Foreveryoungseptember2017

SEPTEMBER 2017 |

FREE

Western New York’s FREE Monthly Magazine For Adults 50+, With More Than 70,000 Readers

Middleport Family Health Providing Health Support for 30 years

Wills and Estate Planning | 2017 Forever Young Faves – Voting Begins! | Touring Montreal

SEPTEMBER 2017

Butterfly Garden

9

Curtain Up!

10

HANCI Events

28

On the cover: Stephen Giroux and Amanda Zelinski, Middleport Family Health Center. Photo by kc kratt. Bottom right: Montreal street scene Photo by Victor Block

Life & Leisure

Features: Estate Planning

5

Crossword: Science 101........................................... StatePoint Media

6

Watch Your Wicket!........................................ Decon Dams-O'Connor

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Blessed Event..................................................................Ted Rickard

Food 8

Fall Bounty............................................................... Hilary Diodato

Home & Garden 9

Butterfly Garden.............................................................Carol Ann Harlos

20 Making Your Final Wishes Known............................. Judith Rucki 22 Estate Planning......................................................Rebecca Cuthbert

Let's Talk About 24 Where the Money Goes............................................... Judith Rucki

My WNY 26 Gayle Murphy....................................................... Anthony Chabala

Arts

News

10 September Theater..............................................................Donna Hoke 12 Must-See TIFF................................................. Christopher Schobert

28 HANCI Celebrates 90 Years.......................Wendy Guild Swearingen

Cover: Middleport Family Health Center

Getaways

18 Pharmacy Info and Services............................................ MFHC

32 Montreal........................................................................Victor Block

Ever y Issue: Calendars 3 | Bingo Buzz 14 | Classifieds & Companion Corner 36 | Noteworthy 37

There’s always something happening at

It’s a Fun Fall at Vinecroft!

Alzheimer’s Walk/Open House September 16th • 11 am

For Independent Seniors

Maintenance Free Apartments and Patio Homes Make Our Neighborhood Your Neighborhood!

Walk starts at 11:15 All ages welcome!

A picnic lunch will be served

Entertainment by the Colgate Thirteen

FREE

Daily Exercis Classes Ope e to Public. Ca n for Schedu ll le

(An all male A cappella group from Colgate University) * A minimum $10 donation is required

Fun and Friendship begin here. Visit us and see for yourself!

Call For a Tour | 716.741.7741 | 5945 Vinecroft Drive | Clarence Center, NY 14032 | www.vinecroft.org

Family Owned Since 1947

Home of the Living Memorial Carl Evan Fretthold President

James P. Fretthold, Licensed Manager

1241 Oliver Street North Tonawanda, NY 14120 Ph: 716-692-2610 frettholdfuneralhome.com

EDITOR’S NOTE OUR 29TH YEAR

1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103 Buffalo, NY 14207 Phone 716.783.9119 Fax 716.783.9983 www.foreveryoungwny.com

PUBLISHER

Sharon C. Levite Editor-In-Chief............................................................................Elizabeth Licata

elicata@buffalospree.com

Editor......................................................................... Wendy Guild Swearingen wswearingen@buffalospree.com

Creative Director........................................................................ Chastity O’Shei

coshei@buffalospree.com

Production Director........................................................................ Jennifer Tudor

jtudor@buffalospree.com

Traffic Coordinator........................................................... Adam Van Schoonhoven Lead Designer............................................................................ Nicholas Vitello Senior Graphic Designers.............................................. Josh Flanigan, Kim Miers,

Andrea Rowley, Jean-Pierre Thimot Director of Marketing...................................................................... Brittany Frey

bfrey@buffalospree.com

Director of Advertising............................................................. Barbara E. Macks

bmacks@buffalospree.com Special Projects Manager ......................................................... Marianne Potratz Senior Account Executives............. Wendy Burns, Bruce Halpern, Mary Beth Holly,

Caroline Kunze, Robin Kurss, Robin Lenhard,

Marianne Potratz, Betty Tata, Lori Teibel National Ad Director...................................................................... Terri Downey Spree Marketplace..................................................................... Louis J. Aguglia Administrative & Finance Director.......................................................................Michele Ferguson Administrative & Marketing Coordinator....................................................... Angela Gambacorta Classifieds Sales............................................................................... Robin Kurss

From the Editor

"See you in September..."

Remember that old song by by The Tempos? Well, summer is nearly through and we're moving into another gorgeous Western New York autumn. Could that be a metaphor for your life right now?

If you're fifty-five or older, it's especially important to get your affairs in order. Have you created a will? Does it need to be updated?

What about your end-of-life wishes? Does somebody know about them? While it can be a difficult topic to think about, there may come a time when we can no longer make decisions for ourselves.

Read through the features in this issue to get a jump on getting your estate organized.

On a more pleasant note, autumn is also the time to harvest the region's bounty. Check out

Hilary Diodato's easy recipes for apple and pumpkin butter. Also, it's that time of year again–be sure to fill out the Forever Young Faves ballot!

Wendy Guild Swearingen wswearingen@buffalospree.com 783-9119 ext. 2253

BUFFALO SPREE PUBLISHING, INC.

President & CEO....................................................................... Sharon C. Levite Associate Publisher/Editor-In-Chief............................................... Elizabeth Licata Associate Publisher/Advertising................................................ Barbara E. Macks Senior Vice President/Creative Director......................................... Chastity O’Shei Vice President/Administrative & Finance.....................................Michele Ferguson Vice President/Production.............................................................. Jennifer Tudor Corporate Counsel....................................................... Timothy M. O’Mara, Esq. Forever Young is published monthly, with an annual Senior Directory. Copyright ©2017 by Buffalo Spree Publishing, Inc. 1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103, Buffalo, NY 14207 and is open Mon.–Fri. 8:30 a.m.–5 p.m. The entire contents of Forever Young are copyrighted 2017 by Buffalo Spree Publishing, Inc. and may not be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part without written permission from the publishers. All rights reserved.

Display advertising information and rates may be obtained by calling (716) 783-9119 ext 2250. Standard mail postage paid at Buffalo, NY 14207. POSTMASTER send change of address to Forever Young, 1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103, Buffalo, NY 14207. Manuscripts and free calendar listings should be sent to the editor (wswearingen@buffalospree.com) at 1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103, Buffalo, NY 14207. Material cannot be returned unless accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope of adequate size and strength. The publisher does not take responsibility for the accuracy or legitimacy of the advertising message or any aspect of the business operation or conduct of the advertisers in the paper.

This publication is a member of the North American Mature Publishers Association.

Membership in NAMPA includes verification of member’s print & circulation totals.

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www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

VOTE NOW!

Please see the ballot on page 31 to vote for your favorites!

FOREVER YOUNG SEPTEMBER CALENDAR 1+ Erie County STAY FIT DINING PROGRAM offers a hot noon meal at 45 locations in Erie County. Menus and site list at erie.gov/stayfit or 858-7639.

1+

Tonawanda T.O.P.S. CLUB, weekly meetings on Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m. at Blessed Sacrament Parish, Claremont Avenue. For information, call 836-7255.

5,

19 Buffalo HEADWAY SUPPORT GROUPS, 2635 Delaware Ave. For individuals who have sustained brain injuries as well as their families and caregivers; exchange information and resources, and find mutual support and encouragement. Peer Support (enter at Suite B), first and third Tuesday, 6:30 to 8 p.m.; Caregivers Support (enter at Suite B), first Tuesday, 6:30 to 8 p.m.; Women’s Survivors Support (enter at Suite E), first Tuesday, 1 to 2:30 p.m. Info: 408-3100 or headwayofwny.org

1+ Gowanda HEALTH COMMUNITY ALLIANCE Activities open to the public age 50+, no residency requirements) held at the Concord Senior Center, 1 School Street, Gowanda; for schedule visit communityalliance.org; 532-1010 or beemana@hcanetwork.org

Farnham T.O.P.S. CLUB weekly meetings held Tuesdays at Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 10633 Church St., starting at 9 a.m. Call 934-9619.

1+

5

Niagara Falls SENIOR C O M PA N I O N / F O S T E R GRANDPARENT PROGRAM Looking for seniors who enjoy working with their peers or children. Volunteers receive a tax-free stipend, transportation assistance and supplemental insurance coverage while volunteering. If you are 55+, have a minimum of 15 hours per week to give and want to make a difference, contact Nora Aloian (SCP) at 285-8224 ext. 217or Jennifer Britton (FGP) at 285-8224 ext. 228

1+

West Seneca UNITED CHURCH MANOR’S LUNCH PROGRAM is looking for volunteers in the West Seneca/Cheektowaga area.

Information: 668-5804.

2+

Lockport T.O.P.S. CLUB, weekly meetings 9 a.m. Saturdays at Odd Fellows and Rebekah Nursing Home, 104 Old Niagara Road. Call 433-1693

3+ Buffalo MEDITATION, 2:30 p.m., El Buen Amigo, 114 Elmwood Ave. Free every Sunday. Meditation unites with creative arts and pain management. Practitioner Sondra Holland welcomes people of all ages. Wear comfortable clothes. For information, Sondra: 947-5092; store: 885-6343.

4+ Tonawanda TONAWANDA TOPS CLUB #50 Weekly meetings on Mondays, weigh-in 6pm/meeting starts at 6:25pm, Zion United Church Koenig & Parker Tonawanda; 716-9126875

5+

Depew BREAST CANCER NETWORK OF WNY Monthly meeting second Tuesday, 6 p.m., Bella Moglie Bldg., 3297 Walden Ave. Call 706-0060 or visit bcnwny.org. Professional support group will be held at 8 p.m

5+

Buffalo TAI CHI: MOVING FOR BETTER BALANCE 10:30 a.m. every Tuesday, Tosh Collins Senior Center, 35 Cazenovia St. For more information, contact monicazucco@gmail.com.

5+

Niagara Falls T.O.P.S. CLUB, Enjoy light sitting and standing yoga at 5:30 p.m. before weigh in 6 p.m., and a brief interactive educational program at 7 p.m. Facebook: TOPS #173 Niagara Falls, NY. or call 550-1232. Meets Tuesdays at Riverside Presbyterian Church, 815 - 84th St., Niagara Falls

6 Amherst FREE RESPITE CARE PROGRAM, 10:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m., Trinity Old Lutheran Church 3445 Sheridan Drive. Held first Wednesday of the month, for those caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s or any form of dementia. A morning snack and nutritious lunch are provided. For more information on registering for the program, call 836-4868.

6+ Boston HATHA YOGA Wednesday’s at 7 pm. Gentle and meditative. Bring your own mat. Faith United Church of Christ, 8651 Boston State Road, Boston, NY. For more info call church office 716-941-3529 6

Williamsville WOMEN’S LYMPHEDEMA SUPPORT GROUP, 5:45 p.m. the first Wednesday of each month. Sheridan Surgical room, 4510 Bailey Ave., Williamsville.

Call 908-4149

7+

Cheektowaga T.O.P.S. MEETING, Thursdays at 9 a.m., St. Luke’s Lutheran Church, 900 Maryvale Drive (corner of Union Road). Come for the love, support and friendship.

For information, call Karen at 2472334

7+ Buffalo GENTLE YOGA, 11

a.m. Thursdays, Tosh Collins Senior Center, 35 Cazenovia St. Bring a yoga mat. Info: 828-1093

5, 16 WNY RESPITE SERVICES for those with Alzheimer’s and related dementia on first Tuesday, 5:30 p.m. in Williamsville, and third Saturday, 11 a.m. in Amherst. Location info: (800) 272-3900.

7+ Akron T.O.P.S. CLUB Every Thursday, 5:30-6:45, at the Akron/ Newstead Senior Center, 5691 Cummings Rd. WE offer tools, programs, support, fellowship and recognition for healthy living and weight management. For information call Diane @ 716-542-4980

6+

7

Middleport T.O.P.S. CLUB

Scout House, Rochester Rd., Middleport.

Wednesday weigh-in: 3:15–4 p.m.; meeting: 4–5 p.m. Contact Terry at 7357666

6+ Orchard Park TAI CHI

Advanced Tai Chi in the Park at Brush Mountain. Classes are held on Wednesdays at 11 am. Tai Chi builds endurance, increases flexibility and balance. New students are welcome.

Please contact the Orchard Park Senior Center at 662-6452 for information.

Cost $30 for a 8 week session.

Amherst WNY NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS (NAMI) Family to family classes meet once a week for 12 weeks 4:45 p.m. in two locations for families of people living with mental illness: St. Paul’s Evangelical Lutheran Church, 4007 Main St., Amherst.

9

Elma GENEOLOGY FAIR Family tree displays, surname look-ups, research assistance, and refreshments.

11 a.m.–3 p.m. at St. Gabriel's Church, 5271 Clinton St., Elma. Info: 631-9698

10 East Aurora 45 YEARS A week before Kate (Charlotte Rampling) and Geoff (Tom Courteney) Mercer's 45th wedding anniversary party, a letter arrives sayig the body of Geoff's first love has been discovered preserved in a Swiss Alps glacier. By the time the party happens, there may not be a marriage left to celebrate. 4 p.m., Roycroft Film Society Parkdale Elementary School, 141 Girard Ave., East Aurora. roycroftcampuscorporation.com 12

Hamburg ALZHEIMER’S CARE-GIVER SUPPORT GROUP for males at Wesleyan Church, 4999 McKinley Pkwy. 2nd Tues. 626-0600, alz.org/wnyc

12

Orchard Park ALIENATED G R A N D P A R E N T S ANONYMOUS, INC., meetings 1 p.m. the second Tuesday of month, 4295 S. Buffalo St.

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Williamsville MCGUIRE GROUP MEMORY CARE SUPPORT GROUPS: General Support Group is second Wednesday, 3 p.m. at Harris Hill Nursing Facility, 2699 Wehrle Dr., Williamsville; Daughters’ Support Group, 5 p.m.

Monthly support groups coordinated with the Alzheimer’s Association, with caregiving tips and coping mechanisms.

For more information, call 632-3700 or visit mcguiregroup.com

15 Akron HEARTS AND HANDS Seeks volunteers to support caregivers of loved ones with early stages of dementia by providing an engaging, safe, and friendly environment to leave their loved one while taking care of their own medical, social, and emotional needs.

Hosted by the Wright Center, 11 Church Street, Village of Akron the third Friday each month from 1–4:30 p.m. Contact Eugene Abrahamson at 406-8311 ext. 102, e-mail volunteer@ heartsandhandsfia.org or hnhcares.org 16 West Seneca FREE BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT SESSION, hosted by The McGuire Group for anyone coping with grief, sadness or loss at 5 pm at Seneca Health Care Center, 2987 Seneca St. Held third Wednesday of the month.

Those interested in attending can call 828-0500.

September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 3

FOREVER YOUNG SEPTEMBER CALENDAR 16

Amherst WNY NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS (NAMI) held third Wednesday of the month at 7 p.m. in two locations for families of people living with mental illness: St. Paul’s Evangelical Lutheran Church, 4007 Main St., Amherst. Southtowns: Lake Shore Behavioral Health, 3176 Abbott Rd., Orchard Park.

17 Hamburg SHOW & SALE OF

DOLLHOUSE MINIATURES The Grange Building on the Fairgrounds, 5820 S. Park Ave. Info: denisejclark@aol.com or 741-2994

18

Niagara Falls NIAGARA FALLS SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB An active 50-plus crowd. Dances on the third Friday every month at 7pm at the Buff Social Club, 2565 Young St,.

Niagara Falls, NY. Cost: $6 (Members

$4) Monthly activities include picnics, parties, games, door prizes, and 50/50 raffle. Info: 439-8387

19

Buffalo LGBTQ MEMORY LOSS CAREGIVERS PROGRAM: The Pride Center of Western New York offers the LGBTQ Memory Loss Caregivers Program providing support and education for people providing care for a person with Alzheimer’s Disease and other dementias. Third Tuesday each month at 5:30 p.m, Pride Center, 200 South Elmwood Ave., Buffalo, 852-7743 or pridecenterwny.org

24 Batavia POWERFUL TOOLS

FOR CAREGIVERS A free caregiver education course, Starts Aug. 24 and runs through Sept. 28. The Genesee County Office for the Aging and the WNY Alzheimer’s Caregiver Partnership are sponsoring the sixweek course. Open to the community.

Thursdays, 12:30 to 3:15 p.m. at the Genesee County for the Aging office, 2 Bank St., Batavia. For more information or to register, please contact the Genesee County Office for the Aging at (585) 343-1611.

19 Buffalo OLMSTED CENTER 27 FOR FOR SIGHT Dining in the Dark Gala, guests are faced with the unique challenge of dining blindfolded while one of our therapists guide them through th e meal 5:30–8:30 p.m. at Hyatt Hotel, 2 Fountain Plaza, Buffalo.

Info: 882-1025; olmstedcenter.org

Amherst AMERST CENTER SENIOR SERVICES Annual Community Volunteer Fair, from 4–6 p.m. Over 100 organizations including cultural institutions, government agencies and non-profits have been invited to participate to share their volunteer opportunities.

DANCE CALENDAR MONDAYS W. Seneca BALLROOM DANCING

BY CAROL is a 6-week class @ St. David’s Church, 3951 Seneca St. 7:30–9:30 p.m. Info: 824-0504.

Sloan CLOGGING LESSONS

by Kickin’ Rhythm Cloggers, 6:30 p.m. @ St. Andrew’s Parish Hall, 111 Crocker St., Bldg. 1. kickinrhythmcloggers.com, (585) 457-4455.

TUESDAYS Buffalo LINDY FIX 8–10 p.m. @ Polish Cadets Hall, 927 Grant St. lindyfix.com, swingbuffalo.com.

WEDNESDAYS N. Ton. DANCING WITH DOTTIE AND FRIENDS country-style line lessons, 7:30 p.m. @ Pendleton Center Meth. Church, 6864 Campbell Blvd. 688-6026 or 625-8306.

Amherst AMHERST VICTORIAN DANCE SOCIETY Authentic music, dress and dance of Queen Victoria's time. New members and guests welcomed! 1st Wednesdays @ Buffalo Niagara Heritage Village in Amherst & 4th Wednesdays @ VFW Post in Village of Williamsville. 7:00 p.m. Info: Geraldine, 877-0222 or amherstvictoriandance.org 4

www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

THURSDAYS Kenmore JACKIE’S THURSDAY NIGHT DANCES @ Brounshidle Post, 3354 Delaware Ave. Lessons: 7 p.m. Open dancing: 8 p.m. 6918654.

Ongoing WNY BELLYDANCE CLASSES 560-1891, nadiaibrahim.com.

Kenmore Monthly 691-8654

JACKIE’S dance. for

DANCE Call details.

WNY BALLROOM SOCIAL DANCE, Argentine tango and belly dance instruction with Carol Allen; N. Collins and Amherst. 337-3092 or callen8801@aol.com.

West Seneca BALLROOM DANCE classes @ 1761 Orchard Park Rd., 771-3110, ballroomiliana.com.

WNY DANCE W/ ERIN BAHN 997-7190 or erinbahn.com.

ARGENTINE TANGO IN BUFFALO Dancing & Classes traviswidricktango.com Contact Travis @ 517-7047

CROSSWORD 11. So be it 12. Trapper's bounty 15. Israeli money 20. "____-____-la" refrain 22. Lake in Provence 24. Dissenting clique 25. *Galilei: "And yet it ____" 26. At less then 90 degrees 27. Forty-niner, e.g.

29. *m in F = ma 31. Way to seal an envelope 32. Poacher's ware 33. Bird of prey nest 34. *Highest point in a wave 36. Source of cocaine 38. Kind of seaweed

SPONSORED BY

42. Two diverged, one not taken and other taken 45. Causing one to need rest 49. X 51. *He had a telescope named after him 54. Inuit shelter 56. *a.k.a. sodium borate 57. LeBron's goal 58. 43,560 square feet 59. Dam-like structure 60. Immanuel ____, German philosopher 61. Eye up and down 62. None of this for the weary 63. ____-do-well 64. Cocoyam 67. Grass bristle

THEME: SCIENCE 101 ACROSS 1. Glass piece 6. *It can be measured via carbon decay 9. Sandwich alternative 13. Free-for-all 14. Madame Tussauds' medium 15. State of dishonor 16. Kidney, e.g.

17. Cleopatra's killer 18. Arthur Hailey bestseller 19. *Force pulling two objects together 21. *One on Mendeleev's table 23. Organ of balance 24. Criticism 25. British mom 28. Tibetan priest 30. Gluten-free dieter's disease 35. Relating to #23 Across 37. Deficiency 39. Goes with onions?

40. "In ____ veritas" 41. Daisylike bloom 43. Apple leftover 44. Choose Trump, e.g.

46. Feed storage 47. Actor Kristofferson 48. Gibraltar or Bering

50. Moonfish 52. Hitherto 53. Jockey's leash 55. Give a nickname to 57. *"A Brief History of Time" author 61. "One of Us" singer Joan 65. *Most of Earth's hydrosphere 66. Fall behind 68. American Akita, e.g.

69. Circular gasket 70. Nocturnal flyer 71. Verb derived from "laser" 72. Chipper 73. Smallest whole number 74. "_____! Read all about it!"

DOWN 1. Urban haze 2. Drosselmeyer's title 3. *Pond organism 4. Ransack or plunder 5. Coping mechanism 6. "And ____ we go!"

7. *Low density state of matter 8. Kick out of school 9. "For ____ the Bell Tolls" 10. *60 miles/hour, e.g.

Sleep well Tonight for a Better Tomorrow.

More than 70 million Americans suffer from some for of sleep disorder.

Insomnia and other sleep disorders can have a major impact on health, productivity and interpersonal relationships

Visit the Dent Sleep Center Today Amherst • Orchard Park (716)250-2000 • www.dentinstitute.com The solution for this month’s puzzle can be found on page 32.

September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 5

LIFE & LEISURE

Watch Your Wicket!

STORY AND PHOTOS BY DEVON DAMS-O’CONNOR

The Buffalo Croquet Club plays on Monday nights from 7 to10 p.m. in June, July, and August.

D

riving down North Buffalo’s Parkside Avenue on a summer Monday night, the curious might catch a glimpse of activity through dense hedges that line the tall iron fence surrounding the southern lawn of the Parkside Lodge.

The hundred-year-old former lawn bowling greens are home turf to the Buffalo Croquet Club, which plays on Monday nights from 7 to 10 p.m. in June, July, and August.

On game night, fifteen to twenty players, casually dressed men and women of all ages, sip from beer cans or lemonade bottles and trade a little good-natured ribbing as they contemplate their next shot. The game is complex, like pool mixed with chess; some members say it takes a year to fully understand. To the uninitiated, it looks like a lot of standing around with an occasional player approaching a ball, bending at the waist to carefully position a longhandled wooden mallet, and finally swinging it in a pendulum motion between their legs to send the ball rolling towards a destination that’s not always obvious. To the seasoned player, though, the game’s skill and strategy, social component, and outdoor setting make it a favorite warm-weather hobby that can be played for a lifetime.

Actual croquet is definitely not 6

the same as the game played with flamingo bird mallets and hedgehog balls by the Queen of Hearts and Alice when she visits Wonderland.

Instead, the 150-year-old game of English aristocratic origin involves an even number of two to six players trying to hit their colored ball in a certain sequence through a series of six wickets (the name for those arches stuck into the ground), ending at a striped stake positioned in the middle of the court. Points are earned when the ball passes through a wicket, extra strokes are earned for hitting an opponent’s ball, and players use both offensive and defensive tactics to influence the path of the rival player. The side that completes the course first wins.

While the Buffalo Croquet Club has been operating informally for twenty years, the organization became an officially recognized

www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

club last year and earned the title of “New Club of the Year” from the United States Croquet Association.

Bob Gannon, a founding member, says it all started when he received a croquet set as a wedding shower gift, got a few friends together, and started playing in different backyards and parks around Western New York. The roving posse of players, most of whom were learning as they went, altered the rules a little to invent a nine-wicket version to fit a backyard environment and make the games a little more challenging.

“Real” players started to join the group and brought the finer points of strategy, technique, and the sixwicket tournament-style of play.

With an elevated style of play, the club contacted the Buffalo Olmsted Parks Conservancy to rent the former bowling greens in Delaware Park, which offer a more firm level playing

surface with short, professionally manicured grass similar to a golf green. The four public courts are illuminated at night, making evening play both possible and enjoyable.

The club has recently grown to twenty-five members, each of whom pays $50 a season to cover court fees and attend the Monday night pickup games when they’re able.

New members who are well-versed in the rules are welcome; simply stop by during game nights to join.

Last year, the Croquet Club hosted its first Invitational Tournament, which boasted a sold-out roster of local hobbyists and top players from Florida, the Virgin Islands, New York, England, Toronto, and elsewhere, all of whom travel regularly to play the game and came to support Buffalo’s fledgling tournament. Participants wear the customary white garb from head to toe, a tradition that dates back a century (although no one is really sure why; some speculate it’s because white clothing keeps players cooler on sunny summertime courts), and play against similarly skilled opponents.

Tournament Manager Ryan Thompson says this year’s tournament, held August 4–6 at the Delaware Park greens, sold out three months ahead of time and formed a wait list of players. Thompson says many competitors are returning for a second year after being pleasantly surprised by both the turnout and the venue, which ranks alongside more established clubs with locker rooms, a reception area, four manicured and illuminated courts, and in true Buffalo style, plenty of sanctioned cocktail and dining events for tournament competitors.

With short summers, a rich local history experiencing a renaissance, a healthy taste for competition, and a penchant for socializing, perhaps it shouldn’t be at all surprising that Buffalonians found a way to turn a previously elite sport into an enjoyable Friday night outdoors with friends old and new. FY Devon Dams-O’Connor Buffalo-based writer.

is

a

LIFE & LEISURE

Blessed Event

BY TED RICKARD

W

hen the family begins to include great grandchildren, it takes memories to counter disbelief.

I can’t believe it was that long ago that we learned our daughter and her husband were expecting another child, now that child is about to become a mother herself.

Despite the anxiety and restless nights that childbirth brings to all the family—especially for the grandmother—it was welcome news.

We had just about resigned ourselves to having, from the oldest of our daughters, only two grandchildren, Missy then age eight and Bobby then six. But, apparently, there was to be an encore. However, it took Missy telling us all about it for the matter to come home with the bright edges of reality.

“Do you know Mommy is going to have another baby, Grandpa?”

Somehow the child was convinced her grandfather was woefully out of the loop and unaware of anything that’s happened in the family or in the world during her own lifespan. “It’s either a boy or a girl,” she explained. “But it’s still real tiny.”

“Oh,” I said, and waited. I had no idea where mother-daughter confidence or fifth grade “Life Science” would begin or end. “Grandma already knows all about it,” Missy added.

This much I could have guessed by myself.

Missy was not, however, at all sure of this the way I was. “Mommy said she wasn’t expecting this.” I was going to be enlightened. “Daddy said Mommy had lost count but he sounded happy about it.” Missy looked puzzled. “I was going to ask him what Mommy was supposed to be counting. But Mommy said it was the champagne they had when it was their anniversary. Then Daddy said it was the best champagne he’d ever had and he laughed. Then he said it again, so he must have thought that was funny. Daddy’s always saying things

that make him laugh, even when he’s the only one who does.”

“Mommy smiled, too, but she didn’t think it was all that funny and said she didn’t really get the joke and she said Daddy didn’t have to bother explaining it to her because she really wasn’t interested right now.” Missy looked thoughtful, recalling the scene.

“I guess this was because she was sick to her stomach, and went real fast into the bathroom, even though everybody else had the same thing she did for breakfast and they didn’t get sick.

“Anyway, Daddy quit laughing pretty quick and said he was going to drop us off at school on his way to work—even if it did make him a little late—and he put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen real nice. That made Mommy smile when she got out of the bathroom. So she must have felt better.”

Somehow I felt I had to get back into this conversation. “Do you want the new baby to be a boy or a girl?” I asked.

“Well . . . ” she began, and suddenly she was thirty-something. “I’ve given that a lot of thought. It would be nice to have a little sister. I could teach her a lot of things—stuff I’ve already learned and things about school, for instance. And I’ve still got some toys and two old dolls that I’ve outgrown.”

Then she thought of something and was back to age eight again. “But I’d still be daddy’s princess.” Her chin tilted up. “Just like always.”

Absorbed by my own flashback—a years-ago tableau featuring her mother and her mother’s sisters, I asked “Daddy could have more than one princess, couldn’t he?”

Something told me we should cover this quickly.

The question was considered at length. “Well, I guess it would be OK. Reluctant, but the words finally came out and I felt free to breathe deeply again.

“Does your daddy want a boy or a girl?” I was sure it was time to move on, while I had the chance.

“Daddy put his arm around Mommy and said he’d be happy with either one, as long as it can hit an outside slider. Then he laughed again but I don’t see why. Mommy just shook her head when he said that.”

Missy scratched the back of one leg with the foot of the other while she thought some more. “I don’t really know which I want either—boy or girl. Bobby wants a little brother, he says. But what does a six-year-old know about it?”

I could answer that one. Probably as much as a great grandfather. FY Ted Rickard’s book, Anything Worth Knowing I Learned from the Grandkids, is available from Amazon. com

The Olear Team Anne Kader sres, crp

Licensed Associate Real Estate Broker NYS Licensed Residential Real Estate Appraiser Senior Real Estate Specialist

Multi-generational daughter of WNY real estate agent Milton Kader

Call/Text: 716.830.6366 | Alkader@Olear.com 8 8 0 . 4 4 4 2

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1244 Niagara Falls Boulevard Buffalo, NY 14150 | 8180 Transit Road Williamsville, NY 14221 September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 7

FOOD

Celebrating Fall’s Bounty

BY HILARY DIODATO

W

ith September rolling around, it’s time for all things autumnal: gourds, scarecrows, flannel shirts, and, of course, apples, pumpkins, and cinnamon. You might be inspired by the first sign of a chill in the air to deck yourself out in your coziest sweater and boots and head out to your local orchard or pumpkin patch to pick your personal stock of apples (or pumpkins) to make the recipes below. However, if you’re like me and you’ve realized that such romantic notions of produce collection are sullied in real life by strong winds, cold, and waiting around ages for the farm truck to bring you back to your car, rest assured that you can find a great selection of local produce at any of the area’s smaller grocery stores. I’m even recommending canned pureed pumpkin (gasp!) in my recipe below since the magic is in caramelizing that fruit into butter…not necessarily hacking apart and roasting a whole raw pumpkin.

While apple and pumpkin butter are naturals on toast or as a yogurt or cheesecake topping, you can also break into new territory by serving them with a cheese plate, with roasted pork tenderloin, or in fall-inspired smoothies or granola bars to replace some of the sugar. Note that both of the recipes below use a crockpot—a smaller version (1.5- to 2-quart size) is recommended. You could make these recipes on the stove, but they require a lot of babysitting, since they can easily burn or bubble over.

Apple Butter Yield: about 2 cups Ingredients: 1.5 pounds apples* – peeled, cored, and minced (feel free to use a food processor to get the apple chopped very finely) ½ cup packed brown sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon Pinch salt *Braeburn, Cortland, Jonagold, Jonathan, or McIntosh recommended.

Method: Combine all ingredients in the slow cooker.

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www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

Cook on low for 12 hours, then uncover and cook for 1-2 hours more, or until the butter is thick and a dark brown.

Cool and serve. Store in the refrigerator, or can in glass jars if desired.

Pumpkin Butter Yield: about 2 cups Ingredients: 15 oz-can pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling) 3/4 cup packed brown sugar 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice 1 teaspoon lemon juice Pinch salt Method Combine all ingredients in the slow cooker.

Cook on low for 6 hours with the lid ajar, until the butter is thick and a dark brown.

Cool and serve. Store in the refrigerator, or freeze for longer storage.

Canning is not recommended. FY Hilary Diodato writes about food and kitchen cost savings for Forever Young.

HOME & GARDEN

The Butterfly Garden I

hope your gardens grew as well as mine did this year. Rain, compost, and some joyous but hard work made it so. I have become a guerrilla gardener of sorts.

I choose one bed each day and work intently on it for a two-hour limit. I am trying to spend more time enjoying the gardens and less time worrying about perfection. A medical issue has made me extremely sun-sensitive, so I work early in the day. I have never been happier. I plan ahead, work on only one project, and then sit back and enjoy. Terrific!

CAROL ANN HARLOS This year I got very serious about creating an environment for monarch butterflies. One of the reasons that monarch butterflies are so endangered is due to the extensive spraying along roadways and around fields that grow crops. Think about it, when was the last time you saw milkweed plants? I planted common milkweed Asclepius syriaca, swamp milkweed A. incarnata, and butterfly milkweed A. tuberosa and waited eagerly for visitors. They came!

I even carried a female monarch butterfly who was feeding on nectar on the purple cone flowers along the side of the house to the backyard where the milkweeds are.

I looked underneath the milkweed leaves in late July. There were eggs!

This generation of monarchs try to lay as many eggs as possible, so sometimes there were a surprisingly large number on each plant. The larvae (caterpillars) ate the leaves on my plants, which

of course is their job. Yes the plants look ratty; this is not about the plants but helping this endangered species!

What a thrill to see them munching.

I find the pupal cases to be exquisitely beautiful. I watched. I got to see some of the butterflies emerging. These butterflies spent their time drinking nectar from other plants in the garden.

They did not mate nor did they lay eggs. These are the monarchs that will migrate to Mexico. There they will overwinter. They will mate, lay eggs on the return route, and die.

Would you please consider making your property a way station for monarch butterflies in the future?

It is believed that over 860 million milkweed plants were destroyed in the northern United States over the past ten years. Scientists understand how much milkweed is needed to sustain a monarch population by noting the

number of monarch butterflies that make it to Mexico. The information that I received from Ball Publishing Company indicates that more people must help before this beautiful species disappears.

Why monarchs? What makes monarchs so special is that they are highly visible and beautiful. They are the insect poster child, so to speak, just as pandas serve as a mammal poster child. Please don’t forget the other creatures that are not so pretty, but are part of our natural world. This year, I found three pupating black swallowtails who had feasted on my fennel. I thought it was wonderful.

Not everyone shares this enthusiasm.

There is a species of milkweed we can grow as an annual called Asclepius

curassavica, which is a very pretty annual milkweed easily grown from seed. And yes, I have grown it. It has been associated with keeping monarchs in one place and delaying their migration because it doesn’t die back easily in the late autumn. If you grow it, please pull it out in early September.

By the way, you can tell a male monarch butterfly from a female by observing that the veins on the wings are darker and more pronounced in the females. The males also possess two quite visible glands on the wings.

Children are absolutely thrilled by this observation! FY I love to hear from you at caharlos@ verizon.net

September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 9

ARTS

Sons and Lovers, Design for Living, The Producers, and John, are just a sample of the shows opening for this year's Curtain Up! Images courtesy of respective theatres

Choose a Curtain Up! Show

BY DONNA HOKE

I

f you’ve never been to Curtain Up! (September 15 this year), you’re missing out on a celebration that is unique to Buffalo. Each year, the Theater Alliance of Buffalo invites patrons to see a show, then celebrate the start of the season with a massive street party on a blocked-off Main Street (if you choose, you can also start your evening with dinner at one of many restaurants contributing to the expanded downtown culinary scene). No other city in the country does it quite like this, so if you want to partake this year—or if you have before and just need help choosing a pre-party show—check out the list below—which includes four world premieres, then buy your tickets, because for this special night, theaters sell out fast! black, is definitely a dark shade of gray.

ALLEYWAY THEATRE Niptuck ... and then all hell breaks AMERICAN REPERTORY THEATER Is it based on a true story? You decide.” loose as singing, dancing, and musical OF WNY Killer Rack Tickets: artofwny.org, 697-0837 mayhem are brought on by a set of Roommates

By Neal Radice monstrous mammaries! From Gregory By Mark Humphrey In a world that prizes breast size Lamberson: “Killer Rack, the motion An accountant, through a twist of fate, BUFFALO UNITED ARTISTS over accomplishments, Betty Downer picture, had a music score composed discovers that he owes a large sum to Sons & Lovers impulsively books enhancement and performed by Armand John a gangster, who is looking for payment By Donna Hoke surgery with the evil Dr. Libby Petri and Joe Rozler. After the film in full. When the accountant tells the As long as Ellen doesn’t openly was completed, Armand Petri kept gangster that he can’t pay today, but acknowledge that husband Butch is a Affordable living for Elderly, Handicapped, & Disabled insisting the story would work as an will pay tomorrow, the gangster leaves cheater or son Bill is gay, they’re just ... persons regardless of age. Income Limits Apply outright musical, and he pitched the behind a goon to keep the accountant not. As long as Bill doesn’t introduce Hamlet Square idea to Neal Radice, who quickly “safe.” Over the course of the evening, Marq to his mother, he can avoid wrote a stage adaptation. It’s hilarious the accountant and goon discover what commitment. It takes fantasy, farce, Apartments and faithful to the original script. Neal has led them to this circumstance. and one fabulous makeover before 6061 Edward Avenue, Newfane NY 14108 is directing, and Paul and I can’t wait From Mark Humphrey: “There are the truth flies free, and mother and (716) 778-9351 TDD Relay 711 to see our baby transformed for the two major themes at work here. One son discover just how much they have www.belmontmgmt.com stage with a whole lot of singing and is how people are not necessarily what in common. From Donna Hoke: “I Route 78 north through Newfane to Edward Avenue.

Community located at end of the road, then turn left. dancing. People who may not have they seem at first glance, and [another is had a short comedy, Best Interests, in ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR OUR WAITLIST given the film a second thought will the way] some people feel they can treat BUA Takes 10: GLBT Short Stories Fully Subsidized 1 bedroom units include: Fresh Paint, Wall to Wall Carpeting, Stove and Refrigerator, embrace this stage version.” people anyway they want. What gives in 2015. It starred BUA company Water and Sewer, On Site Laundry and Parking, Trash and Snow Removal them the right? This show came from member Caitlin Coleman, and, after Tickets: alleyway.com, 852-2600 a place in my psyche that, while not BUA artistic director Javier Bustillos Unlawful discrimination. “This institution is an equal opportunity provider and employer. If you wish to file a Civil Rights program complaint of discrimination, complete the USDA Program Discrimination Complaint Form, found online at http://www.ascr.usda.gov/complaint_filing_cust.html, or at any USDA office, or call (866) 632-9992 to request the form. You may also write a letter containing all of the information requested in the form. Send your completed complaint form or letter to us by mail at U.S. Department of Agriculture, Director, Office of Adjudication, 1400 Independence Avenue, S.W., Washington, D.C. 20250-9410, by fax (202) 690-7442 or email at program.intake@usda.gov.”

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www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

ARTS observed that my writing voice was a good match for her acting voice, he suggested I expand the ten minutes into a full-length vehicle for Caitlin. I laughed it off, but, when he continued to encourage it, the idea took hold and became, after many iterations, Sons & Lovers. So glad he asked!”

Tickets: buffalobua.org, 886-9239 IRISH CLASSICAL THEATRE COMPANY Design for Living

By Noel Coward Noel Coward wrote this comedy for himself to star in with pals Lynn Fontanne and Alfred Lunt. Drawing from some personal experience, it’s a triangular comedy best summed up by lead character Gilda: “I love you.

You love me. You love Otto. I love Otto. Otto loves you. Otto loves me.

That’s quite a dilemma for three slick and stylish young bohemians in 1930s England, and the resulting material was considered too risqué for London!

As a result, the show previewed in Cleveland, before premiering on Broadway to great success in 1933.

Choose this if you like Noel Coward, English comedy, classic comedy, or you just want to see what was considered too daring for 1930s London!

Tickets: irishclassicaltheatre.com, 853-4282 KAVINOKY The Producers Book by Mel Brooks and Thomas Meehan Music and lyrics by Mel Brooks It’s been twelve years since The Producers came to Buffalo via Shea’s, and Kavinoky revives it this season with two comedic Buffalo stalwarts: Brian Mysliwy and Norm Sham. The tale of two producers who set out to make a flop and find hilarious, unexpected success comes from the Oscar-winning 1968 movie of the same name, revolutionized Broadway comedy when it premiered in 2001, and won a record-breaking twelve Tony Awards. Choose this if you like musicals, comedy, giant Broadway hits… you get the idea.

Tickets: kavinokytheatre.com, 881-7668

MUSICALFARE Peter and The Starcatcher

By Rick Elice, music by Wayne Barker An acting ensemble tells the tale of two ships—Wasp and Neverland— that set on a journey to the fictional Rundoon, each with an identical trunk of possible treasure, one with three orphans and a heroic girl, the other with a captain soon to be abducted by pirates. In turn, taking on the roles and accents of more than 100 pirates, natives, teenagers, and ship’s men and ship’s captains, the troupe tells the Peter Pan origin story and invites the audience to use their imaginations to fill in the blanks. Choose this if you like story theater, physical theater, stagecraft, and all-ages adventure.

Tickets: musicalfare.com, 839-8540 NEW PHOENIX My Old Lady

By Israel Horovitz When a down on his luck middle aged man inherits an apartment in Paris, he plans to solve his financial woes by selling it. He arrives on the doorstep and discovers, to his dismay, that the elderly woman living there has lifetime habitation rights under an arcane French law and she is not about to give them up. Naturally, she invites the man to stay, and before the week is out, secrets are laid bare. New Phoenix has assembled a stellar trio for this play, which Horowitz later adapted to the screen. Choose this is you like small-cast character plays, traditional narratives, and the Artie Award-winning talents of some of Buffalo’s finest.

Tickets: newphoenixtheatre.org, 853-1334 O’CONNELL AND COMPANY Gentlemen Prefer Divas

By Mary Kate O’Connell and others This Smith Theatre productions combines the venerable Diva by Diva! with a male counterpart, Gentlemen’s Gentlemen, in one all-star cabaret celebration. Choose if you like cabaretstyle entertainment rather than a “play,” singing, humor.

Tickets: oconnellandcompany.com, 848-0800

ROAD LESS TRAVELED John WNY-Premiere by Annie Baker Young couple Elias and Jenny arrive at a mysterious B&B in Gettysburg, PA—one brimming with watchful objects, where certain rooms are not to be entered and certain things are better left unsaid. Road Less Traveled presents its second work from Pulitzer Prize-winner Annie Baker, and this one, which Baker says she likes better than her others because it’s “a little wilder and stranger and more personal, flirts with the supernatural as it explores the human condition.

Choose if you like atmosphere plays, don’t need a strong plotline, don’t mind long plays, or just want to know where you fall on the Annie Baker love-her-orhate-her divide.

Tickets: roadlesstraveledproductions. org, 629-3069

Choose if you like poignant stories, strong roles for older women, intimate plays, dance.

Tickets: sheas.org/710main, 1-800745-3000 FY Playwright Donna Hoke writes about theater for Buffalo Spree and Forever Young. Her new comedy, Sons & Lovers, is the Curtain Up! show at Buffalo United Artists.

ROCKING HORSE PRODUCTIONS at LANCASTER OPERA HOUSE 9 to 5: The Musical

By Patricia Resnick Music and lyrics by Dolly Parton 9 to 5: The Musical is a high-energy adaptation based on the 1980 hit movie. Set in the late 1970s, the story might be a little dated, but the three female leads remain a trio to root for as they plot against their sexist, bigoted, egomaniac boss in the most outrageous way. And, because it’s a musical, there’s, of course, some romance, too.

Choose if you like female leads, classically structured musicals, underdog stories, or the music of Dolly Parton.

Tickets: LancOpera.org, 683-1776 SHEA’S 710 THEATRE Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks

By Richard Alfieri If you missed O’Connell and Company’s beautiful presentation of this two-person play two seasons ago, here’s your chance to catch it—or revisit it. Starring Loretta Swit (M*A*S*H) and Broadway actor David Engel, the play follows the unlikely friendship that forms between a lonely Florida senior and the acerbic dance instructor she hires to give private lessons in her home.

September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 11

ARTS

Gary Oldman plays Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour Photos courtesy of TIFF

Emma Stone and Steve Carell star in Battle of the Sexes

Must-See Films of Fall 2017 The Toronto International Film Festival

BY CHRISTOPHER SCHOBERT

T

he 2017 Toronto International Film Festival is just days away (September 7–17) and, while it’s a bit late to plan a visit, you certainly still could, especially if the goal is to go for a day and not worry about overnight accommodations.

However, whether you are hitting TIFF17 or not, it’s still worth taking a close look at the announced films. (TIFF made its first batch of announcements on July 25, but more films will be added right up until festival time.) After all, the lineup is an indicator of what we can expect to see in Western New York cinemas in the months to come.

It’s difficult to discern whether there is a La La Land or Moonlight in the bunch. But finding out is going to be a blast. Here are fifteen TIFF entries that need to be on your radar.

Battle of the Sexes: It’s hard to think of a more compelling pair than Steve Carell and La La Land Oscar winner Emma Stone. Battle is even more enticing when you hear that the actors play Bobby Riggs and Billie Jean King, respectively.

Breathe: On paper, Breathe looks like a run-of-the-mill tearjerker about love in the face of disease. But the director (Planet of the Apes and Lord of the Rings star Andy Serkis) and stars (Andrew Garfield and The Crown’s Claire Foy) make this one to watch.

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Call Me By Your Name: This story of the love between a seven-teen-yearold and his father’s summer research assistant was one of the most acclaimed films to screen at January’s Sundance Film Festival.

The Current War: Sherlock himself, Benedict Cumberbatch, stars as Thomas Edison in this biopic about the race for sustainable electricity.

Michael Shannon plays George Westinghouse.

Darkest Hour: The great Gary Oldman has never won an Oscar, but Darkest Hour could change that. The Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy star is nearly unrecognizable as Winston Churchill in this World War II drama.

Downsizing: Matt Damon is a man who decides to shrink himself in a sci-fi satire from Nebraska and The Descendants director Alexander Payne.

Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool: Another star who has shockingly never snagged an Oscar is Annette Bening. She’ll be back in the awards conversation thanks to Liverpool, in which she plays Hollywood star Gloria Grahame.

www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

I, Tonya: Margot Robbie was the best thing about the dreary Suicide Squad. But can she succeed in making us feel for Tonya Harding? We’ll find out.

Mary Shelley: The Frankenstein author is the subject of a biopic starring Elle Fanning. Shelley is a compelling figure, and that means this film will garner some attention.

Professor Marston & the Wonder Woman: The world went mad for Wonder Woman this summer, and rightfully so. The time is right, then, for a film about the man who created the superhero, William Moulton Marston. Beauty and the Beast’s Luke Evans stars.

The Shape of Water: This Cold War love story centered around a Creature from the Black Lagoon-style amphibious man is the latest from Pan’s Labyrinth filmmaker Guillermo del Toro.

