Fun, Facts and Filosophy

A Recipe For Success

A youth just out o'f college, asked a hard headed business man what was the best way to get started right in business.

"'Sell your wrist watch, and buy an alarm clock," was the prompt answer.

Between Safety And Religion

A man at a revival meeting was repeatedly urged to join the penitents. Finally he rose and remarked: "Frien'ds, I want to repent and tell you how bad I've been, but I dassent do it right now."

"The Lord will forgive," the revivalist shouted.

"Maybe he will," replied the prospect, "But lle ain't on the Grand Jury, and they're in session right now."

WHAT IS THAT SECOND LINE ANYHOW?

First Clerk: "I went in just now and told the Boss that if he di'dn't raise my salary I'd quit."

Second Clerk: "And what did he reply."

First Clerk: "l{e referred me to the second line of Hail, Hail, the Gang's All Here."

Love And Friendship

By W. C. Brann

"That I am unable to appreciate that P,latonic yearning of soul for soul, that deep calling unto deep, of which I have read, is my misfortune rather than my fault. It appears to me too much like voting the Prohibition ticket, or playing poker with Confederate currency.

"When I love a woman, I love'her up one side and down the other. I may be an uncultured and barbari,c noddle, but I want to get hold of her and bite her neck. I want to cuddle her sunny curls on my heaving shirt-front, when I talk to her. I believe with Tennyson, in the spirits rushing together at the touching of the lips, and I just crowd up and let'em rush.

"Some men MAY esteem women for their socie'ty, with never a thought of sex, but that isn't love. Love, as I understand the term, is to friendship's non-consuming flame, what the fierce glare of the noonday sun, is to the mild radiance of the harvest moon. It is something that makes two persons of the opposite sexes absolutely necessary to each other. It tis a glory in which the sou'l is bathed; an almost savage melody that beats within the blood. Love is not altogether of the earth earfhly. It is born of the spirit as well as the flesh; of .the perfume as well as the beauty, of the great red rose."

THE SACRAMENT OF DIVORCE , By

Droier

I have just been reading in the papers that the Episcopalians have been much stirred recently by the remarks of one of their ministers on the subject of DIVORCE. The papers were filled with letters from, and interviews with pastors who prattled about the sanctity of the home, and the blessedness of marrie'd life.

Not a single one, however, had a word to say about the sacredness of DIVORCE.

Now, every open-minded, c.learthinking person must admit that when a man and woman are married and spend their days hating each other and wishing to God they were free again, marriage is not a holy thing.

Marriage is nothing but partnership. A man an'd, woman marry, thinking that together they can do a better job of living than they can working separately. They marry to have a home, to beget and raise children (I shout this in a loud, broadcasting voice) and to be happy.

If the marriage of Jim and Susan produces continuous unhappiness, and Jim and Susan, aftertrying and trying and trying some more, discover that they harmonize like a couple of Tom-cats tied by their tails and tossed over a rope, the sooner the blessed sacrament of d'ivorce is administered to them the better, for their children (if they 'have any), the better for the neighborhood, and the better for humanity as a whole.

HO\I/ TO JUDGE EACH OTHER

rf you must judge us, judge us for what we strlve for.

{f we are weak, be tolerant.

If we be s'trong, piay that we become not arrogant.

If our mistakes injure you, tell us of them, and trust in our sense of justice to make reparation.

If we cannot agree on details, such as politics or re.ligion, then let us agree on the broader principle of human kindness, for when we put aside the accumulation of opinions that are the children of self interest, we will find a family resemblance in the faces of all men.

An Ambitious Coon

"Sam Johnsing am sutinly de mos ambitious niggah in dishere tovi'n."

"Ambitious ?"

"Yassuh. Dat man ain't nevvah goin to be satisfied ontil dat u'ife o' hisn is doin all de washin's in dis town."