Campbell Yea,You Saved Me
Kenneth
Wassup Boom Boom, I had to write this. Daddy’s one and only love. It’s really a letter baby but it’s the story behind you. I got a cast on my hand right now, so just to write this is all the way around uncomfortable for me. I wanna tell you this story here 1st, of how you came about and God blessed me and brought you into my life. You saved me and gave me something to live for. You just like yo daddy lil ma. You keep it real blunt, raw and you ’ re very outspoken.
You were never a mistake or an accident. You were and still is the greatest gift I've ever received. When you ' re old enough to read this, just remember daddy would still never stop loving you. I just want to tell you KayKay, thank you.
Since I was a kid, from a teenager to an adult, I never wanted any kids. I always felt like if I had a baby my life would be ruined or my life would have to stop. From my freshman year of high-school on up, everyone around me were becoming parents. I’d hear them say stuff like “I’m so dumb for getting this girl pregnant” or “Why did I have this baby, my life’s canceled” of “This dude is such a bum, lord why me ” or “My baby mama a thot, that can't be my baby”. I can't go like that, not by an eater! I always heard all type of stuff like this.That made me all but even more terrified to have a baby.
So it has always been planted in my head “Yeaaaa, I'm not having a kid until I’m married to the right person ” and even then maybe lol!” Now growing up, I did get females pregnant a handful of times, but because of my pride of being tied down and fear of having a kid, I indulged in letting abortions take place.
Yeah I'm not proud of it but I was young, loose, scared and irresponsible. I never thought about the consequences of my actions. Just young and reckless. To be honest baby, yo daddy was the man out here. I was the only one with all the clout from where we were from. A real rockstar baby. So yea, I have always been a cocky boujee type of guy. The real Mr. Untouchable. That's where you get your personality from. It’s in yo blood baby, and don't forget, daddy’s still the man out here. Just more responsible now lol.
I turned 17, had just graduated high-school, and my music was a big break. I was doing shows state to state, labels blowing up my phone. I was turning down deals but I was still running the streets. As much as I wanted to make it out the hood and make sure my family was straight, my mind was still stuck in the trenches.
My heart was split between 2, leaving Howard St to make it happen and standing in front of this store and parking lot hustling where my best friend just lost his life. So yea baby, I was real deep in the streets and honestly after I lost my best friend, I didn't even care about anything else. I was devastated. It was a lot of people that died around me just in that one summer.
I told myself “Fuck that rap shit”. Everyone was on my back about it, but it was way too much going on around me. To think about it, I attended so many funerals back to back that I was scarred with no more tears to shed. God sat me down, He knew where my head space was and it wasn't right. I ended up catching a pistol case. I sat for 18 months, still hot headed during the bid. I spent a year of it in solitary confinement, 24 hour lockdown for bad behavior. I was traumatized from the streets and the things I’ve seen, my mind was everywhere.
Doing that time made me so distant from everyone. My girlfriend who I had been together with since I was 14, was my heart. She was really the only one who could keep me calm. She was who I loved and trusted most, besides my mother who is the closest person to me right or wrong. That's really my first love, so don't be jealous baby. Besides mom, it was my girlfriend.
I couldn't wait to get home to her but when I came home I was heartbroken. Not only did she cheat on me, but my right hand mans pulled it with her too.
But this was the catch, my homie was yo moms boyfriend or ex boyfriend at that. I guess he had some kids on her a year or so before I came home. So everybody was hurt, and we all had hidden agendas. Everybody might try to take my head off for this but I don't care. It ain't about them, it's about us, so boo-hoo whatever. You know me, just being me. I’ma keep it real bae.
During my release from the joint, I had house arrest time to complete with my parole stipulations. Now me and yo momma never really liked each other in the past cause I was always a shit talker. I was really disrespectful and I never cared what came out of my mouth. Truth be told because it was about her peoples fse and when you get older you will know why my lil pumpkin from both sides lmao.
So when we started to talk we was vibing real hard. I’d spend my house arrest movement time with her even on New Years. I remember kicking it with her any and every chance I got, no matter what the predicament was. She spent all her free time with me. Even though I still had a girlfriend, I caught real strong feelings for your mama even though being back and forth between different women wasn’t right, we had a bond that was tight and me being me I was still young and reckless in the streets. I had a never cared mentality anyways. Finishing and being released from house arrest my niece was moving so I needed a new parole site. I couldn't use any family member because they lived in the suburbs and your mom wasn't even about to let them even think about taking me back to jail. She and your grandma hopped on it fast for me. I mean, I was always there anyways. I was already like the man of the house even before then, but even more, I was family. Everybody in that house loved me to death and right now still do.
I was still doing music and other things like party promoting for a lot of different clubs. So on top of being caught up in that lifestyle I had a lot of haters, but my haters play for keeps in the worst way, so I was even deeper in the streets than before. I had more money and way more power, but it came with a lot more trouble.