Stronger: Jeff Bauman lost his legs in the tragic Boston Marathon bombing. He’s played here by Jake Gyllenhaal.

Suburbicon: George Clooney directs a 1950s-set noir ensemble featuring Matt Damon, Julianne Moore, and Oscar Isaac. Joel and Ethan Coen (Fargo, No Country for Old Men) wrote the script.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: Speaking of Fargo, that film’s star, Frances McDormand, plays a grieving mother in this dark drama co-starring Woody Harrelson.

Untitled Bryan Cranston/Kevin Hart Film: Nope, that’s not the title; this remake of the French blockbuster The Intouchables is not titled yet. What really intrigues is the pairing of Bryan Cranston and Kevin Hart, along with the presence of co-star Nicole Kidman.

Visit TIFF.net for more info on the Toronto International Film Festival. And if you’re planning a visit to the festival, make sure to hit SeeTorontoNow.com for a rundown of what’s happening elsewhere in the city. FY Christopher Schobert is covering TIFF17 for Buffalo Spree and BuffaloSpree.com.

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885-3767 (church) HOLY MOTHER OF THE ROSARY CATHEDRAL Fellowship Hall, 6298 Broadway, Lancaster 11:30 am......... 683-7527 FATHER JUSTIN K OF C 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m......... 681-7231 VILLA MARIA COLLEGE 240 Pine Ridge Rd., Cheektowaga 7 p.m.............. 896-0700 AM. LEG. POST NO. 567 3740 N. Buffalo Rd., O. Park 7:30 p.m......... 662-9780 ST. AMELIA 2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda 7:40 p.m......... 836-0011 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 7 p.m.............. 549-4389 DOWNTOWN POST NO. 64 A.L. INC. 1770 South Park Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.

VALLEY COMMUNITY ASSOCIATION 93 Leddy, Buffalo 7:30 p.m......... 823-4707 MATTHEW GLAB POST 1965 Abbott Rd., Lackawanna 7:30 p.m........ 825-3733 HAMBURG–KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS 36 Pierce Ave., Hamburg 7:30 p.m..649-9830/649-4340

ASSUMPTION PARISH 435 Amherst St., Buffalo 1 p.m.............. 876-1038 FATHER JUSTIN K OF C 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 1 p.m.............. 681-7231 ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore 7:30 p.m......... 873-6716 OUR LADY OF POMPEII 129 Laverack, Lancaster 7 p.m.............. 683-6522 WHEATFIELD NO. 1451 6525 Ward Rd., Sanborn 7:25 p.m......... 731-4712 AMERICAN LEGION TONAWANDA NO. 264 60 Main St., Tonawanda 7:30 p.m......... 692-9785 GEORGE F. LAMM POST 962 Wehrle Dr., Williamsville 7:30 p.m......... 633-9242 RESURRECTION BINGO 130 Como Park Blvd.

7 p.m.............. 683-3712 JOSEPH HRICZKO VFW POST NO. 6245 29 Clemo St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m......... 854-1000 HARTLAND VFC 8945 Ridge Rd., Hartland 7:30 p.m.

ARMOR VOL. FIRE CO. 4932 Clark St., Hamburg 7:30 p.m......... 649-9821 ST. STANISLAUS RCC 123 Townsend St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m......... 849-4980 ST. ANDREW CHURCH 111 Crocker St., Sloan 7:30 p.m......... 892-0425 OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL HELP CHURCH 115 O’Connell Avenue, Buffalo 7:30 p.m......... 852-2671 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 7 p.m......................... 549-4389

TUESDAY

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AMVETS MEDALLION POST NO. 13 25 Review Pl., Buffalo 7:30 p.m......... 874-0559

ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI 4263 St. Francis Dr., Athol Springs 7:30 p.m.................... 627-2710

Bingo Calendar SHAWNEE VOL. FIRE COMPANY 3747 Lockport Rd., Sanborn 7:30 p.m. .................. 731-3666 AM. LEG. MCKEEVER POST 1770 S. Park Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 822-6400 KENMORE K OF C 1530 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo 1 p.m......................... 875-5780 POLISH CADETS CLUB 927 Grant St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 875-3211 FATHER JUSTIN K OF C — SPONSORED BY THE JUSTINETTES 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m.................... 681-7231 POLISH FALCONS 445 Columbia Ave., Depew 7:45 p.m.................... 684-2373 FATHER BAKER K OF C 2838 S. Park Ave., Lackawanna 12:45 p.m.................. 825-5150 LANCASTER K OF C 6114 Broadway, Lancaster 11:45 a.m................... 684-1905 RESCUE FIRE CO. NO. 5 1241 Strad, N. Tonawanda 7:30 p.m.................... 695-3923

(continued)

LG R O MILLUNTEVE ER VO

ST. JAMES DEPEW 500 Terrace Blvd., Depew 7:30 p.m.................... 683-2746 ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore 7:30 p.m.................... 873-6716 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 7 p.m......................... 549-4389 AM. LEG. POST 1041 533 Amherst St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 875-9276 ST. CLARE’S 193 Elk St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 823-2358 FOURTEEN HOLY HELPERS 1345 Indian Church Rd., West Seneca 7:00 p.m.................... 674-2374 K OF C MADONNA COUNCIL NO. 2535 755 Erie Ave., North Tonawanda 7:20 p.m.................... 693-5470 NIAGARA FRONTIER AMERICAN LEGION POST 1041 533 Amherst Street, Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 875-9276 VFW COL. WEBER POST 989 2909 South Park Ave., Lackawana 7:30 p.m.................... 823-9605

SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 1 & 7 p.m.................. 549-4389 ST. ALOYSIUS RCC 156 Franklin, Springville 7:30 p.m.................... 592-2701 ST. AMELIA 2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda 7:40 p.m.................... 836-0011 ST. MICHAEL’S BINGO 140 Warsaw, Lackawanna 7:15 p.m.................... 825-9415

THURSDAY FATHER JUSTIN K OF C 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 1 p.m......................... 681-7231 AMVETS BINGO 600 Ward Rd., N. Tonawanda 8 p.m......................... 694-6290 BLESSED TRINITY 317 Leroy Ave., Buffalo 8 p.m......................... 833-0301 BUFFALO IRISH CENTER 245 Abbott Rd., Buffalo 7:45 p.m.................... 825-9535 ST. BERNARD’S CHURCH Clinton @ S. Ogden, Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 822-8856 PVT. LEONARD POST 2450 Walden Ave., Cheektowaga 7:15 p.m.................... 684-4371

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AM. LEG. MCKEEVER POST 1770 South Park Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m................... 822-6400 O’BRIEN HALL Lafayette at Grant, Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 885-2469 ASSUMPTION PARISH 435 Amherst St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 876-1038 KENMORE K OF C 1530 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 875-5780 OUR LADY HELP OF CHRISTIANS 4125 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m.................... 634-3420 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 7 & 10:30 p.m........... 549-4389 ST. ALOYSIUS GONZAGA 157 Cleveland Dr., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m.................... 833-1715 ST. KATHERINE DREXEL 122 Shiller St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 895-6813 ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore 7:30 p.m.................... 873-6716 LAKE ERIE CLUB 3200 S. Park Ave., Lackawanna 7:15 p.m.................... 825-9870

(continued)

DALE ASSOCIATION CENT. 33 Ontario St., Lockport 7 p.m......................... 433-1886 SOUTH BYRON VFC Rte. 237, South Byron 7:30 p.m........... 585-548-2611 SANBORN VFC 5811 Buffalo St., Sanborn 7:45 p.m.................... 731-4616 MILLGROVE VFC 11621 Genesee St., Alden 7:45 p.m.................... 937-7612 GASPORT CHEMICAL HOSE 8412 State St., Gasport 7:30 p.m.................... 772-7751 OUR LADY OF PERP. HELP 115 O’Connell St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 852-2671 ST. STANISLAUS RCC 123 Townsend St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 849-4980 ST. PHILIP THE APOSTLE 950 Lossen Rd., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m.................... 668-3344

SATURDAY ST. AMELIA’S RCC 2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda 1 p.m......................... 836-0011 ASSUMPTION PARISH 435 Amherst St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 876-1038

Bingo Calendar BLESSED TRINITY 317 Leroy Ave., Buffalo 8 p.m......................... 833-0301 ST. JOHN XXIII 1 Arcade St., W. Seneca 7 p.m......................... 823-1090 CORPUS CHRISTI CLUB 165 Sears St., Buffalo 2 p.m......................... 892-0469 INFANT OF PRAGUE 921 Cleveland Dr., Cheektowaga 7:15 p.m.................... 634-3660 ST. ALOYSIUS GONZAGA 157 Cleveland Dr., Cheektowaga 1 p.m......................... 833-1715 VILLA MARIA COLLEGE 240 Pine Ridge Rd., Cheektowaga 1 p.m......................... 896-0700 LANCASTER ELKS 1478 33 Legion Parkway, Lancaster 1 p.m......................... 685-1478 OUR LADY OF POMPEII 129 Laverack, Lancaster 7 p.m. (1st Sat.)........ 683-6522 O’HARA BOOSTER CLUB 39 O’Hara Rd., Tonawanda 7:30 p.m.. 695-2600 ext. 326 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 1, 7, & 10:30 p.m...... 549-4389

ST. ANDREW CHURCH 111 Crocker St., Sloan 7:30 p.m.................... 892-0425 PALLOTTINE FATHERS 3452 N. Falls Blvd., Wheatfield 7 p.m......................... 694-4313 SOUTH WILSON VFC 4193 Chestnut Rd., Wilson 7:30 p.m.................... 751-6079 CARDINAL O’HARA HIGH 39 O’Hara Rd., Tonawanda 7:30 p.m. 695-2600 ext. 326 CORPUS CHRISTI CHURCH 199 Clark St., Buffalo 2 p.m......................... 896-1050 OUR LADY OF BISTRICA 1619 Abbott Rd., Lackawanna 7:15 p.m.................... 822-0818 BUFFALO GAY BINGO/ AIDS PLUS FUND OF WNY Westminster Church, 724 Delaware Ave., Buffalo 7 p.m (2nd Sat.)......... 882-7840

SUNDAY ST. ANTHONY OF PADUA 160 Court St., Buffalo 2 p.m......................... 854-2563 ST. LEO THE GREAT 885 Sweet Home Rd., Amherst 2 p.m......................... 835-8905

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ST. JOHN XXIII 1 Arcade St., W. Seneca 2 p.m......................... 823-1090 OUR LADY OF THE SACRED HEART 3148 Abbott Rd., O. Park 2 p.m......................... 824-2935 KENMORE K OF C 1530 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 875-5780 ST. BERNARD’S CHURCH Clinton @ S. Ogden, Buffalo 7:30 p.m.................... 822-8856 OUR LADY HELP OF CHRISTIANS 4125 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 7 p.m......................... 634-3420 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 1 & 7 p.m.................. 549-4389 DELEVAN VFC N. Main St., Delevan 7 p.m......................... 492-1910 ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore 7 p.m......................... 873-6716 FATHER BAKER K OF C 2838 S. Park Ave., Lackawanna 7:15 p.m.................... 825-5150 OUR LADY OF POMPEII 129 Laverack, Lancaster 7 p.m......................... 683-6522

CARDINAL O’HARA HIGH 39 O’Hara Rd., Tonawanda 1 p.m....... 695-2600 ext. 326 LOCKPORT ELKS LODGE 41 6791 N. Canal Rd., Lockport 7 p.m......................... 434-2798 PVT. LEONARD POST 2450 Walden, Cheektowaga 7:15 p.m..................684-43710 MATTHEW GLAB POST 1965 Abbott Rd., Lackawanna 7:30 p.m.................... 825-3733

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COVER

Middleport Family Health Center

Middleport Family Health Center owner and pharmacist Stephen Giroux consults with pharmacist Amanda Zelinski. Photo by kc kratt.

