HBO’s winning ‘Veep’ delivers a landslide of laughs
By John Crook © Zap2itIf you hold the opinion, as many of us do these days, that Washington, D.C., apparently is a combination of lunatic asylum and day care center for petulant infants, HBO’s new comedy series “Veep,” which premieres on Sunday, April 22, probably won’t change your mind. It just may relieve your frustration with some healthy laughter, however.
The political sitcom, which marks the welcome return of Emmy winner Julia Louis-Dreyfus to series television, views events in the nation’s capital from the perspective of former senator Selina Meyer (Louis-Dreyfus), a career politician who seemed to be on the fast track to the White House until she was elected vice president. Since then, her political life has become a series of comic missteps in which even her best-intentioned efforts get lost in a maze of red tape and personal politics.
In the first episode, for example, Selina is hopeful that her clean-jobs bill is sailing toward an easy approval, thanks in part to a revolutionary new line of eating utensils made from cornstarch. Unfortunately, someone forgot that cornstarch has a tendency to melt in hot liquids, and worse, the new disposable cutlery is threatening to alienate the plastics industry. And far worse yet, where does plastic come from again? Oil.
Uh-oh.
Although HBO is the home of “Real Time With Bill Maher” and such right wing-riling original movies as “Recount” and “Game Change,” “Veep” is refreshingly nonpartisan in the glee with which it picks its targets, largely because neither Selina nor any of her Washington colleagues are clearly identified by their political party. Series creator Armando Iannucci previously had similar bipartisan fun in his Oscar-nominated 2009 political comedy “In the Loop,” and LouisDreyfus says the show can be enjoyed by viewers regardless of their personal politics.
“Armando is, and I think rightly so, very interested in revealing political behavior and not taking a political point of view, other than to say these are human beings in politics,” says the actress, who is also a producer on “Veep.” “I think there is something to be said for that, because since we’re not aligned with a particular party, it’s a show about politics for everyone, and they can get a kick out of the system itself.”
Speaking to TV critics at an HBO press conference a few months ago, Iannucci says most of the public has learned enough about how political sausage is made in Washington to resist a “West Wing”-like depiction of Beltway insiders as selfless public servants.
“There are two types of ways in which Washington has been portrayed before, which is the very noble — everyone is very good at their job, and it’s for the highest ends — or it’s a very cynical, corrupt, rather sinister world,” Iannucci says. “I actually believe the truth is somewhere in between. It’s fundamentally a lot of people trying to get on with a job. Some of them are good at it, and some of them are bad at it. ... And the worst ones are the ones who are bad at it but who think they’re good at it. They’re the most dangerous ones.”
Vice President Selina Meyer isn’t dangerous or incompetent; she’s just stymied and frustrated, chronically asking her executive assistant if the president has called (he hasn’t, pretty much ever) and knowing all too well the chill of preparing to walk into a high-profile press conference only to be told at the very last minute that the president doesn’t want you to talk about any of the stuff you’re there to talk about in the first place.
“As the first season evolves, you will see aspects of her competence come forward, and I believe she is highly competent,”
Money
tied up
Louis-Dreyfus says of her character. “She’s also highly ambitious, but she’s in a position that is somewhat untenable for her. Therein lies the rub. She is a political animal who is caught in a position of power and no power, all at the same time.”
It’s fertile ground for comedy, especially in a future episode wherein the president (always unseen) experiences chest pains while abroad. When that news is delivered, Selina has to visibly struggle to keep her face from lighting up at the notion that her destiny is finally at hand.
It’s a moment that LouisDreyfus plays brilliantly, which is no surprise since the actress has made a career of taking self-absorbed women — comically selfish New Yorker Elaine Benes of “Seinfeld,” for example, or neurotic single mom Christine Campbell in “The New Adventures of Old Christine” — and making them weirdly endearing.
1 x 5.5" ad
Expressions North
What’s all the hype about?
6. State with only three counties: abbr.
7. Bob or Elizabeth
8. “Evening __”
9. Shoot carefully
10. Short-lived 2002-03 medical drama series
15. “Body of __”; 1993 film for Madonna
16. Beach Boys hit song (3)
The
18. “__ Game”; 2006 film for Cuba Gooding Jr.
19. Eins und zwei
21. “__ the Fockers”
24. 1979 Bo Derek movie
25. Number of seasons for “The Jeffersons”
26. Elke’s initials
27. “Pan __”; Christina Ricci series
28. Actor Bruce
30. “Coffee, Tea __ __?”
32. “__ Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs”; 2009 film
34. Tavern owner on “The Simpsons”
35. Series for Ed O’Neill (2)
41. “The Brave __”; 2007 Jodie Foster movie
42. “__ Arabian Nights”; Mr. Magoo flick
43. Stacey’s man
44. Cheers, for one
45. Study at the eleventh hour
46. Jackie, to Roseanne
1. Presidential monogram
2. Age
3. “Sesame Street” fellow
4. Actor Rob
5. __ Larter
19. “They __ With Their Boots On”; Errol Flynn film
20. Gypsy __ Lee
22. Test
23. “The __ Tunnel” (1966-67)
29. “Ghost __”; 2007 Nicolas Cage movie
31. Horseman’s controls
33. Actor Stoltz
34. Injure
35. “Married to the __”; 1988 Michelle Pfeiffer movie
36. “Love __ __ Rooftop” (1966-67)
37. And not
38. Actor Barrett
39. Flowery ring
40. Linear measures: abbr.
PLAYING FIELD HIGHLIGHTS FOR THE WEEK
ACTION SPORTS
Sunday 10:00 a.m. (SPIKE) Xtreme 4x4
Tuesday
3:00 p.m. (MSC) Action Sports World Championships
Friday
4:00 p.m. (MSC) Sports Unlimited
5:00 p.m. (MSC) Action Sports World Tour
11:00 p.m. (MSC) Action Sports World Tour
Saturday 10:00 a.m. ) The Real Winning Edge (SPIKE) Xtreme 4x4
AUTO RACING
Sunday
8:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now (Live)
10:30 a.m. (SPIKE) Horsepower TV
11:00 a.m. (MSC) What’s in Autogeek’s Garage? (SPIKE) Trucks!
11:30 a.m. ) / NASCAR Racing Sprint Cup: STP 400.
(Live)
(MSC) Motorhead Garage TV (SPIKE) MuscleCar
Monday
2:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now (Live)
4:00 p.m. (MSC) What’s in Autogeek’s Garage?
4:30 p.m. (MSC) Motorhead Garage TV
12:30 a.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now Tuesday
2:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now (Live)
3:30 a.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now Wednesday
2:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now (Live) Thursday
2:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now (Live)
5:00 p.m. (MSC) Diesel TV
3:30 a.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now Friday
2:30 p.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now (Live)
3:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Racing Nationwide Series: Richmond 250, Qualifying. (Live)
6:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Countdown (Live)
6:30 p.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Racing Nationwide Series: Richmond 250. (Live)
2:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Racing Nationwide Series: Richmond 250.
Saturday 10:30 a.m. (SPIKE) Horsepower TV
11:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NASCAR Now (Live) (SPIKE) Trucks!
11:30 a.m. (SPIKE) MuscleCar
5:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NHRA Drag Racing O’Reilly Auto Parts Spring Nationals, Qualifying.
(Same-day Tape)
6:00 p.m. ) / NASCAR Racing Sprint Cup: Richmond. (Live)
BASEBALL
Sunday
10:00 a.m. (MSC) Boys in the Hall
11:00 a.m. (ESPN2) Baseball Tonight (Live)
12:00 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
(TBS) Texas Rangers at Detroit Tigers. (Live)
12:30 p.m. (MSC) Minnesota Twins at Tampa Bay Rays. (Live)
(WGN-A) Lead-Off Man
1:10 p.m. (WGN-A) Cincinnati Reds at Chicago Cubs. (Live)
2:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Georgia at Florida. (Live)
3:30 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
4:00 p.m. (MSC) Boys in the Hall
4:15 p.m. (WGN-A) 10th Inning
4:30 p.m. (MSC) Baseball’s
Golden Age
6:00 p.m. (ESPN) Baseball Tonight (Live)
7:00 p.m. (ESPN) New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox.
(Live)
11:30 p.m. (ESPN2) New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox. (Same-day Tape)
2:00 a.m. (MSC) Minnesota Twins at Tampa Bay Rays.
Monday
7:00 a.m. (MSC) Twins Live
6:00 p.m. (ESPN) New York Yankees at Texas Rangers. (Live)
6:30 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
7:00 p.m. (MSC) Boston Red Sox at Minnesota Twins. (Live)
9:00 p.m. (ESPN) Baseball Tonight (Live)
10:00 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
11:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Baseball Tonight (Live)
12:00 a.m. (MSC) Boston Red Sox at Minnesota Twins.
2:00 a.m. (ESPN) New York Yankees at Texas Rangers.
Tuesday
7:00 a.m. (MSC) Baseball’s Golden Age
7:30 a.m. (MSC) Twins Live
12:00 p.m. (MSC) Boston Red Sox at Minnesota Twins.
6:30 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
7:00 p.m. (MSC) Boston Red Sox at Minnesota Twins. (Live)
9:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Baseball
Tonight (Live)
(WGN-A) Chicago White Sox at Oakland Athletics. (Live)
10:00 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
11:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Baseball
Tonight (Live)
12:00 a.m. (MSC) Boston Red Sox at Minnesota Twins.
Wednesday
7:30 a.m. (MSC) Twins Live
1:00 p.m. (WGN-A) MLB Pregame Show
1:10 p.m. (WGN-A) St. Louis Cardinals at Chicago Cubs. (Live)
6:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Teams TBA. (Live)
6:30 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
7:00 p.m. (MSC) Boston Red Sox at Minnesota Twins. (Live)
9:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Baseball Tonight (Live)
10:00 p.m. (MSC)
(WGN-A) Chicago Cubs at Philadelphia Phillies. (Live)
8:00 p.m. (MSC) 50 Greatest Twins
9:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Baseball Tonight (Live)
12:30 a.m. (ESPN2) Baseball Tonight (Live)
2:00 a.m. (MSC) Twins Classics
4:00 a.m. (MSC) 50 Greatest Twins
5:00 a.m. (MSC) 2010 Twins Legends Game
BASKETBALL
Sunday
6:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight
9:30 a.m. (EWTN) Saints Alive
12:00 p.m. (ESPN) New York Knicks at Atlanta Hawks. (Live)
2:00 p.m. % NBA Countdown (Live)
2:30 p.m. % Oklahoma City Thunder at Los Angeles Lakers. (Live)
5:00 p.m. (MSC) Wolves Weekly
5:30 p.m. (MSC) Wolves Live (Live)
6:00 p.m. (MSC) Golden State Warriors at Minnesota Timberwolves. (Live)
8:30 p.m. (MSC) Wolves Live (Live)
1:30 a.m. (ESPN2) New York Knicks at Atlanta Hawks. (Same-day Tape)
2:30 a.m. (ESPN) Oklahoma City Thunder at Los Angeles Lakers. (Same-day Tape)
9:30 p.m. (ESPN) San Antonio Spurs at Phoenix Suns. (Live)
12:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight (Live)
1:30 a.m. (ESPN2) San Antonio Spurs at Phoenix Suns.
(Same-day Tape)
2:00 a.m. (ESPN) Los Angeles Clippers at New York Knicks.
3:30 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight
Thursday
6:30 p.m. (MSC) Wolves Live (Live)
7:00 p.m. (MSC) Denver Nuggets at Minnesota Timberwolves. (Live)
(TNT) New York Knicks at Charlotte Bobcats. (Live)
9:30 p.m. (MSC) Wolves Live
(Live)
(TNT) San Antonio Spurs at Golden State Warriors. (Live)
12:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight (Live)
(MSC) Denver Nuggets at Minnesota Timberwolves.
(TNT) Inside the NBA (Live)
Friday
7:30 a.m. (MSC) Wolves Live
12:00 p.m. (MSC) Denver Nuggets at Minnesota Timberwolves.
12:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight
Saturday
6:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight
12:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight
1:30 p.m. % NBA Countdown (Live)
2:00 p.m. % First Round: Teams TBA. (Live)
4:30 p.m. (TNT) Playoffs, First Round: Teams TBA. (Live)
7:00 p.m. (ESPN) Playoffs, First Round: Teams TBA. (Live)
BOXING
Sunday 8:15 a.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
8:30 a.m. (SHOW) Abner Mares vs. Eric Morel.
Monday
7:15 a.m. (HBO) Floyd Mayweather: Speaking Out
6:00 p.m. (HBO) Floyd Mayweather: Speaking Out
6:30 p.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
11:15 p.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
Tuesday
9:00 p.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
1:40 a.m. (HBO) Face Off With Max Kellerman: Mayweather/Cotto
Wednesday
8:30 a.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
7:15 p.m. (HBO) Portrait of a Fighter: Canelo Alvarez
7:30 p.m. (HBO) Floyd Mayweather: Speaking Out
1:15 a.m. (HBO) Floyd Mayweather: Speaking Out
Thursday
3:30 p.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
Friday
3:45 p.m. (HBO) Portrait of a Fighter: Canelo Alvarez
9:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Boxing (Live)
10:00 p.m. (SHOW) Thomas Oosthuizen vs. Marcus Johnson. (Live)
11:30 p.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
Saturday
9:00 a.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
(WGN-A) Boston Red Sox at Chicago White Sox. (Live)
8:30 p.m. (ESPN2) Baseball Tonight (Live)
11:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Baseball Tonight (Live) Friday
6:30 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
7:00 p.m. (MSC) Kansas City Royals at Minnesota Twins. (Live)
10:00 p.m. (MSC) Twins Live (Live)
11:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Baseball Tonight (Live)
12:00 a.m. (MSC) Kansas City Royals at Minnesota Twins.
Saturday
11:00 a.m. / MLB Player Poll
11:30 a.m. ) / MLB Pregame (Live)
12:00 p.m. ) / Regional Coverage. (Live)
3:00 p.m. ) FOX 9 Twins
Post-Game
5:30 p.m. (WGN-A) MLB Pregame Show
6:00 p.m. (MSC) Twins Classics
4:00 a.m. (MSC) Golden State Warriors at Minnesota Timberwolves.