Again, another summer I’m losing real close friends and companions left and right to violence like it was normal. I tried to stay away from Chicago as much as I could. Your uncle “V” and “Wuk” kept me in Vegas as much as they could to stay focused on my music, but it was so much going on back home. I kept losing my loved ones, I kept going back. It's crazy cause the same love ones I lost told me “No matter what, don't come back. We need you to make it”. Just keep rapping, we’ll take care of this street shit.
But man, IDK baby, my feelings and emotions in the city were too strong. I felt like I ain’t have nothing to live for and nobody couldn’t tell me what to do or how to feel. Just being numb to it all, its like life ain’t make no sense.
I was thinking to myself “Damn, I’m back home, I’m back on the pole!” I remember one day specifically chilling in the trap, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror where in the next room over, dope fiends was shooting Heroin and crackheads was laying on the hallway floor sleep. As the back door kept being knocked on constantly by different drug addicts that needed more drugs and my homies in the living room blasting music, playing 2K I’m just standing there staring like damn this what this shit come to? Damn, what’s life right now? Looking down at all these text messages from different numbers talking about “Don’t leave Vegas” and “Stay focused” and “You my only son, I can’t lose you to the streets and if them Niggas want you back out here they not your real homies”.
That last message sparked a nerve. Me being so hot headed told myself “All my Homies dead anyways, fuck it IDC, I’m Thuggin.
Your grandma gave me a call one morning telling me about how the police had came to her shop looking for me. I asked her for what and did they say they have a warrant for my arrest. She said no, they didn't give up no information. She hated how they always treated me. Since I was a kid they always messed with me. Always bothering me and harassing me even when they had no reason to, put cases on me beat me up Etc.
I can remember hearing her voice saying; “Son you still in Chicago, leave now please just go I don't trust them people, the police so wicked dem always a trouble you just going back out of town hurry!”
I'm like okay Mommy I got you I love you, I'm going to get ready and get ghost.
As I hung up the phone, I'm just sitting here thinking like man WTF is this shit coming to. this shit getting crazy but I got to get this money and get the rest of this stuff off and they ain't say I had a warrant so let me check in with my PO before I skate.
Two weeks later, I see my parole officer. He ended up locking me up the whole time I had a warrant out for a manufacturer delivery, I ended up spending Christmas in jail. I was locked up only about a week and I came home on house arrest with the surprise your mama said she was pregnant.
I'm like “oh shit”, I was thrown off at first but honestly KK, I was too caught up in the streets to think about bringing a baby into a world like this.
Sitting on house arrest stressed out with everything going on in my life I turned to alcohol and drugs (Lean and Weed) to cope with all the PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Back against the wall I felt I was hopeless.
I told myself a baby? I can't take care of no baby. I'm not fit to even take care of myself. I lose at everything I go up against! Better yet saying I feel like I lost myself. I lost at life. I don't even know who I am no more. I could care less about living, I just want to go.
Surely enough I did go baby. Yeah go all right! I went to jail. I ended up getting sentenced to 18 months in a joint.
During my time away from me and your mama wasn't seeing eye to eye like that. I left the world a mess, with a lot of crazy drama but I was long gone out of the way. So I laid back and stayed quiet through it all.
I remember being so anxious to meet you, I was so nervous but I was excited. Just to think like damn I'm a Daddy now. To be honest it was shocking to everybody like wow KC a daddy now!
Finishing my time and coming home to you, the first day out is the best day of my life. I was at my sister Sophia's house, and she was teaching me how to properly hold you without hurting you.
Just staring at you amazed of the angel I created, I kissed your cheek. You shuffle your head, open your eyes as you were still asleep and gave me a long smile, and it was from that very moment right there my motivational energy went to the roof. Every move I made and every step I took was for you.
It's crazy cuz just a year ago, I just about gave up on life itself. I ain't have no love. No love for anyone or anything, not even love for myself. I feel as though God gave me another chance in my life to live and it's to live through you.
The world loves the daddy daughter relationship we share. I wouldn't want life to be any other way. Doing right by you opened up so many doors in my life and each day I'm thankful for every blessing I receive. I just want to say thank you so much Kaylani.
I love you more than life itself, you change me. YOU SAVED ME
Kenneth Campbell
I Am From
Hesitated once, thought about it twice
Best start is from the bottom
Keep calm its not your fault
Magical tongues speak existence
Hundred nights high of jet lag
It was overtime me and casper
Take one stone kill two birds
Phone on DND, life on VPN
Take everything away who’s still there
Disappointed I blamed the mirror
Stress nothing I can’t control
Life lessons full of growing pains
Endure the pain, grow from it
Our thoughts become our words,
Our words become our actions,
Our actions become our destiny
Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb
