “Fill your cup” nonsense. No thank you. Do you want to ACTUALLY put yourself first?

boundaries! If you say, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done,” you are so far passed your boundaries that you may not know where they are.

Deep breath. Let’s reframe boundaries: Boundaries are more for you than anyone else. They tell you when you’ve gone too far and are disconnecting from yourself and Source, which paradoxically can leave you feeling like you’re not doing enough. Cue the burnout cycle of filling your cup with “selfcare” and pouring it out again. Chronically being irritated and overwhelmed by taking care of everyone else at the expense of yourself is not okay. It’s not sustainable. Or healthy. Or kind for that matter. What is kind, is telling the truth. First to yourself and then to the people in your life that need to hear it.

But Heidi, I have kids. I have to fill their cups. Status quo says, “Be a good mom and do it all.” When they are new and dependent, of course our resources are allocated in a different way. (And we need to do a better job of holding space and supporting mothers and caregivers so they can tend to the babies!) And as they grow and naturally become more independent, the greatest gift we can give them is the knowing that they ARE Source and they have their own wellspring that they get to connect to and cultivate.

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CUE THE BUTS.

Sacred rebellion and boundaries say: “As a leader in my family, I teach connection and values.” In our house contribution is a core value. And so, my kiddos (11,10,7) do not do chores. They contribute. They do their own laundry. Contribute to meal prep and clean up. Tidy their spaces to make room for creativity. (Also a core value.) My definition of parenting is “the transfer of responsibility.” Being able to respond to life and create with it is a gift. I won’t deny them that gift by over-doing and being their sole Source. Their unique well-being and wellness and wellspring is THEIRS. To discover and care for. You go first. Discover and care for yours.

“Take a breath. And let the body lead. I hope you feel connected and safe here.” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 4-MINUTE VIDEO.) 39

Heidi Metro :: FILLING YOUR OWN CUP needs me. Status quo says, “Be a good partner and do it all.” You’re right. Your partner does need you. They need you to connect to yourself so you can get the hell out of their way. GET. OUT. OF THE WAY. You actually don’t have to fix your partner. It’s not your job to make sure they do it the right way. (Meaning your way.) Being critical and micromanaging how our partners contribute to our families is a sign of fear and disconnection. Sacred rebellion and boundaries says: “As I connect fully with myself, I remember that my partner is a whole self too.” My relationship with my partner Mike was in trouble because I was so used to doing it all that I ended up resentful, pissed, and ready to throw in the towel. It wasn’t until I STEPPED BACK and connected with myself first that I was able to show up in a partnership rooted in collaboration and true connection. Want a better relationship with your spouse? You go first. Connect to you.

But my partner

But my clients are used to me offering Saturday sessions. Status quo says, “My clients need me and I have to fit them in, even if I’m overbooked. Or hurting.” How many of these clients are women who are also over-giving? How many of these women are coming back month after month and NOT getting lasting results? How many are complaining of chronic stress without real solutions? Sacred rebellion and boundaries says: “The more connected I am to myself, the clearer I am with what I want and how I work best.” When I made the shift from massage therapist to BodyMind coach, I had many clients who were so upset. They were used to me doing the work for them. They were used to me caring for their bodies.They’d grown accustomed to me giving them all sorts of articles and resources and time that I wasn’t being compensated for. And they still didn’t do the work between sessions. When I owned my coaching role and started charging for it, the clients that transitioned with me have had life-changing results. They show up because they chose themselves! Self-care! And I get to witness and support and guide.

for your clients? You go first.

Demonstrate what it looks like to truly take care of yourself by listening to your body’s inner wisdom that says, “That’s too much and I need to change.” It’s true, change is diﬃcult. Your kids may whine. Your partner may be pissed. Your clients may find another practitioner who will work on weekends at 7pm.

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Want real change

So. Be. It. You can handle the temporary discomfort of change. You can. As you tend to yourself, you will find ways to be okay even when others aren’t. You will be guided and reminded and held in the knowing that you are here for your unfolding. And just so we’re clear, I do believe that for many of us, our unfolding DOES include caring for others, as an EXPRESSION of our connection. It’s through our connection and expression that we create the space for others to step into their fullest expressions of themselves too.

Heidi Metro :: FILLING YOUR OWN CUP

After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. When Heidi isn’t collaborating with clients, you’ll find her with her hubby, three kiddos, and two pooches in their sweet Midwestern town. She loves to hike, build bonfires, and get lost in books.

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HeidiMetro.com Heidi@thenewnextlevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

An invitation to you...

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Remember, you are the gift...

What can you receive today? 43

Laura Wieck :: SELF-CARE, REDEFINED

What is it exactly? How do you practice it? What does it actually mean? Truth be told, I don’t have a self-care ‘routine’. I know, I know… this whole magazine… my whole business... is about redefining self-care! How can I not have a self-care ‘routine’?! Honestly, that is exactly why I want to have this conversation. From what I see on social media and what I hear from my clients, self-care has become another buzzword. It’s become another thing to check off your ‘to do list’. It’s become pictures of perfectly manicured nails, sitting on the beach or on a yoga mat, with a green smoothie, and a self-help book in hand. It’s another item to check off a ‘to do’ list that, for some people, causes more stress than relief. And if we’re really honest about it… ‘self-care,’ as we see it on social media, has become a luxury for primarily upper-middle class, white women that we’re all supposed to compare ourselves to. Yes… I love to drink my bulletproof coffee while journaling about my vision. I enjoy moments of solitude where I feel into my breath and connect to the world around me. I take long walks with my dogs to ground myself. I create spaciousness in my calendar so

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elf-care. It’s been on my mind lately.

I don’t fall into the trap of being ‘busy’. My work is filled with purpose and my mission drives to make an impact in the world. I cook healthy foods and enjoy how they energize my body. The thing is… this isn’t my ‘selfcare routine’. This is my LIFE. Personally, I believe people struggle so much with ‘self-care’ because it is used as a band-aid to cover the true issue that is happening... disconnection. Think about that for a minute. If you need ‘self-care’ to ‘reconnect to yourself/your life,’ then that means your life itself is rooted in disconnection. Is that really the life you want to be living? As we have discussed throughout this issue, true self-care is a radical rebellion. It is having diﬃcult conversations. It is setting boundaries. It is honoring your body and living in tune with nature. True self-care is living a life rooted in connection. And in order to be connected to others — family, friends, colleagues, your community, and the world — you must first live in a state of deep connection within yourself. That means putting yourself at the center of your life, fully honoring your natural gifts, receiving abundantly for who you are, and intentionally creating a lifestyle that supports you.

And if I just hit a nerve... good. If you just got a little uncomfortable... good. If the voice in your head just chimed in and said, “that would be selfish”... good.

That feeling and those beliefs are the very thing you get to address to practice true self-care. Because if you are living in a way where you have to ‘disconnect’ from your life to find yourself again, that means the life you are living is disconnected from its most magical gift — YOU!

Laura Wieck :: SELF-CARE, REDEFINED

Practicing TRUE self care isn’t easy. I get it. I’m a wife, mother, and business owner. No matter what I am doing, there is a part of me that always feels like I am letting someone else down. And in a culture that teaches women to sacrifice themselves and be responsible for everyone else… living connected within myself takes intention and focus (i.e. ‘self-care’). As soon as I disconnect from myself to please others is when I start letting others down. And I’ll let you in on a little secret… What I have learned most in my BodyMind journey is that when I live embodied, connected, and in tune with my wholeness, everyone around me benefits. It’s a paradox. If you want to give abundantly to others it starts with honoring and nurturing your brilliance. In order to live in a state of true self-care, there are so many habits, patterns, beliefs, systems, structures-- both individual and collective-- that need to be broken down. That is why true self-care is a rebellion. It is literally the process by which we break down toxic systems that have been plaguing our culture for centuries. But where do you start? I am a firm believer that, instead of seeking answers, seek better questions. Better questions will expand your world and reveal a deeper layer of what is possible.

Laura Wieck :: SELF-CARE, REDEFINED

What do I get to receive in order to honor myself in this moment? “There is a difference between being selfish and being self-ish. Selfishness is being just focused on you — totally narcissistic. Being self-ish on the other hand, is being able to set good boundaries, focusing on your self-care and yet not making your life a selfish life. A self-ish person fills themself up so they can serve others in greater and greater ways. It means being in your power — being fully yourself.” — Mastin Kipp If we are going to shift our perspective on self-care, we first have to shift the belief that ‘receiving’ is selfish. You were born with a unique set of gifts, talents, and abilities that, when actualized, serve the entire world. When you practice radical self care, and allow yourself to receive for what comes natural to you, this amazing thing happens… others around you receive more and the good in your heart that wants to help others is amplified. And that leads me to the second question...

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That is why I want to leave you with two questions I hope will help you feel your way forward in this journey.

What do others get to receive as I receive? This question changed my life because when I started to live this work for myself, I noticed that my clients started enforcing healthier boundaries… not because I bended my boundaries to help them… but because I enforced my boundaries to honor myself. My relationships started to improve... not because I put on a fake smile and acted polite… but because I was honest and asked for what I needed… which inspired them to do the same. I watched people around me value their natural gifts and talents, raise their rates, ask for the raises… not because I lowered my standards… but because I chose to value myself, my time, and my brilliance.

You are a gift to this world and what the world needs most is to you to honor and value yourself. And THAT is the truest form of self-care you will ever practice.

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Laura Wieck Certified Master Coach and Mentor, Licensed Massage Therapist Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work. After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. She got curious and started to explore all things BodyMind which led her down a path of personal and professional discovery. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life. Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, son, and two well-l oved pups. LauraWieck.com TheNewBodyMind.com FB: LauraWieck IG: @LauraWieck

BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS SEPT/OCT 2020

Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, hustle with grace and tap in to their personal power. FidelForde.com Fidel@FidelForde.com IG: @ﬁdelforde

MELISSA KELLEY BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist BodyMind Coaching Associate Coach Coordinator Melissa is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth and transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. Sacredshe.life

Fidel is a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse to a Navy psychologist and a father of four. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout.

FIDEL FORDE BodyMind Coach Motivational Speaker Massage Therapist Yoga Instructor Retreat Leader

HEIDI METRO BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients. After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. www.heidimetro.com Heidi@TheNewNextLevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

Michelle Rockwood is a fierce and loving Heart-Centered Sales expert for BodyMind Coaching’s 9-month Certification program. She teaches clients the most joyful way to master the sales conversation so they can sell their coaching programs with love, ease and grace. Michelle also runs a program called Sisterhood Rising, it’s designed for badass women ready to reclaim their brilliance. She loves her work and cares deeply for her clients, her family and the world. Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo and her new puppy Ruby. TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD BodyMind Enrollment Coach

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER BodyMind Coach BodyMind Embodied Tech Expert Through her own BodyMind coaching journey, Carly uncovered her knack for helping coaches simplify and streamline their business while bringing their vision and desire to make an impact to life! She helps other coaches and creatives build profitable, aligned businesses by combining smart business tactics with the bodymind connection. When she’s not wearing her coaching hat, she’s hiking the emerald green countryside and enjoying the salty sea air of Galway Ireland, where she lives with her husband Devin. CarlyClarkZimmer.com Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com IG: @carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer BodyMind Coaching and Consulting

BODYMIND LIVING ASSOCIATE COACHES SEPT/OCT 2020

I help heart centered, multitasking women, quiet the noise in their busy lives and become more in tune and grounded with their life’s purpose. I enable them to enjoy a life that is fulfilling and rewarding, without the stress, fear or guilt that they are not doing enough. BodyMind Coaching shined a light on habit patterns that no longer served me. I was able to clearly see how I would become challenged. The most amazing part is that I’m no longer taking baby steps, but amazing, giant steps that still honor my values of integrity, freedom, authenticity, connection, abundance and playfulness.

Liz Hargreaves BodyMind Coach I work with driven, passionate individuals who are ready to unleash their full potential to calibrate their body and soul to their highest level of living. BodyMind has guided me back to myself and to my authentic life path; it has become my way of living, teaching and coaching.

Tanya works with soul-searching women that have a stack of self-help books by their bed but feel like they’re living their lives on autopilot. Her clients know they’re here for a greater purpose… but feel like everyone else’s priorities seem to always get in the way of making that dream happen.

Victoria Carrier BodyMind Coach

If you’ve ever felt like you’re navigating life completely alone and you wish you had a wise, trusted support system to help guide you, advise you, and show you the easiest way forward, Tanya is here to show you how to find that person… within YOURSELF!

Tanya Bodsford BodyMind Coach

Lorine Dolby Hoﬀer BodyMind Associate Coach Big Change Facilitator Massage Therapist I help frustrated, confused parents awaken to your power to ditch outside rules & traditions that don’t work for you and parent from your heart. If you crave strong, loving family relationships, I can help you trust yourself and forge a path that empowers you & your kids through communication and connection. BodyMind Coaching gave me the permission to be me, to love me, to own my gifts, and truly see the beauty and value I bring to myself and everyone else.

I help badass creative womxn who own their own business go from overwhelmed and trapped in the cycle of meeting everyone else’s needs first (including your business!) to feeling grounded, clear, calm, and spacious. Together we create simple systems for success that tap into the rhythms, energies, and cycles of nature. BodyMind Coaching has completely changed my life! In this community, I felt truly heard, supported, and held for the first time in my life. I’ve learned to deeply listen to myself and as a result, I’ve gained trust and confidence in myself and I’ve learned that doing it scared is the way forward.

Dena Ramirez-Halle LMT, ATC/L, FST, SRT BodyMind Coach (2017) Massage Therapist B.S. in Sports Medicine Certified NATA Athletic Trainer Fascial Stretch Therapist Level 3 Medical Structural Relief Therapist I work with dedicated wellness professionals and body workers who feel overwhelmed , burned out, exhausted, unorganized, stuck, and chained to the demands and antiquated systems of doing business design and create freedom, fun and finances that support a life they love and a business that inspires them to show up their best way! BodyMind with Laura Wieck helped me to find the balance in my work and home life with out feeling guilty about it!

BodyMind Coaching has supported my personal journey by teaching me the tools and the skills that guided me to TRUST MYSELF!! I have learned to say no to things that don’t light me up and inspire me AND that when I say no to the things that don’t light me up and inspire me I am actually CREATING SPACE for what does.

Lauren Piro

I help high achieving women step out of “the hustle” and the “I should’s” and guide them to reclaim their power and tune into their intuition so that they can lead a life of financial independence and freedom!!!

Laurie Juszkiewicz Lead Associate Coach BodyMind Community Manager

Jennifer Taylor LMT, CRM I work with heart-centered women who love doing for others, but the constant overgiving has left them feeling lost. My clients know they have a bigger purpose, and I help them learn how to listen to their bodies and discover their intuition so they can start making confident decisions. BodyMind coaching has supported me in so many ways. It has completely transformed every aspect of my life: my relationships, my career, my health, how I view myself, how I move through life everyday. I live authentically and have learned my worth. I have completely transformed my business and I’m in awe of the “work” I get to do.

At BodyMind Living Magazine, we are incredibly grateful for Unsplash.com because of this: “Unsplash grants you an irrevocable, nonexclusive, worldwide copyright license to download, copy, modify, distribute, perform, and use photos from Unsplash for free, including for commercial purposes, without permission from or attributing the photographer or Unsplash. This license does not include the right to compile photos from Unsplash to replicate a similar or competing service.” This is the exact language in their long form license. What is not permitted: “Photos cannot be sold without significant modification. No compiling photos from Unsplash to replicate a similar or competing service.” With the stunning images from photographers around the world who contribute to Unsplash, BodyMind Living Magazine benefits greatly and we would like to honor and thank them. Sergio Souza Doran Erickson Sammie Vasquez David Straight Giannandrea Villa Jen Theodore Manu Schwendener Michelle Bonkosky Jeremy Bishop As well, throughout this issue are gorgeous photographs supplied to us by our Ambassadors. Fidel Forde Melissa Kelley —Maddie Kelley —April Cacciatori Heidi Metro —Debra O. Photography —Nordwood Themes Michelle Rockwood Laura Wieck Carly Clark Zimmer

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IMAGE CREDITS

PUBLISHER Laura Wieck LLC EDITOR Laura Wieck support@LauraWieck.com ART DIRECTION & DESIGN Sandy Bassett sandy@sandybassett.com DISTRIBUTION Subscriptions questions: support@LauraWieck.com To renew or change address: support@LauraWieck.com To subscribe visit LauraWieck.com For additional assistance: support@LauraWieck.com MAILING ADDRESS PO Box 21712 Columbus, OH 43221-0712 Reproduction of editorial or advertising content without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. ©2020 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BodyMind Living Magazine, PO Box 21712, Columbus, OH 43221-0712 SEPT/OCT 2020..............Issue No 1 BodyMind Living Magazine is published 10 times/year by Laura Wieck LLC. Periodicals postage paid at Columbus, Ohio and additional mailing oﬃces.

the redeﬁning self-care issue...what’s next?

Now, what’s shifted for you?

One of our core beliefs in living BodyMind is what a mentor of mine, Philip Shepherd, often says… Feel your way forward. My hope is that through reading these articles and watching these videos, something shifted inside you. Maybe you had an insight, awareness, or breakthrough. Maybe you felt something align within you and you’re still ﬁnding the words to match it. Whatever the case, insight is nothing without action. Taking action is about breathing life into this new energy and making it real. It is about creating movement and literally taking what is inside of you and expanding it in your life. THIS is the moment where you begin to LIVE BodyMind for yourself. And here is how we want to support you… We have created an amazing community for those of you committed to BodyMind Living. This is a space to explore, ask questions, and put one foot in front of the other. Simply click here and request to join the community. Then make sure to introduce yourself when you are in. We look forward to seeing you there! With Love, Laura

MEET YOUR BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS SEPT/OCT 2020 :: RE-DEFINING SELF-CARE

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER PAGE 4

Self-care means I no longer rationalize unaligned decisions.

HEIDI METRO PAGE 32

Self-care requires sacred rebellion and boundaries.

LAURA WIECK PAGE 40

Self-care. What is it, exactly? How do you practice it?

navigatingSELFCARE What does it actually mean?

FIDEL FORDE PAGE 18

It’s not about feeling better, t’s about being better at feelng.

MELISSA KELLEY PAGE 26

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

Self-care is cultivating

PAGE 12

A glass of wine,

the courage to trust yourself, no matter what.

a weekend away or a pint of ice cream are just band-aids.

BODYMIND

redefining S E L F C A R E

redefining S U

C C E S S

BODYMIND ™

ISSUE No 2 : : Redef ining S U C C E S S : : NOVEMBER 2020

The self help revolution... Redeﬁned.

WELCOME .......................................61 THE SECRET OF SUCCESS ..........62 LAURA WIECK

SUCCESSFULLY DISCONNECTED............................68 HEIDI METRO

WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BECOME A BODYMIND COACH .................75 LIMITLESS .......................................76 FIDEL FORDE

CLIMBING THAT MOUNTAIN ...84 MELISSA KELLEY

ONE SENTENCE THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING ............90 MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

BODYMIND INVITATION ............95 REDEFINING SUCCESS ................96 CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

ASSOCIATE COACH DIRECTORY .................................. 102 AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT .... 103 60

AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY .... 104 NAVIGATING ............. BACK COVER

contents 60

Hello amazing one!

Come on inside...

Welcome to the second issue of BodyMind Living Magazine! This issue is a big one because we are diving into the topic of success. I invited our BodyMind Ambassadors to explore the idea of redefining success because success is something that, as human beings, we all crave. Yes — all of us want to be successful. Yet, the definition of success in our culture has turned into one that is often materialistic, narcissistic, and full of things that don’t really make us happy. And then we spend so much of our lives chasing, sacrificing, hustling and grinding towards these external things that don’t bring us the fulfillment we truly desire. By redefining success — what it means, how it shows up in your life, and how you get to achieve it — you finally get to step off the hamster wheel and into a fulfilling life for yourself! Before you dive into this month’s issue, take a moment to notice what shows up around the word ‘success’. What do you feel? What rules were you taught growing up around success? What definition of success have you been playing by, up until now? Is it time to redefine success for yourself? If so, you’re going to love this issue. With love, Laura

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Laura Wieck :: THE SECRET OF SUCCESS

I watched as he pranced across the stage. He looked and sounded like he was the elderly cast member of the Jersey Shore. Like so many of the male speakers at these business conferences, he was dressed in his super-hip and millionaire casual gear-- jeans that hugged all the right places, tight white t-shirt that made his chest pop, fancy sneakers that probably cost more than my whole outfit, and slicked back dark brown hair. He asked the question again, this time even louder, to rev up the audience “Do you want to know the secret to success?!” Even before the words came out of his mouth, I could feel my insides churning. This was not my first business conference, or as I like to say, ‘bro show’, and I had a feeling what was coming next. 62

“Y

ou want to know the secret to success?” The speaker’s bold voice reverberated throughout the auditorium. The thousands of people in attendance leaned in.

“GIVE!” He roared so enthusiastically that his nipples were nearly piercing through is white shirt, “GIVING is the key to success! And if you want to reach your next level, you need to GIVE MORE!”

The room

exploded with applause.

Across the auditorium, I saw eyes light up. And I noticed how the audience — mostly men — started to write feverishly about all the ways they were going to give to get to that next level of success (which made me wonder if this was truly the type of ‘giving’ the speaker intended).

Then I looked even closer…

While the men were engrossed in the message, something was happening with the healers, feelers, empaths, and most of the women in the room. They opened their journals, slumped their shoulders and, with a look of total exhaustion, began to reaﬃrm the very belief that was BLOCKING them from their next level of success — give more. I sat there in disbelief. As women, we are taught from a young age to

I looked at the women in the room and thought about the hundreds of hours of free services and thousands of dollars in discounts we had given… at what point would we finally have given enough to simply receive? And once again, here was this super masculine, millennial-wannabe expert, who represented the epitome of what our culture deems ‘success’ — money, cars, jets, houses, book deals, speaking gigs — who obviously had no problem receiving (as evidenced by the slides on the screen and the story he told about blowing

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sacrifice — to give our gifts freely, to give our time unconditionally, to give our energy openly. At the same time, we try so hard to measure up to this cultural idea of success of striving, hustling and proving.

up a hillside so he could build his lakefront mansion) telling us that we needed to GIVE MORE before we could reach the level of success he had achieved.

I cringed. For this speaker — YES — giving more is a radical, transformational way to reach that next level. He had been told his whole life that it was ok for him to take, to earn, to make money, to strive, to achieve. What I think he was intending to say here is that the key to success is generosity.

Success without generosity is simply greed.

In this video Laura shares a real-life story about the power of receiving and how it gives to everyone around you. (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 7-MINUTE VIDEO.) 63

Laura Wieck :: THE SECRET OF SUCCESS

But I think If we are truly here to redefine success, what would serve all of us is to explore more deeply what it means to be generous.

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If you are reading this magazine, I have a sense that being generous and sharing your gifts is inherent to your idea of success. Yes, we can talk about success as a lifestyle or success as a way of being.

What bothered me so much about this speaker’s presentation is that I think so many people left asking the question, ‘what can I give so I can get what I want’. That is not being generous. That’s being manipulative. On the flip side, so many women left aﬃrming the belief that generosity meant sacrificing more. And at some point, that isn’t generosity either. That’s martyrdom.

I believe all of us are born with natural gifts, talents, and abilities. What might seem ordinary to us, is actually how we contribute to the

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It is human nature to desire success. I believe all of us want to be seen and recognized for being our authentic selves and then share our natural gifts to contribute in a bigger way. It’s a balance of giving and receiving.

world. And this type of contribution is a natural expression of who you are. That’s right… who you are, as you are, naturally gives to the world around you. But so many of us get caught up in this chase for external success that we sacrifice who we are in an attempt to find something outside of ourselves to prove that we are good enough to receive.

6565

Laura Wieck :: THE SECRET OF SUCCESS

For most heartcentered, missiondriven, caring people, your next step to success and giving more is allowing yourself to receive for your gifts. Think of it this way, an oak tree is generous simply because it is. It’s leaves give shade for animals. It’s branches give a home for the birds. It’s nuts give nourishment for the squirrels. Even in its death, an oak tree gives back to the soil. In order for an oak tree to give at its highest level, it must be willing to receive. Receive the nutrients and water from the soil and the sunlight through its leaves. It must be willing to take up space. For me, success is peeling back the layers of who I think I’m supposed to be, so that I can receive for who I truly am, and in doing so, share my gifts generously, without expectation because I am already full, with the world. This type of success is interdependent. This type of success is fulfilling. This type of success is the essence of life itself. 66

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Of course this type of success is stressful and exhausting!

I dream about what might be possible in our world when all of us are living this level of success. ………. About two weeks after that event, it was my turn to be on stage at our BodyMind Coaching LIVE! Event. Before I stepped on the stage to empower our amazing BodyMind Coaches, I surrendered into my breath, came back into my body, and set one simple intention: Receive. Receive the people coming from around the world for the workshop. Receive the energy of what comes forth during our time together. Receive their questions, their hopes, their fears, their desire for something more. Receive their attention and their intention. What happened during those four days was the most magical and successful event I have ever 66 hosted. Why? Because the giving happened automatically and was amplified by every person’s willingness to receive because they were already whole.

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Laura Wieck Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work. After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. She got curious and started to explore all things BodyMind which led her down a path of personal and professional discovery. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life. Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, young son, and two well-loved pups.

Heidi Metro :: SUCCESSFULLY DISCONNECTED

Now before we get too far along, you should also know that I was often told that I thought “too much” and that I was “too sensitive.” Now all that really does to one who thinks a lot is leave them to wonder WHY they think so much, and how to NOT be sensitive, thus perpetuating the “problem.” Anyway, I was a totally successful Catholic. I confessed and felt guilty and loved to read in front of the whole parish during the children’s mass. I sang my heart out in the choir. I was an angel. For real. Like every year in the Christmas program. (Except the one year I was a mouse. Long story for another time.) I had the whole mass memorized and could not WAIT to give my first homily in my very own church.

Until... I remember being in elementary school and telling Sister Mary that 68

hen I was a little girl I wanted to be a priest.

I wanted to be a priest. She smiled and told me that I could of course be a nun, but that girls were not allowed to be priests. Or even altar boys at that time. No further explanation. Just, no. I.was.crushed. I even had my own argument as to why I should be allowed to lead a church. (Wanna hear it? I share it on my blog in case you do.) What a horrible turn of events! I knew I was not going to be a nun. I also knew that I still wanted to guide people to God. The Holy Spirit mattered. Love mattered. I mattered. As a young person I was an overachiever. Hence the church reader, choir singer, aspiring congregation-having Heidi I already referenced. I wanted to be the best at EVERYTHING. Successful. I was an excellent student, a threesport athlete, a member of our select choir and show choir, and even a pageant winner complete with a crown, a successful platform and volunteer schedule, and a hefty dose of body shame. I worked hard. I was driven. I was a perfectionist. I was successful.

And I was

also severely depressed.

In high school I was told that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain and that I would have major 69

Heidi Metro :: SUCCESSFULLY DISCONNECTED

When I think back to that time in my life, I remember sitting in my therapist’s oﬃce and telling him that I actually felt like I was the only one who “gets it.” Faking happiness and fun and doing drugs and drinking can’t be what high school is for, right? Didn’t it make sense that I was sad all the time? Wasn’t I actually the only one paying attention? While I struggled to “feel good,” I also launched myself into taking college courses as a junior and senior in high school, being a member of the National Honor Society, and volunteering in my community all the while having a job and still going to church. And of course being an active member of the youth group.

I now see my overachieving as a form of distraction. A place to try to outrun my feelings of lack and pain and disconnection. It was what I had access to. I honor that version of me. I continue to integrate her. She was working so hard to figure it out.

As I headed off to college I remember feeling like I was going

depression for the rest of my life. I was hospitalized for depression. I was told that medication and therapy would help me cope, but that my brain was not making enough of what it needed and never would. I was told that more than likely my children would also have depression and there was little I could do.

to escape my depression. I had a brand new slate. I was ready. I was eager. I was still a massive overachiever out to prove my worthiness. To prove I was successful. To find happiness. I ended up the President of my dorm, on every single committee, staying up late to plan events and taking on more than a full course load just to prove I could. Along with volunteering and platform work, (ironically, my platform was about depression education and suicide prevention) I was the picture of perfection. But I was also self-medicating with smoking way too much pot and running way too much to stay thin. I confessed to my new therapist that I was seeing on the sly that I didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy yet. Maybe I needed a new medication? A sleeping pill? A new brain?

I ended up dropping out of college. I felt like a complete failure. A total fraud. It was the lowest time in my life. I ended up in the hospital again. 70

Fortunately, my mom stumbled upon a resource that changed my life. It incorporated meditation, nutrition, exercise, and mindfulness as a plan for treating depression. (I am still an advocate for medication if it’s needed. I also know that we can do SO MUCH with the aforementioned tools as well.) Up until that point in my life, nobody had ever made the connection between my body, my brain, and my mind. You mean a

During that time, I re-enrolled in school and studied philosophy. I found out that my “thinking too much” is actually one of my greatest assets. I thrived. I had found “my people.” Oh did we analyze and study and philosophize about it ALL! I was also making better choices about what I was putting in my body and learning that I really did have so much more influence about how I was feeling. After graduation I entered the “real world.” I did what grads do: I found a job, got married, moved away from my college town and pursued happiness. Again.

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cigarette and a Diet Coke are not a healthy breakfast? Running myself ragged wasn’t a good idea? My body and brain are connected? It was revolutionary.

