Brunch 24 november 2013

WEEKLY MAGAZINE, NOVEMBER 24, 2013 Free with your copy of Hindustan Times

4

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

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Front Row

by Shaoli Rudra

BOLLYWOOD, DAFUQ?

The best Bollywood films always leave you with at least one unanswered question. Here’s some popcorn for thought What if Simran had jumped into the closest bogie instead of running half the length of the train to Raj’s outstretched hand?

This is officially Bollywood’s deepest darkest mystery. There should be a reward for coming up with an acceptable answer to this.

What if someone actually weighed Sunny Deol ka haath and found that it was not dhai kilo ka!? Would our understanding of the world and its concepts of measurement change forever??

What would happen if Tuffy aka the white ‘pomerian’ in every Barjatya film was just a normal dog and not some ESP-possessing superhero sent by the good Lord above?! Who would make everything alright at the end between Nisha and Prem!

How does every person at every filmi shaadi follow the hero and heroine’s impromptu dance steps with perfect coordination but getting three people to do five basic steps at your friend’s sangeet is the hardest thing EVER?!

What IS the Ande Ka Funda?

Why does that song finish without ever truly explaining it!

Cover: SUMIT KUMAR

EDITORIAL: Poonam Saxena (Editor), Aasheesh Sharma, Rachel Lopez, Tavishi Paitandy Rastogi, Mignonne Dsouza, Veenu Singh, Parul Khanna, Yashica Dutt, Amrah Ashraf, Saudamini Jain, Shreya Sethuraman

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

Stuff You Said Last Sunday

by Saudamini Jain

LOVE IT

When heartless, soulless colleagues bawl at Sachin’s speech #ThankYouSachin n Candice Swanepoel in that $10million Victoria’s Secret bra n The Google Reunion ad n Improv Everywhere’s When Harry Met Sally In Real Life (The orgasm scene in the film? This is 20 women doing just that and in Katz’s Deli) n Shashi Tharoor hiding his paunch (thehiddenpaunch. tumblr.com) n

n That Krrish 3 became the highest grosser ever. (We love Hrithik and all, but seriously?) n Justin Bieber’s new ‘sensual’ song, PYD (that’s ‘put you down’ and er, all the way down. Okay, enough. Gross) n Designer vaginas n Failing an online course n Perfect couples and their relationship advice

SHOVE IT

Why are filmi siblings (especially from the ’70s and ’80s) always on the opposite ends of the morality scale – one is an imaandaar ‘pulees afsar’ and his bhai a smug smuggler? Why can’t they ever have normal professions like being an accountant and an engineer?

Why is the medical fraternity not taking inspiration from Rajinikanth and Mithun films?! Clearly the easiest way to deal with a brain tumour is to shoot a bullet at it... In one ear, out from the other.

On The Brunch Radar

Idiot Box

Loved toda y @HTBrunc h! I have witnessed all the things on th e Breakfast of Champions page (It’s Not An Indian Wedding W ithout...) @Rapatraa pchick

artieymoon The honill be really the cle w r me in useful fo g future. comin han @guf_k

The Book ook Club

Ms D Your artic utt, le (Don’t Just Put A Rin g On It!) suggests that it is the sole resp onsibility of the man to What is th propose. e equivale nt thing for a woman to prove her commitment? – Jo hn

Of course a woman can and should propose marriage. In fact, I might do so myself! – Yashica Dutt

by Shreya Sethuraman aman

Ladies, please

Book: House of Cards by Sudha Murty The gist: After being married for 25 years, a woman decides to leave her husband Read it if you liked: The movie Arth. Although there’s no infidelity involved, the book is about a woman discovering her individuality One line review: It’s not her best work (we really liked Mahashweta). This one falters in the middle and her emotions aren’t always real It’s worth it: For the last 30 pages Best line: “My duty towards both of you is over. I’ve fulfilled all my duties as a wife, mother and daughter-in-law. Now I want to live for myself”

Life lessons from Bigg Boss

by Yashica Dutt

What can you possibly learn from a bunch of celebrity pipsqueaks, who have chosen (for enormous sums of money) to shove, strangle and cuddle on reality TV? Apparently, a lot! How to deflect arguments and get away with murder (the way they cry foul, you’d think someone was shot) are tricks that won’t fail you. PS: We’d never rely on them. If you do, we hope we can see you on reality TV soon n Never Stick To The Point. Instead, resurrect a fight from two weeks ago. As the high TRPs bear testimony, not only will it distract people, it’ll ensure you full unaccountability. Since you’ll both be screaming about entirely different things, the point will be lost. n Ain’t Nothing Wrong With Pretending Dumb. If you’re a woman, saying a bewildered ‘kyaaa!’ on loop whenever you’re questioned, is known to forgive a multitude of sins and makes you extremely adorable. For complete tutorials, watch Katrina Kaif circa 2008, Eli, speak to Salman Khan on Fridays.

DESIGN: Ashutosh Sapru (National Editor, Design), Monica Gupta, Swati Chakrabarti, Payal Dighe Karkhanis, Rakesh Kumar, Ajay Aggarwal

Drop us a line at: brunchletters@hindustantimes. com or to 18-20 Kasturba Gandhi Marg, New Delhi 110001

n Enemy’s Enemy = Friend. Does it matter if you’ve sworn against a belligerent duo since day one? Not when your nemesis wrongs them. Then, you support them. Like Gauahar and Kamya, who don’t let any opportunity to put Andy down, even if it means standing up for snickering star kids Armaan and Tanishaa. n The Nice Man Standing. Let them pull hair and hurl plates. So what if you get caught in the crossfire? There’s nothing stopping your supply of chawanprash! Like heartland heartthrob Sangram, who is quick to apologise even if he isn’t at fault. He has an endless flow of mercy for his abusers.

FOR ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES, PLEASE CONTACT National — Sanchita Tyagi: sanchita.tyagi@hindustantimes.com North — Siddarth Chopra: siddarth.chopra@hindustantimes.com West — Karishma Makhija: karishma.makhija@hindustantimes.com South — Francisco Lobo: francisco.lobo@hindustantimes.com

6

WELLNESS

MIND BODY SOUL SHIKHA SHARMA

EMOTIONAL ATYACHAAR Our feelings can cause us to pile on the pounds.

Here’s what to watch out for

I

N TIMES of stress or anxiety, many of us turn to food to comfort ourselves.

But the reason why we do this is complex. Basically, our bodies have a weight set-point, controlled by our brain. This ensures that our vital parameters are controlled and maintained by the body.

This set-point also controls our weight, which is the result of many things like our genetic set-point, habits, and interaction with the external environment. For example, if the body loses or gains weight, this set-point measures the change and sends out signals that can downmake the body either regain ward spiral, the lost weight or lose the and also lead weight that was gained. to excessive Our emotions play a sigeating. nificant role in making the body overrule the mind. They may be LOW SELF-ESTEEM: Feeling the hidden factor that helps the low and unloved can dent a body get stuck at a particular women’s self-esteem, which weight or make the body invariably leads to lose or gain weight. If I overeating. Generally, may hazard a hypothwomen are more selfesis, I believe that our conscious and harsh. emotional set-point This may get aggravated influences the body’s by cruel comments from set-point. The followothers, which can send ing emotions can play THE BITTER TRUTH them into a negative Many unappreciated havoc with any diet spiral. This often leads women internalise the hurt regime: to overeating. Feeling they feel by overeating unappreciated can be a ANXIETY: When blow to a woman’s selfwomen get anxious, they crave esteem. Under such situations, foods that are sweet or crunchy. many women who feel less appreciated may internalise the ANGER AND hurt by overeating.

FRUSTRATION:

These emotions translate into overeating spicy, sweet or sour foods.

BOREDOM: Feeling bored or listless can be the first step towards a

FEAR: This is a powerful emotion and can lead to immense amounts of weight gain. Many people who experience fear use food as a coping mechanism. Comfort eating is a common result of subconscious fears.

ask@drshikha.com Photos: SHUTTERSTOCK

MORE ON THE WEB For more columns by Dr Shikha Sharma and other wellness stories, log on to hindustantimes.com/brunch NOVEMBER 24, 2013

8

COVER STORY

ven if you’re E . s p p a e il b o It’s raining m ol list of free o c r u o t u o k ec ! a novice, ch form your life s n a tr to d e te apps, guaran app creators e v ti n e v in e m mit Kumar And meet so rations by Su ust ethuraman, Ill

by Shreya S

You can’t get away from money – whether it’s monthly groceries, that loan to your friend, EMIs for your new car, or even checking the stock market. And now, with dozens of companies offering money apps, it’s a mad rush out there.

Most leading banks have apps, usually free of cost, for their customers. Rajeeb Chatterjee, senior vice president and head, ATM and mobile banking, HDFC, says, “We offer more than 60 transactions, such as checking one’s account statement, transferring funds, making credit card bill payments, etc on the MobileBanking platform. The app is safe as no information is stored on the mobile phone or SIM card. So even

if the phone is lost or stolen, the customer’s account is secure and cannot be compromised.”

Keeping a tab on your expenses is a challenge, right? Perhaps Delhi-based app developer Ankit Pandey’s Daily Expense Manager can help. “During our college days there was a lot of spending (frivolous or otherwise), and we didn’t know where and how to note all this down,” he says. “Today, with most college kids armed with smartphones, we thought there could be nothing better than an app to manage expenses.”

There’s a host of finance-based apps that you can choose from.

Some help you stick to a budget, while others tell you about your investments. Here’s our list of some apps that make the cut:

IMAGINE A DAY in your life.

You wake up, head for a swim, drive to work, make some calls, catch a movie, head to the lane you never knew existed behind that parking lot for a plate of biryani, go back home, set an alarm for the next day and finally fall asleep.

Now imagine if your smartphone helped you at every step of your entire day. There’s practically nothing an app can’t do today. Mobile applications or ‘apps’ are software applications that you can download onto your smartphone or tablet.

They’re supposed to help you organise and live your life better.

All major banks, such as ICICI, Citibank, HDFC etc, have apps, which allow account holders to track their balance, statements, find the nearest ATM, and deposit money via their smartphones. Usually y banks have in-house developers who make apps for them.

Available on: Android/ iOS/ Windows

Like keeping a check on the stock markets while you’re on the move? Look no further than the Stock Watch: BSE/NSE app. Developed by SnapWork Technologies, it provides hourly updates and tells you what market experts are saying about the current scenario. The hourly updates appear as a bull symbol on the top of your smartphone. Add your personal shares as well and see how your investments are doing.

Available on: Android/ iOS/ Windows

This personal finance app allows you to manage your monthly finances in an easy manner. All you need to do is take a picture

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

“Apps can make you do so much, such as checking the weather, banking, reading maps or scanning airline timetables,” says tech writer Ashish Bhatia. “Each person has a unique requirement that can be catered to through apps.”

But when did apps make their entry into our lives?

Almost everyone remembers that delightful game called Snake on old Nokia phones. That was probably the first ‘app.’ But the real breakthrough came in 2007, when Apple introduced the iPhone, and users began consuming music on their phones. Today, there are millions of apps in the virtual world. Here’s our list of some of the best, across health and fitness, travel, money, productivity, entertainment and the social networking categories.

ars fan essed Star W This self-conf apps a of ld or w e to th got drawn in that w fe st o. The fir few years ag pbuAp ith w on he worked pany where he lous, the com lated to puzre e er w , works g. However, in m zles and ga track of ep the need to ke his led him and es ns pe ex o daily ith this app tw w up e m co in es ns team to pe ex u slot ou lets yo years ago. It , etc, and el av tr , od fo e categories lik ent modes. record paym d oiid do Anrd Available on:

of your bills or receipts when you make a purchase or pay a bill. Colourful charts and graphs tell you where your money is going. If you see where your money is going, you might stop spending so much!

Available on: Windows

Developed by Network18, it gives you real-time stock quotes, market indices, and keeps track of your investment portfolio. Plus live videos to know where the experts stand.

Available on: Windows/ Android/ iOS

COVER STORY

All of us, okay, most of us, are obsessed with our health these days!

We run, jog, diet and obsess over our weight. The profusion of health and fitness apps calculate calories, track your breathing, sleep pattern, blood pressure, among a hundred other things. But Sunil Maheshwari, co-founder and CEO of Mango Technologies, who has developed Workout Scheduler, says you need to be careful about such apps: “We’re talking about people’s health here. Many have diabetes or blood pressure problems. So we need to give proper information keeping in mind the lifestyle of a person and integrate it accordingly.” You’ll find many health apps if you just look through the app store on your phone.

Our list of health apps you should try:

This is an important issue in these troubled times. We travel far and wide, for work, for recreation and could face tough situations. Enter safety apps. Your phone can scream (like an actual woman screaming) if you’re in danger. Other apps let your loved ones know where you’re stuck; your location reaches them via a text message. There are apps for blood donation too. Bangalore-based app developer Ashton D’Sa and Delhi-based Jayant Bhandari are among those who’ve developed donor apps. All you need to do is enter the blood group needed and the location, and you get a list of people in the vicinity available to donate blood.

Here are some useful safety apps:

You’ve probably seen the ads on television. Popular TV celebrities (they’ve now roped in actress Kareena Kapoor Khan too) have been promoting it. When you download this app (developed

by Star India Pvt Ltd), a note pops up on your screen: “We hope you never have to use it.” You need to key in the numbers of your emergency contacts, and if you’re in trouble, g a message: “I’m in they will get danger. Please help me”. You need

utton to press your phone’s power button ess twice and a text with your distress message and location will be sent to those on your list.

Available on: Android/ iOS

This app (developed

by GoPal Appmaker) does what it’s called – it screams! And it’s a loud scream, meant to scare off predators.

Available on: Android/ iOS

To acti activate this alarm, shake your phone a fixed fix number of times y and your family will know you De need them. Developed

by New Je Jersey-based iXtentia, it sends y an SMS and an email to your fo folks about your location at re regular intervals. Your phone’s ba battery level is also sent, so in case y your battery is next to dead, yo family will know. your Av Available on: iOS/ Android

Created by a young qua rtet, this app reaches out to everyo ne who is always on their smart phone. Download the app and ent er the blood type required and you r location. You will get a list of people who live in the area and are elig ible to donate blood.

Available on: Window s/ iOS/ Android

When y you create your account, ch choose a list of guardians you’d lik to notify. To activate the like alar alarm, you need to clic the big red SOS click bu button to send your loca location details to Y can also get them. You yo guardians to track your locayour li via GPS if you’re visiting tion live unf an unfamiliar area. Norway-based de Bipper AS has developed this app.

Av Available on: Android/ iOS

This app developed by Azumio Inc. tracks the number of hours you’ve slept and how that affects your efficiency. All you need to do is to set an alarm and keep your phone face down next to your pillow. Your smartphone will then sense how many times you turned, when you were in deep sleep and when were you a whisker away from waking up. Once you wake up, click on the Sleep Lab tab and a graph will show how well you slept. The glitch? It eats up ALL your battery. So plug in your phone and then activate the app.

