Hindustantimes Brunch 18 March 2012 by Hindustan Times

WEEKLY MAGAZINE, MARCH 18, 2012 Free with your copy of Hindustan Times

What’s up?

Why a single mom was tempted to join a flash mob

Lit agents

How they’re changing the world of books

Peel logic

Bin that fruit skin at your peril

“I love divers’ bodies” Chitrangada Singh’s candid confessions

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MEN GO DISHY No glass ceiling here: the most passionate person in the kitchen these days is a man. And the women aren’t complaining

VIR SANGHVI Scent sense

RAJIV MAKHNI

The new iPad, analysed

Composer Ehsaan (right) and TV anchor Gaurav in their new comfort zone

SANJOY NARAYAN The Alabama soul

SEEMA GOSWAMI

V for vendetta, women style

W AT C H O U T F O R

11, 2012 INE, MARCH WEEKLY MAGAZ tan Times copy of Hindus

Free with your

THE ES H T O ER VOIC virtual movters , here are the clou to Bollywoodthe maximum online From politics who wield and shakers

“I couldn’t walk” erchef But mast na Vikas Khan to run learnt how

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VIR SANGHVI

Dim sum rage

LETTER OF THE WEEK!

ies! a single New serBala n on being One Author Judy trying to find The parent AND

n ain, ma Play it ag big bucks fetch you Gaming can

NI RAJIV MAKH t phones MWC’s hottes

inbox

YAN SANJOY NARA a magic Frank Zapp

AMI SEEMA GOSW Time to rush

And other animals

APROPOS THE article (Who’s Mama’s Pet, March 11), a woman once told me, “My maternal desires are fully satisfied with my three darling tortoises.” She added, “Kids are not for me and they will never be! My tortoises fill my life with love and laughter. That is enough for me and my hubby.” I also know a Parsi gentleman who bequeathed his entire estate to his pet dog, in his will, completely boycotting his wife. A bow to the creative brains at Brunch!

— HIRU BHAMBHANEY, via email Hiru wins a shopping voucher worth ` 2,500! Congrats

Happiness is Brunch

I WAS a regular reader of Brunch for over two years. But my husband did the unthinkable and changed our newspaper last month! Sundays suddenly became dull and insipid without Brunch. I missed reading your magazine so much that I immediately called up our newspaper vendor and subscribed to HT again. Happy Sundays are here again!

Pet peeves

18.03.2012 LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE facebook.com/hindustantimesbrunch Sana Dalvi The article (‘I had to wear heavy, ugly wooden shoes’, March 11) is one bowl of willpower, two tablespoons of hard work, one teaspoon of support, a pinch of luck and garnishing by Vikas Khanna. Keep up the spirit! Ashok Goswami The cover story (The Other Voices, March 11) was amazing! Articulate India is roaring. Deepa S Kalsur All articles by Seema Goswami are so good! I really connect to the thoughts she pens down. Oldtimer Otee Yay! You managed to get Judy Balan (Turning Into Scary Landlady, March 11). Wow! She’s my favourite blogger. Amratha Shetty This is my favourite magazine. I always looks forward to Sunday so I can read Brunch! Hats off to you guys! Keep the good work going!

TWEET YOUR HEART OUT twitter.com/HTBrunch @SavarSuri In midst of SO much work, @HTBrunch’s tech column by @RajivMakhni has the TOP phones of #mwc2012 #mysundayismade wooooohoooooo @manoshmukherjee In The Blink Of An Eye @seemagoswami ‘s story in @HTBrunch today tells a many a tale. Is patience turning to an illusion :) @Ajaythetwit Interesting facts and smart analysis. Most appealing cover story (The Other Voices, March 11) so far. Keep it up!

BRUNCH ON THE WEB hindustantimes.com/brunch

– ROHINI S MURTHY, via email

UNFORTUNATELY, NOT all pet owners are animal lovers (Who’s Mama’s Pet, March 11). Some keep pets just because they find them cute when they were puppies or kittens, but subsequently lose interest and neglect them. For others, it is a status symbol, they have to keep up with the Joneses. Both types of people are despicable.

What’s cookin’, good-lookin’? TV host/actor Gaurav Kapoor and music composer Ehsaan Noorani are the perfect ingredients to make any dish (or at least photoshoot) super fun. You’ll see, if you check out the absolutely gorgeous pictures of the men who cook. Log on now.

– APARNA PAL, via email

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MARCH 18, 2012

Split-Screen for the ladies In Bollywood, men are stars forever but women just get a few years. Read award-winning writer/filmmaker Gautam Chintamani’s latest post on the leading women stars of Hindi cinema. That’s Split-Screen every Friday online!

new!

The Brunch Blogs

This week, read Everything Alternative by Amrah Ashraf. The ‘underground’ world of alternative culture.

Cover Story

Men are venturing into No Man’s Land: the kitchen. They cook, they clean, they serve... and they’re loving it! 21

Mars & Venus

Stop fussing over your baby. Concentrate on each other

Variety

Are your words rotting in a publisher’s slush pile? A literary agent could change that

indulge 14 SPECTATOR Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned 16 RUDE FOOD Aroma is important to the shaping of an experience 18 TECHILICIOUS Should you buy the latest iPad? And what’s the competition? 20 DOWNLOAD CENTRAL Alabama Shakes is earthy, quick and dripping with soul Cover: ASHUTOSH SAPRU Cover Photo: NATASHA HEMRAJANI Location: DRAGONFLY AND VONG WONG RESTAURANT, NARIMAN POINT, MUMBAI

The HT Brunch’s Totally Twisted, Ultra-Difficult Weekly Twitter Quiz is on a small break Much as we love quizzing, we’re going to take a little time off from playing Twitter Inquisitor. In the meantime, you should brush up on your general knowledge because we’ll be back. When? We’ll keep you posted!

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B R U N C H Q U A R T E R LY

Do you want your Brunch to last longer? Then pick up our new 130+ page (it’s thick, you’ll see!), glossy lifestyle magazine:

Brunch Quarterly

All-new stories with the same Brunch feel but a different perspective. Trust us not to bore you with yet another tedious newsstand magazine. Take home a whole new way to read! ■ Start with 12 pages of bite-sized

Farhan Akhtar and Sonam Kapoor turn up the heat!

Also Inside

Still stuck on the samba? Here are the grooviest new dances you have to learn MARCH 18, 2012

Why does fashion have to be ugly sometimes? Or is that just the way we think?

appetisers; quick celeb chats and speedy startling facts ■ Sink your teeth into the main course: great features and stories ■ Feast your eyes on the colourful treats in the Back of the Book section. Molten chocolate, serene fashion, it’s all there! ■ Exclusives! Short story by author Tarquin Hall and a column on Twitter by Shashi Tharoor. ■ Plus, new pieces by your favourite Brunch columnists – Vir Sanghvi and Seema Goswami! For subscriptions contact: chirag.sharma@hindustantimes.com

Guys, brush up on your pre-score prep with Angad Bedi.. Trust us, it works!

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T H E W AY W E A R E

The Problem with Single Parenting –

A three-part series

PART 2

Not Being Single Single...