So now I’m in my mid-twenties and I’m lying in bed trying to figure out why I just can’t get up and go to work. It all looked right. I was college-educated with lots of debt, newly married to my best friend, living in a beautiful home, working a “good job” with a company car, benefits, and lots of bonuses. From the outside looking in, I was “successful.”

But I could.not. get.out.of.bed. The feelings were familiar. “Hello darkness my old friend.” Depression. Shame. Irritation. Confusion. Overwhelm. Fear. Anxiety. Dread. Mostly I was just so defeated. Not this. Again.

“Moment by moment alignment is my redeﬁnition of success.” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 9-MINUTE VIDEO)

Heidi Metro :: SUCCESSFULLY DISCONNECTED

I remember at my last “straight job” (that’s what I call jobs where I have to work for someone else) that I asked one of the women if she really liked what she was doing. She said, “Of course not.” She made the most money out of all of us. She seemed happy. I remember confiding in her that what I really wanted was to make a difference and help people. She told me that I needed to make money at my job and volunteer to get that “hit.” Successful people do what they have to do. Happiness and work don’t mix.

Um… eff that! So if you’re keeping track, up until that point, I knew that God/ Source/Love mattered. I knew that what I was thinking about mattered. And I knew that I could NOT just get a job and do what I really wanted as a side gig. I also began to recognize that depression and anxiety showed up when I was supposed to be listening and doing something differently. “BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!?” I prayed/begged/shouted these words as I prepared my resignation from my fifth job in three years. Again, I felt like a complete failure.

And so began 3 years of jumping from job to job trying to find the one that would make me happy. The one where I would FEEL successful and not just look it.

And then, by the grace of all things holy, at an annual family picnic, I was guided to ask the calmest person I knew how she lived such a beautiful life. She was so serene. She always smelled of lavender and cinnamon. Her face was content. She carried herself with grace and JOY! She loved God and I felt so safe in her presence. She was a massage therapist. Within 3 months, I enrolled in massage school (against the better judgment of many of those I loved) and my being “too sensitive” became one of my greatest assets. The connection between the body/mind/brain/soul began to take a clearer shape. My body became a friend of mine. My hands became another way to “see” people. My own discomfort began to reveal myself to myself. There was so much healing. Unfurling. Remembering. I started seeing another therapist as a form of support during my massage program. She was the first therapist to tell me I was healthy. That I was truly aware and that it was appropriate for me to be experiencing life the way I was. It was a relief. And I still wasn’t happy. But for the first time in my life, I disconnected success from happiness. Healthy is my new definition of success. Healthy means I get to be me, as me: A person who thinks and feels deeply. A divine and human being who truly wants you to see the God inside you!

Healthy means that I can react and respond to life with tools and wisdom and receive support from a place of connection. Healthy means I get to align with my purpose. I get to listen to my body and know that it’s for me. I get to honor my beautiful mind and my

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A soul who wants you to have access to your own divine and human wisdom so you get to FEEL your successful nature.

wise brain and align purpose, my values, and my boundaries. I get to evolve and heal and grow and share. I get to receive. And as a BodyMind coach and business owner, I get to share that. As I type this, tears are streaming down my face. I am the healthiest (and most successful) version of me that I’ve ever been. Amen. Welcome to my church. It’s me.

Heidi Metro :: SUCCESSFULLY DISCONNECTED

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HeidiMetro.com Heidi@thenewnextlevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

What is it like to become a BodyMind Coach?

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As a master coach and Licensed Massage Therapist with over 12 years experience, I know there’s a better way to work.

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It’s my mission to give heart-centered therapists like you the tools to serve your clients and help them achieve lasting results, without you burning yourself out in the process.

Fidel Forde :: LIMITLESS

You ever have that feeling that something is off, but you just can’t put your finger on it? It’s like when someone asks how you are doing you smile and say great because you can’t complain, but really there are no words for how you are actually feeling. Yeah, that was me. That night it all became clear. As I sat in stillness, resting my arms on the side of this yellow loungelike executive chair, I closed my eyes, l leaned my head back, and began to drop into my body. Then 76

ne moment changed everything. We had just completed a move across the country and were two months into living in a new house. The house was huge, way bigger than we needed, even for a family of six. It sat on top of a hill with a beautiful view of the scenic bay. On a clear day, you could see the beauty of Mt. Rainier, a large active stratovolcano in the Cascade Range of the Pacific Northwest about 60 miles southeast of Seattle. Life was good, but something was missing.

it happened. I took a huge inhale and an overwhelming feeling erupted from my belly and landed in my chest. It only seemed natural to place my hands on my heart. It was as if my heart had something to say, and my hands became ears. “I feel limited,” my heart whispered. As I explored the feeling it all started to flow. “I feel limited being a military spouse, limited being a black man, limited having to rebuild my business over and over due to multiple relocations for my wife’s career. I feel limited in my connection to the community, limited in my resources, and limited in my ability to create an impact.” At this point I’m a hot mess and tears are running down my face. Yes ladies, men can feel like a hot mess too, but then again I can only speak for myself. Something you pick up about me from the moment you meet me is that I am a natural positive thinker with a great attitude. But I couldn’t think my way through this. I had to feel my way through. For the last several years I have been making the most out of situations out of my control, knowing that there was an opportunity in everything. I’ve read a lot of books, attended countless personal growth conferences, but here in this moment it was as if I was asking myself “how do I feel about it” instead of “what do I think about it,” or the go-to “what are you going to do about it?” I got really curious about this feeling and decided not to judge it

“Where do you feel limited”? I felt, no, l listened. “What do you desire?” I listened, I felt. I desired to be limitless. At that moment I felt a spark ignite within me and I got curious. I sat up taller, my entire being shifted. “Ok, Fidel, if you were limitless what would you do?”

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right or wrong, positive or negative, true or false, just to witness it and feel what I was feeling.

If I was limitless, I would travel more, go on a trip of the month actually. I would lead retreats, be a motivational speaker, I would play more, money would chase me instead of me chasing it, success would be easy, and so on. I didn’t shut down any of the desires, even though they were not practical and seemed improbable. I just received the desire.

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Fidel Forde :: LIMITLESS

CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY FIDEL’S 7-MINUTE VIDEO. 78 78

This became a daily thought. I started taking baby action steps and sharing these aspirations with others. The more I talked, the more expansive the feeling of achieving became possible. By the end of the week, a client booked me for a retreat across the country. I left rainy Seattle and got a taste of sunny Florida, Next thing you know I’m in New Mexico, California and Wisconsin. By the end of the year I ended up going on a trip of the month, supported multiple retreats, became a motivational speaker, and created a location-independent business that allowed me to coach clients around the country. The best part about it was that I got to demonstrate to my kids and clients what is possible when you live bodymind connected and lean into your desires. You see, I thought that life circumstances needed to change in order to live the life that you desire, when the truth is you can live the life you desired with the life that you have. Nothing has to change. I was still a military spouse, had the same responsibility, the same family, the same stressors, and life circumstances, but the difference is I was receiving the desires of my heart. Is this what balance looks like? Hmm.

“Fidel, what is a step you can take toward these desires?”

Let’s fast forward. My kids are a little older now and we’ve moved four more times, including a cross country move, and we are a year post me solo-parenting for a year while my wife was stationed overseas. In the past these circumstances would have triggered my LIMITEDness, but instead, it activated more LIMITLESSness. Fiercely trusting my intuition and feeling my way forward has been the secret to creating sustainable success. What might be possible if success wasn’t something to push for or sacrifice? What if you didn’t have to choose between being a success at work and having a successful home life? If you have a desire for something, that means it’s possible, but you have to listen to it. Surrender to the desire and start with one step. If you were limitless what would you do? What would be your first step? Go and find out how limitless you actually are and show the world what is possible when you feel your way forward. James Allen, and old school philosopher, wrote a book in 1903 called As a Man Thinketh. He said, “Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” So, everything you want you’ll find it inside of you my friend.

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Fidel Forde :: LIMITLESS

Presence

I almost missed the one moment that would change my life forever. As I walked down the steps heading to my oﬃce, my daughter Magnolia was sitting alone four steps away from the bottom. I could hear feet thumping and the sounds of 4 kids playing. On my way down the stairs, without thought, I asked “Magnolia, what’s wrong?” “Nothing,” she replied. I took her word for it. I had the briefcase in hand, a mind racing with ideas I wanted to implement, and I was eager to get to work. You see, all day I was with the kids. Well, it’s been a couple of months since mamma went overseas on military orders... so I was always with the kids. I was behind on work and I carefully planned the day so I could have the evening to finally get some work done. It was because of my crafty planning I felt like I was crushing it as a dad that day. I wasn’t mentally distracted with work, I made homemade oatmeal for breakfast and even made plantains, my specialty. We had a good day and to top it off I coordinated one of their friends to come over to play. Any parent knows that something magical happens when other kids come over to play and they entertain themselves. I was a genius — I laid out snacks, games, and movies — but I couldn’t plan for this defining moment.

Power of

“Okay,” I said. “Let me know if you need anything.” I made it to the bottom of the step and now I’m just four feet away from my oﬃce door, but I could feel it in my heart that something was wrong. Do I ignore the feeling? After all, she did say that she was okay, or do I act on what I’m feeling and put off my work? At this point, I only had about 90 minutes of uninterrupted time before we pack up and head out the door to go roller skating. I put my belongings down in my oﬃce and then sat down in the chair and I said, “Magnolia, come here, sweetie.” She stood in front of me and I dropped down a little bit lower to the ground so we were about eye level. “What’s wrong?” Magnolia has this pretty light brown golden skin and beautiful dark brown eyes that make your heart melt. She can ask anybody for anything and get away with it as she just has this innocence to her. She picks her head up and she looks at me and she says it, “I feel invisible.” Over the years, I’ve learned how to freak out in my own head and not let it show on my face. In other words: pause, take a breath, and feel into how I should respond. I didn’t even have that kind of vocabulary at seven. As I stared into Magnolia’s eyes I could hear the voices of what I would have been told if I said that as a kid.

Fidel Forde :: LIMITLESS

“Tell me more about that.” Uh-huh. “Okay, I understand that you feel that way.” We talked some more and I was able to get to the root of what was really going on. It turned out that there was just a misunderstanding with her siblings and her friend. I provided some perspective and came up with a solution. Shortly after we had that first conversation, I realized I had almost missed that moment. That moment when I knew something was wrong but I felt that urge to go work — that urge to go build my business — because a good man does what a good man is supposed to do and must provide for his family. It made me wonder, how many defining moments have I missed in the pursuit of success? I almost missed this precious moment with my daughter. And that’s when it hit me.

What does it mean to provide?

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“You’re too young to feel invisible. No, you’re not. It’s okay. Just go and play. Brush it off. That’s nonsense.” I heard all those voices in my head, realizing that there were some beliefs or something that was still in me that I’ve heard as I was a kid. I chose to breathe and just get curious.

I thought that in order to be successful, I had to be a provider. I thought success was measured by the size of my bank account and accomplishments. Success was measured by my efforts, work and my doing. And so the harder I work the more results I get, the more successful I become, then the more present I will be. I realized that success had nothing to do with what I do. But success has everything to do with who I get to be. Success has to do with my presence. In that moment with my daughter, I got to provide perspective. Provide patience. Provide understanding. I got to provide comfort and encouragement. I got to provide an example of what it means to be present. Later at my desk, these realizations made me feel like I had just gained the world. While looking over the things I needed to82do I realized that I actually didn’t need to do them. It was busywork. Instead I shifted into my new mindset and became who I needed to be for my clients and the presence I wanted to bring. That week I brought in more business than I did all month.

Fidel Forde is a BodyMind & Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Retreat Leader, Massage Therapist, and International Yoga Instructor — aka a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse of a Navy psychologist and a father of three daughters and one son. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout. He is passionate about this work because in 2011 his world was turned upside down. He lost his corporate executive position, struggled to adapt to the multiple relocations and the lifestyle of a military family, and realized that he had no idea how to manage his stress. That is what drove him to the path of becoming a holistic practitioner. He uncovered the power of thebody-mind connection which allowed him to embody his true purpose and gifts of healing, encouraging and empowering others. Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, and hustle with grace. His location-independent business model allows him to travel and work with clients around the world, in person and virtually. Fidel creates one of a kind embodiment retreats for groups and individuals to kick stress to the curb and tap into their personal power.

To connect with Fidel and fuel your spark check him out at: FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde 83

Melissa Kelley :: CLIMBING THAT MOUNTAIN

Gratitude. Fullness.

Freedom. Vitality.

Oh, girl, I think to myself. How far you have come. Every summer my family and I pack up our camper to adventure 84

t’s summer, late August, as I sip my coffee and prepare for a client session beneath the majestic canopy of forest trees. The air is crisp, fresh and invigorating. My husband is gathering gear for a morning fishing expedition and our daughter and dog are peacefully sleeping, snuggled warm and cozy inside our camper. My heart feels alive, on-purpose and aligned. I breathe into this moment. I let it fill me up.

into the beautiful mountains of NY state. These mountains are my sanctuary. My medicine. They nourish my soul. And although this has been our family ritual for more than a decade of summers, this trip was different. We had been able to book a longer stretch — several weeks — because I was able to take my work with me. We were in the forest with the crystal blue lake just steps away, with hiking paths and mountain trails to explore. I felt a deep sense of contentment, freedom. I reflected back on all the moments, big and small, that got me here. There was a time not too far behind me that I would have been sharing with you a very different story. The past several years had been rough going. Life, work and running a business were a full time hustle. I had been pursuing all the traditional ways to “make it.” Despite my best efforts, success felt like an illusive myth and I felt like a failure. Work hard. Push. Hustle. Achieve. Accomplish. Prove yourself. Be a good mom. Be a good wife. Keep your household running smoothly. Run a successful service based practice that leans completely on you, figure out how to profit after paying your overhead, and someday you’ll feel like you have arrived.

Like Sisyphus, every damn day I pushed a boulder up the mountain, only to lose my foothold and watch it roll back down as soon as I reached the top. During this time I sold myself so many lies. Lies that kept me stuck and pushing that boulder up the mountain far longer than I needed to. I told myself I was bad at business. I decided that there must be something wrong with me, that I must be inherently flawed, not cut out for this gig.

Something had to change.

I started to consider some radical pivots. Like letting go of my massage practice and closing my oﬃce. This led to some deep reflection and coming to terms with some hard truths. It turns out I didn’t actually want anything that I was pushing so hard to build. Which, by the way, is exactly why it wasn’t working. It wasn’t MY vision. It was a vision I adopted because I was following the status quo path to achieve success as a holistic practitioner. When I actually allowed myself the space to tune into my heart,

Struggle had been my unoﬃcial anthem for way too long. Business, finances, and my family’s future seemed to be crumbling before my eyes. With a determined heart, I forged ahead.

I realized that deep down, I had been feeling this misalignment for years. I had slowly been building a virtual coaching practice on the side, and after two years, I began to realize that working with my coaching clients felt so much more aligned than working to maintain a physical practice. I lovingly released my massage clients, referring them to other practitioners. I gave my landlord notice and closed the business that I had been carrying for 15 years. Everyone thought I had lost my mind. Who lets go of something they have been working to build for 15 years? I did. I stayed on the mountain, I just let go of the dead weight. The dream that wasn’t mine. I let go of the stories I had been telling myself. I let go of the belief that I would have to sacrifice what matters most to me in order to “get there.” I let go of the boulder. I got out of the way and let that beast roll down the mountain once and for all. I let my heart lead and I trusted her, even though I was terrified. I released the masculine push-atall-expense mindset and I surrendered to the feminine receptive energy within.

Melissa Kelley :: CLIMBING SELF-CARETHAT IS ANMOUNTAIN INSIDE JOB

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Melissa Kelley :: CLIMBING THAT MOUNTAIN

And so that beautiful August morning, as I sat in the most perfect place in the forest, I felt the fullness of success, on my terms, radiate from my heart. I am grateful for the rebel part of me. I am grateful that she let me lean on her courage as I learned to leap and trust that I would land on my feet. She has taught me that there is a difference between the hustle and drive that comes from your inner fire and the depletion that results from the hard core push of proving and shape shifting to fit the mould. I choose joy, fullness, vitality and a business that supports clients in creating the same, on their terms. Before you commit to climbing that mountain, take the time to make sure it’s actually the one you want to climb.

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I slowed down and gave myself permission for the first time ever to feel into the essence of a vision that was mine. I tapped into my creative spirit and discovered a business model that supported me, my work and my family instead of the other way around.

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Melissa Kelley is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth and transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. Sacredshe.life

Michelle Rockwood :: ONE SENTENCE THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

I had just exited the 405 freeway, braving traﬃc in my commute from LA, where I was attending an LSAT prep class in a large lecture hall downtown. I had spent four years getting ready for law school — I had received the grades, the internships, and the recommendations I would need. Mastering the LSAT was the last step on my to-do list for what I then considered success. I ordered food and opened my giant LSAT prep book. Looking for any way to procrastinate, I began reading the foreword in the front of the book. It began by congratulating me on making this big, brave, and courageous step. I smiled. But the next passage stopped me in my tracks.

sat down for dinner alone at a restaurant in Torrance, California. The restaurant was called “King Shabu Shabu,” and I can still remember that I was facing south and sitting in a red leather booth. The room was filled with the California sunshine, and it was nearly empty, save one couple huddled in the corner.

The author wrote, “Do you want to change the world? Do you want to impact lives and have a positive impact on those around you? If that’s really your goal, you could save $150k, and instead of law school, go join the US Peace Corps.” I instantly felt a rush come through my body from head to toe. Was this a joke? What was this advice doing in an overpriced LSAT prep book? I had always dreamed of joining the Peace Corps; now, after reading this likely sarcastic comment, I could feel in my gut that this was what I had wanted all along. I also realized at that moment that I had never questioned my desire to go to law school. Never really thought about why I was headed in this direction. Never considered if this was what I wanted in my heart, or if it was just something that sounded like “the right thing to do.”

I closed the book, asked for my foodto-go, and knew I was about to make a big change. Within months I was touching down in Mali, the largest country in West Africa and the third poorest country in the world. It’s also one of the most glorious places on planet earth with the friendliest and most inviting people. Looking back, I felt that decision at such a visceral level and knew nothing was going to stand in my way. Obstacle after obstacle presented itself, and I overcame them 91

Michelle Rockwood :: ONE SENTENCE THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Today, I help clients learn to recognize this inner “knowing” and take action from that same embodied place. Sounds crazy, right? What is actually crazy is living a life turned off and “successful” by society’s definition. What’s crazy is saying “yes” to everyone else except that inner voice that says, “there’s

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with a fire I didn’t know I had. This fire burned brighter than at any time during those four years, two majors, multiple internships, and tens of thousands of dollars chasing what I believed to be a success. Attending law school was someone else’s definition of success, not mine. When the decision was right, my body knew it instantly.

more.” We’ve all made this mistake, but it’s never too late. Everything in my head shouted, “go to law school.” But my heart, my essence, my being, pulled me toward the Peace Corps, and no explanation was needed. This two-year stint in West Africa turned out to be life-changing for me, not only because of the impact and experiences I had but because it was there that I met my husband. We now have three amazing little boys and a dog named “Tigo,” which means “peanut” — named after the peanut sauce that is the country’s staple meal.

Today, as a successful BodyMind Coach, my clients come to me and seek support around finding and declaring their definition of success. Like me, they are ready to break free from the rules and regulations that they’ve placed on themselves as a result of stereotypical social norms. Especially today, as we find ourselves redefining everything we’ve ever known, it’s been so inspiring to support clients to find and define

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As I reflect on that moment in the Torrance restaurant, I realize the author of that LSAT book gave me the permission I had not given myself — she allowed me to redefine success on my terms.

success for themselves and equip them with the tools to move boldly forward. I thank God every day that I listened, even then as a 20 something, to my inner knowing, to the woman inside that said hell no to my programmed definition of success and hell yes to the wild woman inside of me that knows success to be a life of grand adventure with the unknown at every turn. A life where I lean into the pain and know that the gift in this struggle will reveal itself. I so wish I could find that LSAT author and thank her. That one line, “why not join the US Peace Corps and save $150k,” changed my life.

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Michelle Rockwood :: ONE SENTENCE THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

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An invitation to you...

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: REDEFINING SUCCESS

A million thoughts started running through my head: What about my oﬃce? My clients? My family and friends? What about the BUSINESS I have been building for years? I’m not ready to go full-time into coaching! Can we do that? What if we did that?! When are we doing this?! A wave of terrifying excitement came over us when we realized we had been making aligned decisions for the past few years based on creating a life that would allow us to take opportunities just like this. And now, it was here. Devin and I have been consciously cultivating an alternative 96

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hat do you think about moving to Ireland?” I literally had to sit down in the closest living room chair. My husband Devin had just arrived home from his 90-minute commute back from New York City, and these were the first words out of his mouth.

definition of what success meant for us from the very start of our relationship. We held off on having kids because we wanted to travel the world. We chose not to buy a home yet because we just never felt the need. Our beloved Russian Blue, Kilgore had passed the year before and we decided not to bring another animal into our lives yet so that we could travel. We had very few expenses, and our passports were updated! Everything felt like it was aligning for this moment. For me, this feels like part of my definition of success — the freedom to be able to make decisions based on your dreams, guided by your values. These decisions are not easy to navigate because we are constantly inundated with what success “should” look like in every single area of our lives. Just look at what is trending on Netflix and your social media feed. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others. Our clothes, our homes, our cars, our businesses, our bank accounts. A lot of this is happening subconsciously which is why it is even more important to redefine what success means for you. Let’s do a little experiment. Take a moment to picture what comes to mind when you think about success… What do you see?

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For me, the immediate image of white men in suits, mansions, fancy people with fancy cars immediately pops into my mind. Even after all these years of personal development and conscious repatterning of my brain, this image still remains. That’s how ingrained it is. And this isn’t at all what makes me feel successful. In fact, the very next question that comes to my mind is, “Are they happy? Do they have a community that loves and supports them? Or is it full of comparison? What is this kind of success costing them? What impact is this having on their children? And the planet?” I’ve worked with enough celebrities and people who seem to have it all on the outside, yet they are miserable, stressed out, lonely and unhappy on the inside. They came to me for a massage to escape from it all for a few peaceful moments during their session but then it was right back to the phone(s) and all of the demands to keep up with their successful lives. As I started pondering what my true definition of success is, the curious fact-finder in me had to check in to see what Grandmother Google had to say. Here’s what I found: Success is achieving positive results, the accomplishment of one’s goals, attainment of wealth, position, and honors.

Carly Clark Zimmer :: REDEFINING SUCCESS

But here’s what I find disturbing and why it is so important for each one of us to redefine success for ourselves.

There is not one word in that definition about love, creativity, connection or joy. What is life without those essential pieces? If we are all by default

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Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to accomplish goals! I am a coach after all, and my Human Design is a Generator. I can work like there is no tomorrow and enjoy it! I love making money because it allows me to support my team, community, causes & businesses that are consciously thinking about more than the bottom line. My version of success allows me to continue to explore my own growth, which seems to have a ripple effect to everyone else around me.

trying to attain traditional success, is that what you really want? The traditional path to accumulating wealth, assets, resources, land, and power at the expense of oppressing marginalized people and believing you have a divine right to do so is the very reason our planet, our people, and our society are literally and figuratively falling apart. This entire ideology is in need of a complete renovation, and it is the farthest thing from how I want success to feel in my body. My definition of success continues to evolve as I do, and right now our move to Ireland does feel like a huge success because it has been a dream of ours to live in another country. Before the pandemic, we were able to share our beautiful apartment overlooking the sea with EIGHT sets of visitors! We have a lovely community of friends and the connection I feel

“Don’t ignore the signals your body is sending you.” VIDEO PLACEHOLDER (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 5-MINUTE VIDEO.) 98

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: REDEFINING SUCCESS

So as I share my definition of what success means to me at this moment, I would love to invite you and give you permission to let your own definition unfold. Success is having the courage to step through the fear of what others might think to follow the big vision that lives within my heart. It’s seeing the bigger picture and taking time to literally smell the roses on my morning run. It’s building loving communities and connecting amazing people to each other. It is experiencing joy in the little moments that make up our lives, and the big milestones that will make up exciting moments to tell our grandchildren. Success is enjoying the path towards your goals even more than reaching them. To me, this is crucial because we’re going to spend a hell of a lot more time on our way to our goals than we are in those moments we arrive at them. That moment is fleeting. It may last a few days, but it is more likely to last only a few hours before our brain starts looking for the next problem to solve or idea to bring to life! Welcome to being a human!

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to this land is like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

This is a RENEWABLE cycle of success that prioritizes love, joy, community and connection. These also happen to be my values. So when you can live in alignment with your values on your way to your dreams, goals and desires, you won’t get so rattled when things don’t turn out the way you envision them. It gives you permission to pivot, to change direction and to choose a different path if your heart is calling you somewhere else. This is the cycle of sustainable success that helps us enjoy our lives while also having big dreams. It’s the path that heals people, and I also think it could help heal the world. And the beautiful thing about redefining success is that when you do, you get to start living the life you want now instead of waiting for the right time, or 100 even worse, retirement. Your version of success is waiting for you my friend. Start redefining it, so you can start living it! Enjoy every step you take along the way instead of waiting until you retire to start living the life you want. Take that first step on your journey right away!

Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com First 5 (https://carlyclarkzimmer.lpages.co/join-first-5/) @carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer FB: The Heart Centered Coach Club IG:

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BODYMIND LIVING ASSOCIATE COACHES OCT 2020

You are invited to set down what’s been swirling around in your head making you constantly question yourself, finally become present in your body and fully engaged with your natural inner source of wisdom. You have all your answers inside of you. I simply oﬀer the sacred space along with tools and support that will bring YOUR brilliance to the surface so you can run with it! What is possible for you? ¤ 102

I empower women to own their birth! I help expectant parents quiet the static in their mind and tune into the wisdom that lies within their heart and gut. They learn to sort through the information overload and make confident decisions for their baby and family that are based on their values and honor their boundaies. Free yourself of #momguilt! Personally, I needed to stop making decisions based on what I felt I “should” do and tune into my own bodymind awareness. I learned how to make decisions from an authentic aligned space that honored everyonemy family, my business, my clients, and ME! And guess what? My business grew and I got to spend more time with my family! I am so blessed to be able to reap what has grown out of that fertile soil. ¥¦¥ ¢§¦ ¨¦¢¢

Michelle Felux, LMT BodyMind Coach I help stressed and anxious people on their cancer journey release anxiety. No matter how much time they have on this Earth, I help them create an impact on others without being self-critical and sacrificing time with family. If you want to feel less alone and not have anxiety, I can help you by holding space for you so that you are seen, heard and understood. I want you to move forward and feel fulfilled and do everything you can in your power to live fully.

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I work with ambitious men and women who are ready to discover how embodiment of their true values brings their personal purpose alive in how they live, work and love.

Kymberlie S. Berrien, LMT Birth & Postpartum Doula

How would it feel to know that no matter what happens you have a place where you can always go to get the best guidance?

Dannielle Arceneaux, LMT BodyMind Coach, RYT-200

BodyMind Coaching has positively impacted every 102 facet of my life! It has enabled me to better navigate personal relationships and my own cancer journey to the point where I am now pivoting my business to help people on their own journeys.

Adriana Morales, LMT BodyMind Coach Adriana started her wellness journey in 2013 by attending massage school and soon found out that helping people connect to their bodies was her passion. She then opened up her own business, Transcend Relaxation, specializing in the emotional aspect of chronic pain. In the pursuit of providing integrative support to her clients, she found the BodyMind Coaching method and now she helps women make positive changes in their lives, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Adriana graduated from California School of Culinary Arts and owned a catering business in California before moving to Texas. She enjoys the simple pleasures in life, a good cup of tea/coﬀee, excellent food and meaningful connections.

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BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: FIDEL FORDE

An interview with Laura Wieck and Fidel Ford...

WHAT DOES BODYMIND LIVING MEAN TO YOU?

“I

’ve known Fidel for five or six years now and this man literally lights up the world with his spark.” —Laura Wieck

“BodyMind Living for me is this place of wholeness and oneness. It’s this place of accepting all of who you are. This includes everything from the thoughts you have, your beliefs, and this curiosity of just owning your body, your mind and your feelings and knowing that what is in you is greater than everything that is around you. It is coming into self to find your clarity, find your questions and feel your way forwards. One of the things I know is when we base our life on things around us, things around us always change. The essence of who we are is the compass and when we are living in a place that is BodyMind and in alignment we literally get to take a step forward and live our life in ways that support our goals and dreams.” —Fidel Forde (14 minute video)

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BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS OCTOBER 2020

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Melissa is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth and transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. Sacredshe.life

FIDEL FORDE BodyMind Coach Motivational Speaker Massage Therapist Yoga Instructor Retreat Leader

MELISSA KELLEY BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist BodyMind Coaching Associate Coach Coordinator

HEIDI METRO BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients. After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by 104 aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. www.heidimetro.com Heidi@TheNewNextLevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo and her new puppy Ruby. TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD BodyMind Enrollment Coach

LAURA WIECK Certified Master Coach & Mentor Licensed Massage Therapist Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living with Laura Wieck™ as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work. After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing and fuller living. Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, son, and two well-loved pups. BodyMindLiving.com TheNewBodyMind.com FB: LauraWieck IG: @BodyMindLiving

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Laura Wieck LLC EDITOR Laura Wieck support@LauraWieck.com ART DIRECTION & DESIGN Sandy Bassett sandy@sandybassett.com DISTRIBUTION Subscriptions questions: support@LauraWieck.com To renew or change address: support@LauraWieck.com To subscribe visit LauraWieck.com For additional assistance: support@LauraWieck.com MAILING ADDRESS PO Box 21712 Columbus, OH 43221-0712 Reproduction of editorial or advertising content without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. ©2020 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BodyMind Living Magazine, PO Box 21712, Columbus, OH 43221-0712 NOV 2020..............Issue No 2 BodyMind Living Magazine is published 10 times/year by Laura Wieck LLC. Periodicals postage paid at Columbus, Ohio and additional mailing oﬃces.