Available on: Android/ iOS

Many calorie counter apps don’t have an extensive database for food, so you might not be able to include those golgappas you had last night. But you’ll find them (and/ or anything else you may have eaten) on MyFitnessPal, and the calories they contain. If you’re on a diet, a pie chart tells you the fat, carbs and protein content. It’ll also tell you what you need to cut down on.

Available on: Android/ iOS/ Windows

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

It lets you log exercise activity and calculates average speed, calories burnt and hydration levels. Your phone also doubles as a GPS tracker, complete with the route taken while running.

Availab Available on: iOS/ Android/ Windows

“In any mobile app, content has to match expe rience. Worko ut Scheduler do es that,” says Maheshw ari.

This app lists various workouts, al ong with step-by-step instructions. Graphi cs and tips give a better understanding of th e moves. Choo se an exercise that suits your bo dy type.

Available on: Windows

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10

COVER STORY

With so many travel apps attempting to woo users, it’s a tough choice. Booking a cab is commonplace, but making the call, waiting for the call executive to note down all your details can be irksome. So say hello to the Meru app.. “Developing it was an obvious decision

for us, given thatt people book cabs on the go,” says Nilesh hnical officer, Sangoi, chief technical -city Meru Cabs. Booking inter-city hat’s buses can also be a pain. That’s pp is so handy. why the RedBus app Shashaank Shekhar Singhal, senior product managerr (Mobile) for RedBus, says,, “Bus trave can be unpredictable travel w ther conditions and given weather ding ignorance of the exact boarding place We give real-time eal-time inplace. form bout the formation to users about loca location of the bus,, and tell a them about the points they g down to take pictures.” can get Our list of travel apps that will help y you plans your journeys with all the fun and none of the pain:

m Delhi to oked a bus fro So you’ve bo for your t se l al and are McLeodganj ow how kn to t you want vacation. Bu from your is s bu e th r fa t and how boarding poin to get to ke ta long it will es do just you. RedBus nus, you bo a As . that es where ac pl of get a list cturesque pi wn to take you can get do ts eateries lis so al p ap e selfies too! Th you can route. Oh yes, and dhabas en too! book tickets droid/ iOS Windows/ An : on e bl la ai Av

You know that niggling feeling.

There was a list of ‘to do’ things for the day, but you can’t quite remember what they were. When you were out shopping, you forgot where you parked your car. Naturally there are apps designed to ease all these irritants.

In the thr three months since the app came into being, mor more than 1.3 lakh do downloads ha have taken place, and mor more than 2,000 trips are book booked daily using the app.

Their ‘In Case of Emergenc gency’ alert helps track the user’ user’s location. You will need to sa save the number of a lo loved one and alert them in case of an emergency.

They will rreceive an SMS with y your location details

and will be able to see your whereabouts on the map.

Available on: Android and iOS. Soon on Windows.

Type in where you want to get off, and the app will tell you exactly which platform to take the train from, where to change trains (if required), where to get off, and how much it will cost you.

Available on: Android/ iOS

Developed by Radiant Info Systems Ltd (RISL), the app debuted last month and is a government initiative. BusIndia earlier had a portal, which though successful, didn’t

Kulveer Taggar, who has developed the Agent group of apps says, “We wanted to make something we ourselves would want to use. Our Parking Agent (for instance), came about because we didn’t want to waste time looking for the spot where we’d parked our car when we went for investor meetings.” great producTap these apps for greater tivity and efficiency:

board, a whiteboard, or the typical yellow stick note). You’ll see an angry face at the bottom of your screen where you choose the notes from.

Just click on the angry face. Every time you unlock your phone, this note will pop up on your screen, reminding you about pending tasks.

Available on: Android

Reminders ar are often not enough for people to finish their tasks on time. Developed De

by NOS Micr Microsystems Ltd, Bother Me post-its will badger you y into y finishing your y need task. All you to do is write y down your tasks da on a for the day note (this could w be a wooden

A sudden call from your client to discuss a project plan can make you nervous, especially if you don’t have a laptop on you. But if you have the PDF you mailed to the client on your smartphone, the Evernote Corporation app can come to your rescue. It will let you mark changes on the PDF. This app also lets you plot directions on Google Maps and mail it to friends to help them find their way to a destination.

Available on: Android/ iOS

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

reach many users. Chairman and CEO of RISL Venu Myneni realised the potential of mobile penetration and decided to develop an app that allowed users to book bus tickets. However, you can book only state transport buses through this app.

Available on: Android/ Windows.

You’ve just landed in a new city, allow your phone’s camera to be your friend, philosopher and guide. With Street Lens (developed

by Tracky Apps), point your phone camera on a street to discover the best shops, restaurants and other places of interest close by. Tap the icons that spring up to get more information, such as reviews or phone numbers.

Available on: Android/ iOS

Developed by KS Mobile, this app is perfect for cleaning your system cache. At the press of a button, your phone will start running faster than before.

Available on: Android/ iOS

The Driving Ag ent app dete cts when your ca r is moving an d sends a mes sage to calle rs telling them you are driving and won’t be able to take the call. While th is application is free, if you wish to buy the entire pa ck of Agent apps (Driving, Meeting, Parking, Batte ry and Sleepi ng) you can get it for a price of `8 0.

Available on: Android/ iOS

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COVER STORY

Of course we’re worried about our productivity and our health. But we’re only human. And it’s obvious that we’d like some entertainment every now and then. Vinod Bhat, co-founder and CEO of Saavn, a platform for listening to music, says, “With the increasing penetration of smartphones and the unmet desire to have music on the go, we created our iOS, Android and mobile Internet apps.

Mobile app users are much more engaged, and listen to more songs in a session than Web users. While the usage varies a lot between users, on an average, mobile users are listening to around 6+ hours of music per month.”

Though there is the disadvantage of viewing your favourite show or movie on a small screen, for those who are on-the-go and don’t like to miss out on anything, there’s Ditto TV. This app allows you to watch your favourite shows and movies on your smartphone screen. Manoj Padmanabhan, business head, Ditto TV, says, “We need to cater to the youth whose demand has shifted to watching what they want, when they want.”

The app Wooplr caters to the

needs of shopaholics with eclectic tastes. This app stems from the fact that “people are curious and choosy and want search results to cater to their needs,” says Arjun Zacharia, CEO of Wooplr, a ‘shopping, discovery and lifestyle’ app.

It lets people who are fond of shopping build their own network of followers and friends. Here are the coolest entertainment/social apps:

Saavn stands for South Asian Audio Video Network and is a digital music service, which allows you to listen to any song from any film in any language. Developed by a company of the same name, they have special features like ‘Songs of the Week’, which is a collection of about 10 popular numbers for that week. They also have ‘Surprise Me’, which is a playlist of 15 songs from every era.

You can create your own playlist by adding as many songs as you want.

Available on: iOS/ Android/ BlackBerry

With apps ruling almost every aspect of our lives, where do we go from here? What lies ahead?