5:30 a.m. (MSC) Wolves Weekly
Monday
7:30 a.m. (MSC) Wolves Live
5:00 p.m. (EWTN) Saints Alive
6:00 p.m. (MSC) Wolves Weekly
8:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NBA Coast to Coast (Live)
12:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight (Live)
3:00 a.m. (EWTN) Saints Alive
Tuesday
7:00 p.m. (TNT) Miami Heat at Boston Celtics. (Live)
9:30 p.m. (TNT) Phoenix Suns at Utah Jazz. (Live)
12:00 a.m. (TNT) Inside the NBA (Live)
Wednesday
12:30 p.m. (HBO) Runnin’ Rebels of UNLV
6:30 p.m. (ESPN) NBA Countdown (Live)
7:00 p.m. (ESPN) Los Angeles Clippers at New York Knicks. (Live)
9:00 p.m. (EWTN) Saints Alive
9:30 p.m. (ESPN) Playoffs, First Round: Teams TBA. (Live)
12:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight (Live)
1:30 a.m. (ESPN2) NBA Tonight
2:00 a.m. (ESPN) Playoffs, First Round: Teams TBA. (Sameday Tape)
3:00 a.m. (ESPN2) Playoffs, First Round: Teams TBA. (Same-day Tape)
5:00 a.m. (ESPN2) Playoffs, First Round: Teams TBA. (Taped)
BOATING
Sunday
9:30 p.m. (MSC) Volvo Ocean Race
Tuesday
4:00 p.m. (MSC) Volvo Ocean Race
Thursday
6:00 p.m. (MSC) Volvo Ocean Race
BOWLING
Tuesday
6:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Bowling Women’s USBC Queens. (Live)
9:30 a.m. (HBO) Floyd Mayweather: Speaking Out
8:45 p.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
9:15 p.m. (HBO) Chad Dawson vs. Bernard Hopkins, Light Heavyweights. (Live)
11:30 p.m. (HBO) 24/7 Mayweather/Cotto
12:00 a.m. (MSC) Top Rank Boxing: Frankie Leal vs. Roberto Marroquin. (HBO) Floyd Mayweather: Speaking Out FOOTBALL
Sunday
10:30 a.m. (ESPN2) Gruden’s QB Camp
12:00 p.m. (ESPN2) 2012 College Football All-Star Challenge
1:30 p.m. (ESPN2) Flag Football
7:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Year of the Quarterback: Tim TebowEverything in Between
8:30 p.m. (ESPN2) Gruden’s QB Camp
10:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Gruden’s QB Camp
Monday
3:00 p.m. (ESPN) NFL Live (Live)
PLAYING FIELD
HIGHLIGHTS FOR THE WEEK
5:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NFL32 (Live)
6:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NFL Live (Live)
10:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NFL Live
Tuesday
3:00 p.m. (ESPN) NFL Live (Live)
5:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NFL32 (Live)
7:00 p.m. (ESPN) NFL Live (Live)
10:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NFL Live
3:00 a.m. (ESPN2) Gruden’s QB Camp
Wednesday
2:00 p.m. (MSC) The Panel
2:30 p.m. (MSC) The Panel
3:00 p.m. (ESPN) NFL Live (Live) (MSC) The Panel
3:30 p.m. (MSC) The Panel
4:00 p.m. (MSC) The Panel
5:00 p.m. (ESPN2) NFL32 (Live)
4:00 a.m. (ESPN2) NFL Live
Thursday
3:00 p.m. (ESPN) NFL Live (Live)
7:00 p.m. (ESPN) 2012 NFL Draft (Live)
Friday
3:00 p.m. (ESPN) NFL Live (Live)
6:00 p.m. (ESPN) 2012 NFL Draft (Live)
Saturday
11:00 a.m. (ESPN) 2012 NFL Draft (Live)
7:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Year of the Quarterback: Tim TebowEverything in Between
8:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Year of the Quarterback GOLF
Sunday
7:00 a.m. (GOLF) Golf Central
7:30 a.m. (GOLF) Golf Central
8:00 a.m. (GOLF) Volvo China Open, Final Round. (Sameday Tape)
11:30 a.m. (GOLF) Golf Central
Pregame (Live)
12:00 p.m. # _ Champions: Liberty Mutual Legends of Golf, Final Round. (Live) (GOLF) LOTTE Championship, Final Round.
2:00 p.m. # _ Valero Texas Open, Final Round. (Live)
3:00 p.m. (GOLF) Volvo China
Open, Final Round.
5:00 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Central (Live)
6:00 p.m. (GOLF) Top 10 10:30 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Central (Live)
11:30 p.m.
6:30 a.m. (MSC) Babe Winkelman’s Good Fishing
8:00 a.m. (MSC) Keyes Outdoors
9:00 a.m. (MSC) Waters and Woods
(GOLF) On
10:00 p.m. (GOLF) Inside the PGA Tour
p.m. (GOLF) Golf Central
p.m. (GOLF) On the Range 12:00 a.m. (GOLF) On the Range
1:00 a.m. (GOLF) School of Golf
1:30 a.m.
MARTIAL ARTS
Sunday 1:00
(MSC) The Best of Pride Tuesday 4:30 p.m. (MSC) UFC Ultimate
p.m. (MSC) The Best of
9:30 a.m. (MSC) Midwest Outdoors
10:30 a.m. (MSC) Lindner’s Fishing Edge
11:30 a.m. (MSC) Back Roads
12:00 p.m. (MSC) Jason Mitchell Outdoors
6:30 p.m. + Minnesota Bound
5:30 a.m. # Northland Adventures
RODEO
Saturday
1:00 p.m. # _ Bull Riding PBR Built Ford Tough Series: Mohican Sun. (Taped)
SOCCER
Sunday
5:00 p.m. (ESPN2) MLS Soccer New York Red Bulls at D.C. United. (Live)
12:00 a.m. (MSC) Barclays Premier League Review Show
Monday
12:00 p.m. (MSC) English Premier League Soccer
4:00 p.m. (SPIKE) UFC Unleashed 5:00 p.m. (SPIKE) UFC Unleashed
6:00 p.m. (SPIKE) UFC Unleashed
9:00 p.m. (FX) The Ultimate Fighter Live (Live)
1:00 a.m. (FX) The Ultimate Fighter Live OUTDOORS
Sunday
6:30 a.m. # Babe Winkelman’s Outdoor Secrets
7:00 a.m. (ESPN2) Bassmasters
7:30 a.m. (MSC) Big Fish 365
3:00 p.m. (MSC) English Premier League Review Show
Wednesday
1:00 p.m. (FX) UEFA Champions League Pregame (Live)
1:30 p.m. (FX) UEFA Champions League Soccer Bayern Munich vs. Basel. (Live)
Thursday
7:00 a.m. (MSC) UEFA Champions League Highlights
Friday
6:00 p.m. (MSC) UEFA Champions League Magazine
19th Hole
11:30 p.m. (GOLF) Zurich Classic of New Orleans, First Round.
4:30 a.m. (GOLF) 19th Hole
5:00 a.m. (GOLF) Golf Central 5:30 a.m. (GOLF) Golf Central Friday
8:00 a.m. (GOLF) Ballantine’s Championship, Second Round. (Same-day Tape)
11:30 a.m. (GOLF) Mobile Bay Classic, Second Round. (Live)
1:30 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Central Pregame (Live)
2:00 p.m. (GOLF) Zurich Classic of New Orleans, Second Round. (Live)
11:30 a.m. (GOLF) Golf Central Pregame (Live)
12:00 p.m. (GOLF) Zurich Classic of New Orleans, Third Round. (Live)
1:30 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Central Pregame (Live)
2:00 p.m. # _ Zurich Classic of New Orleans, Third Round. (Live) (GOLF) Mobile Bay Classic, Third Round. (Live)
5:00 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Central (Live)
5:30 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Channel Academy
(MSC) Midwest Classic Golf
6:00 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Channel Academy
6:30 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Channel Academy
7:00 p.m. (GOLF) Golf Channel Academy
7:30 p.m. (GOLF) Zurich Classic of New Orleans, Third Round.
(MSC) Back Roads
9:00 a.m. (MSC) Jason Mitchell Outdoors 9:30
+ Minnesota
11:00 a.m. (MSC) Waters and Woods
11:30 a.m. (MSC) Midwest Outdoors
Saturday
6:00 a.m. (MSC) North American Fisherman
Saturday
8:55 a.m. (ESPN2) English Premier League Soccer Stoke City vs. Arsenal. (Live) SOFTBALL
Sunday
2:30 p.m. (ESPN) Missouri at Oklahoma. (Live)
Thursday
6:00 p.m. (ESPN2) Texas at Texas A&M. (Live)
Saturday
12:30 p.m. (MSC) Texas A&M at Texas. (Live)
2:30 p.m. (MSC) Texas A&M at Texas. (Live)
TRACK AND FIELD
Saturday
12:00 p.m. + USA vs. The World at the Penn Relays. (Live)
(S)
CABLE CHANNELS
(A&E) Breakout Kings (CC)
The Sopranos (S) (CC) The Sopranos Dr. Melfi skeptical. (S) The Sopranos “Calling All Cars” Exterminator Exterminator Exterminator Exterminator Exterminator Exterminator Exterminator Exterminator Parking Wars Parking Wars Parking Wars Parking Wars Parking Wars Parking Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars (AMC) (5:00) The Killing (S) (CC)
The Killing Holder falls from grace. The Killing “Ogi Jun” (S) (CC) Mad Men “Signal 30” (CC) (:04) ›› “Meet Joe Black” (1998, Fantasy) Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins. The Grim Reaper assumes the form of a recently deceased man. (CC)
›› “Legends of the Fall” (1994) Brad Pitt. The forces of love and war slowly destroy a Montana family. (CC)
›› “Sahara” (2005) Premiere. (AP) WeirdWeirdUntamed-UncutWild Kingdom (S) Wild Kingdom (S) Blue Planet: SeasBlue Planet: SeasBlue Planet: SeasBlue Planet: SeasBlue Planet: SeasBlue Planet: SeasBlue Planet: SeasBlue Planet: Seas (BRAVO) Bethenny Ever Kathy Million DollarMillion DollarMillion DollarHousewives/OCHousewives/OCHousewives/NJHousewives/NJHousewives/NJHousewives/NJHousewives/NJ (CNBC) PaidPaidDefrostPaidPaidPaidPaidShow PaidPaidDefrostPaidPaidDefrostPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (CNN) Newsr’mGuptaCNN NewsroomState of the UnionFareed ZakariaReliable SourcesState of the UnionFareed ZakariaNext ListNewsr’mYour Money (N) CNN NewsroomCNN NewsroomCNN Newsroom (COM) PaidTake It ›› “Without a Paddle” (2004) (CC) ›› “Year One” (2009) Jack Black. ››› “Beverly Hills Cop” (1984) (CC) FturamaFturamaFturama“Harold & Kumar Escape Guantanamo” ›› “Year One” (DISC) PaidYoussefOsteenIn TouchMythBusters (CC) MythBusters (CC) MythBusters (CC) MythBusters (CC) MythBusters (CC) Universe WorksUniverse WorksUniverse WorksBering Sea GoldBering Sea Gold (DISN) MickeyDoc MickeyPiratesPhineasPhineasGood Shake ItANT AustinWizardsWizardsGood Good Shake itShake ItJessieAustinPhineasPhineasGood ANT JessieShake It (E!) Fashion StarTrue HollywoodFashion PoliceIce-CocoSoupE! News (N) KhloeKhloeThe Voice (S) (CC) The Voice (CC) ›› “Along Came Polly” (2004) Ice-CocoIce-Coco (ESPN) SportsCenterSportsCenter (N) OutsideSportsSportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC)
(ESPN2) NBA Tonight Sport Science Bassmasters From Okeechobee, Fla.
NASCAR Now (N) (Live) (CC) Outside Lines The Sports First Take QB Camp Baseball Tonight (N) (Live) (CC)
NBA Basketball: Knicks at Hawks College Softball Missouri at Oklahoma. SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC)
2012 College Football All-Star Challenge (N) Flag Football College Baseball Georgia at Florida. (N) (Live) MLS Soccer: Red Bulls at United
(EWTN) ChapletRosarySunday MassLitanyBkmrkVaticanoSaintsApo.RosarySunday MassLitanyGregorian ChantMusicChapletHolyWorld Over LiveFaithEpistlesBen.Crossing
(FAM) ›› “The Haunted Mansion” (2003) ›› “Sky High” (2005) Kurt Russell ››› “The Mask” (1994) Jim Carrey. ›› “The Flintstones” (1994, Comedy) ›› “The Karate Kid” (1984, Drama) Ralph Macchio. “Blart: Mall Cop”
(FSN) PaidPaidPaidBig FishOutDue OutRoadsBoys in Horse.AutoMotorTwins MLB Baseball Minnesota Twins at Tampa Bay Rays. (N) Twins Boys in BaseballWolvesWolves (FX) SmarterSmarter ›› “Doomsday” (2008, Action) Rhona Mitra. ›› “The Day the Earth Stood Still” (2008) › “Armageddon” (1998) Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler. ›› “The Day After Tomorrow” (2004, Action)
(GOLF) Paid Program Paid Program Golf Central Golf Central European PGA Tour Golf Volvo China Open, Final Round. From Tianjin, China. (N Same-day Tape) Golf Central LPGA Tour Golf LOTTE Championship, Final Round. From Oahu, Hawaii. European PGA Tour Golf Volvo China Open, Final Round. From Tianjin, China. Golf Central (N) (Live) (HGTV) Property BrothersIncomeIncomeDisasterKitchenHate Room YardCrashersLove It or List ItFirst Pla.First Pla.PropertyPropertyPropertyPropertyHuntersHunt IntlFor RentFor RentHuntersHunt Intl (HIST) Modern MarvelsModern MarvelsAncient Ink Tattoo history. (CC) Modern MarvelsPawnPawnPawnPawnAx Men (CC) Ax Men (CC) Ax Men (CC) Ax Men (CC) Ax Men (CC) (LIFE) In Touch Hour of PowerOsteenPaidDance MomsDance MomsDance Moms“Date With Darkness-Andrew Luster”“Black Widower” (2006) Kelly McGillis. “The Wife He Met Online” (2012) (CC) (NBCSN) Outd’rsMartinOutdoorParkerHot HuntingQuestAlaskaOutd’rFisher.BassB. DanceFLW OutdoorsFLW OutdoorsHuntingRacerU.S. Olympic Trials Wrestling. Finals. From Iowa City, Iowa. (NICK) PenguinPenguinParentsParentsSponge.Sponge.Sponge.Sponge.PenguinSponge.iCarly (S) Big TimeiCarly (S) RockRockiCarly (S) Big TimeBig TimeiCarly (S) iCarly (S) VictoVictoSponge.Sponge. (SPIKE) PaidWealthPaidTake ItAuctionAuctionAuctionAuctionXtremeHorse.Trucks!MuscleAuctionAuctionBar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) (SYFY) DefrostPaidPaidDefrostZoneEureka (S) (CC) Stargate AtlantisGhost Hunters (S) ›› “Saw” (2004, Horror) Cary Elwes. (CC) ›› “Gothika” (2003) Halle Berry. ›› “Dead Silence” (2007) (CC) (TBN) PurvisThe PhillipsTouchFranklinTurningRhemaWinningMiracleRedeemLoveIn TouchPowerWrittenConleyFrom HisKing IsFranklinJohn Hagee TodayPrinceChangJakesJ. Meyer (TBS) Meet the Browns Meet the Browns Friends (CC) ›› “Stomp the Yard” (2007, Drama) Columbus Short, Meagan Good. (CC)
›› “Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself” (2009) Tyler Perry, Taraji P. Henson.