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PUBLISHER

IMAGE CREDITS With the stunning images from photographers around the world who contribute to Unsplash, BodyMind Living Magazine benefits greatly and we would like to honor and thank them. Lucas Dodemm Jessica Sysengrath Tim Umphreys Justin Novello Jaey Young/Geoffrey Kang Dino Reichmuth Omid Armin Eva Darron Zach Callahan Junlentto Photography Damian Patkowski Nick Seagrave Ethan Hoover Nookieff Janice Gill Cristina Gottardi

As well, throughout this issue are gorgeous photographs supplied to us by our Ambassadors. Fidel Forde Melissa Kelley Heidi Metro Michelle Rockwood Laura Wieck Carly Clark Zimmer

the redeﬁning success issue...

Now it’s your turn... My biggest intention with this magazine is to actually take the insights and inspiration you find in these pages and begin to live them in your life. This is, afterall, BodyMind Living Magazine!

So before you close the page and move into your day, take a moment to feel into the following questions: — Prior to reading this month’s issue, how would you have defined ‘success’ in your life? — What insights, a ha’s, and breakthroughs did you have while reading this month’s issue? — Moving forward, how do you want to define success in your life?

As always, the conversation continues in our BodyMind Living Community. If you haven’t yet joined, here is the link to do so. Please share your thoughts and action steps there as we continue to make the world a better place through living BodyMind.

With love, Laura 107

MEET YOUR BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS NOV 2020 :: RE-DEFINING SUCCESS

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER PAGE 38

What about love, creativity, connection or joy?

HEIDI METRO PAGE 10

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a priest.

LAURA WIECK PAGE 4

Success without generosity is

navigatingSUCCESS simply greed.

MELISSA KELLEY PAGE 26

Who lets go of something they have been working to build for 15 years?

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

FIDEL FORDE PAGE 18

PAGE 32

I got really curious about

I knew nothing was

this feeling and decided

going to stand in

not to judge.

my way.

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BODYMIND

redefining S U

109

C C E S S

redefining G

110

BODYMIND ©

I S S U E N o 3 : : Redef ining G R I E F : : D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0

The self help revolution... Redeﬁned.

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WELCOME .................................... 113 SEASONS OF CHANGE ............. 114 MELISSA KELLEY

SANTA CLAUS ISN’T REAL, I WILL DIE, AND GRIEF IS OK . 120 MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BECOME A BODYMIND COACH .............. 125 I DON’T NEED A CASSEROLE, I NEED A WITNESS .................... 126 HEIDI METRO

INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER.. 132 CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

BODYMIND INVITATION ......... 139 GRIEF DOESN’T CHANGE YOU, IT REVEALS YOU ........................ 140 FIDEL FORDE

AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT HEIDI METRO ................................. 147 SHATTERED ................................. 148 LAURA WIECK

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACH DIRECTORY .................. 158 AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY .... 160 NAVIGATING ............. BACK COVER

contents 112

Hello amazing one!

Come on inside...

This month we are re-defining grief. We are intentionally releasing this issue December 2020, because, let’s be honest, it’s been a year. I know there has been a lot of loss of life, relationships, jobs, identity, and with that loss comes grief. Grief has very much been a part of my journey for decades, and grief is such an interesting energy. I think a lot of times in our culture we are put into these rules about what grieving is supposed to look like. What might be possible if you re-define grief in your life? Instead of fighting or compartmentalizing the energy of grief, what might be possible if you were able to dance with the energy of grief? This has been a really powerful experience to explore for myself and our BodyMind Ambassadors this month. Please know the articles this month are truly us — experiencing and processing and looking at these moments in our lives. And how we’ve taken these experiences to re-define grief for ourselves. This isn’t an ending, or an acknowledgment of answers, this is a journey, a conversation, this is meant to be an exploration. As you read through these powerful and moving stories, my hope is that you can start to look at how grief shows up in your life and how that energy might be calling you, awakening you or inviting you to go deeper, to connect and to love. I invite you to find a quiet space, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s connect and explore together. Remember, you are the gift. You are always the gift. And we are in this together. With love, Laura

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Melissa Kelley :: SEASONS OF CHANGE

An infinite loop of creation, completion and the space between. We move along collecting moments, experiences and memories that mark the passage of time. Innately, we seem to understand that life is fluid not static, and that change in its many forms is part of this journey. We accept the progression of shifting seasons. We understand that spring will blossom into summer. With due diligence, devotion and commitment we nurture the seeds we have planted and trust that summer will lead us into autumn. Autumn ushers us into winter, where the fruits of our labor offer us sustenance and nourishment through the dark season until spring arrives again.

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ife is a series of beginnings and endings.

Creation. Germination. Birth. Growth. Culmination. Completion. Death. Decomposition. Regeneration. Rebirth.

Seasons, cycles, phases. The universal rhythm of evolution, revolution and constant change. How do we relate to ourselves within these cycles, when this outer unfolding becomes our inner experience? How do we allow ourselves to feel our way through seasons of change? Not what do we THINK, but instead, how do we FEEL? Change, in any capacity, means that we will find ourselves face to face with uncertainty. Uncertainty means quite simply, “I don’t know.” Sit with that for a moment. Who are you when you “don’t know”? When you don’t know what to expect. You don’t know what comes next. You don’t know where the road ahead will lead you.

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Melissa Kelley :: SEASONS OF CHANGE

These are not questions that we find our way through quickly. They require their own season of introspection and contemplation to process. And the answers must come from within. How do we get there? We must allow ourselves to feel. In the feeling space there will be an emotion that becomes your doorway.

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Where do you stand when your sense of certainty dissolves? When your stability is disrupted and your reality is interrupted?

For me, one of those doorways is grief.

I have come to recognize that at every major transformational juncture in my life, grief, in some form, awaits. Sometimes it’s apparent. I know it immediately. And other times it feels more subtle. Like an undercurrent

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Over the years, I’ve learned to accept grief as a companion to help me navigate the unfamiliar. It has led me to my edges and invited me fully into presence. It has met me in my deepest resistance to change and helped me walk towards my fears.

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pulsing just beneath the surface of my awareness. Whichever shape grief assumes, I have learned to engage it as an interior emotional compass. If I allow it and go willingly, grief will guide me deeper into myself.

I have felt grief rise up, a dense emotional wave, and pull me under in order to lift me up. And then it buoys me. Steadies me and supports me. Holds me while I find my feet, and when I’m ready, my grief encourages me to bravely feel my way forward into a new season. I believe that grief opens up the space to explore our

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Melissa Kelley :: SEASONS OF CHANGE longing. Longing for what was and now isn’t. For what wasn’t and what will never be. It invites us to move through and release the energy of old wounds and heal the scars of our woundedness. To shed what no longer serves and create space for something new. When grief comes to call, it helps us see that accepting change and moving through it is a necessary experience of living. That life is transitory. To be alive means to participate in patterns of creation and completion. Cultivating a fluid relationship with grief can support us all in learning how to meet life with less resistance and more of an open heart.

Melissa Kelley is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth & transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. Sacredshe.life 118118

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Heidi Metro :: I DON’T NEED A CASSEROLE! I NEED A WITNESS!

t was October of 2008. I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t go back. The pain wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t catch my breath. I railed against it. Begged to be told it was almost over. Cried out in fear. I felt out of control. I was taken over by a force that I had never met. My body was not my own. The whole world was wrong. I knew my life would never be the same. There was nothing else to do but surrender. I remember saying, “God got this wrong.” I was broken. Alone. Nobody could do this for me. And then he was here. Earthside. My first son. My Noah.

My life was

altered forever. And there was grief waiting for me.

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After the birth of my first son, I remember telling my sister that there needed to be a statute of limitations before I shared what happened during labor. I remember feeling like I was not prepared for what happened. That the support network in place for watershed events in life felt severely lacking. Yes I took the classes and read the books and did my homework, but transformation has to be felt, not researched. Motherhood is a sacred dimension that has changed how I interact with the world. I’ve always been a sensitive person, meaning I feel things very deeply. I’m incredibly aware of how people feel. I walk into a room and feel it before I see it. After Noah was born, my sensitivity increased 100-fold. I was even more tender to the vibration of the world. I looked at each and every person on the planet as a miracle. I had Noah (and my other two kiddos) at home and I felt so protective of our space. I didn’t want visitors. I wanted the curtains to remain closed. I wanted the temple that had been created by his birth to remain. I wanted to breathe him in and keep him close so the world wouldn’t spoil the magic. I had a hard time communicating my needs because the pace of the world demanded that I “bounce back.” To let other people in. To resume life as though nothing had happened. The world was not sweet enough for him. Healthy enough for him. Kind enough for him. The pure 121

Heidi Metro :: I DON’T NEED A CASSEROLE! I NEED A WITNESS! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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love that coursed through his body didn’t match what the world had to offer and I was overcome with grief. How would I ever let him out into the world? How could I make “them” understand? How was I going to ever leave him? What was I thinking by bringing pure love into an environment that was not worthy of him? I was also in a tremendous amount of physical pain. I was completely different. My body was no longer for me. This new creature demanded every ounce that I had. Even during pregnancy, my body still felt like my own. I was whole. Now my body was split in half. There was pain. And loss. And joy like I had never felt. Explaining how I felt required too much. I was only able to just FEEL. I had no idea how I would ever return to “normal” let alone be a successful business owner. Oh, and you want me to “wife” too. Dear God. Too much. The wide range of emotions after Noah was born was incredibly disorienting for me. I watched other moms with envy. They seemed to take to motherhood effortlessly. I felt clumsy. Messy. Raw. Interrupted.

Birth is a course-changer. As is death. It was February 2012. I was in the hospital with my Grandma Lucy. She had just had a stroke. Her room was quiet. Filled with the buzz of fear from my family and

My life was

altered forever. And there was grief waiting for me. Grief is like a kaleidoscope that changes how you look at life. The light is fractured. Colorful. Surreal. The days and weeks after Lucy died were intense. And severely dissatisfying. Because my grandmother had “had a good long life” I didn’t feel like I could grieve her too loudly because this was how it was “supposed to go.” That’s another article. But it seems that there are varying degrees of what’s allowed in our culture. I wanted to scream and wail and make someone understand. I wanted to be heard. I wanted my

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the scent of lavender from the oils I brought with me. She was dying. Her 92-year old body was shutting down. I knew my life would never be the same. There was nothing left to do but surrender. She was there when I was born. And now it was my turn to be there as she passed. She was my dearest friend. My confidant. The one who KNEW me and LOVED me as me. I massaged her feet. Told her she was so free. Reassured her that we were okay. Wished her love and luck as she left her earthly body. I witnessed her transition to the mystery. It was one of the most joyful experiences of my life. And I was broken.

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Heidi Metro :: I DON’T NEED A CASSEROLE! I NEED A WITNESS!

I wanted someone to sit with me in the reverence of the beauty in which we participate in momentarily. Please don’t require me to “go back to normal.” Please allow me to get to know myself in a new way. Please honor my humanity and my spirit by bearing witness to my transformation. Patiently. Uncomfortably. It was a familiar experience. So much like Noah’s birth. Noah and Lucy’s lives briefly intersected in time and space. Spending time with them both was like being wrapped up in the best of the best of love. She LOVED him. She called him “winsome” and was thoroughly bemused by him. Oh. I just loved it. Love it still.

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loss to be witnessed. I remember thinking: “I don’t need a casserole. I need a witness!” I wanted someone to acknowledge that it was different. That I was different. That our family was never going to be the same. We were fractured.

His birth and her death were momentary passages of time that have altered the rest of my moments.The vibration of grief (and joy) that I still feel is like a colorful piece of silk that is woven into the daily minutiae of my life. At times it gets tugged so hard and I lose my breath. At other times, my lips curl up and happiness leaks out my eyes at my good fortune to be alive and to have known/know them. We are complex beings with language and feelings, and pairing them can be challenging because we are talking about transformation. It’s ineffable. And fundamental. There’s a physiology to grief. A feeling like the bottom has dropped out. A breaking. A reminder that this is temporary and we are LOVE. A visceral recognition of being a part of the fabric of life itself. Grief, joy, and transformation, if you’re willing, reveal you to yourself. Thank God.

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All of these things we say to others suddenly seemed so hollow. To say the honest thing, ‘I see you and I’ll be here’ brings a humanity and vulnerability to grief. (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 7-MINUTE VIDEO.) 124

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Michelle Rockwood :: SANTA CLAUSE ISN’T REAL, I WILL DIE, AND GRI

Many religions have a similar tradition; from Hinduism to Buddhism, prayer beads help us keep count as we are comforted and connected to ourselves, to each other and to some sense of spirit. We collectively concentrate our thoughts on a specific event, tragedy or intention.

There is a power in those beads.

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s a Catholic kid, we used to pray the rosary as a family. When something horrible would happen, we would gather in my parents’ room and pray about it. We would sit for what seemed like hours, repeating the prayer over and over and over again, until our lips went numb and the syllables blended into a chant.

It’s a physical object that creates a tangible shared experience among everyone there in that moment; everyone who is hoping, wondering and grieving. Your feelings are validated as you’re surrounded by love, and even more simply the recognition that you’re all holding onto the same exact bead.

Now that many of these traditions are becoming less and less common, how do we grieve in our “modern” household? What’s our protocol? How do I teach my kids to feel pain, fully and completely — not to run from it, but rather to lean into it? When we are looking for the next step to take, what can we hold onto? I don’t have the perfect answer, but I think it’s pretty important to figure this out. I am preparing my kids to eventually live and survive on their own, as independent adults. From figuring out finances to ordering a pizza and giving proper change, we practice real-life bit by bit, every single day. We don’t, however, practice managing grief, pain, addiction or depression. We push these inevitable realities down the road in service of creating a childhood without pain or worry. I am (by many mothers’ standards) shockingly honest with

IEF IS OKAY

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Michelle Rockwood :: SANTA CLAUSE ISN’T REAL, I WILL DIE, AND GRI

“Mom, I’m pretty sure Santa Claus isn’t real… Is that true?” Without a moment’s hesitation I say “No, he is in fact not real.” Other days, harder questions arise. “Mom, do you think you and Dad will ever get divorced?” I paused at this one for a moment and then responded that yes, in fact 60% of marriages do end in divorce, but I sure hope ours will not. My kid was a little shocked at this but also quite excited because he heard you get two Christmases in these situations. This was a great time for me to tell him that life doesn’t always go as planned, but that he is so capable and smart so when horrible things happen, he can and will eventually thrive. I don’t pretend that I am getting it right. But I think I am onto something here. When you don’t practice life (all of it) with your kids they cannot be prepared to give change to the pizza guy, find their way home when they’re lost, or grieve the loss of you, of a spouse or even simply the loss of a job. In addition to being a mom, I am also a personal coach. When clients first start working with me, I warn them that they will feel a “contraction,” as we call it. They will want to quit and stop 12811

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my children. My husband laughs as we recount our minivan conversations on the way home from school, touching on topics that would make many parents uncomfortable.

IEF IS OKAY

and go right back to doing what they were doing before we met. They will try to avoid the pain and struggle. I stop them and explain that no, they must go through it, not around it, and I invite them to observe each step in the process. The simple act of preparing clients for how they are to feel allows them to celebrate the contraction and understand it is a necessary and vital part of the process. This, in my own way, is what I am doing with my children. I am giving them something to hold onto. It’s going to be bumpy and you will learn hard truths like “no, Santa Clause is not real.” Toys cost money and yes, one day I will die, and nope, I don’t know when and that’s okay. All I have is what comes naturally to me and that’s truth, preparation, and surrender. I will feel it all so deeply, both the pain and the beauty of life. It will never be perfect and we won’t get it right. But I will continue to show up and feel so fully and completely all the bits of this beautiful life. I will also continue to search for the equivalent of a rosary or prayer beads for my kiddos and find the way forward that feels right for me and my family to process grief and loss together. All ideas and thoughtful suggestions are welcome, as it’s through each other that we find traditions, prayers, and mantras that give us something to hold onto as we prepare to let go. 129129

Michelle Rockwood :: SANTA CLAUSE ISN’T REAL...

Michelle Rockwood BodyMind Enrollment Coach Michelle Rockwood is a fierce and loving Heart-Centered Sales expert for BodyMind Coaching’s 9-month Certification program. She teaches clients the most joyful way to master the sales conversation so they can sell their coaching programs with love, ease and grace. Michelle also runs a program called Sisterhood Rising, it’s designed for badass women ready to reclaim their brilliance. She loves her work and cares deeply for her clients, her family and the world. Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world 130 and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo and her new puppy Ruby. You can connect with Michelle at: TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

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What is it like to become a BodyMind Coach?

As a master coach and Licensed Massage Therapist with over 12 years experience, I know there’s a better way to work. How? Because I transformed my heart-centered, hands-on business myself. Not so many years ago, I was where you might be right now: overworked, exhausted and on the brink of burnout.

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At the time I was working as a successful massage therapist. I had great retention rates, clients regularly referred their friends, and consequently, I was always booked solid.

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It’s my mission to give heart-centered therapists like you the tools to serve your clients and help them achieve lasting results, without you burning yourself out in the process.

IS THIS YOU? I knew my clients wouldn’t get lasting results unless I challenged them to address the habits, behavioral patterns, and limiting beliefs that created their stress in the first place and kept them coming back, session after session. The realization that massage could only really treat the symptoms of my clients’ stress and not the cause, led me to incorporate coaching conversations into my sessions. Once my clients realized the connection between their emotional wellbeing and their physical pain, everything changed. Instead of showing up for sessions having ignored all the aftercare advice I gave them the previous week, they actually began to implement it — willingly! I’ve since coached hundreds of clients using BodyMind Coaching, and now I want to show you how you can use this powerful coaching conversation strategy to transform your business and accelerate your clients’ results, too.

Interested in becoming a BodyMind Coach? Click here for more information.

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER

She laid three cards out on the table. One represented the past, one represented the present and one represented the future. The card that was placed in the ‘past’ spot was the Five of Cups. In this particular Tarot deck, the image on the card was a strong-looking white horse with its head hanging in despair. The five cups were at the top of the card radiating white light. Yet the majority of the card had a dark background, almost like a solid wall of dark rain, and this card represented Grief. At first, I was a little confused about why this card was showing up because I had just come from 132

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few years ago I was introduced to Tarot cards while on vacation with friends in Joshua Tree National Park. Early one morning as we were sipping our coffee watching the desert sun rise over the sand-colored rocks, my friend Cat brought out her cards wrapped in a shiny golden scarf. She shuﬄed a few times and had me cut the deck.

a beautiful BodyMind Business retreat in sunny Laguna Beach, California. Now here I was vacationing with friends in one of the most beautiful places in the world! I was literally living my dream life! Yet as I let the imagery sink in, my eyes filled with tears. An unexpected wave of grief came over me. For the past few years, I’d been doing a ton of personal growth work to unlock what was holding me back from working and living in a way that felt fully aligned with who I am and the deep desire I had to contribute to the world on my own terms. I was done tolerating saying yes to things I didn’t want to do just because I was taught to always be nice. I was tired of downplaying the vision I had for my life and my business just because it might make other people feel uncomfortable. And I was especially done with the part of me that carried around everyone else’s energy like a backpack full of heavy school books because that’s what I thought it meant to care for other people.

yet Grief was there asking to be felt.

Grief wanted me to take some time to mourn the woman that was doing the best she could by giving all of her energy out to everyone else and being afraid to shine too brightly. The time had come to say goodbye to her. And to honor her for the strength and willingness that brought her here to this very moment. Later that day as we hiked the Lost Horse Mine trail, I’d occasionally feel warm tears run down my face and mix with the desert dust. I let myself feel everything. It felt like a sacred ritual to help me move

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I was ready to release all of that so that I could move forward...

forward while honoring all parts of myself. Grief has been no stranger to me throughout my life. I’ve felt the enormity of its presence when losing someone I love. I’ve felt the anger and frustration that comes with searching for an explanation, even when there is no explanation to be had. I’ve felt its blindsiding entrance no matter how much time I’ve had to prepare. I’ve witnessed grief make people run away, literally fleeing their life in search of a place where grief will not find them, only to catch up with them when they least expect it. I’ve seen what happens when grief is not given the time and attention it is asking for, and it decides to stick around for decades. Yet just like the light shining above the horse’s head on that Five of Cups Tarot card, I believe Grief is also a window to let grace into our lives if we are courageous enough to open it up and fully feel it.

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER everything that does not matter and it gives us permission to be who we are. It allows us to be fully present within ourselves. Isn’t that what so many people are searching for in the self-help and personal development world? To be present and connected to themselves? Yet when Grief comes to our door we are afraid to open it for fear that we will not be able to handle what comes inside or how long it wants to stay. What might happen if instead of ignoring Grief, we welcome it into our home? What if we listened instead of trying to push it away, or convince it that it has shown up at the wrong house, at the wrong time? What if we invited Grief to stay for a little while, set the table with the nice dishes, and gave it a seat at the dinner table?

What if we even lit some candles and decided to chat for a little while? I have a feeling Grief would share some powerful insights with us and then be on their way.

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Grief can strip away

I wonder what might be different if we allowed ourselves to listen to Grief, not only when we lose the ones we love, but also when there are parts of ourselves, decisions, careers, and even old habits that are asking to be laid to rest so that we can fully step into who we came to this earth to be. Our fast-paced culture has us moving so quickly that it seems we only tolerate its presence for a few days at most, and then it’s back to work and onto the next thing. We have forgotten how important feeling grief is, and how ritual can help us transition from one chapter of our lives onto the next. Even something as simple as allowing yourself to let the tears trickle down your face as you feel your emotions mixing together instead of trying to hide or wipe them quickly away can help you honor the feelings that wish to be fully felt.

The next time Grief comes to your door, give yourself time to pause, listen, feel, ask, express, mourn, and share. It is not to be feared, for it is there to share something powerful with you, if you are willing to listen.

“What if we invited Grief to stay for a little while, set the table with the nice dishes, and gave her a seat at the dinner table?” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 6-MINUTE VIDEO.)

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: INVITING GRIEF TO DINNER

Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com First 5 (https://carlyclarkzimmer.lpages.co/join-first-5/) @carlyclarkzimmer Carly Clark Zimmer FB: The Heart Centered Coach Club IG:

FB:

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An invitation to you...

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£ £

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Fidel Melissa Forde Kelley :: GRIEF :: SELF-CARE DOESN’T ISCHANGE AN INSIDE YOU, JOB IT REVEALS YOU

he person I thought I could be, I can no longer become. The friend I thought would always be there is gone. Even when surrounded by others it feels like I’m the only one.

I smile as if everything is okay, hoping that they can’t see it in my eyes. But the more I do, the more I realize that there is something eating me up on the inside. I just need to keep it together and take another breath, or maybe drink another glass of wine. They say if you have a wound it will heal if you give it enough time. But why do things seem to be getting worse? I’m doing my best to keep it together, but I’m a ticking time bomb that one day soon will burst. I don’t want to harm anyone, and the truth is I’m ashamed. Although I love you I’m going to withdraw because when I’m around you all I feel is blame. I’m far from the person I know I can be, and I’m not who I was. Yeah, I know it’s lame. I’m lost... no I’m disconnected... well, I don’t actually know. I feel it in the pit of my stomach rising up. My chest gets so tight that it becomes hard to breathe and then it clogs my throat. I try to use all the tools I know to get grounded, But I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m drowning.

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Fidel Forde :: GRIEF DOESN’T CHANGE YOU, IT REVEALS YOU

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Bring your mat and ask yourself, ‘What haven’t you given yourself permission to feel?’ “Sometimes all we can do it feel our way through. We need to let it turn and work its way into us. What’s the gift in this?” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE 8.5-MINUTEs VIDEO, INCLUDING A YOGA FLOW FOR CLEARING GRIEF.) 143143

Fidel Forde :: GRIEF DOESN’T CHANGE YOU, IT REVEALS YOU “What’s wrong?” I’ll ask again. If I actually knew I would tell you. Okay, I’m broken, something is wrong with me. Look at me, I’m talking to myself. I’m going crazy. “You’re not crazy. It’s just that you’ve been stuck in your head asking the wrong questions, And now you’re finally listening... to me... your heart.” That feeling you get in the pit of your stomach is a mixture of all the feelings you’ve shoved deep. You can’t breathe at times because you’re drowning in all the emotions and haven’t found your voice to express them. Now that you are listening and I have your attention... You are grieving! You’ve been afraid to feel it because it makes you feel out of control. You’re afraid of what others might think if they see you fall apart. You are afraid that you might not be who you think you are, And you’re not quite sure what will happen next. You think that if you grieve it means you’re weak, but grieving is what makes you strong. Your pain will soon become fuel for passion. You don’t have to get over anything, But the deeper you feel everything the more you will grow through it. You see, you don’t know who you are until you’ve grieved. The person you are trying so hard not to be, Because you don’t think that’s who you are, Is the person you’ve always been, but you haven’t given yourself permission to be. Ok heart, I feel you loud and clear! I’m going to feel everything and redefine what it means to grieve! Sometimes I feel like a failure, so what I’m hearing is that I need to feel it, to release it. Whether I release the failure or grieve my failures, I’ll receive something greater... The life I thought I would have, and the place I thought I would be right now... I’m going to grieve it.

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“Yes, that’s it! You can’t receive the life you already have until you release the one you don’t.” You’ll find in the end that you’ll get the life you desire, the life you choose, But it doesn’t come together until everything falls apart. So let yourself fall apart and find out who you are and what you are capable of. Also, your loved ones who you miss. Know that you never lose anyone, because they become a part of you. To grieve them is to honor them. Grieve them deeply because you will never forget. No avoidance. Only full acceptance. It does not change you. It reveals you!

* this poem was written for the person out there who hasn’t found the words yet. You will! 145145

Fidel Forde :: GRIEF DOESN’T CHANGE YOU, IT REVEALS YOU

Fidel Forde is a BodyMind & Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Retreat Leader, Massage Therapist, and International Yoga Instructor — aka a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse of a Navy psychologist and a father of three daughters and one son. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout. He is passionate about this work because in 2011 his world was turned upside down. He lost his corporate executive position, struggled to adapt to the multiple relocations and the lifestyle of a military family, and realized that he had no idea how to manage his stress. That is what drove him to the path of becoming a holistic practitioner. He uncovered the power of thebody-mind connection which allowed him to embody his true purpose and gifts of healing, encouraging and empowering others. Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, and hustle with grace. His location-independent 146 business model allows him to travel and work with clients around the world, in person and virtually. Fidel creates one of a kind embodiment retreats for groups and individuals to kick stress to the curb and tap into their personal power.

To connect with Fidel and fuel your spark check him out at: FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde 146

BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: HEIDI METRO

An interview with Laura Wieck and Heidi Metro...

WHAT DOES BODYMIND LIVING MEAN TO YOU?

“D

o you have a community where there’s a commitment to living in the best version of yourself and expressing yourself truly as you are? Where is your space to let go of the layers and shine?” —Laura Wieck

“As an entrepreneur — as someone who is creating a company and creating a business — finding community can be more challenging. Having a BodyMind Living lifestyle that you can share with others is very special and unique. BodyMind Living feels very integrated to me. Even in the course of writing in these issues I’m recognizing different seasons of my life where I’ve collected different lessons, ideologies and philosophies… BodyMind Living is the synthesis of all of this. Even when it is the scariest, even when you are unsure, even when it feels like you’re in the dark of the labyrinth, remember that you are coming home to you.” —Heidi Metro (14 minute video)

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Laura Wieck :: SHATTERED

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This can’t be real. I looked over at my dive partner, Doc, a geology professor who always had a good story to share and was never at a loss for words. Except now. By the blank look on his face, I could tell he was in shock too. “I have no idea what to say,” was all Doc could muster. Without a word, we took off our scuba kits and passed them up onto the boat. I climbed out and looked over at the other boats, who were also searching for Jenny and Mark. One by one, the scuba divers emerged. Everyone had the same solemn look on their faces.

y head broke through the surface of the water as I took one last breath from the regulator. I pulled the mask off my face and a mixture of salt water and tears flowed down my cheeks.

I sat on the starboard side of the bow with my feet dangling over the water. As the sun began its descent over the horizon, the shock of what was happening started to wear off and the hope I was so desperately holding onto began to fade. My mind replayed the events of the day over and over on a never-ending loop that would consume my thoughts for years to come… …Waking up to perfectly calm, Caribbean blue water… …Getting my dive gear together… …A shooting pain through my ear… ….Changing my mind and staying back… …Hugging Jenny goodbye… …Watching them get in the boat and drive out through the channel… And now they were missing and presumed dead. Each time the day flashed through my mind, my body tensed up even more. What if I had made a different choice? What if I went with them? The more I tried to rewrite the past, the more my body tensed up. And the more I tensed up, the stronger the emotions built. I looked up in the sky, now a bright pink next to the bright blue water and I prayed, Dear God, please don’t let this be true. Please let Jenny and Mark be ok.

