Construction of the Elevated Mind by ConTextos Chicago

Construction of the Elevated Mind

"Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter." - African Proverb

In collaboration with:

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people experiencing, navigating, surviving complex traumas in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,

LION SPEAKS

expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising, and publishing memoirs, participants strengthen self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive self-projection to author new life narratives. Construction of the Elevated Mind grows out of the micro-community built by the participants of CRED’s North Lawndale program. The men present in this compilation undertook this journey of self-reflection and subsequent creation through ConTextos’ Authors Circle. All stories matter. And every human being has stories to tell. The pages of this compilation are full of some of them. The writing in this compilation reveals the complex truths of powerful and beautiful Black men from Chicago’s South and West Side. There are existing narratives about who these men are and about the places they call home. The pages that follow complicate those narratives as only those who reside here can. Read on and listen. The times, the writing, the men, require that of you.

DIMITRI HEPBURN The men whose words are published on these pages inspire

INTRODUCTION

hope for the future of our communities. These Authors, with whom we gathered in Authors Circle, embody so many of the qualities that some prevailing narratives would have you believe are in short supply. They are caring fathers, thoughtful creators, hard-working providers, and insightful writers. They are students of the world and stewards of the next generation. They are an example to those who look up to them for inspiration and to those of us who have been privileged to share space with them in Authors Circle. Our time together became a space in which we were able to share our experiences, trials, hopes, and aspirations with one another. The writing compiled here contains reflections on both the experiences of these Authors and the conversations that propelled us along on a reflective journey. Jonathan, dr. moore, and I are honored to have been a part of this Authors Circle journey as facilitators and welcome readers to join us in uplifting the work of these admirable men. Dimitri Hepburn ConTextos Authors Circle Facilitator

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CONSTRUCTION OF THE ELEVATED MIND

Introduction

Christopher Allen

Flock

Jeffery Hazle

Joseph "Jo Jo"

Ju Ju

dr. moore

Christopher allen

"AFTER I PRAY, I SAY AMEN."

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN

6 WORD MEMOIR

"OPEN YOUR EYES, YOU’LL BE SURPRISED."

Flock

"TO BE AWARE IS TO BE ALIVE."

FLOCK

6 WORD MEMOIR

"I’M RIGHTEOUS, BUT NOT ALL SAINT."

FLOCK I am from Penny candy and twenty-five cent juices. From 59th also known as “The 9”

I AM FROM POEM

And from a Taylor whose name was Robert Homes. I am from the big green house in the middle of the block, With weekend old school music parties, Black family love, An adventurous group of kids with a hell of an imagination. I am from a woman named Daisy, but no flowers around, Dead grass, broken glass, and rocks all around. I’m from all family coming to one house (under one roof), Everybody looks out for the next (being on one accord). From Jerlene and Ronald Sr. I’m from being militant and loving, kindhearted at the same time. From “Don’t be a follower, you’re born a leader.” and “You’re a king.” I’m from Christianity, God is the way, the truth, the light. I’m from Southern Hospitality and the vibes of the old Chicago love, Sunday dinners on a Tuesday, hot water cornbread. Ancestry who picked cotton, but also bought the same house they worked in from their boss.

GROWING UP A BLACK MAN

FLOCK Growing up as a young Black man is tough. The adversities you have to face is very overwhelming. 1. Having to deal with ignorance from not just the opposite of you, but also people who are the same caliber as you 2. Having to face reality/realities while moving through society trying to make a better living for yourself. It’s hard because before speaking, you’re already betrayed (portrayed) as this and as that or you should be this or that, but how about just taking the time to actually observe the whole picture, instead of just judging the gold from around the painting.

NEIGHBORHOOD CHANGE

FLOCK Growing up as a child in my neighborhood was fun, kind of bad, but wasn’t harmful to its people. You had 40-50 kids playing, running around, girls flirting with boys, boys trying to date and kiss every girl. Maybe a fight or two for petty ish or someone messing with someone's supposed to be girlfriend or boyfriend, but it used to be all love. You could walk the neighborhood from sun up to sun down with no worries. Now all you see is death, destruction, pain, hurt, violence on another scale. Boards on windows, abandoned buildings, blue and red flashing lights. Women, once a great personality, gorgeous face, beautiful spirit, now walk up and down the street leasing their soul for a moment of high to take away the pain that’s endured on the walk we call a journey of life. Tumbleweeds of garbage flying through the streets. Emptiness of spirit and joy, but pride standing on corners. Greed, envy, and jealousy sitting on the porch or laying against a steel Heaven’s gate that someday might turn to face them. Showing a reflection of wasted time that could’ve turned sadness into happiness.

HEADED ON A JOUNEY

FLOCK

Headed on a journey, a young man filled with knowledge, joy, ambition, and determination to win went out to achieve what he thought was going to be one of his greatest achievements turned to the total opposite. What never occurred to him was all the silent negative plays hiding in the shadows waiting to knock him right off the path. What should’ve been one of his most happiest moments ended up one of the worst tests in life. He was going to actually win, but also gain more knowledge than he needed.

STARTING OVER

FLOCK

Starting over is first hard and complicated, but it’s all worth it. I’ve learned that letting things that’s a habit go is hard, but worth it. I’ve learned it’s ok. Starting over can be a beautiful thing if you put the right energy/positive aura into it. Like a seed freshly planted into a pot of natural soil dirt full of minerals and vitamins that one’s body, mind, and soul needs. Starting over to fill this new seed with the proper love, care, and nurturing that one needs to grow properly even though you’ve gone through a growing process before, but this time’s different. This time you’re going to grow bigger than the word “growth.”

Jeffrey hazel "THE RIDE BACK FROM DEATH STILL UNTRAVELED."

JEFFERY HAZLE

6 WORD MEMOIR

"I FLIPPED THE SWITCH TO ELEVATE."

JEFFERY HAZLE I am from towel coat From buck fifty, and white ones.

I AM FROM POEM

I am from the townhouse and square house, Too busy, too packed, where I kept lightning bugs as my pets. I am from thorny roses that grew from concrete, Beautiful, yet dangerous when mishandled. I’m from fish fry and “this gon put some hair on your lil chest.” From Jeffery and Jerena. I’m from the fallout over small things and only show love at funerals. From “You don’t believe fat meat greasy.” and “Sit your mannish ass down.” I’m from the Creator of all Creation, Allah is my protector. I’m from Chicago. Strawberry cheesecake and caramel cake. From the grandmother who beat Covid. The taller baby brother that models and acts. My Auntie Brenda’s house. It’s important to never lose our family tree history.

NEIGHBORHOOD CHANGE

JEFFERY HAZLE Coming back to my neighborhood was a dream come true, After being incarcerated for so long, Getting home was all I wanted to do. My first drive around through the blocks, I remembered what used to fill the numerous now vacant lots. I began to wonder what caused the destruction of these used to be well known spots. I mean crime is one thing as far as murders, But entire houses and apartment buildings completely gone? Then with that I began to realize how empty the streets were. Everybody used to walk freely through the neighborhood to the candy store, candy house, square house, and to the icey cup man, But now none of that exists… What happened to my neighborhood? What happened to my home? Why doesn’t my dream still feel like a dream come true? Being back home reminds me of the sadness that makes the Blues the Blues…

JEFFERY HAZLE Sometimes I feel like I give too much to those

I GIVE TOO MUCH

who are undeserving. Yet I give not for myself personally, but for the Blessings from the Creator of Eternity. Allah gives me Peace, Love, Happiness, and Prosperity. I’m in so much need of your forgiveness because my mind gets dark sometimes. I was born an Aries, so therefore let that sink in mentally, while I search for clarity. Clearly, I’m troubled, yet humbled. I choose to remain wise thru these troubled times because I give forgiveness time after time for things simply unforgivable, to people undeserving. I am not God, yet in His image we were told we are made. So again, I forgive because I have been forgiven time and time again - when at times I, too, have been truly undeserving. . . .

JEFFERY HAZLE Black bodies, black bodies.

BLACK BODIES

From black bodies swinging to black bodies drowning From black bodies tortured to black bodies bullet riddled, Where is the love for our black bodies? Where is the respect for our black bodies? Why do black bodies destroy black bodies? We know why white bodies hate our black bodies Yet in secret they really love our black bodies, They really need our black bodies. They really fear the capabilities of our black bodies, So if you really pay attention, I mean really pay attention, They forced us to tap into those capabilities, Pressure in extreme amounts creates diamonds. Black bodies are beautiful and timeless like diamonds… That’s why our black bodies continue to persevere through the numerous tests of time.

JEFFERY HAZLE

LAUGH AT MY PAIN

Sometimes I try to be like Kevin Hart by laughing at my pain, But when my smile fades The pain still remains… Which means I’m still wearing it upon my face. I can hardly ever speak fluently with longevity, Accurately and purposefully, Because mistakes were made in my younger days, To have my voice stripped away… See My pain goes deep. It gets so heavy at times til it's overwhelming, So I utilize my secret outlet. I write loud, but remain quiet face to face. A lot of people never understood me. A select few knew my battle with insecurities. The root cause locks down my mental, Enraged my emotional, Altered my physical… Then my hands became vice grips upon the vices

JEFFERY HAZLE

LAUGH AT MY PAIN

That destroys men and women everyday With every exhale of the weed smoke, Temporarily, A little bit of my reality went with it. With every sip of the alcoholic spirit, Temporarily, I became numb and a little bit more confident… But as time passed, My tolerance increased. My pain rand deeper, Because when it all fades, my pain still remains… I tried to stay on the road to success, but I had to embrace the “Street Life” In order to survive my struggles… One foot in, One foot out, Is a double-edged sword, Which I used to sever all the ties to the lives That I truly wanted and needed to be a part of. My current reality…

JEFFERY HAZLE

LAUGH AT MY PAIN

Living in prison while dreaming of one day living a life of fulfillment. Every day during this journey has been about survival With survival came growth. With growth came the ability for me to understand the knowledge given to me, Which helped me to grow wiser, And with my acquired wisdom, I can now “speak” the truth… Especially “My truth” My voice I have taken back Through my new outlet. My words ring loud by the page. I am still quiet when face to face, But I speak when necessary, Because my time I can no longer afford to waste. And that’s why at times I try to be like Kevin Hart by laughing at my pain, But when my smile fades,

LAUGH AT MY PAIN

JEFFERY HAZLE The pain still remains… For the moment, I am done bleeding upon this page, Trying to perfect a visual portrait of “self” For later reflection… In this state of peace and humbleness, I can be more like Kevin Hart, By laughing at my pain, And when my smile fades, I will try to no longer wear it upon my face, But nor will I ever forget the pain… Because it made me who I am today.

Joseph "jo jo"

"FROM ONE ON ONES AND TRENCHES."

JOSEPH "JO JO"

6 WORD MEMOIR

"YOU GOT TO WATCH YOUR SURROUNDINGS."

I AM FROM POEM

JOSEPH "JO JO"

I am from Chicago. From one on ones and trenches. I am from the West Loop. Fun, respectful, not in danger. I am from Pork Pines, Sharp, pain, harmful. I’m from going out and in the house. From Ant Ant Anthony and Big Ant Uncle Anthony. RIP. I’m from life and death. From “Be Respectful” and “Treat everybody with kindness.” I’m from Not Grace and to the Bible. I’m from Double H, Funny O’s, Mac and Cheese

NEIGHBORHOOD CHANGE

JOSEPH "JO JO"

In my community a lot of building stores and restaurants are added making it look nice, and a lot of people are attracted to the buildings and stores. It looks nice in my community. A lot has changed since I was a kid and now that I am an adult, you got to watch your surroundings and a lot of people you can’t trust including family and friends.

JOSEPH "JO JO"

Running around Running playing

RUNNING

Running with family and friends Running with the gang Running with guns Running to start to change Running with CRED Running in school Running doing exams Running to finish Running with my diploma Running with going to college Running with my Master’s degree Running with being successful

PENN FOSTER

JOSEPH "JO JO"

I finally got in Penn Foster. I’m about to get my high school diploma. I can graduate early if I turn in my exams on time. Doing this will allow me to do something I love to do and be able to succeed and be the best that I can be.

Ju JU

"I AM A PROVIDER AND A PROTECTOR."

JU JU

6 WORD MEMOIR

"LOVE MY BROTHERS LIKE NO OTHER."

GROWING UP A BLACK MAN

JU JU Growing up as a young Black man, I have to be really careful and mindful about what I put out into the Universe. I have to understand that being a Black man, especially a big Black man, that people will form an opinion of me without ever getting to know me. I have grown to understand that I am someone who has witnessed a lot. I’ve seen people die and a lot of my close friends are dead or in jail. I’ve been close to death numerous times, and I have been to jail/prison for 8 ½ years straight. I’ve also been shot. I could have been killed, yet I’m still here and am being the best father to my children that I can be. I am working to be better in my life and working to fight the system. I do not want to continue to be a product of my environment.

JU JU I am from the corner sack. From 67th and 68th Place

I AM FROM POEM

I am from the house on the corner and the middle of the block. crowded, full, where my cousins made a living for themselves out of. I am from the place with no grass, Too dirty, too messy, and too muddy. I’m from my great grandma’s cooking and yelling all our names for curfew. From Tanya and Toosie. I’m from the driven and dedicated. From the bad ass, the voice and leader of the flock. I’m from behind the Methodist Church, where we played basketball. I’m from the projects and the ghetto, My momma’s tacos, famous spaghetti, Giordano’s Pizza. From the car rides rapping Tupac, and singing back to back. The hurt of never seeing my parents together, Brother becoming the man of the house at an early age, Hanging pictures makes me remember How me, my mother, and brothers have always had each other’s back. Melly Way

JU JU

I HAVE LEARNED

I have learned that I can be taken away from my family and friends at any given time. I can literally wake up and not know that I will be gone by the end of the day. I’ve learned that sometimes it is ok to walk lightly. There isn’t anything wrong with “tucking my tail.” Some days I wish that I didn’t lose some of the closest people to me. I wish “Bird” didn’t walk to the store and came to school with me. I wish that “DJ” wasn’t standing in the middle of the block that day. I wish that Melly would’ve linked up with me that night and didn’t go to that party. These are just wishes that are gone with the wind. Losing my guys that’s almost like brothers almost killed me and left me with a broken heart, long lost memories, and a bunch of tattoos. This stuff tears me up on the regular and I’m glad that I have my momma, my brothers, brothers from another, my kids, and my girl to help me on the day to day basis.

JU JU

I feel like we are doomed from the moment we become a fetus in our mothers’ womb. It’s up to us to change

WE ARE

that cycle with all the trials and tribulations we experience throughout our lives growing up as a young black male. We are always given the bad end of the stick, but that shouldn’t make us give up. We have to take what we have and make the best out of it. I am what I am, and we are what we are. Point blank, period. We are not what they have us labeled as, We are the most powerful. We are the struggle. We are the strength! We are very intelligent and, might I add, we are great black fathers and great black men.

THE NIGHT MY SON WAS BORN

JU JU The night that my son was born, I was trying to sleep, and she was walking in circles around my bed. Every time I opened my eyes, that is all I seen. Then out of nowhere she woke me out of my sleep to say she needs to go to the hospital. So we packed up and got in the car. She couldn’t even sit still. I got there as fast as I could. It took me like twenty minutes to get to the hospital (Rush). Calumet City, to Rush hospital, so you know that I was driving very fast. We were passing 95th at 5:22 AM and arrived at the hospital around 5:40 AM. I dropped her at the front door and they put her in the wheelchair. I was trying to make her come with me to find a place park. After I found a parking spot I ran up there as quick as possible. I almost missed the birth. He was born before 6 AM. But I got there in time and seen the whole thing, and helped them pull my son out. This was the best day of both our lives. Me, because that was my first time, and her, because that was the first time that one of her child’s fathers were present at birth. Best feeling ever!

dr. moore

"PERCEIVED AS OTHER THAN WHO I AM."

dr. moore

6 WORD MEMOIR

"STAY CALM, BREATHE DEEPLY AND RECOGNIZE."

dr. moore Possum Lee must not have been tired that day when some woman looked at him and saw not the man of

REFLECTIONS

flesh and blood but rather saw need. As a Black woman, who like Ju Ju is big, as a Black woman who is unlike what others, including other Black women expect, a woman not gifted with curves in all the right places, a woman more comfortable with short hair and casual clothes, I am consistently judged and found lacking. I am most often mis-gendered, perceived as other than who I am, as less than the me who scribbles these words. And, Fuck, sometimes I am just exhausted. So, when the third person in a day calls me Sir or Mister or says, “Hey, aren’t you in the wrong bathroom? I’m gonna scream for help!” Or when some random guy on the street yells out “Dyke. I got something for ya.” I am confronted with a choice–stay calm, breathe deeply and recognize that whatever problem exists isn’t mine, or I can blow up and tell whomever to take me as I am or fuck all the way off. Best feeling ever!

To learn more about our work, read memoirs, and other compilations written by our Authors visit: www.contextos.org Find us on social media: @contextoschi

Front cover image by Naimah Thomas

All photographs by Dimitri Hepburn 2022

Book design by Naimah Thomas