Brainstorming
Kendall Brown
The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives. Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities. While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books. This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
Brainstorming Kendall Brown
Hello, welcome to my world, my name is “Kendall Anthony Brown,” born October 23rd 1991. My mother named me after her favorite NBA player “Kendall Gill” and I got my middle name from my mother's big brother. She said he always got on her nerves when they were younger plus I look just like him lbs!
I grew up on the southside of Chicago, the “low end,” 40th and Langley where crack, coke, and weed was sold. I had my dad in my life, that's my dog fasho. I have two sisters and they have different dads. I know you like “his mama a thot.” My mother was a straight gangsta though. What I mean by gangsta is she always hustle to make sure we was straight. If it was a job or selling drugs, she made it happen for her kids. I love that lady with all my heart.
When my mother was doing her thing we stayed with my grandmother “NaNa,” what we called her. Our school was in the hood so we was good under granny roof. When we was staying with our mother she had a nigga named “Daryl,” she was with off and on and he was putting his hands on her until she gained the strength to pick something up and knock his ass out. He never put his hands on her again and they went their separate ways.
My mother got her life together, started back dating my sister “Keyanna’s” father. They got married 17 years ago and still counting. My mother works for the government and my step-dad does construction. My real dad is a sheriff of Cook County
You can say my life was decent until I jumped off the porch when I was like 13 years old. I was smoking weed and selling drugs behind my parents back. I got my first real shot of some pussy when I was in grammar school and my first shot of grown pussy so I had my nose wide in the air.
When I got in my early 20’s, I had my first child “K’miya” the most beautiful little chocolate baby girl. I got custody of my child when she was 2 years old. I started working, having different types of jobs and cutting hair on the side. Things was moving slow to me so I went back to hustling, picking up gun cases after gun cases. I been in and out of jail since the age of 22 years old, it’s time for a change because jail saved my life from these crazy streets.
I’m not proud of the life I was living because it took so much out of my child's life. I couldn't show her how a man is supposed to treat a young lady. My goal is to get my CDL and barber’s license plus my dealer license. I understand that's the hustle I wanna do to provide for my children and myself. Jail made me the man I am today because it’s so many places and things to cherish in life other than being locked up away from your family. I don’t wish this on anyone so stay focused on reaching your goals in life.
The craziest thing that hurted the most is when I came home from my basketball game when I was in grammar school. We won. I had 12 points and 4 rebounds. I rushed in the house to tell my granny about my game.
She already had heart problems so she ended up staying with my mother when she took us back under her roof. I was so heart broken to walk in on my granny “dead,” my young heart couldn’t take it. I lost my best friend, a second mother to me. When I got older I started to get in all types of trouble. I needed my grandmother for the good talks. Laughs, hugs and kisses.
When my granny passed away we moved to Dolton, Illinois to start a new life. I started my sophomore year at Thornridge H.S, got kicked out my junior year for selling weed. I ain’t go lie high school was the shit. I had all the girls plus I stay fly as hell.
I loved to hoop and shoot dice when we had gym class and smoke weed in the locker room. The suburbs was decent back in 2007-2009 when kids was good to go outside and ride they bikes and chase the ice cream man down.
I was on some other shit when I was making friends with people in the suburbs that I really didn’t care for. I was going over their cribs unlocking windows and basement doors and coming back when they wasn’t there.
I was stealing anything I can take to the pawn shop to get the best dollar for. I was so petty with the shit that I would pull up in new cars or new clothes and shoes that’s not out from the come up off they shit. I was just on petty don’t give a fuck type shit.
In 2010, I graduated from Sullivan House H.S. I went to a 2 year college in Mattoon, Il and took up the major for early childhood education. With college I didn't get a chance to finish because I was going back and forth to court for my child “K’miya.” My babymama was the devil back then because she grew up in DCFS care when her mother passed away when she was younger.
She was keeping my daughter away from me because I didn’t want to be with her. The shit was crazy to me, her attitude fucked up real bad. I never seen nobody like her that didn't want the father to be in they child life. So she was hurting me by keeping my baby away until I took her ass to court and won the custody battle to have my baby.
So college went downhill for me, so I focused on getting custody of my child. I got a job and started counting my blessings to the money. The work life was great until the money was coming in too slow for me. So I went back to what I know best.
I got me some drugs with my tax money and started trapping at my homie “Eric” crib. See he was already selling weed so it was already traffic coming in and out so he made room for me to eat with him. We had a close friend named DJ. His big brother was the plug so we elevated from nickel bags to moving weight. When the money increased, the haters were on our radar.
I remember when me, DJ, and Eric and one of my cousins went to a party on Michigan City Road in Calumet City. We was walking up on a group of females but to our right side eye view was some niggas we was into it with staring us down. We was out there high as hell off of molly and weed with a little bit of liquor so we was feeling ourself.
So one girl knew DJ real well because she got to talking shit to him because he broke into her house a long time ago so DJ told her “Bitch ain’t nobody gotta steal from you” and upped a bankroll of dead presidents that right there got the attention of our haters so they got on our ass.
So when DJ tried to put his bankroll in his pocket one of the dudes put a gun to his head but luckily Eric was behind DJ and pushed dude arm out the way so we could make a run for it to the car. But that didn't happen. I was the only one that made it to the car. My cousin and Eric ran different ways. DJ wasn't so lucky he got shot in the hand and leg while we were running from the gun fire.
Once I got to the car I thought DJ was dead because the dude was standing over him trying to go through his pockets. I started the car to use it as a weapon. The dude gun jammed up on him so when he saw the car coming his way he took off running. I saw DJ moving so I took my chances in opening the door and getting him inside taking him to the hospital on stateline in Indiana.
After that day we was war ready. I wasn’t thinking about nothin, these niggas got down on my homie. I was young and dumb moving wrong just to protect my homies. Once I went to jail in 2013 and the only person there for me was my mother.
My homies was doing them while I was doing time. So I look at it like ain’t no loyalty in these streets because I was there busting my ass to ride or die for niggas that really ain’t give a fuck about me. My family never let me down, they loyalty was always there.
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Kendall Brown I Am From I am from the Low End, 40th and Langley From Chicago’s southside and where you get your favorite drugs I am from Grandma Na Na house, where me and my sisters grew up at I am from mustard turnip greens, cornbread and fried chicken for dinner I’m from Sherine and Richard From humbleness and good hearted people And from loyalty over royalty I’m from where a old head told me The mind is a terrible thing to waste And from where you have to keep your gun because friends will backdoor you I’m from God himself is my savior I’m from Christ Hospital From making Kool-Aid with sugar and just eating the Kool-Aid with sugar From grandfathers like Red and BJ showing me how to be a man I am from where the good die young…
Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb Copyright
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