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Laura Wieck :: SHATTERED

I knew they were gone. A week later, my grandfather passed away. A week after that, the guy I was seeing told me he got another girl pregnant.

My world

shattered and

all that was left was grief.

Years later I found myself back on the same beach of that fateful day... I wonder if trees grieve the loss of their leaves? I pondered to myself as I looked up at the palm tree, it’s massive leaves swaying in the breeze. With the gritty sand working it’s way between my toes and the smell of salt air filling my nostrils, I felt my constant companion, grief, begin to rise up in my belly. It had been five years since the accident, but as I stood on the very same beach where I watched Jenny and Mark get on the boat

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Right then, a falling star floated across the horizon.

and drive out the channel, never to be seen again, it all came flooding back in. What happened? Why didn’t I stop them? Where they together? I’d been asking these questions since the moment they went missing. From what we knew, it was likely that they had gone into an underwater cave and gotten lost. I felt the tension tighten around my eyes. For so long, I thought that if I could figure out the answers to these questions that it would magically bring Jenny and Mark back to life.

But all it ever did was bring about more questions. I sat down on the beach with my toes right on the edge so the waves gently rolled over them. I looked up at the night sky, which was now lit up by a blanket and a question I had never asked bubbled up to the surface. I began to pray out loud. God… where they with you the moment they passed? Did they invite you into their hearts as they passed? I pushed and took a deep breath. Where they with you? Tears streamed down my face as I imagined their last breath. The thought of being alone in that final moment rattled me. I couldn’t

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Laura Wieck :: SHATTERED

I don’t know if the voice was in my head or if it was out loud, but there was a clear, audible voice that echoed through me. That’s when God responded,

“Laura, they weren’t alone. I was with them.”

A sense of peace washed over me. I may never know what happened that day, but in my heart, I know that Jenny and Mark weren’t alone because God was with them.

......................... It’s been nearly 18 years since Jenny and Mark went missing. The grief of their loss is still present in my every day life.

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imagine them being in that cave, knowing they were going to die, and being all alone.

As human beings, I think we try so hard to ‘make sense’ of life. We create these images and ideals of what it’s supposed to look like and be like. And when a loss happens — especially a tragic, unexpected loss — that picture shatters. Grief is there to fill the cracks and remind us of the love that still connects us. For the longest time, that grief was so big and overwhelming that I fought it and did everything I could to shove it back down. I watched as people I loved had no idea how to handle me or my grief because the cracks in my life were so big. Now I know to let the grief in. Let it fill the cracks. Dance with it. Create with it. Because underneath the sadness is a deep sense of love, joy and connection. Today, grief reminds me that we are all held by a source greater than ourselves. And that source, whether you call it God, Universe, or Spirit, is love.

Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work. After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Laura Wieck

and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life. Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, young son, and two well-loved pups. 153153

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Anthem by Leonard Cohen

Yeah the wars they will Be fought again The holy dove She will be caught again Bought and sold And bought again The dove is never free

We asked for signs The signs were sent The birth betrayed The marriage spent Yeah the widowhood Of every government Signs for all to see

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The birds they sang At the break of day Start again I heard them say Don’t dwell on what Has passed away Or what is yet to be

I can’t run no more With that lawless crowd While the killers in high places Say their prayers out loud But they’ve summoned, they’ve summoned up A thundercloud And they’re going to hear from me

You can add up the parts You won’t have the sum You can strike up the march There is no drum Every heart, every heart to love will come But like a refugee

Leonard Cohen Anthem lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES DECEMBER 2020

Karyn Claﬂin is a Master BodyMind Coach with a background in massage, meditation, and yoga who helps folks who have big dreams but the stressful demands of daily life keep getting in the way. If that sounds like you, Karyn can help you focus on the right things, so you can free up space and energy to do the work you know you’re here to do! «

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Shana Hartman, LMT BodyMind Master Coach Ph.D., Educator Through her 20+ years of work mastering the power of reﬂection and intention, she discovered that we are our own experts regarding our body and mind if we just learn to listen. In her experience as owner and operator of Synergy Wellness Group LLC, Shana knows this listening is easier said than done, and we aren’t meant to figure out this amazing life (or body) on our own. It takes practice, specific actions, and support. She loves to support strong, independent womxn in becoming better listeners to their internal wisdom to foster a pattern of abundance in their careers and life, leading to uncomplicated, destressed, and empowered living. ¤ ¤

If you’re amazing at taking care of everyone else — but are starting to feel over-committed and like something’s just not quite right in your life — you should meet Karyn!

Karyn Claﬂin BodyMind Coach

Araina Linton BodyMind Master Coach Araina helps overwhelmed women entrepreneurs reduce stress and create the perfect balance between work and life. She is known for a simple step-by-step process that guides women back to their passion to avoid burnout, feel better, have more time, and build their businesses with ease. Finding a balance between work and life is tough. Sometimes despite your ambition, your dreams can feel a bit out of reach, and it can start to cause stress, frustration, and pain. It can be enough to make 158 you want to give up your business. But, there is a better way! If you’re thinking about closing the doors to your business, please reconsider — introduce some healthy habits into your hustle!

If you are ready to align with the abundant reality that has been lovingly awaiting you -- Alina is here to help you explore your intelligent human design, liberate your holistic integrity, and anchor within your Root Chakra, your source of abundant Core Energy! Learn more about Alina and her simple yet powerful programs.

Christina Tauer BodyMind Coach Christine uses BodyMind Coaching, breathwork, and bodywork, combined with her diverse background in holistic health to best guide her clients to find calm in the chaos. She does this by encouraging clients to honor and love themselves and create a self-care practice that becomes a part of their daily routine. Christine is dedicated to helping womxn discover opportunities to break the patterns and habits around stress to feel best in their body and more present in their lives. Christina and her groundbreaking work is featured here.

As the founder of Core Momentum Coaching of Illumify A•nu•mí LLC, she creates a safe space for creative, intuitive, highly sensitive individuals to learn how to harness their time, energy, finances, and core momentum to receive abundance, live authentically, and become tethered within spiritual integrity in all areas of their lives.

Alina McGilloway, LMT BodyMind Coach Wholistic Biz Consultant Licensed Esthetician Creative Entrepreneur

Melissa Grossman BodyMind Coaching Program Coordinator Melissa is an invaluable member of #TeamBodyMind where she manages the ﬂow of the program — supporting everyone with a smile and her expertise. A BodyMind Coaching graduate, Melissa retired from her 17-year massage therapy career and sold her practice after successfully transitioning her hands-on business to virtual coaching. With a passion for minimalism and simplicity, Melissa is living her best life on the Jersey Shore where she works from home helping her clients get their businesses running on auto-pilot.

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BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS OCTOBER 2020

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FIDEL FORDE BodyMind Coach Motivational Speaker Massage Therapist Yoga Instructor Retreat Leader

MELISSA KELLEY BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist BodyMind Coaching Associate Coach Coordinator

HEIDI METRO BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients. After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by 160 aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. www.heidimetro.com Heidi@TheNewNextLevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD BodyMind Enrollment Coach

Laura Wieck LLC EDITOR Laura Wieck support@LauraWieck.com ART DIRECTION & DESIGN Sandy Bassett sandy@sandybassett.com DISTRIBUTION Subscriptions questions: support@LauraWieck.com To renew or change address: support@LauraWieck.com To subscribe visit BodyMindLiving.com For additional assistance: support@LauraWieck.com MAILING ADDRESS PO Box 21712 Columbus, OH 43221-0712 Reproduction of editorial or advertising content without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. ©2020 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BodyMind Living Magazine, PO Box 21712, Columbus, OH 43221-0712 DEC 2020..............Issue No 3 BodyMind Living Magazine is published 10 times/year by Laura Wieck LLC. Periodicals postage paid at Columbus, Ohio and additional mailing oﬃces.

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PUBLISHER

IMAGE CREDITS Delighted to present this amazing art: © Expansion by Paige Bradley www.paigebradley.com

With the stunning images from photographers around the world who contribute to Unsplash, BodyMind Living Magazine benefits greatly and we would like to honor and thank them. Jayden Brand David Ragusa Joshua Hibbert Sandy Millar Freestocks Aaron Burden Jack Sharp JoshuaMeg Jerrar Lily Saffu

Photographs supplied to us by our team and Ambassadors. Fidel Forde Melissa Kelley Heidi Metro Michelle Rockwood Laura Wieck Carly Clark Zimmer

the redeﬁning grief issue...

Now it’s your turn... We hope you enjoyed this issue, and as always the conversation continues over at The BodyMind Living Community.

Please join us and let us know a little bit about what showed up for you. How do you define grief in your life?

Was there an opportunity where grief awakens you? Did grief allow you to deepen your expression of life?

We’re so grateful to have you here. Living BodyMind is about living the brilliance of who you are, and sharing that with the world.

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MEET YOUR BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS DEC 2020 :: RE-DEFINING GRIEF

FIDEL FORDE PAGE 44

MELISSA KELLEY PAGE 4

You think that if you grieve it

I have felt grief rise up

means you're weak, but grieving

and pull me under in order

is what makes you strong.

to lift me up.

LAURA WIECK PAGE 53

“A mixture of salt water and tears ﬂowed down my cheeks.

navigatingG R I E F This can’t be real...”

HEIDI METRO PAGE 26

My life was altered forever. And there was grief waiting for me.

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER PAGE 35

What if we invited Grief to stay for a little while, set the table with the nice dishes, and gave her a seat at the dinner table?

BODYMIND

PAGE 10

I don’t pretend that I am getting it right. But I think I am onto something here.

redefining G

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redefining F R E E D O M

BODYMIND ©

I S S U E N o 4 : : Redef ining FREEDOM : : JANUARY 2021

The self help revolution... Redeﬁned.

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WELCOME .................................... 169 FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST .. 170 FIDEL FORDE

ROPES ........................................... 178 MELISSA KELLEY

THE PARADOX OF FREEDOM..................................... 184 CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE A BODYMIND COACH? ............ 191 FREEDOM FROM WITHIN ....... 192 MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

AN INVITATION TO BODYMIND ................................. 197 EMBODIED FREEDOM ............. 198 LAURA WIECK

AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT CARLY CLARK ZIMMER................... 210 FREEDOM THROUGH BOUNDARIES.............................. 208 HEIDI METRO

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACH DIRECTORY .................. 216 AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY .... 219 NAVIGATING ............. BACK COVER

contents 168

Happy New Year!

I know a new year is always an opportunity to review and reflect and look at how far you’ve come. It’s also a place where we love to review intentions and resolutions and set our gaze moving forward on how we want to show up, what we want to receive, what we want to do and really step into the world we want to create. That’s a typical New Year’s. It’s January 2021. I think all of us are so grateful that 2020 is complete. And I think we are all ready to open up and step into a new chapter. As the ambassadors and I were connecting and talking about what we want to feel into and what we wanted to explore, the topic of freedom came up. Freedom. What is freedom? When thinking about freedom, even before 2020, what was your definition? How have the last 12 months shifted that definition? What is your definition of freedom as you move forward? We come together to write these articles as a way to explore our own lives and our own beliefs and our own biases and unconscious patterns. These articles are often a self-discovery for ourselves. We don’t want to be the magazine that says, ‘Here’s the five things you need to be free.’ Our intention is to ask questions and reflect on what we’ve held to be true that might not actually be serving us. This topic of freedom is so big, especially when we look in the coaching industry, when we look in the personal growth and personal development industries — our industry loves to throw this word freedom all over the place. But honestly, is their definition of freedom true? There’s a lot of concepts around the idea of freedom that can actually be called toxic positivity. I think sometimes when we talk about freedom, we’re doing some spiritual bypass — we’re not truly honoring the grit and the humanness of freedom.

As always, I invite you to step into these pages with an open heart and an open mind and a willingness to explore: What does freedom mean for you? What does freedom mean for us? And especially this year, what gets to shift as you move forward in your life? I can’t wait to hear your thoughts... Remember you’re always welcome to join us in the BodyMind Living Community. With love, Laura 169169

Fidel Forde :: FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST

Do you ever feel like you have to tone it down and keep it together? That if you really said what you were thinking, if you actually did the thing you really wanted to do, that if you allowed yourself to express and embrace all of who you are “unleashed and unhinged,” would it be okay?

It’s scary, right? It is down right vulnerable to put yourself out there. You know when you have an idea to do something, but it seems a little radical? You’re not quite sure if it’s okay and people would think you’re crazy, but it’s something that when you think about doing 170

s this going to be like every other time when I silence the voice inside telling me what I should do next? Or is this the moment I surrender to it, that I listen and obey?

it, it lights you up inside. It’s so crazy that you keep it to yourself, maybe you throw it out there as an idea just to test the waters, but not doing it eats at you. You know what I’m talking about. That’s exactly where I was at for years as I had buried dreams, ideas, and emotions.

I’ve learned over the years that vulnerability leads to freedom. I had a vision eight years ago that I was naked in a garden with only a fig leaf to cover my goods. You know, like the Adam and Eve story — they were once wild, naked, and free, but one day they felt shame, tried to hide from God, and they covered themselves with fig leaves. But in my vision I only have one leaf. It was clear that this vision was a metaphor for how I was living my life. I’d been hiding behind a “leaf,” keeping parts of me hidden in fear of what people might think if they saw the real me. Hiding the real me, along with my hurt and my pain. Covering up my insecurities along with my desires and dreams. I was so angry at this vision because I realized I was trying to be who the world was telling me I should be, and as much as I wanted to be myself I had no idea who that even was. I made a decision at that moment that I was going to remove the leaf from my life.... and I wasn’t 171

Fidel Forde :: FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST

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Fidel Forde :: FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST

In this same vision I was awkwardly walking through a crowd gaining even more attention to myself. I was cold, shivering, and cowering over with my hand covering the parts of me that the world says I shouldn’t expose because it’s wrong.

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going to put it back. I was going to embrace the uncomfortable and boy was it awkward.

Are you

reading between the lines?

So there I was, the only one walking around naked while everyone else was covered.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Crazy vision right? But this is what happened next. Over time I felt more comfortable being uncomfortable. I was able to stand taller with my hands by my side. I even found a bounce in my step. Some stared, some laughed, and some paid me no mind. So I thought, maybe there is nothing to be ashamed of. Just when I was finding my groove, someone ran up to me pointing at the parts of

me I once covered and yelling, ‘I knew it! I knew you looked like this! I knew you were this way.’ (This is the edited version). I looked at where he was pointing and for the first time I realized that everything he was yelling was true. In that moment I accepted myself and said, ‘You are right. I do look like this, I am this way.’

Fidel shares more of his story and demonstrates freedom through interpretive dance. (CLICK THE IMAGE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

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Fidel Forde :: FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST

The same person who pointed then looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Me too.’ They accepted me, and I accepted them. We walked through the crowd naked and unashamed. Others joined too. When you accept all of you, who you are gives others the privilege of doing the same, accepting you and accepting themselves. You want to be free? Well, are you willing to be vulnerable? Are you willing to surrender to yourself and all the parts of yourself that say you need to keep it together? This was my battle cry for freedom. To stop fighting against parts of myself and start living for the parts of myself that make me who I am. Freedom. It’s not just a feeling, it’s a lifestyle and a willingness to surrender to everything you are. Not being less than,

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THIS IS ME. It’s true, these are my insecurities; these are my fears, my scars, my pain — and I don’t have to hide them. To hide them is to deny them, and to deny them is to deny myself. I choose all of me.

or more than, but all that you are every day! This mindset, or body-mind practice, is at the core of my work today and how I show up in the world. My personal freedom journey sparked what I now call ”let it be messy.” It’s an experience where people get to embody what it is truly like to get out of their heads and into their bodies, and to free themselves from the limitations of what life is supposed to be and just live and thrive in what it is! Being all of who you are can be messy.

Is it scary? Yes! Is it vulnerable? Absolutely! It it worth it? Every single time! And after a while it’s not so scary. You’ll never know how free you can be until you make freedom your only option. 176

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Fidel Forde is a BodyMind & Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Retreat Leader, Massage Therapist, and International Yoga Instructor — aka a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse of a Navy psychologist and a father of three daughters and one son. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout. He is passionate about this work because in 2011 his world was turned upside down. He lost his corporate executive position, struggled to adapt to the multiple relocations and the lifestyle of a military family, and realized that he had no idea how to manage his stress. That is what drove him to the path of becoming a holistic practitioner. He uncovered the power of thebody-mind connection which allowed him to embody his true purpose and gifts of healing, encouraging and empowering others. Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, and hustle with grace. His location-independent business model allows him to travel and work with clients around the world, in person and virtually. Fidel creates one of a kind embodiment retreats for groups and individuals to kick stress to the curb and tap into their personal power. What Fidel is most proud about is redefining what it means to dad, to be present, and to let it be messy. To connect with Fidel and fuel your spark check him out at: FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde

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Melissa Kelley :: ROPES

I tilted my head to the side in consternation, as I attempted to assimilate what on earth this man was alluding to. Was he even listening to me? We were a few weeks into a six week coaching agreement, for which I had hired him to help me navigate some extremely challenging circumstances. He came highly recommended, and up to this moment, I had thought that I valued his wise counsel. I had just spent the past 15 minutes sharing my current experience, reveling in my stuckness, and attempting to voice all the reasons I felt constrained. Reading the confused look on my face, he repeated the question.

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“W

hat are your ropes?”

“What are your ropes?” “I’m not following,” I replied. “Could you help me see where we’re going here?” “Mmmm, yes, certainly,” he nodded. He went on to share a story that’s been retold, rewritten and shared in many forms. The essence of each version is the same, although I’m unsure of the origin.

The story is

about elephants. Elephants in captivity. A cruel and horrible practice, indeed. Yet this story, a parable or metaphor of sorts, gave me an entirely different view of what I was grappling with. Let us imagine the stature and spirit of an elephant. They are the largest land animal on the planet. Beautiful, steadfast, intelligent and strong. A fully grown elephant could easily upend or even flatten most any obstacle in its path. How is it then, that such a powerful creature can be held in captivity not in a cage, rather with a simple rope tied around its leg?

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Melissa Kelley :: ROPES

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Melissa Kelley :: ROPES

As the story continues, it is revealed that the reason the elephant does not try to break away is because it has been tied to this rope since it was a baby. Baby elephants, wired with the instinct to roam free, initially fight and struggle to escape. But they aren’t strong enough yet, so despite their determination, they fail.

They fail to break free.

Eventually they become complacent, even apathetic. The baby elephants accept the ties that bind and grow into adults conditioned to believe they are powerless. They spend the whole of their lives in captivity lacking the awareness they have a choice. If only they knew what was possible. Because if they decided to do so, they could easily break away. Hence the question: “What are your ropes?” Meaning, what are the conditioned beliefs keeping you bound to the thing you wish to be free from?

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A large adult elephant, bound simply by a rope around its leg. My mind struggled to accept this could be possible.

It has been over 20 years since this question was posed to me, and I have come back to it again and again. In reflection, I can now see it was this conversation that first inspired me to open up space to define and explore my relationship with freedom. I began to understand there is a paradox to freedom; that in order to even desire freedom, one must first be awake to the restlessness and discontent of feeling bound, constrained. And that to fully embody freedom, one must first have fully embodied the absence of it. This story and these questions have served as reference points for me whenever I feel at the effect of my circumstances. It’s a reminder to pause, take a breath and step back. When I ask myself, “What are your ropes?”, it’s like a pattern interrupt. I step outside my stuckness and my constraints and I begin to see a bigger picture. My perspective shifts and I am able to feel into some deeper questions. 182

Where DO I have choice? What CAN I change? What CAN I set down or let go of? Every time I practice this, I feel space begin to open up. Inside that space, I find autonomy, the ability to choose. And when I have a choice, I feel free.

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Melissa Kelley is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth & transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. Sacredshe.life

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: THE PARADOX OF FREEDOM

Nine times out of 10, freedom shows up on the list. This word can mean so many different things to people. What I find interesting is that feeling free requires boundaries and routine. Freedom and routine? They sound like opposites, don’t they? How can we desire both at the same time?

Herein lies

the paradox of freedom. 184

ne of the first things I do with clients is have them explore their values. This helps us use them as a lens through which they will make aligned decisions.

If you’ve ever felt this push-pull of wanting to go for it and choosing to play it safe, the good news is you’re human. We are hardwired to take the safe route because it’s ingrained in our DNA as a key survival instinct. Yet, in most parts of the world, our basic needs are covered giving us the capacity to dream. We may even have the opportunity to break free from whatever is making us feel constrained. Yet, when given the choice, we often choose the familiarity of our comfort zone over the endless possibilities that await us if we step outside. The key to feeling free for me is routine. When I decide, I feel free. No more angst living in indecision. Six years ago I decided I would meditate every day. I’ve stuck to it but not without having to enforce fierce boundaries to carve out the time. The email can wait, and so can the laundry. Four years ago I decided that I would be a coach and have a virtual business! I knew that meant discipline, commitment and consistency to show up for my dreams. It’s paid off! I’m free to call the shots, free to choose the direction we are going, and free to be myself every single day. A few weeks ago I decided I would be one of the crazy locals here in Galway and go swimming in the

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: THE PARADOX OF FREEDOM

cold water everyday. I made the decision, and now when I get out I feel like I have stepped out of my comfort zone and conquered my fear! I feel free!

Freedom comes from the decision. Too many choices leads to chaos, ungroundedness and decision fatigue. Like a child with too many options of toys to play with, or a menu with 400 items to choose from, we can easily become overwhelmed. More choices makes it increasingly diﬃcult to make a decision. A few years back I was running into Whole Foods to grab some chocolate bars to put in the welcome bags at a retreat I was hosting. I thought it would take me 15 minutes. 45 minutes later I stood there, eyes glazed looking at the 45 different kinds of chocolate bars.

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Fairtrade, eco-friendly, milk, white, dark, extra dark, with nuts, without nuts, sugar-free, cane sugar, and the list went on and on! So many choices for a simple chocolate bar. I left feeling drained. On the flip side think of a restaurant that has a single-page menu and three different entrees. The choice becomes simple, and freedom felt. Freedom can also be felt with a break in routine! Like deciding to take a different road home or simply to not set the alarm clock and sleep in! But you see, a decision has still been made! For me, freedom lies somewhere in this dance between routine and spontaneity.

It looks something like this... Sleeping in, and waking up early. The cold sea and a steaming hot bath. Saving and treating myself for no reason. Exercising, and staying cozy on the couch watching the storm blow across the bay. Eating clean and chocolate cake. Saving for retirement and taking mini retirements now. Being prolific in my work and taking time off.

It is having compassion for where you are in any given moment. It’s making decisions that are in alignment with your own values and definitions. It’s having routine and giving yourself permission to change it up. Sometimes your choice will be brave and sometimes your choice may be ordinary. And they can both make you feel free!

Letting people find their own way and providing guidance. Leading and stepping back. Compassion and anger. Community and solitude. Travel and coming home. Structure and spontaneity. Creativity and repurposing. Water and wine.

“Herein lies the paradox of freedom...” (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

Expression and privacy. Adventure and security.

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: THE PARADOX OF FREEDOM

Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com First 5 (https://carlyclarkzimmer.lpages.co/join-first-5/) @carlyclarkzimmer Carly Clark Zimmer FB: The Heart Centered Coach Club IG:

FB:

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What is it like to become a BodyMind Coach?

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At the time I was working as a successful massage therapist. I had great retention rates, clients regularly referred their friends, and consequently, I was always booked solid.

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It’s my mission to give heart-centered therapists like you the tools to serve your clients and help them achieve lasting results, without you burning yourself out in the process.

Interested in becoming a BodyMind Coach? Click here for more information.

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Michelle Rockwood :: FREEDOM FROM WITHIN

They torture themselves with these thoughts on replay, unable to quiet their thoughts with no tools to silence them; no training on how to talk to themselves. I know this is happening because I’m that woman, one of these women who has spent hours thinking about what others will think.

In truth, I’ve

spent a lifetime. 192

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have a picture in my mind of women lying awake at night replaying events of their life over and over, like a broken VHS tape that won’t stop. These women are thinking about a comment on Facebook, a snide remark from their mother-in-law, or a boss that made them feel miserable.

I worry what the neighbors will think of me when my dog gets out or my toddler escapes naked down the street. I ruminate for hours over a conversation I’ve had with one of my three brothers. Their words can bring me to tears for days, unable to think of much else besides our conversation that sits like a weight on my knotted chest.

I was never taught how to talk to myself and to quiet the voices in my head. 192 One can get on through life like this, but only until bigger events come into play like marriage and kids or a personal business endeavor. When you can’t sort out your thoughts, to decide which ones to keep and which ones to toss, it can all become too much.

Your insides come spilling out in the form of yelling, snide comments, or an inability to see another person’s perspective. My husband and I were feeling it; we screamed, we said horrible things, and I lied awake at night. From yoga to marriage counseling, date nights to meditation and mantras, we tried it all. All fixes worked temporarily, and all had their place. However, internally I was still swirling, my thoughts like that broken VHS playing into the night. I wasn’t free. Through several serendipitous events, BodyMind Coaching crept

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My inability to communicate internally started to affect those around me — mainly my spouse. You can never hide how you’re feeling inside to anyone, not a telemarketer, not a Starbucks barista, no one. Everyone feels it; everyone sees it.

into my life. A shift... a freedom inside started to wiggle loose. Slowly, those painful thoughts and conversations on repeat began to soften, and when they did creep up, I knew to expect them. Instead of meeting them with disdain and hate, I wrapped them in love. It was a weird concept to wrap a painful thought in love and ask myself, “What is the gift in this?” This is a common coaching question asked by Laura Wieck, the founder of BodyMind Coaching. As a result, these ways of thinking and speaking are common, celebrated, and shared. It was as if I had landed in a place I never knew I always wanted. It felt like home. I was learning how to rewire my thoughts and find my internal freedom. As a kid, I was taught how to present myself, look an adult in the eye, and how and where to stand. I was taught how to talk to a boss,

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Michelle Rockwood :: FREEDOM FROM WITHIN

how to interview well, how to sell, and how to smile. My community even taught me how to talk to God! But never did anyone teach me how to talk to myself — and it’s about time I learned.

Guess what

happened when I did my “work?”

When I stepped into and received coaching and started to find tools, real actionable tools began to help me break out of my comfort zone and make different choices. It happened slowly at first, then quickly my spouse followed my lead. The anger softened, and the pain and stress we both felt began to melt away. In its place, we found a new way of being — a softer, more understanding way to be together. At nearly 40 years of age,10+ years into a marriage with three kids, a mortgage, and a dog, I was finally learning how to talk to myself, and I was starting to taste freedom from within. Until now, I hadn’t credited my coaches with this transformation…

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and THAT is the brilliance of coaching. The client, not the coach, gets all the credit (and rightfully so). I did the work and I showed up for myself, for that child inside of me that never learned how to quiet the voices, the fear, and the judgment.

And I was set free. Today I have the privilege of doing what my coaches did for me, and I help others learn to talk differently to themselves, to find a softening within. Freedom means different things to everyone — from leaving a relationship that isn’t working to having a tough conversation with a boss. It might mean at age 50 changing careers and finally stepping into your life’s work, as scary as that can be. No matter where you are on your journey, I hope you find your way, your taste of freedom. I hope that when you go to bed, you can close your eyes and fall asleep quickly, wrapping each judgment for yourself in love and speaking with kindness to the amazing human being that you are.

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Michelle Rockwood :: FREEDOM FROM WITHIN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Michelle and her husband talk about how BodyMind Living has changed their professional lives, and their relationship. (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

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An invitation to you...

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Laura Melissa Wieck Kelley :: EMBODIED :: SELF-CARE FREEDOM IS AN INSIDE JOB

In that moment, I knew that one day I would adopt a child. I said a prayer and let it go. In September of 2019, James Harley Wieck came into this world and right into my arms. His black skin to my white skin, his precious newborn heart to my longing heart… I looked into his eyes and knew that he was my son and I was his mother. God had heard my nearly twenty year old prayer and moved heaven and earth to bring him into my arms and into our home.

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hen I was 22 years old, I sat on the dock at the Fresh Creek Marina on Andros Island, Bahamas, looked up to the night sky and watched a shooting star fall across the horizon.

My husband and I took classes to prepare for the adoption. We read books, we connected with other families who had been through similar situations. We knew that an interracial adoption would challenge our beliefs, open our eyes, and give us a new perspective on life. I understood on a surface level that there would be diﬃcult conversations, awkward looks from strangers, inappropriate comments from loved ones and people who have no right to say anything. But if I’m really honest, I thought that we would learn as James grew and ease into it.

I thought we

had more time. In May of 2020, the world watched in despair as George Floyd, another black man in a line of way too many black and brown skinned people, was killed at the hands of the police in broad daylight. The pain, sadness and anger the black community has been enduring for generations burst through mainstream media on a level that was frankly long overdue.

The world erupted in protest.

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Laura Wieck :: EMBODIED FREEDOM

I have not watched the video of George Floyd’s murder. A black man calling out for his mother was no longer out of bounds for my reality. I no longer had the privilege to feel my heart break over the tragic loss of another marginalized person and then go back into my day and put it to the side. All the time I thought I had, came crashing down. This was real. This is my life. This was NOW. Fuck. I had nightmares of James getting pulled over when he was older. I worried constantly about how some people in this world might see his beautiful ebony skin as a threat. I feared for his safety and wanted nothing more than to hold him tighter and tighter to protect him from a world that was in need of healing. Between the fears was the realization that what I was experiencing was nothing compared to what the Black community has been experiencing for generations. Before I continue, I want to speak to every Black, Indigenous, Person

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My Instagram newsfeed went from quote cards on positivity to articles, images, and black boxes that showed me how incredibly naive I had been. I watched videos of parents teaching their FOUR year old black children what to do if they were stopped by the police. I easily saw James’ sweet, innocent face on that screen and bawled.