... because even if you stay out late and guzzle questionable quantities of tequila, procreation does mess you up

F I COULD pick two questions that no one would ever be allowed to ask me again, they would be – What’s Up and What’s New. I mean, I’m a stay-at-home mom of a hyperactive five year old and I write between interruptions and things flying over my head – what do you think is up (the decapitated doll or a precious gadget)? As for the What’s New question (both questions, actually) – I find that it’s the single people who keep asking me that. I ask them what could have possibly changed in a couple of days or a week – since we spoke – and they go ‘Oh well, you’d have to be single and out on the town to know’ or some such thing. I defensively retort ‘But I am single’ and they go ‘Right, but you’re not single single.’ Oh. Just when I thought getting left out of the cool circles ended with high school. What am I supposed to do now? Join the flashmobbers? It seems to be all the rage these days. Maybe I should get out there (some place where the paparazzi is) and randomly dance (solo) till the cops drive me out with a lathi. I’d be popular in no time. Also, people would fanatically circulate my Youtube clip adding such things as ‘Crazzzzyyyy chick’ and ‘Heheheeeeee’ and I’d be sorted. And like everybody else on Facebook, I’d finally be able to add ‘Living life to the fullest’ on my bio. That should teach the single single people for not granting me admission into their seemingly exclusive club. Turns out, I’m wrong. That’s not

by Judy Balan

Illustration: MALAY KARMAKAR

what they’re saying at all. What they mean is – You can hang out with us but you have to forget all parental responsibilities while so doing or it could get in the way of all the fun. I get it – parents (well, mothers mostly) as a group, have

earned notoriety for being obsessive-compulsive worriers who can’t enjoy even the extremely rare night-out with friends without making panic calls home to check on what the children are eating, if they’ve been tucked in bed and

What kind of mother stuffs her face with Death by Chocolate while her hungry, angelic kindergartener watches on? MARCH 18, 2012

even sneaking in an I-miss-you call or two when no one’s looking. I know, it can be a bit much. I make it a point not to do it when I’m out with friends – after all, my parents do a splendid job with the offspring so it’s not like I’m abandoning her with the babysitter from hell. So I even manage to have a great time staying out late, guzzling questionable quantities of tequila – all the while taking care not to bring up the child, home or parenting in conversation. And suddenly – when it’s respectably late (a bit after one in the night) – it feels like I’ve even convinced them, you know? I’ve stayed out late without doing the annoying mom thing. It’s a special moment for me because I’m now about to be anointed single single. And just as I begin hearing the coronation music in my head, someone decides it would be a good idea to have dessert. One look at that piece of Death by Chocolate and the music (in my head) comes to an abrupt halt. I have a vision of the five-year-old hungry for chocolate cake. And as all people in visions, she’s dressed like an angel and standing on a cloud. I immediately feel a tangible pang of guilt – what kind of mother stuffs her face with Death by Chocolate while her hungry, angelic kindergartener watches on? Oh, I’m no mom. I’m more like the evil step-mother. It’s only a piece of chocolate cake and there’s nothing rational about how I’m feeling but procreation (and The Brothers Grimm) does mess you up – it’s like you’re no longer allowed to enjoy chocolate, animated movies, dipping your feet in a pool or toratora rides unless you are accompanied by the child in question. Sigh. I can’t keep up – being a parent and being single single are both full time occupations – it seems. I give up – I’m done living two separate lives. What I need is The One – except, I have no idea how to find him given that I’m mostly stuck indoors. Maybe the next time some single type calls and asks me ‘What’s uuuuuup’ and ‘What’s new’, I’ll just put on my scary spinster voice and say ‘I’m looking for The One’. That should shut him up. Judy Balan is the best-selling author of Two Fates —The Story Of My Divorce

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Where No Man Has Gone Before...

Photo: RAJ K RAJ, LOCATION: Q'BA, CONNAUGHT PLACE, DELHI, MODELS: DEV AND ASHWARYA

…And done what women did before, that is, ventured into the kitchen to cook and serve food by Parul Khanna Tewari

FEW WEEKS ago, on a nippy winter night at a friend’s place, around 10 of my buddies and I were indulging in the happy mix of great alcohol, good appetisers and enjoyable conversation that is a staple of fun weekends – when the tenor of the evening abruptly changed. The host brought out the star of the party – a pahari mutton dish he had cooked himself – and a few minutes later, I noticed two very different reactions to the food. While the women all served themselves and moved back to resume their interrupted conversations, the men stood around congratulating the cook, trying to dig into the dish to guess the ingredients, suggesting modifications and requesting for the recipe. And I thought to myself, what’s happening here? When did men start to love to cook? And when did women lose interest?

THE INCREASING TRIBE

Look around you. Chances are, you’ll find this happens more often than you think. While men from previous generations prided themselves for not being able to even boil water, today their urban counter-

parts are not just turning on the gas, but cutting, dicing and slicing their way to culinary heaven – from making quick staples for dinner to elaborate meals, to exotic dishes from the last foreign country they visited. Vicky Ratnani, head chef of fine dining restaurant Aurus in Mumbai, who also hosts Gourmet Central on NDTV Good Times, agrees. “At a recent cooking workshop that I hosted, nine out of 25 participants were men – guys who had busy lives and high-pressure careers – but were taking time off to learn the skill,” reveals Ratnani. And what about the women? Well, most seem to enjoy spending time away from the kitchen. Quite a few of them, especially between the ages of 20 to 30, don’t know how to cook at all. And even if they do, chances are that they have too much on their plates and hence little or no desire to slave away in the kitchen. “Given a choice, I would not cook, I’d rather use my time to manage the

A GREAT WAY TO BOND

Relationship experts say that a couple that cooks together stays together house well, juggle the demands of my career, look after the overall needs of my husband and maintain a social life,” says Indra Desai, a 35year-old corporate lawyer. Most urban career-minded women are increasingly delegating daily cooking chores to the domestic help. And most of their partners are okay with the arrangement. Abhishek Singh, a 20-something business consultant, loves trying out new recipes. He picked up the nuances of cooking while in college when he stayed as a paying guest. Now married, he has no issues with the fact that his wife doesn’t know how to cook. Says Singh, “She will learn. Cooking together will be a great bonding exercise.” This is a departure from the days when prospective grooms could never imagine a homemaker who didn’t know how to rustle up a

‘I realised my wife wasn’t interested in learning newer cuisines, so I started cooking’

MARCH 18, 2012

delicious, hot meal. So now, the old proverb ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ should actually read: the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. The tables have turned, and how.

WOMEN DESERT THE KITCHEN

When it comes to cooking, chances are your family fits into one of these three categories: 1. The woman is still the only one who is cooking. 2. The woman knows how to cook but doesn’t; the domestic help does. 3. The woman, the domestic help and the man cook in turns. Now, a new category appears to have emerged: The woman cannot/does not want to cook, but the man does, often with the domestic help as a back-up. The reasons for this change are a shift in attitudes. As we all know by now, women are now working long hours in offices. They have a space beyond the kitchen to feel ‘acknowledged.’ According to lifestyle management expert Rachna K Singh, chauvinism is giving way to sensitivity. “Our society is evolving and that means an equal division of chores

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■ Lure him into the kitchen with interesting promises and make him watch all the food shows that show men cooking. He is bound to get inspired and start cooking. ■ Tell him your friends say that couples cooking together is a great bonding exercise (it really is). That should get him into the kitchen. Make it fun for him by looking for recipes that he likes. ■ Get him into the ‘masculine’ spirit of things, with recipes that have beer, vodka, brandy and wine as ingredients. And gift him cookbooks written by men. ■ Whatever you do, don’t criticise his food. Shower him with so many compliments, he wouldn’t have a reason to stop trying. Drop hints later on about how he could improve. ■ Turn the kitchen into his den. Have things that he loves around him – the iPod with his favourite music and a mini bar. ■ Select recipes that take minimal time. He won’t be able to excuse himself saying that they are complicated. ■ Make sure you praise him in front of everyone. Especially in front of his mother. It will get tough for him to back out then. ■ If nothing else gets him into the mood, do what British chef Jamie Oliver suggests: withhold sex until he starts cooking.

between the genders, one of which is cooking. This happened in the West a long time ago,” explains Singh. We are living in the age of cooking democracy, she adds. “Some women were never taught to cook by their mothers – no family recipes handed down – so they don’t know where to begin. Others don’t trust their cooking abilities enough to feed their spouse, and some others want their men to cook for them.” And why is it that women are not enjoying the process of cooking as much as before? To begin with, did they really enjoy it? “Ask your mothers. A lot of them wouldn’t really have enjoyed cooking but were forced to. Now that women have all the freedom, they’ll cook only if required,” says Dr Syed Mubin Zehra, social analyst and author of Sexual and Gender Representations In Mughal India.

THE MEN ARE LOVING IT

The men who like to cook also love talking about it, says Sunil Tickoo, CEO, WG Hospitality, (who was helpful for our shoot at Q’BA Restaurant and Bar in Delhi as always), who loves putting together burgers and other dishes for his children. Back in office, a usually aloof colleague unleashes a long monologue about his fascination with baking, which began at the age of 14 by watching his aunt churn out brownies by the kilo. Now, he gets up at the crack of dawn to bake if he has someone coming over, and has specific knives, pans and other cooking equipment that no one, except him, is allowed to use. Model Aman Singh goes a step further saying he is a kitchen Nazi who has to be in control. So yes, men can not only boil water now; they can do much more!

Men who cook are hot. Any man in sync with his feminine side is attractive, like a man with a baby

Is he a glutton or a gourmet?

T TAKES all kinds of men to make their maiden forays into virgin territory: the kitchen. Here’s how to recognise one species from the other:

ingredients to make food to impress women. They would often flip. Food is a sensory thing. And it is very romantic – laying the table, putting together a dish and then tasting it together. Also, the first bite (exploring the flavours) is like having an orgasm.” Khan’s love of cooking has continued. Whenever he’s in India, he whips up special rice or gosht and loves to contrast textures. What is it that makes a man who cooks so attractive? Any man in sync with his feminine side is attractive, like a man with a baby, explains Rachna K Singh. “A man who cooks seems like someone who is sensitive and compassionate. He has evolved.” Advertising professional Rita Jha, 28, agrees. “Men can fix a car and build a campfire. Shouldn’t they know how to feed you without ordering in food? That says a lot about their life skills. We think ‘this guy is going to ease our burden when we are together’.” Also, most women find the idea of a man understanding spices, playing with them, and then finally sampling the mix (yes, the same way Aaron Eckhart dips his finger and tastes food straight from the pan in the movie No Reservations) sensual. “He seems like he’ll be good in bed. Most times, it is true,” winks Jha.

THOSE WHO LOVE TO COOK. PERIOD

Like model-turned actor and now TV host (Chakh Le - India) Aditya Bal who got into the kitchen and began to cook out of boredom and frustration (his film career wasn’t taking off). Bal cooks every day. Though he admits it can get monotonous, experimentation keeps him going. He can easily cook for 25 to 30 people (maybe with just one helper) and has had 80 people over for an ‘only biryani’ meal.

THOSE WHO PLAN IN ADVANCE AND EXECUTE

Unlike a majority of women, for whom making food is a chore that needs to be done in the minimum possible time, for these men it is all about the fanfare and planning. “After carefully drafting out a menu, I start getting the ingredients from the vendor. A day before, I keep most basic things ready so that on the night of the party, I just have to throw everything in,” says Bal. He doesn’t go by the book and aims to keep getting better at the art of cooking.

THOSE WHO COOK TO IMPRESS THEIR WOMEN

Men who cook are hot. Nobody’s contesting that. A man who cooks for you on a date has already won you over halfway through. That’s why even in Bollywood movies, a lot of male characters now don aprons and are seen cooking vigorously to hook the ladies. Hrithik Roshan did it for Katrina Kaif in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, and Imran Khan served a plateful to Deepika Padukone in Break Ke Baad. And that’s how actor and now TV host Aly Khan (who hosts Foodistan on NDTV Good Times) started to cook. “I was in England for my studies and my mother would get masalas when she would visit. I used the MEN ENJOY BEING NURTURERS

Most men interviewed said that the most satisfying part of the process was acknowledgement from their partner

Photos: RAJ K RAJ, LOCATION: Q'BA, CONNAUGHT PLACE, DELHI, AMAN AND HENA, MODELS’ COURTESY: GLITZ

HOW TO HOOK YOUR GUY TO COOK

“Why does a man kill? He kills for food. And not only food, frequently there must be a beverage” – Woody Allen, filmmaker MARCH 18, 2012

C OV E R STO RY

For many men, cooking is therapeutic and is done when they have spare time THOSE WHO SAVOUR THE FLAVOUR AND CREATE IT

A lot of men learn cooking because of sheer necessity. They live away from home on their own and start cooking for practical reasons. Consultant Abhishek Singh, for instance, began to cook when his sister and he were staying away from their parents. “I wanted to have good food. Eating out costs money. So I started to learn Continental and Chinese (that I love). I started to mix and match flavours and seasonings and come up with newer dishes. As a result, my cooking has become spontaneous and experimental”. Unlike Singh, other men begin wielding knife and skillet because they feel they can beat their female partners at their own game. Engineer Ajay Malhotra, 34, for instance, began to cook, when he got bored of the staple dal-chawal and the ‘special’ butter chicken his wife fed him. “My wife also works and I realised she isn’t that interested in experimenting or learning newer cuisines, so I started cooking and realised I was good at it.”

THOSE WHO COOK ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS

Some men only like cooking for parties. Or Sunday breakfast. Others cook fancy stuff – meat or crab or whatever’s the flavour of the season. Cooking is therapeutic and is done when they have spare time. With beer in hand, friends or family for company, and a special occasion to celebrate. Chef Vicky Ratnani says, “Lots of my friends are holiday cooks. They end up taking one to two day workshops on local cuisine when they are abroad.” Actor Aly Khan, too, has a lot of holiday cooks as friends. “When we meet in London or Dubai, we hang out in the kitchen and bond over cooking,” he says. Disclaimer: If the article seems a little skewed, it could be because the writer is a woman who doesn’t want to ever cook. parul.khanna@hindustantimes.com

twitter.com/HTBrunch

AWESOME TWOSOME

Ehsaan (right) says cooking is like making music; Gaurav says he’s like Genghis Khan in the kitchen Photo: NATASHA HEMRAJANI, LOCATION: DRAGONFLY AND VONG WONG, MUMBAI

WHY DO MEN LOVE COOKING? ■ Cooking has become a ‘hobby’ for most men. Because they do not have to cook, they choose to cook. ■ Men find it relaxing and gentle. A kitchen is not a place they are expected to be in and hence it becomes their comfort zone. There are no expectations and they are not being judged (women/wives are only too happy to see them in the kitchen). ■ It may sound clichéd but men need results. Cooking is productive. Someone eventually ends up eating and that is satisfying. ■ Cooking is all-involving. It invokes all the senses of a person. ■ The person cooking has total control. To see something from inception to conclusion is more satisfying than a lot of work in office. It is also creative. Men can steer things their way and that’s why they want to chop, cook and garnish everything themselves. A lot of them don’t like the wife to interfere too much. ■ Cooking has immediate benefits: All the men interviewed for the story said that the part they loved most about the process was when people enjoyed eating the food they had cooked. There is nothing more satisfying than that. ■ With male chefs on TV channels, cooking has become macho. ■ Men love to experiment and they can be adventurous in the kitchen. Not many cook by the book. ■ To get some action.

Celeb cooking confessions

J-ACTOR Gaurav Kapoor and composer-guitarist Ehsaan Noorani are from the ‘I love to be in the kitchen’ tribe. Gaurav says he’s a ‘spatula wielding jedi’ in the kitchen. And Ehsaan ‘makes the meanest porridge and lays the most impeccable table.’ They got chatting at Thai and Chinese restaurant Dragonfly and Vong Wong, Mumbai.

When did you start to cook? Gaurav: I started pottering around

in the kitchen as soon I could reach up to the gas stove. Ehsaan: If making tea counts, then in America as a student! Later I managed instant noodles and the odd edible omelette. Your first kitchen memory… Gaurav: Put water on boil to check

evaporation and went out to play. Mum went in after an hour and began to shriek. Ehsaan: I used to help my aunt Parvana wash dishes. She said the woman in my life will thank her. You favourite part about cooking? Gaurav: The confluence of flavours

and ingredients. Ehsaan: That the most basic ingredients in the right combination can create such complex and incredible dishes as well as huge disasters! Exactly like making music. Your favourite cooking instrument? Gaurav: A sharp knife. Also works

well if people don’t like your food.

Ehsaan: I’d have to say the ladle. Cooking is... Gaurav: Peaceful. Ehsaan: Cathartic. The most and least time you’ve taken? Gaurav: 90 minutes for a chicken

recipe my mum gave me. Ehsaan: I take ages to make tea. But I cook porridge quickly and am fast at pouring milk into cornflakes. Do you dominate in the kitchen? Gaurav: I’m like Genghis Khan, my

knife is my sword.

Ehsaan: I’m just glad I’m not

burning and breaking things!

Does a man cooking attract women? Gaurav: Sure does (winks). Ehsaan: My cooking hasn’t

attracted any woman! Even if it did, the moment she probably tasted the dish, that attraction vanished!

What if your woman can’t cook? Gaurav: It’s absolutely fine. Ehsaan: Doesn’t make her less

attractive.

Would you rather be in the bedroom or the kitchen… Gaurav: Anywhere, as long as it’s

steaming.

Ehsaan: Multi-tasking. A word on vegetarian cooking. Gaurav: I was dating a beautiful girl,

who was also a chef and a vegetarian. It was heaven on a plate. Ehsaan: It’s tough. There’s a fine line between raw and cooked vegetables though mine are always raw.

“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook” – Julia Child, American chef, writer and TV host MARCH 18, 2012

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As speculation emerges that Osama bin Laden may have been betrayed by his first wife, that old saying seems to be re-validated

GREAT BETRAYAL

The Bin Laden clan believes his first wife Khairiah Sabar was jealous of his Yemeniborn, much younger new wife

VERY FILMI

The 1996 hit The First Wives Club featured three women dumped by their husbands who decide on revenge

FIGHT CLUB

When Elin Nordegren found out about Tiger Woods’ posse of mistresses, she chased his car down, golf club in hand

Seema Goswami

N 1697, the English author William Congreve wrote a poem called The Mourning Bride which ended with the following lines: ‘Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d. Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.’ More than 400 years later, these words still carry a angry resonance as speculation rages that Osama bin Laden was tracked down not by brilliant spy work by the CIA but because his first wife Khairiah Sabar betrayed his location. Apparently Sabar, Bin Laden’s first wife, a Saudi woman now in her 60s, fetched up at the Abbottabad complex sometime in February or March 2011. When challenged by one of Osama’s sons as to why she had come back after such a long time, she replied enigmatically, “I have one more duty to discharge for my husband.” The extended Bin Laden clan now believes that it was Sabar who betrayed him by leading the CIA forces to his door. And all because she was jealous of Osama’s latest wife, the Yemeni-born, much younger Amal Ahmed Abdel-Fatah al-Sada with whom Bin Laden shared a bed (while Sabar slept alone in a bedroom on another floor). So, there’s a lesson for you. While the entire might of the US army and the all-seeing eye of the CIA could not bring about Osama bin Laden’s downfall for well on a decade, his scorned wife managed to do so in a matter of months. For readers of a certain age, this will bring back memories of that 1996 Hollywood hit, The First Wives Club, starring Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler and Diane Keaton. The three women are dumped by their husbands for younger models and decide on revenge: by taking their husbands for everything they have. As yet another infamous first wife, Ivana Trump (married to ‘The Donald’), putting in a cameo appearance in the movie, says, “Don’t get mad; get everything.” But, of course, that is easier said than done. First wives do tend to get mad – and sometimes very mad indeed. As one man found out the hard way when he left his wife and moved out of the family home. When he came back to collect his things, he discovered that she had cut off the right sleeve of each one of his Savile Row suits. Yet another ex-wife crept into her exhusband’s house and sewed up prawns in his curtain hems (yes, you really can’t get more bonkers than that). Others take an even more direct approach. Remember Elin Nordegren, MARCH 18, 2012

Photos: REUTERS

HELL HATH NO FURY...

Heather Mills suggested that former Beatle Paul McCartney had been physically abusive towards her in the course of their marriage

spectator

Tiger Woods’ ex-wife? When she found out about his posse of mistresses, she chased his car down, golf club in hand and bashed the windscreen in. (Tiger later gallantly insisted that his wife had been unfairly maligned – to widespread scepticism in the media.) And then, there are the women who wait for years, even decades, on end, before trying to extract a horrible revenge for the humiliation heaped on them. In the UK, Chris Huhne had to resign from David Cameron’s Cabinet when his ex-wife, Vicky Pryce, recently revealed that in 2003 he had prevailed upon her to take some penalty points he had incurred while speeding on her own driving licence. But in an ironic twist, Vicky found herself charged alongside her husband for trying to ‘pervert the course of justice’. Across the Atlantic, Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich found himself in the ex-wife trap on the eve of an important primary when his second wife, Marianne, crawled out of the woodwork to announce that he had asked her for an ‘open marriage’ in the last years of their relationship. Not exactly the kind of thing that a candidate hoping to make headway in the puritanical heartland of America wants to hear, right? And sure enough, since then Newt’s appeal among women voters has gone down sharply. Heather Mills tried a similar smear campaign when Paul McCartney asked her for a divorce, suggesting that the former Beatle had been physically abusive towards her in the course of their marriage. But such was the goodwill towards McCartney that nobody paid the slightest attention to these allegations. No wonder then that when Mills scored a paltry 25 million pounds (yes, you read that right: 25 million pounds) in her divorce settlement, she showed her displeasure by pouring a jug of water over McCartney’s attorney, Fiona Shackleton, in a classic case of misdirected anger. That’s not to say that men don’t behave badly in the aftermath of a marriage, but their acting out mostly takes the form of retaining a tight control over joint resources while women fall back on restricting access to the children – in other words, each party plays to their strengths. And yet, sadly, both sides lose as a consequence. So, perhaps the best revenge for a scorned woman is not to get mad or even get everything – but to just get on with it. Move on with your life, rebuild the torn corners of your world and wrestle some happiness out of it. Because more often than not, living well is the best revenge of all. seema_ht@rediffmail.com. Follow Seema on Twitter at twitter.com/seemagoswami

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THE NOSE KNOWS We sometimes underestimate how important aroma is to the shaping of an experience

SCENT OF LUXURY

A deluxe public space should not just look good, it should also smell good

THAI FACTOR

If you smelt lemon grass, something inside your head would whisper ‘Thai restaurant’ BLAST FROM THE PAST

If you smelt real sandalwood you would immediately think of India in all its ancient glory

Vir Sanghvi

rude hotels

RE THERE times when you walk into the lobby of a deluxe hotel, escaping from the sticky heat of a summer afternoon, and as the first blast of cool air hits your sweaty face say to yourself, ‘This is the cool smell of luxury.’? Or, do you ever find yourself distracted when you are in a supermarket and the warm smell of freshly-baked bread wafts past your nose? Doesn’t it make you hungry and send you racing to the bakery counter? Or have you ever stepped into a luxury sedan at a car showroom, smelt the richness of the leather seats and recognised that this is the smell of how the other half lives? Well, I’ve got news for you. In every single case, you were being manipulated. The coolly-sophisticated smell that you get in a hotel lobby is not the scent of luxury. It is usually some synthetic molecule that they have pumped through the air-conditioning system. The supermarket does not bake bread on the premises. It merely releases the aroma of baking bread into the store. And leather doesn’t really smell the way we think it does. Car companies fragrance the interiors of expensive cars with bogus leather scents. Because most of us don’t really spend our time in large supermarkets or car showrooms, we are most likely to encounter aroma manipulation when we visit hotels or restaurants. There was a time when only avant-garde hotels bothered to fragrance the air. These days everybody does it. Some foreign chains even have strict regulations about the fragrances that can be used in their hotels. And specialists in the field will tell you what a Hilton smell is or what a W hotel is expected to smell like. Many people get agitated about the ambient fragrances used by hotels. My attitude is different. You can view the fragrancing of public spaces in two ways. Either you see it as marketing manipulation (which it clearly is in the case of superMARCH 18, 2012

markets or car interiors) or you see it as a part of design. I incline to the latter view. When a hotel lobby is designed, a lot of attention is paid to the architecture, the furniture, the carpets, the colour of the walls, the temperature to which the air-conditioning is set and even the muzak that is piped into the space. Why should fragrance be any different? If design is meant to provide a pleasant sensory experience, then why should you ignore smell? A deluxe public space should not just look good, it should also smell good. At some intuitive level, we recognise this in the way we scent our own homes and offices. Why else would there be such a boom in the sale of aromatic candles? Why else is ambient perfume such a large part of the total fragrance market? We have become more sensitive to smells than we were before and we accept that aromas can subtly set the tone or alter an environment. My problem is that hotels don’t always recognise the distinction between using fragrance as a design tool and spraying a lobby as a means of mindless marketing manipulation. My colleague Nandini Iyer loves fragrance but is also allergic to strong smells which give her terrible headaches. She says she now thinks twice before entering hotel lobbies and has pin-pointed the ones that cause her the most problems. For instance, she says, that each time she goes to the Chanel shop at the Imperial hotel to try the fragrances, she has to hold her breath so that she is not felled by the Imperial’s ambient fragrance. Nandini has a list of such trouble spots, of places she has to avoid because the fragrances are either too strong or too disgusting – or because though they are neither disgusting nor strong, they set off some reaction in her body’s immune system. I asked her to call Delhi hotels and find out what fragrances they were using. She called the Imperial and asked the lobby manager what the fragrance was. They told her that the Imperial used jasmine oil in vaporisers and said that people loved the smell and that there had never been any complaints. Except her, or so

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it would seem, because she insisted that the smell reminded her of a dangerously-sharp chameli ittar. Nandini called other hotels and got varying responses. The Hyatt Regency told her that they used no fragrance. The Shangrila said they used lemon grass agarbattis, Claridges used jasmine and lavender diffuser lamps and the Ashoka sprayed jasmine room freshener out of a can in the public areas. I don’t know how much truth there was in the responses that Nandini elicited from hotel lobby managers. But generally, what happens is this: hotels all over the world buy ambient fragrances from industrial manufacturers and pump them through the airconditioning. Some take trouble to vary the fragrance that is used depending on time of year or time of day. But most do it mindlessly. Just as no great thought goes into the muzak at most Indian hotels, so the fragrancing is also pretty mindless. Fragrance experts say that one clear distinction between aroma as a tool of manipulation and a design element is a visible source. I asked Paul Austin, an Australian perfumer who now runs his own consultancy in New York but is also an expert on traditional Indian fragrances, how he would fragrance a hotel if he was given the task. Austin’s response was that he would always make sure that the source of the aroma was visible. It could be candles, incense sticks or diffusers but guests should always know what they are smelling. There is no secret to design, he said. And fragrance should be out there in the open. It’s when you start wafting it secretly into the room that you wander into the area of manipulation. Austin says that India has a much longer tradition of ambient perfuming

It could be candles, incense sticks or diffusers but guests should always know what they are smelling

than the West. We were the ones to first use vetiver as an ambient fragrance in room coolers, chatais and window blinds. Agarbattis are an integral part of the Indian tradition. Even today, you will find people putting a garland of flowers over an air-conditioning vent or a fan so that a floral fragrance fills the room. Why then should we treat ambient perfume as something new or even alien to our way of life? I asked Priya Paul, who runs the Park chain of boutique design hotels and is into fragrance herself, what she did at her hotels. Priya says she uses traditional odours like agarbattis or incense sticks and makes sure that they are easily visible should anybody want to find out where the smell is coming from. It has been suggested to her that her hotels also pump fragrance through the air-conditioning but she has resolutely refused to do so for precisely the sorts of reasons that Austin had given. All this may seem like a lot of fuss over a small thing. But we sometimes underestimate how important aroma is to the shaping of an experience. For instance, if you smelt lemon grass, something inside your head would whisper ‘Thai restaurant’ at once. If the lemon grass was combined with one or two other aromas (say, bergamot or lavender) you would think ‘spa’. And if you smelt the rich fragrance of real sandalwood you would immediately think of India in all its ancient glory. There are more modern equivalents. Vanilla is the secure smell of childhood innocence because it awakens memories of icecream consumed as a child. Coffee is the smell of waking up and moving on. (Hence the cliché, ‘Wake up and smell the coffee’.) Cardamom is the smell of Kerala. And khus triggers memories of cool spring afternoons on the porch of your house. Mix up the smells and the experience changes. The first time I went to Le Cirque at Delhi’s Leela Palace, it smelt wrong. I worked out what the problem was. They were using a lemongrassy fragrance more suited to a Thai restaurant or a spa. I don’t know what they’ve done now but the restaurant smells of vanilla, leather and all the other aromas you would associate with a place of that calibre. At the ITC Mughal in Agra, they elevate a simple banal ritual with the addition of fragrance: the hot water in the fingerbowl is scented with warm vanilla. (This comes as a surprise because we always associate fingerbowls with the citrus-clean smell of lemon.) Alas, other Indian hotels are not so imaginative when it comes to the use of fragrance. I have stayed in hotel rooms where the housekeeping staff has left the room stinking of some disgusting synthetic air freshener that has clung to my luggage for days afterwards. As much as possible, I try and control my fragrance environment by carrying my own candles and using my own fragrances. Sometimes hotels get the message. Sometimes they don’t. One Bombay hotel that I regularly stay at puts an unfragranced tealight in my room because somebody has worked out that I light a candle but has not realised that I do it for the fragrance. On the other hand, when I stayed at the Oberoi in Bombay last week, housekeeping saw that I was using a fragranced candle and quickly provided some of their own the very next day. Fortunately, not all of us are as allergic to fragrances as my colleague Nandini Iyer is. But until hotels get their fragrancing right, it might be a good idea to carry your own fragrance materials and to select your own aromas. After all, you wouldn’t use the hotel’s aftershave or perfume. You would use your own. So, just as you control how your body smells, you should also decide how you want your immediate environment fragranced. MARCH 18, 2012

GET UP AND GO!

Coffee is the smell of waking up and moving on

PURE BLISS

Vanilla is the secure smell of childhood innocence because it awakens memories of ice-cream

TRIP DOWN SOUTH

Cardamom is the smell of Kerala

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NEW IPAD: TO BUY OR NOT TO BUY Five reasons to take the plunge, and five reasons to hold back. Plus, check out the competition

Rajiv Makhni

T’S OUT, it’s called just the iPad (unfortunate), the pre-orders response is ‘off the charts’, it’s going to sell in the millions, it’s quite a piece of hardware and the world awaits release dates in their country. But far more than the specs, features and the looks – the water is muddied with some really tough questions. Was the new iPad worth the wait? Is the retina screen enough to make this the next big thing? Is this an essential purchase? What if you have an iPad 1 or 2 – should you buy it then? What if you have some other Tablet, is the new iPad compelling enough to jump ship? Is the reduced price iPad 2 the better bang for one’s buck? What’s the biggest competition to the iPad now, and most importantly – should you get one right now from the US?

TOP 5 REASONS TO BUY

Movies, photos, ebooks will all look like they’ve been painted onto the iPad screen

techilicious

RADICAL RETINA: The retina screen is a very big deal. Very! It’s at a stunning and unprecedented resolution of 2048 x 1536 with 3.1 million pixels (that’s a million more than your high def TV). Movies, photos, browsing, ebooks will all look like they’ve been painstakingly painted onto the screen. A Tablet is mostly a content consumption device and that’s done mainly through the screen. If the most important element has surpassed everything else the market has to offer – then it’s a major deal maker.

QUAD QUAGMIRE: Apple uses superlatives quite liberally in most of their product announcements. Which can sometimes lead to extreme confusion. It referred to

its new processor as having quad-core graphics and repeatedly bench-marked themselves to be 4 (quad) times faster than the NVIDIA Tegra 3 (which is a quad core chip). This leads to a complete quad-core quagmire. The processor is an A5X, which is dual core, but the graphics do run at quad-core and suffice to say this is a Tablet all ready for anything anyone can throw at it. Smooth, blazing fast performance now and in the future is guaranteed.