T

he Middleport Family Health Center (MFHC) is a locally owned independent community pharmacy providing clinical services to patients throughout Eastern Niagara and Western Orleans counties. MFHC’s staff includes owner Stephen Giroux, RPh; Ryan Lindenau, PharmD (clinical pharmacist), Amanda Zelinski, PharmD (PGY-1 community pharmacy resident) and Stephanie Duermeyer (student pharmacist).

Working with local practitioners, the pharmacy provides services and educates patients to improve their overall healthcare. The pharmacy

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also carries durable medical supplies and equipment, diabetic shoes, specializes in compounding, including veterinary prescriptions,

www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

and offers free delivery services.

Medication management For many patients and caregivers,

keeping track of multiple medications can be difficult; but MFHC’s medication synchronization system (Simplify My Meds) and medication packaging services, known as “Pill Pack,” can alleviate this burden by synchronizing medication refills to be filled together at one time. Studies have found that approximately 2030% of prescriptions prescribed are never filled, and of those that are filled, 50% are not taken as prescribed (Osterberg L, Blaschke T. Adherence to medication. N Engl J Med. 2005; 353(5):48797). Through the synchronization programs that MFHC offers, patients receive a phone call the week prior to their medications

COVER being filled, allowing the pharmacy to reconcile any medication changes and fill only the medications that the patient needs. Pill Pack makes managing multiple medications even easier for patients, caregivers, and homecare nurses. This easy to read, co-mingled, multi-dose package is custom made for each patient to include dosages up to four times daily to ensure medications are taken on schedule.

Diabetes classes For patients with diabetes, MFHC offers diabetes self-management classes as well as individual sessions at no charge to the patient. Classes are broken down into four weekly sessions that allow patients to learn and ask questions about their diabetes in a group setting. Each class focuses on a different aspect of diabetes care, including the importance of testing blood sugars and proper technique, staying active and healthy eating, how medications are working to lower blood sugar levels, and how to reduce the risk of developing complications associated with diabetes. At the end of each class, patients set realistic goals to follow throughout the week and report how implementing any change is working for them at the following session. Individual sessions are also available where the pharmacist is able to assess the medication regimen and diabetes care goals in depth with the patient in order to make personalized recommendations to their doctor.

MFHC’s diabetes classes open a line of communication between the patient, pharmacist, and physician that allow for improvement in patient care.

Blood pressure monitoring MFHC provides free blood pressure monitoring to patients diagnosed with hypertension, through collaboration with the P2 Collaborative associated with the Niagara County Health Department. Patients who enroll in the program are required to keep a log of their daily blood pressure

readings, utilizing a provided blood pressure cuff. The log is then returned to the pharmacy when patients pick up their refills and is reviewed and recorded by the pharmacist. This allows the pharmacist to make clinical recommendations to the patient’s physician when appropriate, and improves health outcomes by helping patients maintain a healthy blood pressure.

Smoking cessation Quitting smoking is never easy, but MFHC provides a smoking cessation program that is tailored to each patient’s needs to help make the process easier. Through a four-week cessation program, pharmacists are able to provide education to patients, as well as recommend over the counter products that can aid in cessation. The program costs only $15 per session and includes four post-class follow-ups to help patients stay on track even after the program has ended.

chronic conditions such as asthma, COPD, diabetes, or heart disease.

Data collected from the 2016-17 flu season show that vaccination reduced the overall risk for flurelated medical visits by 42%, and each year the vaccine is updated to cover the most recent strains of virus, improving overall effectiveness for the upcoming flu season, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (“Key facts about

seasonal flu vaccine,” cdc.gov/flu/ protect/keyfacts.htm). Vaccinations are available every day of the week during pharmacy hours at the Middleport Family Health Center.

Be sure to stop by to get your annual flu shot, now available anytime without an appointment! FY Middleport Family Health Center, 81 Rochester Rd., Middleport, Phone: 735-3261; Fax: 735-3351

Vaccinations Did you know that multiple vaccinations can be administered at the same time, potentially saving you additional trips to the pharmacy?

In New York, certified pharmacists are able to administer vaccinations for flu, pneumonia, shingles, meningitis, and tetanus/diphtheria/ pertussis (whooping cough) to eligible adults over eighteen years old. MFHC goes the extra mile to provide a clinical review to identify and notify patients who are eligible for vaccinations to ensure that everyone at risk is protected via appropriate vaccination.

Flu outbreaks can be seen as early as October, therefore the Center for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that everyone six months and older is vaccinated against influenza before the end of October for optimal protection.

Individuals at higher risk for developing complications from the flu include adults over sixty-five years of age, pregnant women, those residing in long-term care facilities or nursing homes, as well as those with September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 19

FEATURE

Making Your Final Wishes Known

BY JUDITH A. RUCKI

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ave you had the talk yet? No, not that one.

This is the talk that we all need to have with our loved ones, the one where we tell them what our final wishes are. It’s not easy to think or talk about, but it can save a lot of pain in the long run.

I will start with a story about my own family. My father was a member of the Greatest Generation. He passed away 16 years ago this month, and would have been 101 if he were still with us.

Like many men from that time, he was the strong, silent type. He spoke very little about himself and was never interested in discussing end-of-life issues.

Several decades ago he did think purchasing space in a mausoleum was a good idea. He took to making what he referred to as “crypt payments,” and treated them like a mortgage on a second home.

It took years to convince him that he and my mother needed a will. He assumed that everything would go to my mother, then to me. Fortunately, a trip to the family lawyer convinced him he needed to put things in writing.

For him, that was the end of the story. Even after his health began failing, he refused to talk about “the end.” My COME HOME TO

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mother tried to get him to tell her what his final wishes were. True to form, all he would say was, “You decide.”

One Sunday when we were getting ready to watch the Bills opening game, my father took a fall. We called 911, and he was rushed to the hospital. While in the emergency room, he suffered a massive heart attack. My mother and I were asked to leave. We assumed he had died.

A doctor revived him, and we began a two-week journey through hell.

Because my father left no instructions, we could not say he would not have wanted to be resuscitated. Some days he was mildly responsive to a voice or a touch. Other days he appeared comatose. A ventilator did his breathing for him. Finally a social worker said it was time to make a decision. It fell to my mother to tell them to remove the ventilator. We were told he would not survive having it removed. He not only survived, he opened his eyes and asked

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what happened. He lingered for another three days before he drifted into a coma and passed away.

We are all different. There are those who would not want to be resuscitated under these conditions. Others want to be given every opportunity to live, no matter the quality of their life. What is important is that our loved ones know what we want.

The flip side of this story is one about a dear friend who knew she was dying.

Nadine and I spent many hours talking late into the night about her impending demise.

Sure, she was the controlling type, but the fact that she planned her own funeral lessened the burden on her family. Nadine chose what dress she wanted to wear, what funeral home was to be employed, and where she would be buried.

Except for her immediate family and me, she wanted no one else to view her.

We met an hour ahead of the start of calling hours to say our goodbyes. In spite of a long illness, Nadine looked beautiful, but her wishes for a closed casket were honored.

At the church service, the music and readings were of her choosing.

Everything was tastefully done, and exactly as my friend wanted it.

Personally speaking, my husband and I have purchased space in a mausoleum.

We refer to it as moving to the country.

We’ve also pre-planned our funerals.

No, spending an afternoon choosing caskets is not fun, but we both know it will make the inevitable less difficult for the survivor.

FEATURE We’ve also discussed in detail, with each other, our doctor, and our lawyer, what our final wishes are regarding medical, legal, and financial choices.

So what is a good starting point for your own planning purposes? You may want to begin with a living will, also known as a health care directive. This specifies whether you want to be kept on artificial life support if you become permanently unconscious or are otherwise unable to speak for yourself.

Estate planning attorneys often create a living will and a medical power of attorney.

A do-not-resuscitate order (DNR) is a medical order written by a doctor. It allows you to choose whether or not you want cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if your breathing stops or if your heart stops beating.

You also need to consider if you are going to want medicines or nutrition or other treatments.

If you want to be an organ donor or donate your body to a medical school, now is the time to make those wishes known.

Some people don’t start thinking about these things until they are terminally ill. Understandable, but that also puts more stress on them and their families. The time to consider your final wishes is when you are thinking clearly and have the energy to make sure, from a medical and legal stand point, that those wishes are carried out.

In the long run, you can save your loved ones from making difficult decisions and worrying if they made the right choices. They should not feel guilt or remorse while they are grieving.

Think of it the other way around. If a loved one wants something done (or not done) a certain way, it is far better for you to know ahead of time so you can carry out their final wishes.

Now aren’t you glad we had this talk?

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Judith A. Rucki is a public relations consultant and freelance writer.

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FEATURE

Estate Planning Getting Started

BY REBECCA CUTHBERT

S

urveys estimate that approximately six out of every ten adults in the United States have not done any estate planning, shared Kristin M. S. Poland, staff attorney for the Probate Court of Cobb County, Georgia. Poland, a graduate of the Georgia State University College of Law, was born in Buffalo and raised in Chautauqua County.

Though end-of-life planning is an everyday topic for her, Poland understands that it can be an unpleasant task for many.

“If you haven’t started thinking about estate or end of life planning, know that you are not alone,” she says.

“But just because people don’t do it doesn’t mean it isn’t important. I think everyone ought to have an estate plan suited to their particular circumstances in life, and review and update that plan regularly.”

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And, estate planning isn’t just for seniors.

“Even people who are young and healthy can have accidents or sudden health emergencies,” noted Poland. “If you want your wishes to be known and followed in the event of your incapacity and/or death, put an estate plan in place! You might find, as many do, that having a comprehensive estate plan gives you a great deal of peace of mind despite the initial discomfort.”

Unlike some projects, estate planning should definitely not be “DIY.” “I always recommend that people speak with an attorney about their estate planning,” Poland says. “If you don’t have an attorney in mind, ask around with friends, family, or neighbors for recommendations. I am well aware that plenty of people employ the selfhelp model when completing estate planning documents, and that there are inexpensive computer programs that can spit out a will for you, but usually when I encounter these types of documents, the phrase ‘penny wise and pound foolish’ comes to mind.”

Don’t play fast and loose with estate planning; it’s too important.

“Taking shortcuts can lead to mistakes; mistakes made in your planning documents can create protracted and expensive problems for the loved ones left behind,” Poland explains. “An attorney can help you to examine your assets and goals and assure that your plan is personalized to your individual circumstances. An attorney will also be able to advise you

www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

regarding things like taxes or other legal implications.”

When you make an appointment with your attorney, come prepared, Poland advises. It will not only save time and headaches later, but will ensure you are receiving the best value for your money.

“Fill out any intake forms from the attorney’s office to the best of your ability. Gather up information about your assets, like bank accounts, real property, retirement accounts, life or other insurance policies, stocks, bonds, annuities, etc.,” she says. “If you have any personal property, i.e., ‘stuff,’ of any substantial value, be sure to let the attorney know. Don’t forget anything you own that is of particular sentimental value, even if the monetary value is minimal.”

So, whether it’s an heirloom pocket watch, a signed first edition of Moby Dick, or a collection of vintage Pyrex that you hold dear, make sure to tell your lawyer about it, and who you’d like to pass it on to one day.

“Some things might pass through your estate and others might pass directly to your loved ones, but your attorney will need to know about all of them,” Poland says.

Along with family members and friends who are special to you, think about the charitable organizations you support.

“Before meeting with an attorney, give consideration to the legacy you wish to leave behind. Perhaps you would like to be sure that money or property left to

family is used for a particular purpose, like education. Many people want to include charitable giving in their estate plans, whether that be a gift to an alma mater, a church, the local animal rescue group, or any other organization,” she explains.

Estate planning can get complex— one more reason that it should be left to an experienced attorney.

“There are some things that should be given special consideration when a person sets out to create an estate plan,” Poland says. “One of the most important is whether anyone who may receive any portion of your assets—whether it be a lifetime gift or through inheritance or bequest—has any special needs. Do you want to make a bequest to a minor child? Do you intend to give assets to an adult with special needs? Do you know how such a gift will impact any benefits that individual receives? Gifts to minor children or special needs individuals can have unintended and expensive consequences, despite the good intentions of the giver. It is so important to seek the advice of an attorney if these circumstances apply to you.”

And, for those who still feel squeamish, remember that estate planning doesn’t just include what will happen after an individual’s death.

“Estate planning also often includes what is sometimes called ‘incapacity planning.’ Be sure to ask your estate planning attorney whether this is something he or she recommends and, if so, take those steps. If this is a part of your estate planning, think about what

of whether they’re eighteen or eightyeight—needs to check off. If you’re one of those six in ten people who hasn’t yet gotten the ball rolling, call a qualified attorney and change that today! You just may find yourself feeling more confident about tomorrow. FY Rebecca Cuthbert lives, writes, and cares for shelter dogs in Dunkirk. She is a frequent contributor to Forever Young and Buffalo Spree.

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your wishes would be in the event that you become unable to make medical or financial decisions for yourself due to injury or illness. Who would you want to make those decisions for you if you cannot?”

On that topic, Poland says, you will want to give some serious thought to who you appoint to make decisions on your behalf or carry out your final wishes.

“Make sure that anyone you nominate to act in such a capacity is honest and trustworthy,” she says, acknowledging that this can be a hard conversation to have, even in your own mind. “Be honest with yourself about those qualities in the friends or family members you might nominate.”

Poland also says it’s a good idea to consider that person’s relationship to your other loved ones.

“For example,” she says, “when family members are estranged from one another or have a strained relationship, problems can arise if one of those parties is appointed to make health or financial decisions for an incapacitated individual, or to oversee the estate of a deceased individual. If there is already mistrust in the family’s dynamics, it often only gets worse when the stress and heartache of a loved one’s illness or death is added to the mix.”

Please, though, Poland says, don’t nominate someone without speaking to him or her to gauge their willingness to act on your behalf.

“It shouldn’t be a surprise to someone that he or she has been nominated as an agent under a power of attorney or an executor,” she says. “These are big jobs with big responsibilities and should not be taken lightly.”

Another serious topic Poland wants to draw attention to is elder abuse, in its many forms.

“Exploitation and abuse of adults is a large and increasing problem in the United States,” she says. “Elderly adults are particularly vulnerable, and, unfortunately, therefore a huge target for the unscrupulous. Studies show that up to one in ten elderly people will be the victim of elder abuse in some form, including financial abuse.”

Stop waiting. Stop putting it off.

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September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 23

LET’S TALK ABOUT...

Where the Money Goes

BY JUDITH A. RUCKI

A

nyone who is part of a couple knows what triggers the most fights. If we are going to brawl, it’s mostly over money, sex, work, children, and housework.

Note the first item on the list is money. It’s a tricky and multi-layered subject. If one partner has more than the other, there is a power imbalance.

A lot of conflict can arise if one partner is a saver and the other a spender. Opposites may attract, but this can turn into a lifelong feud.

There are many monetary issues couples face over the course of a long marriage or relationship. How much to save for retirement, what risks to take when investing, paying for children’s education—the list goes on and on.

Some couples combine their bank accounts, others have a need for separate accounts. There is no end to the potential for conflict.

Just when a couple thinks they have it all figured out, it may be time to make some of the biggest decisions of their lives. Depending on who predeceases whom, where do the assets go?

In the simplest of instances, the surviving spouse inherits the assets. Upon his or her death, the remaining assets are divided equally among their children.

Well, sure. Except it isn’t always that simple.

Suppose one or more of the adult 24

www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

children is highly successful. Do the success stories get less than the notso-successful children, seeing they already have so much? Or what if one of the adult children has cared for an elderly parent for years while siblings made no effort to lend a hand? What’s fair?

Some couples may be on a second or third marriage. They each may have had children with former spouses or partners. They may have had children together. Now it gets complicated, especially if relationships are strained.

There are those couples that admit they have never discussed estate planning. One or both may find the subject too upsetting.

Other couples may think they are on the same page and discover they are not even close when they start making out their wills.

Ongoing communication is important, but the subject of what happens to our “stuff” when we are gone may have dropped to the bottom of the list while we were busy living our lives.

The best planning starts with a discussion between spouses or partners. If this is a second (or third or more) marriage, the talk should be had before embarking upon another union. Differing opinions could become deal breakers.

Each scenario is different. If one spouse worked while the other stayed home, the surviving spouse may need more money for his or her support. A spouse with grown children from another relationship may want money to go to them.

Another consideration is the possibility of a couple dying simultaneously. In that case, they may want to set up a contingent gift for any grandchildren. In the event that an adult child should die before a parent, the gift that would have gone to the adult child will pass to his or her children.

If a couple has no children or “heirs apparent,” they need to decide if there is a family member or close friend to whom they want to leave their assets. This can get complicated, and the couple may

LET’S TALK ABOUT... want to consider to whom they want to leave family heirlooms or valuable collections. They may have a favorite charity that can become the recipient of their largesse.

Today there are more and more grandparents who find themselves raising grandchildren. They need to think about naming a personal and property guardian in the event they should die while the child is still a minor.

If there are children a couple chooses to disinherit, they may need to specify that intention in their will.

Another consideration is pets.

Furry and feathered companions could outlive their owners. A plan needs to be in place for their care and well being after an owner is gone.

These are intimate matters that need to be decided sooner rather than later.

The next step is seeing a lawyer to have a will made. He or she can help clarify the best way to distribute

assets. Depending on the amount of the assets, the lawyer should be able to explain trusts, bequests, tax issues, probate, and all the things that estate planning entails.

Laws vary from state to state.

Therefore it is important to understand what needs to go into a will so that a couple’s intentions are fulfilled.

Estate planning is not the easiest or most pleasant thing to do. It may bring up fears and issues that even the most compatible couple will find daunting. But it is important and will, in the long run, bring peace of mind. FY Judith A. Rucki is a public relations consultant and freelance writer.

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MY WNY STORY

Gayle Murphy Sharing the Gift of Law

BY ANTHONY CHABALA

Y

ou may not know the name Gayle Towne Murphy, but you or someone you know has undoubtedly been affected by her work. As the Pro Bono Manager for the Erie County Bar Association’s Volunteer Lawyers Project (VLP), Gayle organizes programs and connects WNY’s finest attorneys with clients who need legal advice but lack the financial resources to hire adequate representation. Convincing attorneys who bill upwards of hundreds of dollars an hour to donate their time seems like a daunting task, but Gayle’s infectious enthusiasm for helping others makes it almost impossible to say no.

Gayle was born into a family that lived by two central philosophies: “Education is the key to happiness and success,” and “Share your gifts.” Her family’s commitment to education and serving others laid the groundwork for her first career as a special education teacher for Frontier Central Schools.

“I loved teaching, and I loved being

26

around the kids and seeing their faces light up when they experienced success,” said Gayle. Forever the curious learner, Gayle followed her master’s degree in education with a juris doctor degree from University at Buffalo Law School, a move that allowed her to combine her dedication and enthusiasm for helping the less

www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

fortunate with her strong advocacy skills.

Thanks to fine law school performance, Gayle soon found herself at a crucial fork in the road.

Already a litigation associate with a huge corporate firm, Gayle could have stayed and lived the large law firm life and enjoyed the spoils that

Gayle T. Murphy, Esquire Photo courtesy Erie County Bar Association Volunteer Lawyers Project, Inc.

accompany it, or she could build a career defined by helping people when they need it most. Luckily, Gayle chose the latter. She would go on to work for the Neighborhood Legal Service’s Disability Law Unit, Legal Services for the Elderly, and even became a clinical instructor at UB Law. Eventually, Gayle began her own private practice based out of her kitchen. “My practice focused on the rights of individuals with disabilities and their families. In these cases, there are so many uphill battles and injustices that I found it extremely rewarding to be able to help.” Using her background in education, Gayle often dealt with special education law, guardianship, and Attorney for the Child Work.

In 2013, Gayle jumped on the opportunity to work with VLP, where she finds great pleasure and satisfaction in pairing talented attorneys with people who truly need support.

Here, like-minded professionals who are drawn to service surround her.

According to Gayle, “Every day, I get to observe the generosity of extremely talented individuals. The public is so unaware of how many great, philanthropic people are in Buffalo, and we need to promote that more.”

One local attorney, Jennifer Scharf, could not be more impressed with all Gayle does. “She is a tireless and passionate member of the Buffalo legal community. Wherever she goes, she

MY WNY STORY

Murphy with Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown (center) and associates Photo courtesy G. Murphy

is an advocate for VLP, and she gets results. No conversation with Gayle ends without a new recruit to VLP,” explains Scharf.

Last winter, Gayle was awarded the highly prestigious Women Lawyers of Western New York’s Woman of the Year. However, when talking about her career, she was too humble to even mention this. When I brought it up, Gayle expressed what an honor it was and then talked about how she was so thrilled everyone had a great time at the ceremony. Gayle Murphy’s level of selflessness and empathy is something we should all aspire to.

To prevent any conflicts of interest with VLP’s work, Gayle closed her successful private practice. While she misses the thrill of litigation and zealously advocating for her clients, that void is filled by seeing Buffalo’s impoverished and disabled as her

clients, and she never lets a moment pass without at least brainstorming a way to help. Just as Gayle followed her parents’ footsteps by entering helping professions, Gayle’s two daughters, Kyle (a teacher) and Tara (a nurse) will proudly carry on the helping tradition.

I have had the pleasure of knowing Gayle Murphy as both a supervisor while I was in law school and as a mentor now that I am an attorney.

I can honestly say that I have never known someone so well respected or dedicated to her craft. The local legal community as a whole is a better place thanks to Gayle simply being Gayle.

When not working, this Hamburg native loves to run, golf, and spend time laughing with friends, family, and Bella, her much loved Labradoodle. FY

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NEWS

HANCI Celebrates 90 Years

BY WENDY GUILD SWEARINGEN

T

his is a big year for the Health Association of Niagara County, Inc. (HANCI). The building at 1302 Main Street in Niagara Falls is getting $80,000 facelift; the organization is producing Faces of Niagara, a book project compiling photographs of the region’s seniors who are age ninety or above; and it’s throwing a “senior” prom with students from area high schools as “dates.” And HANCI is also celebrating its ninetieth anniversary with an elegant gala at the Seneca Niagara Casino in

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Seniors and students enjoying the 2016 HANCI Senior Prom Photos courtesy of HANCI

That’s a lot of work for this onestop shop for senior health and wellness. Luckily, the management and staff at HANCI has a ton of energy and enthusiasm. And that makes for great service for our area seniors. We sat down recently with Alisa Reimann, director of marketing and development, to talk about HANCI’s upcoming events.

Describe HANCI’s mission.

Alisa Reimann: Everything we’re doing this year is in conjunction with the celebration of our ninetieth anniversary. We have been serving the Niagara County community for

www.foreveryoungwny.com | September 2017

ninety years this year. We have a new mission shaped around the needs of the community in this day and age.

The organization was started to fight a really big tuberculosis epidemic, way back in the 1920s and grew into a county-wide agency.

Over the last five years or so, we started growing and our programs are growing and succeeding in the community. We are the only Niagara County agency that is operating a PACE program (Program of Allinclusive Care for the Elderly) called Complete SeniorCare. Basically what the program does is, if you have a loved one age fifty-five or over who would need a nursing-home level

of care, we can keep them at home and living in the community safely with our supports and services. That would be durable medical equipment for them, delivering their medicines to their house, an adult day program in our facility for members, doctor’s offices right there in the building, and they see specialists out in the community. We partner with about eighty different vendors to give members a complete care plan that’s specialized for them. We provide meals at the center or delivered to their home, as well. We provide transportation to and from doctors’ appointments and the center.