MLB Baseball Texas Rangers at Detroit Tigers. From Comerica Park in Detroit. (N) (Live) (CC)
› “My Baby’s Daddy” (2004) Eddie Griffin. (CC) (:45) ›› “Last Holiday” (2006) Queen Latifah. (CC) (TCM) (5:15) ›› “Honky Tonk” (1941) (CC) (:15) ››› “The Strawberry Blonde” (1941) James Cagney. (CC)
››› “Pigskin Parade” (1936) Stuart Erwin, Patsy Kelly, Jack Haley. (CC)
›››› “Mr. Deeds Goes to Town” (1936) Gary Cooper, Jean Arthur. (CC)
›› “Where Angels Go, Trouble Follows” (1968) Rosalind Russell. (CC)
›››› “In the Heat of the Night” (1967) Sidney Poitier, Rod Steiger. (CC) ››› “Summertime” (1955) (CC) (TLC) Dr. Fred PricePaidJillianSay YesSay YesSay YesSay YesSay YesSay YesSay YesSay YesHoard-BuriedHoard-BuriedHoard-BuriedHoard-BuriedHoard-BuriedHoard-Buried (TNT) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) › “10,000 B.C.” (2008) Steven Strait. “Resident Evil” (TOON) JohnnyRedakaiBeyPokeBen 10Thundr.LanternJusticeMADLevel UpTom and Jerry: Magic RingGumballGumballJohnnyJohnnyMADRegularRegularAdvenAdvenWallaceWallace (TRAV) When VacationsMysteries-MuseumHidden City (CC) When VacationsMysteries-MuseumBggg Bggg Hotel ImpossibleHuntersHouseTo Be Announced
RV 2012 (CC) (TRUTV) PaidPaidPaidLandSpring BreakDisorder in theDisorder in theWorld’s Dumbest...World’s Dumbest...World’s Dumbest...World’s Dumbest...World’s Dumbest...PawnPawnWienerWiener (TVLAND) 3’s Company 3’s Company The Nanny The Nanny Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland M*A*S*H (CC)
M*A*S*H “Tuttle” M*A*S*H (CC) (USA) No Defrosting Paid Program Atmosphere Joel Osteen Fairly Legal “What They Seem” (CC) In Plain Sight “The Medal of Mary”
›› “War” (2007, Action) Jet Li, Jason Statham, John Lone. (CC)
›› “Crank” (2006, Action) Jason Statham, Amy Smart. (CC)
› “The Condemned” (2007, Action) Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones. (CC) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (WGN-A) PaidFactsDavidBeyondMatlock (S) (CC)
›› “Fantastic Four” (2005) (CC) “Fantastic Four” Lead-Off(:10) MLB Baseball Cincinnati Reds at Chicago Cubs. (N) 10th Inn.VideosLaw Order: CI
PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) “Beavis, Butt” ›› “The Losers” (2010) Jeffrey Dean Morgan. ‘PG-13’ Mayweather REAL Sports With Bryant Gumbel (S) (:45)
›› “Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole” (2010) (S) ‘PG’ Real Time With Bill Maher (S) (CC) ›› “Charlie St. Cloud” (2010) Zac Efron. (S) ‘PG-13’
(:15) ›› “The Losers” (2010, Action) Jeffrey Dean Morgan. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
(:10) ›› “Water for Elephants” (2011) Reese Witherspoon. ‘PG-13’ (CC) (MAX) “Ordinary” (:40) ›› “Popeye” (1980, Comedy) Robin Williams. (S) ‘PG’ (CC) (:35) ››› “X-Men: First Class” (2011, Action) James McAvoy, Rose Byrne. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
(10:50) ››› “Midnight Run” (1988, Comedy) Robert De Niro. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
››› “Death Becomes Her” (1992) Meryl Streep. (S) (:45) ›› “Sanctum” (2011, Action) Richard Roxburgh. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:35) ›››› “Alien” (1979) Tom Skerritt. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (SHOW)
(4:50) ›› “Red” (2010) Bruce Willis. (6:55) ›› “From the Sky Down” (2011) (S) ‘NR’ (CC) Boxing Abner Mares vs. Eric Morel. Mares battles Morel for the vacant WBC super bantamweight title. From El Paso, Texas.
(:15) ›› “Phenomenon” (1996, Drama) John Travolta, Kyra Sedgwick, Forest Whitaker. (S) ‘PG’
›› “Remember Me” (2010) Robert Pattinson. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC) ››› “180 Degrees South” (2010) (S) ‘NR’ (CC) (TMC) (5:30) ››› “Miss Firecracker” (:15) “The Witch’s Daughter” (1998) Sammy Glenn. (S) (CC) (:45) ›› “Locked in Silence” (1999, Drama) Bonnie Bedelia. (S) (CC)
› “Triggermen” (2002) Neil Morrissey. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (:10) ›› “The Trial of Billy Jack” (1974, Drama) Tom Laughlin, Delores Taylor. Premiere. ‘PG’ (CC) “Infamy” (2005, Documentary) (S) ‘R’ (CC) (:45) ›› “Behind the Burly Q” (2010) (S) ‘NR’ (CC)
BRAINERD, MN/DISPATCH
Joaquin Phoenix. The story of music legends Johnny Cash
SeasRiver Monsters (S) Frozen Planet (S) River Monsters (S) OranguEden (BRAVO) Housewives/Atl.Housewives/Atl.Housewives/Atl.Housewives/NJHappensHousewives/NJHousewives/Atl.Housewives/NJHappensHousewives/Atl.Take ItPaidPaidPaidBethenny Ever (CNBC) DiabetesWall St.Biogr/CNBCThe Coffee Ad.Marijuana USAAmerican GreedPorn: BusinessBiogr/CNBCGrt PilPaidPorn: BusinessWorldwide Exchange (N) Squawk Box (N) (CNN) CNN NewsroomCNN PresentsPiers MorganCNN NewsroomCNN PresentsPiers MorganCNN NewsroomCNN PresentsPiers MorganCNN NewsroomEarly Start (N) (COM) (5:00) “Year One” ›› “Without a Paddle” (2004) (CC) South PkTosh.0“Harold & Kumar Escape” Tosh.0KeySouth PkUglyWork.ComedySunnySunnyPaidKitchenPaidPaid (DISC) Bering Sea GoldFrozen Planet (N) MythBusters (N) Unchained R.Frozen Planet (S) MythBusters (CC) Unchained R.Bering Sea GoldPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidCreflo (DISN) AustinAustinAustin ›› “Beethoven” (1992) (S) AustinJessieANT Shake ItWizardsWizardsGood Good Deck(:25) ›› “Double Teamed”PhineasPhineasPhineasPhineas3rd & Little (E!) Ice-CocoIce-CocoKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeIce-CocoChelseaSoupKhloeIce-CocoFashion PoliceKhloeIce-CocoChelseaSoupPaidPaidREPaidPaidPaid
(AP) Blue Planet: SeasRiver Monsters (S) Frozen Planet (S) River Monsters (N) Frozen Planet (S) River Monsters (S) River Monsters (S) Blue
(ESPN) Baseball TonightMLB Baseball New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox. (Live) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (CC)
(ESPN2) MLS Soccer: Red Bulls at United Year of the Quarterback First Take Gruden’s QB CampSport Science QB Camp Who’s Number 1? (CC)
SportsCenter (CC)
MLB Baseball New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox.
NBA Basketball: Thunder at Lakers H-Lite SportsCenter
NBA Basketball New York Knicks at Atlanta Hawks. (N Same-day Tape) (CC)
SportsCenter (N) (CC) Mike and Mike in the Morning (N)
(EWTN) Sunday NightCatholic.SavoringG.K.RosaryEWTN on LocationGod BkmrkSunday MassLitanyBen.Sunday NightPriestHeavensVisionarEWTNBkmrkFamilyOriginalCrossing
(FAM) “Blart: Mall Cop” ›› “Bedtime Stories” (2008) ›› “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” (2009) OsteenEd Z. LevittPrincePaidMy PilTake ItPaidPaidMy PilPrinceLifeJ. MeyerChild
(FSN) NBA Basketball: Warriors at Timberwolves WolvesWolvesRaceDue Game World Poker TourBarclays PremThe Best of PrideMLB Baseball: Twins at Rays NBA Basketball Wolves
(FX) ›› “2012” (2009, Action) John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor. ›› “2012” (2009, Action) John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor. PaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid
(GOLF) Top 10Haney Project Haney Project Haney Project Haney Project
NHL Hockey NHL Hockey NHL LiveCycling NHL 36NHL 36PaidGrt PilPaidPaintQuit-Job!PaidOlympic Trials (NICK) Sponge.Sponge.’70s’70sGeorgeGeorgeMy WifeMy WifeFriendsFriendsFriendsFriends’70s’70sMy WifeMy WifeNannyNannyMattersMattersMartinTBAMattersMatters (SPIKE) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) Bar Rescue (S) EntouEntouPaidPaidPaidDefrostPaidPaid (SYFY) ›› “Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead”“Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings” › “The Hills Have Eyes 2” (2007) ›› “My Bloody Valentine” (2009) ›› “Saw” (2004, Horror) Cary Elwes. (CC) ZonePaidPaid (TBN) YoussefY’r DayOsteenKerryBelieverCreflo“The Story of Jacob and Joseph”Secrets of the Bible SecretsNight of Hope From Jerusalem With the Osteen’s Israel: TimeWorshipWom (TBS) (4:45) ›› “Last Holiday” (2006) ››› “Hitch” (2005) Will Smith. A smooth-talker helps a shy accountant woo an heiress. (CC) (:35) ››› “Hitch” (2005) Will Smith. A smooth-talker helps a shy accountant woo an heiress. (12:05) ›› “Stomp the Yard” (2007) Columbus Short, Meagan Good. (CC) (:05) ››› “The Pursuit of Happyness” (2006) Will Smith, Jaden Christopher Syre Smith. (CC) MarriedMarriedMarried (TCM) (5:00) ››› “Summertime” ›› “Another Man’s Poison” (1951) Bette Davis. (:45) ›› “A Stolen Life” (1946, Drama) Bette Davis, Glenn Ford, Dane Clark. (CC) ›› “La Boheme” (1926, Drama) Lillian Gish, John Gilbert.
››› “Diary of a Country Priest” (1950, Drama) Claude Laydu. Premiere. (:15) ››› “A Man Escaped” (1957, Action) Francois Leterrier. Premiere. Do Detecti Putting Pants (TLC) Hoard-BuriedMediumMediumMediumMediumWilliam & KateMediumMediumWilliam & KateMediumMediumHoard-BuriedPaidPaidPaidPaidTriVitaPaidPeoplePeople (TNT) “Resident Evil” ›››› “The Dark Knight” (2008) Christian Bale. (CC) (:15) ›› “Watchmen” (2009, Action) Billy Crudup, Malin Akerman. (CC) (:15) ››› “Spider-Man” (2002) Tobey Maguire. PreviewAngel “Home” (S) (TOON) WallaceGumballLevel UpLevel UpKing/HillKing/HillChickenFam GuyFam GuyLoiterAqua CheckFriskyFam GuyFam GuyLoiterAqua CheckFriskyChickenKing/HillKing/HillLooneyBen 10 (TRAV) Sand M.Sand M.Bggg Bggg Hotel ImpossibleCool Tools: TrvNo ReservationHotel ImpossibleCool Tools: TrvNo ReservationBggg Bggg PaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TRUTV) WienerWienerBait CarBait CarVegas Vegas Vegas Vegas ForensicForensicBait CarBait CarVegas Vegas Vegas Vegas ForensicForensicTake ItPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TVLAND) M*A*S*H (CC) M*A*S*H (CC) M*A*S*H (CC) M*A*S*H (CC) Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens Happily Divorced Happily Divorced Happily Divorced Roseanne (S) (:32) The Nanny (:05) The Nanny (:43) Three’s Company (CC) 3’s Company Paid Program Paid Program (USA) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit ›› “He’s Just Not That Into You” (2009) Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston. (CC)
›› “He’s Just Not That Into You” (2009) Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston. (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) (WGN-A) 30 RockMotherMotherMotherMotherMotherNewsReplayThe Unit (S) (CC) Monk (CC) Monk (CC) “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”
››› “Best in Show” (2000) (CC) PaidJ. Meyer PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) (:10) › “Your Highness” (2011, Comedy) Danny McBride. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
Game of Thrones “Garden of Bones” Veep (S) (CC) Girls (N) (CC) Game of Thrones “Garden of Bones” Veep (S) (CC) Girls (S) (CC)
›› “Horrible Bosses” (2011) Jason Bateman. (S) ‘R’ (:40) Real Time With Bill Maher (S) Ricky Gervais (:05) ››› “The Devil’s Own” (1997, Suspense) Harrison Ford. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
I Can’t Do “Speechless” (MAX) (4:35) “Alien” (:35) ››› “The Tree of Life” (2011, Drama) Brad Pitt, Sean Penn. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
››› “X-Men: First Class” (2011, Action) James McAvoy. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
Girl’s Guide Girl’s Guide Girl’s Guide (:45) ›› “In the Cut” (2003, Suspense) Meg Ryan. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (:45) ››› “The Long Riders” (1980, Western) David Carradine. ‘R’ (CC)
›› “Legend” (1985) Tom Cruise. (S) ‘PG’ (CC) (SHOW) The Borgias “Paolo” (S) (CC) The Big C (CC) Nurse Jackie Nurse Jackie The Big C (N) (S) The Borgias (N) (S) (CC) Nurse Jackie The Big C (CC) The Borgias (S) (CC)
›› “Windtalkers” (2002, War) Nicolas Cage, Adam Beach. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:15) “Hellraiser: Hellworld” (2005, Horror) Doug Bradley, Henry Cavill. ‘R’
›› “Drive Angry” (2011) Nicolas Cage. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
› “Hellraiser: Inferno” (2000) Craig Sheffer. (S) ‘R’
(:45) ›› “Phenomenon” (1996, Drama) John Travolta, Kyra Sedgwick, Forest Whitaker. (S) ‘PG’
(:40) ››› “Fire of Conscience” (2010, Action) Leon Lai, Richie Jen. ‘R’
“Memory” (2007, Suspense) Dennis Hopper. (S) ‘NR’ (CC)
(:10) “The Barefoot Executive” (1971)
(3:55) “My Own Country” (1998) Naveen Andrews. ‘R’ “Crocodile” (TMC) “Burly Q”“Talihina Sky: The Story of Kings of Leon” (2011) ‘NR’
DAYTIME
BROADCAST CHANNELS
KTCA WorldFetch!ArthurWild CuriousCat in SuperDinosaurSesame StreetSidWordWrCliffordZoboomSuperSidDinosaurCat in CuriousElectricMarthaArthurWild WordGirl
KDLH KDLH 3 WeatherCBS This Morning AndersonThe Price Is RightYoung & RestlessPaidBoldThe Talk Let’s Make a DealThe Dr. Oz ShowThe DoctorsJ’pardy!News
KSTP News Good Morning America Live! With KellyThe View News The ChewThe RevolutionGeneral HospitalTwin Cities LiveMillion.NewsNewsABC
KCCO WCCO 4 NewsCBS This Morning AndersonThe Price Is RightYoung & RestlessNewsBoldThe Talk Let’s Make a DealDr. Phil Ellen DeGeneresNewsCBS
WDSE (Off Air)BodyCuriousDinosaurSesame StreetInstructional Television Cat in CaillouSidInstructionalCuriousMarthaArthurWordGirlWild ElectricFetch!Clifford
KAWE BusiLakeCuriousCat in SuperDinosaurSesame StreetSidCliffordCaillouVaried Programs DinosaurCat in WordWrMarthaArthurWordGirlWild CyberFetch!News
KMSP News News News Morning BuzzNate
ScrubsScrubsYankersFturamaFturamaTosh.0SunnySunnyDailyColbert
T Paid ComedyRENO ››› “What About Bob?” (1991) (CC) South Pk
W › “Superhero Movie” (2008) (CC) FturamaFturama
TH “What’s the Worst”
F › “Bachelor Party Vegas” (2005) (CC) (DISC) PaidRobisonJ. MeyerPaidHow/How/Almost, AwayUnusual SuspectsCriminal PursuitLA Ink LA Ink American ChopperAmerican ChopperMan vs. WildVaried Programs
(DISN) Gaspard ChugMickeyPiratesMickeyMickeyDoc LittleMickeyOctoMickeyLittleOsoPiratesVaried Programs Good Varied Programs Shake ItGood
M Ice-CocoKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeE! News Fashion PoliceTrue HollywoodIce-CocoIce-CocoThe Voice The Voice
T Christina Aguilera The Voice The Voice Celeb WeddingKeeping Up With the KardashiansE! SpecialDeath in ParadiseFashion Police
(E!)
W 50 Cutest Child Stars: All Grown UpMiley CyrusYoung, Beautiful & Vanished: Crimes True HollywoodHolly’s Holly’s KhloeKhloeKhloeKhloe ›› “Along Came Polly” (2004)
TH 50 Most Outrageous TV MomentsFatal TriangleCurse-LotteryDeath in Paradise Sexiest CouplesKendraKendraIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-Coco ›› “Legally Blonde” (2001, Comedy)
M SportCtrSportsCenter SportsCenterSportsCenterSportsCenterSportsCenterSportsCenterSportCtrSportsCenter Special: On the NFL Live AroundPardonSportsCenter
T SportsCenterSportsCenter
F E! Investigates: Hot for StudentTrue HollywoodIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-Coco True HollywoodKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeSoup (ESPN)
W SportsCenter
TH
(ESPN2)
SportsCenterSportsCenter Spe SportsCenter Special: On the Clock
F SportsCenter Special: On the Clock
M (5:00) Mike and Mike in the Morning ESPN First Take ESPN First Take ReportSportCtrNASCARFirst NumbersLe BaSportsNationNFL32
T W
TH
Mike and Mike Report Best of SportsCenter
F NumbersReportFirst NASCARNASCAR Racing Nation (EWTN)
M ChapletRosaryDaily MassSunday NightWorld Over LiveWomen RosaryDaily MassLiving RightEWTNMaryMercyRosaryChildrenCat ChatTruth inCatholicSaintsPriest
T The Journey HomeAngelica Live EWTN on LocationThreshold of Hope FamilyAnimat VaticanoChoicesGiving
W Threshold of HopeMother Angelica Karol: A Man Who Family SaCatholic BkmrkSavoringFoun
TH EWTN LiveClassicsEWTN SaintDiaLiving The RosaryAl Live Living Right
F Life on the Rock G.K. Oliver PlunkettBen.Stations CrossDivine HeavensChurch (FAM) Boy...Boy...What What Full Hse.700 ClubThe 700 ClubGilmore GirlsStandingStanding8 Rules8 RulesGroundGround70s 70s ’70sVariedMovie Varied
M PaidPaidTwins WolvesThe Dan Patrick Show Due RoadsEnglish Premier League SoccerDan PatrickEnglish Prem.AutoMotorWorld Poker Tour
T BaseballTwins SpotlightSpotlightMLB Baseball: Red Sox at Twins Action Sports RaceUFCThe Best of Pride
(FSN)
W Roads Fisher.FishingMotorFisherThe The The The The Due World Poker Tour
TH Champ. World Poker TourMLB Baseball: Red Sox at TwinsDan PatrickBarflyGolf LifeBoys in Horse.Diesel TV
M Smarter ›› “The Day the Earth Stood Still” (2008) ›› “Along Came a Spider” (2001) ›› “An Unfinished Life” (2005) ››› “Perfect Strangers” (2003) › “Deception” (2008) Hugh Jackman. MotherMother
T ›› “Along Came a Spider” (2001) ››› “Perfect Strangers” (2003) ›› “An Unfinished Life” (2005) › “Deception” (2008) Hugh Jackman. ›› “XXX: State of the Union” (2005) MotherMother
W ›› “Black Mask” (1996) Jet Li. ›› “XXX: State of the Union” (2005) ››› “Black Hawk Down” (2001, War) Josh Hartnett. PregameUEFA Champions League Soccer Two Two
F Due Wolves WoodsOutNBA Basketball Due World Poker TourSports UnlimitedAction Sports (FX)
TH ››› “Black Hawk Down” (2001, War) Josh Hartnett. ››› “Walk the Line” (2005, Biography) Joaquin Phoenix. ››› “1408” (2007, Horror) John Cusack. ›› “Ghost Rider” (2007, Action) Nicolas Cage. MotherMother
F ››› “Horton Hears a Who!” (2008) ›› “Bedazzled” (2000, Comedy) › “The Benchwarmers” (2006) › “Me, Myself & Irene” (2000) Jim Carrey. MotherMotherMotherMotherTwo Two Two (GOLF) Morning Drive Morning Drive Varied Programs PaidPaidVaried Programs
CABLE CHANNELS
M The Balancing ActWillWillWillWillWillWillChrisChrisChrisChrisGrey’s AnatomyGrey’s AnatomyGrey’s AnatomyMotherRebaRebaRebaTo Be Announced
T MotherWife SwapWife Swap
(LIFE)
W To Be AnnouncedTo Be Announced
TH BalanceSpaces Wife SwapWife SwapWife SwapWife SwapTo Be Announced Wife Swap
F ChrisChrisGrey’s AnatomyGrey’s AnatomyGrey’s Anatomy I Survived (NBCSN)
M (5:00) Olympic Trials Wrestling. NHL LiveNHL LiveBirdingOutd’rLip & UltimateCamoMajestySeasonsRedfernIntoFishingU.S. Olympic Trials Wrestling. Finals. From Iowa City, Iowa. TalkNHL Live
T NBC Sports TalkNBC Sports Talk Fisher.B. DanceBassFishingOutdoorOutd’rBiteSeasonOutd’rsBirdingNHL 36Cycling Cycling
W SaltwaIntoRedfernOutd’rParkerOutdoorMartinBattle of Lunker.B. DanceRunning Cycling
TH
BiteProIFA RedFishingB. DanceFishingDobbsOutsideBig FishFisher.FLW Outdoors
F Big FishOutsideFisher.Outd’rAnglingParkerKnot BassSaltwaFishingRunning (NICK) WinxSponge.Sponge.Sponge.Max, FranklinDora...UmiBubbleBubbleMikeUmiDora...Dora...Sponge.T.U.F.F.ParentsPenguinBig TimeNinjasSponge.Kung FuiCarlyVicto (SPIKE)
M PaidPaidPaidPaidAuctionAuctionCSI: NY CSI: Crime SceneCSI: Crime SceneCSI: Crime SceneCSI: Crime SceneCSI: Crime SceneCSI: Crime SceneCSI: Crime Scene Joy Ride
T Big EasyBig EasyBig EasyJailJailJailJailJail
W CSI: Crime SceneCSI: Crime SceneAuctionAuctionAuctionAuction TH DEA DEA DEA DEA
M PaidPaidGhost WhispererGhost WhispererGhost WhispererGhost WhispererGhost Whisperer ›› “Gothika” (2003) Halle Berry. ›› “Dead Silence” (2007) (CC) “Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings”
T Dream MachinesDream MachinesFact or FakedFact or FakedFact or Faked ››› “The Matrix Reloaded” (2003) Keanu Reeves. ›› “The Matrix Revolutions” (2003) Keanu Reeves.
F GangJailGanglandGanglandGanglandGanglandGanglandGanglandGanglandUFC UnleashedUFC Unleashed (SYFY)
W “30 Days of Night: Dark Days” (2010) Destination TruthDestination TruthDestination TruthDestination TruthDestination TruthDestination TruthDestination TruthDestination TruthFact or Faked
TH V V V V V V V V V V Total Blackout
M PrinceK. ShookSup.J. MeyerCrefloJ. HageeParsleyY’r DayBelieverProphetGoodEducaBehindJewishLife ToTodayThe 700 ClubJ. HageeNot a “The Amazing Grace” (2006)
T Full Graham ClassicDr. to Dr. Sup. BuildingPraise the Lord
F The Twilight ZoneThe Twilight ZoneThe Twilight ZoneThe Twilight ZoneThe Twilight ZoneThe Twilight ZoneThe Twilight Zone ›› “Kill Theory” (2009, Horror) ›› “Jeepers Creepers” (2001) (TBN)
W Change WinningLifeProclaim J. Meyer Breaking
TH Chang BrownsMannaDiffer Lifestyle Educa
F Dupl’tis Best of Praise The Lord Living Holy (TBS)
M Home ImHome ImPrincePrincePaynePayneBrownsBrownsPayneJimYesDearYesDearAmer.EarlRayRayRayRayFriendsFriendsFriendsFriendsKingKing
M You Two HabeasBig DoubleAngora ›› “Stingaree” (1934) (CC) ›› “One More River” (CC) “It Happened in Hollywood”“Living on Love”(:45) “A Man to Remember”(:15) ›› “Three Sons”Steel-
T “Fire Down” ›› “Night Fighters” (1960) (:45) ›› “Rampage” (1963) ››› “Two for the Seesaw” (1962) ›› “Two Loves” (1961) (:15) ››› “Some Came Running” (1958) (CC) (:45) “The Apartment” (1960)
W Fun(:45) ›› “For Pete’s Sake” (1974) “Two Girls on Broadway” ›› “Broadway Rhythm” (1944) ›››› “Interrupted Melody” (1955) ›› “Crossplot” (1969) (:45) ›› “Picture Mommy Dead”Ridrs-
TH “Night-Iguana” ›› “Period of Adjustment” (1962) ››› “Sweet Bird of Youth” (1962) “Roman Spring-Mrs. Stone”(:45) ››› “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”(:45) ››› “Baby Doll” (1956) (CC) (:45) ››› “The Misfits”
F “The Jazz Singer” ›› “My Love Came Back” ››› “In This Our Life”(:15) ›› “Detour” (1945) “Ding Williams”(:45) “Song of the Thin Man”(:15) ›››› “Out of the Past” (1947) ›››
Strip (TLC) 19 Kids19 KidsBabyBabyBabyBaby’s Varied ProgramsSay YesSay YesWhat Not to WearBabyBabyMultiplesBaby’s Varied Programs (TNT) Angel Charmed Charmed SupernaturalSupernaturalLas VegasLas VegasLeverage The CloserLaw & OrderLaw & OrderLaw & Order (TOON) JohnnyBeyPokéJohnnyJohnnyAlmostLooneyLazloScoobyScoobyLooney TunesTom & JerryJerryVariedLooneyEd, EddEd, EddJohnnyJohnnyRegularMADGumball
M “Speechless” (S) Speak(:45) ›› “Fast Five” (2011) Vin Diesel. (S) (CC) ›› “Good Burger” (1997) (:45) ›› “Ramona and Beezus” (S) ›› “Knight and Day” (2010) (S) (CC) ››› “Inception” (2010) Leonardo DiCaprio. (S)
T (5:30) ››› “Quiz Show”Veep ›› “Unknown” (2011) Liam Neeson. ›› “Water for Elephants” (2011) (S) The Latino List ›› “Crooklyn” (1994) Alfre Woodard. ››› “Bend It Like Beckham” (2002) “Dawn Treader”
W Critters3 ›› “The Saint” (1997) Val Kilmer. (S) 24/7 › “The Musketeer” (2001) (:45) ›› “The Losers” (2010) (S) (CC) Runnin’ Rebels“While You Were Sleeping”(:15) ›› “Fast Five” (2011) Vin Diesel. (S) (CC) Losers
Order: CILaw Order: CILaw & Order: SVULaw & Order: SVU (WGN-A) PrinceCrefloPaidJeannieMatlock Matlock Heat of the NightHeat of the NightNewsVariedWalker, RangerWalker, RangerWalker, RangerChrisChris30 Rock30 Rock PREMIUM CHANNELS (HBO)
TH ›› “The Man in the Moon”L. ››› “Inception” (2010) Leonardo DiCaprio. (S) ›› “Shrek Forever After”“Beavis and Butt-head” ›› “Monte Carlo” (2011) (S) (CC) 24/7REAL Sports“Knight and Day”
M ›› “Somewhere in Time”(:45) ›› “Dinner for Schmucks” (S) (:40) ››› “Seabiscuit” (2003) Tobey Maguire. ›› “Gotcha!” (1985) (CC) (:45) ›› “Made in America” (1993) (:40) “Marked for Death” (S) (:15) “The Eagle”
T “Guide-Married” ›› “Hall Pass” (2011) (S) (:15) ›› “The Adjustment Bureau”(:05) ››› “Seven” (1995) Brad Pitt. (:15) ›› “Waterworld” (1995) Kevin Costner. (S) › “Vampires Suck” (2010) ›› “Hall Pass”
W “Great Outdoors”“Phantom of the Paradise”(:35) › “Jonah Hex” (2010) ›› “Wes Craven’s New Nightmare”(11:50) ›› “Iceman” (1984) (:35) ›› “Lottery Ticket”(:15) ››› “28 Days Later” (2002) (S) “Big Mommas”
F “Bushwhacked”“Legend of the Guardians-Ga’Hoole”(8:55) ›› “Flipped” (2010) ›› “Unknown” (2011) Liam Neeson. (:25) ›› “Good Burger” (S) (:05) “Charlie St. Cloud” (S) Portrait ››› “Recount” (2008) Kevin Spacey. (MAX)
TH (5:35) ››› “Pillow Talk”(:20) “Liar Liar” (S) (:45) ››› “X-Men: First Class” (2011) (S) (CC) ›› “Sudden Death” (1995) (S) (CC) (12:50) ›› “Just Wright”(:35) “The Lost World: Jurassic Park”(:45) “X-Men: First Class” (S)
M “Crocodile Hntr”(:15) ›› “Elvis Meets Nixon” (1997) ›› “When Time Expires”(:35) ›› “Letters to Juliet” (2010) (S) › “Strategic Command”(:15) “Fade to Black” (2006) (S) (CC) ›› “Murder in Mind” (S) Few
T Daisies(:45) ››› “The Black Hole” (1979) ›› “Holy Rollers” (2010) (:15) “The Prankster” (2010) (S) (CC) (:15) › “A Low Down Dirty Shame”“Meskada” (2010) Nick Stahl. › “Scary Movie 2” (2001) “I Am No. Four”
W “The Hollywood Complex” ›› “The Lucky Ones” (2008) (S) ›› “Losing Chase” (1996) (:15) “Son of Morning” (2011) (:45) “Ten Inch Hero” (2007) (S) (CC) “Grave Encounters” (2010) (:15) “Double Identity” (2010) (S) (CC)
F (5:30) “Madame X”(:10) ››› “Megamind” (2010) (S) (8:50) ›› “Life” (1999) (CC) (:40) ››› “Runaway Jury” (2003) (S) (CC) (12:50) ›› “Sanctum” (S) (:40) ››› “The Nutty Professor” (S) (:20) ››› “Midnight Run” (SHOW)
TH (5:30) “Blessed & Cursed”“Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” (2010) (S) ›› “Skateland” (2010) (S) Felipe Esparza(:15) › “According to Spencer” (2001) “The Entitled” (2011) (:35) ›› “Peep World” (S) “How to Lose”
F “Shadow Zone”(:15) “The Prankster” (2010) Matt Angel. (S) (CC) (:25) “180 Degrees South” ››› “The Italian Job” (2003) (S) ››› “The Road” (2009) (S) (CC) (2:55) ››› “The Hours” (2002) (S) “Remember Me” (TMC)
M “Bareft. Exec.” › “New Port South” (2001) (:40) ›› “Trollhunter” (2010, Action) ›› “Undiscovered” (2005) (:10) ›››› “Dorian Gray” (2009) (S) (:10) ›› “Once More With Feeling”(3:55) ›› “Get Well Soon”Phunny
T “Make Believe” ›› “The Tempest” (2010) (S) (CC) ›› “Mandela and de Klerk” (1997) “In the Name of the King: Dungeon”(:10) ›› “Celebrity” (1998) (CC) (:05) ›› “The Extra Man” (2010) (S) “The Tempest” (S)
W (:15) ›› “Boundaries of the Heart”“Joan Rivers” ››› “Agora” (2009) Rachel Weisz. (:45) ›› “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” (2009) ›› “Sex and a Girl” (2001) “Talihina Sky” “Noble Things” (S) TH (5:45) ›› “Nativity!” (2009) (:35) “Robin of Locksley” (S) (:15) ›› “Once More With Feeling” ›› “Spooner” (2009) (S) (:25) “The Thin Blue Line”(:10) ›› “Tough Guys” (1986) (S) (3:55) “Blue in the Face” (S) Circle
F “The Barefoot Executive”“Honey, I Blew Up the Kid” ›› “The Extra Man” (2010) (S) (CC) ›› “The Trial of Billy Jack” (1974) Tom Laughlin. (CC) “Dark Descent” (2002) (S) (:45) ›› “The Good Mother” (1988) Phunny
“My Damn Channel Live,” www.mydamnchannel.com/ live/
Launched March 28, this live daily series - part of YouTube’s big original channels initiative - features half-hour episodes on Wednesdays and 10-minute episodes the rest of the week, with celebrity guest interviews, audience interaction and worldpremiere videos from more than 30 new My Damn Channel original series. Beth Hoyt is host, and among her guests so far have been Jon Glaser (Adult Swim’s “Delocated”), David Wain (“Wanderlust,” “Wainy Days,” “Wet Hot American Summer,” “Children’s Hospital”) and Amy Miles.
‘Chopped’ chef makes his Marc in New York
Chef Marc Murphy’s passion for food and his chosen industry is so abiding that he calls to discuss it from a Utah ski resort during a family vacation. Turns out Murphy has a little time on his hands – and he calls so he doesn’t wind up with one in a cast.
“I have a broken bone in my wrist, and it’s got to heal,” Murphy explains. “I can’t mess it up because I kinda need this hand, and I don’t want to end up having to go to surgery!”
As the proprietor of New York’s popular Benchmarc restaurant group and Benchmarc Events catering company, and an empathetic judge on Food Network’s much-loved Tuesday staple “Chopped,” Murphy is a wizard at time management – and making folks happy.
“Some of the best times of my life have been sitting around a table, eating good food, drinking good wine and laughing with friends,” says Murphy, who adds a minimal markup on his restaurants’ wine lists so that everyone can afford the good stuff. “I just love to be able to help other people have that in their lives.”
In fact, the catalyst for Benchmarc Events was a love story that played out, from first date onward, in his Landmarc (TriBeCa) restaurant. “They called me up and said, ‘We’ve fallen in love, and your restaurant is where it all happened. Now we’re getting married. Could you come and cook for the wedding?’ I mean, how can you turn that down?”
•What are you currently reading?
" 'Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking.' It’s this huge, six-volume thing, and it’s absolutely fascinating."
•What did you have for dinner last night? "Lamb chops."
•What is your next project?
"I’m very adamant about not overdoing it with new projects. I have four restaurants, a catering company, one wife and two kids. That’s a lot of work right there!"
•When was the last vacation you took – where and why?
"I’m on vacation right now. I’m in Utah at Deer Valley, and we’re skiing. I’m a huge lover of skiing, but I can’t ski this time. But my kids and my wife are having a good time."
Murphy also cites the contestants’ often-poignant back stories as a favorite part of his “Chopped” gig.
“The way they talk about food and how it is part of their life and what it’s meant to them,” he says, “it’s really touching.”
Next Sunday, “Chopped” fans can see Murphy take on fellow judges Chris Santos, Marcus Samuelsson and Alex Guarnaschelli in an episode of the series’ all-star competition for charity.
“There’s no way that I can get up in the morning and not give back to the city that I live in,” says Murphy, a board member for New York’s City Harvest who also serves the national nonprofit Share Our Strength. “But it’s not just me. It’s our industry as a whole. That’s what we do. We love people, and we try to help them.”
WEB LINKS SOLUTION
On Sunday, Cuba Gooding Jr. stars in the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie “Firelight” on ABC, about troubled young women who find themselves by fighting fires. Learn more at abc. go.com/shows/firelight
Starting Sunday on HBO, “Veep” stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Selina Meyer, the new vice
“FoxNews.com Live,” live. foxnews.com
The online companion to Fox News Channel, the live feed offers additional coverage to what’s on-air, including speeches and events not covered - or not covered in their entirety - on-air, conversations between hosts that may have been truncated on-air and original material. There are also links to Fox News Latino, Fox News Radio, uReport (user-generated content), Fox Business and Fox News Insider (blogs).
“Syfy.com/Social,” www. syfy.com/social/
Unsurprisingly, fans of science-fiction, fantasy and adventure-oriented cable channel Syfy are also fans of the Web and all it has to offer, and the cablenet has always served up lots of online extras. On this page, find links to Facebook and Twitter accounts for all its top showsfrom “Alphas” to “Ghost Hunters” to “Warehouse 13” - along with genre-news service Blastr and gadget-oriented news service Dvice. There’s also a link to mobile app Shazam.
president of the United States. Get in the second spot at www. hbo.com/veep/index.html
“The L.A. Complex” premieres Tuesday on The CW, following aspiring performers living in an apartment-style motel while seeking fame in Hollywood. Learn more at www.cwtv.com/ shows/the-la-complex
Premiering Tuesday on HGTV, “The White Room Challenge” features designers creating all-white rooms. Get monochromatic at www.hgtv.com/whiteroom-challenge/show/index. html
Starting Wednesday on Syfy, “Total Blackout,” with host Jaleel White, features contestants facing extreme challenges
“The CW Social,” www.cwtv. com/thecw/social
With its audience skewing younger and more female than some other broadcast networks, it’s not surprising that The CW is all-in on social media. The home page for its efforts features its original “CWingo” game, which users can play during the shows, links to check-in site Get-Glue, a way to personalize the viewing experience with “FANS,” Twitter and Facebook directories for CW casts and crews, and a Twitter feed for such personalties as Scott Porter (ScottPorter) of “Hart of Dixie” and Shane West (ShaneWest) of “Nikita.
in total darkness. Face your fears at www.syfy.com/totalblackout
After having a baby, “Real Housewife” Kim Zolciak weds, as chronicled in Bravo’s “Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding,” premiering Thursday. Get ready at www.bravotv.com/dont-betardy-for-the-wedding
Housewives/Atl.Housewives/Atl.Housewives/NJBethenny Ever HappensBethenny Ever Housewives/NJHousewives/Atl.HappensHousewives/OCPaidPaidPaidPaidInterior Therapy (CNBC) The Kudlow ReportMarijuana: IndustryBiography-CNBCThe FacebookMad MoneyBiography-CNBCThe FacebookPaidPaidPaidPaidWorldwide Exchange (N) Squawk Box (N) (CNN) E. B. OutFrontAnderson CooperPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperEarly Start (N) (COM) 30 Rock30 RockFturamaSouth PkSunnySunnySunnySunnyDailyColbertSouth PkSouth PkDailyColbertSunnyFturamaChapChapRENO ComedyPaidPaidPaidPaid (DISC) American ChopperAmerican ChopperAmerican ChopperPlane LandingsAmerican ChopperPlane LandingsAmerican ChopperAmerican ChopperPaidInsanityPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidCreflo (DISN) JessieAustinShake It“Princess Protection”JessieAustinWizardsGood WizardsWizardsGood Good RandomRandomDeckDeckPhineasPhineasPhineasPhineas3rd & Little (E!) E! News (N) Fashion PoliceKhloeKhloeDeath in ParadiseChelseaE! News ChelseaTrue HollywoodChelseaSoupGirlsGirlsPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid
MLB Baseball New York Yankees at Texas Rangers. (CC) Baseball TonightSportsCenter
(EWTN) Daily MassThe Journey HomeGenesisRosaryWorld Over LiveVaticanoWomen Daily MassThe Journey HomeAngelica LiveGivingFathersSaintsSaintsDanaMaryOriginalCatholic
(CC) Eureka “Lost” (S) Eureka (N) (CC) Lost Girl (N) (CC) Eureka (S) (CC) Lost Girl (S) (CC) Ghost WhispererStargate SG-1 (S) Sanctuary (CC) PaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TBN)
MasterPottersBehindCreatingFranklinDupl’tisPraise the Lord (CC)
OsteenMannaAgainstCrefloPraise the Lord “TBN Classics” (CC)
HistoryHead-OnMusicWom (TBS) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S)
Conan (N) The Office (CC) The Office (CC)
Conan Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) “Coming & Going” (2011) Rhys Darby, Sasha Alexander. (CC)
MarriedMarriedMarriedMarried (TCM) (5:30) ›› “Steel Against the Sky”
›› “Ambush” (1949) Robert Taylor, John Hodiak. (CC) (:45) ›› “Ride Lonesome” (1959) Randolph Scott. (CC) (:15) ››› “Geronimo” (1962, Western) Chuck Connors, Kamala Devi.
›››› “Stagecoach” (1939) John Wayne. (CC) (:45) ›› “Fort Massacre” (1958, Western) Joel McCrea. (:15) ›› “Apache Trail” (1942, Western) Lloyd Nolan. Now Playing ››› “Fire Down Below” (1957) (CC) (TLC) Undercover BossUndercover BossUndercover BossMama’sMama’sUndercover BossUndercover BossMama’sMama’sUndercover BossPopoffPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidCouplePeople (TNT) Law & Order (S) The Mentalist (S) The Mentalist (S) The Closer (CC) Rizzoli & IslesCSI: NY (S) (CC) CSI: NY (S) (CC) Falling SkiesLaw & Order (S) Cold Case (CC) Smallville “Bride” Angel (CC) (TOON) AdvenAdvenRegularMAD (N) King/HillKing/HillAmer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyChickenBoonAqua Amer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyChickenTitan Aqua King/HillKing/HillLooneyBen 10 (TRAV) No ReservationNo ReservationNo ReservationHotel ImpossibleHotel ImpossibleNo ReservationHotel ImpossibleHotel ImpossibleNo ReservationPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TRUTV) World’s Dumbest...World’s Dumbest...RepoRepoRepoRepoTowTowWorld’s Dumbest...RepoRepoRepoRepoTowTowThe InvestigatorsForensicPaidPaidPaid (TVLAND) M*A*S*H (CC) Home Improve. Home Improve. Home Improve. Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond King of Queens (:11) The King of Queens (S) (CC) King of Queens King of Queens Roseanne (S) The Nanny The Nanny 3’s Company 3’s Company Roseanne (S) Home Improve. The Jeffersons Paid Program Paid Program (USA) NCIS: Los Angeles “Pushback” (CC)
WWE Monday Night RAW (N) (S Live) (CC) (:05) › “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” (2009, Action) Channing Tatum, Dennis Quaid. (CC) (:35) › “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” (2009, Action) Channing Tatum, Dennis Quaid. (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (WGN-A) Funny VideosFunny VideosFunny VideosNews at Nine30 RockScrubsScrubsDeathDeathSunnySunnyFturamaFturamaSouth PkSouth PkMad Ab’tPaidPaidPaidJ. Meyer
PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) Mayweather Mayweather Real Time With Bill Maher (S) (CC) Veep (S) (CC) ›› “Fast Five” (2011, Action) Vin Diesel, Paul Walker. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC) Ricky Gervais Mayweather (:45) ›› “Knight and Day” (2010, Action) Tom Cruise. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
(:40) ›› “Predators” (2010, Science Fiction) Adrien Brody. (S) ‘R’ (CC) ›› “Smilla’s Sense of Snow” (1997, Suspense) Julia Ormond. (S) ‘R’ (CC) “Quiz Show” (MAX) (5:15) ›› “The Eagle” (2011) (CC)
(:15) ›› “Major League” (1989, Comedy) Tom Berenger. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
› “Major League II” (1994, Comedy) Charlie Sheen. (S) ‘PG’ (CC)
(10:50) ›› “A Nightmare on Elm Street” (2010) (S) ‘R’
“Sweet Prudence & the Erotic Adventure of Bigfoot”
“Dead Men Walking” (2005, Horror) Griff Furst, Bay Bruner. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:05) ›› “The Concorde: Airport ’79” (1979, Suspense) Alain Delon. ‘PG’ (CC) (SHOW) (5:30) “Few Options” (2011) ‘NR’ Weeds “Bags” Weeds (CC) The Borgias (S) (CC)
Nurse Jackie The Big C (CC) The Borgias (S) (CC)
Nurse Jackie The Big C (CC)
“Without Men” (2011) Eva Longoria. Premiere. ‘R’
›› “Jackass: The Movie” (2002) Johnny Knoxville. ‘R’
››› “Transsiberian” (2008, Suspense) Woody Harrelson. (S) ‘R’
››› “Night Catches Us” (2010) Anthony Mackie. ‘R’
“King of Paper Chasin’” (2009, Crime Drama) D.L., Jason Rivera. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:40) ›› “Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat” (2002) Martin Lawrence. (S) ‘R’ (:25) “Bikini Chain Gang” (2005, Adult) (S) ‘NR’ (CC)
(1:50) ››› “Humpday” (2009) Mark Duplass. ‘R’ (CC) ›› “Trollhunter” (2010, Action) Otto Jespersen. ‘PG-13’ (:15) ››› “Make Believe” (2010) (S)
›› “Daisies in December” (1995) (TMC) “Phunny Business: A Black Comedy”
“O Brother, Where Art Thou?” (2000) George Clooney, John Turturro. (CC)
“O Brother, Where Art Thou?” (2000) George Clooney, John Turturro. (CC)
“Kindergarten Cop” (1990, Comedy) Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller. (CC) ›› “Three Amigos!” (1986, Western) Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, Martin Short. Paid Program Paid Program (AP) Wild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) Frozen Planet (S) Frozen Planet (S) Wild Russia (CC) Frozen Planet (S) Frozen Planet (S) Wild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) Frozen Planet (S) Frozen Planet (S) OranguEden (BRAVO) Housewives/NJHousewives/OCHousewives/OCHousewives/OCHappensHousewives/OCHousewives/Atl.Housewives/NJHappensHousewives/OCPaidPaidPaidPaidTop Chef: Texas (CNBC) The Kudlow ReportTarget: Inside60 Minutes on60 Minutes onMad Money60 Minutes on60 Minutes onPaidPaidPaidPaidWorldwide Exchange (N) Squawk Box (N) (CNN) E. B. OutFrontAnderson CooperPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperEarly Start (N) (COM) 30 Rock30 RockWork.South PkTosh.0Tosh.0Tosh.0Tosh.0DailyColbertTosh.0Work.DailyColbertSunnyTosh.0KeyFturamaFturamaComedyPaidPaidPaidPaid (DISC) Deadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchPopoffPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidTake Creflo (DISN) JessieAustinANT “Another Cinderella Story”JessieAustinWizardsGood WizardsWizardsGood Good ANT ANT DeckDeckPhineasPhineasPhineas Phineas3rd & Little (E!) E! News (N) Ice-CocoIce-Coco ›› “Along Came Polly” (2004) ChelseaE! News ChelseaKhloeKhloeChelseaIce-CocoGirlsGirlsPaidPaidPaidPaidTriVitaPaid (ESPN) E:60 (N) NFL Live (N) (CC) SportsCenter SpeSportsCenterSportsCenter (N) SportsCenter (N) SportsCenter (N) SportsCenter (N) SportsCenterSportsCenterSportsCenterSportsCenter (ESPN2) Bowling Women’s USBC Queens. From Arlington, Texas. (N) (Live) (CC) E:60 (N) Baseball Tonight (N) (Live) (CC) NFL Live (N) (CC) Baseball Tonight (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter Special: On the Clock SportsCenter Special (N) (CC) SportsNation (CC) QB Camp NASCAR Now SportsNation (CC) Mike and Mike in the Morning (N) (EWTN) Daily MassAngelica LiveEWTNRosaryThreshold of HopeAgesWomen Daily MassAngelica LiveThe Abundant LifeFounDiaAgesPapal AudienceThe OriginalChurch
(NICK) Sponge.Sponge.GeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeFriendsFriendsFriendsFriendsGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeGeorgeTBAMattersMatters (SPIKE) Jail (S) Jail (S) Jail (S) Big EasyBig EasyBig EasyBig EasyBig EasyRepoRepoJail (S) Jail (S) Jail (S) Jail (S) EntouEntouEntouEntouPaidPaidPaidDefrostKitchenPaid (SYFY) Dream MachinesFact or FakedFact or FakedDream MachinesFact or FakedDream Machines“30 Days of Night: Dark Days” (2010) › “FeardotCom” (2002) Stephen Dorff. PaidPaidPaidPaid (TBN) CrossPottersBehindJ. MeyerJ. HageeParsleyPraise the Lord (CC)
ACLJHead-OnFull CrefloPraise the Lord “TBN Classics” (CC) Miracles AroundEvidnceWom (TBS) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) Big BangBig BangBig BangBig BangBig BangBig BangConan (N) (CC) The Office (CC) The Office (CC)
Conan (CC) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) ›› “Swing Vote” (2008, Comedy) Kevin Costner, Madeline Carroll, Paula Patton. (CC) MarriedMarriedMarried (TCM) (4:45) ›››› “The Apartment” ››› “The Way We Were” (1973) Barbra Streisand, Robert Redford. (CC) (:15)
›››› “Funny Girl” (1968) Barbra Streisand. Ziegfeld Follies’ Fanny Brice loves gambler Nicky Arnstein. (CC)
››› “The Prince of Tides” (1991, Romance) Nick Nolte, Barbra Streisand. Premiere. ››› “The Owl and the Pussycat” (1970) (CC) (:15) ›› “Funny Lady” (1975) Barbra Streisand, James Caan. (CC) (TLC) Mama’sMama’sSay YesSay YesMediumMediumCoupleCoupleSay YesSay YesMediumMediumCoupleCoupleMama’sMama’sPaidPaidPaidTriVitaPaidPaid PeoplePeople (TNT) Bones (S) (CC)
NBA Basketball Miami Heat at Boston Celtics. (N) NBA Basketball Phoenix Suns at Utah Jazz. (N) Inside the NBA (N) Falling SkiesLaw & Order (S) Cold Case (CC) Smallville “Legion” Angel “Hellbound” (TOON) AdvenGumballLevel UpAdvenKing/HillKing/HillAmer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyChickenBoonAqua Amer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyChickenTitanAqua King/HillKing/HillLooneyBen 10 (TRAV) Bizarre FoodsMysteries-MuseumMysteries-MuseumOff Limits (N) Off Limits (CC) Mysteries-MuseumOff Limits (CC) Off Limits (CC) Mysteries-MuseumPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TRUTV) World’s Dumbest...PawnPawnPawnPawnWienerWienerVegas Vegas
PawnPawnPawnPawnWienerWienerVegas Vegas The InvestigatorsForensicPaid PaidPaid (TVLAND) M*A*S*H (CC) M*A*S*H (CC) Home Improve. Home Improve. Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond Happily Divorced Cleveland King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens Roseanne The Nanny The Nanny 3’s Company 3’s Company Roseanne Home Improve. The Jeffersons Paid Program Paid Program (USA) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (S) CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (S) CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (S) ›› “The Wedding Planner” (2001, Romance-Comedy) Jennifer Lopez. (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) (WGN-A) Funny VideosMotherMotherMotherMotherMLB Baseball Chicago White Sox at Oakland Athletics. (N) DeathSunnySunnyFturamaFturamaSouth PkSouth PkMad Ab’tPaidPaidPaidJ. Meyer
PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) “Chronicles-Dawn Treader” ›› “Water for Elephants” (2011) Reese Witherspoon. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
Mayweather Veep (S) (CC) Game of Thrones “Garden of Bones” Ricky Gervais ››› “Bridesmaids” (2011, Comedy) Kristen Wiig, Rose Byrne. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
Face Off, Max Taxicab Confessions 2002
(2:50) ››› “Big Stan” (2007) Rob Schneider. (S) ‘R’
Fast Five ›› “Critters 3” (1992) ‘PG-13’ (CC) (MAX) “Hall Pass” (:45) ››› “The Town” (2010, Crime Drama) Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, Jon Hamm. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
› “Little Fockers” (2010) Robert De Niro. ‘PG-13’ (CC) Girl’s Guide (:10) ›› “Machete” (2010, Action) Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
Forbidden Science Feature 3: Synthetic Dreams (CC) ›› “Phone Booth” (2002) Colin Farrell. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(3:50) ›› “Last Days” (2005) Michael Pitt. ‘R’ (CC) “Great Out.” (SHOW) (5:00) ›› “I Am Number Four” (CC) The Borgias (S) (CC) The Big C (CC) Nurse Jackie The Borgias (S) (CC) The Big C (CC) Nurse Jackie ››› “Blue Valentine” (2010, Drama) Ryan Gosling. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
›› “Janie Jones” (2010, Drama) Abigail Breslin. (S) ‘NR’ (CC) Margaret Cho: Cho Dependent (S) (CC) ›› “Holy Rollers” (2010) Jesse Eisenberg. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (TMC) (5:00) ›› “The Tempest” (2010) “Rest Stop: Dead Ahead” (2006) Jaimie Alexander. ‘R’
“Rest Stop: Don’t Look Back” (2008) Diane Salinger.