Of Color reading this article. I know that my white privilege is oozing out through these words. My experience this past year is nothing compared to generations of pain and struggle you, your families, your communities, and your ancestors have endured. I am sorry that my ignorance and negligence perpetuated a system rooted in white supremacy… a system that I have benefitted from in so many areas of my life. I am nowhere close to getting this right and I am aware that there is so much within these pages that I can improve upon. Please hold me accountable. I am committed to doiing my work and continuing to peel back the layers of my bias. In the midst of all of this, a coach friend of mine, who seemed to be oblivious to current world affairs, posted a beautifully branded quote card on Instagram that said:

Freedom is the power to choose. If it had been a week prior, it would have blended into all the other mindset quotes that line up in my 200 newsfeed because the AI algorithm has obviously put me in the ‘personal growth addict’ category. I probably would have tapped my finger twice to give it a little heart and gone on with my day.

But on this day in this moment, I paused.

Where was

his freedom? Then I thought about other common phrases the coaching industry likes to toss around when it comes to the idea of ‘Freedom’. “Freedom is a mindset,” and “Freedom is a feeling” are common sentiments that, if I’m really being honest, I have said myself. And while there is definitely some truth to these statements, I wonder about people who have never had the privilege of choice in their life or people who have never fully felt safe within their own skin and therefore don’t have the luxury to feel free within themselves. There is a ‘toxic positivity’ to the freedom that is often spewed throughout the coaching industry that is combined with a ‘don’t talk about race’ unspoken rule. But if we are truly in this line of work to help people live their best lives, we are doing a disservice to all of us if we don’t start talking about the real issues that affect all of us — including inequality and racism.

Something felt off about the sentiment. It felt gross. It felt dismissive to all the other posts on my newsfeed that literally showed how a man’s freedom and life was stripped (ripped?) from him because of the color of his skin. Where was his choice?

Culturally, we are taught that freedom is achieved. And you achieve that freedom through rugged individualism so that you can gain your independence. If you’ve achieved a level of freedom, chances are, it’s not enough and so the endless search never ceases. If you haven’t achieved it, you’re told that you haven’t worked hard enough. WTF?! Keep in mind that to ‘achieve’ something means to rise above it. To be supreme over something or someone. When you operate from this definition of freedom, what you may not consciously realize is that for you to ‘rise above’ means that someone, or something, has to fall below. Your need to be superior or above, perpetuates a reality for those who have been pushed down in the process. And don’t get me started on all the materialistic ‘freedom’ that gets thrown in our faces on social media…

I took a deep breath and centered back into my body. You know those moments in life when your entire perspective changes? When you see something so clearly, you can’t go and unsee it?

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Laura Wieck :: EMBODIED FREEDOM

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Laura Wieck :: EMBODIED FREEDOM

As the list grew longer in my mind, a sweet coo came through the monitor. James was waking up from his nap. The afternoon light peeked through the edges of his curtains, softly dancing on the edge of his crib. Now fully awake, I walked towards the edge of the crib to see his big, brown eyes staring right

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The lens I had seen my life through got so clear. I started to think about choices I had been afforded in my life, not because of freedom, but because of my privilege. There are so many things in my day-today life that are easier because I am a white woman.

at me. A smile widened across his face. He was happy to see me. He reached out his arms to meet mine and I scooped him up. His little body melted into my embrace while he gently placed his head on my shoulder. Present. Surrendered. Held. Whole.

Tears started rolling down my face as I realized that, in that moment, he embodied the freedom the world longed for.

nearly every single client I have worked with has desired the same thing — Freedom. Freedom from stress. Freedom from pain. Financial freedom. Time freedom. Emotional freedom. Freedom to be who they are.

Our souls desire freedom. Every single one of us!

So we go off on this journey to find our freedom and we unintentionally get caught up in these fucked up ideals around freedom — individualism, achievement, money, materialism, winning. It’s time we stop treading water and get honest. We’re swirling on a quest for individualized freedom that is literally destroying our lives, communities, and the planet! What if the freedom we all seek can only be achieved TOGETHER?

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I’ve been a coach since 2008 and

When it comes to redefining freedom, I have more questions than I have answers. But this is a conversation I think we all need to start having. What does freedom mean? How do we honor our soul’s desire for freedom while honoring each other? What would freedom that is rooted in connection look like and feel like? It is January, 2021. If you are reading this, you just lived through the most challenging year of our lifetime. I believe 2020 was here to WAKE US UP. To show us that our toxic desire for ‘freedom,’ the one based in achievement individuality is actually the source of our pain. It is time for our definition of ‘freedom’ to change. What if the freedom that calls all of us can only be experienced, felt, and embodied when every BODY is free? What if true freedom is a collective freedom? That is a world I would love to see. If not for me, then for my son.

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Laura Wieck :: EMBODIED FREEDOM

Laura Wieck Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic 206 work. practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life. Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, young son, and two well-loved pups. 206

AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

An interview with Laura Wieck and Carly Clark Zimmer...

WHAT DOES BODYMIND LIVING MEAN TO YOU?

“W

hat does if feel like when you are living BodyMind?” —Laura Wieck

“There’s a deep sense of knowing that I can take the next step. And the next step. Yes, some of the voices are scary because it’s all unknown. It’s all unknown, none of us know what’s going to happen. Yet my intuition is always calm and telling me what the next step forward is, even in the midst of excitement. This means I can take the excitement I feel from new expansive ideas, bring in that calming intuition and even the gremlins. Often the gremlins are pointing me in the direction I need to go. Sometimes that can be scary, but then intution is there to calm me and ground me into that next step.” —Carly Clark Zimmer 18 minute interview. (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

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Heidi Metro :: FREEDOM THROUGH BOUNDARIES

ne of the CORE Pillars of The NEW Next Level is boundaries. Now remember, the NEW Next Level absolutely includes taking your health and wealth to new heights. First, we go deeper and more connected to your soul purpose, values, and boundaries. That way you’re building on intentional ground. You’re completely supported and grounded in your inner knowing and then growing and reaching from a place of wholeness. The process repeats like a gorgeous cycle of seasons. Amen. We GET to go NEW Next Level over and over again. And sometimes at first that NEW next level can feel like a prison. Tight. Full of constraints. Irritating. Isolating. Dark. Anything BUT free. I experience the physiology of freedom as a deep breath.

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Spaciousness in my chest. A relaxed mind. An openness and curiosity towards uncertainty. And a rhythm of being in flow. When I interview new clients to go NEW next level, we talk extensively about values. Most of the womxn that I work with talk about freedom being a core value. They desire to be at choice about how they work. They want location independence. They want to be at choice about who they work with. They want to feel free and expansive and able to do what they want, when they want, with the confidence to prioritize themselves. They want travel and adventure and also quiet moments of solitude and connection to nature. Gosh I absolutely work with the coolest people! I teach them that the way to freedom is paradoxically through boundaries. Boundaries applied to the body, mind, soul, and systems.

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Heidi Metro :: FREEDOM THROUGH BOUNDARIES

BODY Freedom within the body, in my opinion, is being in communion with this incredible gift that you’ve received. Truly. We are miracles! Our bodies are made up of intricate systems and magic and electricity and stardust! We are incredible beings! I’ve spent a lot of time at war with my body. Ugh. Comparing. Critiquing. Allowing it to be critiqued. Abusing it with alcohol, drugs, nicotine, sugar. Measuring it, starving it, weighing it and disapproving of it. Now, at the gorgeous age of 41, after being pregnant and giving birth 3 times, after nursing and pushing my body to the absolute limit of what I thought was possible, I revere this body. I am beautiful. Strong. Capable. Fierce. I am soft and tender. I am strong and flexible. I am my very best friend. I feed my body to nourish myself. I rest. I receive. I prioritize this incredible gift because I love my body. And boundaries help me experience this freedom. I am intentional with what I eat, how I move, how I stretch. I listen to myself. How can you revere your body with boundaries?

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Heidi Metro :: FREEDOM THROUGH BOUNDARIES Freedom within your mind is about being incredibly intentional and conscious about what you consume, much like your body. This too requires boundaries. What are you reading? Who are you following on social media? What are your sources of information? Who are you surrounding yourself with? What thoughts are you allowing to continue? As a kid my mind was my safest place. My imagination was wild! I made up stories and songs and movies and all the world (meaning my little town) was my playground. As I grew up, as I disconnected from myself, my mind became a war zone. Depression and anxiety and a sense of loneliness ensued and all I wanted to do was shut my brain off and quiet my mind from the barrage of anxious thoughts. I now recognize that when I am eating well, moving my body, prioritizing sleep and connection, my mind is a calmer place. It has that child-like quality of curiosity. When the disconnected and doomsday thoughts show up, I have more tools to remember that my mind is fluid and I can influence how I’m thinking by what I’m allowing. This requires intention, and yes, boundaries. Freedom in my mind means that I am not a prisoner to thoughts that bind me. I am at choice about the garden that is planted in my gorgeous mind. That is mental freedom. Where can you tighten up your boundaries to create more space in your mind? 212

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MIND

SOUL Soulful freedom is about boundaries, but in reverse. When we remember that we are always and forever interconnected with the divine essence of this universe, we can allow ourselves to rest in the suspension of this dimension and be more at ease with flow. With change. With uncertainty. With seasons. The more I surrender to the mystery, the more I allow the divine to work through me with less limitation. With less resistance. That is freedom of the spirit in my life. Knowing that I am held. I am supported. I am a part of the mystery and there is so much that I will never know. I am more okay with that than I’ve ever been. I am a part of God. I am interwoven. I am God expressed. There is freedom in not knowing. On a scale of 1 to 10, how okay are you in not knowing? How connected do you feel to the mystery?

I am a very high systems person on the Kolbe A Index. I think in lists. I love acronyms. Alliteration. Anything that helps me streamline because this flow allows me to experience my values and express my purpose. That requires sacred boundaries in my habits. Or Systems with Soul, if you will. Being at choice means that I limit my decision making to, oh-so-ironically, experience spaciousness. Decision fatigue is the enemy of freedom. I have a system for just about everything: Health, food, money, cleaning, business, personal development. You name it. Now don’t get me wrong. I like to have choices. It’s just that when my systems line up with purpose, values, and boundaries, I hit a sweet spot where I feel connected and in flow. Where could you benefit from a new System with Soul?

SYSTEMS

THE RISK YOU’LL TAKE Knowing your boundaries and maintaining them are two different muscles. Be aware that while boundaries of body, mind, soul, and systems create spaciousness for you, it can mean that others will be disappointed. You may be misunderstood. It may feel like you’re standing still when others are running anxious circles around you trying to get you to change back.

That is freedom. Being okay when it’s not okay. Being uncomfortable and witnessing it without needing to fix it.

That is freedom. Knowing and embodying the complexity and simplicity of your body, mind, soul, and systems is truly freedom.

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Heidi Metro :: FREEDOM THROUGH BOUNDARIES

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Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients. After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. When Heidi isn’t collaborating with clients, you’ll find her with her hubby, three kiddos, and two pooches in their sweet Midwestern town. She loves to hike, build bonfires, and get lost in books. HeidiMetro.com Heidi@thenewnextlevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level 215

BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACHES JANUARY 2021

When not working, you can find Davida spending time with her 2 teenage boys, reading, singing, riding her motorcycle and spending time outdoors.

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Stephanie Lankford, LMT BodyMind Master Coach Ph.D., Educator Community activist, idea girl, and founder of The Rebel Girl Village, Stephanie Lankford is a dynamic single mama who loves nature and her two imaginative and free-spirited daughters. In 2017 Stephanie took the brave leap to become a single mother and made the crucial choice to live her life authentically and on her own terms. As a BodyMind coach, she helps other single mothers do the same. The Rebel Girl Village is a small village where 3 single mother families live harmoniously and raise their children together as a family unit to make their lives better.

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Davida Cartwright is an Associate Coach for TeamBodyMind and the owner/operator of a massage business in Terre Haute, IN. An empathic, caring person who loves to help others feel better, she uses BodyMind Coaching to address her client’s issues (rather than just treat the symptoms).

Davida Cartwright BodyMind Coach

Tanya Bodsford BodyMind Coach If you’ve ever felt like you’re navigating life completely alone and you wish you had a wise, trusted support system to help guide you, advise you, and show you the easiest way forward, Tanya is here to show you how to find that person… within YOURSELF! Tanya works with soul-searching women that have a stack of self-help books by their bed but feel like they’re living their lives on autopilot. Her clients know they’re here for a 216 greater purpose… but feel like everyone else’s priorities seem to always get in the way of making that dream happen.

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES JANUARY 2021

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Love, Bobbi Jo BodyMind Coach

Author & Speaker Foreshadowed by a poem she wrote in her childhood entitled “Lost Dreams,” Bobbie Jo eventually found herself at a crossroads, looking within to once again find who she really was. BodyMind Coaching guided her back to herself. Now Bobbie Jo uses her gift of writing to share inspirational and transformational books as well as guided meditations. Through BodyMind Coaching, she helps others connect with their body wisdom to discover and live their true purpose. It is her passion and purpose to be a channel of love inspiring others in reclaiming and living those “lost dreams,” and confidently expressing the truth of who they really are. Because, the world needs who YOU are.

Kim Fish is a seasoned massage therapist and bodywork coach. For 15 years she has helped hundreds of people transform their relationship with their body through addressing and managing pain and stress. She inspires others to take control of their health through group and private self care sessions. She is a current student of yoga teacher training through and has shifted her business to support clients in the space between massage appointments. She teaches safe, simple and effective self care bodywork sequences, breath work, mindful movements and meditation so that her clients can feel supported, embody confidence and take inspired action that aligns with how they want to feel and with the life they are wanting to create.

Kim Fish, LMT

Halinka VanMinnen, RMT The Happy & Healthy Place Chatham, Ontario, Canada BodyMind Coach Robbins-Madanes Life Coach Yoga Instructor (200hr YTT) Bachelor of Health Science Halinka Van Minnen works with women who experience chronic stress and pain, helping them to align with possibility so that they can live happy and healthy on purpose. Through BodyMind Coaching you’ll discover that you don’t have to live as if your body is hijacked by a terrorist or live in a constant state of chaos. Instead you’ll learn to treat your body as an ally learning new behaviour patterns that beat stress, decrease pain and allow you to be fully present in your life.

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BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS OCTOBER 2020

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FIDEL FORDE BodyMind Coach Motivational Speaker Massage Therapist Yoga Instructor Retreat Leader

MELISSA KELLEY BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist BodyMind Coaching Associate Coach Coordinator

HEIDI METRO BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients. After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by 218 aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. www.heidimetro.com Heidi@TheNewNextLevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD BodyMind Enrollment Coach

Laura Wieck LLC EDITOR Laura Wieck support@LauraWieck.com ART DIRECTION & DESIGN Sandy Bassett sandy@sandybassett.com DISTRIBUTION Subscriptions questions: support@LauraWieck.com To renew or change address: support@LauraWieck.com To subscribe visit BodyMindLiving.com For additional assistance: support@LauraWieck.com MAILING ADDRESS PO Box 21712 Columbus, OH 43221-0712 Reproduction of editorial or advertising content without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. ©2020 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BodyMind Living Magazine, PO Box 21712, Columbus, OH 43221-0712 JAN 2021..............Issue No 4 BodyMind Living Magazine is published 10 times/year by Laura Wieck LLC. Periodicals postage paid at Columbus, Ohio and additional mailing oﬃces.

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PUBLISHER

IMAGE CREDITS With the stunning images from photographers around the world who contribute to Unsplash, BodyMind Living Magazine benefits greatly and we would like to honor and thank them. Jayden Brand David Ragusa Joshua Hibbert Sandy Millar Freestocks Aaron Burden Jack Sharp JoshuaMeg Jerrard Devon Albeit Lily Saffu

Photographs supplied to us by our team and Ambassadors. Fidel Forde Melissa Kelley Heidi Metro Michelle Rockwood Laura Wieck Carly Clark Zimmer Phoenix Rising illustration: SandyBassett.com

the redeﬁning freedom issue...

Now it’s your turn... All right! What did you think? What showed up for you?

What did you notice as we explored this idea of freedom?

As always, the conversation continues in our BodyMind Living Community.

We invite you to join us here, to share your thoughts, to be willing to explore.

This idea of BodyMind Living is about getting out of your head about what is “known,” coming back home into our bodies, feeling our way forward and taking one step at a time.

It is through connection, it is through being around other people who are doing this work as well that we all get to grow, that we all get to raise the vibration of our planet, and that we all get to collectively move forward and create a world that is truly free.

Thank you for joining me, and thank you for being here — I can’t wait to see you in the community.

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MEET YOUR BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS JANUARY 2021 :: RE-DEFINING FREEDOM

HEIDI METRO PAGE 42

FIDEL FORDE PAGE 4

Embodying both your

I have learned over the

complexity and simplicity

years that vulnerability

is true freedom.

leads to freedom.”

LAURA WIECK PAGE 32

“How do we honor our desire for freedom while

navigatingFREEDOM honoring each other?”

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER PAGE 13

Freedom comes from the decision. Too many choices lead to chaos.

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD PAGE 26

In quieting the judgment and the fear I was set free.

BODYMIND

MELISSA KELLEY PAGE 12

What are the conditioned beliefs keeping you bound?

redefining F R E E D O M

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redefining P U R P O S E

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BODYMIND ©

I S S U E N o 5 : : Redef ining PURPOSE : : FEBRUARY 2021

The self help revolution... Redeﬁned.

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WELCOME .................................... 227 THE WEIGHT OF HEAVY QUESTIONS ................................. 228 HEIDI METRO

MY PAIN GAVE ME PURPOSE...................................... 236 FIDEL FORDE

AN INVITATION TO BODYMIND ................................. 243 HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT ........ 240 MELISSA KELLEY

REDEFINING YOUR PURPOSE...................................... 252 CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

SHOWING UP ON PURPOSE.. 260 MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE A BODYMIND COACH? ............ 525 SYNCHRONICITY & SERENDIPITY ............................. 266 LAURA WIECK

AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT MICHELLE ROCKWOOD................. 277 CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACH DIRECTORY .................. 278 AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY .... 280 NAVIGATING ............. BACK COVER

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contents

Welcome!

Purpose has been a driving factor in my journey. So many people come into the personal growth and wellness space because of a desire for purpose. So, what is that? What does it look like? What does it mean? In this month’s issue of BodyMind Living magazine, we’re exploring this topic more fully. How has purpose shown up for us? How has it driven us? How has it guided us? How has it opened up and exposed things for us? As always, I invite you to grab a cup of your favorite beverage, find a quiet spot, take this time to explore and look inward. I invite you think about what purpose means for you. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say. Here’s where to join our community. Let’s go. With love, Laura

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Heidi Metro :: THE WEIGHT OF HEAVY QUESTIONS

o you remember being a kid and having someone ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up? These well-meaning adults would usually use a sing-song tone and wait expectantly for you to wow them with a noble (and expected) answer like a teacher or a firefighter. Right? Ugh. I hated that question for lots of reasons. Mostly because my choices made people react in an awkward way. Being a priest or a truck driver are uncommon choices for a 6 year old girl. “Oh, well, isn’t that interesting.” Or if you’re from the Midwest, “Well... that’s different.” I truly just wanted to climb trees and play outside while I ate popsicles. Lay off Gary, I’m a kid. I’ll get to work later. The “heavy” questions don’t stop there. They only shift. And often make us squirm. Here are some status quo questions I was asked that just seem to ooze with veiled guidance about how I should live my life: “You’re not going to date him, are you?” (I guess I better date him! :) )

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“Where are you going to college?” (I guess I’m going, I better pick.) “What are you majoring in?” (I’m 18 and have no idea.) “When are you getting married?” (I will do that. Hey Mike, let’s do that.) “When are you having kids?” (I have been married for 45 minutes. Just wait. And I guess we should do that?) “Are you going to try for a girl?” (You know, after 2 sons, that’s what you should do.) “What is your purpose?” (Um... in college I learned a lot but I didn’t declare my purpose.)

Holy hell. Okay let’s just pause for a hot second and take a deep breath. No seriously. Inhale... hold... exhale…

Ahh... okay. If you’ve been in the BodyMind space for any amount of time, you know that questions are the tools we use to discover the answers that you already have. I personally call it Leading From Within. I’ve learned over time that asking better questions allows for that inner leadership to truly root and blossom. So let’s begin answering the purpose question with a better question. Cool? Okay, here goes: What is purpose NOT? I know, I know. Don’t worry about the word “not.” It’s only the first step.

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Heidi Metro :: THE WEIGHT OF HEAVY QUESTIONS Here’s what purpose is NOT: * A calling that you have to prove/ chase for the rest of your life * A fixed point that you have to find * What your parents told you you had to be when you grew up * What society expects from you * To get a job, pay the bills, resent the taxes and die * To over-give and over-function so you don’t remember who you are anymore * To make others happy * To be happy All of these definitions make purpose the destination and perpetually out of reach because you must base it on what is outside of you. And most of that list ain’t about you! It’s pure dysfunction! Oh friend, as you get more and more comfortable living BodyMind aligned, you’ll remember that it’s how you BEGIN that will determine where you end up. And so, let’s begin where purpose actually belongs... at the very, very, very beginning. Here is my definition of Soul Purpose: The awareness of where your humanity and divinity intersect.

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Your gloriously complex, intricate and limited humanity along with your ever-expansive and fully connected and dripping with love DIVINITY. The communion of them. The space in between them. The alchemy of them. Sweetheart, you ARE in fact purpose ITSELF living out an expression of the Ultimate Creativity. God herself. God himself. This is where we begin.

You ARE purpose. Isn’t that a relief!!!? Breathe... And so it becomes more about the awareness and the DISCOVERY of our hybrid nature and how we interact with our animation of it that really becomes the true definition of purpose. You are the EXPRESSION of purpose. Your purpose is to be who you are as you. Your likes. Your dislikes. Your talents and challenges. Your taste in furniture and comic books. Your preferences for dogs and seafood. Your inability to carry a tune. In the quiet recesses of your heart and gut, you as you is purpose-filled because you DO know so much about the one and only you!

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Heidi Metro :: THE WEIGHT OF HEAVY QUESTIONS Breaks your heart Pisses you oﬀ Grates on your nerves Sings to you Calls to you in dreams Reveals itself in your journal Annoys you about other people Comes through in messages in music and books

You ARE purpose.

Heidi shares her sometimes elusive search for purpose. (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY.)

The challenge is that what is obvious to us about ourselves is often thought to be lackluster. Boring. Normal. Sometimes even wrong. We forget that we are a part of this incredibly unique and creative unfolding and so we get busy. And disconnected. And we look everywhere for our purpose when it is in fact coursing through our very veins. Purpose is also having reverence for your holy nature. For real! You are so sacred. You are so unique. Your gift, your message, your voice IS purpose. 234

You know what:

Your purpose is not meant to be found. It’s meant to be unwrapped. Discovered. It’s not outside of you. You can’t Google it. You can’t drive to it. And you’ll likely go through a few phases. I call it the “Cover Series.” First you’ll UNCOVER a whole bunch of shit that you’re NOT. You’ll begin the journey within with a whole lotta contrast. What you don’t like. What doesn’t work. What pisses you off. What scares the shit out of you. What breaks you into pieces. Then you’ll DISCOVER who you are. At your core. The secret spaces of you. A one-of-a-kind original that was MEANT to be here. You’ll make choices out of preference and direction. You’ll still go through cycles, but you won’t feel so lost all the time. And of course during this time you’ll RECOVER who you were before the world told you who you “should” be. You’ll grant yourself more leeway. You’ll have boundaries. And uphold them. You’ll replenish the stores of energy that you gave away. You’ll care for that gorgeous small/child self and love him/her wholly, thus engaging in a truly beautiful gift to all of us: Self-love. So please dear, when someone asks you what your purpose is, you say,

“I am purpose.”

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Fidel Forde :: MY PAIN GAVE ME PURPOSE

What does this piece go to? It just doesn’t fit. Why did that situation happen to me? What am I supposed to do with this? It’s so frustrating wondering, second guessing, working toward something, and having no idea to what end. Discovering your purpose is somehow expected to be this enlightening, passion-fulfilling experience. The clouds part, a beam of light comes out of the sky, and you hear this voice that says, “This is your purpose.” And everyday from that point on you live out your purpose because you finally know what it is…. HA! Wouldn’t it be nice if it was that simple? 236

o how did I find my purpose? I never did. It revealed itself to me like a puzzle being put together from a box with no picture. Leave it up to purpose to cause you to question how all the pieces of your life come together.

Instead, my purpose in life was disguised in my pain, buried deep in my past, revealed in my strengths, and ignited through my passions. My passion for fathering came from the pain and childhood sadness of having an absent father. Not being able to recall being hugged or hearing the words “I love you” from my father... I still cannot even think about this without getting teary-eyed. But this experience birthed in me a desire to be the dad that I wished I had and to break the generational cycle of scattered families and fatherless children. I HAD TO CHOOSE over and over again to make this a reality. And I still have to choose every day and decide that this is who I am. When my son runs into my arms just to tell me he loves me and I squeeze him tight, there are simply no words. So Dad, I just want to say thank you! For the example that you didn’t know how to set, because it wasn’t given to you, actually ended up bringing out the best in me. Purpose also found me after I lost my dream job in corporate America. With this, I lost more than my position and salary, I lost my identity and value of being able to provide as a ‘man.’ The stress, overwhelm and pain of losing my job, having a family, and being uprooted constantly

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Fidel Forde :: MY PAIN GAVE ME PURPOSE

Although I couldn’t see it at the time, when I look back I can see the picture. And it all turned out to be a blessing. My own struggles made me more sensitive to recognizing the struggles of others, which has equipped me to be more impactful in my current work.

Losing it all didn’t define me, it refined me.

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as a military spouse rocked me at my core. There was no picture on my puzzle box of what to do with these pieces that were given to me or how to handle the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual stress of it all, not to mention how to adapt to saying goodbye to the goals and dreams of what I thought life would be.

That job loss opened the door for me to discover my passion as a speaker, coach, massage therapist, and yoga instructor. It opened me to empowering others to be limitless in body, mind, and life. It put me on a path of training, deeper inner work and experience, allowing me to take control over my life, shift my relationship with stress and learn to let my heart lead me forward deeply. It was another piece that fell into place toward a more aligned life of encouraging, equipping, and empowering others... something I continually do for myself. This was just one piece of the puzzle. This is what John C. Maxwell, the father of leadership, has to say about purpose:

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Fidel adds to his story in this heartfelt video. (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY.)

So when you are living out life in your strength zone, you will inevitably find purpose... and joy in that purpose... living an aligned life of impact. Here is the point: Purpose reveals itself in those defining moments. Purpose is where your past, present, and future meet. Purpose sparks the moment your misery becomes your ministry, your test becomes your testimony.

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“Whenever I mentor people and help them discover their purpose, I always encourage them to start the process by discovering their strengths, not exploring their shortcomings. Why? Because people’s purpose in life is always connected to their giftedness. It always works that way. You are not called to do something that you have no talent for. You will discover your purpose by ﬁnding and remaining in your strength zone.”

What desires do you have that you can’t run from? What is it that continues to give you butterflies and lights a fire in your belly? What is it that no matter where you go people (even strangers) share the same inspiring truth about who you are? If you start to look at the pain of your past and the desires of your future, it will give you insight into how to pursue your purpose in your present.

What is my purpose? It is to live everyday intentionally, growing deeper into the person I’m meant to become, demonstrating what’s possible, and helping others do the same. I’d love to hear your story. Share it with me. I bet we could see how all the puzzle pieces fit together and create the beautiful, unique picture that is you. 241

Fidel Forde :: MY PAIN GAVE ME PURPOSE

Fidel Forde is a BodyMind & Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Retreat Leader, Massage Therapist, and International Yoga Instructor — aka a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse of a Navy psychologist and a father of three daughters and one son. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout. He is passionate about this work because in 2011 his world was turned upside down. He lost his corporate executive position, struggled to adapt to the multiple relocations and the lifestyle of a military family, and realized that he had no idea how to manage his stress. That is what drove him to the path of becoming a holistic practitioner. He uncovered the power of the body-mind connection, which allowed him to embody his true purpose and gifts of healing, encouraging and empowering others. Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, and hustle with grace. His location-independent business model allows him to travel and work with clients around the world, in person and virtually. Fidel creates one of a kind embodiment retreats for groups and individuals to kick stress to the curb and tap into their personal power. What Fidel is most proud about is redefining what it means to dad, to be present, and to let it be messy. To connect with Fidel and fuel your spark check him out at: FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde 242

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An invitation to you...

¡ ¢ ¢ £ £ ¯

Laura

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Melissa Kelley :: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

urpose is often painted as this mysterious enigma.

I suppose, in some ways that may be true. In other ways, it seems to me that our purpose is actually hidden in plain sight. For those of us that feel inspired to pursue the path of purpose, finding “it” is simply a matter of tracking the clues we’ve left for ourselves along the way. As a kid, I was forever pondering the meaning of things. I remember thinking often — what is this gig (life)? What is this all about? What are we all DOING here, anyway? What’s MY part? What am I here to DO? Figure out what I’m here to do, and get on with the business of doing it.