We’ve expanded to provide respite

NEWS

Faces of Niagara

Richard Lacey, 90 years old, from Niagara Falls. He joined the US Army when he was 19 and served in 30th Division as an assistant machine gunner.

He was serving near the border of Germany on V-day 1945. He is known as a war hero and has been featured in several books.

care for caregivers who want to go on vacation or have a break; we would set their loved one up in a rehab facility so they could feel safe going away.

How is this all paid for?

AR: It’s paid for through Medicare and Medicaid, and can be private pay.

Tell me about your upcoming events.

HANCI has three events this year.

As part of our ninetieth celebration, our CEO John Kinner came up with the idea to highlight senior citizens age ninety and above who live and grew up or at one time had a special connection in Niagara County and celebrate their lives. We put a flyer in several news papers and thought we’d get about twenty responses back. We ended up with more than ninety!

A world-class photographer, John Lagomaggiore, travels all around the world taking very unique photographs of people in their element—not just headshots.

Area Seniors Age Ninety and Above

John Cappello, 97 years old, from Niagara Falls. John has lived in Niagara Falls for over 75 years. He was born in Plantania, Italy, and arrived in America on a boat with his mother and younger brother. Soon after becoming a US citizen, he served in WWII in the Army stationed in France and Germany. His key to living a long happy life is “service to others.” His favorite things to do are: Bocce, dancing, spending time with his family (4 children, 9 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren).

Marion and Austin Nobles (Marion, 90; Austin, 95 ), from North Tonawanda.

Austin served in WWII as an airplane mechanic. He raised 6 children and loves his 12 grandchildren and 20 great grandchildren. He’s been married to Marion for 70 years and his lived in Niagara County for 50 years. He loves gardening and his roses.

Photos by John Lagomaggiore

He donated his time to do this project. We’re hoping to release it in conjunction with our ninetieth anniversary gala on November 16.

Several people in the book will be honored at the gala.

And you’re hosting a senior prom?

Yes. HANCI kind of revived it three years ago—we have a lot of intergenerational programs in our agency. We looked for community sponsors, who responded overwhelmingly. We were able to raise enough money to provide entertainment, dinner, and the prom experience. It’s a free community event, we get about 400 people [200 seniors and 200 local high school student “dates”].

It’s important to our CEO to keep it free and open to the community.

Antonio’s is also one of our sponsors.

We have the whole ballroom, we even take over the restaurant.

Lewiston-Porter, Niagara Falls, and Niagara Wheatfield high schools send a lot of kids, along with other area districts. Each student is paired September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 29

NEWS up with a senior—sometimes they’re paired up with a couple, sometimes a man, sometimes a lady.

It’s all themed. This year it’s a luau with a live Caribbean band.

They’ll get a bunch of photos with their prom date. There’s a big candy table that’s always a big hit. There’s no dress code, but they do like to dress up, get their hair done.

We reached out to businesses in the community to donate prizes, so as a way to get everyone participating and dancing, the DJ or host goes around with trivia questions, and gives everybody tickets to win prizes. They get a sitdown dinner, they get waited on.

We try to make it as prom-like as possible.

We have live music this year, the Caribbean Extravaganza Steel Drum Band. It has a five-year-old drummer, which offers the intergenerational aspect we’re looking for. It will be very interactive, including a limbo contest.

You’ve got a lot on your plate this year, including a gala. What is that about?

I will start by saying the 575 people who participate in our volunteer center, Senior Companion Program, Foster Grandparent Program, and Retired & Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP) will all be getting a ticket to attend. We’re hoping to have around one thousand people.

One component of the gala will be honoring those 575 seniors that we have active in those three programs, who volunteer and give back to the community. That’s a lot of seniors. They go out and mentor in the schools, senior companions go into homes—it might be a senior citizen who can’t afford aid service— the person comes in and becomes their extended family. They pick up prescriptions or drive them to doctor appointments or make them lunch.

For RSVP, we pull people from all walks of life into volunteering back in the community. For instance, a

retired biology teacher volunteers at the zoo.

The gala will be held at Seneca Niagara Casino. We have Jack Civiletto and his orchestra playing.

He sounds like Frank Sinatra—he’s really good.

We’ve had a lot of support from

government leaders and business leaders in the community. We’re hoping it’s going to be a really great event to culminate our ninetieth anniversary here.

Wendy Guild Swearingen is editor of Forever Young.

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Health Association of Niagara County, Inc. 1302 Main Street, Niagara Falls 285-8224 hanci.com Senior Prom Luau Sunday, October 15 Antonio’s Banquet & Conference Center 7708 Niagara Falls Boulevard, Niagara Falls For reservations call: 285-8224, ext. 135 For sponsorship info call: 285-8224 ext. 127 90th Anniversary Gala Thursday, November 16 Seneca Niagara Resort & Casino 310 4th Street, Niagara Falls For more info call: 285-8224 ext. 100

O

nce again, Forever Young is asking our readers to cast their votes. We’ll count them up, determine the winners, and announce them in our December issue. Ballots must be received by Nov. 1.

To make your vote count, simply fill out the ballot and mail it to Attn: FY Faves, Forever Young, 1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103, Buffalo, NY 14207 or vote online. Only ballots with at least 20 categories filled out will be considered.

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GETAWAYS

Around the World in Montreal STORY AND PHOTOS BY VICTOR BLOCK

D

espite its international appeal, this ‘round-the-world tour didn’t require much travel. A comfy pair of walking shoes was all we needed to explore the intriguing neighborhoods that combine to make Montreal a kaleidoscope of cultures and customs. The fact that it’s a compact, mostly flat city makes it pleasant to explore on foot. As an alternative, it has an excellent bus and subway system.

After enjoying a bountiful dim sum breakfast, my wife Fyllis and I strolled past shops selling merchandise that we had seen during visits to China.

Some stores displayed unrecognizable animal body parts, while others

stocked herbal remedies said to heal a hospital full of ills.

Lunch meant steaming bowls of pasta accompanied by Chianti wine, and a pause to watch several men competing in a lively game of bocce.

The day ended by sampling the Parisian-like charm of cafes overlooking cobblestone streets packed with people strolling and riding in horse-drawn carriages.

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reputation for French flair, a surprising mélange of other nationalities also share the scene. During our first day of sightseeing, we concentrated on Old Montreal (Vieux-Montreal), the Old Port (Vieux-Port) and neighborhoods within a short stroll.

The cafes and shops of the city’s old neighborhood lend a distinct Parisian air. The first European settlers arrived there in 1642, and some buildings that still stand trace their history back to the seventeenth century.

At the Vieux-Port, working docks have been replaced by an eclectic choice of attractions and activities.

River cruises and outdoor exhibits vie for attention with the Montreal Science Center. Its displays range from the surprisingly interesting story of operation of a major harbor

GETAWAYS

A horse-drawn carriage in Old Montreal Photos by Victor Block

and a fascinating multimedia representation of the human brain to ancient archeological treasures and props from Indiana Jones movies.

Very different settings lay a short walk away. Arches spanning a narrow street and rooftop pagodas announce

that you’ve entered Chinatown, established in the 1860s when Chinese workers came to Canada to toil in mines and on the railroads.

Today, some of their descendants run restaurants and shops and take part in traditional exercises in any open space

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Trendy rather than traditional is the order of the day in the Village (Le Village) neighborhood, which epitomizes Canada’s reputation as an open, accepting society. It’s one of the largest LGBTQ enclaves in the world, seemingly alive at all hours of day and night. While some restaurants, bars, and shops cater primarily to locals, many serve a general clientele that gives the Village broad appeal as an entertainment and tourism center.

Food, arts, and entertainment characterize three neighborhoods that we combined into another day. Not surprisingly, dining is a focus of much that occurs in Little Italy, where one of Montreal’s largest cultural groups arrived and set up shop in the late nineteenth century. It’s difficult to ignore mouth-watering aromas of pasta and pizza wafting out of trattorias and caffes.

Arts in a variety of forms have been a trademark of the Plateau neighborhood since the 1960s.

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That’s when it became a magnet for writers, artists, and musicians, a role it continues to fill. This also is where many young professionals and other members of the “in” crowd gather to socialize.

The Latin Quarter (Quartier Latin) would feel very much at home in the area of Paris for which it was named.

As in the French capital, streets teem with life, and restaurants and watering holes attract multi-generational throngs of fun-seekers. Bookstores, movie houses, and theatres add a cultural touch to the ambience.

During our last day of sightseeing, we combined a dramatic overlook of the city with a journey beneath it. Rising to a height of 765 feet at the tallest of its three peaks, Mount Royal is more hill than mountain. Yet it holds a place dear in the heart of many residents.

Its French name, Mont Real, was adopted for the metropolis that now surrounds it. The rise is blanketed by woods laced with hiking trails that pass beneath century-old trees. The setting provides opportunities for a variety of outdoor pursuits, including spotting some of more than 140 species of birds that hang out there, and enjoying dramatic views over the city below.

Very different from the heights of Mont Royal in both altitude and attitude is another favorite haunt of both locals and tourists. This is an eighteen-mile network of underground walkways connecting some 2,000 shops, restaurants, entertainment venues, and other attractions, where it never rains or snows and the temperature is always perfect. The vast subterranean space, the largest underground complex in the world, provides indoor access to department stores, hotels, museums, theatres, and cinemas along the streets above.

Mile End, a tiny section of the Plateau borough, is the most diverse neighborhood of all. Artists and filmmakers, hipsters, and a virtual United Nations of immigrants call it home.

Among people we passed on the street were a red-wigged Lady Gaga wannabe wearing what appeared

Pagoda-topped archways and buildings are a trademark of Chinatown in Montreal.

to be pajamas, and both men and women displaying elaborate tattoos on most of their exposed skin.

Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to explore other equally enticing neighborhoods. Little India, Little Greece, and Little Portugal are among concentrations of people from various countries, where shops sell traditional items and restaurants serve typical food.

Scenes like these lend Montreal a very distinctive air. Beneath the veneer of a large modern city lies a potpourri of neighborhoods that combine to provide a rich and varied lifestyle for residents, and an inviting experience for visitors.

If you go Every season in Montreal has its attractions, and more than ninety festivals and hundreds of special events take place throughout the year. A pass that provides entry into thirty-four museums over three days costs $45 or $50 including unlimited bus and metro rides. For more information, log onto tourisme-montreal.org. FY Victor Block writes about travel for numerous publications in the United States and around the world.

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9 September 2 Veterans Connecting through Art Veterans—and their spouses or caregivers—participate in a guided tour of the museum’s collection followed by a hands–on art experience.

2–4 p.m., Albright–Knox Art Gallery (1285 Elmwood Ave.; albrightknox.org or 882–8700)

September 14 The Simon & Garfunkel Story The immersive concert–style theater show chronicles the journey shared by the folk rock duo, Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel.

Sept. 14–15, 8 p.m., Seneca Niagara Casino (310 4th St., Niagara Falls; senecaniagaracasino.com or 299–1100)

September 9 Buffalo Saturday Artisan Market Shop the all locally hand made artisan market where the maker is the seller, plus live music and food trucks.

10 a.m. Canalside (44 Prime St.; buffalosaturdayartmarket.com or 574–1537)

September 19 Game Night at the Museum Connect with friends and like–minded peers for behind–the–scenes access to the Albright–Knox.

5:30, Albright-Knox Art Gallery (1285 Elmwood Ave.; albrightknox.org or 882–8700)

September 30 Historic Roycroft Campus Fall Art Show The show features a variety of artists, produce, and cultural groups, live animals from Thistle Creek Alpacas and Wild Spirit Education, and artist demonstrations in copper and glass.

Through Oct. 1, 10 a.m.–5 p.m., Roycroft Campus (31 South Grove St., East Aurora; roycroftcampuscorporation.com or 655–0261) September 2017 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 37