The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives. Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities. While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books. This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
Out of Sight O.Delgado
When a comment was said that we were leaving the country I really didn't think that she meant that we were leaving the country for real. I just made one of them faces like okay whatever you say, but little did I know that she had bought the plane tickets and she knew exactly what to do for us to get our passports sooner than most people intending to leave the states.
She had mentioned that we had an appointment one day to go downtown to pick up our passports. I parked in the parking garage and went inside a building I had never been in before. I let her lead the way cause I was dum dum at what we were doing. I'm always aware of my surroundings. I was on a floor in a building I've never been in. I didn't know anything about anything but she did say that we were there to pick up our passports, how? if my parents always told me that it took months to obtain a passport. So I was in denial but the brain of this girl had nothing that could stop her from doing anything cuz she was so goddamn smart.
We were called by a lady sitting behind a counter. Babe had explained to her that we were there because we were flying out in 2 weeks and needed emergency passports. The lady behind the counter asked to see the plane tickets along with our IDs. I thought plane tickets were a bunch of papers that are given to the attendant at the security checkpoint before boarding a plane. How is it that she showed the lady her phone and she had the damn tickets loaded on her screen. I was like this fuckin technology shit, I was still not used to all of this.
That new shit that you're able to do just by using your phone. I never purchased any damn plane tickets, never even thought about taking a flight somewhere, especially leaving the states to travel to Mexico.
The lady told us that it was going to be around $190 for each passport we said, not a problem. Our passports were ready quicker than I thought. She handed them to us and said enjoy your trip. What? I have a passport now and why now?
I felt excited after all the times my parents would tell me to go apply for your passport and I would never do it. I must have looked at it so many times and then she said (give me that before you lose it.) Okay kool you hold em genius since you know it all. Now, I’m in the parking lot thinking are we really going to Cancun, the party city of Mexico that many talk about? How the fuck and why the fuck did you decide to go to Cancun? OH I know why cause you're so goddamn smart and you found a deal didn't you? (Babe said see I told you we was leaving the states) Man quit saying that shit, you make me feel like we going to Afghanistan or some shit like that.
All types of ideas and thoughts crossed my mind. I told myself I got 2 weeks to get all my shit together. Babe you got luggage? She said yup the ones we can carry on a plane. How the fuck you know all this shit? Let me find out you went on a trip with Sancho. Is that why I've been sneezing a lot, she busted out laughing. Sancho is a Spanish slang in English it means her other boo thang but it was no biggie to me that she had gone on trips before. She never left the states especially to take a flight to Mexico.
Two weeks, time's up, the day finally came and we put our luggage in the truck. I then headed towards a hotel near the airport where a shuttle bus would be taking us to the airport. I remember passing through the security checkpoint and walking towards the terminal. This is all new to me.
When I was younger my parents took us on a flight to Mexico.
I must have been around 8 or so but I don't remember much about that so this trip was a new beginning at what I had been missing. All the food stands that we passed up on our way to the terminal looked so delicious but damn near everything was so damn expensive. The last thing we needed was to be using the restroom on the plane so we didn't overdo it with anything we ate.
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It was time to board the plane, we arrived at our seats, and put our luggage inside the luggage compartment which is above your seats and I sat next to the window. Babe had brought some pillows that everyone had around their necks to fall asleep on. But if anyone was going to fall asleep it wasn't going to be me. As the plane began taking off it turned in many directions. I looked out the window at the airport as the plane began to speed up (fasten your seatbelts I kept hearing). Dang ain't no one trying to stand up with the plane moving so fast. That shit had me paranoid. Me and my girl locked hands as we went up to the sky. It was quiet (nobody said a word). Finally the ride seemed calm but I knew we was high as fuck and what I saw out my window was clouds, lots of em.
The houses and buildings seemed to have disappeared. I grabbed my phone and started taking pictures. There was nothing there besides clear blue skies and clouds like the shit that the weather girl mentions on the news. I looked around people started to fall asleep. I ask myself why would anyone want to miss anything that might pass by their window? Idk I shook my head.
The flight was going to take a few hours but no matter how long it took I wasn't going to sleep. I would hear (I'm going to take 2-3 hour nap. By the time I wake up we should be there.) I told myself these people must fly a lot or they must come to Cancun quite often. HOW DA FUCK COULD YOU FALL ASLEEP PEOPLE/IN THE MIDDLE OF A FLIGHT/IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY.
My girl had her head on my shoulder. She was alert and awake as I asked what it is that we were going to do? She said don't know yet, but we'll figure it out when we get there. I kept my view out the window. If a bird passed by I didn't want to miss it. If I saw something that was going to be a memory I wanted to record it and take a picture of it. I did not want to miss anything, this trip was going to be talked about forever.
Then after being in the sky for a while the plane all of a sudden shook. What the fuck is happening? I look at my girl, I looked around and I asked her what the fuck is going on? She said Babe it’s turbulence, it'll go away. It fuckin better cause we ain't on no fuckin road for this damn plane to be shaking like this.
We finally landed in Cancun, Mexico, one of the party cities in Mexico. I was too excited. I felt like a little kid not knowing what I was about to see. Getting off the plane I felt the heat hit me. It was humid and the perfect weather to go swimming but I did not know what we were going to do. The hotel we was going to had a shuttle bus at the airport. We hopped on it with a bunch of other people and off we went to our destination.
The ocean was huge, hotels were everywhere and everything that moved caught my attention. I had smiles that I couldn't get rid of. I was happy that she made this trip happen. Babe, we gon have lots of fun she smiled. As we got closer to our hotel I looked out the window only to see a teenager holding up a shirt that said fuck Donald Trump. I couldn't stop laughing 30 minutes later we arrived.
The hotel was huge, it had tons of floors and the entrance was so wide that it welcomed you with open arms. We walked inside to check in. People tried to help, but I said we got it. Not sure if they understood me but I guess they did cause they walked away. Once again Babe had it all set up on her phone. I was never good with phones. I didn't care to learn shit about em besides texting and using common apps. I'm back from the old days where Prime Co phones didn't have any of this high-tech shit.
Our room was up high in like the 10th floor. I looked up, I'm like damn this mothafucka big. We got on the vator and headed towards our room. It must have been around 1 p.m. or so. I was ready to shower, change and get the fuck out that room as soon as possible and so was she.
I looked out the window and admired the view. I was speechless as I looked around but not until I really saw the rearview of the hotel. Once me and Babe got ready we headed back to the lobby where we headed to the rear of the hote l. Holy shit! I said. I took many pictures.
The Ocean was huge. It seemed as if it surrounded us. I couldn't see the end of it from the front to the side. I instantly told Babe you think that water is cold? She said I don't know, let's find out. The water was just a short distance away. It's like the hotel was built on top of water, that was some scary shit. I remember taking off my sandals and approaching the water slowly. I hated the feeling of putting my feet in the cold ass water. Babe, it's warm as fuck, come on! We jumped in and the feeling of being in warm water that was not salty was the best feeling ever.
The next day we ate breakfast in the cafeteria area of the hotel. We started our day early since the night before we avoided doing too much that would keep us in bed. Rise and shine and it was above 80 °. We got ready and left the hotel. We hopped on a taxi and he took us to see different views of Cancun. We took hella pictures seeing things that make you say wooow. We headed back towards the hotel and got dropped off, time to lounge around da streets. I kept my hand glued to hers cuz I just don't trust my surroundings. People knew we were tourists, they all tried to sell us something. In Cancun they have many people selling you tickets for a boat ride or a show or tickets to enter a club, but me not knowing shit I didn't trust any of them. Not to say they were not legit but prices was a problem. How did I know they wasn't trying to up the prices on me for everything they tried to sell? Fuck that, I waited.
We walked down a sidewalk cause we was headed to a mall we saw when we first arrived at the hotel. They had bus stops all throughout Cancun. We decided to go into a few stores and bought a few minor things. Then we walked some more. That's when I saw signs telling us to be careful with the crocodiles I said wtf. Babe wasn't scared, she really wasn't that girl that would be like run unless she really saw one. It was something definitely not normal, crocs in the swamp and bus stops right next to the swamp. Ain't this some shit.
We got on the bus and he said y'all paying in pesos or dollars we said dollars it must have been like 2 dollars for the both of us. Once we arrived at the mall, everyone spoke English fluently. I thought they weren't going to understand us but I was wrong.
All the stories I dun heard I wasn't sure what to expect. We shopped, bought a few things and lounged for a few then headed back to the hotel. We took all of our belongings to our room cause we had decided that we was going to rent a wave runner.
At first it became difficult because the one we found said that we had to cross the street and go to the swamp of the crocodiles. I said hell naw, Babe shook her head saying they must not be scared of them crocs. We ended up walking to the rear of the hotel and continued walking a distance to the right cause we had seen someone riding one and there they were. The sign said 30 dollars for 30 minutes. Fuck it, come on, Babe. She was ready. The instructor said go fast cause the waves are high you need to get as far as possible to avoid the waves. I said okay I got this.
It was much harder than I thought. We put on our life vests and took off. Babe you good? Yes I am, not knowing that she was too busy trying to record our adventure into the ocean. I tried going over many waves but they was hitting us hard. I turned sideways trying to avoid colliding with them but it was hard. Finally I gave it gas and I was pretty far off the shore. That's when a wave hit us so hard that it flipped us over and into the ocean we went. The wave runner had flipped over and I had my life vest on and so did she. The problem was that the vest she had on was causing her to drown; it literally had her underwater. The vest she had on was not doing any justice for her tiny body. I instantly started looking for her. Within seconds our instructor was there and he reached his hand, but I said no get her first. I swam to the waverunner that was flipped over and was holding on to it.
Once the instructor came by me he helped me flip over the waverunner and I got on. He told her to get on with me but I said no, fuck that. We wasn't gonna die in the ocean in Cancun. I got scared not for me, for her. Just thinking what if he would’ve not saw us in the water, what really would’ve happened? Would I have been able to save her or was she going to be able to take that life vest off and swim to the waverunner. I always have that in mind, what if.
We made it back to shore I said thanks but I'm good no more of that. I looked at the waves and must have shook my head just looking deep into the ocean where we fell. Then Babe says I got it recorded when we flipped. I said wait, what? She said I started recording right before we flipped and she said when I was underwater I got that, too. I said are you fuckin serious? I couldn't believe it until I saw the recording on her phone. We must have told everyone about this.
We laughed it off but that story was no joke. Then the thought of what is underneath that water crossed my mind, the ocean was huge and wide. It was the ATLANTIC OCEAN!
What I saw was hotel after hotel right next to the shore. People enjoying life, something that many are blind to and places that yet have not been seen by others.
We walked towards some rocks. Babe what's all them people staring at. I don't know let's go check it out. It was a bunch of boulders on top of each other. We walked on top of them only to see what people saw “lots of colorful fish.” I stared at them for quite some time. I looked around and still couldn't believe that I was in Cancun.
The nightlife came; it must have been around 10 p.m. at night and we was ready to get lit. We had walked down the sidewalk that had a variety of things, restaurants and stores. People continued walking up to us trying to sell us something. One guy stood out and he had tickets that he said were to get into the strip club that was right behind us. It looked like a building with no signs of anything, but he said [strip club]. We didn't entertain anyone trying to sell us something. It was really hard to know if it was the real deal since we didn't know shit about shit. A girl was coming towards us. She was real pretty and had the body of a stripper. We both said she must be a stripper.
We walked in front of a club, the scene was out of a movie. The DJ was literally in front of us. The club had no windows; it was wide open. Just a few barriers so you wouldn't enter. You had to have a ticket and security guarded the entrance. I guess all places require some type of ticket to enter. The people selling tickets were everywhere. You couldn't walk nowhere without someone approaching you trying to sell you something. The tickets to the club included all you could drink.
I thought it was a good deal <in we went>. It was so crowded and it had a 2nd floor where you had a view of everyone that was on the 1st floor. We ordered some drinks but after two, our stomachs was hurting. It was not actual liquor, it was water down and it tasted more like Kool-Aid than actual liquor. We lasted less than 2 hours before we decided to leave, so far no good. On to the next one.
