Brunch 13 07 2014 by Hindustan Times

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Gautam Gambhir, Indian cricketâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original action hero, bares his heart on the IPL victory, his Test comeback, fatherhood and anger management!

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

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Brunch Opinion

by Aasheesh Sharma

The evolution of Gautam Gambhir is a story that takes me back to my days as a rookie writer. Gauti, the boy who kept a bat in the boot of his Maruti, liked to shoot straight. His intensity caught your attention even when he hadn’t yet played for India. An alpha male in the making, he held forth on why John Rambo movies and Bhagat Singh inspired him. In the first cover story

Stuff You Said Last Sunday nderCover story is wo a is ful! Vidya Balan tance woman of subs stic in the era of pla ation! clones. An inspir an – @ManasviMad

na Kudos to Apar e r th Jayakumar fo shot of r stunning Cove Vidya Balan! it – @Ajaythetw

where Brunch featured Gambhir in his avatar as the triumphant KKR skipper in 2012, his unfettered approach to life and leadership was palpable. From the heady days of the 2011 World Cup win to his IPL exploits, one running theme in Gauti’s story has been his humility. He may go over the top to hit spinners out of the park, but his middle-class values have kept Gambhir grounded, unlike cricketers who lose their head once they attain 15 minutes of fame. Great to see you back in the Indian eleven, Gauti, you belong here.

Our cover story in Mumbai this week is a list of Our Favourite 140 Characters on Twitter – busybodies with great lives and nobodies with great lines – all the people we can’t resist following. Read it on hindustantimes.com/Brunch

We follow everybody worth following on Twitter. Here’s what we learned from trawling through miles and miles of timelines. Warning: it’s not all pretty

You can be famous and do nothing @superstarrajini with 6,76,000 followers, has posted only 7 tweets, all of which seem manufactured by a PR company India still cannot tell parody from the real thing, thank God!

One FIFA goal equals 63,85,99,236 tweets on any timeline Because, how else will you know what happened? And to find out who reacted first on Twitter, you don’t even need an action replay Celebrities are just like us, even down to the mundane details

Why else would so many bhakti, sanskriti types enthusiastically retweet the hilarious @KhapPanchayat?

@TheFarahKhan yearned for Juhu when she was stuck en route to Bhandup @PriyankaChopra loves bad jokes too: What did Jay Z call his girlfriend when they got engaged? His fèyonce!

There’s less self-righteous outrage on the site than we imagined Note to self: stop following so many news people!

On The Brunch Radar

LOVE IT

Yashwant Sinha cussing. Jiya Tu Bihar Ke Lala moment? n D Se Dance from Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania because “Crazy hum bhi ho lenge” n All proposal videos with Bruno Mars’ Marry Me n BuzzFeed’s India Needs Feminism Because photo series n Salman and Shah Rukh hugging. Every single time. n

Front Row

by Saudamini Jain

SHOVE IT

by Indra Shekhar Singh

At the National Film Festival 2014 in Delhi, they played sagas of love, sacrifice, struggle and jest. There’s some flavour for every tongue. What is a magazine intern doing

EDITORIAL: Poonam Saxena (Editor), Aasheesh Sharma, Rachel Lopez, Tavishi Paitandy Rastogi, Veenu Singh, Yashica Dutt, Amrah Ashraf, Satarupa Paul, Saudamini Jain, Asad Ali, Atisha Jain

JULY 13, 2014

here? Watching films? Of course, not! I was watching the audience. And while we hate stereotyping, every single person here fell under one of these categories:

The women usually work in pairs, the men go solo. Trailing these guys were The Publicists: trying to make ‘contacts’and promoting this new “very young, but so talented” filmmaker on the scene. The Bengali Culture Vultures: Thou DESIGN: Ashutosh Sapru (National Editor, Design), Monica Gupta, Swati Chakrabarti, Payal Dighe Karkhanis, Ajay Aggarwal

Ab Tak Aapne Dekha by Asad Ali

Priyanka Chopra’s Ask Me Anything on Reddit. Oh, burn? n The torture that Raju, the elephant, went through for 50 years before he was rescued. n That Jugal Hansraj didn’t make it in Bollywood. Congratulations on the wedding, though! n Filing your taxes. n The realisation that it’s been a stupidity-free week: there aren’t too many things to shove! n

The Kinds Of People You’ll See At A Film Festival

The Rainbow Boy and Junkie Girl: He’s in orange pants, a black V-neck T-shirt and loafers. She’s in Puskhar Thanks to @ HTBrunch pyjamas, a distressed T-shirt and for bringing my ﬁrst love #Novels ba dishevelled hair. They are an observant ck in my life. .! metrosexual-man- hippie-woman @Mysteerryy__lilibbrraa couple. TThey LOVED Miss Lovely. The conce Th They’re here on weekdays because working is pt of coFind co they’re totally devoted to culture. for introd ol. Thanks the Hindustan ucing pla The Senior Citizens: Retirement in Times Brunch meant for free ces Th lancers Delhi seems like lik fun. I saw so many on Facebook #helpful – @manju ha happy-looking elderly people, flocking or tweet to lika5 @HTBrunch lik children. from film to film almost like Th They were looking for masala, comedy and a good time. “Maza nahi aya,” they Makhni Unplugged grumbled after watching films with There’s a glitch in the Matrix serious or sad endings. and it’s got hold of Rajiv The Media Types: Kurta-clad Makhni. Sorry fans, no journalists trying to cover the event. Techilicious this week. He’ll be And many who’re not covering it. back next Sunday, rebooted. I found three from my office here.

Cover design: MONICA GUPTA Cover image: RAJ K RAJ

by Rachel Lopez

Behavioural Patterns Of People On Twitter

GROUND HERO: GAUTI’S TALE

23 months ago. Gambhir was on our cover Hello, again! ise. prec be to 2, 10 June, 201

Rules Of The Game

shalt drop these names: Rituparno Ghosh, Bimal da, Ritwik Ghatak and Satyajit Ray. And you have to make sure everybody notices that you’re the intellectual from the Motherland. The Singles Bag: Big bunches of single men who judge the portrayal of women in every film very carefully. They’re here to check out women. The Hot Girl and her AverageLooking Friend: The hot girl always has a reticent friend who dutifully tags along. They’re quiet mostly, but in the presence of a journalist’s voice recorder, they get all intellectual. That ’70s Feminist: That stronglooking woman huddling with others like herself and talking of liberation. They all know the filmmakers (obviously!). It’s a small world. And everybody wants a feminist around.

Drop us a line at: brunchletters@hindustantimes. com or to 18-20 Kasturba Gandhi Marg, New Delhi 110001

An Ode To Orkut

This is old news now but it still hurts. Here lies the space where guys got the pehla nasha of stalking girls online for the very first time (and sometimes, even vice versa). They joined arbit ‘communities’ in the hopes of meeting potential soulmates (or anyone amenable just to the idea of mating). It is where Fraandship was born, and where people became ‘fans’ of each other. Google plans to kill it by September, apparently because not too many give a (s)crap about Orkut. It was 10 years old. Many of its users propogated the Rakhi Sawant school of thought. Many were aspiring Charlie Sheen bots who propounded love philosophies (although, grammatically-challenged). It was kind to all. It allowed users to choose “Not on the list” as their best physical feature. Such was Orkut. Simple and remarkably ahead of its time. Profundity on steroids. Okthxbye. Photos: SHUTTERSTOCK, THINKSTOCK

Watch out for the 20’s Forever series in Brunch over the coming weeks – Your key to tight & bright skin

FOR ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES, PLEASE CONTACT National — Sanchita Tyagi: sanchita.tyagi@hindustantimes.com North — Siddarth Chopra: siddarth.chopra@hindustantimes.com West — Karishma Makhija: karishma.makhija@hindustantimes.com South — Sharbani Ghosh: sharbani.ghosh@hindustantimes.com

COVER STORY

autam He’s back. G cricket’s n ia d In , ir h b G am ero, on h n io t c a t s r fi meback o c is h , d o o fatherh team, n ia d In e h t into and his h p m iu r t L the IP erament p m e t e il t la o v Sharma by Aasheesh j K Raj Photo by Ra

JULY 13, 2014

twitter.com/HTBrunch n the 1950s, when American football coach Henry Russell Sanders spurred his team with the words: “Winning isn’t everything…it’s the only thing,” he couldn’t have realised the mantra would have such tremendous resonance down the decades as to appear on the social media timeline of a feisty Delhi cricketer who would tweet: “Want India to win @ all costs, with or without me.” Now that Gautam Gambhir is back in the reckoning in the Test team against England, Dhoni and the team management could do well to utilise his unbridled passion for vanquishing his rivals, whatever it takes. Fresh from leading Kolkata Knight Riders to victory in this year’s Indian Premier League, Gambhir appears to be in a happy space. Clearly, the last few weeks have been some of the most pleasant for Gambhir in a long time. He is touring England with the side after being out in the cold for two years, has become proud father to a two-month old and after a disastrous start to the tournament, helmed KKR to an incredible IPL triumph. “But the most important thing is having the little one,” he says with a smile that lights up the room. “That is far beyond any other happiness, of winning the IPL or getting back into the team.” The most impressive story, of course, has been the IPL turnaround. “After the first seven games, not many people would have given us a chance of reaching the final, leave alone winning. But we won nine games on a trot. So, we proved wrong all those who kept invoking the law of averages. I think the law is overrated anyway,” says Gambhir. He might revel in challenging the averages, but Gambhir did give the Knight Riders a few nightmares in the initial days of the tournament. He got out for a duck in his first three innings. How did he slay the demons in his mind and bounce back to hit three fifties thereafter? “I would be lying if I said there were no doubts. Anyone would have those self-doubts when you haven’t scored a run in the first three games, particularly when you are the leader of the side. But I knew it was a long tournament and if I got one good score under my belt, I could take it on from there.” When the chips are down, a lot of psycho-babble tends to cloud an athlete’s mind. How does the

captain of an international side in a ruthless format like the IPL keep the negative thoughts at bay? “It isn’t easy, I am not superhuman. There were times, particularly when I had scored three ducks, when I was thinking whether I was contributing enough to be part of the playing eleven? A leader has to be selfless. You cannot be trying to shield yourself. To motivate others, the captain has to be the first one coming out of his comfort zone.”

Reclining on a couch in his tastefully appointed living room with a pastel colour scheme, there’s a Zen-like serenity in the manner in which the highest run-getter in the 2011 World Cup final, puts his life and times in perspective. Off the field, Gauti, as friends call him, may come across as soft-spoken, almost genial. But put him in cricket whites and in a gambhir situation and the boy from Rajinder Nagar turns into a fire-spewing streetfighter who isn’t loathe to barging into Pakistan’s Shahid Afridi, or ‘accidentally’ shoving his elbow into Shane Watson, if the Aussie deigns to cramp his style. Not for Gambhir the aphorisms about nice guys finishing last. “People say just give your 100 per cent and the results don’t matter. To me results do matter. I play to win a game of cricket. Otherwise, there is no point playing. One thing that keeps my passion for sports simmering is trying to win each and every game when I walk

onto the cricket field,” he says. For Gambhir, the obsession with winning doesn’t diminish irrespective of the platform on which he is performing: “Whether I am batting for ONGC or KKR, Delhi or India, my job is to go out there and score. If I come back with runs under my belt, I’d be a far more satisfied man rather than thinking why am I not playing for India? If you think about platforms, you put additional pressure on yourself,” says the 32-year-old opening batsman from Delhi.

