It’s easy to do many things in Desert Land. Finding your feet and losing your mind are just seven of them. You can rest your drink on the head of a midget but staying cool is a completely different kettle of Amazonian, carnivorous fish. The heat here is unrelenting and unforgiving, just like the girls. Dusty Rhodes tells me not to worry and if I really want to stay cool I should strap on one of his limited edition Desert Land Survival Sacks. Inside I found everything anyone could ever need to stay cool as well as a letter from my old friend Billy. Dusty also suggested an alternative cooling method, and rattled his bottle of special sand pills. I took four and woke up 13
minutes later with my head entombed in snow experiencing a strong smell of carrots. I am now a snowman. The transformation was painless and relatively abrupt, so if you’re ever in Desert Land feeling a little over heated and need a helping hand in the staying cool department, come see me and my sand pills. I’ll be over by the cow shaped cactus milking its spiky teats to the rhythm of the night. See you soon. Snowman aka John A Garner.
Coated Canvas Sleeve by Incase
Stainless steel pocket flask by DRMTM
59Fifty Legionnaire by New Era
SwissTool Spirit by Victorinox
Pampa Hi Lite Boots by Palladium
Little America Backpack by Herschel Supply
Desert Socks by Happy Socks
Special edition by Super Sunglasses
Flashlight by Mag-Lite
Spud Webb Jersey by Pony