There was a place called Señor Frogs. This place is rare and only a few states have a location. Another fee we had to pay and this time it was not all you can drink. I didn't care as long as it was not water down shit. As soon as we walked in a girl greeted us and asked if we wanted to get body painting on our arm, hand, or whole body. Babe said how much? She said 5 dollars for the arm. So Babe decided to do it. She said it glows in the dark and she mentioned a show but I didn't know what she was talking about. This girl knew what she was doing. She drew art on Babe’s arm like she was a pro. I'm like damn I likes. She even convinced me to get my arm done. It was something different having someone draw on you.
Once the lights were dimmed it seemed everyone was glowing. Some had their boobs glowing others had their legs and face, I was liking this shit. I must have told myself wow a million times. Babe what are we sipping on? They had weird name cocktails. Fuck it get whatever as long as it's not that water down shit. Then smoke was everywhere. The room was dark and smoke started the show “finally.” No water down shit. We started recording something out of a movie. It was like some 3D shit robots shooting lasers at each other. It was unexplainable but it was going to be a memory that we would never forget.
The night was young and we stayed in that place for a while. I don't remember how many drinks we had. We were having a blast. I got Babe down and told her I'm going to use the restroom. I'll be back, stay right here and don't go nowhere. A few minutes later I'm back and Babe is talking to people she doesn't even know. She was enjoying every bit of the moment. It must have been around 3 a.m. I told Babe come on, let's go outside to see what's going on out there.
Babe what the hell are you doing? She shook her head like nothing but she actually had another girl dancing with her on top of the bar. Oh no I told myself she was feeling herself. I stood watching them do their thang, even the bartender was smiling. I'm sure someone already done this before I told myself, no biggie. Everyone was turned up. I seen guys approaching but in my mind I said na homie this ain't that, but I was in another country. In another world that I never been in.
I was out of bounds, not in the hood and my response was to take off on a disrespectful mothafucka. Lucky for me they was just watching. I said to myself y'all could look all you want <just don't touch>.
I seen police everywhere with assault rifles. They wasn't playing. We walked to check out what was going on at the other clubs. Lots of people still filled the streets but Babe was smacked. I said oh no, I grabbed her and kissed her. I had to take her back to the room, not before she walked away from me only to lift her leg, on a police officer who was facing the other way, and twerked. He didn't notice what she had done. All the people around us could not stop laughing. She was being the center of attention because she wouldn't stop yelling.
I could not stop laughing come here <she said no>. I'm like come here, she said no. I told her I'm recording you so you could know what you did tonight. She was yelling out for the ladies saying where the ladies at? I'm like shh as we walked towards our hotel, but it was a good feeling. She was lit more than me it was just hard to catch up to her. She walked onto the street so I yelled at her I said quit doing that. She was smacked but I loved every bit of her humor. I loved every moment we shared. I love the feeling of being in Cancun and the truth is I loved her so much for showing me that there's other places that will make me smile besides the hood. She showed me another part of life but good things come to an end, even our relationship. But this moment in my life will always be talked about even if 2 me she still wants to be my friend.
Oscar Delgado I Am I am from the Northwest Side of Chicago From 2 in the morning shootouts and 4 in da morning murders I am from 2534 N Luna, when police came knocking at my door I am from a neighborhood that won’t allow you to get 8 hours of sleep Cause your whips will be up in flames if you leave them parked in the streets I am from a block where ramming and shootouts are a part of life From a mother and father who gave me and my brothers nothing but love And from ol’ skool parents who believe that our girl friends must become our wives I am from a home where home cooked meals were better than any a menu From a father who was a hustler and his ambition became my ambition I am from skippin skool to being taught how car alarms are disabled And from stacking about 100 alpine radios on the table I am from the wicked streets of Fullerton And from the era where box chevys and ol’ skool bourbons filled the streets I am from Steinmetz High School From the 90s gangbangin grounds From having your joggin suit a certain color I am from right leg up and having a Bulls hat cocked to the right I am a box chevy LS, fuck the new cars And from ridin down Lake Shore Drive Cause my skyline is better than yours I am O Cause Chicago is my city that I call home
Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb Copyright
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