MY FAVORITE STORIES

By lack Dionne

not guaranteed-Some I have told for 2O years-Some less.

He Thought They Were Pulling Off An Indignation Meeting

Two frishmen were standing on the coffrer in ong of our cities, when there came down the middle of the street a parade of Shriners in their full regalia.

They were brand new to one of the gentlemen from the Emerald Isle, aqd he looked at their costumes and Fezes in wondermenL

Favors Voluntary Industrial Regulation

Washington, D. C., April 30.-Secretary Hoover, as chairman, made it plain to the National Wood Utilization Committee, meeting here, that timber conservation-involving reforestation on the one hand and better utilization of wood products on the other-was properly a matter for voluntary action instead of governmental regulation. In fact, Mr. Hoover went so far as to say that nothing could be accomplished in this direction by governmental action. He cited lumber standardization as an outstanding example of what organized industry can do, unhampered by government.

The Best in Oak Flooring Manufacture

A ahipment of Long-Bell trade-marL,ed oak flooring reachea'you in frrst class s6ndi1i6n-ihs reatrlt of atandardg of manufacture, loading and ahipping unsurpaosed in the induatry.

Study theee points of nrpcriority: l-The greateEt care is used in the aelection of raw material.

2-All the elementa of kiln drying are undcr exacting control.

3-.The utmost precioion in the operation of mechanical equipment.

4-A system of grading and inapection pledging thc bect and mort uniform rcgults.

5-Carcful loading and every preeaution to prevent damage in transit.

It is constant adherence to theee practices which aaturea the dealer of having, in Long-Bell tradc-marked oak flooring, a product a8 near perfect as man and machinery can make it.

Plentr rt

Pb. Btui, Art. Halcne, Arlc InngvilL, t-. (!-ot-Boll Brud) (Supcrlor Brud) (Long-Bcll Bnnd)

The Long-Bell Lumber Company

H. A. Lonr Bldr. Krarar Clty, Mo.

Lunbcmcn Slncc llil6

"What the Devil is them?" he asked the other Irishman.

"Them's Shriners," said the more sophisticated one.

"An' what's Shriners?" asked the first.

"They're Masons," said the other.

"Masons?" exclaimed the first. "Well, what the Hell are they strikin' for. They're gettin' twelve dollars a day now

HUNTINGTON PARK HAS NEW YARD

The William M. Robbins Lumber {ompany has opened a yard on Slauson Avenue and Downey Road, Huntington Park.

HAYWARD OPENING NEW YARD

Hayward Lumber & Investment Company is opennew yard at Los Banos.

Platner & Holly Pico Street, Santa

NEW YARD have opened a new retail yard at 3326 Monica.

Continuous Testinj

Seopler e!? cut &on cvrry li&r tnr & of lunbcr, weighcd on r 6nely djurtcd gren rcahr belred bone dry' in en. ohctric oven, thcn rc-reigbcd. By thir exactitrg prtc.r wc na&c eurc that evcry plre of lunber &r tined for *Bverlertinglt Hardrood Ftooriag onteinr the ptopcr noirture content There ir no gue$wo*, at anf *age ofnanufacture.

NICHOIS & COX LUMBER CO.

GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAI\

*The Ho* of Fine Woo4oorliw*

HOBSON'S CHOICE

An eastern m n on a business trip through the west, stopped at a smdl hotel in a country town one day. He entered the dining room, and a waiter showed him to a table.

"Will you have some pork and beans, sir?" asked the waiter, as he brought a glass of water.

"No" said the eastern marl "I never eat pork and beans." "Dinner is over then, sir" said the waiter, as he moved aveay.

Little Ah Sid

Little Ah Sid was a Chinese kid, A cute little boy you'd declare, With eyes full of fun and a nose that begun, Right up at the roots of his hair.

Jolly and fat was this frolicksome brat As he played through the long summer day, And he braided his queue as his father used to In Chinaland far far away.

Once over the lawn that Ah Sid played upon, A bumble bee flew in the spring, "Melican butterfly" said he, with winkinE eye, "Me catchee and pull em off wing."

Then with his cap he struck it a rap, This innoce,nt bumble beeA4d put its remains in the' seat of his jeans, For a pocket there had the Chinee.

Down on the green sat the little sardine, With a style that was strangely demure, And said with a grin that was brim full of sin" "Me mashee um butterfly sure."

Little Ah Sid was only a kid, Nor could you expect him to guess, Wbat Hnd of a bug he was holding so snug, trn the folds of his loose fitting dress.

"Kl-yal Kip-phy-yee!" Ah Sid cried as he Rose hwriedly up from the spot, "Ki-yat Yup-a'kan! Dam um'Melican manUm butterfly ve$y.much hot!"

..GENTLEMAN" 'DEFINED

A gefitlerran, in the truest sense of the word, is a man whd in his ilaily life practices gentleness, kindliness, consideration, moderation, mutual helpfulness, and the belief that one man's privileges ends where another man's rights begin

INFIDELS? I

A careful study of their words, works, and lives, demon-' strates the fact that most of the famous "infidels" of thei world's history, were not so much men who refused to be-i lieve in God, as men who refused to accept some little man'si idea of God. The little man, having neither visio4 norl sense of humor, misses this fact, atrd calls him "infidel."1 But the Master said-"By their (not 'words' nor 'claims'l nor'creeds') WORKS ye shall know them," and many ofi the so.called great "infidels" were men who did great worksl for others.

Generally the merl who cry "infidel" at others, are pos-' ressed of the same spirit that created the instruments of! torture in the old days with which to tear and rend ths flesh of those who refused to agree with them. i

Herbert Spenc N Thinking And Healthi

Herbert Spencer, the Naturalist, taught that our English Philosopher and' ing arid our well-being are! inseparably allied to one so is he," is a practical, eve,ryday life.

; that "as a man thinketh,; of living and enjoying

He believed that cheerful, happy ble to sunshine on plant harmony, and as such, are construct clared to be sarlitary; kindliness to be works for health. These happy Spencer, a quality in the blood called essentially vitalizing and life producin ions are compara-l create health andf

Good will he de''[ ygenic; friendshipl ons secrete, saysf ism, which is1

On the other hand, fear, hate, and emotions of un-' to clog circulation,i rs, and stupify the' kindliness evolve a toxin which disturb digestion, congest the senses; and aims to the dissolution destruction of life, He believed that all that embi saddens, and disap-l points produces a chemical c that makes for disaster,l and hurries death.

"A poison" said of hate."

Spencer,'"is only a concentrated form

"uNcLE JOE" AND A OF

BOOKS

Uncle Joe Cannon, famous of Rqlresentatives, once paid for a set cbased with a check, upon the back of came it o""" to"l the House of he had punhe wrote these words: 'This check is in full paymentlegal and moral for sixty volumes of books. The are not worth a. damn-and are dear at that. 'We are too old to learn,. but the way your gentlemanlY Uncle Joseph is worth the full

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