“Beneath the Dark” (2010) Josh Stewart. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (:45) “Sweet Karma” (2009) Shera Bechard. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (:15) ›› “Good Neighbours” (2010, Crime Drama) Jay Baruchel. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
›› “Crash Dive” (1997) Michael Dudikoff. (S) ‘R’ (CC) ›› “Blind Terror” (1999) Nastassja Kinski. ‘NR’ (CC)
(AMC) CSI: Miami “Skeletons” (S) (CC)
››› “North Country” (2005, Drama) Charlize Theron. A miner charges her employer with sexual harassment. (CC)
›› “Legends of the Fall” (1994, Drama) Brad Pitt. The forces of love and war slowly destroy a Montana family.
›› “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” (2001) Ben Affleck, Jeff Anderson. (CC) ››› “The Darjeeling Limited” (2007) Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody. (CC) Paid Program Nopalea with (AP) Tanked “Be Cool” Tanked (S) River Monsters (S) River Monsters (S) Tanked (S) River Monsters (S) River Monsters (S) Tanked “Be Cool” Tanked (S) River Monsters (S) River Monsters (S) OranguEden (BRAVO) Interior TherapyHousewives/OCInterior TherapyMillion DollarHappensInterior TherapyMillion DollarHousewives/OCHappensMillion DollarPaidPaidPaidPaidHousewives/Atl. (CNBC) The Kudlow ReportNew Wal-MartAmerican GreedAmerican GreedMad MoneyAmerican GreedAmerican GreedPaidGrt PilPaidPaidWorldwide Exchange (N) Squawk Box (N) (CNN) E. B. OutFrontAnderson CooperPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperEarly Start (N) (COM) 30 Rock30 RockChapKeySouth PkSouth PkSouth PkUglyDailyColbertSouth PkUglyDailyColbertSunnyFturamaFturamaWork.TJ MillerSwardPaidPaidPaidPaid
(DISC) Sons of Guns (S) Sons of Guns (S) Sons of Guns (N) American Guns (N) Sons of Guns (S) American Guns (S) Sons of Guns (S) Sons of Guns (S) PopoffPaidTelePaidPaidPaidPaidCreflo (DISN) JessieAustinJessiePhineasShake ItJessieJessieAustinWizardsGood WizardsWizardsGood Good RandomRandomDeckDeckPhineasPhineasPhineasPhineas3rd & Little (E!) E! News (N) ›› “Legally Blonde” (2001) Premiere. SoupSoupChelseaE! News ChelseaSoupIce-CocoChelseaKhloeGirlsGirlsPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (ESPN) SportCtrNBANBA Basketball: Clippers at Knicks NBA Basketball: Spurs at Suns
SportsCenter (N) SportsCenter (N) NBA Basketball: Clippers at Knicks SportsCenterSportsCenter (ESPN2) MLB Baseball Teams TBA. (N Subject to Blackout) (Live) (CC) Baseball Tonight (N) (Live) (CC)
SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC)
SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC)
NBA Tonight (N) Baseball Tonight (N) (Live) (CC)
NBA Basketball San Antonio Spurs at Phoenix Suns. (N Same-day Tape)
NBA Tonight NFL Live (N) (CC) Mike and Mike in the Morning (N) (EWTN) Daily MassEWTN LiveSaintRosarySaintsCatholic.FaithWomen Daily
Sponge.Sponge.My WifeMy WifeGeorgeGeorge’70s’70sFriendsFriendsFriendsFriends’70s’70sChrisGeorgeGeorgeMy WifeMy WifeNannyNannyTBAMattersMatters (SPIKE) AuctionAuctionAuctionAuctionAuctionAuctionAm DigAm DigAm DigAm DigAuctionAuctionAm DigAm DigRepoEntouEntouEntouPaidPaidDefrostPaidPaidPaid (SYFY) Ghost Hunters (S) Ghost Hunters (S) Ghost Hunters (N) Total BlackoutGhost Hunters (S) Total BlackoutLost Girl (S) (CC) Stargate SG-1 (S) “Moby Dick” (2010) William Hurt. PaidPaidPaidPaid (TBN) Billy GrahamBehindTurningPrinceEndPraise the Lord (CC) EasterDupl’tisHistoryCrefloPraise the Lord “TBN Classics” (CC) BibleAgainstCrossWom (TBS) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S) Big BangBig BangConan (N) (CC) The Office (CC) The Office (CC)
Conan (CC) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) ››› “The Legend of Bagger Vance” (2000, Drama) Will Smith, Matt Damon. (CC) MarriedMarriedMarried (TCM) (5:30) ›› “Riders to the Stars”
›› “Sweepings” (1933, Drama) Lionel Barrymore. ›› “Jalna” (1935, Drama) Kay Johnson, Ian Hunter. ››› “Little Lord Fauntleroy” (1936, Drama) (CC) (:45) ›››› “The Enchanted Cottage” (1945) Robert Young. (CC) (DVS) ›› “Night Song” (1947, Drama) Dana Andrews. (CC) (:15) ›› “The Racket” (1951) Robert Mitchum, Robert Ryan. (CC) ››› “Night of the Iguana” (1964) (TLC) AddicAddicObsesObsesToddlers & TiarasToddlers & TiarasToddlers & TiarasToddlers & TiarasObsesObsesAddicAddicPopoffPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPeoplePeople (TNT) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) CSI: NY (S) (CC) CSI: NY (S) (CC) CSI: NY (S) (CC) Leverage (CC) Law & Order (S) NUMB3RS (CC) Smallville (CC) Angel (S) (CC) (TOON) AdvenJohnnyNinjaGoLevel UpKing/HillKing/HillAmer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyChickenBoonAqua Amer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyChickenTitanAqua King/HillKing/HillLooneyBen 10 (TRAV) Extreme RV’sSecretsSecretsMan v Man v Bggg Bggg
FoodFoodMan v Man v Bggg Bggg FoodFoodSecretsSecretsPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TRUTV) World’s Dumbest...RepoRepoRepoTowTowTowBait CarBait CarRepoRepoRepoTowTowTowBait CarBait CarThe InvestigatorsForensicPaidPaidPaid (TVLAND) M*A*S*H “Kim” M*A*S*H (CC) Home Improve. Home Improve. Raymond Raymond Cleveland Happily Divorced King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens Cleveland Happily Divorced Roseanne The Nanny The Nanny 3’s Company 3’s Company Roseanne Home Improve. The Jeffersons Paid Program Paid Program (USA) NCIS A young sailor’s body is found.
NCIS A Navy lieutenant is poisoned.
NCIS A Marine on life support. (CC)
NCIS A petty officer is murdered. Fairly Legal “What They Seem” (CC) NCIS “Driven” (S) (CC) NCIS Intelligence officer is killed. (S) House “Three Stories” (S) (CC) House “Honeymoon” (S) (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) (WGN-A) Funny VideosFunny VideosFunny VideosNews at Nine30 RockScrubsScrubsDeathDeathSunnySunnyFturamaFturamaSouth PkSouth PkMad Ab’tPaidPaidPaidJ. Meyer
PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) (5:30) ›› “The Losers” (2010) (S) Portrait, Fight Mayweather Veep (S) (CC) Girls (S) (CC) Game of Thrones “Garden of Bones”
Real Time With Bill Maher (S) (CC)
›› “Fast Five” (2011, Action) Vin Diesel, Paul Walker. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
Mayweather (:45) ››› “Boogie Nights” (1997, Drama) Mark Wahlberg. A porn star’s ego leads to his downfall. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (:25) The Curious Case of Curt Flood (S) (CC) (MAX) “Big Mommas: Like Father” ››› “The Accused” (1988, Drama) Kelly McGillis, Jodie Foster. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
››› “Get Him to the Greek” (2010, Comedy) Jonah Hill. (S) ‘NR’ (CC) Lingerie (CC)
››› “The Usual Suspects” (1995) Stephen Baldwin. (S) ‘R’ (CC) Girl’s Guide (1:50) ››› “William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet” (1996) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
(3:50) ››› “No Down Payment” (1957) (S) ‘NR’ (CC) “Pillow Talk” (SHOW) ›› “Red” (2010, Action) Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
›› “Scream 4” (2011, Horror) Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
››› “Fire of Conscience” (2010, Action) Leon Lai, Richie Jen. ‘R’
›› “Piranha” (2010) Elisabeth Shue. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(8:50) “A Get2Gether” (2005) B. Cole. (S) ‘NR’ (CC)
›› “Square Grouper” (2011, Documentary) ‘R’
(:15) ››› “Transsiberian” (2008, Suspense) Woody Harrelson. (S) ‘R’
› “The Heart Specialist” (2006) Wood Harris. ‘R’ (CC) (12:10) ›› “Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll” (2010) Andy Serkis. (S) ‘NR’ (CC)
(:10) ››› “Better Luck Tomorrow” (2002) Parry Shen, Sung Kang. ‘R’ (CC) “Saving God” (2008) Ving Rhames. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC) “Nativity!” ‘PG’
(:15) ›› “The Core” (2003) Aaron Eckhart. Scientists travel to the center of the Earth. ‘PG-13’ “Blessed” (TMC) (5:15) “Noble Things” (2008) ‘R’
THURSDAY EVENING APRIL 26, 2012
Martin Sheen. An
››› “Braveheart” (1995, Historical Drama) Mel Gibson, Sophie Marceau, Patrick McGoohan. A Scottish rebel rallies his countrymen against England. (CC) CSI: Miami “Deviant” (S) (CC) Three Stooges Paid Program Paid Program (AP) Blue Planet: SeasWild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) Blue Planet: SeasWild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) Wild Russia (CC) OranguEden (BRAVO) Housewives/Atl.Housewives/OCDon’t BeDon’t BeKathy (N) Happens(:31) KathyDon’t BeDon’t BeHousewives/NJHappensKathy PaidPaidPaidPaidInterior Therapy (CNBC) The Kudlow ReportSupermarketsCostco CrazeCostco CrazeMad MoneyCostco CrazeCostco CrazePaidPaidPaidPaidWorldwide Exchange (N) Squawk Box (N) (CNN)
E. B. OutFrontAnderson CooperPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperEarly Start (N) (COM) 30 Rock30 RockFturamaFturamaFturamaFturamaSouth PkTosh.0DailyColbertTosh.0Tosh.0DailyColbertSunnyISolated INcidentFturamaSwardComedyPaidPaidPaidPaid (DISC) AuctionAuctionAuctionAuctionAuctionAuctionFinal Offer (CC) AuctionAuctionFinal Offer (CC) AuctionAuctionAuctionAuctionPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidCreflo (DISN) JessieAustinANT “My Babysitter’s a Vampire”JessieAustinWizardsGood WizardsWizardsGood Good ANT ANT DeckDeckPhineasPhineasPhineasPhineas3rd & Little (E!) E! News (N) SoupKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeKhloeChelseaE! News ChelseaIce-CocoIce-CocoChelseaSoupGirlsGirlsPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid
Sponge.Sponge.My WifeMy WifeGeorgeGeorge’70s’70sFriendsFriendsFriendsFriends’70s’70sChrisGeorgeGeorgeMy WifeMy WifeNannyNannyTBAMattersMatters (SPIKE) DEA (S) Big EasyBig EasyiMPACT Wrestling (N) (S) (CC) MMAWays BlueBlueGTTVEntouMMAEntouEntouWays PaidPaidPaidDefrostKitchenPaid (SYFY) ›› “Jeepers Creepers 2” (2003) (CC) ›› “Jeepers Creepers” (2001) ›› “Jeepers Creepers 2” (2003) (CC) Total BlackoutStargate SG-1 (S) › “The Graves” (2010) Clare Grant. Stargate UniversePaidPaid (TBN)
GoodPottersBehindOsteenPrinceHillsong ››› “The Passion of the Christ” (2004) Changed LivesCrefloPraise the Lord “TBN Classics” (CC) Turning PointFireWom (TBS) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) Family Guy (S) Family Guy (S) Big BangBig BangBig BangBig BangConan (N) (CC) The Office (CC) The Office (CC) Conan (CC) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) ›› “Vertical Limit” (2000, Suspense) Chris O’Donnell, Bill Paxton, Robin Tunney. (CC) MarriedMarriedMarried (TCM) (4:45) ››› “The Misfits” (1961)
›› “Triple Cross” (1967, Suspense) Christopher Plummer, Yul Brynner. (:15) ››› “The Magnificent Seven” (1960, Western) Yul Brynner, Eli Wallach. (CC) ›› “Kings of the Sun” (1963, Adventure) Yul Brynner, George Chakiris. (CC)
››› “The Double Man” (1967) Yul Brynner, Britt Ekland. Premiere. ›› “Flight From Ashiya” (1964, Adventure) Yul Brynner, Richard Widmark. “Jazz Singer” (TLC) Hoard-BuriedHoard-BuriedStrangeStrangeStrange SexStrangeStrangeStrange Sex (CC) Hoard-BuriedHoard-BuriedPaidPaidPaidPaidTriVitaPaidThe Queen (CC)
(TNT) Bones (S) (CC)
NBA Basketball: Knicks at Bobcats NBA Basketball: Spurs at Warriors Inside the NBA (N) Leverage (CC) Law & Order (S) NUMB3RS (CC) Smallville “Power” Angel “Destiny” (TOON) AdvenAdvenMADRegularKing/HillKing/HillAmer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyEagleDelocateAqua Amer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyEagleTitanAqua King/HillKing/HillLooneyBen 10 (TRAV) FoodFoodTruck Truck Sand M.Sand M.Hotel ImpossibleNo ReservationSand M.Sand M.Hotel ImpossibleNo ReservationTruck Truck PaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TRUTV) World’s Dumbest...World’s Dumbest...Not Safe For WorkJokersJokersMost ShockingWorld’s Dumbest...Not Safe For WorkJokersJokersMost ShockingThe InvestigatorsForensicPaidPaidPaid (TVLAND) (5:52)
M*A*S*H (:24) M*A*S*H Home Improve. Home Improve. Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens Roseanne (S) The Nanny The Nanny
3’s Company 3’s Company
3’s Company Roseanne (S) Home Improve. The Jeffersons Paid Program Paid Program (USA) NCIS “Family” (S) (CC)
NCIS “Ex-File” (S) (CC)
NCIS “Identity Crisis” (S) (CC)
NCIS A distraught naval officer. (S) In Plain Sight “The Medal of Mary”
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (S)
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (S)
› “The Number 23” (2007, Mystery) Jim Carrey, Virginia Madsen. (CC)
Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Law & Order: Criminal Intent (CC) Fairly Legal “What They Seem” (CC) (WGN-A) Funny VideosMLB Baseball Boston Red Sox at Chicago White Sox. (N) 30 RockScrubsScrubsDeathDeathSunnySunnyFturamaFturamaSouth PkSouth PkMad Ab’tPaidPaidPaidJ. Meyer
PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) (5:00) ›› “Knight and Day” (2010)
›› “Horrible Bosses” (2011) Jason Bateman. (S) ‘R’ Making Veep (S) True Blood Sookie nurtures Eric. (S) Cathouse Katie Morgan Girls (S) (CC) REAL Sports With Bryant Gumbel (S) ›› “Due Date” (2010) Robert Downey Jr. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:10) ›› “Horrible Bosses” (2011, Comedy) Jason Bateman. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(3:50) ››› “The Kids Are All Right” (2010) (S) ‘R’ (CC) “Bushwhck” (MAX) (4:45) ››› “X-Men: First Class”
›› “Arthur” (2011) Russell Brand, Helen Mirren. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
›››› “Alien” (1979, Science Fiction) Tom Skerritt. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
“Sexual Witchcraft” (2010) Christine Nguyen. ‘NR’ (CC) (:20) ›› “Sex and the City 2” (2010, RomanceComedy) Sarah Jessica Parker. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
Femme Fatales (:20) › “Speed 2: Cruise Control” (1997) Sandra Bullock. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC) “Madame X” (SHOW) “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”
(6:55) ›› “Flypaper” (2011) Patrick Dempsey. ‘NR’ (:25) “Last Night” (2010) Keira Knightley. Premiere. ‘R’ Gigolos (CC)
›› “Windtalkers” (2002, War) Nicolas Cage, Adam Beach. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
Sunset Place
(:15) ››› “The Messenger” (2009, Drama) Ben Foster. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
›› “Sonny” (2002, Drama) James Franco, Brenda Blethyn. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:10) “All Good Things” (2010, Mystery) Ryan Gosling. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
Bryan Callen: Man Class The comic performs. (S) (CC) “Without Men” (2011, Comedy) Eva Longoria. ‘R’
“OC Confidential” (2008) ‘NR’ (CC)
(:15) › “Ong Bak 3” (2010, Action) Tony Jaa. (Subtitled-English) (S) ‘R’
“Evasive Action” (1998) Dorian Harewood. ‘R’ (CC) “Bareft. Exec.”
››› “Smoke Signals” (1998) Adam Beach. ‘PG-13’ “Shadow Zone” (TMC) (5:20) ›› “Circle of Iron” (1979) ‘R’
››› “Speed” (1994) Keanu Reeves. A transit bus is wired to explode if it drops below 50 mph.
›› “The Beach” (2000) Leonardo DiCaprio. An aimless traveler journeys to a secret island utopia.
››› “War of the Worlds” (1953) Gene Barry, Ann Robinson.
› “The Day the World Ended” (1956) Lori Nelson (:45) › “Invasion of the Neptune Men” (1961) The Rifleman The Rifleman (AP) Whale Wars (CC) Whale WarsWhale WarsFrozen Planet (S) Whale WarsFrozen Planet (S) Whale WarsWhale Wars (CC) Whale WarsWhale WarsFrozen Planet (S) Big CatBig Cat (BRAVO) Don’t BeDon’t BeKathy ›› “Quantum of Solace” (2008) Daniel Craig. ›› “Quantum of Solace” (2008) Daniel Craig. Interior TherapyInterior TherapyPaidPaidPaidPaidCeleb. Apprentice (CNBC) The Kudlow ReportThe Celebrity Apprentice “Puppet Up!” MillionsMillionsMad MoneyThe Celebrity Apprentice “Puppet Up!” PaidPaidPaidPaidMad MoneySuze Orman ShowOptionsPaid (CNN) E. B. OutFrontAnderson CooperPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperE. B. OutFrontPiers MorganAnderson CooperPiers MorganWk Early Start (COM) Tosh.0Tosh.0SunnySunnySouth Pk“The Goods: Live Hard. Sell Hard.”South PkChapComedyComedyComedyComedyComedyJohn MulaneyCarlos MenciaPaidPaidPaidPaid
(DISC) Deadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchDeadliest CatchPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (DISN) JessieAustinJessiePhineasFish ANT AustinGood ANT ANT JessiePhineasAustinJessieShake It“The Even Stevens Movie”PhineasPhineasPhineasPhineasLittleOcto
E! News (N) Fashion StarKate-WillKate-WillFashion Police (N) ChelseaE! News ChelseaFashion
(NICK) Sponge.Sponge.FredSponge.GeorgeGeorge’70s’70sFriendsFriendsFriendsFriends’70s’70sChrisGeorgeGeorgeMy WifeMy WifeNannyNannyTBABarnyardPenguin (SPIKE) UFC Unleashed (S) “I Am Bruce Lee” (2011) (S) ››› “The Fugitive” (1993, Suspense) Harrison Ford. (S) ››› “Deliverance” (1972) Jon Voight. (S) RepoPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (SYFY) Total BlackoutWWE Friday Night SmackDown! (N) (S) Dream MachinesTotal BlackoutLost Girl (S) (CC) Fact or FakedStargate SG-1 (S) › “Mongolian Death Worm” (2010) Stargate UniversePaidPaid (TBN) Sup.PottersBehindReportHarvestP. StonePraise the Lord (CC)
PriceFocusSecretsCrefloIsrael: Journey of ReflecXtremeImpactRampStoriesStoryCherubPhphy (TBS) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) House of Payne House of Payne House of Payne House of Payne ››› “Catch Me if You Can” (2002) Leonardo DiCaprio. A teenage scam artist poses as a pilot, surgeon and lawyer.
(12:05) ››› “Catch Me if You Can” (2002, Comedy-Drama) Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks. (CC) (:05) ›› “The Pink Panther” (2006, Comedy) Steve Martin, Kevin Kline. MarriedMarried (TCM) (5:30) ›› “The Strip” (1951) (CC) ››› “Stage Door” (1937) Katharine Hepburn. (:45) ›› “It All Came True” (1940) Humphrey Bogart, Ann Sheridan. (CC) ›› “Million Dollar Baby” (1941) Priscilla Lane. (CC) (12:15) ›› “Adventures of a Rookie” (1943, Comedy) › “Freaked” (1993) Alex Winter, Megan Ward. (CC) ›› “UHF” (1989, Comedy) Weird Al Yankovic. (CC) Curious Alice ›› “I Take This Woman” (1940) (TLC) Gypsy WeddingSay YesSay YesSay YesSay YesGypsy WeddingSay YesSay YesGypsy WeddingSay YesSay YesGypsy WeddingPaidPaidPaidDefrost PaidPaidPaidPaid (TNT) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) ›› “Blade: Trinity” (2004) (CC) ››› “The Last Samurai” (2003) Tom Cruise. (CC) ›› “Conspiracy Theory” (1997) Mel Gibson. (CC) Smallville (CC) (:15) Law & Order (TOON) AdvenNinjaGoCartoon PlanetKing/HillKing/HillAmer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyChickenBoonAqua Amer.Amer.Fam GuyFam GuyChickenBoonAqua King/HillKing/HillLooneyLooney (TRAV) Ghost AdventuresGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresThe Dead FilesGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresThe Dead FilesGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TRUTV) World’s Dumbest...World’s Dumbest...Most ShockingMost ShockingForensicForensicWorld’s Dumbest...Most ShockingMost ShockingForensicForensicThe InvestigatorsForensicPaidPaidPaid (TVLAND) M*A*S*H (CC) M*A*S*H (CC) Home Improve. Home Improve. Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens (:15) Roseanne “Of Ice and Men” (S)
3’s Company 3’s Company 3’s Company Roseanne (S) Home Improve. 3’s Company 3’s Company 3’s Company (USA) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Fairly Legal “Teenage Wasteland” (N) In Plain Sight “Sacrificial Lam” Suits Mike faces off against Devon. Fairly Legal “Teenage Wasteland” In Plain Sight “Sacrificial Lam”
››› “Chaos” (2005) Jason Statham. Two detectives track a bank robber. Paid Program Paid Program Paid Program Paid Program Monk (CC) (WGN-A) Funny VideosMotherMotherMotherMotherNewsVideos30 RockScrubsScrubsDeathDeathSunnySunnyFturamaFturamaSouth PkSouth PkMad Ab’tPaidPaidSingAdelante
PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) ›› “Unknown” (2011, Suspense) Liam Neeson. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC) Ricky Gervais Too Short Real Time With Bill Maher (N) (CC)
Real Time With Bill Maher (S) (CC)
Ricky Gervais Mayweather
›› “Predators” (2010, Science Fiction) Adrien Brody. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(1997) Kurt Russell. ‘R’ (CC) ›› “The Crush” (1993) Cary Elwes. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(1:50) ››› “Breakdown”
I Can’t Do › “Mr. Magoo” (MAX) “Midnight” ›› “50 First Dates” (2004) Adam Sandler. ‘PG-13’ (CC)
(:10) ›› “Sanctum” (2011, Action) Richard Roxburgh. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:15) ›› “Drive Angry” (2011, Action) Nicolas Cage. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
Girl’s Guide Sex Games Lingerie Feature 7: Let Threesome Ring (S) (CC) ››› “The Blues Brothers” (1980) John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:45) ›› “Firestarter” (1984, Horror) David Keith, Drew Barrymore. ‘R’ (CC)
Boxing Thomas Oosthuizen vs. Marcus Johnson. (N) (Live) “Few Options” (2011, Crime Drama) Kenny Johnson. ‘NR’ “Meskada” (2010, Drama) Nick Stahl, Kellan Lutz. ‘R’
Bobcat Goldthwait“Cafe” (2010, Drama) Khan Baykal, Gavin Bellour. ‘NR’
(:40) ››› “Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life” (1983) (SHOW) “Remembr” (:45) ›› “Beastly” (2011) Alex Pettyfer. ‘PG-13’ (CC)
(TMC) “Phunny Business: A Black Comedy”
›› “The Extra Man” (2010, Comedy) Kevin Kline, Paul Dano. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
› “Triggermen” (2002) Neil Morrissey. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (:40) “Bare Knuckles” (2009) Martin Kove. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC) (12:15) ››› “Night Catches Us” (2010) ‘R’ (CC)
(:45) ›› “Into Temptation” (2009, Drama) Jeremy Sisto. (S) ‘R’ (CC) ›› “The Long Ride” (1984, War) John Savage. ‘NR’ (CC) (:05) “Gadgetman” (1998) (S) (CC)
SATURDAY
APRIL 28, 2012
Parking Wars Parking Wars Parking Wars Parking Wars Parking Wars Storage Wars (AMC) The Rifleman The Rifleman The Rifleman The Rifleman The Rifleman ››› “McLintock!” (1963, Western) John Wayne. A cattle baron meets his match in a strong-willed woman. (CC)
›› “Desperado” (1995, Action) Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Joaquim de Almeida. (CC)
›› “Red Dawn” (1984) Patrick Swayze. High-school guerrillas take on invading Soviet troops. ›› “The Beach” (2000, Drama) Leonardo DiCaprio. (AP) Human Planet (S) Hillbilly Handfishin’Dogs 101 (CC) It’s Me or the DogInfested! (S) (CC) Infested! (S) (CC) Infested! (S) (CC) Infested! (S) (CC) Infested! (S) (CC) Infested! (S) (CC) Infested! (S) (CC) Infested! (S) (CC) (BRAVO) Celeb. ApprenticeInterior TherapyInterior TherapyInterior TherapyInterior TherapyKathy Housewives/NJMillion DollarMillion DollarHousewives/Atl.Housewives/Atl.Don’t BeDon’t Be (CNBC) PaidPaidPaidGrt PilPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (CNN) Newsr’mGuptaCNN Newsroom (N) BottomCNN NewsroomCNN NewsroomCNN NewsroomYour Money (N) CNN NewsroomCNN NewsroomCNN NewsroomCNN NewsroomSituation Room (COM) PaidPaidFturamaFturama ›› “Extract” (2009) Jason Bateman. 30 Rock30 RockSunnySunnySunnySunnySouth PkSouth Pk › “Vegas Vacation” (1997) (CC) ›› “Beerfest” (2006, Comedy) (CC) (DISC)
PaidKitchenPaidPaidMythBusters (CC) MythBusters (CC) American ChopperAmerican ChopperAmerican ChopperAmerican ChopperAmerican ChopperGold Rush (CC) Gold Rush (CC) Gold Rush (CC) (DISN) MickeyDoc MickeyPiratesPhineasPhineasPhineasFish JessieANT WizardsWizardsGood Good Shake ItShake ItAustinAustinAustinAustinGood JessieAustinShake It (E!) Fashion StarKhloeKhloeSoupKate-WillE! News (N) Fashion PoliceIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoIce-CocoKhloeThe Voice (S) (CC)
(ESPN) SportsCenterSportsCenter (N) SportsCenter (N) SportsCenter Special: On the Clock (N) 2012 NFL Draft From New York. (N) (Live) (CC)
(ESPN2) NBA Tonight (CC) The Announcement SportsNation (8:55) English Premier League Soccer Stoke City vs. Arsenal. (N) (Live)
NASCAR Now (N) (Live) (CC)
NBA Tonight (CC) Timbersports Timbersports Series (CC) Timbersports Strongest Man Strongest Man World’s Strongest Man Competition NHRA Drag Racing
(EWTN) ChapletRosaryDaily MassLucyAngelsDonutThe FriarKnightsRosaryDaily MassEWTNVisionarLove Is a ChoiceChapletRosaryServantCatholic.Sunday NightLifeFathers
(FAM) Boy...Boy...Boy... ›› “Dennis the Menace” (1993) ›› “Jumanji” (1995, Fantasy) Robin Williams. ››› “Zathura” (2005) Jonah Bobo “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl”“Pirates-Dead”
(FSN) Fisher.FishingMotorFisherOutLandWoodsOutDW-TVFishingDue RoadsOutCollege Softball Texas A&M at Texas. College Softball Texas A&M at Texas. (N) (Live) Midwest
(FX) ›› “Bedazzled” (2000, Comedy) MotherMotherMotherTwo Two Two Two ›› “The Transporter 2” (2005) ›› “Death Race” (2008) Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson. “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”
(GOLF) Paid Program Paid Program 19th HoleGolf Central European PGA Tour Golf Ballantine’s Championship, Third Round. From South Korea. (N Same-day Tape) Golf Central PGA Tour Golf Zurich Classic of New Orleans, Third Round. Golf Central LPGA Tour Golf Mobile Bay Classic, Third Round. From Mobile, Ala. (N) (Live) Golf Central Golf Acad. (HGTV) Holmes InspectionRehabRehabPropertyPropertyYardYardYardCrashersCrashersBathRoom ContracHomesShowhsBuckHigh LandLandBlockCurb...HuntersHunt Intl (HIST) Heavy Metal (CC) Time Machine (CC) To Be Announced Time Machine (CC) (LIFE) PaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidChrisChris“The Secret Lives of Second Wives” › “Glass House: The Good Mother”“Hush” (2005) Tori Spelling. (CC) “Adopting Terror” (NBCSN) OutSeasonBig Bass ParkerFishingB. DanceAnglingBassSltwtrSaltwaIntoBig FishB. DanceEquestrian (Taped) MLS Soccer: Revolution at Red Bulls IndyCar Racing (NICK) T.U.F.F.ParentsOdd ParentsSponge.Sponge.Sponge.Sponge.FredFredPowerSponge.ParentsParentsBig TimeBig TimeiCarly (S) iCarly (S) iCarly (S) iCarly (S) VictoVictoVictoVicto (SPIKE) PaidPaidPaidPaidAm DigAm DigAm DigAm DigXtremeHorse.Trucks!MuscleBig EasyBig EasyBig Easy ›› “On Deadly Ground” (1994) Steven Seagal. › “Exit Wounds” (2001) DMX (S) (SYFY) PaidPaidPaidPaid ›› “Polar Storm” (2009) (CC) › “NYC: Tornado Terror” (2008) “Seattle Superstorm” (2012) ›› “2012: Ice Age” (2011) (CC) ››› “Ice Twisters” (2009) (CC) (TBN) FaithvilleMaraleeBJ’sCharityKids ClbDooleyWonderBugtimeAuto B.HopkinsGod RocGoliathIshineThe HermieCaterpillrTailsHeroes & LegendsNews“Heaven Sent” (2003) Angels (TBS) Name Is Earl Name Is Earl Name Is Earl Name Is Earl According-Jim Yes, Dear (S) (8:55) ›› “The Librarian: Quest for the Spear” (2004, Action) Noah Wyle. (10:55) ››› “The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines” (2006) (CC)
