Love Loyalty Loss
Struggles of A Broken Home
Nicholas “Boone” Harris
The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.
Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.
While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.
This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
Love, Loyalty, Loss:
Struggles of a Broken Home
Nicholas “Boone” Harris
June28,1995,I wasborntothe most amazingmother one could ever askfor.My motherNichelleShaw gavebirthto six children.My’esha,Michael,Maurice,Malcolm, Maka’lah,and meNicholas.SadlyMyesha andMaurice'stwinMalcolm passed away atbirth.
Growingupmymotherdidthebestshecouldtobeasing lemomtoherremainingfourchildren.
To this day I still vaguely remember trips to Disney Quest, the zoo and even getting food and going up to Lake Michigan for family time.
MytwomostmemorabletripsweretoDisneyQuestwhenthebluegeniefromAladdin outofnowhereandveryloudlypoppeduponallofthewallsoftheelevator.
Ican'tlie thatshithadmescaredasl.
Theother time my mother, siblingsandIgotMcDonald'sandwentto the lakefront, while walkingas Iopenedthecheeseburger from my HappyMealaseagullswoopeddownand stole itfrom me.
To this day I still don't know when but my beautiful mom wound up getting addicted to drugs making those family trips less and less. Eventually my loving grandmother Elizabeth Shaw had to take us in to keep us from being separated by the system (DCFS).
My grandmother took care of my mother's four children as well as my Aunt Nanny who is the same age as my oldest brother Michael. We struggled a lot for a while. I even remember times of living from homeless shelter to homeless shelter.
One day though I forgot her name, but a woman from my grandmother's Church announced to the congregation that she was moving to the Bahamas and wanted to leave her home to our family.
For my grandmother's actions taking on my mother's responsibilities to me I was born to the best grandma one could ask for just like my mother. She taught me a lot of values I live by today. Community. Education. Humility. Culture. Integrity. Loyalty. Courage. Love. Trust. Care. Peace. Pride and Stability. I call this the Evolution and Revolution.
As a child though through all the struggles, my mother would still pop in and out on occasions and make time to take my siblings and our places. Like the one time she came with “Teddy” a friend of hers and took us to the auto show.
The older I got I started to resent my mother for choosing when she wanted to be a mom to me, not understanding what kind of battle she was fighting, facing drug addiction.
I remember my granny always telling me, Sunny our mother loves you dearly. She just has to get her faith right with God every time I asked why my mom wasn't home with us.
I would pray for my mother whom I really just loved and missed when she wasn't around.
Attheageof12myprayerswereanswered,whenmymotherwonherbattle withaddiction, showingherloveandloyaltytoherchildrenaswellasherselfin myeyes.
From that day forth in my heart she has been the strongest most amazing woman ever.
My mom overcame the battle with addiction, however her hardest battles were yet to come, dealing with children who found it hard to express their hidden pains to her.
My older brother Maurice is in and out of jail. My sister Maka’lah always wanted to fight her and me rebelling against everything she said which since the age 15, has led to constant incarcerations. Like my sophomore year when I broke into my high school, Hyde Park Academy or when I was 19 and caught my dope case. not to mention the little petty cases in between.
Mymother asked me once whyisit sohardfor youto accept guidancefrom someone whohasliterallyexperienced everything?I respondedthat maybeI’m just a statisticto myupbringing. never gettingover past pains,I was on one.
Around age 15 or 16, my granny also started falling ill from Alzheimer's and Dementia. It hurt my heart to see her sick but that didn't stop me from doing wrong.
Havingjustturned21,IwoundupgoingtojailAugust16, 2016inKentucky . Whileservinga5yearbid,myg randmotherpassedawayonDecember13, 2018;breakingMyHeart.
I used to tell myself, at least I have my mother to grieve with and help me heal. Through it all, her battles and mine, she has been my rock.
Serving out my time December 15, 2021justto be arrestedagain August19, 2022, Inever really thoughtofthepain Iwas causing her.
I'm now 28 years of age, incarcerated facing a murder in the first degree charge. devastatingly, while fighting for my life, my mother lost hers January 5th 2024. Luckily, I found Allah since being incarcerated or I’d be lost right now.
Never letyour past define you. You use it as motivation to be better. t hroug h a ll my s truggles andp itfalls Ipersevered, now I finally believe I 'm more t han just another s tatistic.
Rest In Peace
Elizabeth Shaw
02-16-1949 to 12-13-2018
10-14-1968 to 01-05-2024
Nichelle Shaw
I Am From
I am from humble beginnings
A loving home
From the block with bad intentions from 62nd and Stony Island
Nicholas “Boone” Harris
I am from granny and Mama's guidance
From church on Sundays
And you better get your ass out my house And go to school
From long nights and early mornings
I am from the streets don't love nobody
And watch who you call your friends
From childhood homies turn to grown up enemies
I'm from the east side of Chicago
Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb