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That has been my jam since day one. I am reminded of this by a story my father often tells. “You had to learn to walk three times...” This is always his lead into the story. He frames it this way on purpose, to remind me that whatever I’m navigating, I’ve got the tools to get there. When I first began walking, it became evident I required casts and braces on my feet and ankles for my bone structure to develop properly. Having mastered the process once already, my father was concerned that my mobility would be hindered by the acquisition of my new hardware. To his surprise, I sat with curiosity and studied intently the details of my situation. After an extended period of contemplation, I hoisted myself up, and though wobbly at first, I adapted my process and reclaimed my mobility. He marveled at my sheer will and determination. I spent the next year unhindered and continuing to confound my parents. I scaled the confines of my crib daily, using the top rail to hoist myself out of containment. It seems I also developed a talent for loosening the bolts that held my braces in place. My father still scratches his head in bewilderment as he admits to peeking his head around doorways, hoping to see how it was that I could loosen the bolts he strategically tightened with a crescent wrench. On the other side of a year’s time, my hardware and casts

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Melissa Kelley :: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT On the other side of a year, my casts and braces were removed and I had to learn to walk again. I didn’t miss a beat. If you know me, you’re probably smiling as you read this, or maybe even laughing out loud. Because you can totally see it. And that’s my point. After 40+ trips around the sun what I’ve come to learn about myself my dad says he saw in me from the very beginning. That even during the times he’s witnessed me struggle, he never worried because he knows I’m tenacious, determined. I am wired to innovate, to figure it out and glean some wisdom along the way. It just so happens these are some of the core qualities I lean on in my own inner work as well as the work I do with my clients. Another story to share... My daughter was speaking in sentences before she turned a year old. From the moment she arrived in this world she was completely fascinated by the sound of her own voice. Throughout her infancy, it was clear that she had an innate determination to master language. It was my turn to marvel as she worked with intention to create sounds, capturing the attention of an entire room, grocery store or shopping mall with her powerful voice. As a

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toddler and a little girl, it was her personal mission to inform us of all the things. One of her favorite toys was a microphone. Fifteen years later, I hold the deep knowing for her that my father held for me. As an adolescent, she struggles and waivers a bit in her confidence. That is part of the journey. Yet, when she is impassioned, her gift of communication is absolutely captivating. She is an activist, a change maker. She uses her voice to illuminate some of darkest problems we are facing as a society. She is a born mediator and humanitarian, and through conversation, I have witnessed her innate ability to unify the most divided points of view. I share these stories as examples because I know them intimately. These are the threads, I believe, that if we follow them, point to and support us in recognizing and living our purpose. We all have our own landscape of experiences to draw from. We have innate qualities that we brought with us, we have challenges and complications that we’ve faced. Defining moments in our lives where we awakened to or were called upon to develop a specific skill set to see us through to the next chapter of our journey. We are hard wired for purpose.

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Melissa Kelley :: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

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Melissa Kelley :: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

Do you remember what you loved to do as a child? What was your favorite way to pass the time? Who were you before you learned to shield yourself from the opinions of others? What did you want to do/be before you learned about what you’re supposed to do or who you’re supposed to be? My work is rooted in the premise of purpose. That we are all here to remember who we really are, and what we came here to do. I believe that purpose is a grace within each of us, that we are being asked to cultivate, to hone, to feed, to nourish, and to utilize as a source of contribution to the whole. The whole equals all of us. Humans working together to contribute to the well-being of humanity. Questions I ask myself regularly:

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If you find yourself contemplating purpose, I invite you to consider retracing your steps. What are the clues that you have been leaving for yourself along the way?

Where/How can I commit my energy to something bigger than me/myself? Where/How am I uniquely qualified to serve/contribute? Purpose is about action with intention. It’s about showing up. Showing up with integrity for ourselves so that we have something of integrity to offer others. For me, purpose is my commitment to sacred service. We all have within us the capacity to contribute something that makes a difference.

Imagine the impact that would be

possible if we all

decided to dance with purpose.

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The ripple effect would be profound.

Melissa Kelley is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth & transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. Sacredshe.life 251

Carly Clark Zimmer :: REDEFINING YOUR PURPOSE

any years ago I was at a workshop and the retreat leader asked us to go around the room and share what our purpose was. At the time, this type of exercise was my worst nightmare. I cringed and started to sweat. My face turned bright red and my thoughts started to race “What am I going to say? What if it’s not good enough? I don’t know what my purpose is yet… Maybe I don’t have one. I’m going to look stupid...” Somehow I fumbled my way through that moment. I don’t recall what I said, but I do remember feeling ashamed. I didn’t know what my purpose was and I felt like I didn’t deserve to be in the room. A few days after the workshop while out for a walk, I had a lightbulb moment. Wasn’t me just being a person

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good enough? I would never assume that someone didn’t have a purpose no matter what their life looked like, so why was I putting all of this pressure on myself? From that moment on I get annoyed when I hear your “life’s purpose” thrown around in the personal development world, and I think we need to be really intentional when having conversations around purpose. We have a responsibility as leaders to make sure everyone knows that you have a purpose...

and that purpose is to BE YOU! It took me a long time to come to this realization. When I was a teenager, my brothers and I were left to our own devices in the afternoon as my mom finished up her school bus run. This was when I discovered the magical world of Oprah Winfrey! She would interview amazing guests that would move me to tears with their powerful stories of how they were helping others around the world. Something deep inside me connected with this energy, and I knew I was here to do something… but I didn’t yet know what that was. But who was I to have this dream? Who was I to think I could make an impact? That’s not what happened to people in my small town. At least that’s what it seemed like coming from a teenager’s perspective. 253

Carly Clark Zimmer :: REDEFINING YOUR PURPOSE

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: REDEFINING YOUR PURPOSE

The message I picked up on subconsciously was that if we are not impacting hundreds or millions of people, then we don’t have a purpose. Let’s play with this question: “Do you have to make a big impact to have a purpose?” Of course not! Think about a new born baby or a toddler… would you ever question that they have a purpose other than to just be themselves?

Why then do so many of us feel like we have to go searching for our purpose? I believe the answer to this question lies within a slight shift in language. What we are looking for as we become adults is a connection to our soul and how your soul is calling you to live your life. Some people might call this meaning. We want our lives to mean something and we want to feel fufilled. If we are disconnected from our soul, it can leave us feeling empty inside causing us to go outside of ourselves searching for our purpose, when what we are actually looking for is right inside of us all along.

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I had this burning desire to find my purpose and get out of that small town. But the more I watched people on TV making a big impact, the smaller I felt.

In order to feel connected to our purpose, we must be connected to our soul. And this is where the process of BodyMind has been so powerful for me. My soul knew what it was here to do: help people make positive changes in their lives so they could be happier and more fulfilled. But my mind had talked myself out of it for years. My mind-chatter was constantly telling me I wasn’t good enough or smart enough. It was through the process of reconnecting to my body’s deep internal wisdom and intuition that I allowed myself to express the fullest version of myself out in the world. From a young age, we are told to be quiet, sit down, don’t make a scene, don’t be too loud or in my case, too shy. We quickly get put into boxes that we have not necessarily chosen. We might even start looking for the acceptable boxes to put ourselves in because they are the social norm. We begin to seek approval from others, which can create a separation from our soul and the true expression of ourselves. For many people, the wake-up call to reconnect to their purpose comes in the form of a drastic life event like losing a job, or a loved one, or a diﬃcult health challenge. It’s often in those moments that we have slowed down enough to hear our soul calling, reconnecting to purpose — to be you. If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your purpose, here are a few questions to ponder and help spark the reconnection: 257

Carly Clark Zimmer :: REDEFINING YOUR PURPOSE

What would you change in your life to express yourself more authentically? What would you say or do — or not do — anymore? What might be possible if you took this concept and started living it to the fullest? “Today I will live the fullest expression of myself.” Write that down on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror! The process of fully expressing myself took a number of years and I do believe I am still in that process and may be for many years to come. There is more of my inner child that wants to come out and play and my adult self is still testing the waters to make sure it’s safe.

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What would it look like for you to be the fullest expressioon of yourself?

Our bodies are wise, so if you’ve had diﬃcult experiences especially early on in life, the body does what it needs to in order to protect itself and feel safe. We may have had to build up a strong armor around the fullest expression of ourselves because there may have been a time in our life where it was not safe to be who we are. As adults we can consciously bring in a ton of self-compassion for the little person we were, doing the very best we could in the situation we were in. Only then can we take small steps to heal and start to feel safe enough to express the full version of who we are now. Decades later, I think back to the small town I grew up in and know that every single person in that town has a divine purpose — to be themselves. And to be the fullest expression of themselves whatever that might look like!

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Carly talks about the sometimes paralyzing shock of being seen and heard. (CLICK IMAGE TO PLAY.)

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Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com First 5 (https://carlyclarkzimmer.lpages.co/join-first-5/) @carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer FB: The Heart Centered Coach Club IG:

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Michelle Rockwood :: SHOWING UP ON PURPOSE

I’m up for several reasons: One, I’m not great with the altitude, and we’re up high — almost 10,000 feet — and two, because it feels like our country is in turmoil, and frankly, I’m stressed. This happens to me often... bouts of insomnia and stress. More often in the last year (you too?). One of the many things I am stressing about this (early) morning is purpose. What the heck is my purpose? Why do I need to have such a thing, and why can’t I just be happy as I am?

I’m not kidding; this is why I am up.

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t’s 3 am, and I can’t sleep. I’m hiding in the bathroom, sitting on a pile of dirty towels and leaning against the tub. I’m trying not to type too loudly and wake my three boys, while they slumber here in the ski town of Breckenridge, Colorado.

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I can hear my husband sleeping away and snoring (it’s an altitude thing) in the next room, clearly not obsessed with his happiness, at least not at this moment. As I try to ground myself and get some shuteye, I am reminded of a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote: “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” I love this quote because I know that happiness and inner peace is achieved through seeking purpose and being useful; it does not just suddenly magically appear because we wish it or read a flowery quote from Oprah (although I do love Oprah!). When have you felt the most purpose in your life? For me, it was when I was all-consumed. For example, when my first baby was born, there was nothing else I could think of but his care. My purpose was clear, and everything else just fell away. Today, I also feel a profound sense of purpose when I am coaching women. They hang up the phone with me or jump off a group coaching call and with a renewed sense of their purpose, their flow and impact. They share their wins with me and we celebrate together. I feel useful and fulfilled. When I am all consumed with my craft I feel purposeful. But the words of Oprah or others floating around the web, podcasts, even on t-shirts often ring through my head on nights (mornings) like this: Typically the quote goes something like, 261

Michelle Rockwood :: SHOWING UP ON PURPOSE “you’re perfect and whole just as you are.” Is this really true? Are humans born perfectly whole just as they are? Purpose for each of us is as essential as the breath we breathe, sometimes more. Sometimes we are willing to give our life, literally, to fulfill what we believe to be our purpose. This has often driven men unapologetically through history. I routinely struggle with thoughts that sound something like this: “I should be content and happy just as I am.” Up until now this has been a mantra I have desperately tried to embody. My kids should fulfill me, my home, my hobbies... this should be enough. But it’s not, they’re not. I need more. I need to make money, to be recognized for my gifts, to make an impact on the lives of others in a big way. It’s how I am wired, it’s who I am and no mantra will ever silence this voice inside... and that’s okay. Today, the noise of the world and others’ needs shatter the clarity of my purpose, and it’s unsettling. Pulled in so many directions, the tunnel of clarity I once had for my purpose is harder to find. I have to listen in, plan, and purposely be “selfish” as I work away towards my current vision, my purpose. So, how do we begin to find purpose in our lives? How do we find meaning in this one and only life? I don’t have a step-by-step guide or a shortcut to finding purpose. But what I do know is that when we stop seeking it, we die. We succumb, and we start to shut down, we become angry and isolated... 262

we become depressed. In case your purpose is eluding you, I do have a “cheat” to get started: find someone else with it. Find someone with incredible purpose and drive and stand next to her. Seriously, just hang out. Work with her, volunteer with her, do whatever you can to be next to someone with great purpose. You’ll find they rub off on you in amazing ways. Do what they do day-to-day and take their passion on as if it was your own. You might just stumble upon your own purpose and passion in the process, and you’ll be prepared to put on the blinders and act accordingly. This is what has worked for me when I was rudderless in life — I surrounded myself with folks who had big dreams and purpose. They seemed so bizarre to me at the time, but this passion was what attracted me to them and I now realize it’s because purpose and passion are within us all and vital to a “life well lived.” Still... I am up at night wondering the meaning of it all and where I fit in. I fear this wanderlust will never end and I will continue to seek out passion, purpose, flow and the meaning of it all. I know this feeling will pass and I will eventually fall asleep, but I will continue to seek my purpose and I hope you will too. Reach out and let me know how you’ve found purpose in this only life, and if you’re out seeking it and fumbling around like the rest of us, share that too. What is important is that we don’t stop seeking purpose and meaning. Our lives, our happiness depend on it. 263

Michelle Rockwood :: SHOWING UP ON PURPOSE

Michelle Rockwood BodyMind Enrollment Coach Michelle Rockwood is a fierce and loving Heart-Centered Sales expert for BodyMind Coaching’s 9-month Certification program. She teaches clients the most joyful way to master the sales conversation so they can sell their coaching programs with love, ease and grace. Michelle also runs a program called Sisterhood Rising, it’s designed for badass women ready to reclaim their brilliance. She loves her work and cares deeply for her clients, her family and the world. Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo and her new puppy Ruby. You can connect with Michelle at: TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

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What is it like to become a BodyMind Coach?

As a master coach and Licensed Massage Therapist with over 12 years experience, I know there’s a better way to work. How? Because I transformed my heart-centered, hands-on business myself.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It’s my mission to give heart-centered therapists like you the tools to serve your clients and help them achieve lasting results, without you burning yourself out in the process.

Not so many years ago, I was where you might be right now: overworked, exhausted and on the brink of burnout. At the time I was working as a successful massage therapist. I had great retention rates, clients regularly referred their friends, and consequently, I was always booked solid. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Interested in becoming a BodyMind Coach? Click here for more information.

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Laura Wieck :: SYNCHRONICITY & SERENDIPITY

I was exhausted. I had just finished my fifth 90-minute massage session of the day and noticed how all the common complaints my clients had come in with — sore back, neck pain, stress — had somehow ended up in my body. I took in a deep breath, closed my eyes, and invited all the energy that wasn’t mine to leave my body and be returned to the earth to be cleansed. I sent love and gratitude to all my amazing clients because I knew I was so fortunate to have a full massage practice. Normally, this short ritual was enough for me to feel more grounded. But not today. Today a voice came rumbling up through my core and whispered in my heart, “Laura… there is more to your purpose than this.” 266

“S

ee you in two weeks, Cathy!” I gave one final wave to my client and closed the door behind me.

Have you ever had a moment where truth resonated through you?

Well… that was this moment for me. For years, I thought being a massage therapist was my purpose. I thought the way I was supposed to express this purpose was to build a booked-solid practice. The truth was, I was burning out. I didn’t know how much more I had to give. But if this wasn’t my purpose, what was? After one more deep breath, I opened my eyes, grabbed my laptop and cuddled up on the couch with my dogs, Porky and Daisy, flanking each side. Without thinking, I opened Facebook and began my post-client, zone-out and scroll time. Apparently, God wasn’t done talking to me because a few seconds into my scrolling, a video caught my attention. Alarm clock going off —> Shower turning on —> Coffee pot percolating —> Traffic and horns on the way to work —> Endless emails —> Traffic and more horns on the way home —> Stress eating at the end of the day—> Crashing on the couch watching netflix —> Alarm clock going off...

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Laura Wieck :: SYNCHRONICITY & SERENDIPITY

And then a male voice chimed in, “You know there has to be more to life than this. You know that you are here for a purpose… but what is your purpose?” It was like this guy was in my head. The video continued. “It’s hard to find your purpose when you’re stuck in the daily routine of your life,” I was nodding along. Then, the cycle broke and scenes of lush palm trees and beautiful beaches where the narrator, who I had seen on an episode of Oprah was standing. He looked straight into the camera and said, “What you need is a pattern interrupt.”

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Then the images started to repeat, getting faster and faster.

In that serendipitous moment, it felt like God had answered a prayer. A pattern interrupt was exactly what I needed. Before I had time to question what the hell I was doing (or how the hell I would be able to afford a week-long retreat in Maui without my husband), I clicked the link and filled out the application. Somehow, I made it through the interview and was selected to join 20 other people from around the world to connect back to our hearts and discover our purpose. .......................

Six months later, I walked off the plane into an open-air terminal. Birds were chirping in the railings above, the smell of the tropical island filled my lungs, and the

I always knew Maui would be beautiful. What they don’t tell you is how wonderful Maui smells — thick humid air combined with a fruity floral fragrance that dances with your senses.

I was finally here. After a quick stop to the bathroom I picked up my checked bag and headed outside to wait for Sue. An hour later, she walked out carrying a massive bag that held her windsurfing gear. “Well, hello stranger! Fancy meeting you here!” Sue’s warm smile made me feel more comfortable being so far from home, “I can’t believe our flights landed so close

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breeze hugged me as if to say, ‘Welcome to Maui!’

to each other. Who would have guessed that two Ohio girls would be hanging out in Maui!” I had met Sue a handful of times through my acupuncturist friend back in Ohio. She was one of those people who never met a stranger. She had a way to make anyone feel comfortable and at home in her presence. “That’s the power of social media!” I said as I gave her a hug. The only reason we figured out we were both coming to Maui was because of Facebook. Honestly, I was relieved when I saw her post and we connected. I had jumped on the opportunity to come to the retreat and purchased the cheapest ticket possible without thinking how I would afford two additional days on the island.

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Laura Wieck :: SYNCHRONICITY & SERENDIPITY

Plus, Sue was always up for an adventure…

and I had just the place in mind! The next morning, after we figured out how to use a french press coffee maker for the first time, we hopped into her two-door sedan, rolled down the windows, turned on some Jack Johnson music and headed east towards the Road to Hana. The Road To Hana is the classic tourist attraction on Maui. The twisting, curving road takes you through the rain forest, along the coast to a quiet little village on the far east side of the island. Along the way, there are thick bamboo forests, rainbow eucalyptus trees, black sand beaches, dozens of waterfalls and whales breaching in the ocean. “So what’s in Hana that you wanted to find?” Sue asked “My grandpa preached at a church in Hana and I want to go find it,” I said as I took a sip of my coffee. “My grandparents loved to travel and see the world. But with my grandpa being a preacher, they had to find a way to travel on a budget. So he would do these ‘church swaps’ where he would trade churches with another preacher.” 270

The synchronicity and serendipity of our paths crossing meant that I had a couch to crash on and transportation to explore the island.

“It’s kind of like my travel nursing program,” Sue interjected, “just with preachin’ the good word!” I laughed. “Exactly!” Three hours later, we pulled up to Wananalua Church. Bells were ringing as the last service was just letting out. Our timing was perfect.

Synchronicity and serendipity again. Sue pulled off the road and parked next to the wood fence on the edge of the church property. Lush green grass surrounded the church with huge palm trees around the edge of the property. On the far side of the church was a cemetery shaded by a massive banyan tree. Something about the place drew me in. It was stately, yet inviting, powerful, yet humbling. My soul knew this place as if it was always a part of me. As soon as my foot stepped onto the property, a tingling sensation rose up through my legs, filled my torso, and fluttered in my heart. An energy drew me across the grass, up the stairs, and into the270 sanctuary of the island church. Mahogany beams lined the ceiling and the altar was filled with fresh tropical flowers. My fingers gently floated across the top of the pews, and it felt like every soul who had ever sat on those benches and prayed were intertwining their energy with me.

I felt my grandfather’s presence sitting in that chair and preaching from that pulpit as if he were standing there with me. I could hear his voice echoing through the sanctuary as he worshiped. I could feel his arms holding the hymnal close to his heart, with his head bowed and eyes closed as he prayed. While I was falling deeper and deeper into the moment, Sue was doing what she does best — making friends. “Laura,” you could tell Sue loved the treasure hunt that was unfolding, “This is Carol. She’s the church secretary.” I flashed a smile and nod to Carol. I was so in the moment that I couldn’t form words. “When was your grandfather here?” Carol asked with a warm, welcoming smile on her face. I liked her immediately. “October, 1979.” I responded without hesitating. “Wow! That’s specific. I’m impressed you know the exact date.” “I should. It was the month I was born.” They both leaned in so I continued. “My parents were actually supposed to be here that month

Behind the wood-carved pulpit was a simple chair lined with a soft blue velvet fabric. While it had obviously been reupholstered over the years, the frame itself looked to be at least 50 years old.

with them. But… they had to miss it because… well… I showed up!” “So your parents missed a trip to Hawaii because you were born?” Sue said in a tone that was half question, half joke. “Yup. I was a ‘whoops-a-baby!’ and my grandparents were here in Hana when I was born.” “You know,” the secretary chimed in, “we have church newsletters that go back decades. I wonder if we have any from when your grandfather was…’ she was already walking down the aisle before she finished the sentence. Somehow I knew this was more than just a happy accident. The energy that drew me into the church seemed to be guiding the unfolding moments of synchronicity and serendipity. After a few minutes rifling through papers in the oﬃce, Carol came back with a huge smile on her face and a few pieces of paper in her hands. “Look at this,” she said, bursting with excitement. There in front of me were four church newsletters, each with my grandfather’s name, the title of his sermon, the Bible verses he quoted, and a summary of what he said. There was even a note at the bottom of the last newsletter with an announcement of my birth. Suddenly, the past, present and future collided in this moment. 271

Laura Wieck :: SYNCHRONICITY & SERENDIPITY

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Laura Wieck :: SYNCHRONICITY & SERENDIPITY

It existed within the walls of this church. It existed within each cell of my body. It existed within the infinite expanse of space and time. It connected generations. It guided all of us. It wove a greater vision than any one person could ever see in their lifetime.

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The vastness of the universe seemed to focus in, as if to say the purpose I was seeking had always existed.

Life felt so big and so small all at once, and in the middle of it was me, my grandfather, and this moment, all woven together through a simple desire to live a life of purpose. .......................

I spent the following week immersed in a powerful process that brought my purpose into focus even more clearly. I saw the moments in my life where my purpose was nudging me forward and guiding my path. I uncovered the places where I was blocking myself and letting fear stop me. I realized that my purpose was more than just my job. My purpose was about living fully and authentically as myself and sharing that with others. Most importantly, I learned that purpose is an embodied experience. It is a deep knowing that is

Seeking purpose and meaning is what brought Laura to coaching. (CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW TO PLAY.)

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Purpose drives us. Purpose inspires us. Purpose wakes us up. Purpose connects us. Purpose humbles us. Purpose frees us. Purpose lives through us. .......................

My grandmother always told me that the moments of synchronicity and serendipity are where you see God directing your life. The moment I had made the commitment to my purpose, things seemed to magically align through moments of synchronicity and serendipity. It was the feeling that guided me the whole way. I believe that who you are — as you are — is a gift to this world. Committing to your purpose is

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felt within our core. The moment you try and capture your ‘purpose’ into a stagnant point is the moment you lose the essence of purpose itself.

about committing to showing up fully in your life and sharing your brilliance with the world. When you do, make sure to keep your eyes open for moments of synchronicity and serendipity as they guide you on your path. .......................

One more thing… On the way out of the church, there were postcards for sale that had a painting of the church on the front. I put $20 in the offering basket and grabbed two of them — one for me and one for my grandmother. When I returned home the next week, I got a call from my grandmother who told me that she knew the artist who drew the painting and was good friends with her for years after their trip.

Synchronicity and serendipity again.

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Laura Wieck :: SYNCHRONICITY & SERENDIPITY

Laura Wieck Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work. After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life.276 Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, young son, and two well-loved pups.

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AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

An interview with Laura Wieck and Michelle Rockwood...

WHAT DOES BODYMIND LIVING MEAN TO YOU?

“W

hat does if feel like when you are living BodyMind?” —Laura Wieck

“BodyMind Living is all of these gifts that allow me to have more choice, to be more free. It’s home and a place that no matter what’s happening, I can always go back to. How do I define something that has been so significant in my life? It’s changed my relationships, that’s changed my finances, that’s changed the way I think about business. It’s a lifestyle, and the word choice keeps coming back to me. Because I now have the ability to choose how I respond and how I move forward. Before I was steered by society, by my spouse, by my kids. I was giving away this choice. Now I’m grounded with BodyMind coaching tools. I use them with my clients and myself to take a deep breath, to pause, and to respond with love. I respond more often with love.” —Michelle Rockwood 13 minute interview. (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

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BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACHES JANUARY 2021

When she’s not working with clients, you will likely find her hanging out with her boys (husband and dog Amos) or taking a dance class. 278

Dannielle Arceneaux, LMT BodyMind Coach, RYT-200 How would it feel to know that no matter what happens you have a place where you can always go to get the best guidance? I work with ambitious men and women who are ready to discover how embodiment of their true values brings their personal purpose alive in how they live, work and love. You are invited to set down what’s been swirling around in your head, become present in your body, and fully engaged with your natural inner source of wisdom. You have all your answers inside of you. I simply oﬀer the sacred space along with tools and support that will bring YOUR brilliance to the surface so you can run with it! ¤ ¨ª¢ ¢©ª ¢¢¨

Helen is a lover of movement and is fascinated by all things body-mind-soul. As a professional dancer, she learned first-hand how the body and mind must work together to create true strength and resilience. Her understanding of the body was amplified by practicing as a massage therapist for the last 17 years. Over the last five years, a growing desire to give her clients more autonomy over how they feel led to adding the Franklin Method and BodyMind Coaching into the mix. Both of these modalities invite the client to embody how they desire to feel, and take practical steps to get there.

Helen Marie Carruthers, RMP

Adriana Morales, LMT BodyMind Coach She started the wellness journey in 2013 by attending massage school and soon found out that helping people connect to their bodies was her passion. She then opened up her own business, Transcend Relaxation, specializing in the emotional aspect of chronic pain. In the pursuit of providing integrative support to her clients, she found the BodyMind Coaching method and now she helps women make positive changes in their lives, physically, emotionally and spiritually. 278

©ª© ¢ ¨ ©¦

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES JANUARY 2021

Araina Linton BodyMind Master Coach Araina helps overwhelmed women entrepreneurs reduce stress and create the perfect balance between work and life. She is known for a simple step-by-step process that guides women back to their passion to avoid burnout, feel better, have more time, and build their businesses with ease. Finding a balance between work and life is tough. Sometimes despite your ambition, your dreams can feel a bit out of reach, and it can start to cause stress, frustration, and pain. It can be enough to make you want to give up your business. But, there is a better way! If you’re thinking about closing the doors to your business, please reconsider — introduce some healthy habits into your hustle!

Halinka Van Minnen works with women who experience chronic stress and pain, helping them to align with possibility so that they can live happy and healthy on purpose. Through BodyMind Coaching you’ll discover that you don’t have to live as if your body is hijacked by a terrorist or live in a constant state of chaos. Instead you’ll learn to treat your body as an ally learning new behaviour patterns that beat stress, decrease pain and allow you to be fully present in your life.

Halinka VanMinnen, RMT The Happy & Healthy Place Chatham, Ontario, Canada BodyMind Coach Robbins-Madanes Life Coach Yoga Instructor (200hr YTT) Bachelor of Health Science

Karyn Claﬂin BodyMind Coach If you’re amazing at taking care of everyone else — but are starting to feel over-committed and like something’s just not quite right in your life — you should meet Karyn! Karyn Claﬂin is a Master BodyMind Coach with a background in massage, meditation, and yoga who helps folks who have big dreams but the stressful demands of daily life keep getting in the way. If that sounds like you, Karyn can help you focus on the right things, so you can free up space and energy to do the work you know you’re here to do! «

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BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS OCTOBER 2020

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FIDEL FORDE BodyMind Coach Motivational Speaker Massage Therapist Yoga Instructor Retreat Leader

MELISSA KELLEY BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist BodyMind Coaching Associate Coach Coordinator

HEIDI METRO BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients. After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by 280 aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. www.heidimetro.com Heidi@TheNewNextLevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

Through her own BodyMind coaching journey, Carly uncovered her knack for helping coaches simplify and streamline their business while bringing their vision and desire to make an impact to life! She helps other coaches and creatives build profitable, aligned businesses by combining smart business tactics with the bodymind connection. When she’s not wearing her coaching hat, she’s hiking the emerald green countryside and enjoying the salty sea air of Galway Ireland, where she lives with her husband Devin. CarlyClarkZimmer.com Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com IG: @carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer BodyMind Coaching and Consulting

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD BodyMind Enrollment Coach

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER BodyMind Coach BodyMind Embodied Tech Expert

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Laura Wieck LLC EDITOR Laura Wieck support@LauraWieck.com ART DIRECTION & DESIGN Sandy Bassett sandy@sandybassett.com DISTRIBUTION Subscriptions questions: support@LauraWieck.com To renew or change address: support@LauraWieck.com To subscribe visit BodyMindLiving.com For additional assistance: support@LauraWieck.com MAILING ADDRESS PO Box 21712 Columbus, OH 43221-0712 Reproduction of editorial or advertising content without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. ©2020 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BodyMind Living Magazine, PO Box 21712, Columbus, OH 43221-0712 FEB 2021..............Issue No 5 BodyMind Living Magazine is published 10 times/year by Laura Wieck LLC. Periodicals postage paid at Columbus, Ohio and additional mailing oﬃces.