GAMING CONSOLE ELIMINATOR: It’s got the most incredible screen for gaming, it’s got horsepower inside equivalent to a PS3 and a XBOX 360, it’s got a graphic chip that can do magic. Imagine gaming on this little beauty. Now take that imagination further. The announcement of a Bluetooth controller has happened and rumours of a wireless connector to an HDTV are up in the air. That would make the new iPad a portable gaming system and a full gaming console. NO SIRI BUT STILL: There are many conspiracy theories around why Siri isn’t on the new iPad. From those that claim this is to push iPhone sales (Want Siri – get it only on the iPhone), to overloaded servers (too many users of Siri already) to commission grabbing from service providers (most people will use Siri on iPad with WiFi but Siri on iPhone with a data connection). Whatever the reason – don’t forget that the new iPad has dictation, and from early reports, it’s the first time that simple straightforward easy dictation works every single time. That’s a biggie! YOU DON’T OWN A TABLET / HAVE AN IPAD 1: If you have an iPad 1 and were waiting it out over the iPad 2, get the new iPad – it’ll run circles around the first one. If you don’t own a Tablet at all – get the new iPad – it’s your reward for sitting on the fence on Tablets till now – and you won’t get a better start.

TOP 5 REASONS NOT TO BUY

THE CANNOT CAMERA: The pictures on that retina screen will look good. The back camera is now 5 megapixels, has auto face-detection, auto focus lock and image stabilisation for 1080p video. All good! It’s just that you’ll feel like a complete prat holding up an iPad to take pictures. Apple should have given a state-of-the-art camera on the front instead of the back and made this the first HD video conferencing system in a box. Now that would have been revolutionary. MARCH 18, 2012

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TOP 5 NEW IPAD COMPETITORS

The new iPad looks the same as an iPad 2 and comes in the same two colours. So, your bragging rights are done for

WIRELESS WONDER: The new iPad has more wireless bands than any other device and the most exciting is the 4G LTE. This can whiz at speeds upto 73mbps and you can also use the new iPad as a Personal Hotspot. Great. Except we aren’t anywhere near 4G in India to take advantage of any of this, and even 3G carries on being frightfully expensive. Also picking up an iPad from the US may bring some LTE issues when in India; as the first lots are rumoured to work only in North America. So 4G and LTE on your brand new iPad may well be a disincentive for now.

THE LOOK: It looks just the same as an iPad 2 (a little thicker and heavier) and comes in the same two colours. Thus your instant bragging rights are pretty much done for. Nobody on sight is going to come running up to you and ask in a breathless gushy whisper, “Is that the new iPad”? And for many that may well be the biggest deal breaker of them all. If you can’t chest-thump about your new iPad, then what is life all about? THE COMPETITION: The world has changed since the iPad 1 and 2 were released. At that time it was a one horse race – now the competition has tasted success and is hungry for more. From smaller sizes, more portable machines, aggressive pricing, amazing hybrid designs, 18 to 20 hour battery life, stainless steel brushed finish, side-by-side apps being opened on the same screen and copy paste between the two apps and a device that can do duty as a phone, Tablet and Notebook – the competition is on absolute fire. See the Top 5 competitors (check out the box). YOU OWN AN IPAD 2: Wait it out. It’s always best to skip one generation of Apple products and the yearly cycle of upgrades means you’re just a year away from the new ‘New iPad’. While the new iPad has a lot – it just doesn’t have enough for you to trash your iPad 2. And to those who think the iPad 2 is the best bang for your buck, that’s hogwash! Put in the extra R5,000 and get the new iPad. 5K isn’t worth losing out on so many great new features.

KINDLE FIRE: Having sold nearly 6 million tablets in the fourth quarter of 2011, Amazon’s Kindle Fire is a force to be reckoned with. The 7-incher has a price and size advantage and the eco system that has been built around this $199 device is formidable. If just a little bit of browsing, reading an ebook, playing a game and watching a movie is all you need a Tablet for – then the Fire is king. And now we hear the Kindle Fire 2 is around the corner

ASUS TRANSFORMER AND PADFONE: Asus Transformer is an Ultrabook and a Tablet that has literally rewritten the rules of ergonomics and form factor. It truly shines as a Tablet and completely outwits the competition when docked as a Notebook. The battery life itself is jaw dropping. The Padfone, on the other hand, is a phone docked in a Tablet that transforms to a Notebook and has a stylus that does double duty as a full mobile phone. And while I found the whole idea a little fiddly – most people are super excited about the concept. Beautiful form factors are the extra bonus on these two. Then there’s the no compromise quad core 7-inch budget wonder coming up from Asus called the Memo. The price – an incredible $249 LENOVO IDEAPAD YOGA: Showcased at CES 2012, the IdeaPad Yoga was a show stealer. True to its name, this Tablet has a 360-degree flip and fold design and is as slim as an Ultrabook. It’s a great idea; the design is smart and takes into consideration almost every weakness that a hybrid has ever displayed before. Heads will turn as the Yoga transforms SAMSUNG NOTE AND NOTE 10.1: Samsung Galaxy Note gives you a big phone and a small Tablet – all rolled into one. That’s where the whole idea of the Phablet and Tabhone (ugly words) was born. For many, the portability of the Note and the fact that you don’t pay two times the money for a Tablet and a phone are enough to call it the best thing ever. And now the Note 10.1 is a Tablet with the S pen magic stylus and it can also do side-by-side apps on the same screen. Plus at the rate Samsung brings in new Tablets – I’m betting a new Note Tablet with a Retina++ screen in less than 90 days WINDOWS 8: Windows 8 lends itself perfectly to hybrids and unique design. And with the all-new Microsoft aggressiveness, watch out for some radical new Tablets and Notebook hybrids to make a high decibel appearance very soon

Rajiv Makhni is managing editor, Technology, NDTV and the anchor of Gadget Guru, Cell Guru and Newsnet 3. Follow Rajiv on Twitter at twitter.com/RajivMakhni

