Wtshes for A Prosperous Nlew Year

We appreciate gready your cooperation and goodwill in 1974, and alrsure you that -BIG TIMBER- products will continue to be

THRU LUMBER YARDS''

In oiler that my business wiII be given an even better chance to ptofit throughout 19i5, I resolve to fteeP in closer conlnct with my McCormicft salesman, thereby receiving the benefit of his company's 25 genrs' experience senting the retail lumber trade.

Satire

The golf links lie so near the mill, That every toiling day, The working children can look out And see the men at play.

The New Steno

He was engaging a new stenographer, and the conversation went like this:

"Chew gum?" he asked.

"No, sir.tt t'No, sir.tt ttNo, sir."

"Talk slang?"

"RolI your eyes at the salesmen?"

"Know how to spell 'cat, and ,dog'?"

"Yes, sir," ttNo, sir.tt

"Ilave lots of phone calls?"

He was trying to th:ink of something'else nasty to ask, when suddenly she took a hand, and began popping questions at him:

"Smoke cheap cigars while dictating?', ttN-ever.tt

"\Mhy-er-no," he gasped.

"Raise Hell with the stenographer when things go wrong at home?"

"Cer-tainly not."

"Bang things around on your desk when business is bad?"

"Raise the roof when an employe gets caught in a traffic jam?"

"No, indeed."

"Know enough to appreciate a good stenographer when you get one?"

"I-f think so."

"All right, you're accepted. go to work?" When do you want me to

A Smile

No one needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give.

An Elective Despotism

"An elective despotism is not the government we fought for, but one founded on free principles, in which the powers of government should be so divided and balanced that no one can transcend their legal limits without being checked and restrained by the others."-James Madison.

Paganini

He shambled arfkward on the stage, the while Across the waiting audience, swept a smile. With awkward touch when first he drew the bow He snapped a string, the audience tittered low. Another stroke, off flies another string; With laughter now the waiting galleries ring. A third string breaks its quivering strands And hisses gteet the player as he stands. He stands-the while-his genius unbereft-is calm; One string, and Paganini, left. He plays-that one string's daring notes uprise Against that storm as if it sought the skies. A silence falls, the people bow

And they who erst had hissed, are weeping now. And, when the last note, trembling died away, Some shouted 'Bravo'! Some, had learned to pray !

His Mistake

"The mistake f made," said the olyner of the cheap watch to the jeweler who was looking over the wreck of his timepiece, "was in dropping that watch on the floor."

"No," said the wise jeweler, "the mistake you made was in picking it up."

Learning English

A Frenchman was relating his experience in trying to learn the English language. ,.When I first discovered that if I was quick I was fast, and that if I was tied I was fast, if I spent too freely I was fast, and that not to eat was to fast-I was discouraged. But when I came across the sentence, 'The first one won one one-dollar prize,' I gave up trying to learn English."-Bramwords.