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PUBLISHER

IMAGE CREDITS With the stunning images from photographers around the world who contribute to Unsplash, BodyMind Living Magazine benefits greatly and we would like to honor and thank them. Nathan Lindal Kelly Sikkema Caroline Hernandez Thom Bradley Mohamed Nohassi Bastien Herve Yohann Libot Josep Castells Jacalyn Beales Luca Discenza Peter Fogden Rich Hay Anvesh Prokhor Minin

Photographs supplied to us by our team and Ambassadors. Fidel Forde Melissa Kelley Heidi Metro Michelle Rockwood Laura Wieck Carly Clark Zimmer

the redeﬁning purpose issue

Now it’s your turn...

All right. So what showed up for you through reading and watching the stories in this month’s issue of BodyMind Living Magazine, Redefining Purpose? What does purpose mean for you? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How has it shown up and guided you? The BodyMind Ambassadors and myself continually contribute to the community and we’d love to hear your insights. I know the real work starts when you take what you learn by showing up and you implement through action. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts, and I look forward to seeing you there. 283 283

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redefining H E A L I N G

BODYMIND ™

I S S U E N o 6 : : Redef ining H E A L I N G : : M A R C H 2021

The self help revolution... Redeﬁned.

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WELCOME .................................... 289 HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB ... 290 CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

BODYMIND INVITATION ......... 297 REDEFINING HEALING ............ 298 LAURA WIECK

AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT MELISSA KELLEY............................. 307 YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE MELISSA KELLEY............................. 308 IT DIDN’T HURT ANYMORE.... 316 HEIDI METRO

WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP .......... 322 MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BECOME A BODYMIND COACH .............. 327 HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT .................... 328 FIDEL FORDE

HOW WE LIVE BODYMIND ..... 335 LAURA WIECK

AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY .... 336 CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACH DIRECTORY .................. 338 BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACH DIRECTORY .................. 341 NAVIGATING ............. BACK COVER

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contents

Come on inside... Hello amazing one! This month we are re-defining healing.I know this is a big subject, especially right now with everything that is happening around the world — there is a deep desire for healing. I’m curious, when I say the word healing, what shows up for you? Up until now, what has the word healing meant for you?

What if there was a different definition? What if there was actually a different process unfolding? What if the healing so many of us are seeking is actually something totally different? As you read through these powerful and moving stories, my hope is that you can start to look at how healing shows up in your life and how that energy might be calling you, awakening you or inviting you to go deeper, to connect and to love. I invite you to find a quiet space, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s connect and explore together.

Remember, you are the gift. You are always the gift. And we are in this together. With love, Laura

the redeﬁning healing issue 289289

Carly Clark Zimmer :: HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB

lava lamp bubbles in the corner of a tapestry covered room. The air is thick with smoke as I sit nestled between the band members. That was back when smoking was still considered cool. We had just come back from watching the Ithaca-based band, Plastic Nebraska, play their latest gig. I felt so cool hanging with talented musicians and their friends who were all working on degrees in art and literature.

But, impostor syndrome was my trusty side-kick in those days. “You have nothing to say. Nothing interesting to add to the conversation.” I was always internally uncomfortable as I listened to each of the hip twenty-somethings tell story after story that left the room enthralled in conversation and laughter. Then, the moment I had been dreading came, and the attention 290

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB turned to me, the silent side-kick to my extroverted and naturally interesting cousin Molly, who was dating the drummer. “What about you, Carly? Tell us a story!” I was 16 years old and felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. I had stories, but nothing felt worthy of this crowd. After all, I grew up in a small town on a farm with three brothers and some animals.

I froze. The stress response started to kick in... “No No No!” I thought to myself, “Not here, not now!” My face got bright red, and I started to sweat; my throat started to close up, my thoughts swirled, and I searched for the perfect thing to say. All I wanted was to be a part of this group and to feel like I fit in. But, I did not like having the attention on me — the silent impostor, spotted! I searched for the quickest way to get everyone’s eyes off of me and recall sharing something about saving our goat from the swimming pool, which when I think back on it, was actually a pretty good story! It did the trick. It got a few laughs, and more importantly, it was enough to move the room’s attention on to something and someone else. 292

Then, the post-freeze response mind chatter took over my brain for the rest of the night. “You will never be cool or interesting. Everything you have to say is boring. Why can’t you be more like Molly and just relax?”

Why am I telling you this? Healing the chronic freeze stress response pattern has been a deep and profound internal journey for me in allowing myself to be seen. I’m sharing it for those of you who might relate, in hopes that you too will begin to heal the part of yourself that feels like you need to protect yourself from being seen. I also want to acknowledge that others have endured the pain of physical injury or illness, traumatic loss and/or experiences that I have not, and it is not lost on me the privilege I hold in sharing an experience that was not, in fact, life threatening. The fascinating thing is our body does not know the difference. Our physiology is still operating with internal programming of the flight, fight, freeze life-saving responses from the days when we literally had to fear for our lives on a daily basis with predators lurking in the bushes searching for their next meal. For twelve years in my massage practice, I saw all kinds of physical manifestations of the chronic stress response. From digestive problems to back pain to medically induced trauma to what the medical world calls idiopathic 293

Carly Clark Zimmer :: HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB illness, which is usually related to the body stuck in a chronic stress response. Massage therapy was the gift I discovered I had that helped people feel relief from these physical and emotional discomforts, and I didn’t have to speak for most of the session! I scored the perfect career! But a few years into my career, I realized my clients were not getting better. Massage was just a temporary band-aid for what was really happening internally. It led me to question what was required for real healing to take place, and it ultimately led me to BodyMind coaching. Through conscious conversation, focused attention, and action, my clients actually started to heal. .................................................................................................................................. I found that the body heals best when there are five conditions present. 1. Attention: Awareness and attention so that you notice when the stress response is occurring so that you can consciously make a different choice. 2. Safety: Choosing to put yourself in a safe environment so that your body feels safe enough to let down your guard so the stress chemicals can turn off and the body’s natural healing process can begin. 3. Healing: Giving yourself what you need to heal. This could be something physical like rest or emotional like self-compassion. 4. Repetition: Allow a new habit to form through repetition, replacing the chronic stress response with your new healing habit. 5. Time: It takes time to rewire our nervous system. When you consciously choose the steps above, over time your new neural pathway will become the default process. 294

.................................................................................................................................. Essentially you are creating a new environment that allows you to rewire the default stress response in your body so that your new go-to response is not firing off stress chemicals that, when chronically showing up in your system, can cause damage and illness. So what does this have to do with my story about being a quiet teenager hanging out with people much older and cooler than I was? (Yes, I was under-age hanging out in bars. That is a story for another time!) Because, when I share about what it feels like to have a fear of being seen and the

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When I started receiving BodyMind coaching, I was able to rewire the fear of being seen and it has been a profoundly healing internal process for that little girl who felt like she was boring, uninteresting, and would never have anything important to say let alone make a big positive impact in the world. In hindsight, it’s only been a handful of years, and I now lead group coaching programs, actually enjoy doing live interviews, and even teach live in front of a room full of people at the BodyMind coaching retreats! I won’t pretend that the internal flutter is completely gone when I’m about to have all eyes on me. I still get a little sweaty and red in the face when it’s my turn to speak. However, it is no longer the paralyzing agony of stress chemicals pumping through my system, my voice shaking and making my heart feel like it is going to beat out of my chest. The process of moving through the discomfort of being seen and valuing myself enough to believe that I have something to say and add to the conversation has been a beautiful internal healing process for me.

fiery internal process happening on the inside, I’ve found many people can relate and feel the same way.

Each time I show up and speak up, I heal a little more. I keep going even though sometimes I still get a zing of fear through my entire system that feels kind of like an electrical shock. And I know it’s temporary and I won’t actually die! This has cultivated a deep trust that allows me to dance without the fear of being seen instead of letting it prevent me from showing up, speaking up and doing the work I know I’m meant to do.

Even if I falter, I will be there for myself.

And that has been the most profound healing journey so far in my entire life. I wonder what the world might look like if all of those heart-centered people who have a huge desire to make an impact in the world actually allowed themselves to be seen and heard? Who would heal and what ripple effect would that have on society? These are the questions I ask myself daily and my motivation for helping the quiet souls of the world move through their own healing journey so that they can finally be seen and make the impact they know they are here to make!

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB

Carly Clark Zimmer is a Certified BodyMind Coach & Consultant for heart-centered business owners. Through her own BodyMind coaching journey, Carly uncovered her knack for helping coaches simplify and streamline their business while bringing their vision and desire to make an impact to life! Carly transitioned to coaching after spending 12 years as a healer and holistic massage therapist. She saw how stress and pain aﬀected the quality of life of her clients and found BodyMind coaching to be THE TOOL to release stored energy and emotions. She quickly realized it also meant she needed to learn how to be a CEO... and she had the tools from BodyMind to do it on her terms. Now she loves to help other coaches and creatives build profitable, aligned businesses by combining smart business tactics with the body-mind connection. Carly is also the Embodied Tech Expert for the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program, and she loves helping the members simplify their 296 business systems so they can focus on the powerful work of serving their clients! When she’s not wearing her coaching hat, she’s hiking the emerald green countryside and enjoying the salty sea air of Galway Ireland, where she lives with her husband Devin. CarlyClarkZimmer.com

Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com First 5

@carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer FB: The Heart Centered Coach Club IG:

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An invitation to you...

¡ ¢ ¢ £ £ ¯

Laura

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING HEALING

Every part of me wanted to turn around and just go home. But the trees were so close on both sides and it had rained the day before, I didn’t want to risk a 20-point turn that would leave me stuck in the woods with no cell service in the middle of nowhere Ohio. I gripped the steering wheel, pressed the gas a little harder, and kept moving forward. What the hell am I doing going to an embodiment retreat now, I thought to myself, I have way too much going on to be away for a week!

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y brain was swirling with the list of all the things I had to do this week, and I didn’t realize it had been at least two miles since Siri had told me to take a turn down a one-lane, dirt road in the middle of nowhere. I looked down at my phone… no cell service. Fuck.

The irony being that the foundation of what I teach is rooted in embodiment. About five miles later, I was back on the main road and approaching my destination, Hope Springs Institute. Having worked at a non-profit field station similar to this, there was something familiar about the property even though this was my first time here: rustic old cabins that required more maintenance than a tiny non-profit could sustain, a community building where all the classes and events take place, and locally-made artwork sprinkled throughout the buildings and grounds to give the place a hippy, eclectic feel. Most importantly, though, were the grounds themself — acres of old-growth forest, hiking trails, meadows bursting with wild flowers and butterflies. My soul knew I needed this week, but my brain continued to resist. I parked my car next to the 298‘oﬃce’ cabin and looked at my phone, still no cell service. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck, my brain swirling even more, I have client calls all week… their internet better be good. The weight of all my responsibilities felt heavy on my shoulders.

Jill went through all the paperwork and told me I’d be staying in the farmhouse in the midnight room. Before walking out the door, I asked her about the internet situation on the property. “Oh! It’s old-fashioned dial up internet!” ... ... ... ... ... I’m the ﬁrst person here, my brain continuing to swirl, I could just go home and nobody would ever know. Just then, a burnt red minivan turned onto the gravel driveway. I knew my chances of escaping were gone when Philip Shepherd, the leader of the Embodiment Retreat, his wife, and three other participants stepped out of the car. Philip, who I had met at one of his previous workshops, came up to me and gave me a big, fully-present, fully-embodied hug hello. His work had changed my life. When I found his first book, New Self, New World, years earlier, it gave voice to so much of what I had been feeling and experiencing with my own clients. It was at the first workshop years earlier when I shared this little project I

“Welcome to Hope Springs!” said a woman in her late forties, who was wearing faded blue jeans and a t-shirt that said, “director.” “You are the first to arrive!”

was working on, called BodyMind Coaching, to which Philip responded, “That is a splendid idea!” While I had been looking forward to this week-long retreat for months (and obviously needed it), my mind with it’s never ending to-do list had no choice but to suck it up and stay. I grabbed my bag and headed towards my room on the second floor of the farmhouse. ... ... ... ... ... The next two days, I could feel myself at war with myself. We spent the mornings and afternoons gathered together in the community building. There were 12 of us total from all over the country here to learn The Embodied Present Process that Philip created. We sat in a circle on the floor, propped up by bolsters and blankets, while Philip would guide us through different embodiment exercises designed to help us surrender back into wholeness and feel the power of the present. In that room, I could feel my mind let go of all the things and my body drop into the sacred space of the present. The change was palpable. And then, I would walk out of the building, check my email and dive back into work. Every evening after dinner, I headed over to

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING HEALING the oﬃce to take my client calls. Jill said the strongest internet connection was in the oﬃce and agreed to let me host my client calls there at night. There was so much going on and I have to be responsible were the stories I continued to repeat in my head. And with each embodiment exercise, something inside me started to soften. ... ... ... ... ... On day three, I woke up feeling a little lighter. And while I still checked my email before breakfast, I didn’t feel the knee-jerk reaction to respond immediately. That morning, Philip said something that caught my attention. He was talking about some of the common blocks that keep us from fully living present and embodied when he mentioned something about ‘responsibility.’ I don’t know if he was intentionally speaking directly to me. But, I felt called out. I hadn’t been fully present the past few days because my brain kept telling me I had to be ‘responsible’. Responsible for my clients. Responsible for my business. Responsible for making money. Responsible for my family.

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My brain swirled down as I thought about all the things I was supposed to be responsible for. I heard my parents raising me to be a good kid and be ‘responsible’ for myself, my friends, and the situation. And then their faces popped into my mind: Jenny and Mark. They were my two best friends who had gone missing in a scuba diving accident over 15 years ago. I was supposed to go with them and I changed my mind. I felt responsible for their death. And ever since, I felt like I had to hold on tightly to everything — control it and micromanage it because I was responsible. The awareness hit me like a ton of bricks. I so desperately wanted to let go but felt like if I did, the people I loved most would die. I had to be responsible. That night at dinner, I shared what showed up around the idea of ‘responsibility’ with Philip. He paused, received my words, and I watched as he waited for the response to come to him. “Laura,” Philip said in a deep, grounded voice, “there is a difference between being ‘responsible’ and feeling like you have to hold it all together and being ‘responseable’ which is about being fully present and embodied so that you can respond from a place of wholeness.”

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING HEALING Philip’s words always had a way of landing so that you didn’t just understand them, you felt them. I went back to my room and cancelled all my meetings for the rest of the week before I could think my way out of it. I had been holding ‘it’ together for so long in an effort to be ‘responsible’ that I had completely lost my sense of being ‘response-able’. My mind was ﬁnally ready to fully BE here in this experience. ... ... ... ... ... On our final full day there, Philip explained to the group that we would each have an opportunity to do the ‘Mirror’ exercise in front of the group before we departed the next day. The exercise looked simple enough — you get into a lunge position with one leg forward and one leg backward and your arms out to the side while reciting a memorized line of text. The intention was to go from repeating words in your head to feeling the energy of your body and letting that move the words through you. Philip always said, “Present nothing, experience everything.” This exercise was all about living the experience of the text, not just presenting the words in a disconnected performance.

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The ‘Mirror’ exercise got its name because Philip would mirror the lung position and reflect back to you where you block yourself from being fully embodied.

I watched two other participants volunteer to go first. You could see how hard their brains worked to ‘present’ their text and the moment they felt the physical sensations of their bodies, their words had a depth behind them that drew me in and took me on the journey with them. When they were done, it was as if their whole being had changed in that exercise. It was as if they found something they were looking for that had eluded them their whole life. I immediately raised my hand to go next. It was time to rip off the bandaid. Philip smiled and nodded his head just slightly, “Won’t you join me, Laura?” My heart was racing. Even though these people were starting to become friends, I felt like this exercise left me vulnerable. “Shall we begin?” Philip smiled again and waited for me to get into the lunge position and lift my arms out to my side. As soon as I did, he looked straight into my eyes and nodded for me to begin.

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING HEALING

“Who’s to say… what’s impossible...” Philip stopped me, “Notice how you hold your breath to present the words, feel them instead.” What the fuck does that mean? I thought to myself as I started to feel a heat rise up from my legs, which were still in a lunge position. “Take a nice sigh and feel the words from the base of your pelvic bowl,” Philip gently said, as if the lunge position didn’t even phase him. He nodded, and I let out a deep sigh and felt my awareness drift down a little lower in my belly. “Ahhhhhhh… Who’s to say…. What’s impossible… well they forgot… this… world… keeps… spinning.” “You’re going back into presentation mode, Laura,” It was like Philip could see how, even in the annunciation of a word, I was trying to control things and make them perfect.

I was exposed

with nowhere to hide. 304

I took a deep breath, stared back into Philips eyes, and started reciting the lines from one of my favorite Jack Johnson songs.

This continued for another five minutes. Back and forth. Line after line. Why the hell had I chosen such a long text? My legs were burning and beginning to shake and that’s when Philip leaned in ever so slightly, “Are your legs on fire?” A guttural, “YES,” hissed out of my lips. “Good,” Philip said, his facial expression matching the hell happening in my arms and legs, “FEEL it.” Suddenly, tears welled up in my eyes. It was as if, in this moment, someone had finally given me permission to feel everything I had suppressed my entire life — the endless grief of the loss of my friends, the guilt that had torn me up inside, the pressure to be ‘responsible’ and not let anyone down at the expense of myself… all of it welled up in me and a wave of sadness took over me. I couldn’t hide it anymore. I couldn’t hold it back. A tsunami of emotion was rising out of me and the only place it could go was out. Philip saw the wave and in the 304 softest whisper that only I could hear he said, “Let that energy speak for you.” I took a deep breath and sighed out on the exhale. And somewhere, deep within, a voice came charging out of me. She was powerful. She was grounded. She was holy. She was a goddess. She was alive in wholeness. She was the part of me I had suppressed all these years.

And then she spoke... “I want to turn the whole thing upside down… I’ll ﬁnd the things they say… just… can’t… be… found... “ I felt like the world was rising up to meet my words. I felt the room lean in and continued, “I’ll share this love… with everyone… we’ll sing… and dance… to mother nature’s song... “ A final tear rolled down my face as the last line came out like a whisper, “I don’t want this feeling to go away.” I looked up at Philip, a tear was falling down his cheek. He stood up out of his lunge, signaling that I could do the same. I had almost forgotten that I had been lunging for nearly ten minutes. As he leaned in to give me a hug, he softly said, “There you are.” ... ... ... ... ... That night, we all hung out by the bonfire, watching the stars. But what made this night different was that I felt like I didn’t just see the stars… I could feel the stars. I could feel the connection within all of us and through all of us. And while I still had more questions than answers, I felt like I had found what I had been looking for for years. Before heading to bed, I took one selfie to remember the moment and texted it to my husband. I wasn’t going home a new woman. I was going home an embodied woman.

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING SHATTERED HEALING Laura Wieck Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work.

After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that 306 gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life.

‘I wanted to share with you a story of when I felt grace....’ (CLICK THE IMAGE

Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, young son, and two well-loved pups.

ABOVE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

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BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: MELISSA KELLEY

An interview with Laura Wieck and Melissa Kelley...

WHAT DOES BODYMIND LIVING MEAN TO YOU?

“T

he short answer to that is havinig the tools to live and be and always steer from my heart space. I’ve learned and come to understand there’s always a dance between head and heart.

BodyMind Living is inviting some grace into the messy space and remembering that my answers are always, always, always within, right? Choosing from that ‘within’ space, showing up from that space, and even seeking from that space is BodyMind living. .I think so often we look outside of ourselves, I thiink that’s human nature, so taking a moment to pause and breathe takes us back within.” —Melissa Kelley (14 minute video)

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Melissa Kelley :: YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU CANNOT ACKNOWLE

t was a rare gem of a northeastern winter day. One of those days that is so unseasonably warm you find yourself feeling a bit mixed up. An initial surge of surprise and delight bolstered with genuine concern for mother nature. It was the last weekend in February 2017, and it was an incredible 75°F outside.

The day felt like a gift...

... a reminder that winter was waning and offering us a sneak peek of the up and coming spring weather. Our fall season had been hectic, and our garden had fallen to the wayside. My husband and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather by clearing the garden and preparing for spring.

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EDGE The day had been full. Sunshine. Fresh air. The satisfaction of a day’s work in the garden is one of my absolute favorite feelings. Our bellies were rumbling and the sun was fading into the western sky. We finished picking up our tools and headed into the garage. I kicked off my garden boots, savoring the earthy smell of the mud I had tracked in with me. I continued to the kitchen, washed my hands and began to prepare for dinner. The menu was sloppy joes and roasted potatoes. Ground meat simmering in the pan, I preheated the oven and moved on to prepping the potatoes. What happened next is etched in my memory like a tattoo. I was using a mandoline slicer to prepare the potatoes. Somewhere around my third potato I froze in absolute horror. It seemed like it happened — this sequence of events — all inside of the same motion. The safety guard on the mandoline had slid off, mid-slice, and before I even had a chance to register what was happening, my thumb and the potato met the blade together. My body responded faster than my mind. I could feel the adrenaline and cortisol pumping through my system. Although it was clear to me what had just happened, another part of me knew that I was not yet ready to evaluate the extent of my injury.

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Melissa Kelley :: YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU CANNOT ACKNOWLE

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EDGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I did not look at my thumb. I covered it, applied pressure, and calmly walked out to the garage to find my husband. “Hey, I need your help please,” I said. “Yup, let me finish up what I’m working on. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he responded. I approached him directly, made eye contact, and said, “No, NOW. I need you to come inside with me NOW.” He looked up, confused, concerned, and followed me as I led him through the house to the bathroom. “I cut my thumb. I sliced it — with the mandoline. I’m pretty sure I’m in shock, and I need you to look at it. See how bad it is.” His eyes were huge. “Ok,” he said. I offered him my thumb while I looked away. “Hmm, yeah,” he said, while turning to exit the bathroom. “Where are you going??” I asked. “I’m going to look in the bowl of potatoes, to see how much of your flesh is in the bowl.” FUCK. I felt panic washing over my interior. By now I had perched myself on the side of the bathtub. My legs were wobbly and my heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. My thumb felt hot. It was pulsing with an angry throb. It had its own heart beat. 311311

Melissa Kelley :: YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU CANNOT ACKNOWLE

I spent our drive to the hospital allowing it to all sink in. How in the hell did we get here? We had just had THE MOST AMAZING DAY. The kind of day that starts out pretty ordinary, and out of nowhere graces you with something magical, like 75°, sunshine and gardening in February. Things were so good. Until they weren’t.

I also knew

that, no matter

what, I’d be ok. I realized that it wasn’t so much about the outcome with my thumb, or even the incident itself. The truth in that moment was that I felt scared to fucking death about what this would mean for my work. My schedule, booked out for the next 8 weeks kept flashing through my mind. I felt spinny, light headed and nauseous. It wasn’t the pain. It was the fear. Fourteen years as a massage therapist and nothing major had ever befallen my hands or my health. I prided myself on the careful awareness I brought to all tasks, always mindful of caring for my hands. I had sustained occasional annoying cuts, a few small burns from our wood stove, and nothing else. Ever. Until that day. And that day was a doozie. 312

My hubby returned to properly wrap my injury, and we set out for the ER.

The physician that treated me was cool as a cucumber. I listened as she described the wound — because I still wasn’t ready to look at it. “Well, it’s a clean slice, that’s for sure. No stitches, there’s nothing to stitch. You’ve completely sliced off the tip of your thumb (including the nail) on the lateral side. It will heal. But it’s going to take a while. Several months. There’s no way to know if it will fully regain its shape. If you’re lucky the nerve damage will be minimal. Keep it clean and covered.” She re-wrapped it and sent us on our way. Ugh. Upon returning home I collapsed on my bed in an exhausted heap and cried myself to sleep. I’m not gonna lie. I spent the next few weeks suspended in a state of paralyzed wallowing. I contacted my clients, and cleared my schedule for the next 14 days. I knew that wouldn’t be enough time, but it was a place to start. It allowed me the space to consider my options. 312

In the meantime, I still hadn’t looked at my wound. My husband helped me keep it clean and wrapped, applying new dressing each day. Every time he unwrapped it, I would look away. I had become familiar with it through the bandaging. I palpated it, learning the tender parts, getting a sense of the shape. I was very aware that

EDGE

Somewhere around day ten, my husband called me out. “It’s time for you to accept this. You need to look at your thumb.” I knew he was right. I knew it was time. “Okay,” I said, as I looked away again. It took me a few more days to steel myself for the big reveal. It really wasn’t dramatic. It was mostly how I had imagined it would look. It was my thumb, minus the tip on the left side, at a super clean angle. What I noticed next hooked my attention. Although the wound was clean, it was clear to me that it had not yet started to heal. My husband’s words looped through my head as I recalled what had become a routine conversation. “How does it look?” I would ask. “The same as it did yesterday and the day before. No better, no worse,” he would reply. From that day forward, I took over the full care of my injury. It didn’t take long to notice a difference. Healing was happening. Each day there was measurable progress. It seemed to me that during the time I was avoiding the acceptance of my injury, through my stage of wallowing in indecision, the healing process was also held in a suspended state.

beneath the wrappings my injury was raw, exposed and incredibly vulnerable.

I have never felt that way about an injury, ever, before or since. I think a lot of it was about allowing the space for my mind to process and catch up. I needed time to come to terms with the bigger implications I was facing. While the emergency had been managed, it took days to flush the surge of stress hormones from my tissues. It took even longer to accept that it was time to change the way I worked with my clients. And, to land in one of the biggest lessons of my healing journey.

You cannot heal what you don’t acknowledge. You cannot change what you are unwilling to see. The injury to my thumb was a physical metaphor for an inner process that had been unfolding for many months. It had been nearly a year since I had enrolled in the BodyMind Coaching program. I had completed my training and had been baby stepping towards shifting the way I worked with clients. Moving away from hands-on work into full time coaching was my goal, and I had been scared to go all in. Scared that I would lose my clients, that they wouldn’t value coaching the same way they valued massage. I was scared that I would fail, that I would ruin the business I had been developing for fourteen years.

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Melissa Kelley :: YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU CANNOT ACKNOWLE

The truth is, the closer we get to what we want, the higher the likelihood we will look for a way to high-tail it back towards something familiar. Even if what is familiar isn’t working. Even if we’re kind of miserable. Because what’s familiar feels safe. To balance this out, sometimes life shows up and jolts us awake with a disruption. If we are paying attention, we recognize that it’s a call to action. An invitation to pivot. I feel like our industry portrays the pivot as a seamless process. I don’t agree. Sometimes it’s hard and messy. Sometimes you feel fierce and sometimes you feel defeated. It’s okay. This is where the healing is happening. A series of moments, choices and subtle shifts nudging us along and supporting us in learning to face the places we fear the most. In choosing the perspective to view my injury as an opportunity, I reached out to all of my clients. I offered them the option to shift to a coaching framework. Many of them accepted. Some did not. And that felt okay too. I referred them on to other trusted practitioners in my area so that they could receive the work that felt most aligned for them. 314

I believe the injury to my thumb was a gift. It was an opportunity in disguise. It was a catalyst, accelerating a process that had already been put into motion. It forced me to call bullshit on myself, step out of my funk and cross the threshold of choosing what I really wanted.

My thumb healed beautifully. I was able to be patient and present to my healing process, which took several months. The skin and tissue grew back and I am happy to share that I do not have a flat thumb. It’s mostly round and thumb shaped with minimal nerve damage. I feel a bit of an electrical zing when I apply pressure to it, but I’ve come to appreciate the sensation. It’s a powerful reminder of my own healing. Several weeks ago I was on my way home from running some errands. I found myself waiting at a stop sign directly across the street from my old office. Traffic was heavy. I sat there for awhile, and then I was struck by the vantage point. I felt my focus shift from the humdrum drive home to the full circle moment in front of me. I was invited to fully embody the awareness of where I am now in contrast to the memory of where I used to be. For so many years of my massage practice, managing a physical location had felt heavy. I remembered that once upon a time, I fought against myself and my inner wisdom every day. All of me desperately longed to be free from the overhead and responsibility of having an office. I endured because it was familiar. I endured because I didn’t want to let people down. I endured because my logical brain couldn’t yet see the bigger vision. That last Saturday of February 2017 was magical. It was an incredible 75° and we worked in

EDGE

Fast forward to February 2021. Waiting for my turn at the stop sign across the street from my old oﬃce, I let my heart feel all the feels. I let the floodgates open and allowed the tears of gratitude to flow freely. I understood how every piece of my own healing journey has always been about learning to trust myself, learning to lean into the scary places and trust that I will emerge on the other side.

You cannot heal what you don’t acknowledge. You cannot change what you are unwilling to see.

the garden all day. It was also the day the universe tapped me on the shoulder and said, “It’s time,” and challenged me to step up. To step into the next chapter of my healing and begin trusting my inner knowing. The choices I put into motion as a result of my injury that day are the same choices that supported me in ultimately releasing my physical space the following year and transitioning to 100% remote coaching.

Melissa Kelley is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community. Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth & transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions. SacredShe.life 315

Heidi Metro :: IT DIDN’T HURT ANY MORE

We all have these people in our lives. The ones who we were close to. The one who we pinned our friendship hopes on. The ones who we were sure “got us” and were in it for the long haul. The friend we’d waited for who just was so in sync with us. The one who understood us on a cellular level and just made life so fun and interesting.

Until they don’t. And won’t anymore. Until it’s done.

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esterday I was at Trader Joe’s and I saw someone I “used to know.”