MARCH 18, 2012

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Alabama Shakes is a new band. So new that their first full-length album will be released only this April. It’s called Boys and Girls and I will most definitely be buying it. They had an eponymously titled EP out last year and if you are an enterprising searcher of the Net, you can download a Sanjoy live gig or two. Have you noticed how, I’m 300 Narayan words into this column and I’m so gobsmacked by Alabama Shakes that I have not even begun to talk about the kind of music they play? That’s right. They are indeed a great band. It’s easy to classify Alabama Shakes as purveyors of southern rock. After all, they’re from Alabama. But that would not be entirely on the dot. Theirs is a brand of blues-rock that meets soul, gets rolled and kneaded into a delectable sound and then gets sprayed with some garage rock. That’s right. Brittany Howard and her mates spent their early band years playing covers – they played Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, James Brown and Otis Redding – and the sounds of all of those legendary musicians helped shape and influence what they compose themselves. Some critics have compared Brittany Howard to Janis Joplin. That is unfair. To Howard. Who is far better. Howard has a voice that can be melodious, yet guttural; soulful and ironic; and most of all, one that never fails to make you very, MOVERS AND SHAKERS very happy. On YouTube – till you get hold of Alabama Shakes is a quartet that simply plays two guitars, bass and drums. And I their first album next month – there are a few haven’t heard vocals like front woman and lead guitarist Brittany Howard’s in a long time videos of the Shakes. I’d recommend listening to three songs for starters – You Ain’t Alone, Hold On and I Found You. You’ll most likely like them a lot. Next, you can search for a concert they played at San Francisco’s The Independent on January 26 this year and if you’re lucky download it. By now you’ll be a convert. As I expect will be hundreds of people who watch them at SXSW this year. When they become famous, which they will, do remember that you read about Alabama Shakes here in DC before you heard of them. There are plenty of other bands that will have made heads Y THE time you read this, South by Southwest, arguably turn at SXSW this year but, firstly, I wasn’t there to tell you all Earthy, quick the largest music festival held each year at Austin, Texas, about them, and secondly, this page has a word limit that I have and dripping will be winding down. Thirteen hundred odd bands would to adhere to. But there are two that I must mention. Kishi Bashi have performed at more than 90 venues. And festival-goers – I (like the name? I do too!) is an American-Japanese musician who with soul – envy them all – would have discovered tons of new musicians, makes electro-pop. Don’t scoff. His is a brand of electro-pop that Alabama many of them obscure but many among them that are likely to could make anybody dance joyously. Seriously, I did too and those make ripples in the coming months. For several years now, I have who know me know that I have two left legs. Kishi Bashi you may Shakes had a long-standing objective of making it to the festival and have already heard – perhaps not his solo projects but as part of has me drowning in the non-stop gigs for four consecutive days. I haven’t a pop-psych band that I have mentioned before, Of Montreal. managed to fulfill that objective yet. Sigh! I’m going to pursue the Kishi Bashi trail and try and get more absolutely But the next best thing to being at SXSW, which marks its of his stuff. Last year, he released Room For Dream and this year gobsmacked 20th anniversary this year, is to scour the Net to try and a shorter one called Split 7”. Perfect mood lifters. The third band – and I’m running out of space here – pre-SXSW that I discovdiscover some great bands. I did and found several. But none of ered is called Mr Gnome. They are a duo – them stunned me as much as one called singer and guitarist Nicole Barille and drumAlabama Shakes. The quartet is from Alabama. mer and pianist, Sam Meister. Space psycheThey play basic instruments, nothing fancy. GET UP AND DANCE Kishi Bashi is an delia is how some critics describe the duo’s Two guitars, bass and drums. But there are Americanethereal, unpredictable music and if you want the vocals. I am not really sure how to describe Japanese to be pushed out of your comfort zone, they’re the vocals. I could say they are powerful, dripmusician a good band to reach for. The album I’m curping with soul, earthy, quick and capable of a whose brand rently listening to is especially surreal. It’s called range – from deeply low lows to incredibly high of electro-pop Madness in Miniature and came out last year. highs – that is truly unbelievable. And yet that could make I believe they have five more out since 2005, would not do justice to what Brittany Howard, SPACE RANGERS anybody including a couple of EPs. After Madness, I’m Alabama Shakes’ front woman and guitarist, Mr Gnome plays space psychedelia — dance going to look for those. makes you feel when she sings. I think what ethereal, unpredictable music with would do justice to her vocals is to simply say To give feedback, stream or download the music mentioned in joy that I have not heard anything like this in a MORE ON THE WEB this column, go to http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/ long, long time. hindustantimes.com/brunch download-central, follow argus48 on Twitter

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SHAKEN AND STIRRED BY ALABAMA B

MARCH 18, 2012

MARS AND VENUS

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Love Meter

Has yours dipped after your little bundle of joy came in? Stop fussing over your baby. Concentrate a bit on each other instead by Tavishi Paitandy Rastogi

OLIDAYS, NIGHTS out, drinks and dinners with friends, regular office work, coming home and spending quality time with each other – life was more or less a party for software engineer Neha and her entrepreneur husband Sharad Saxena during the first four years of their marriage. It was a perfect, couldn’t care less, romantic time, till

of course, they decided to have a baby. With their little daughter now, life has definitely became more beautiful but somewhere they miss the carefreeness of it all. And what they miss more is the time they spent with just each other. “Every spare minute out of office is spent with our baby. While it is great fun, we don’t seem to have any life of our own,” rues Neha. “Even the conversations we have are only those related to the baby. From diapers to baby food to more serious ones about investments. Our old endless chats don’t seem important anymore. Rather there are ‘other important things’ to be discussed now,” laughs Sharad. The Saxenas are not the only ones facing the problem of ‘no alone time’, say experts. More and more couples, especially those who live without family support, find themselves in a classic case of ‘a distanced relationship’,” explains marriage counsellor Ratna Bhatt. She adds, “While most couples manage their baby well, what they fail to manage is their own relationship after the baby. In being

available to the baby at all times, they lose out on each other. Here’s how not to fall into this trap: Make your marriage a priority – Don’t make your child an excuse to neglect your partner. “Manage your baby but manage your marriage first,” explains Bhatt. Pamper and indulge your wife – Your child’s mother is your first priority. Be attentive to her needs. Cater to her whims – remember she has gone through hormonal havoc. Don’t be a nag – Not all men can be hands-on. But they really try. So don’t nag them about it. Be appreciative even if all your hubby does is stand behind you trying to calm the baby while you do all the cleaning and changing. At least he is standing there. He can’t do more, knows it, is helpless and still trying to help. So smile. Get a life – Having a baby doesn’t mean you can’t do anything else. Go out for a movie, dinner or brunch. “Even if you take the baby along, do it. It’ll just freshen you up and make you feel normal,” says

psychologist Ruhi Garg. Get back in shape – Come on, making a baby isn’t the last thing in your married life. Get back in shape, do it for your husband and see the possibilities of making another baby soar! The romance and oodles of love are a bonus. Dress up – And this is for both of you. Look good for your partner. Wear the colours or dress or shirt of their choice. Make them feel their opinion matters. Tell the baby – Tell your little one that they have the best mum or that they should be like their dad. “This serves two purposes. It makes the child respect the parent and makes the partner feel appreciated,” says Garg. Touch, feel, love – After years of being together, you don’t need to swear undying desire or make love every day to your partner. But do keep up that loving touch, a simple hug or kiss and a random ‘I love you’ to keep that spark burning. Just say it – Talk to each other. Whatever it may be about. “Random conversations also make a difference. And once in a way, tell your partner how important he/she is. And how your life and your baby’s is incomplete without them,” advises Bhatt. tavishi.rastogi@hindustantimes.com

NEW-FOUND LOVE: ‘WHILE MANDIRA CATERS TO THE BABY, I CONCENTRATE ON HER’ Their relationship is at a never-before high, say actor/TV host Mandira Bedi and director-producer Raj Kaushal. Though the couple’s world revolves around their seven-month-old son Vir, the way they perceive love and romance has also changed HER STORY | MANDIRA BEDI

It’s true that there is no ‘alone time’ any more between Raj and me. The spontaneity and adventure in our lives has gone down by nearly 80 per cent as well. I will think twice before bungee jumping or may be even making a plan for dinner. And on holidays, like a recent one to the USA, we slept in separate rooms and in shifts because our baby took time to acclimatise himself to the new conditions. But, does all that matter so much any more? No! I can also say that most of the time that Raj is home, he spends it with Vir, our little baby. And I am crabby and irritable on days when I don’t get sleep at night because Vir has been restless. But the romance has doubled for us. So what if the conversations are mostly around Vir and his needs? From diapers to the latest thing he did, the definitions of romance have changed. Raj and I now bond at a different level. The fact that he says

‘thank you’ to me every single day for giving him Vir is so romantic. That he doesn’t snap back every time I lose my nerve brings me closer to him, and though he may not be a hands-on dad, the fact that he steps up wonderfully every time he senses that Vir or I need his attention has made me fall in love with him all over again. The fact that Vir looks 99 per cent like Raj and one per cent like me adds to Raj’s charm now!

HIS STORY | RAJ KAUSHAL I think I wanted to be a father from the word go. So yes, this is the most wonderful space that I am in. But I also realise that it is the toughest thing to be. The sense of responsibility towards your child and partner simply doubles.

MARCH 18, 2012

After Vir, I realised it is far more important for me to take care of my partner. How can you ever ignore the mother of your child? I knew that if Mandira was in a happy space, our baby and I will automatically be happier. So, while Mandira caters to the baby, I concentrate on her. I make sure that once in a way, Mandira disconnects. It could be a small dinner out or just time out for herself. It is very important that your own life doesn’t stop. The mother post delivery has to get her hormones back in order and the father has to be around to help. I am not a hands-on father. In fact in India, we are blessed to find help around. But I spend a lot of time with Vir. In fact, Mandira and I spend a lot of time together and have our conversations while we are with Vir. I can give her a complete lowdown of my day while singing a lullaby to him. Mandira has always been working and that makes her happy. I ensured she got back to it by the time Vir was three months old, so that I could be happy!