››› “The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice” (2008) Noah Wyle. (CC) King of Queens King of Queens Friends (CC) Friends (CC) Friends (CC) Friends (CC) (TCM) “I TakeWoman” (:45) ››› “First Lady” (1937) Kay Francis. (CC) (:15) ›› “Bullets or Ballots” (1936) (CC) (:45) ›› “One Mysterious Night” (1944) Chester Morris. Perils of Pauline ››› “Ring of Bright Water” (1969) Bill Travers, Virginia McKenna. ››› “McLintock!” (1963, Western) John Wayne, Maureen O’Hara. (CC) (:45) ›››› “A Streetcar Named Desire” (1951) (TLC)
PaidPaidCheck!PaidMoving Up (CC) Moving Up (CC) Moving Up (CC) Moving Up (CC) Say YesSay YesSay YesSay YesSay YesSay YesCrazy About PippaPrince Harry8 Royal Weddings (TNT) (:15) Law & Order(:15) Law & Order(:15) Law & OrderRizzoli & Isles(:15) The Closer(:15) Law & Order(:15) ››› “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” (2003) Elijah Wood. (CC) NBA Basketball (TOON) JohnnyRedakaiBeyPokeBen 10Thundr.LanternJusticeMADLevel UpJohnnyJohnnyNinjaGoNinjaGoGumballGumball“Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” ››› “Shrek” (2001) Eddie Murphy (TRAV) When VacationsMysteries-MuseumConFood Bizarre FoodsFoodMan v Man v Man v FoodFoodBggg Bggg Hunt IntlHunt IntlHunt IntlHunt IntlHunt IntlHunt IntlHotel Impossible (TRUTV) PaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidStingsStingsStingsStingsJokersJokersMost DaringMost DaringMost DaringMost ShockingMost ShockingMost Shocking (TVLAND) (:12) Three’s Company (CC) 3’s Company (:24) The Nanny The Nanny The Nanny The Nanny Happily Divorced Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Extended family in New Orleans. (S) (CC)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Decorated U.S. Marine’s home. (S) (CC)
Murder, She Wrote “Murder in Milan”
Murder, She Wrote “Family Secrets” M*A*S*H (CC) M*A*S*H (CC)
M*A*S*H (CC)
M*A*S*H (CC) (USA) Paid Program Your Shirt Off! Paid Program Paid Program In Plain Sight “Sacrificial Lam”
›› “Miami Vice” (2006) Colin Farrell. Detectives Crockett and Tubbs take on drug lords in South Florida. (CC)
››› “Inside Man” (2006) Denzel Washington. A cop matches wits with a bank robber. (CC)
››› “No Country for Old Men” (2007, Crime Drama) Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem. (CC) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (WGN-A) PaidModos-PaidPaidWalker, RangerWalker, RangerLaw Order: CILaw Order: CILaw Order: CILaw Order: CILaw Order: CILaw Order: CILaw Order: CILaw CIPregame
PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) (5:30) › “Mr. Magoo” (1997) ‘PG’ (:15) ›› “Shrek Forever After” (2010) Voices of Mike Myers. (S) ‘PG’ (CC) Mayweather Mayweather REAL Sports With Bryant Gumbel (S) ››› “Bend It Like Beckham” (2002) Parminder Nagra. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
›› “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” (2010) ›› “Shrek Forever After” (2010) Voices of Mike Myers.
(:45) ›› “Fast Five” (2011) Vin Diesel. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC) (MAX) “Monty Python” ››› “Ice Age” (2002) Voices of Ray Romano. ‘PG’
(7:50) › “Little Fockers” (2010) Robert De Niro. (CC)
›› “A Nightmare on Elm Street” (2010) (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:05) ›› “Air America” (1990, Action) Mel Gibson, Nancy Travis. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
›› “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” (2010) Michael Douglas. (CC) (:15) ›› “Marked for Death” (1990, Action) Steven Seagal. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (4:50) ›› “Dinner for Schmucks” (S) (SHOW) (:15) › “The Back-up Plan” (2010) Jennifer Lopez. (S) ‘PG-13’ (CC)
›› “Ernest Scared Stupid” (1991) Jim Varney. ‘PG’ (CC) (:35) ›› “Letters to Juliet” (2010, Drama) Amanda Seyfried. (S) ‘PG’ (CC) › “A Low Down Dirty Shame” (1994) (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:15) ›› “Square Grouper” (2011, Documentary) ‘R’
››› “The Preacher’s Wife” (1996, Fantasy) Denzel Washington. (S) ‘PG’
(AMC) (4:30) ›› “The Beach” (2000)
›› “Flightplan” (2005, Suspense) Jodie Foster, Peter Sarsgaard. (CC)
›› “The Brave One” (2007) Jodie Foster. A radio host seeks revenge for a brutal attack. (CC)
››› “Speed” (1994) Keanu Reeves. A transit bus is wired to explode if it drops below 50 mph.
›› “Blown Away” (1994) Jeff Bridges. A mad Irish bomber plots revenge on his former pupil. The Rifleman Mad Men Pete and Roger butt heads. (AP) My Cat From HellCats 101 (N) (S) Tanked (N) (S) Tanked (S) Tanked (S) Tanked (S) Cats 101 (S) My Cat From HellTapeTapeTapeTapeFreakFreakExtremeExtreme (BRAVO) Housewives/OCHousewives/NJ ››› “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” ››› “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” (1989) (CC) Kathy MatchmPaidPaidPaidPaidBethenny Ever (CNBC) Money PrincessCostco CrazeSuze Orman ShowPrincessPrincessCostco CrazeSuze Orman ShowPrincessPrincessPaidPaidCostco CrazeSuze Orman ShowSuze Orman ShowOptionsPaid (CNN) CNN NewsroomCNN PresentsPiers MorganCNN NewsroomCNN PresentsPiers MorganCNN NewsroomCNN PresentsPiers MorganCNN NewsroomPiers MorganWk Early Start (COM) “The Goods: Live Hard. Sell Hard.” ›› “Super Troopers” (2001) (CC) ›› “Accepted” (2006) Justin Long. Dave Chappelle: KillinKatt Williams: It’s Pimpin’ChapComedyPaidPaidPaidPaid (DISC) Armored CarSecret ServiceKilling bin LadenSeal Team 6Killing bin LadenSeal Team 6Secret ServiceArmored CarPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidDavid (DISN) JessieJessieAustinJessiePhineasAustinAustinAustinAustinJessieJessieJessieGood Good Good ›› “Genius” (1999) (S) PhineasPhineasPhineasPhineasLittleOcto (E!) The Voice (CC) ›› “Legally Blonde” (2001, Comedy) Kate-WillIce-CocoSoupChelseaFashion PoliceFashion StarChelseaSoupKardasKardasPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid
(ESPN) 2012 NFL Draft (N) NBA Basketball NBA Basketball SportsCenter (N) SportsCenter (N) NBA Basketball SportsCenterSportsCenter (ESPN2) NHRA Drag RacingYear of the Quarterback Year of the Quarterback (CC) Baseball Tonight (N) (Live) (CC) SportsCenter (N) (Live) (CC)
(N) (Live) (CC)
Tonight (N) Baseball Tonight (N) (Live) (CC)
Tonight SportsCenter (N) (CC)
Basketball Playoffs, First Round: Teams TBA. (N Same-day Tape) (CC)
Basketball (EWTN)
PilPaid (NICK) VictoVictoVictoiCarly (S) RockBucket’70s’70sFriendsFriendsFriendsFriends’70s’70sChrisMy WifeMy WifeGeorgeGeorgeNannyNannyTBAGrownPenguin (SPIKE) › “Crank: High Voltage” (2009) (S) ›› “Walking Tall” (2004) The Rock. ›› “Doom” (2005) The Rock. (S) ›› “On Deadly Ground” (1994) Steven Seagal. Ways PaidPaidPaidDefrostPaidPaid (SYFY) “Alien Tornado” (2012) Jeff Fahey. (CC) “Space Twister” (2012) Erica Cerra. “Stonehenge Apocalypse” (2010) “Space Twister” (2012) Erica Cerra. › “Post Impact” (2003) Dean Cain. Total BlackoutDefrostPaid (TBN) Precious MemoriesIn Touch Hour of PowerGraham ClassicNot a Travel › “What Would Jesus Do?”HistoryOak VirtualChristianTriumphantStrangerLindseyGospelHoly Bible (TBS) Seinfeld (CC) Seinfeld (CC) Big BangBig BangBig BangBig Bang ››› “Forrest Gump” (1994) Tom Hanks, Robin Wright. A slowwitted Southerner experiences 30 years of history. (CC)
›› “Journey to the Center of the Earth” (2008) Brendan Fraser. (CC)
›› “Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid” (2004) Johnny Messner. MarriedMarriedHouse of Payne House of Payne (TCM) (4:45) “A Streetcar Named Desire” ›››› “The Third Man” (1949) Orson Welles, Joseph Cotten. (CC)
›››› “Brief Encounter” (1945) Celia Johnson. (CC)
››› “Mutiny on the Bounty” (1962) Marlon Brando. Fletcher Christian and the crew dump Captain Bligh. (CC) (:45) ››› “The Charge of the Light Brigade” (1968) Trevor Howard, Vanessa Redgrave. (CC)
››› “Golden Salamander” (1950, Action) Trevor Howard, Anouk Aimée. (TLC) Royal Wedding: The Encore & MoreWilliam & KateMy Mother DianaRoyal Wedding: The Encore & MoreWilliam & KateMy Mother DianaPaidPaidPaidPaidInsn- PaidPaidPaid (TNT) NBA Basketball ››› “I Am Legend” (2007) (CC)
›› “Resident Evil: Extinction” (2007) › “10,000 B.C.” (2008) Steven Strait. ››› “Rogue” (2007) Radha Mitchell. Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) Law & Order (S) (TOON) ››› “Shrek 2” (2004) Premiere. King/HillChilLoiterFam GuyBoonAqua BleachFullmetalDurararaKekFoolyCowboyBig OGhostBleachFullmetalDurararaInuyashaLooneyLooney (TRAV) Extreme Pig OutsGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresGhost AdventuresPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TRUTV) JokersJokersJokersJokersJokersJokersJokersJokersForensicForensicJokersJokersJokersJokersJokersJokersForensicForensicPaidPaidPaidPaidPaidPaid (TVLAND) Home Improve. Home Improve. Home Improve. Home Improve. Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond Raymond King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens King of Queens Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland Roseanne (S) The Nanny The Nanny 3’s Company 3’s Company Roseanne (S) Roseanne (S) (USA) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Law & Order: Special Victims Unit ›› “The Game Plan” (2007, Comedy) Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Madison Pettis. (CC) Cheers (CC) WWE A.M. Raw (N) (CC) Cheers (CC) Cheers (CC) Paid Program Paid Program Paid Program Paid Program Monk A union dispute goes awry. (WGN-A) MLB Baseball Chicago Cubs at Philadelphia Phillies. (N) News at Nine30 RockScrubsScrubsChrisChrisSunnySunnyDeathDeathMad Ab’t“Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”WorldScudder
PREMIUM CHANNELS
(HBO) (4:45) ›› “Fast Five” (2011) (CC) ›› “Larry Crowne” (2011) Tom Hanks. ‘PG-13’ (CC) Mayweather (:15) Boxing Chad Dawson vs. Bernard Hopkins, Light Heavyweights. (N) (S Live) (CC)
Mayweather Mayweather Game of Thrones “Garden of Bones” (:25) ›› “Larry Crowne” (2011) Tom Hanks. ‘PG-13’ Making Veep (S) (:25) ›› “The Statement” (2003, Suspense) Michael Caine. (S) ‘R’ (CC) “WaterEleph.” (MAX) “DinnerSchm” (:45) ››› “Seven” (1995) Brad Pitt. A killer dispatches his victims via the Seven Deadly Sins. ‘R’
›› “Hesher” (2010, Drama) Natalie Portman. ‘R’ (CC)
(:45) The Girl’s Guide to Depravity (:20) “Sweet Prudence & the Erotic Adventure of Bigfoot” (12:50) › “Hard Rain” (1998) Morgan Freeman. ‘R’ ›› “Hesher” (2010, Drama) Natalie Portman. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:15) ››› “Brazil” (1985, Fantasy) Jonathan Pryce. (S) ‘R’ (CC) (SHOW) (5:15) › “The Backup Plan” (S) Nurse Jackie Nurse Jackie Nurse Jackie The Big C (CC) The Big C (CC) The Big C (CC)
›› “Jackass: The Movie” (2002) Johnny Knoxville. ‘R’ The Borgias (S) (CC) Nurse Jackie The Big C (CC)
›› “The Original Kings of Comedy” (2000) Cedric the Entertainer. ‘R’ (CC)
››› “The Preacher’s Wife” (1996, Fantasy) Denzel Washington. (S) ‘PG’ “I Am Four” (TMC) (5:45) ›› “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (2010) Kristen Stewart. ‘PG-13’
“Alien Raiders” (2008) Carlos Bernard. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
“Dark Fields” (2009, Horror) David Carradine, Richard Lynch. Premiere. ‘R’
›› “Isolation” (2005, Horror) John Lynch. (S) ‘R’ (CC)
(:05) “A Get2Gether” (2005) B. Cole. (S) ‘NR’ (CC)
(:45) ›› “Celebrity” (1998, ComedyDrama) Hank Azaria. ‘R’ (CC) Scenarios USA (:10) ›› “Reckless Disregard”