Pune-based app developer Shashwat Pradhan (who recently co-founded his third start-up) says, “In the beginning, we had a lot of social apps. Now, mobiles have sensors in them that detect several things, for instance, light and location. They understand a lot about the app user. Future apps will be conditioned around you. For exam-

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

We’ve reached that age where we’re comfortable watching TV on our smartphones. Ditto TV, developed by Zee Entertainment Enterprises Ltd, is a way to catch the latest show, or movie of your choice, no matter where you are. Data charges for downloading apply separately and there’s the individual charge of the show or movie you’d like to download. The app is free or the first of cost for users for fortnight. Movies and TV shows have been categorised into Best Picks, Roou can mance, Thriller, etc. You also watch Live TV, which lets you catch a particular TV show as it airs. The quality is good, so you shouldn’t worry about video clarity.

Available on: iOS/ Android

There’s a play on at your favourite theatre this Saturday. And your friend also recital has a dance recital W on Wednesday. But don have you don’t f the time to call for De tickets. Developed Enter

by Bigtree Entertainment Pvt Ltd, BookMySho the BookMyShow w app finds out who’s w performing where w and when, which sho movie is showing in thea which theatre and tic books your tickets y can faster than you BookMySho say BookMyShow!

Availab on: AnAvailable Blac droid/ iOS/ BlackW Berry/ Windows

ple: You go to a movie theatre and want your phone to be silent, so by using the GPS of your phone, the app can figure out your location, how long the movie is and be silent for that duration.”

For Binay Tewari, directorglobal marketing & product, Vserv. mobi (an award-winning mobile advertising exchange that helps app developers monetise their apps), who uses an app to remind him to drink enough water (he

rs, Created by a group of youngste this app is for those who love shop re ping. But if you don’t know whe can to go and what to buy, Wooplr t wan you ose help. Supp to buy a pair of woollen earmuffs from Sarojini Nagar, but don’t know which shop has them. Just enter these two words on lts of your screen and you’ll get resu a Build to. go ld shou you the shop/s and social circle of regular shoppers place find out, for example, the best kala or alu ori-a kach of for a plate unt khatta. You need a Facebook acco for this app. ows Available on: Android/ iOS/ Wind

You’re watching the latest episode of 24 and dying to discuss the show. Post a picture of a scene from the show on the page where other viewers are discussing it.

Users get a reminder around 15 minutes before a chat window is about to open. The mission, the makers say, is to provide TV channels with a platform to engage with the audience. Developed by Noida-based iDubba, iCouch is a chat application for TV viewers.

Available on: iOS/ Android

believes it’s much easier that way), the next five years will see a spurt in wearable technology. “It will become commonplace (it has already made appearances at tech shows across the globe),” he says.

Meanwhile, find the app that works best for you! shreya.sethuraman@hindustantimes.com Follow @iconohclast on Twitter To look at more delightful illustrations, contact the super funny Sumit Kumar on www.sumitdrew.com

14

GUEST COLUMN

F

twitter.com/HTBrunch

OR THE last few months, I’ve had some very ferocious thoughts about Sarah Waters, Amitav Ghosh and Vikram Seth. All three are authors whose books I adore, none of them has had a new book out for ages though each one has a work in progress, and by now my patience has been completely exhausted.

By now, what I want to do is chain these authors to their desks and stand behind them with a very large stick till they finish writing their books so I can read them NOW. And while I’m reading these three new books, I expect Ms Waters and Messrs Seth and Ghosh each to begin their next book so I don’t have to hop impatiently from foot to foot all the time, snarling, come on, come on, WRITE FASTER. As you can see, when it comes to favourite authors, I’m the world’s most impatient person. Once they’ve addicted me to their creations, I read everything they’ve ever written, and then I want the next book at once. So you can imagine the depth of my frustration with favourite authors who happen to be dead.

Chances are I’ve read every book they’ve ever written, but much as I jump up and down in frustration, there’ll never be any more by them for me to read.

Which is why I think I may need a psychiatrist, because this year, the characters originally created by no less than three of my most favourite dead authors are being revived in fresh stories by other authors, and am I excited? Far from it. My only reaction is, “Noooooo!

The horror, the horror.”

Out this month are Jeeves and the Wedding Bells by Sebastian Faulks and Asterix and the Picts

by Jean-Yves Ferri and Didier Conrad. And in September next year, Hercule Poirot will return in a book by Sophie Hannah. These are characters originally created

by PG Wodehouse (only the greatest humourist and writer of all time as far as I’m concerned), René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo (only the creators of the greatest comic

But That’s Another Story What hapens when your favourite characters are revived by new authors?

by Kushalrani Gulab BLAST FROM THE PAST

PG Wodehouse’s Jeeves, Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot and René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo’s Asterix are all back in new books

Photo: THINKSTOCK, Imaging: MONICA GUPTA

book series of all time as far as I’m concerned), and Agatha Christie (only the queen of crime), respectively. I’ve read every last book about them, knowing full well that they were literally the last books, and I thoroughly dislike the idea of these characters making a comeback.

Why? There are two reasons. The first is purely emotional. I love these characters because they were created by authors I love. Authors I grew up with, whose work ensured I understood

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

that I’ll never have a dull moment as long as I have a book, any book, in my hands. So I hate the idea of other authors mucking around with them.

The second reason is similar to the first, but more rational.

These characters were the creation of individuals. Jeeves, Asterix, Poirot were carefully constructed and brought to life by Wodehouse, Goscinny and Uderzo and Christie respectively, and these authors brought their own sensibilities to the

The original authors and their characters share DNA

characters. If we know who these characters are, what they do, how they speak and act and react, it’s because of their original authors who gave birth to them. The original authors and their characters share DNA. Other authors writing about these characters, however, are at a huge disadvantage, because they only have a list of characteristics for the protagonists, and a bunch of formulas for the plots. Though they may themselves be enormous fans of the original authors, they know these characters only as readers, not as writers. Which means that however hard they try, what they’ll come up with will be, at best, a pale imitation, and at worst, almost a parody.

This doesn’t mean that books like these will not work for everyone. Chances are they could work for casual readers – meaning readers who never were obsessive fans of the original authors in the first place. Where the fans of the original authors will be primed to spot errors of style, plotting and characterisation, casual readers will read these books just as they read other books. Which explains why books like these keep on being written: Sherlock Holmes still saunters into mysteries though his original creator, Arthur Conan Doyle, died in 1930. James Bond still has his licence to kill, though his original creator, Ian Fleming, died in 1964. And even Enid Blyton’s the Famous Five are having a wunderbar time, with 21 new books in Germany.

For all I know, I may like the new James Bond novel, Solo, by William Boyd. I’ve never read Fleming but I do like Boyd, so this book may just work for me. I know I loved The Mandala of Sherlock Holmes by Jamyang Norbu, which starred both Conan Doyle’s Holmes and Rudyard Kipling’s Hurree Babu from Kim. But when it comes to my own favourite characters, here’s a warning for their new authors: Muck around with them, and I will break your face. brunchletters@hindustantimes.com Follow Kushalrani Gulab on Twitter @HappyQueenRose

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Instead of focusing on our flaws, how about we appreciate our bodies for all that they do for us?

Photo: GETTYIMAGES

A TIME TO REFLECT Donna Karan famously designs while seated naked in front of a mirror

MORE ON THE WEB For more SPECTATOR columns by Seema Goswami, log on to hindustantimes. com/Brunch. Follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/ seemagoswami. Write to her at seema _ ht@rediffmail.com

focus all the many flaws that her body, and by extension, the body of every woman, possesses so that she can work around it.

Because let’s face it: that’s what we see when we look in the mirror, don’t we? All our many flaws, some real, some that exist only in our own imagination. And then we duly beat ourselves up about it. If only I had bigger eyes, better teeth, a trimmer waist, longer legs, bigger (or smaller) breasts, life would be so much better.

But here’s a novel idea. How about we get naked in front HAT DO you see when you look into a mirror? of the mirror. And instead of focusing on all the flaws that Dark circles under your eyes, a legacy of too our bodies possess – and in our minds, there are hundreds many late nights followed by early mornings? of them – we try and see the beauty instead. That instead of Laugh lines that bear testimony to the good beating our bodies up for being fat, flabby and flat-out usetimes you have had? The first flash of grey at the temples that less, we treasure them for all the value they add to our life. strikes terror in your heart? A slimmer waist, the results of Let’s start from the top, shall we? Never mind the thina no-carb regime? Or a middle-age spread that no number ning hair; people start losing hair from their 20s. And if the of abdominal crunches can banish? Do you see your father grey really bothers you, there’s always hair dye. It’s what lies underneath that you should be grateful for. The brain that helps you remember both the big Seema Goswami stuff and the minutiae of your life: the first time you fell in love; the date of your wedding anniversary; the moment your baby thrust its way into the world; the last day to file tax returns; where you left the car keys. Imagine, for a second, that it didn’t work. Yes, you’re not worrying about your receding hairline now, are you?

And then, there’s your face; what the world judges you by. But no matter what you think, nobody else is focusing that much on the wobbly (or your mother) staring back at you? Or do you double chin or even the lines on your forehead. see the features of your first born in your own THE RIGHT TOOLS It’s the expression in your eyes that matters; Only with a mask of make-up crumpling face? and whether your lips are drooping down in a Speaking for myself, I must confess that I can I bring myself to look at my scowl or curved upwards in a smile. don’t dare look too closely. Well, not first thing reflection and not wince But you know what? Never mind what the in the morning anyway. And even after a shower world sees and makes of you. There’s plenty and lavish applications of moisturiser, it is best to maintain here to be grateful for. The eyes that allow you to apprecia safe distance till the kajal and lipstick are in place. Only ate the beauty of a flowering rose; the nose that lets you take then, with a mask of make-up (okay, minimal make-up I in the delicious smells emanating from the kitchen as your grant you, but you’d be surprised by the difference it makes) mom cooks your favourite dish; the mouth that makes it to hide behind, can I bring myself to look at my reflection possible for you to appreciate fine wines, good food, and the straight in the eye and not wince. And even so, I never allow fruits of the season and kiss your loved ones. my eyes to wander below my chin; yes, like Nora Ephron, I Instead of obsessing about how your breasts don’t look too feel bad about my neck. like that French lingerie model, just be grateful that they These days, of course, the mirror has been replaced by work well enough to make food for your baby. That while the camera phone, as the absolute deluge of selfies on social your stomach may not have washboard abs, it can take all media makes clear. The world seems to be full of people starthe junk you throw at it and still keep you healthy (okay, ing at themselves in their phone screens, making the requikind of healthy). Never mind the bingo wings they have acsite duck face (chin down and elongated, cheeks sucked in quired of late, your arms can swing the ball a long way on to create hollows, and lips pushed forward in a trout pout) the links. Your legs may sport a bit of cellulite but they can and going ‘click’. The judicious application of a few filters on still take you up that mountain to witness a sunset like no Instagram, and voila, you have a new image to send out into other. And your feet may not look pretty, but they can soak up the ether that is the virtual world. the warmth of a beach and make you sigh with contentment But while camera phones have their uses, there is nothwhen you soak them in a hot tub. ing quite like a mirror to get to grips with your own image.

There’s really a lot to be grateful for; so just take a moDonna Karan, for instance, famously designs while seated ment and say thank you to your body. It’s the only one you’ll naked in front of a mirror. According to her, this brings into ever get, so make sure that you cherish it.

Mirror, Mirror, on The Wall…

W

spectator

Photos: SHUTTERSTOCK, THINKSTOCK

indulge

When we look in the mirror, all we see is our many flaws, some real, some that we only imagine

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indulge

Photo: SHUTTERSTOCK

Why The World Is GoInG CronuTs

The cronut craze will quickly sweep the world and will just as quickly retreat.

This is not a pastry that is going to survive through the decades

P

ERHAPS IT is because we have no indigenous culture of quality baking in India, but the subcontinent seems to have escaped the pastry boom that is sweeping the world. I was in Thailand and the Philippines recently and I was struck by the profusion of bakery shops and pâtisserie counters. Most evenings, there would be crowds and queues in front of these counters as locals packed bakery products to take home. From what I recall, this is as true in Singapore and Malaysia as well.

business and it has its origins in America.

In the United States, baking has rarely been regarded as the sort of thing that makes a chef ’s reputation. The interesting American breads, for instance, tend to be the Jewish breads which have their origins in Europe. Instead, Americans treat baking as a basic craft, so basic in fact that anyone can do it at home. The great American bakery classics – Mom’s apple pie or freshly-baked vanilla cookies or chocolate brownies – are all home-cooking specialities.

They are a way of expressing love and affection rather than any great culinary sophistication.

Over the last few decades, however, as the Vir Sanghvi number of mums who bother to make apple pie has dwindled, Americans have become hooked on the food industry’s bakery offerings. It is now common for people to grab a doughnut, a Danish pastry or a muffin along with a coffee on the way to work. Rarely are these products created by artisanal bakers. They are usually industrial foods produced on a mass scale.

Some canny marketer saw an opening. Since Contrast this with India’s big cities. Though the beginning of the century, two new products the American Dunkin’ Donuts chain has been have come to epitomise the American big city a big success in India, it has focused on the ethos. There’s the cupcake, packaged as a girlie quality of its coffee and its newly-introduced product and sold at high prices with fancy names. range of hamburgers. Doughnuts are part And then, there’s the upmarket doughnut. This of the mix but they are not the sole point of is almost exactly the same as the downmarket the exercise. And while there are cult bakeries doughnut but it usually includes a glaze around (Bombay’s Theobroma, for instance) in our it and contains variations in texture. The metros, the pastry counter is not a regular ONLY IF IT’S HARD TO FIND company that turned the upmarket doughnut The girlie cupcake as a component of the food experience. into a global phenomenon is, of course, I am not the world’s greatest bakery fan product epitomises American Krispy Kreme, and you will find its stores all and anyway, I try and avoid wheat these days. big city ethos. The key to its over the world.

But there seem to me to be two distinct strands success is the hype around it The key to the success of the girlie to the bakery craze. The first is the European cupcake and the upmarket doughnut has been strand, inspired perhaps by all those little pâtisseries in hype. Such shows as Sex And The City drew an audience Paris that sell freshly-made crème caramel or the Austrian that was looking for direction and wanted to be advised pastry shops that are justly proud of their sachertorte. to eat trendy foods (and drink trendy drinks, wear trendy But this is not part of the pastry craze that is currently shoes, etc). In New York, a food product is only desirable if sweeping the world. There is a second strand to the bakery famous people like it or if it is hard to find.

rude food

ANYTHING FOR A DOUGHNUT

The Krispy Kreme doughnut craze in Bangkok created a parallel black market, where doughnuts from the outlet were sold at double their price

Photos: THINKSTOCK

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

hindustantimes.com/brunch

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Photo: GETTY IMAGES

The cronut is a doughnut made from croissant dough. It was invented in New York by a French chef called Dominique Ansel Consider the story of the cronut. This is a doughnut made from croissant dough. It was invented in New York by a French chef called Dominique Ansel. In the beginning, Ansel prided himself on baking only 300 cronuts each morning. When people started raving about the quality of his cronuts in the media (including social media), Ansel found that he had a riot on his hands. Each morning a line forms outside his bakery and no sooner has he opened his doors, the cronuts are gone. You would think that he might consider expanding his production. But Ansel knows the value of hype and scarcity. His cronuts are prized because it is so hard to get your hands on one.

Scarcity creates its own compulsions. So, at least some of those who queue up for Ansel’s cronuts are not buying them for themselves. A black market in cronuts has developed with scalpers selling them at up to 100 dollars per cronut, which makes them the world’s most expensive upmarket doughnuts.

A doughnut black market is not as strange as you may think. A few years ago, when Krispy Kreme opened its first Thai outlet at Bangkok’s Siam Paragon mall, Thais would queue for hours for the dubious pleasure of getting to sink their teeth into one of Krispy Kreme’s glazed doughnuts.

Inevitably, a black market developed and if you looked longingly at the Krispy Kreme counter while entering the mall, a guy would soon sidle up to you and offer to sell you the doughnuts at double the normal rate.

With the cronut craze sweeping the world, the Thais have been quick to capitalise on the trend. A few months ago, I was surprised to find that Bangkok’s Lebua Hotel was offering cronuts as part of its breakfast service. It turned out that the hotel’s two pastry chefs, Adrien Detti and Gilles Delaloy read about Ansel’s creation and tapped contacts in New York to find out how the cronut was made.

“It is not really difficult to make,” Detti told me. “We

WHO NEEDS NEW YORK?

Pastry chefs Adrien Detti (left) and Gilles Delaloy from Lebua, Bangkok, devised a recipe that mimics Ansel’s New York cronut

CROUGHNUT RECIPE got the recipe and then we experimented again and again till we got it right. It is not as simple as making a normal doughnut with croissant dough. There is a trick. You have to fold the dough one more time than you would with a normal croissant. But once you do that, the dish is perfect every time.”

Ansel is said to be angered by the flood of imitators and has tried to patent the cronut name all over the world with some success. (Adrien and Gilles’ version is called croughnut because of copyright issues). The problem is that once a bakery product is out there, in the public domain, you can’t really stop people from cooking it. You can, of course, stop them from using your brand name but after a while that hardly matters. People work out that others are making cronuts that are as good as yours and begin to buy them no matter what name is used. Plus, potential buyers of the non-Ansel cronuts don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn to block seats in the queue.

If you are interested in making your own cronuts (and you’d have to be a pretty good chef judging by how complicated the recipe is), I got Adrien Detti to part with the method he uses at Lebua. He’s not sure that it is exactly the same as Ansel’s original. But he promises that the results will be up to the standards of the New York version.

Which leaves the big question: why would you want to eat a cronut, anyway? I haven’t tried the Ansel original but judging by everything I have read about it, a cronut is about as heavy as a giant whale or an overgrown African elephant. Time magazine rated it as one of the 25 best inventions of the year 2013 but its description should tell you everything you need to know: “A croissant-style pastry that is fried like a doughnut, filled with cream and topped with glaze.” To that, one could add that it’s not just ordinary cream in the filling but a version that has been enriched with such ingredients as mascarpone. The average cronut has so many calories that you’ve got to be a cronut junkie to finish one.

I mean no disrespect to Ansel or even to the two French chefs at Lebua who turned out their own excellent version of the cronut, but I have to say, I am not a fan. It’s too heavy and too sweet for me. And I am willing to make a prediction.

The cronut craze will quickly sweep the world and then will just as quickly retreat. This is not a pastry that is going to survive through the decades.

MORE ON THE WEB For more columns by Vir Sanghvi, log on to hindustantimes.com/brunch NOVEMBER 24, 2013

Bread flour: 1kg Salt: 20gm Sugar: 120gm Fresh yeast: 40gm Starter: 100gm Eggs: 3 Milk: 420ml ■ Mix all the ingredients and continue stirring for about 10 minutes, till the dough is mixed properly ■ Flatten it on an aluminium tray and freeze it for two hours ■ Layer the butter in the middle and fold each side, with one on top of the other ■ Use a rolling pin to flatten the folded rectangle to a 4mm thick sheet. Keep it in the freezer for another hour ■ Fold it again and repeat the procedure of folding and flattening three more times ■ Before flattening it the last time, keep the folded rectangle in the freezer for an hour ■ Cut the sheet in the shape of doughnuts using round cutters ■ Keep the cut croughnuts aside for two hours at a temperature of 30°C, so they rise to almost double their size ■ Fry them directly and leave them for 30 minutes to cool ■ Using a piping bag to fill them uniformly with cream ■ Roll them in sugar or dry coconut powder for the coating ■ Use coloured fondant to decorate the circumference and add dehydrated fruits like dry mango and crispy coconut for seasoning

Courtesy: Adrien Detti and Gilles Delaloy, Lebua Hotel, Bangkok

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indulge

Reinventing the tablet The tablet category needed serious reinvention, and Lenovo has started well on this quest

I

T WAS about 2am when I got back to the hotel. As I eyed the bed and planned my descent onto its inviting-looking folds, the jarring ring of my phone shattered all such plans. It was the people from Lenovo who were on India time and also seemed to be in a state of extreme excitement.

They wanted to talk to me about a revolution, a reinvention, an all-new tablet that was reimagined from the ground up.

It had been a long day for me in Germany, I had worked for almost 16 hours on the trot, I had seen new devices and technology till it was pouring out of my ears, yet I was more than happy to listen to this for one and one reason only: according to me, no device on earth has ever been a bigger disappointment in terms of innovation and out-of-the-box thinking – than a tablet!

Rajiv Makhni

techilicious STUCK IN STICKY MUD

STUCK IN A RUT?

Even after five generations, the latest iPad Air (above) looks exactly like the original (above right)

MORE ON THE WEB For previous columns

by Rajiv Makhni, log on to hindustantimes. com/brunch. Follow Rajiv on Twitter at twitter.com/RajivMakhni

twitter.com/HTBrunch

tablets run out of storage capacity quickly as we load movies, games, music, apps, and most importantly, the form factor itself is prone to a lot of weakness as the big screen gets scratched easily. Thus when Lenovo comes in and says that their all-new Yoga tablets are a revolution that takes care of all these pain points, that’s a BIG claim.

FINALLY THERE

Lenovo’s tablets have great battery life

LENOVO YOGA PAD 8 AND 10

Lenovo starts off strong with a form factor that is different and aesthetically pleasing. It’s supremely thin, very light and made of premium materials. The thin slab-like ergonomic shape ends up on the left side in the shape of a cylinder. This cylinder plays a big role in the reimagination of what a tablet can do. It houses a cool-looking power up button and a headphone jack, it makes the tablet easy to hold, has a very smart hinge at the back and also houses a phenomenal battery.

Let’s start with the hinge, a well-executed piece of industrial design. At various angles and lock positions, this hinge can be used to prop up the device to watch a movie, browse the Net, use for a Skype call or give a presentation. At a second angle, it can be used to type on the keyboard and by holding the hinge between fingers, the grip onto the tablet is excellent and makes for a perfect position to read an eBook or use the device while on the move. I even swung my arms violently and the tablet didn’t feel like it would slip out even once. The weight and shape of this cylinder makes the tablet fall into an excellent position in your hand.

Yes, the tablet is one of the hottest categories ever and it’s also true that after MORE INNOVATION a smartphone, a tablet is the next most The shape of the cylinder also allows the coveted thing. But if you look at both the tablet to house a battery of a shape, size evolution as well as trajectory of the tablet and capacity that is equivalent to a lapsince it’s become a mainstream consumer top battery. Thus the 9000 mAH power device, you’ll see a gadget that has had the LEADING THE PACK generator inside gives the tablet an excelleast amount of changes and wow factors added to it. While tablets have been around forever, Apple’s iPad was the lent battery life of more than 15 hours. There is also the first real tablet to get it all right and become a first real tablet to get an ergonomic keyboard that works as a cover, screen commercial success was Apple’s iPad in April 2010. everything just right protector as well as your typing aide. Add to that the microSD slot, a quad-core processor, good front and That’s almost three-and-a-half years ago and in techback cameras, excellent front-firing speakers and you’ve got nology time, that’s equivalent to a lifetime. Yet, from that a quite a tablet in hand. Unfortunately, it’s not all good news. time till now, there have been five generations of iPads from Apple. Now close your eyes and visualise the first iPad and FUZZY LOGIC then quickly shift your visual to the latest iPad Air. Aren’t The Yoga tablet has one huge Achilles heel and one that stares you shocked that your visual didn’t change much at all? It’s you in the face right away – its screen. In a world dominated even worse with other companies that have played mostly a by super high resolution screen tablets that are moving even copycat game with small design changes and one different further upwards from just full-HD, Lenovo took a truly poor but ho-hum feature. Barring maybe the stylus add-on in the decision in going with a 1280x720 resolution display on this.

Samsung Note tablets, very few differentiators have been It may have been done for price considerations but whatever seen. Every company is happy to put in small upgrades in the reason, it’s taken a product that was about to achieve true hardware, make the devices slightly thinner, introduce one greatness and pulled it down several notches. A tablet is all new colour and keep releasing them as the ‘next generation’ about the screen as you literally interact with it for all things of tablets. And we, the consumers, have played along with all day. When you sit down in your R&D labs and go back to this by buying these insipid tablets in millions. the drawing board to reinvent the entire tablet genre – you do PAINFUL SLATES not slap on a screen from the previous generation of tablets.

While a tablet is one of the most practical devices to carry The tablet category truly needed serious reinvention. around, the weakness of this device has been apparent from Look at how smartphones have evolved in the last years and the very start. It’s not that easy to hold for long periods of compare that to tablets and you suddenly realise what lagtime, leading to pressure on the wrist and shoulder, it’s imgards they are. It was time someone took this market by its possible to prop it up to watch a movie unless you buy an ugly neck and tried to change it completely. Lenovo has started fat case for it, typing on it is still the stuff that nightmares well on its quest; I truly hope some others will follow.

Rajiv Makhni is managing editor, Technology, NDTV, and the anchor of Gadget are made of, battery life while better than laptops is still quite Guru, Cell Guru and Newsnet 3 sucky for a device that is supposed to be with you all day, most

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

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PEOPLE

twitter.com/HTBrunch twitt

Photo: SANJEEV VERMA, SHUTTERSTOCK

R

HATERS GONNA HATE

AGHU HU RAM does sevse eral things.. He has acted in films,, he writes music music, he even n sings. sings And he is hated. ted. He is the executive ex producer of the 10-seasonold reality show MTV Roadies, where he’ss also the resident tyrant – you couldn’t have ve missed him harrying rying wannabe roadies during the auditions. He screams, swears and sometimes even physically hauls them out.

In his recently published memoir, REARVIEW: My Roadies Journey, he talks about his life with unprecedented ecedented honesty – growing wing up in Delhi, being bullied ullied (and often beaten ten up) in school, dropping opping out of college, getting etting married mar (he withheld sex from om his then girlfriend lfriend till she agreed a to marry ry him) and his side of the Roadies’ story.

When I met him last week, w he was affable, nice eve ven. He likes to talk about the profundity ofundity of life and human behaviour viour, what’s right and wrong. The he anger ang came and went in spurts. I wouldn’t ouldn’t mess with him, but for this interview, I did. Here are some excerpts:

In his new book, Raghu Ram, executive producer of MTV Roadies, puts forth his side of the story something wr wrong! I’m not going to stand it.

I’m not making a point just to the guy saying these things but to the ones bu watching the show also. And I believe I have succeeded on many levels and with a lot of people. In the process, I have generated hate, a lot of enemies, powerful people who are itching to attack me. That’s the price one pa pays.

Your aggression also Yo sen a message to sends the vie viewer.

Yes. And tha that message is thatt these ar are things to get pissed offf about.

Look, I didn didn’t want the auditions on air.. No Now that they are, a Pandora’s box x has opened. And I live with it every ry day da of my life.

The Rudest Man On TV

Why are you so awful to people on Roadies?

That’s the nature of the show. I’m trying to see whether you will work on the show or not. I don’t want people to flop over there. A lot of times people actually make me lose my temper. But half the time, it’s a test of courage. I come out much harder on the people I like in the auditions.

It’s easy to hate Raghu Ram. He’s mean and crass and everything in between. We met the man, here’s what he had to say

by Saudamini Jain

But you have no business being so incredibly rude to people!

These are just kids trying to act cool.

You’re assuming I judge them without knowing them. They answer questions on the form, I ask them to clarify, so I have enough knowledge about their point of view. When I tell them it’s wrong and they still give me stupid arguments, things tend to degenerate.

I think these guys are bullies, they’re bullying a group, Muslims, women, homosexuals, anyone else. And I don’t think that’s okay.

Your textbooks tell you women are equal to men, there’s unity in diversity... and yet if you come out here spouting [derogatory] lines, you’re growing up as somebody with an attitude which, for example, objectifies women. And they don’t even think they’re doing

(it later went international) on bikes, performing a series of tasks.

Over the years, it spiralled out of control. The auditions got nastier. Wannabe Roadies – many 18/19-year-olds – say idiotic things

and the hosts pick on them (you’ll see Raghu lose his temper more than a million times. He’ll swear at them – extreme profanities, all that effin jazz – he’ll shove them, he’ll reduce some to tears). The tasks

That’s not an excuse.

What’s your excuse?

What is Roadies?

In 2003, MTV Roadies started off as an adventure reality show. A group of young people were selected and they zigzagged through the country

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

So would you ou like the auditions to not be televised?

No, I don’t. Because with a lot of hatred, it also empowers me to do what I want to do, to have a voice.

A lot of people share my rage, whether you believe it or not. But it’s impotent rage. I’m able to do something about it and that makes the rest of the shit worth it.

And in the auditions, a lot of people have received high-fives, hugs and salutes on TV. Everybody who is selected gets a career in a lot of things.

What do your parents think of it?

They have told me again and again that they’re very proud of me.

But they’re okay with the rage?

My dad said, “Please try and be careful. Don’t treat kids so badly.”

But my work cannot be influenced by whether my father is watching me or his father is watching me, or if a political party is looking at this. So I told my father to back off

have gotten more crass (Enemas?

Seriously!) and the drama unbelievable (people fight, swear at each other, and mostly manipulate their fellow roadies).

It used to be a good show.

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PEOPLE

Photo courtesy: MTV.IN.COM

and he said, “It’s not that. I don’t like it when people say bad things about you.” So I understood that my parents must get affected at some point.

You were absent from season seven because you were burnt out.

Do you see that happening again?

It has happened again. I don’t want to do this season.

Do you plan to quit?

I plan to quit, the first chance I get.

I’m working on another show for MTV... What frustrates me about Roadies is that for somebody who writes songs, has sung a couple of songs (Ajay Devgn just picked up one), acts in Bollywood films, has written for Hindustan Times (in the Punjab edition), can conceptualise, execute, direct and edit...