So, I was in the produce section getting apples when I spotted this man that looked familiar. Of course we were masked and bundled for snowy weather, so it’s always kind of a “how do I know that guy?” kind of situation. There was no indication of recognition on his part, so I just kept picking apples. And then I was cruising the frozen food aisle that has all the ridiculous sweets on the shelf above the rows of frozen goodness (I’m looking at you dark chocolate covered marshmallows), and then I saw her. The “how do I know that guy’s” wife. “The one I used to know.” Insert movie slow-motion effect. If she recognized me, I’ll never know. Our eyes didn’t meet. But I recognized her. And we passed one another. And that was it. I’d waited for this very moment for five plus years. And then, it was over. Seemingly just for me. I’d pondered when it would happen. Where it would happen. But that stopped several years ago. I’d

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I pushed my cart to the check-out, had an awesome conversation with the gal who rang me up, and went out to my car. That was it. I kept waiting for THAT feeling. The one that feels like someone punched you in the heart, and just when relief washes through, you get punched again. I kept waiting for the grief. The flow of tears. The questions of “What did I do wrong?” and “Why can’t we figure this out?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

honestly stopped pondering. I had done my work. Life had moved on.

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Heidi Metro :: IT DIDN’T HURT ANY MORE

But it never came. I felt… neutral. It didn’t hurt anymore. Huh. Well… there you go. Even as I write this, I’m searching my physiology for remnants of pain. And there isn’t any. There is some nostalgia. But no pain. Nothing. When our friendship began, it was the one I had waited for as an adult. It was the one that I was so excited about because we’d both lived a life and been through tough times. We were both married and had kiddos and were in business. We even brought a new friend into the mix, and it was so wonderful. For all of us. A refuge. A safe space. The three musketeers taking on the world and collaborating in business. Until it wasn’t. Until the honeymoon was over. Until the misunderstandings and human shortcomings and disappointments created a rift that just couldn’t be repaired. Until the hurt was too much. Until heartbreak happened.

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I kept waiting for the instant replay on the jumbotron of my consciousness to show me the images of failed communication, the codependency, the lack of boundaries, the desperation of approval seeking, the loss of friendship and subsequent self-flagellation that comes from a “failure.”

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And communication ceased. And lines were drawn. And sides were taken. And leases were nixed. This was my first friend divorce as an adult. And it was brutal. And it was me on the other side of the bridge from them. It crossed so many planes of my existence. My spirituality. My parenthood. My business. My family. And the pain was so visceral. So constant. This “divorce” happened soon after the birth of my third child. After the collapse of the housing market. The loss of my savings. My home. My dignity. My marriage… almost. It seemed that all of my structures needed to crumble.

And that is so painful. Physically. Emotionally. Financially. Spiritually.

This particular loss was like an insult to injury because they had been there through the thick of the challenges. They KNEW me, and they knew my vulnerabilities. My weaknesses. My fears. I was exposed. This was a time in my life where boundaries were coming up over and over again. Again. Damn. It became imperative for me to learn where I was over-functioning out of fear and lack. It was a time where I had to finally 319319

Heidi Metro :: IT DIDN’T HURT ANY MORE

That pain was all mine. That brokenness was not visible. The world did not stop for my pain. The universe kept expanding whether I was okay or not. It was THE MOST deliberate time of my life. I looked at ALL of my structures and began to understand what was most essential.

The primary

focus had to be my health.

My physical, emotional, spiritual, familial, and financial health. And thus, healing began. Sometimes, oftentimes, healing (as a verb, an action) means the acceptance that some things are not going to go the way you want. Thus, healing, by nature, begins with hurt. Acknowledging the hurt, naming it, giving voice to what you’re feeling, is so important. There is a seductive tone to the word healing that can be so misleading like a siren in the sea. It sounds good. It sounds so natural. Like a given. And yet… healing can be excruciating. 320

answer the question, “Who do you think you are?” And answer it from a place of compassion and the humility that comes from true surrender to the Divine.

The sooner we acknowledge the inherent paradox that healing actually hurts, the sooner we can allow the surrender necessary to actually experience the WHOLENESS that is healing. When I was at the bottom and looking up and feeling so broken, if you were to have told me that I was still whole, I would have wanted to kick your ass. NOTHING about that place felt whole. I was fractured and hurting and lonely. Even still, I began the work of healing and embodying this new self with the knowing that there was also no cure for our friendship. It was indeed dead. Along with many structures that had been in place. It was an overhaul. A new beginning. My healing journey, whether it’s physical or otherwise, pretty much follows that predictable path. What it always boils down to is surrender. When we are brave enough to be with what is and surrender to the not knowing, life can come forward in new ways. We are designed, as nature, to heal. To begin again. Pain or injury due to loss, whether 320 of a relationship, a person, a business, an idea, is part of our experience. And so is healing. The broken pieces are a part of the whole experience. Being able to navigate the knowing that some things will never go back together is part of the hybrid (human/divine) experience. That awareness in and of itself will create spaciousness for healing, and the essence of healing is a recognition of wholeness.

Heidi’s daughter asks, ‘Mama, is it going to hurt?’ (CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

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Michelle Rockwood :: WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP?

“U

h... mom?” my four-yearold son’s voice quivered. I glanced up to see blood quickly running down his forehead, seeping through his blonde hair. I tried to move, but my legs were like lead. I couldn’t understand what was happening; my brain couldn’t react. I stood frozen. “I’m bleeding!” he said. Finally, I grabbed a towel, put it on his head, and laid him down, but the bleeding wouldn’t stop. Ambulance? Drive to the ER? There were two additional kids at home, one a newborn. “Think, Michelle, think.” I dialed 911, had my older son run to the neighbors, and then somehow — within what seemed like seconds — my mom arrived, and my son and I drove off. I can still picture him in the rearview mirror, so unaware of the severity of his cut, his little body only partly strapped into his car seat as he held a towel to his head.

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Michelle Rockwood :: WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP?

It’s weird how our bodies work — magnificent, really. To be able to think clearly and rationally in the moment of danger — bandaging the wound, driving the car, and making split-second decisions. That’s how we hope we will react, and very often do... and in reality, how we respond to extreme suffering, pain and trauma varies. My son had somehow fallen over and pinched his head under the leg of the heavy chair he was sitting on, slicing his head in the process. Just before he fell, he asked me to help him. He had called out to me and said, “Mom, help me. I’m not joking.” I didn’t help him. I was annoyed, and I told him to do it himself, to sit up straight and stop goofing around in his chair.

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I pulled into the hospital parking lot and the staff grabbed my son from me and went to work on him. As soon as he was out of sight, it hit me. My adrenaline started to come down, and the room started to spin. The nurse gave me a cookie and some juice, as I struggled not to become patient number two. I pulled the trash can close, just in case.

Why? Why didn’t I get up off the floor and help him? Why did I choose to ignore his pleas for attention and allow him to fall? If I had just made a slightly different decision, we wouldn’t be in the ER, examining the scar on his forehead that he may have for life.

Why, why, why? I think we all do this. Try desperately to turn back time so we can make a different choice. I beat myself up for nearly one full year. I consulted plastic surgeons about my son’s scar, and I insisted he wear a bandage for one full year to keep it out of the sun. It’s in every picture that year, his 324 little bandaged forehead. And then there’s me, staring at the photos wanting to throw up from guilt and shame each time I see one of those pictures, his perfect face now scarred. As I write this story, I’m getting emotional and soaking my sleeve in tears. I had done everything right, and still, it happened. I had a baby gate up, dozens of

In fact, this fight with reality causes us incredible suffering. So, even though I cry to myself as I’m writing this, I truly wouldn’t change that horrible thing that happened because that would change the boy he is and the man he will become. Don’t misunderstand, this is not a story about accepting horrible things that happen to you. For me, with both physical and emotional wounds there is a freedom in acknowledging that

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smoke alarms, security system, medicine stored out of reach. In fact, I had insisted my son drink a kale smoothie that day, which is why he was in the chair in the first place. Horrible things just simply happen and no amount of wishing the outcome differently changes it.

the bruise will always be there. It will never leave. It’s now a part of us, a part of our path. And if, just maybe, one day we can look at it, touch it gently and not feel a shooting pain... well, then we’ve started to heal. A never-ending and always evolving process of pain, anger, acceptance, and on and on again. Through our work as BodyMind Coaches and in this community, I’ve learned to heal in ways I never knew possible. I’ve redefined what it means to be supported and be a part of others’ healing, and I’ve found deep comfort in the process, however painful.

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Michelle Rockwood BodyMind Enrollment Coach Michelle Rockwood is a fierce and loving Heart-Centered Sales expert for BodyMind Coaching’s 9-month Certification program. She teaches clients the most joyful way to master the sales conversation so they can sell their coaching programs with love, ease and grace. Michelle also runs a program called Sisterhood Rising, it’s designed for badass women ready to reclaim their brilliance. She loves her work and cares deeply for her clients, her family and the world. Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo326 and her new puppy Ruby. You can connect with Michelle here: TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

What is it like to become a BodyMind Coach?

As a master coach and Licensed Massage Therapist with over 12 years experience, I know there’s a better way to work. How? Because I transformed my heart-centered, hands-on business myself.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It’s my mission to give heart-centered therapists like you the tools to serve your clients and help them achieve lasting results, without you burning yourself out in the process.

Not so many years ago, I was where you might be right now: overworked, exhausted and on the brink of burnout.

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At the time I was working as a successful massage therapist. I had great retention rates, clients regularly referred their friends, and consequently, I was always booked solid.

through the self-care steps they should take themselves at home before our next session. IS THIS YOU? I knew my clients wouldn’t get lasting results unless I challenged them to address the habits, behavioral patterns, and limiting beliefs that created their stress in the first place and kept them coming back, session after session. The realization that massage could only really treat the symptoms of my clients’ stress and not the cause, led me to incorporate coaching conversations into my sessions. Once my clients realized the connection between their emotional wellbeing and their physical pain, everything changed. Instead of showing up for sessions having ignored all the aftercare advice I gave them the previous week, they actually began to implement it — willingly! I’ve since coached hundreds of clients using BodyMind Coaching, and now I want to show you how you can use this powerful coaching conversation strategy to transform your business and accelerate your clients’ results, too. — Laura Wieck

Interested in becoming a BodyMind Coach? Click here for more information.

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Fidel Melissa Forde Kelley :: HE :: SELF-CARE LOVES ME, IS HEAN LOVES INSIDE MEJOB NOT

y son healed me. I decided that the year my wife was stationed overseas would be the year “I would get to dad,” and redefine what it means to father... not only for my kids, but for me. But I was several months in and I was having a terrible, horrible, very bad day. The thoughts were overwhelming; I was feeling defeated and depleted. I felt like life was on hold. You know, the type of day when you are behind on everything — goals, purpose, business, and the laundry — and you’re out of patience. I was having a terrible, horrible, very bad day. It’s the day when you are aware you are being a jerk and you just don’t care anymore. On that day, I didn’t feel like a good father. I had been doing great and was really proud of the way I had been showing up, but this day in particular was not the same — it was harder for some reason. I went to

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“If one more kid asks me for something or to do something… I don’t even know.” Then, there was the knock on the door. I said, “what do you want?” in a tone that made it clear I didn’t want to be interrupted, and what you have to say is a disruption. Shame on me. My normal response is “yes, come on in,” (a very intentional response). So at the door was Remington, my 5 year old. “Hi Papa, I just wanted to say I love you.” He gave me a hug and then walked out the room. WHAT! My heart caved even as he closed the door behind him. I thought to myself that he loves me even on my worst day. Even after I snapped at him earlier and had an adult temper tantrum. As I sat there, I felt awe and surprise about what had just happened, and then I heard my heart whisper.

He loves me

just because

I’m his dad. It doesn’t matter if or how often I mess up, he loves me anyhow, just because I’m his dad. It’s impossible for him not to love me. It’s impossible for a son to not love

my home oﬃce to do some work, a.k.a. I was retreating.

his father. A son loves his father just because he is his father. It hit me that I’ve been judging, withholding, and limiting my love from my own father. The hidden anger I had toward my father for not being around the way I wanted and needed was really love. I was the only one angry because I love him. It’s impossible for Remington not to to love me, and it’s impossible for me not to love him. Children spell love T.I.M.E., and I associated the time I didn’t have with my father as not being wanted or loved. After picking myself up off the floor and wiping the tears from my face, I felt my body and heart come into alignment. Decision time. In that moment I chose to believe that my father loves me — and I love my father — simply because he’s my dad, no explanation needed. In that moment I felt my heart expand, and I felt a deeper feeling of wholeness. I lived my life stuck in the game of he loves me, he loves me not for too long. My son loves me. It’s my desire that one day my father will know in his heart the same. His son loves him. Although I’ve never heard the words “I love you” from my father, I know he loves me. A few years ago I visited my father and he handed me a photo album. I had forgotten all about it. In the album were all the memories he and I had shared. Many of which 331

Fidel Forde :: HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT

I didn’t remember until I looked through the album. He may not have always been there, and just because I have never heard the words I love you, I know he does. I know not with my head, or by measures of logic, but with my heart. Thank you Remington for loving me at my worst, so that I can become my best. I love you, son! SO WHY CAN’T I HEAL? What if the thing that broke you will be the same thing that heals you? If you’ve been asking yourself “why can’t I heal already,” maybe you are ready to move on from all the hurt... then buckle up baby, because you and I are about to have a conversation. Actually, you are about to have a deeper conversation with yourself because that’s the conversation that matters. This is where you take a deep breath as the next words you read penetrate and move your soul.

What if you never heal? What if healing never comes, then what? “Fidel, why would you say that? The thought of that... I’d be so crushed.” Hang in there friend, I’m going somewhere with this. 332332

What if there is nothing to heal from? What if you are already healed, but you just don’t know it? What if the thought that you need to heal or the thought that you are broken is the reason you can’t? What if healing is the result of doing the things or living the way you would if you were healed? You can’t outrun or hide from your pain just like you can’t run and hide from your healing. They are intertwined. What if your pain is what gives your purpose power, and what if living out that purpose starts your healing? Don’t wait for your healing to start; start because your healing is waiting on you. Every time you feel pain, don’t avoid it, feel it and accept it, because it has something to say. Then ask your pain, “Where would you like to start?”

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Fidel Forde :: HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT

Fidel Forde is a BodyMind & Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Retreat Leader, Massage Therapist, and International Yoga Instructor — aka a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse of a Navy psychologist and a father of three daughters and one son. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout. He is passionate about this work because in 2011 his world was turned upside down. He lost his corporate executive position, struggled to adapt to the multiple relocations and the lifestyle of a military family, and realized that he had no idea how to manage his stress. That is what drove him to the path of becoming a holistic practitioner. He uncovered the power of thebody-mind connection which allowed him to embody his true purpose and gifts of healing, encouraging and empowering others. Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create 334 balance, movement, and hustle with grace. His location-independent business model allows him to travel and work with clients around the world, in person and virtually. Fidel creates one of a kind embodiment retreats for groups and individuals to kick stress to the curb and tap into their personal power.

To connect with Fidel and fuel your spark check him out at: FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde 334

BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: LAURA WIECK

Why is it BodyMind?

“O

ne of the questions I get all the time when people come into my work is ‘ why is it BodyMind?’ Why not MindBody? What does the body come first, and why is it one word?

I’d like for you to have a clear idea of what this means. First and foremost let’s talk about physiologically, because resting at the base of your pelvic bowl, is a brain. You actually have a brain resting in your body. That brain is called the enteric nervous system, and when it was first discovered they called it the second brain because it has so many similarities to the brain in the head. It produces 95% of your serotonin, 50% of your dopamine, and more importantly the information that your body is collecting which is a million times more than your logical thinking brain is being collected and sent up to the head via the vagus nerve. 80–90% of the information traveling along the vagus nerve is going from your body to your brain!” —Laura Wieck

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BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS MARCH 2021

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FIDEL FORDE BodyMind Coach Motivational Speaker Massage Therapist Yoga Instructor Retreat Leader

HEIDI METRO BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients. After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering 336 to Lead From Within by womxn aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. www.heidimetro.com Heidi@TheNewNextLevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD BodyMind Enrollment Coach

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES MARCH 2021

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If you’re amazing at taking care of everyone else — but are starting to feel over-committed and like something’s just not quite right in your life — you should meet Karyn! Karyn Claﬂin is a Master BodyMind Coach with a background in massage, meditation, and yoga who helps folks who have big dreams but the stressful demands of daily life keep getting in the way. If that sounds like you, Karyn can help you focus on the right things, so you can free up space and energy to do the work you know you’re here to do! «

LMT

BodyMind Coach

Kim Fish is a seasoned massage therapist and bodywork coach. For 15 years she has helped hundreds of people transform their relationship with their body through addressing and managing pain and stress. She inspires others to take control of their health through group and private self care sessions. She is a current student of yoga teacher training through and has shifted her business to support clients in the space between massage appointments. She teaches safe, simple and eﬀective self care bodywork sequences, breath work, mindful movements 338 and meditation so that her clients can feel supported, embody confidence and take inspired action that aligns with how they want to feel and with the life they are wanting to create. ¤ ¤

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Osteophathic MT, Massage Therapist, Movement Facilitator As a mom, grandma, and BodyMind Coach, it is her mission to help those she encounters to realize and embrace their power from within so that they can bridge the gap from where they are to where they want to be. After recovering from a personal injury, Laurel has a special interest in working with those who are at “the next chapter” and moving forward into how life might be and what might be possible. She has a zest for life, laughter, and a strong faith that as humans we are all blessed with our own special gifts.

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES MARCH 2021

She loves to support strong, independent womxn in becoming better listeners to their internal wisdom to foster a pattern of abundance in their careers and life, leading to uncomplicated, de-stressed, and empowered living. ¤ ¤

I help frustrated, confused parents awaken to your power to ditch outside rules & traditions that don’t work for you and parent from your heart. If you crave strong, loving family relationships, I can help you trust yourself and forge a path that empowers you & your kids through communication and connection. BodyMind Coaching gave me the permission to be me, to love me, to own my gifts, and truly see the beauty and value I bring to myself and everyone else.

BodyMind Coach Author & Speaker Foreshadowed by a poem she wrote in her childhood entitled “Lost Dreams,” Bobbie Jo eventually found herself at a crossroads, looking within to once again find who she really was. BodyMind Coaching guided her back to herself. Now Bobbie Jo uses her gift of writing to share inspirational and transformational books as well as guided meditations. Through BodyMind Coaching, she helps others connect with their body wisdom to discover and live their true purpose. It is her passion and purpose to be a channel of love inspiring others in reclaiming and living those “lost dreams,” and confidently expressing the truth of who they really are. Because, the world needs who YOU are.

In her experience as owner and operator of Synergy Wellness Group LLC, Shana knows this listening is easier said than done, and we aren’t meant to figure out this amazing life (or body) on our own. It takes practice, specific actions, and support.

BodyMind Associate Coach Big Change Facilitator Massage Therapist

Through her 20+ years of work mastering the power of reﬂection and intention, she discovered that we are our own experts regarding our body and mind if we just learn to listen.

LMT BodyMind Master Coach Ph.D., Educator

BodyMind Master Coach Araina helps overwhelmed women entrepreneurs reduce stress and create the perfect balance between work and life. She is known for a simple step-by-step process that guides women back to their passion to avoid burnout, feel better, have more time, and build their businesses with ease. Finding a balance between work and life is tough. Sometimes despite your ambition, your dreams can feel a bit out of reach, and it can start to cause stress, frustration, and pain. It can be enough to make you want to give up your business. There is a better way! If you’re thinking about closing the doors to your business, please reconsider — introduce some healthy habits into your hustle!

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CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES MARCH 2021

Learn more about Alina and her simple yet powerful programs.

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She started the wellness journey in 2013 by attending massage school and soon found out that helping people connect to their bodies was her passion. She then opened up her own business, Transcend Relaxation, specializing in the emotional aspect of chronic pain. In the pursuit of providing integrative support to her clients, she found the BodyMind Coaching method and now she helps women make positive changes in their lives, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

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BodyMind Coach Christine uses BodyMind Coaching, breathwork, and bodywork, combined with her diverse background in holistic health to best guide her clients to find calm in the chaos. She does this by encouraging clients to honor and love themselves and create a self-care practice that becomes a part of their daily routine.

If you are ready to align with the abundant reality that has been lovingly awaiting you — Alina is here to help you explore your intelligent human design, liberate your holistic integrity, and anchor within your Root Chakra, your source of abundant Core Energy!

BodyMind Coach

BodyMind Coach Wholistic Biz Consultant Licensed Esthetician Creative Entrepreneur

Christine is dedicated to helping womxn discover opportunities to break the patterns and habits around stress to feel best in their body and more present in their lives. 340 Christina and her groundbreaking work is featured here.

RMT The Happy & Healthy Place Chatham, Ontario, Canada BodyMind Coach, RobbinsMadanes Life Coach Yoga Instructor, YTT-200 Bachelor of Health Science Halinka Van Minnen works with women who experience chronic stress and pain, helping them to align with possibility so that they can live happy and healthy on purpose. Through BodyMind Coaching you’ll discover that you don’t have to live as if your body is hijacked by a terrorist or live in a constant state of chaos. Instead you’ll learn to treat your body as an ally learning new behaviour patterns that beat stress, decrease pain and allow you to be fully present in your life.

BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACHES MARCH 2021

You are invited to set down what’s been swirling around in your head, become present in your body, and fully engaged with your natural inner source of wisdom. You have all your answers inside of you. I simply oﬀer the sacred space along with tools and support that will bring YOUR brilliance to the surface so you can run with it! ¤ ¨ª¢ ¢©ª ¢¢¨

RMP Helen is a lover of movement and is fascinated by all things body-mind-soul. As a professional dancer, she learned first-hand how the body and mind must work together to create true strength and resilience. Her understanding of the body was amplified by practicing as a massage therapist for the last 17 years. Over the last five years, a growing desire to give her clients more autonomy over how they feel led to adding the Franklin Method and BodyMind Coaching into the mix. Both of these modalities invite the client to embody how they desire to feel, and take practical steps to get there. When she’s not working with clients, you will likely find her hanging out with her boys (husband and dog Amos) or taking a dance class.

I work with ambitious men and women who are ready to discover how embodiment of their true values brings their personal purpose alive in how they live, work and love.

BodyMind Coach

How would it feel to know that no matter what happens you have a place where you can always go to get the best guidance?

LMT BodyMind Coach, RYT-200

BodyMind Coach Davida Cartwright is an Associate Coach for TeamBodyMind and the owner/operator of a massage business in Terre Haute, IN. An empathic, caring person who loves to help others feel better, she uses BodyMind Coaching to address her client’s issues (rather than just treat the symptoms). When not working, you can find Davida spending time with her 2 teenage boys, reading, singing, riding her motorcycle and spending time outdoors.

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I help stressed and anxious people on a cancer journey experience no matter how much time they have on this Earth without being self-critical and sacrificing time with family. If you want to feel less alone and not have scanxiety, I can help you by holding space for you so that you are seen, heard and understood so that you can move forward and feel fulfilled and do everything you can in your power to live a happy fulfilled life. BodyMind Coaching has positively impacted every facet of my life! It has enabled me to better navigate personal relationships and my own cancer journey to the point where I am now pivoting my business to help people on their own journeys. I am so grateful to live a life BodyMind connected!

BodyMind Coach I work with driven, passionate individuals who are ready to unleash their full potential to calibrate their body and soul to their highest level of living. BodyMind has guided me back to myself and to my authentic life path; it has become my way of living, teaching and coaching.

I also assist with your lack of confidence, fear, stress and anxiety in my equine guided work — Equus Journeys to Confidence and Joy. Horses are an amazing way of attuning to embodied living.

BodyMind Coach, LMT

I help people connect to their body giving voice to it so they can tune in and live more connected. From there they make more empowered choices in their life to create lasting change.

BodyMind Coach, LMT Equine Guided Coach, Lead Mare

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Lead Associate Coach BodyMind Community Manager I help high achieving women step out of “the hustle” and the “I should’s” and guide them to reclaim their power and tune into their intuition so that they can lead a life of financial independence and freedom!!! BodyMind Coaching has supported my personal journey by teaching me the tools and the skills that guided me to TRUST MYSELF!! I have learned to say no to things that don’t light me up and inspire me AND that when I say no to the things that don’t light me up and inspire me I am actually CREATING SPACE for what does.

BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACHES MARCH 2021

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LMT ATC/L, FST, SRT BodyMind Coach (2017) Massage Therapist B.S. in Sports Medicine Certified NATA Athletic Trainer Fascial Stretch Therapist Level 3 Medical Structural Relief Therapist I work with dedicated wellness professionals and body workers who feel overwhelmed , burned out, exhausted, unorganized, stuck, and chained to the demands and antiquated systems of doing business design and create freedom, fun and finances that support a life they love and a business that inspires them to show up their best way! BodyMind with Laura Wieck helped me to find the balance in my work and home life with out feeling guilty about it!

The Rebel Girl Village is a small village where 3 single mother families live harmoniously and raise their children together as a family unit to make their lives better.

Community activist, idea girl, and founder of The Rebel Girl Village, Stephanie Lankford is a dynamic single mama who loves nature and her two imaginative and free-spirited daughters. In 2017 Stephanie took the brave leap to become a single mother and made the crucial choice to live her life authentically and on her own terms. As a BodyMind coach, she helps other single mothers do the same.

LMT BodyMind Master Coach Ph.D., Educator

LTM, CRM I work with heart-centered women who love doing for others, but the constant overgiving has left them feeling lost. My clients know they have a bigger purpose, and I help them learn how to listen to their bodies and discover their intuition so they can start making confident decisions. BodyMind coaching has supported me in so many ways. It has completely transformed every aspect of my life: my relationships, my career, my health, how I view myself, how I move through life everyday. I live authentically and have learned my worth. I have completely transformed my business and I’m in awe of the “work” I get to do.

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Laura Wieck LLC EDITOR Laura Wieck support@LauraWieck.com ART DIRECTION & DESIGN Sandy Bassett sandy@sandybassett.com DISTRIBUTION Subscriptions questions: support@LauraWieck.com To renew or change address: support@LauraWieck.com To subscribe visit BodyMindLiving.com For additional assistance: support@LauraWieck.com MAILING ADDRESS PO Box 21712 Columbus, OH 43221-0712 Reproduction of editorial or advertising content without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. ©2021 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BodyMind Living Magazine, PO Box 21712, Columbus, OH 43221-0712 MARCH 2021..............Issue No 6 BodyMind Living Magazine is published 10 times/year by Laura Wieck LLC. Periodicals postage paid at Columbus, Ohio and additional mailing oﬃces.

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PUBLISHER

IMAGE CREDITS With the stunning images from photographers around the world who contribute to Unsplash, BodyMind Living Magazine benefits greatly and we would like to honor and thank them. Klara Kulikova Pat Whelen Aubree Herrick Lee Yan Benjamin Combs Megan Savoie Fotografierende Jonathan Borba William Farlow Leva Debra O. Photography Lily Saffu

Photographs supplied to us by our team and Ambassadors. Deep gratitude to this amazing cohort of Ambassadors and their courage in being seen and heard in these first six issues of BodyMind Living Magazine. Fidel Forde Melissa Kelley Heidi Metro Michelle Rockwood Laura Wieck Carly Clark Zimmer

the redeﬁning healing issue

Now it’s your turn...

We hope you enjoyed this issue, and as always the conversation continues over at The BodyMind Living Community.

Please join us and let us know a little bit about what showed up for you. How do you define healing in your life?

Was there an opportunity where healing awakens you? Does healing allow you to deepen your expression of life?

We’re so grateful to have you here. Living BodyMind is about living the brilliance of who you are, and sharing that with the world.

JOIN THE BODYMIND LIVING COMMUNITY HERE!

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MEET YOUR BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS MARCH 2021 :: REDEFINING HEALING

FIDEL FORDE PAGE 44

MELISSA KELLEY PAGE 4

What if healing is the result

We cannot heal what

of living as if you already

we won’t acknowledge.

were healed?

LAURA WIECK PAGE 53

I ﬁnally took permission to feel everything I had suppressed my

navigatingHEALING entire life.

HEIDI METRO PAGE 26

We are designed, as nature, to heal. To begin again.

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER PAGE 35

PAGE 10

Even if I falter, I will be

Fighting with reality

there for myself.

causes us incredible suﬀering.

BODYMIND

Wow...

What a wonderful collection of exploring concepts from the holistic community?! After reading and experiencing (or re-reading and re-experiencing) all six issues from our Redefining Collection, I am really curious: what’s next for you? As embodied leaders, we at BodyMind Living advocate for the opportunities that arise when we dive deep into the topics redefined this season … self-care, success, grief, freedom, purpose, and healing. So, I’m curious, what opportunities await you around these topics and your own BodyMind journey? What are you committed to exploring further, taking aligned action toward, or navigating next? Whatever your response, the conversation continues over in the BodyMind Living Community. Join us there to see what else we might redefine and begin navigating with a sense of renewed energy! Supporting you, Shana Hartman, Managing Editor 347

H E A L I N G P U R P O S E S E L F C A R E F R E E D O M G R I E F S U C C E S S

COLLECTION

BodyMind Living Magazine :: The Redefining Collection :: May 2021

Articles inside

AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY

RADICAL SELF-CARE REDEFINED

SELF-CARE IS AN INSIDE JOB

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BECOME A BODYMIND COACH

FILLING YOUR OWN CUP

YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL

RADICAL SELF-CARE

WELCOME

SELF-CARE REDEFINED