In October 2008, during the Delhi Test, in the middle of a sublime run of form where he was topping the batting charts, Gambhir was banned for a Test match following a confrontation with Watson. Television visuals showed Watson clenching a fist at Gambhir as he completed his first run. On the way back to the crease, Gambhir ostensibly ‘nudged’ an elbow into Watson’s chest. He went on to score a double hundred that hurt the Australians even more. Come to think of it, he appears to effortlessly get under the skin of the Australians with his gamesmanship and abrasive attitude which is so typically, ahem, Oz-like! Is that why cricketers

from Down Under reserve the best of their sledging for Gambhir? “Personally, that’s fine. These incidents make cricket enjoyable. If someone gets tough or tries to bully me, it brings out the best in me. Sledging is part and parcel of the game. Off the field, as soon as the game finishes, you can still be best mates. Watson is a fantastic human being. I’ve had some big exchanges of words with him. But as soon as the game is over, I’ve been the first one to congratulate him if he has done well.” Well, okay! So, how did Gambhir respond to detractors who advised that he go in for anger management sessions after his mid-pitch brawl with Afridi in 2007? After all, the video of the clash, where both the Pathan and the Punjabi unleashed a volley of colourful cuss words that would make Virat Kohli cower for cover, went viral on YouTube. “I believe in anger management, as long as it does not affect my passion for winning,” announces Gambhir. “In a sport like cricket, there is no place for personal rivalry. I don’t have any personal grudges against Afridi or any other cricketer I’ve had an exchange of words with. Afridi’s passion to win a game for his country and my passion to win a game for my country could be equal. And sometimes they collide. If being passionate about winning involves being aggressive, so be it.”

As an IPL team, Kolkata Knight Riders has been a firm proponent of continuity, says Gambhir. “We’ve never chopped and changed. In a new team, we gave people like Manish Pandey and Suryakumar Yadav 16 games on the trot. We encouraged them to express themselves and in return they chipped in with some match-winning contributions.” In this year’s IPL, for instance, the X-factor came with the belligerent 22-ball 72 that Yusuf Pathan hit against Sunrisers Hyderabad. “Chasing 180 in 15.3 overs, with the kind of attack that Sunrisers had, gave us the belief that from thereon, we could chase anything down. We took that same belief into the final,” he adds.

JULY 13, 2014

COVER STORY

At times, says Gambhir, he feels he shouldn’t have been a cricketer but a soldier. Nothing fascinates him more in life than men in uniform. “It is my first love. If I wouldn’t have been a cricketer, I would have gone into the army. I feel the only real heroes in India are soldiers in the armed forces and paramilitary personnel deployed in conflict areas. It’s high time they got their due. I respect them from the heart and would love to contribute to their well-being.” To take this thought forward and as a tribute to his grandmother who passed away last year, Gambhir has launched Ek Asha, an NGO that will work with widows and families of paramilitary personnel.

Somebody as passionate and patriotic as Gambhir wants to be in the thick of action. What was going through his mind when he wasn’t in the team for two years? Indian cricket’s most celebrated comeback kid since Mohinder Amarnath appears to have developed a coping mechanism of his own. “It is very difficult for an individual who gets dropped for the first time to accept that fact. I have never believed in looking for sympathy or thinking that someone has done anything wrong to me. The bottomline is that I’ve been dropped and I still have a bat in my hand. I still have a lot of hunger and lots of determination. So, I should go out there and keep scoring runs.” For as far as he can remem-

Gambhir says he is much more relaxed off the ﬁeld but in a contest, he puts on his ‘game-face’ where no quarters are given, none asked for. Here’s what the opening batsman is most passionate about

twitter.com/HTBrunch

ber says Gambhir, he has never been a good loser. But if there’s one emotion as a player that he resents more than even losing: it is helplessness as a captain. “When you feel everything that you have worked towards is not working out, it is the worst feeling one can have on the cricket field. I am not a good loser, but I hate helplessness even more,” says Gambhir. Since the time his daughter Aazeen was born, Gambhir has had another outburst on national television, when he was given out against Sunrisers Hyderabad in a must-win match in the IPL. He was docked 15 per cent of his match fee for dissent. The incident happened when Gambhir was trying to claw back to good form after hitting three fifties following the disastrous start. “Chasing 150 in a mustwin game, when you get a decision like that, it hurts! If we would have been in the top two, I would have

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never reacted that way.” After the match, Gambhir tweeted that now that he had a little one watching at home, he would watch his words. Has the arrival of Aazeen made Indian cricket’s angry not-so-young-man any mellower? Don’t bet on it? “I don’t think it has. My daughter has not calmed me down on the cricket field. My hunger and passion to win are still the same.” But matrimony and fatherhood have sure lent a semblance of balance to his emotions, says Gambhir. All his angst against the vagaries of cricket vanishes the moment he sees his little angel, he says. “The kind of intensity I have on the cricket field, sometimes when I come back, the way the child reacts to me, it makes me peaceful and happy. Also, children and family help keep

most non-interfering bosses in Shah Rukh. SRK gave me a free hand at IPL auctions to pick up yer any international pla nt I like. I am glad we we , ove (ab ine Nar il Sun in for . But ies Ind st We the of right) way his I still can’t guess the when mystery ball will move, he bowls in the nets. One of my dogs passed . Now, away, which was sad with I love spending time gifted by Tyson, a Bull Mastiff Buddy, Virender Sehwag and or rad Lab a

your sanity off the field. You can’t maintain the same intensity all the time. Having Aazeen has been the best feeling ever. Nothing can actually come close to it: no other personal achievement is as special.” Eleven years after earning his international cap, Indian cricket’s Albert Pinto appears to be at peace with the world. Part of this newfound calm seems to be a function of the IPL success and the affection he has received in Kolkata. His island of tranquillity when he visits the city is the ITC Sonar hotel and he is looking forward to the day young Aazeen can travel with him and feed the fish in the hotel with him. “Every time I stay there, I get a lot of peace and happiness. The quantum of love I have got in Kolkata is unbelievable. The first time I got picked a lot of people said the fans would not accept me since Sourav had not been retained. But the love I’ve got from the fans in the last four years has been incredible. Our fans have stuck with us in good and bad times. Which is why, I was so upset with the lathi charge. Either the organisers should accommodate all those fans who want to see us, or they should not have these felicitations at all.” Just when you think you’ve broken through Gambhir’s defences and are treading on the lighter side, the (in)famous dark temper strikes back! aasheesh.sharma@hindustantimes.com Follow @aasheesh74 on Twitter

MORE ON THE WEB For an exclusive video of Gambhir, log on to hindustantimes.com/ brunch

MONSOON SPECIAL

Run Into I The Rain Abandon your city and its overwhelmed sewers this season. Go where you’ll fall in love with the monsoon again by Atisha Jain

Sindhudurg, Maharashtra

N SOME countries, rain makes people depressed. But the monsoon in India is a harbinger of hope, balm to the sun-baked land, and a reason to smile for millions of people whose lives hinge on the rain gods. And, of course, the monsoon has played muse to some of the country’s finest poets, apart from being the perfect time to conceive babies. (Well, what else can you do, really, when you are stuck indoors because the sky has turned into a waterfall?). In other words, the monsoon is all about hopes fulfilled and romance. But let’s face it. As many of us know, there is nothing romantic about rain in most Indian cities. Every year, the monsoon is a story of blocked sewers, flooded roads and insane

traffic jams. So what is the best way to bring a bit of that romance back into your life? We suggest that you take off to a monsoon destination. No, not to the much-vaunted powder beaches of Goa and the celebrated backwaters of Kerala, which will be filled with tourists. We take you, instead to other places in this gorgeous, amazing country, not so well known, that will make you fall in love with the romance of the rain all over again; places tucked away in the remote corners of the country. We got a panel of four travel bloggers and photographers to show you the way. Get drenched in the showers of wanderlust, what are you waiting for?

Photo: LAKSHMI SHARATH

ndoubtedly one of Rajasthan’s best kept secrets, the Phalodi district has salt lakes, sand dunes and several tribal villages. One of the villages connects to the Indira Gandhi canal, and flourishes with greenery all year round. But to watch the rains paint the golden dunes with traces of green, or play with reflections of a cloudy sunset on the salt lakes, is something else. - recommended by Shivya Nath

ove over Goa. Sindhudurg is taking over. Forts that dot the Konkan coastline stand testimony to vibrant Marathi history, like the Sindhudurg Fort, Shivaji’s cenotaph which is an example of Marathi maritime supremacy. The cashew and mango orchards, virgin beaches, palaces and citadels – Sindhudurg is at its best in the monsoon. – recommended by Lakshmi Sharath GET THERE: Take the Hazrat Nizamuddin–Trivandrum Central Rajdhani Express from Delhi, get off at Sawantwadi station from where it’s a two-hour drive to Sindhudurg.

GET THERE: Take the overnight Mandor Express from Delhi to Jodhpur and get off at Phalodi junction. From there, Bhap village is a one-hour drive.

Chakrata, Uttarakhand n laidback Chakrata, the mist and clouds play hide and seek almost all day long during the monsoons. Abundant in bird life and peacefully free of tourists, Chakrata is all about beauty and tranquillity. - recommended by Vishal Sabharwal

GET THERE: Take the road from Ghaziabad via Baghpat, Shamli, Saharanpur and Vikasnagar. Chakrata is around 60 km from Vikasnagar via Kalsi and Sahiya.

Valparai, Tamil Nadu

illed with tropical evergreen rainforests and tea plantations, Valparai, tucked away in the Annamalai Range in Tamil Nadu, is a hidden paradise. It rains and how! Delightful waterfalls cascade down from nooks and crannies of the forest, orchids and ferns thrive and the habitat is home to endangered lion-tailed macaques, Nilgiri tahrs, the great Indian hornbill and flying squirrels, among other creatures. - recommended by Lakshmi Sharath

opular for its National Park, Binsar is home to hundreds of species of Himalayan birds and offers breathtaking views of the mountains. Offering a panoramic view of the Himalayan peaks, Binsar is just the place to go trekking in the rain. - recommended by Vishal Sabharwal GET THERE: Take NH 24 from Delhi and Major District Road 65W to UP. Take the NainitalBhowali road and drive on the Almora-Bageshwar Road for the 400 km, seven-hour journey.

GET THERE: Take the Kerala Express from New Delhi Railway Station, Delhi, get off at Coimbatore station from where Valparai is a two-hour drive.

Photo: LAKSHMI SHARATH

JULY 13, 2014

Binsar, Uttarakhand

Photo: SHIVYA NATH

Photo courtesy: VISHALSABHARWAL.COM

Phalodi, Rajasthan

MONSOON SPECIAL

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Mawsynram, Meghalaya

h wettest place on Earth is? If you answered Cherrapunjee, you were wrong. Mawsynram now has that honour, says the Guinness Book of World Records. Explore caves and beautiful waterfalls around

the town. The winding roads nestled in lush greenery provide glimpses of Bangladesh from time to time. And get a slice of the fascinating Khasi lifestyle. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll like it, we promise. - recommended by Vishal Sabharwal Photo: RAJ K RAJ

GET THERE: Take the Dibrugarh Rajdhani train from Delhi and get off at Guwahati. Cherrapunjee and Mawsynram are both a three-hour drive from there. Photo: GETTY IMAGES

Photo: SHIVYA NATH

Gokarna, Karnataka

GET THERE: Take a BDTS Garib Rath train from Delhi Hazrat Nizamuddin to Mumbai Borivali, then the Matsyagandha Express from Panvel Junction to Gokarna Road.

GET THERE: Take the Shatabdi Express from Delhi to Kathgodam, from where Dhanachuli is a threehour drive.

okarna is a small temple town with some beautiful beaches and old village life. You can rent a shack on the beach or a room in the village. The rooms have colourful walls with many paintings. There is a white sand beach called Nirvana which is around three kilometre from Gokarna. Other beautiful beaches are Kudle beach and Om beach. - recommended by Abhishek Bali

OUR PANEL

Dhanachuli, Uttarakhand

Lakshmi Sharath is a media professional, travel writer and a photographer. She blogs on A Travel Blog of an Indian Backpacker Shivya Nath, a travel writer and a social media consultant, writes about her travels in her blog, The Shooting Star

picturesque village in the Kumaon region of Uttarakhand, Dhanachuli is where I first fell in love with the monsoon in the lower Himalayas. Strolling along the winding roads, I watched the locals sit atop the roof of their stone houses, soak in majestic Himalayan sunsets, then gather in their apple orchards as the rain trickled down, sweetening the fruits of the season. - recommended by Shivya Nath

Vishal Sabharwal is best known for his nature/wildlife, portrait and travel photography. Check out his blog vishalsabharwal.com Abhishek Bali is a Delhi-based portrait and documentary photographer. Visit his photography blog, baliabhishek. com

atisha.jain@hindustantimes.com, Follow @JainAtisha on Twitter

JULY 13, 2014

MONSOON SPECIAL

Damp-Proof Your Personal Style A

H, THE monsoon. It brings the joy of rain – and sudden, mischievous downpours that leave you soaked to the skin in your cotton shirts and tops. It begins with the sweet smell of wet earth – and ends with muddy splashes on your white linen trousers. It has you luxuriating in the romance of grey clouds

and cool breezes – and leaves you slithering, skidding and falling on slippery floors, thanks to your cherished stilettos. Yes, the monsoon. The season we love, which our wardrobes hate! The affair between the monsoon and fashion has always been bitter-sweet. The rain brings with it a sense of confusion, panic and

Just Crop It T

he sexy, midriff-baring crop top first appeared in the West in the 1980s and went mainstream over the next decade when pop stars like Madonna, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, the Spice Girls and others wore it. Over the last couple of seasons, the crop top had been stealthily making a comeback on the ramps, but this Spring/Summer the trend has resurfaced with a bang! They are everywhere now; short, fitted tank tops paired with high-waisted trousers and shorts, belly shirts teasingly grazing the navel above low-slung fitted jeans, cropped kurtis over flowing skirts for a desi look, and loose crop tops worn over a fitted camisole for those who wish to reveal less. “Crop tops can easily be transitioned into hip monsoon wear by pairing them with rain-friendly silhouettes like culottes, skirts and shorts,” says Anita Dongre, fashion designer and owner of the brands Global Desi and AND. “The trend for the season is to wear matching sets – you can go monotone and pair your single-coloured crop top with either a skirt or cropped pants of the same colour. Alternatively, you can go for bright prints with a matching skirt or shorts and add a blazer for a formal appeal.”

You don’t need to look purely utilitarian (read unexciting) this season in case you get wet. Here’s how to make a splash with your wardrobe by Satarupa Paul

dread in our daily chore of dressing. Jeans are hastily rolled up. A shapeless windcheater is pulled on over a summer dress or a formal suit. And boring rubber floaters are worn out of a grudging necessity. Even in the highest levels of world fashion, trends for the wet season seem not to exist. Spring/ Summer and Autumn/Winter are

the safer seasons to design for. But don’t let the monsoon drown your personal style. The trick is to identify the right outfit that can transition from summer wear to monsoon wear with ease. And this year it’s easy, thanks to these summer trends that can easily be carried forward into the monsoon.

Short & Sweet S kirts and shorts are ersatile perhaps the most versatile garments of the season y time, as they can be worn any ormal come sun or rain. For a formal hoose a solid hue and in look, choose materials like gabardine,, crepe esist silk or denim, which can resist ter. splashes of mud and water. “For casual occasions, or vibrant printed skirts go for and shorts in fabrics with quick drying properties,, like georgette. Fabrics such as knit should be avoided as e a long time to dry,” they take says Dongre. Men can play the short and sweet card too with three-quarter pants, capris, cropped trousers and shorts. Rahul Khanna of the designer duo Rohit Gandhi +Rahul Khanna says, “A cool look for men this season is ankle-length bright coloured chinos or full-length ch olled chinos rolled a the up at ankles ankles, paired with paired lighter colour coloured shirts. linen shirts. You can throw You waistcoa on a waistcoat w for or a as well formal look.” formal

MONSOON SPECIAL

Bright & Beautiful

he monsoon means gloomy, grey days, so the best way to offset the dark mood is to wear bright colours. While the heat in the summer forces us to stick to whites and light pastels, the arrival of the rain gives us the liberty to play with vibrant hues.

“We have done a monsoon collection of silk-georgette trapeze dresses in bright neon colours like yellow, orange and fuschia. The silhouettes are loose so they can breathe freely after rain when the humidity rises uncomfortably,” sa Rahul Khanna. says Men who are not particularly ad adventurous with colours can stic to the basics, but throw in a stick fe bright hues. “To add a little few inter interest to an otherwise basic palette wear a hint of the colour palette, primary colours of blue, green or re as a belt or a pair of coloured red slippers says fashion designer slippers,” Va Varun Bahl. Adds designer Anju pr Modi, “Most men prefer solids, bu incorporating textures and but lik variations in subtle prints like ch checks and ombre (shaded or gr graduated) colours add character c to the clothes.”

TWO MONSOON LOOKS by Pernia Qureshi, fashion stylist

FOR MEN Blue and white wire print shirt with shorts in the same print by Dev R Nil. Pair it with sandals by Rajesh Pratap Singh for a quirky yet relaxed look.

■ Dev

R Nil: Blue and white wire print shirt. `3,800 R Nil: Blue and white wire print shorts. `3,000 ■ Rajesh Pratap Singh: Brown gladiator multistrap leather sandals. `4,850

■ Dev

FOR WOMEN Folded trousers are great as monsoon wear for girls. I am in love with this cute pair of mint green printed cuffed-hem trousers from Mayﬂy by Munkee.See.Munkee.Doo. You can wear them with a blue gingham rosette top by Frou Frou and beige sandals by Saint G. ■ FrouFrou: Blue gingham rosette top. `7,800 ■ Mayﬂy by Munkee.See.Munkee.Doo: Mint green

printed cuffed-hem trousers. `4,500 Saint G: Natural multicolour embroidered sandal. `3,900 ■

JULY 13, 2014

FOOTWEAR AND ACCESSORIES FOR MEN ■ Loafers and slippers can be worn with shorts and shirts, rolled up chinos, and even kurta-pyjamas. “Be sure to get a pedicure before discarding your shoes for the monsoon,” advises fashion designer Varun Bahl. ■ “A hat is so stylish and can easily go from a sunny day to a rainy one,” says Rahul Khanna of the designer duo Rohit Gandhi + Rahul Khanna. ■ Bold, big dial, waterproof watches. According to Designer Anju Modi, “They are an absolute essential for men this monsoon.” FOR WOMEN ■ Flip ﬂops and rubber wellies. Flip ﬂops add a casual, sporty feel to your attire and are water-friendly. “Rain footwear like red or purple rubber wellies are my favourite monsoon accessory,” says designer Anita Dongre. ■ A trendy umbrella to keep the rain away and a bright stole for those cool evenings.

Lost in a Trench A

homas Burberry, the round 1901, Thomas founder of one of the oldest apld, invented parel brands in the world, ther textile made gabardine, an all weather n. Burberry was from waterproofed yarn. lothe the thereafter commissioned to clothe ope’s British troops fighting in Europe’s ar I and trenches during World War t. Over thus was born the trench coat. om the years, it has been elevated from a wartime necessity to a fashion om statement,worn by style icons from ton, Audrey Hepburn to Mischa Barton, Liv Tyler and others. Burberry brought its iconic trench coats to India when it opened its stores here. One of its ts with line of casual trench coats rolled up sleeves and with or without hoods is a monsoon wardrobe essential. Shweta y writer with a Mukherjee, a copy m Gurgaon-based advertising firm says, “A trench coat is the best thing you can invest in for the monsoon. You can throw it overr le or a dress or a formal ensemble even over crop tops and shorts. And there’s no fear of getting wet anymore. In fact, you can step out to enjoy the rain, and still look chic!”

satarupa.paul@ hindustantimes.com Follow @satarupapaul on Twitter

MONSOON SPECIAL

It’s Pouring. Pass The Grub Something about the monsoon makes us hungry and self-indulgent. Why fight it? Just dig into the perfect snacks and chai

by Atisha Jain

HE SKY is grey with fluffy cotton-like clouds. Somewhere, far away, thunder rumbles and a familiar earthy smell fills the air. Think of the monsoon and the first thing that your mind (and tummy) yearns for is that steaming cup of chai and crispy, golden brown triangles of samosas with good old piping hot, aloo masala-filling. Oh wait! Spicy, deep fried, vegetable pakodas with fresh green mint chutney are not a bad idea either. Or maybe thin, gooey, sugar-soaked jalebis with cream? Heaven! Something about wind and rain and grey skies makes us hungry. Not just hungry, but self-indulgent. Deep-fried, sicklysweet guilt just doesn’t get a look in. So why stop at just plain old chai and samosas? Check out these snacks and different kinds of tea, and go all the way.

Keema Pav

Kashika, a 25-year-old banker describes the Tibetan Yak Butter tea the best. “It’s like drinking melted butter in hot milk. The butter complements the rich creamy ﬂavour of the milk, which is perfect for that nip in the air during the monsoon. And since you don’t add sugar to it, you don’t have to feel guilty about the calories.” But don’t drink too much of it, warns Dr Lovneet Batra, clinical nutritionist, Fortis la Femme. “Frequent consumption of salt and butter in your beverage may lead to high blood pressure and increased risk of heart disease,” she says.

Photo: CHAAYOS

Maggi Sandwich

e’ve grown up eating sliced tomato, onion, cucumber sandwiches, layered with chutney or cheese. But this one comes with a twist. Can you imagine our good old Maggi between slices of bread toasted golden brown with lots of butter? Nothing like it! “One day, my roommate and I ran out of our ‘food-bank’ except

GET HIGH ON CHAI TIBETAN YAK BUTTER PU-ERH Ladakh

Vada Pav

t is impossible to miss the keema pav stalls on the busy streets of Mumbai. The spicy flavours of minced mutton with onions, garlic and ginger are complemented with warm, plain, buttered pav. “I would call this the perfect starter to a full-fledged, lavish non-vegetarian meal,” says Saif Rasul Khan, a Mumbai-based law student.

for a packet of Maggi, and two slices of bread. Scarcity is the mother of invention, and that’s when we thought of having a Maggi sandwich. We cooked the Maggi, placed it between the slices, and CHOMP CHOMP! A delicious meal!” says Rikhiya Banerjee, a student at the Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai.

Photo courtesy: SAVOUR MUMBAI BY VIKAS KHANNA

Photo: CHA BAR

KAHWA - Kashmir The Kashmiri kahwa is a spiced form of green tea without milk. “Spices such as saffron, cardamom, and cloves are added to lend the kahwa its aroma and flavour,” says Nitin Warikoo, a tea connoisseur and head of sales and marketing at Cha Bar and the Oxford Bookstore in New Delhi. Traditionally served in cups, along with nuts and honey, apart from its warming effect, the Kashmiri kahwa is also known to improve concentration, relieve headaches and fight stress, says Dr Batra. Swati Agarwal, a postgraduate student at DU says, “The strong flavour and the not-so-sweet taste give you a perfect wake-up kick.”

JULY 13, 2014

Photo: CHAAYOS

was on my bike riding back home after a late shift, when it started raining. I was a good half-an-hour away from home, and there it was – a food stall. Watching the pouring rain, sipping the hot, steaming chai, and munching hot vada pav with spicy red chutney – that’s bliss!” recalls Samrat Sarkar, an IT professional based in Mysore. The Indian version of the burger, vada pav, is a staple on the busy streets of Mumbai. Tucked between small, warm loaves of bread are spicy round potato vadas with a sprinkle of red chilli powder. Best eaten with a spicy dry-chilli chutney.

KANGRA TEA – Himachal Pradesh

PAANI-KUM CHAI Mumbai

GUR-WALI CHAI Punjab

A distinctive goldencoloured brew with a sweet undertone, originating from the Kangra valley in Himachal, “Kangra tea is a green tea mixed with a lot of herbs and spices,” says Raghav Verma of tea chain Chaayos. Apart from its aroma, Kangra chai is high in antioxidants, beneﬁcial in lowering blood cholesterol and has anti-carcinogenic (cancer ﬁghting) effect, says Dr Lovneet Batra.

The Irani paani-kum chai is prepared by boiling tea leaves in water and milk separately, later pouring them together. “It is a rather milky chai with very little water. Best enjoyed with bun maska,” says Raghav Verma of Chaayos. However, says Dr Batra, it’s best to drink your tea with more water than milk. “The caseins, proteins found in milk, form complexes with the tea catechins and may lower its health beneﬁts,” she says.

Hailing from the pinds of Punjab, this is prepared with jaggery instead of sugar, making it a healthier alternative to tea with sugar. It is the perfect option to stave off the chill of the monsoon. “Not only is gur a source of iron, it aids digestion and acts as a cleansing agent,” says Dr Batra. “However, do not overdo it. Have 10-12 gms of gur a day for optimum beneﬁts.”

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Bun Maska

e might have tried everything at the fanciest of restaurants, had exotic cuisines at plush hotels, but nothing can beat that comforting bite into good old bun maska, oozing with butter, while

Photo: CHAAYOS

Masala Milk

Photo courtesy: SAVOUR MUMBAI BY VIKAS KHANNA

Tawa Aloo

sipping chai. “It’s probably the easiest and best meal I can make and have at short notice in the monsoon. Midnight hunger pangs call for bun maska and chai at any food stall,” says Parul Kandoi, 24, a student at the Faculty of Law, Delhi University. But know what? You can actually make the bun maska experience better. Squeeze a layer of bhujiya into the bun to taste its crispiness. Raghav Verma, co-founder of Chaayos, the Delhibased chai café chain, says, “It goes best with Irani paani-kum chai and is a huge hit at Chaayos.”

o you retch at the sight of milk? Maybe you haven’t tried the aromatic, saffron-coloured, full-offlavour masala milk. Loaded with dry fruits and exotic spices, this drink is not only good in taste but can be drunk hot or cold. “Not being much of a beverages person, one thing about the monsoon I look forward to is enjoying that steaming mug of masala milk with turmeric that completes my rain experience,” says Tanvee Deorah, 23, a Delhi-based student preparing for the civil services.

Bhajiya Pav

hopped golden potatoes, slightly crisp on the outside and soft and silky on the inside, peppered with spices and occasionally topped with some mint chutney. Tawa aloo is one of the most delectable delicacies to enjoy as you watch the pouring rain.

e’ve all munched on onion, aloo and vegetable bhajiyas/ pakodas, dipping them into a variety of chutneys ranging from chilli and pudina to tomato sauce. But what if the best of two worlds come together – crispy bhajiyas between butter-soaked, toasted buns? In one word, it would be heaven!

Photo: CHA BAR

SULEIMANI CHAI Andhra, Kerala

DARJEELING TEA & ASSAM TEA

A form of black tea served with a dash of lemon, the Suleimani chai is popular not only in the land of the Nizams (Hyderabad) but also in the Malabar region of Kerala. “Lemon, being a source of Vitamin C, adds to the antioxidant properties of the tea. Also, the Suleimani chai aids in digestion,” says Dr Batra.

In India, the most sophisticated tea is synonymous with these two varieties hailing from the North-East. Both are considered rich in aroma and ﬂavour and of the highest quality in the world, but subtle differences set them apart. For the best effect, Nitin Warikoo advises, do not add milk to Darjeeling tea. But you can add some milk to Assam tea. “These teas are rich in antioxidants, strengthen your immune system, ﬁght dental plaque, lower cholesterol and maintain heart health,” says Dr Batra. However, no matter what kind of tea you drink, never have more than 2-3 cups a day. “More than that may lead to health problems,” she says. atisha.jain@hindustantimes.com, Follow @JainAtisha on Twitter

The Rain Song Playlist

MONSOON SPECIAL

Nobody romances the rains better than Bollywood. Are you ready to shuffle? by Aasheesh Sharma

ONSOON SHOWERS accompanied by soulful Bollywood music are a cool idea to spend a rain-drenched evening. So, we decided to quiz lyricist adman Prasoon Joshi along with composers Shantanu Moitra and Swanand Kirkire on the melodies they love listening to when it pours. The re-

sult is the Brunch Rain Song Playlist. A few notable exceptions here, we feel, include the iconic Allah megh de from Guide, the romantic Rim jhim ke taraane leke aayi barsaat from Kaala Bazaar and the playful Yeh ladki bhigi bhagi si from Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi. What do you think?

PRASOON JOSHI’S PLAYLIST 1. Abke savan aise barse, by Shubha Mudgal: I wrote it 13 years ago, but the number, rendered powerfully by Shubha, is still popular. 2. Dekho na, Fanaa: Sonu Nigaam and Sunidhi Chauhan did justice to my lyrics. Yeh saazish hai boondon ki. It’s a conspiracy of raindrops. 3. Bole re papihara, Guddi: This gem of Hindustani classical,

pictured on Jaya Bhaduri, has a certain sobriety to it. 4. O sajna, barkha bahar aayi, Parakh: Lata Mangeshkar was at the peak of her powers. Aise rimjhim mein o sajan, pyase, pyaase tere nayan. Beautiful! 5. Megha jhar, jhar barsaat re, Drishti: One for Kishori Amonkar’s legion of admirers.

SHANTANU MOITRA’S PLAYLIST 1. Aha rim jhim ke ye pyare pyare, Usne Kaha Tha: I love Talat Mehmood’s voice. The song makes me nostalgic about listening to Bhule Bisre Geet on Vividh Bharati. 2. O Sajna, barkha bahar aayee, Parakh: The combination of Bimal Roy, Lata Mangeshkar and Sadhana is unbeatable. The rain falls from the roof like a veil. 3. Ghar aja, ghir aye badra, Chhote

Nawab: Because I relate rain to songs based on raags. 4. Rim jhim gire sawan, Manzil: In the baritone voice of Kishore, it was an antakshri favourite. 5. Ab ke sawan aise barse by Shubha Mudgal: It was the ﬁrst album I recorded. One of my favourite memories of the song is people dancing to it while playing it in their car at India Gate.

SWANAND KIRKIRE’S PLAYLIST 1. Ghanan ghanan ghir ghir aaye badra, Lagaan: The way Javed Saheb has written it is poignant. 2. Hai, hai yeh majboori, Roti, Kapada Aur Makaan: How can someone leave behind his sweetheart in the season of love? Particularly when she is Zeenat Aman. 3. Phir se aaiyo badra bidesi, Namkeen: The imagery of decorating

the clouds with pearls is poetic. 4. Saawan ke jhoole pade, Jurmana: Lata croons Anand Bakshi’s words, set to tune by RD Burman. 5. Chakdhoom, dhoom, Dil Toh Paagal Hai: The lyrics might be nonsensical: Ghode jaisi chaal, haathi jaisi dum. But the way Shah Rukh and Madhuri welcome the rain is both mischievous and fun. aasheesh.sharma@hindustantimes.com

JULY 13, 2014

MONSOON SPECIAL

Love Means Having To Say You’re Sari

What’s the best way to show you’re drenched in love (or lust)? Bollywood has only one answer to this question: the wet sari. Here’s how it’s been since 1955 by Satarupa Paul

he year is 1955. The scene is from a black-and-white film that became the first ever Hindi motion picture to gross `2 crore at the box office. A Chaplin-esque trickster, dressed in ankle-length trousers, a tattered coat and a bowler hat, bravely sets off to proclaim his love for a demure, virtuous woman, modestly draped in a cotton sari, on a dark, rainy night. He opens an umbrella for her, looks into her eyes and asks earnestly, Pyaar hua ikrar hua hai, pyaar se phir kyun darta hai dil? Her cotton sari now wet and clinging to her body, her confusion shining in her eyes, her lips quivering with apprehension, she replies, Kehta hai dil rasta mushkil, maloom nahi kahan manzil. Welcome to Bollywood’s love affair with the wet sari. Starting from Shree 420, the wet sari has been the epitome of a woman’s sensuality. In its many avatars through the years it has also exemplified the liberty and modernity that women stood for through those times.

We bring you a timeline for the wet saree in Hindi movies 1955 – Nargis – Shree 420 (Pyaar hua ikrar hua hai)

In one of the most iconic rain songs ever, the unassuming wet sari on a shy Nargis acts as an extension of her conservative values and contradicts her repressed longing.

1958 – Madhubala – Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi (Ek ladki bheegi bhaagi si) An anxious Madhubala whose car has broken down in the middle of a rainy night is confronted by the harmless ﬂirting of Kishore Kumar, the mechanic. Her apprehension and distrust, as she pulls the wet pallu of the sari around her, turn to a grudging interest in the goofy mechanic, and she drops her armour and smiles.

1979 – Moushumi Chatterjee – Manzil (Rimjhim gire saawan)

1982 – Smita Patil – Namak Halaal (Aaj rapat jaye toh) Smita Patil in Namak Halaal

Dusky beauty Smita Patil tries to detach her white and red wet sari from Amitabh Bachchan’s coat button, but only half-heartedly. The white of her sari represents her innate need to preserve her modesty while the red shows her wild streak.

Moushumi Chatterjee and Amitabh Bachchan in Manzil

Raj Kapoor and Nargis in Shree 420

restrained romance of those times.

Sweet, homely Moushumi in a printed cotton sari, gets wet in the rain while out on a date with Amitabh Bachchan. The simplicity of the wet sari on her represents the excitement of ﬁrst love and the beauty of the

1987 and 1989 – Sridevi – Mr India (Kaate nahi katke yeh din yeh raat) and Chandni (Lagi aaj saawan ki phir woh jhadi hai)

Sridevi in Mr India in a wet blue chiffon sari, with expressions on her face that would make any man (or ghost) go weak in his knees. It was one of the most seductive numbers of the decade. Her subsequent yellow wet

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MONSOON SPECIAL

twitter.com/HTBrunch sari scene in Chandni was more subdued, perhaps in tune with the ominous mood of the song.

1994 – Raveena Tandon – Mohra (Tip tip barsa pani)

ing in this wet sari song from this Priyadarshan-directed comedy.

2013 – Shraddha Kapoor – Aashiqui 2 (Tum hi ho) Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai history of Bollywood, thanks to the chemistry that the two shared.

1999 – Sonali Bendre – Sarfarosh (Jo haal dil ka)

Akshay Kumar and Raveena Tandon in Mohra Raveena in a wet yellow chiffon doing those extremely bold moves was a sign of the times to come — when women would become increasingly comfortable in their sexuality and bold in their outlook.

1994 – Manisha Koirala – 1942: A Love Story (Rim jhim rim jhim)

While Raveena seduced Akshay in her wet yellow sari, a coy Manisha was romancing Anil Kapoor under a bougainvillea arch in a wet yellow sari as well. But Manisha’s avatar was concordant with the time the ﬁlm was set in and hence more passive.

When an otherwise timid Sonali Bendre, mostly dressed in churidar kameez throughout the ﬁlm, fantasises about wearing wet sari-like garments in bright blue, yellow and red, and romancing Aamir Khan in the rain, you tend to believe that there is a wild side to every woman.

2003 and 2009 – Kareena Kapoor – Chameli (Bhaage re mann) and 3 Idiots (Zoobi doobi)

In the ﬁrst, Kareena’s character, a prostitute, ﬁnds exhilaration in the rain in a vivid red sari and dares to free her mind. In the other, a serious, bespectacled doctor escapes into a

Kareena Kapoor in Chameli fantasy world where, wearing a stunning orange saree, she dances on a swing in the rain. Two very different settings in two very different ﬁlms, yet with one thing in common – the desire to let go.

2009 – Katrina Kaif – De Dana Dan (Gale lag jaa)

All the leading ladies were dancing in wet saris in the rain or under a waterfall, so Katrina had to do it too. We couldn’t ﬁnd any deep mean-

1998 – Kajol – Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (Title song in a gazebo)

Kajol in a simmering hot red wet sari and Shah Rukh Khan in a wet black and translucent shirt, dancing to imaginary music under a gazebo created a scene that coloured the dreams of all ’90s kids. It is perhaps the most sexy rain scene in the

Aamir Khan and Sonali Bendre in Sarfarosh

Shraddha Kapoor and Aditya Roy Kapoor in Aashiqui 2 The latest to join the wet sari bandwagon, Shraddha Kapoor, wearing a turquoise blue saree and a golden blouse, walks away in the rain after a tiff with her leading man, Aditya Roy Kapoor. He pursues her and, in that old-school romantic gesture that we based all our teenage fantasies on, takes off his jacket and shields her from the rain. They spend a few intense seconds under the jacket, each wanting to take a step further but both holding back. Welcome back, pure, unadulterated romance of the good old times. We hope you are here to stay! satarupa.paul@hindustantimes.com Follow @satarupapaul on Twitter

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“You Don’t Need To Be A Billionaire To Be A Butterfly”

Pakistani writer Moni Mohsin’s third book in the hilarious Butterfly series is out today. We asked her about writing, Pakistan and of course, her heroine by Saudamini Jain

UTTERFLY IS back. Oho baba, you know na, that stupid si glam si character in London-based Pakistani writer Moni Mohsin’s books. If you still don’t get the reference, you have missed out too many laughs to count, and some very funny books by one of the wittiest writers in the subcontinent. The Return of the Butterfly, the third instalment in the Butterfly series, is out today. The three books – The Diary of a Social Butterfly (2008), Tender Hooks (2011) and this one – are so many things in one. They’re satire, humour, a concise timeline of events in 21st century Pakistan and, at a very basic level, chick lit. The books follow Butterfly, a superficial Pakistani socialite, and her view of what’s happening in Pakistan and the world. She is silly, self-absorbed and cannot spell to save her life. “But she’s a good person,” says Mohsin. The writer

spoke to us on the phone from London. Excerpts from the interview:

Which of the three Butterfly books did you enjoy writing the most?

Tender Hooks was the most fun to write. The Diary of a Social Butterfly was a series of columns that had been published in the newspaper The Friday Times. I didn’t set out to write the book. For the columns, I was reacting to what was happening in the news. It was a very different sort of creative effort that produced Tender Hooks.

Do you plan to write another serious novel like The End of Innocence (2006)?

Yes. But I’m working on some nonfiction at the moment. It’s entirely new for me and I have to draw a lot on my training as a journalist.

How did you become a novelist?

When I got married, moved to London and had my daughter, I started

AN EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT FROM MONI MOHSIN’S February 2009 Civilian peace mission returns from India Butterﬂy appears in society magazine Again peace mission has gone and come back from India. Again they didn’t take me. Dekho zara! All these bore, bore types went instead. NGO wallahs and human writes wallahs and journalists and politicos aur pata nahin kaun kaun. No wonder they have come back with their own faces. No wonder Indians are still not talking to us. I wouldn’t do sullah with such bore

JULY 13, 2014

types either, baba. That’ll teach them to take more interesting people next time. Honestly, mein hoti tau I would have had all the Indians eating out of my hand in two sticks. I would have talked about how even our farishtas don’t know who Ajmal Kasab is and how I am so much believer of Pak– Hind dosti, and how we should all follow example of Dawood Ibrahim and Javed Miandad who’ve got their bacchas married despite of being from opposite sides of the boarder. Then I would have makkhan lagaoed them by telling them how my favourite book is The Wide Tiger (which I haven’t read but hear has won the Noble Prize) and how my favourite ﬁlm is Slump Dog Millionaire (which I didn’t like but hear is going to win the Oscar) and I would have said how true their depictation of India is and how world is saying hai, what a

sided as Janoo. Janoo’s just always serious. He doesn’t have a great sense of humour, I think. [Pauses] He must actually. Janoo must have a sense of humour to put up with her. And I think my husband must have a sense of humour to put up with me!

writing little fragments, memories of my childhood... I realised they were promising to be a bigger story. It took me about five years to write The End of Innocence. Then, an editor from India suggested I compile my columns into a diary of a social butterfly and make it into a book. I did. And it worked.

Which Indian city do you like most?

How do you write satire?

You hear things, see things, watch things happening in the world. And you think, that’s funny. But a lot of satire comes from anger. You want to criticise it, in a funny way. You ridicule it. That’s how satire is born.

Does it make things difficult, not offending people?

Delhi is lovely because it’s a lot like Lahore. I think Calcutta is wonderful. I’m sure it’s a maddening city to live in, but the people are interesting and intellectual and the city is kind of falling around them – but it’s so beautiful. I love the Hooghly and the food. One thing I really, really want to do is spend time in Indian Punjab. I want to go to Ludhiana, I want to go to Amritsar... One of the readers of Butterfly got in touch with me on Twitter and said to me, these people that you write about, they are exactly the same in Ludhiana. Hopefully I’ll be able to come next year!

One thing I really, really want to do is spend time in Indian Punjab

If I’m not offensive at all, it won’t be satire. You have to offend somebody! I’m sure I offend a lot of people. The people I ridicule, I want them to get the message. This is not just to make people laugh, but also make people think.

In a session at the Emirates Literature Festival, you said your children hate going to Pakistan.

Butterflies (and others) in the subcontinent love the book. What about those abroad?

They don’t hate going to Pakistan. They only worry about the violence and heavy security – they don’t like the danger involved with everything. My daughter also finds other things – common to all subcontinental countries: how men jostle against you, stare at you or try and make you feel uncomfortable in a public space.

There are Butterflies in the West as well. But there are fewer Butterflies and they have to have a lot of money to be a Butterfly in England. But you don’t need to be a billionaire to have a Butterfly sort of life in the subcontinent. Therefore it strikes a chord with people here.

Is your husband like Janoo?

saudamini.jain@hindustantimes.com Follow @SaudaminiJain on Twitter

I don’t think my husband is as one-

THE RETURN OF THE BUTTERFLY lovely, neat and clean place India is and how much of human they have and how much I admire them. Then I would have gone shopping to Khan Market and I would have won over each and every shopkeeper by giving him best custom he’s ever had. Bus. Peace achieved. And all this time while I’ve been making my Pak–Hind dosti plans, Janoo has been blubbing in front of TV watching Barrack and Mitchell Obama’s inoculation. ‘This is historic!’ he said again and again like a struck record to poor Kulchoo whom he forced to watch the whole thing on CNN. ‘This is bore,’ I whispered from behind my latest copy of Good Times which has a picture of me on page four, top right hand corner, third from left. I’m the dazzling one in blue. Royal blue, not light blue. In light blue is my best friend Mulloo,

who’s looking in that picture like a blue whale—the largest animal that’s ever inhabited earth, as Kulchoo was reading to me from his homework yesterday. Bigger even than the tyrannosaurus sex. Haan, so Mitchell Obama in yellow frock and green shoes. Okay, I suppose. Vaisay mein hoti tau I would have added some more blings. You know jhoomar ya solitaires ki bangles ya guluband ya rani haar or something. ‘Maybe Mitchell Obama should appoint me as her fashion adviser,’ I said aloud, lowering the corner of my Good Times. Both father and son ignored me. Luckily I am immunized against them. And aur bhi luckily, tension tau mein leti hi nahin. So I went back happily to my Good Times, to page four, top right hand corner, third from left...

JULY 13, 2014

VARIETY

The Ocean Rolls On When its founder quit, fans wondered what would become of Delhi’s iconic fusion rock band Indian Ocean. Wonder no more. Version 2 is a hit by Veenu Singh

ALM, INVITING and eternal is how oceans look in travel magazine pictures. That may also be the best way to describe Indian Ocean. Not the mass of saltwater that heaves at the foot of our subcontinent, but Delhi’s iconic fusion rock band. After all, in this blink-and-youmiss-it world, Indian Ocean has been making waves with its music for 25 years. And this year, with the release of its seventh album, Tandanu, the band has clearly made a statement. It’s going to be around for a long time yet.

LIFE’S A BEACH

“Smooth.” That’s how 40-year-old Amit Kilam, drummer with Indian

NOW

Ocean since 1994, describes the band’s journey. “I have never felt like missing practice even once,” says Amit. “If we missed it, it was only because it was unavoidable.” Indian Ocean was founded by Susmit Sen in 1990 (and named by Susmit’s father), with Asheem Chakravarty with whom he’d been jamming since about 1984. In 1991, Rahul Ram joined, and in 1994, Amit Kilam signed up. The Indian Ocean we knew was born. And it stayed that way till 2009, when Asheem died of a heart attack. “Asheem’s singing was unparalleled. People called him the man with the golden voice,” says Rahul Ram, bassist with Indian Ocean and a singer himself.

guitar and sings Rahul Ram plays the bass rag Kashyap’s Anu for g sun also has too. He Gulaal

mit Sen Nikhil Rao, who replaced Sus an flavour guitarist, has a distinct Indi to his music

16/330 Khajoor Road, an album that released in 2010, was the last Indian Ocean album with Asheem. It was named in honour of a dilapidated bungalow at 16/330, Khajoor Road, Karol Bagh, where the band used to rehearse. Kandisa and Arre Ruk Ja Re Bande were composed there, and the band loved the fact that it had been the home of Pakistani poet Faiz Ahmed Faiz initially.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION

Indian Ocean made its name with indie Hindi music, but made it to the big screen when filmmaker Anurag Kashyap signed them for his movie Black Friday. “Musicians usually compose the background music for a film within a week, but we took over three months with Black Friday and the response was amazing,” says Rahul. They went on to sing two songs for actor and filmmaker Aamir Khan’s Peepli Live!, one of which, Des Mera, was an adaptation of a song from the album Jhini. “We

used the basic melody and chorus of that song, and Sanjeev Sharma and Swanand Kirkire added some lyrics,” says Rahul. And the band also has a film about itself, produced and directed by Jaideep Verma. Leaving Home – the Life and Music of Indian Ocean, charts the band’s journey in its first 20 years through concerts, casual performances and rehearsals.

VERSION 2

But that was Indian Ocean Ver. 1. Indian Ocean Ver. 2 came into being in 2013, when Susmit – the founder! – decided to go solo. Could Indian Ocean work without Susmit? Amit and Rahul thought it could. “We were sad when Susmit left, but in fact his departure actually had a positive effect on us,” says Amit. “We started meeting more often to practice and are more united now.” That led to Tandanu, Indian Ocean’s first album without Asheem and Susmit and its most ambitious so far. The word ‘Tandanu’ has no meaning. It was chosen purely for its rhythm, but then rhythm is what this new album is all about. Because Tandanu has a twist. It consists of seven new songs,

Percussionist Amit Kilam plays the drums and also pitches in with voc als

as the

JULY 13, 2014

Tuheen Chakrav orty has been a part of the band since 2010 and plays the tab la and other percussion instruments

Himanshu Josh i, part of the ba nd since 2010, handles the vocals

Photo: ASHIMA YADAVA

twitter.com/HTBrunch

THEN Amit Kilam joined the band in 1994 and plays the drums

Rahul Ram, who happened to be Susmit’s classmate 1 from Xavier’s, joined in 199

Photo: HARIKRISHNA KATRAGADDA

arty Asheem Chakrav der of was the co-foun ssed the band. He pa 09 20 in ay aw

Susmit Sen founded the band in 1990. He recently quit to go solo

each one in collaboration with a musician that the band admires, including Pandit Vishwa Mohan Bhatt, Vishal Dadlani, Selva Ganesh, Karsh Kale, Shankar Mahadevan, Shubha Mudgal and Kumaresh Rajagopalan. The music ranges from the classical to the contemporary, and there are short films about the making of each track. “The moment I heard Tandanu, I knew I wanted to be part of it because the song has a very unique, catchy kind of a lyrical rhythmic quality to it,” says Shankar Mahadevan. “Indian Ocean is the first band to do music like this.”

Susmit’s departure, abandoning his PhD in Material Science just to be part of the band. Nikhil was chosen to replace Susmit because of the ‘Indianness’ of his music. “He’s got a nice Carnatic influence and plays a range of styles that end up making his own style,” says Rahul. Susmit had also liked Nikhil’s style, giving the young guitarist advice and encouragement. “He even offered me his guitar till I got my own equipment, which meant a lot to me,” says Nikhil. Working with Indian Ocean has been incredible, say 27-year-old Tuheen Chakravorty and 51-year-old Himanshu Joshi. For Rahul too, Tandanu is special. “But the real test will be our next album, which will be purely the band’s in every sense of the word,” he says.

Tandanu has seven songs composed with musicians the band admires

A NEW BEAT

As the songs from Tandanu released over the last two months, the response made Indian Ocean gladder than ever that they’d not only stayed together, but also added three new members. While Himanshu Joshi and Tuheen Chakravorty have been playing with Indian Ocean since 2010, 29-year-old Nikhil Rao joined after

JULY 13, 2014

veenus@hindustantimes.com Follow @VeenuSingh12 on Twitter

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indulge

Turning The Tables

Boycott restaurants that do not respect their customers

T HAPPENED this way. I know and hugely admire Rahul Akerkar whose Indigo restaurant has been a trendsetter in Bombay. Some months ago, he called me to say that he was opening a branch of Indigo in Delhi near the Hyatt Regency. I was very excited because Delhi could do with one more great dining option. Then: silence. No more was heard of Indigo. But several months later, the Akerkars (Rahul and his wife, Malini) opened an Indigo Deli in the Ambience Mall in Vasant Kunj. The Deli is Rahul’s sub-brand, a sort of Emporio Armani to his Giorgio Armani or a Gateway to his Taj. Malini texted, asking if I would like to try the restaurant and I promised I would when I had the time. Then, strange things began to happen. At least two people whose opinion I respect told me how bad the food was. I was unwilling to believe this because Rahul knows

Vir Sanghvi

rude food

MONEY MATTERS

At the Bombay Wasabi (above) when it ﬁrst opened, unless they knew who you were (i.e. you were likely to spend a lot of money), they claimed the restaurant was sold out

his food. Even so, I resolved to go and try it for myself. Accordingly, I phoned the restaurant one Saturday and asked for a table for two. The nice girl who answered the phone told me she could offer me a table at 2.15 pm. But she asked me to spell out the name I booked the table in (I rarely book in my own name for reasons that will shortly become obvious) and advised me that as the restaurant was very busy she could only hold the table for ten or fifteen minutes. If I was late, then they would give the table away. And so I duly turned up at 2.15 pm only to find the man at the door in heated conversation with a family of three. They had booked a table, they said. And the restaurant had even called them back. Oh no, said the Indigo Deli guy. It is only a wait-list booking. But you called us back and confirmed, they protested. No, said the man, we cannot give you a table. You will just have to wait. Finally it was my turn. I said we had a booking. No, you do not, said the man, without bothering to look carefully at the list of reservations in front of him. Because I can read upside down, I showed him where the booking was. “Well, it is only a wait-list,” he said. Unfortunately for him, whoever it was who had noted the booking had helpfully written “confirmed” next to the name. I pointed this out to him. “No,” he said. “We can’t give you a table.” I asked to speak to the manager. He said he was the manager. As I was about to leave, he looked up and something clicked. “I’ll find you a table, sir”, he said and wandered

JULY 13, 2014

inside. Now, a new man arrived to take up the post at the entrance to the restaurant. “I am the manager,” he announced. (Obviously the place has a lot of managers.) I said how disgraceful it was that they were not honouring reservations. He was unmoved. Another group approached him. Same problem. He would not honour their reservation either. There was no sense of apology. No sense of: “Sorry, we are overbooked, could you please wait. It will only be a few minutes.” Basically, the attitude was: you can just buzz off. We are full. And we don’t really give a damn that you’ve made a booking, dressed up and driven all the way here. At this stage, the first guy returned from inside the restaurant. “Your table is ready, Mr Sanghvi”, he announced grandly. “Hang on a minute,” I said. “What about all these other people with reservations? Are you going to give me a table because you are scared I’ll write about it while ignoring everybody else with a booking?” He looked nonplussed because I was quite agitated by this stage. But the broad answer was: yes. Because he had worked out who I was, despite the name on the booking, he was going to give me a table and leave everyone else waiting. I did the only thing I could have in the circumstances. I turned around and walked out. Ten minutes later, the restaurant called to entreat me to return. But frankly, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to a restaurant that treats customers with such contempt, does not bother about reservations, and then miraculously finds tables when it thinks this might get into the papers. Perhaps the food is as bad as I’ve been told. Perhaps it isn’t. I’ll never find out. So, here’s my question: why do restaurants do this? Why do they treat paying customers like dirt? Partly, it is inept and sloppy management. They don’t know how to allot tables or understand how reservations work. But mostly it is arrogance. The restaurant is doing well. It is small, by the standards of its competition in the Ambience Mall, not very expensive and has the advantage of novelty (everything does well in Delhi for three months). So as long as they are full, they think they can ignore reservations and treat customers with contempt. There was a time when only expensive places at fivestar hotels behaved like this. At many hotel coffee shops in the old days, they would not accept bookings, maintain a

YOU CAN BUZZ OFF!

The attitude at Rahul Akerkar’s (right) Indigo Deli in Delhi (above) was: we don’t really give a damn that you’ve made a booking, dressed up and driven all the way here waiting list and then promptly find tables for the rich, the famous and the influential. I remember in the early days of the Hyatt’s La Piazza in Delhi, (mid-1990s I would imagine) when a no-bookings policy applied, ordinary punters had to hang around the corridors while the rich were ushered at once to their tables with much bowing and scraping. It was the same at the Bombay Wasabi when it first opened. Unless they knew who you were (i.e. you were likely to spend a lot of money), they claimed the restaurant was sold out. I was often astonished to find them turning people away when the restaurant was half-empty. It was the same (around 12 years ago) at Djinns the nightclub at the Hyatt Regency (yes, again!), where they would make people queue up for a table even when they had lots of room inside. A former employee of the Hyatt confided to me that this was official policy: make the place seem desirable by treating customers like dirt. Fortunately, all that has changed. Wasabi is not as hot as it used to be (in Bombay, at least) so it is not difficult to get a table. Djinns has closed and the current management at the Hyatt bends over backwards to be nice to guests. Some of this has to do with competition. There are just so many hotels these days that nobody can afford to treat customers badly. And hotel managers are much less arrogant than they used to be. The present regime at the Bombay Taj is efficient, first rate and customer-friendly, and even the Oberoi, long renowned for its arrogance, now follows a customers-come-first kind of policy. At Bukhara, still Delhi’s most successful restaurant (in terms of turnover) there are always crowds of people

waiting for tables. The staff is unfailingly courteous and warm so nobody feels that they are being treated badly. Really successful places (and Bukhara has had over three decades as Delhi’s top restaurant) don’t need to be arrogant. They know that it is their customers who have made them what they are – and are properly grateful. There are places that don’t take bookings but many of them are well organised. For instance, Jairam Banan has spent years standing outside his Swagath in Defence Colony (and at Sagar for decades), taking down the names of people who are waiting for tables. The system is so fair and polite that nobody minds waiting. At SodaBottleOpenerWala in Cyber Hub (in Gurgaon), they don’t take advance bookings. But they will take your name and number and phone you the moment a table becomes vacant. At Soam, my favourite Bombay restaurant, the system is so smooth that even though it is always packed at lunchtime, the wait is pleasant and never too long. What I loathe most about any restaurant is the grotesque VIP culture. You always hear stories about people saying “Don’t you know who I am” or “Jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai” (to which the only good answer is: “Why? Didn’t you mother tell you? Or wasn’t she sure?”). But the truth is that at many restaurants people don’t even need to throw their weight around. The staff is so busy sucking up to the rich and famous that regular customers don’t even get a look in. But as more and more of us can afford to eat out, the bias in favour of the rich will have to change. And if it doesn’t, we should boycott restaurants that do not respect their customers.

OWNERSHIP QUOTIENT

At Soam (top), my favourite Bombay restaurant, the system is so smooth that even though it is always packed at lunchtime, the wait is pleasant and never too long; Jairam Banan (above) has spent years standing outside his Swagath in Defence Colony (and at Sagar for decades), taking down the names of people who are waiting for tables

MORE ON THE WEB For more columns by Vir Sanghvi, log on to hindustantimes. com/brunch The views expressed by the columnist are personal

indulge

Let them eat Cake N Teach your kids to treat food as a fun friend – not a mortal enemy

O,” SHE said, turning away from the chocolate cake being sliced up to celebrate a friend’s birthday. “I can’t eat cake. I will get too fat.” She stopped for a second, looking stricken. “I think I already am,” she said sadly. I would probably have thought nothing of this – my friends tend to say this sort of stuff every time we eat out – except that this young lady was all of six. Yes, six years old, and already full of self-loathing for her body and weighed down with an unhealthy relationship with food. And this, despite the fact that she was not in the slightest bit chubby (let alone fat). All of us present turned accusingly – as you do – towards her mother, unspoken rebukes all too apparent on our faces. She turned a bright red and stammered, “I really don’t know where she gets this from. I have never told her that she is fat. Or that she can’t eat cake.”

Seema Goswami

spectator THIN, AND LOVIN’ IT

Kate Moss (below) famously said that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

Photos: GETTY IMAGES

MORE ON THE WEB For more SPECTATOR columns by Seema Goswami, log on to hindustantimes.com/ brunch. Follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/ seemagoswami. Write to her at seema_ ht@ rediffmail.com The views expressed by the columnist are personal

And you know what? I believe her. Knowing her as I do, I am pretty darn sure that she could never be so insensitive as to say such things to her daughter. And yet, that is the message that her daughter has picked up from her. Sometimes it’s really not about what you actually tell your children. It’s about how you behave around them. It’s about non-verbal clues that they pick up from hanging around you at the dinner table. When Mummy sticks to salad and soup for dinner because she has put on weight that tells her daughter two things. One, that it is not a good thing to put on weight. Fat is bad. Thin is good. And two, that food is the enemy. You probably know girls like this as well (yes, for some reason, it is mostly girls who fall prey to body dysmorphia). Children who have internalised the message that fat is bad and that – as Kate Moss so famously said – nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. How could they not? We live in a world that venerates skinniness as some sort of divine attribute. The media are awash with airbrushed pictureperfect images of thin women showing off their washboard stomachs and toned behinds. Film actresses and other female celebrities are routinely slagged off when they put on a few kilos, even if it is after a baby. Remember the bad press Aishwarya Rai Bachchan got when she arrived in Cannes carrying a bit of post-

JULY 13, 2014

INDULGE THEM, THEY ARE KIDS!

Photo: SHUTTERSTOCK

It makes much better sense to serve up the odd sugary treat or French fries so that they seem like just another food choice

pregnancy weight? And the praise showered on her when she did her Cannes call this year, looking like her old svelte self ? That is the kind of size-ist nonsense that passes off for media commentary these days. There really is no way to protect our children from this stuff. It is all around them all the time. But to counteract that it falls upon mothers, much more so than fathers, to send out some positive messages. Because like it or not, girls are more at risk, and it’s their mothers they look to as they try to navigate the world. So, for all the mothers of young girls out there, who want their daughters to grow up with a positive body image rather than eating disorders, here are some dos and don’ts. n Don’t fetishise food. Don’t get into fad diets in which you give up entire food groups claiming an intolerance or a food allergy. The message you pass on your child is that food is the enemy. n Instead, teach your daughter to treat food as DOES SIZE MATTER? a fun friend. Get her to help you in the kitchen, Remember the bad giving her age-appropriate tasks. Teach her how press Aishwarya Rai to lay the table. Make the dinner table a place of Bachchan got when she arrived in Cannes family conversation, laughter and the happiness carrying a bit of post- of eating together; not a minefield which may blow up in your face if you end up mixing propregnancy weight? teins and carbohydrates (no, I don’t know what that’s all about either). n Serve up healthy food by all means but don’t restrict your menu to exclude all ‘treats’. That just turns them into forbidden fruit, which – as we all know – becomes all the more attractive for being verboten. It makes much better sense to serve up the odd sugary treat or French fries so that they seem like just another food choice. n If you must obsess about your weight, don’t do it within her earshot. She doesn’t need to know that you were ten kilos lighter before you had her. And how hard it is to get your pre-baby figure back. She thinks you look perfect anyway. Don’t tell her any different. n Don’t compliment other women by saying how much weight they have lost or how thin they look. The subliminal messaging that goes through to your daughter is that losing weight is what matters. That you can never look good unless you are thin. And that starving yourself to achieve that goal is perfectly okay. n Don’t ever use the word ‘diet’ within her hearing, even if you append it with the politically correct ‘healthy’. If you must, use the phrase ‘healthy eating’. Or better still, ‘healthy lifestyle’ which involves eating well, and getting enough exercise. n Do tell her how lovely she looks. But never make it contingent on how much she weighs. Beauty does not lie in a particular shape or size; as the old saying goes, it lies in the eye of the beholder.

SPOTLIGHT

Some Like It Hot...

Despite the onslaught of stand-up comics and laughter channels, the genre of adult comedies in theatre is seeing a revival by Aasheesh Sharma

DULTEROUS husbands, two-timing wives, familial bickering and idiosyncratic individuals are the irresistible ingredients for a group of directors who like to dish out ‘mature’ or ‘hot’ comedies to theatregoers. And the audience, it appears, is lapping it all up. Director and playwright Aamir Raza Husain, one of the best known exponents of the genre in Delhi, says intelligent writing, satire and repartee can never go out of vogue, even in times of YouTube laughter channels and stand-up comedy. “I don’t think you need vulgarity to induce humour. I like to keep my humour sophisticated. What’s essential to create laughter for sure, are clever lines and an ability to act,” says the director of such adult-themed laugh riots as The Urge, No Sex Please, We Are British, When Did You Last See Your Trousers? and A Bit On The Side. For the theatre-going audience of 2014, particularly those who’ve become accustomed to the brand of humour popular on British and American television, a punch line every few minutes is a prerequisite. Therefore, if spontaneous applause is an indicator, theatre lovers cracked up every few minutes on the saucy lines delivered by the cast of Ashvin Gidwani’s Scent of a Man, staged recently at Mumbai’s Sophia Bhabha Auditorium. The play, a story of two couples, an advertising executive and his neurotic marriage counsellor wife and a Tupperware saleswoman and her professor husband, is one of the most successful productions in Mumbai’s theatre circles.

wasn’t doing her pottery classes any longer, she replies: “Things were getting on top of me,” pointedly looking at Deven Khote, who plays the toddy-loving sociologyspewing Bengali professor with whom she’s shared a history and a few romps in the backseat. In another enjoyable repartee, Khote, the eccentric Communist professor, ostensibly worried about the economy and the plight of the small farmer, is at the receiving end of the jargon he unleashes on the world. Ash Chandler, playing a yuppie business executive, asks him to “Flush the toddy down and

METHOD IN MADNESS

The script for Scent of a Man has been infused with a lot of wry humour that relationships between couples generally invite, says writer Ivan Rodrigues. Sample this: when Bhavna Pani, the saleswoman, asks the marriage counsellor why she

cut out the middleman!” Gidwani, credited with making the hot comedy genre commercially viable, says he formulated the plot for the play nine years ago while travelling in America. “We all know that we through go situations that are adulterous in nature, the forbidden fruit. But in India, we didn’t have an in-your-face script that brought the subject out rather than camouflaged it. At the time I was travelling in America, the influence of the Internet and American television, particularly in the way people conduct their interpersonal relationships, was just coming to India. For the first time, a generation of people in the 2000s got exposed to dysfunctional relationships and neurotic lives. Nine years later, the acceptability for such subjects has become greater,” adds the director, who once worked

LAUGH A MINUTE

A scene from Ashvin Gidwani’s production Scent of a Man

as a production assistant to Ronnie Screwvala and Hosi Vasunia in the late Eighties.

IT’S THE SITUATION, STUPID!

Many a hot comedy hinges upon the circumstances the protagonists get entangled in. So, in that sense, adult comedies are nothing else but grown-up sitcoms, says Delhi-based theatre director Renu Chopra of Dramatech. Chopra, the brain behind a recent successful adaptation of Ray Cooney’s Run for Your Wife, and one of the few women directors in the adult space, says the laughter often lies in the frequency of the gags. “In Run for Your Wife, for instance, a man is trying to do a balancing act between two wives. Once he meets with an accident, he blurts out the address of the other wife to the police. This leads to a comedy of errors. To adapt it to a Delhi audience, we decided to keep his families at Kalkaji and Malviya Nagar, well-known resettlement colonies that would have a resonance with the viewers,” says Chopra.

A TALE OF TWO CITIES

Even as Hosi Vasunia and Adi Marzban, two iconic Mumbai directors, helped popularise the genre in Maximum City – Delhi, too, has had a thriving tradition of adult comedies, recalls Aamir Raza Husain. “If one were to chart a graph of adult comedies in the Capital, the late ’60s and the decade that followed saw the advent of risqué Punjabi plays such as Soti Garam Voti Naram and Chadhi Jawani Buddhe Nu, which played at the Sapru House auditorium. It also hosted Hindi-Urdu situational comedies such as Adrak Ke Panje which travelled all over the world,”

LAUGHTER TROPES ASHVIN GIDWANI “A punch line every two minutes. If you give them a break, the audience interest will wane over an 80-minute play.” MRINAL DHAR “Interpersonal relationships. If

JULY 13, 2014

THE MEMORY PROJECT

claims Husain. Director Mrinal Dhar’s Man is a Bitch, an adult take on Bernard Shaw’s Man and Superman, plays on his favourite theme: the battle of the sexes. “We’ve staged it more than 25 times in Delhi itself,” says Dhar, the creative director of the Creative Energies Theatre Association. “Next, we are planning to adapt Alfred Hitchcock’s 39 Steps. The production will have LCD imagery playing behind the cast on the stage,” adds the director. Dhar says the best thing going for sex comedies in India is the evolution of audience tastes. A lot of subjects which would have been taboo earlier are now becoming acceptable. “Unlike the 1980s, people are actually willing to talk about their sex lives. I actually know of fathers giving performance tips to sons. Thank God, Indians are finally beginning to laugh at themselves!”

A scene from Renu Sagar Chopra’s adaptation of Run for Your Wife says Husain. Husain’s group Stage-Door, formed in 1974 by Marcus Murch, began with doing literary comedies such as those penned by Oliver Goldsmith, George Bernard Shaw and Oscar Wilde. “At the end of the 1970s, we evolved into American comedies by writers like Neil Simon. It was only in the 1980s that we got into mature comedies and sitcoms such as No Sex Please, We Are British. But there never was any nudity or any crudity in our plays,” says Hussain. “Our entire ethos in Delhi is a little more conservative than Mumbai. So, we never cross a line. We used innuendo and wordplay. Wordplay can either be of the Dada Kondke variety or the Angoor, Sanjeev Kumar kind. Even a 12-year-old can watch our productions with his parents and neither would feel embarrassed,”

People are willing to discuss their sex lives and laugh at themselves

aasheesh.sharma@hindustantimes.com Follow @aasheesh74 on Twitter

A few good theatre directors on their favourite comic devices you do a script involving a battle of the sexes, particularly one where the woman is taking her better half apart, most people can relate to it. It never fails!” AAMIR RAZA HUSAIN “What you need to create humour

is clever lines and an ability to act. Plus wordplay, not of the Dada Kondke kind, but the Sanjeev Kumar kind.” RENU SAGAR CHOPRA “The time-tested trope is comic timing, you can’t really do without it.”

JULY 13, 2014

BRUNCH DATE

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What’s With These Lyrics?

Johnny Johnny, It’s

Baby doll, Ragini MMS 2

We get nonsense lyrics. We may even enjoy them sometimes. But when they insist on matching falls to saris...

Ice cream khaungi, The Xposé

LIPPING channels on the telly last week, I stopped at Drew Barrymore twistlipping these lines from the 2007 rom-com, Music and Lyrics, “A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction… But then, as you get to know the person, that’s the lyrics. Their story...” If you were to believe that, then lyricist Mayur Puri’s story would be fairly unidimensional. Or that’s what you’d imagine after hearing the latest soundtrack that mutilates a kindergarten favourite from It’s Entertainment. Sample: Johnny Johnny? Haanji, Do dikhte hai? Naaji, Aankhein kholo – Haanji, Jhooth boleya? Naaji. He’s the same person who introduced the golden phrase Touch karke eight times in the opening stanza of Sari ka fall from R... Rajkumar last year. And he’s not the only one intent on murdering the dulcet quality we have come to associate with Hindi film lyrics over the years. But all of Bollywood is cheering him along.

HERD MENTALITY

2013 was a peculiar year when it came to song writing. There were songs describing body parts (Tooh from Gori Tere Pyaar Mein), kicking body parts (Bum pe laat from Himmatwala), even teaching you Maths (One two three four from Chennai Express); frankly, ever since Hum Saath Saath Hain taught us the alphabet (called the ABCD song, it had the entire alphabet in it!) this was a long time coming. A bhajan was desecrated into a part rap/ part song ending with Ola amigos sabko salam, Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram (Krrish 3) and a beloved was addressed as Coca Cola, wine and a pistol’s thaayn – Tu pyali, main chaai, main pistol tu thaayn (in a

Entertainment

by Yashica Dutt song titled Pe Pe Pe from Shortcut Romeo). Face savers like Zinda (Bhaag Milkha Bhaag), Tum tak (Raanjhanaa) and Manmarziyan (Lootera) were few and far between. Says Irshad Kamil, lyricist for movies like Rockstar, Aashiqui 2, Raanjhanaa and Highway, “Most lyricists are handed a pre-conceived refrain from their directors, which they need to turn into a superhit.” He adds that since many of these songs did end up becoming hits, terrible song-writing got a stamp of commercial approval. The exclusive film club whose entry point was once `100 crore aims to cross a 1000 crore in the near future. And music is a chunky slice of that pie. Filmmakers are unwilling to let mindless lyrics upset this precarious economic equation. Little wonder then that in 2014, any movie vying for the mega crore club features at least one number on the lines of a Char botal vodka or Aaj blue hai paani... aur din bhi sunny sunny. “Bollywood works on formulas,”

Sari ka fall sa, R... Rajkumar

says song-writer Swanand Kirkire, known for his unique, thoughtful lyrics. “If something works, there’ll be at least ten variations of the same. After a Sheila, you’ll have Munni, Babli or Pinky, each raunchier than the last. Vulgarity can work if it propels the story ahead, like Gulzar sa’ab did with Beedi jalaile in Omkara (2006). A song should come organically in a film and not be forced,” he says.

THE URDU PHASE

If a song works in the film industry, you can be sure there will be at least ten variations of it

Gulzar’s songs are an oasis in the middle of the desert that is today’s Bollywood music. His songs in Dedh Ishqiya, in chaste Hindustani and Urdu, were a throwback to the ’50s, when heroes dropped heavy Urdu dialogues. Those poetically rooted lyrics were a reflection of their times, starkly contrasting with the situation today when even casual Hindi is often laborious for the Hinglish-speaking audience. Says Akshay Manwani, author of Sahir Ludhianvi – The People’s Poet, (HarperCollins), “In the ’50s, Urdu was the main language for song writing,

THE LYRICS ROSTER

Barring a few songs – Mast Magan (topleft, 2 States), Zehnaseeb (top, Hasee Toh Phasee) and Highway (left) – 2014 has not been good for lyrics so far JULY 13, 2014

regardless of the langauge the lead character spoke. So to make it more democratic, lyricists like Anand Bakshi introduced a simpler, conversational style to lyrics, such as Mere sapno ki rani kab aayegi tu. Then, in the ’70s, when the protagonist became an angry young man, expecting him to sing shayari would’ve been a bit odd.” He says that it’s this ‘democratisation’ which went vulgar and ridiculous in the ’80s, ’90s and 2000s. “It’s important to note that most lyricists then – Majrooh Sultanpuri, Sahir Ludhianvi, Shailendra – were basically poets. But now except for Irshad Kamil, who has a PhD in poetry, none of the big names are poets per se. Prasoon Joshi is a former ad man, while Swanand (Kirkire) does theatre along with songs. Therefore, the lyrics today are also an expression of these writers, who come from diverse backgrounds.” With releases like Highway and Dedh Ishqiya, 2014 had a promising start. But Baby doll and Char botal vodka from Ragini MMS 2, Ice cream khaungi from The Xposé and now Johnny Johnny from It’s Entertainment quickly dashed these hopes to the ground. Even though songs like Zehnaseeb (Hasee Toh Phasee) and Mast magan (2 States) do turn up, they’re exceptions to the rule. Hoping for deep lyrics rooted in poetry seems an impossible dream at this point. So bring on the chaar botal vodka – to drown one’s sorrows in naturally. yashica.dutt@hindustantimes.com Follow @YashicaDutt on Twitter

WELLNESS

MIND BODY SOUL

SHIKHA SHARMA

DECODING YOUR FOOD LABELS Cool packaging often hides the unhealthy truth within. So read between the lines

OU CAN’T avoid the ready-to-eat foods that overﬂow from the aisles of today’s grocery shops. They’re so tempting, screaming words like ‘sugar free’ and ‘cholesterol free’ and ‘diet’. But do you really understand the labelling? Most people don’t, and that can affect their health. Our quick guide may help clear things up

MISLEADING DESCRIPTIONS Zero Cholesterol

When we see a food package labelled zero cholesterol, we misinterpret it as zero fat. But that can be far from true. Technically and legally, the package could have tons of oil, but still no cholesterol. How? Because olive oil and sunﬂower oil have zero cholesterol. Cholesterol is a fat found in animals and humans, but not in plants. But the oils still have fats.

Zero Sugar

The moment you see these words, you think, ‘diet food’, right? Wrong. Chocolate could contain saccharine or aspartame and therefore be zero sugar, but there is fat in the butter and the cocoa. And even if it is offered as a diet food, if you eat it in large quantities, you’ll continue to put on weight.

Diet and We see these labels on ﬁzzy drinks and think we can go ahead and guzzle them without guilt. But actuZero Calorie ally, these products are loaded with salt, aspartame and preservatives and harmful chemicals that cause bloating rather than weight loss.

HOW TO READ FOOD LABELS Serving Size Food manufacturers can be tricky with serving sizes: they differ on each food label and may not equal the serving size you normally eat. So if you eat twice the serving listed on the label, you will need to double all the numbers in the nutritional facts section. Trans fats are bad for your heart. So check how much of it is present in the product. Ideally, it should be zero or minuscule. Fats that are good for you are monounsaturated, polyunsaturated and omega-3. Fats that are not so good are saturated fats and trans fats. Look out for words like ‘hydrogenated oils’ on the ingredient list. These are trans fats too.

Cholesterol

This will tell you how much cholesterol you get from eating one serving of the food. HDL is ‘good’ cholesterol and LDL is ‘bad’ cholesterol. As before, don’t misinterpret zero cholesterol as zero fat.

Sodium

We need just 10 to 20gm of sodium a day. But canned foods (even ones that don’t taste too salty) and savouries have more sodium than you need.

Sugar

Usually, when a packet says ‘carbs’, what it means is sugar. You don’t need energy from sugar, you need it from whole grain. One teaspoon of sugar is 4gms. And “no sugar added” does not mean that the product is calorie or carbohydrate free or even sugar free (it could have too much natural sugar, as in a fruit juice, which could still do damage to your body).

ask@drshikha. com

MORE ON THE WEB For more columns by Dr Shikha Sharma and other wellness stories, log on to hindustantimes.com/brunch JULY 13, 2014

Photos: SHUTTERSTOCK, THINKSTOCK

Trans Fat

PERSONAL AGENDA

Actress

twitter.com/HTBrunch

Pallavi Sharda

BIRTHDAY SUN SIGN PLACE OF HOMETOWN SCHOOL/COLLEGE BIRTH Pisces Melbourne Lowther Hall Anglican

March 5

Perth, Australia

HIGH POINT OF YOUR LIFE

Finishing my arangetram. Calling my parents to tell them that I’d got the lead role in Besharam

Grammar School, Essendon. University of Melbourne

LOW POINT OF YOUR LIFE Every time I leave my family in Melbourne for work trips

Part of Olay Project Beauty on UTV Stars and shooting Hawaaizaada with Ayushmann Khurrana

Photo : PRODIP GUHA

Madhuri Dixit

my movies

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995), Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998) A MOVIE THAT TAKES YOU BACK TO YOUR CHILDHOOD

Chandni (1989), Lamhe (1991)

ONE PAISA VASOOL FILM

Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (2013) THE FIRST HINDI MOVIE YOU SAW ON THE BIG SCREEN

Hum Aapke Hain Koun..! (1994)

JULY 13, 2014

My 2 minute 16 seconds appearance as Sajida in My Name is Khan (2010)

CURRENTLY I AM...

If not an actress and dancer, Australians are very open you would have been... to learning about various A writer, a journalist cultures, which is why or I would have cultural communities continued studying to there blossom together. earn a PhD. And let’s not leave out A funny thing most Indian MasterChef. The parents do abroad. Aussies get that very They send their children right. on a school excursion You have IITians as with a bottle of Hajmola parents. Were you a for the bus ride. nerd in school? Growing up in Australia, I was not a stereotypical what were your vacations nerd; I was known to like? bunk classes. I Holidays meant trips failed in Maths and WHO IS THE to Delhi with my family. Physics on purpose BEST DANCER in the 11th grade I grew to love India when I was very young. IN BOLLYWOOD? so I would not be What is the most besharam pressured to take thing you have done? them in the 12th. I Leaving my job at a was one of the few law firm and coming Indian-Australian to Mumbai. I half-lied and told kids who graduated school my parents that I was planning doing subjects like Philosophy to do my Masters at Jawaharlal and Literature instead of Nehru University, Delhi. I Physics and Chemistry. applied for admission, paid my The best way to shut up the rumour fees, collected my student card mill is.... and immediately walked out to To laugh it off, and then spread catch a flight to Mumbai. an even bigger rumour. Your one stereotypical Australian trait The first time you felt like an outsider or habit. in India. Using lots of Aussie slang When I was 10 and living in whenever I get excited or Chennai, the school principal angry. asked me to sing ‘Waltzing One thing Australians Matilda’ [Australian ballad] do differently. on stage. I also decided to

THE FILM YOU HAVE SEEN MORE THAN FIVE TIMES.

FIRST BREAK

blast Christmas carols on the sets of Hawaaizaada on Christmas day. It was definitely an ‘outsider’ move. The quirkiest thing you’ve done. Once, in Melbourne, a belly dancer was busking for money without much luck. I joined in and we created a dance party in the middle of the city. This was way before flash mobs were in vogue. The most romantic thing you have ever done for someone. Letting them have the last scoop of ice-cream. Would you date a fan? It would be pretty hard. I don’t know what an electrical appliance would say to me! — Interviewed by Apekshita Varshney