I find it ridiculous that I am constrained to one show on television.

I’m not being ungrateful to the show. I owe it, that’s why I’m doing it. But it’s ridiculous that I should end my television career as just the Roadies guy.

I did Splitsvilla [MTV’s dating reality show, also very crass] too, but I didn’t like the show. I quit after two years.

What didn’t you like about Splitsvilla?

The humiliation that you talk about, that was happening there.

THREE MEN IN A BOAT (TO SAY NOTHING OF THE DOG)

Raghu Ram, his twin brother Rajiv Lakshman and his blue-eyed boy Rannvijay Singh are the three presenters of the reality show MTV Roadies

I wasn’t doing it. But I saw it happening. It was aimed at being a success, unlike Roadies, which was aimed at being just a show [that happened to be successful].

If you have a son, would you want him to be like you?

I would want him to be his own man, whichever way it is. I wouldn’t want him to be the way I was, the way I am, because my growing-up influences were very different. You should not teach your kids what to think, you should teach them how to think.

The rest is their choice.

So it’s all because of your ‘growingup influences’.

twitter.com/HTBrunch and that is just about two-three sentences in my book [But as we grew older and entered our teens, our attitudes and behaviour changed; we would roam the streets of Munirka and Vasant Vihar, not really looking for trouble but not hiding from it either. And we got into a lot of it. All it would take was for one of our friends to come up to us saying ‘panga hua hai’ and we would leave everything and follow him, ready for a fight. ‘Fight first, ask questions later’ was our philosophy.]

But it’s not just me, it’s a way of life in Delhi and a lot of places in India and the world.

I don’t talk about it because I don’t want to glorify that. I don’t want to paint myself as a victim.

You’re a bundle of contradictions.

Everything I went through got me here. If I could change anything, I would. But then, I wouldn’t be here. I didn’t enjoy getting beaten up but it shaped me. Everything I have done comes from disgust at bullying.

I’ve talked about it in my book.

There are three different versions of me: Raghu Ram, Roadies Raghu and Fun Raghu. But now, I have distanced myself from the Roadies Raghu.

You often talk about being bullied, but you grew up to be quite the Munirka ka goonda. You never talk about that...

He’s protected me. He’s done things I wouldn’t do. But when I say bye to Roadies, I want to say bye to Roadies Raghu. I’d like him to chill.

I have spoken at length about the beatings but when I stopped getting beaten up, I started fighting,

Do you like the Roadies Raghu?

saudamini.jain@hindustantimes.com Follow @SaudaminiJain on Twitter

STYLE FILE

Photos: SHUTTERSTOCK

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They can be torture to wear, but they’re sexy. Here’s our three-step guide on...

How To Be High On Heels

by Yashica Dutt

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Try different heels in the store but buy them only if you can forget you’re wearing them

GREED, HIGH heels are the worst. But you need them, because let’s face it, nothing else can give you the strut that makes you feel you can take over the world. While some heels are friendlier than others and are easier to wear (below four inches), others appear no less than modern devices for foot torture (the toe crushing six foot stiletto variety).

And unless you’re walking the ramp every week, here’s the advice you need to survive in heels.

#1

WHEN YOU TWO MEET

No matter how attractive they appear, DON’T go for them if they make you uncomfortable or are higher than you can handle. Try different heels in the store and buy them only if you forget you are wearing them after a while.

Give your toes some wriggle room but not so much that they keep sliding to the front. And if you have slightly wider feet, check if you can get them stretched to fit. Don’t compromise on quality.

Well-made shoes that have better cushioning and softer leather that’ll prevent blisters, are better than cheap plastic and will be ergonomically designed to support your foot.

them in with thick socks instead of wearing them directly.

Hang around watching TV or read a book with the heels still on. If you are new to this, then take them out to different surfaces like carpets, marble floors, tarmacs and gravel. You’ll thank yourself for the experience later.

#3

#2

GETTING THEM HOME

Get to know them first.

Stuff them with some old socks or newspapers for two or three days and break

NOVEMBER 24, 2013

WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP

No shoes are perfect but they can be if you use slight manipulation.

Use heel liner inserts and cushions for the ball of your foot which are easily available at shoe stores and will keep your feet snug. If the sole of your shoe is thin, you can also use extra padding on the sole.

You’ve probably heard this a billion times, but walk in a straight line, take small steps and place your heel ahead of the toe.

And soon, you’ll be sleeping with the enemy. yashica.dutt@hindustantimes.com

PERSONAL AGENDA

twitter.com/HTBrunch

Actor

Gulshan Grover BIRTHDAY SUN SIGN PLACE OF HOMETOWN SCHOOL/COLLEGE Shri Ram College of ComBIRTH Mumbai

September 21 Virgo

FIRST HIGH POINT OF BREAK YOUR LIFE Rocky (1981)

merce, Delhi University

Delhi

When my 23-year-old son was appointed the business director at the MGM headquarters in Hollywood

LOW POINT OF YOUR LIFE

Several things make me low – be it the breaking of a marriage or not getting your due when you deserve it

CURRENTLY I AM...

Looking forward to the release of Bullett Raja and also Yaariyan

You are a commerce graduate. So, Your favourite role. how did acting happen?

I Am Kalam. I really enjoyed Initially, I did not think films working in that movie. would be my What is your style of calling in life. But acting?

YOUR after doing theaIt’s natural and must FAVOURITE tre with the Little be maintained on Theatre Group, and off screen. It FOOD I realised that I should never look could shine in this forced. field and moved to What are you most Mumbai. comfortable in?

If you could play the Jeans, undershirt hero, which character and a shirt. would you love to Actors you enjoyed portray? working with.

Gatsby from Definitely Shah The Great Rukh Khan, Gatsby. I feel that Manisha Koirala I could have done as well as Katrina a better job.

[Kaif].

The most ‘bad man’ thing you The biggest risk you have taken. have ever done.

When I consciously decided I don’t do anything bad to be a baddie in Bollywood. consciously. I’m a God fearHollywood was a big risk too. ing person and immediately Your best memories of Delhi. apologise if I wrong someone.

They have to be from Delhi Today, heroes do negative roles as University, especially in well. How do you feel about that? winter. Those long mufflers Every actor wants a challenge everyone used to wear and and should strive to do somethe college festivals. It was so thing different. The only thing much fun. is that the heroes shouldn’t shy away from a sad ending.

How different is your negative role in Bullett Raja?

The villain in Bullett Raja is respectable, stylish and powerful. He also has a romantic and sexual relationship with the heroine.

What is the big difference between Bollywood and Hollywood?

In Bollywood, people are very hardworking and rather accommodating. In Hollywood, everything works according to a plan. There is always a designated person to take necessary decisions.

Photos: THINKSTOCK

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Grilled fish

5

Your take on the new actors in Bollywood.

They are very competitive and can’t afford to make mistakes. They are more talented than the previous guys.

A dessert that describes you.

Tiramisu. It is gentle and sweet, and can be preserved for days.

Five musts in your wardrobe.

A pair of jeans, boots, undershirts, casual blazers and my Eternity cologne.

Your fitness fundas.

I go to the gym. I swim and lift weights. I also practice a bit of yoga and meditation.

— Interviewed by Veenu Singh

QUALITIES OF A BAD MAN

He should be a very good actor He shouldn’t be a bad person in real life He should be physically fit He must have the face for it He should be able to deal with a bad ending

Photo: SANJEEV VERMA