The Cross - Jesus Carries Your Suffering Written
I have spent many years grappling with why we suffer. People had tried explaining the concept to me, I have watched video after video of pastors and apologists explaining suffering and I spent time reading the various scriptures covering suffering. None of these avenues were settling the matter in my heart. I was angry for a large portion of my young adult years. When you experience trauma as a young child, there are wounds that eventually form hard, thick scars if not dealt with correctly. Thick scars that constantly remind you of your suffering and cause pain in certain conditions. It is only through God, and at times, outside help, that these scars can correctly heal. Instead of accepting situations and these childhood experiences, I was questioning them as I realised it was morally wrong and the answers I was getting weren’t making sense. I I had gone through experiences that had left me broken and had caused me to act in ways that left me ashamed. This broke me in ways I didn’t know how to heal from and I didn’t understand how a 07
by
Robyn Hat tingh
loving God had allowed them to happen. I blamed Him for what had happened and for not healing me enough to allow me to act in ways that were true to myself. I had to reach a point where I had no choice but to come before God, broken and in dire need of His truth and revelation in my life, in my brokenness and in my questions. I’m not bashing the other avenues I had tried, they definitely helped me. But God had to work in my heart before truth could sink in. The moment God breathed His truth and life into my brokenness and questions, that’s the moment I started to experience joy like I had never before. I saw Him in the moments where I was at my lowest. I saw Him in the words of encouragement from friends. I saw Him in the gentle whispers, the questions and the stirrings of my heart. I knew that despite the sin and brokenness in the world, He was good in it all. He had a plan despite it. He cried when I cried out in pain, His heart broke alongside mine and He felt the heaviness of my burdens. And He carried that heaviness