WELLNESS

Not Just For Cows

PHOTO: MCT

Don’t bin the skin of those fruit and veggies — eating the peel can keep you fighting fit by Kavita Devgan

’VE ALWAYS had what you might call a thing for peels. As kids, my mom always insisted that both my sister and I eat our fruits with the peel – always. It was the same for vegetables: whenever she cooked bottle gourd (lauki), a separate subzi of its skin, usually combined with sprouts or potatoes, was also served at the same meal. Similarly, my mom turned bitter gourd peel into a spicy, tangy dry subzi. And when helping her depod peas, both my sister and I would chew the soft peels along with raw peas. We were a peel-eating family through and through. So as soon as I could, I got on my son’s case. But despite trying for years, nothing seems to work on him. Though I never questioned my mom’s reasoning (‘eat the peels as all of the vitamins are near the surface’ she’d say), I decided to arm myself with some solid information before sitting down to talk to my son. Here’s what I found.

JUST DIG IN 1. Peels are a rich source of dietary fibre, also known as NSP (non-soluble polysaccharides) like hemi-cellulose, pectin and more. These compounds increase the bulk of the food and helps prevent constipation, cut colon cancer risk and help lower serum LDL cholesterol levels 2. Peels universally are low in calories, sugars and fats; and are free from cholesterol 3. They add satiety and help cut down overall food intake (which helps in weight control)

pounds, called polymethoxylated flavones (PMFs), found in these peels, have the potential to lower cholesterol more effectively than some prescription drugs, and without side effects. Apparently the white pulpy inner peels of the oranges contain herperidin (this compound is also present in the fruits’ flesh but in a smaller amount), an antioxidant that besides lowering cholesterol, also helps normalise blood pressure. Orange peels also contain pectin, a natural appetite suppressant that also helps to normalise blood sugar. HOW TO EAT THEM: These studies yielded no clues on how to get used CITRUS FRUITS to the taste of an orange peel. So The logic of eating the peel definitehere’s what you can do – add tiny ly applies to citrus fruits. Research bits of peels as you juice the fruit in done at Purdue University in the a blender; boil them in water and United States, published way back have as orange/lemon in the Journal of PHOTOS: THINKSTOCK Nutrition in 1999, peel tea (it’s great for indicates that the insomnia too); dry monoterpenes in and powder them and citrus fruit, which are add to cakes and the oils that give salads; or just chew oranges and lemons bit by bit – the taste their special smell, will grow on you. may help prevent skin, liver, lung and APPLES stomach cancers. But We all know that the catch is that these apples pack a wallop oils are found mostly of antioxidants in the peel. Plus a (polyphenols), espestudy done in 2004 cially vitamin C, for and published in the healthy skin and Journal of gums. But what is Agricultural and Food really important to Chemistry by US and know is that these Canadian researchers polyphenols are five found that orange and times more prevalent tangerine peels could in the skin than the be better than drugs flesh of the apples. In for lowering cholesa study published in terol. According to the Journal of Agricultural and Food researchers, the com-

Banana peel is an excellent remedy for depression, and protects your retina

MARCH 18, 2012

WASH THEM RIGHT

Select fruits that are fresh, organic and without cuts, blemishes and bruises. Wash them thoroughly in running water to remove surface dust and soil. Place the fruit in a bowl of salt water for 30 minutes and wash again in cold water. This way you make sure any surface insect eggs/larvae are removed. Gently pat dry using a soft cloth.

Chemistry (May 8, 2007), researchers found that the apple peel may account for the lion’s share of the fruits’ anti-cancer and antidisease properties. They analysed the chemical composition of apple peels and identified a group of phytochemicals that work against at least three different types of human cancer cells: breast, colon and liver. HOW TO EAT THEM: Wash apples well to wash off insecticides. Or buy organic fruit.

GRAPES, BERRIES AND GUAVAS

Thankfully, grapes and blueberries are not peeled and eaten. In an article published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry in 2010, a chemist from the US Department of Agriculture (USDA), Wallace H Yokoyama and his coinvestigators, reported that hamsters that were fed blueberryenhanced rations (peels and juice byproducts) had from 22 to 27 per cent lower total plasma cholesterol than hamsters fed rations that did

n’t contain these. And it’s also time to stop discarding guava peels. These peels contain more anti-oxidants (such as anthocyanin pigments) than the pulp or flesh that can potentially fight cancer, ageing, inflammation, and neurological diseases. HOW TO EAT THEM: Chew into guavas whole, that way you won’t be tempted to peel them.

BANANAS

If you are feeling depressed, all you need to do is to peel a banana and eat it. Eat the peel, that is. And you thought that the peel was just fodder for cows and comic situations? Scientists at Taichung’s Chung Shan Medical University in Taiwan claim that banana peel is richer in serotonin (a hormone vital in balancing moods) than the fruit. Low levels of serotonin in the brain are believed to cause depression. The peel also contains lutein, an antioxidant from the carotenoid family, which helps retina cells regenerate. HOW TO EAT THEM: Researchers suggested you boil the peel and drink the water a few times a week during the evening.

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RECIPES TO TRY WATERMELON RIND CHUTNEY Take the white portion of the rind and cube into half inch pieces. In a pan, add the rind cubes (3 cups), ½ cup sugar, ½ cup minced ginger, 1 tbsp green chilli, and garlic each, ½ cup vinegar, ½ cup water, 2-3 crushed black peppercorns and ½ tsp salt. Bring to boil over medium heat and let it simmer for 50 minutes. Keep stirring to dissolve sugar. Now let it cool, transfer into an airtight container and chill for a day to let the flavours settle.

WATERMELONS AND MORE Everyone loves the pink flesh of a watermelon, but how about its rind? Experts say that the white rind contains large amounts of citrulline, an amino acid, is rich in vitamin C, beta carotene, and lycopene and also contains smaller amounts of vitamin A, thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, vitamin B6, calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium and zinc. HOW TO EAT THEM: It obviously doesn’t taste as good as the pink flesh, so maybe you can juice the rind along with the watermelon flesh and add a little sugar. You can blend it with other fruits in a smoothie. But please wash it very very thoroughly to get rid of bacteria, pesticides and dirt. And remember, it is an unfamiliar food, so it might give you an upset tummy. Similarly, pomegranate rind has double the antioxidants as compared to the fruit, but it’s not easily consumed. You could dry it and add to subzis or drink as chai.

ANDHRA CUCUMBER PICKLE Cut cucumber into two halves, de-seed it and cut into small pieces (around 2 cups). Mix 3 tbsp red chilli powder, 3 tbsp mustard powder and 1 ½ tbsp salt. Take a wide vessel, add the spice mixture and chopped pieces. Mix well and slowly add 4 tbsp til or sesame oil and combine with the pieces till well coated. Place cucumber pieces in a ceramic jar, cover with a tight lid and keep in a moisture-free dark area overnight. Next day, mix with a dry clean ladle.

VEGETABLES A popular restaurant in Goa – Souza Lobo, (they have a branch in Delhi), has a dish made of potato peels. Potato peel is loaded with vitamins C and B6, potassium, manganese and copper. Also, avoid peeling radishes as they are rich in allyl isothiocyanates (which give them a peppery pungent flavour) which is an anti-oxidant. Next time you make mooli parantha, simply grate along with the peel. Or eat unpeeled radishes with rock salt. Cucumber peels, besides being very high in fibre, are also a hidden source of beta-carotene, a type of vitamin A, which is fabulous for your eyes. In Andhra Pradesh, people make a tasty and healthy cucumber pickle (see recipe). Kavita Devgan is a Delhi-based nutritionist and writer brunchletters@hindustantimes.com