Breaking Out The Trap by Shaun Jenkins

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The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expanding the voices and sharing personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the healing process of drafting, revising, and publishing memoirs, participants develop selfreflection, critical thinking, camaraderie, and positive self-projection to author new life narratives. With support from Chicago CRED, ConTextos works with New Mount Pilgrim MB Church’s MAAFA Redemption Project. MAAFA’s mission is to significantly improve the quality of life for young men of color and their families on West Garfield Park providing dormitory-style residential support, workforce training, personal/spiritual-development, and a host of wrap-around social services. The embedded ConTextos Authors Circle provides a synergistic space of reflection, connection and healing growth as authors continue to forge new life chapters. The powerful memoirs from the 2021-2022 MAAFA Author Circle complicate myopic, monolithic narratives and include an array of Sankofa Stories, transformative experiences and vibrant insights of young men on the West Side of Chicago.




I am from the West side known as the Best side. From Ramen Noodles and Jimmy Dean. I am from the 7 Bedroom green house, Deep as hell, sleeping at Granny’s house. Cuz nem stretched out, all on Granny’s couch. Got chased to the big apple tree Straight from a dog out the doghouse. All together, a unit as one. Now we all separated and spaced out, Ain’t no more family fun. I’m from family reunions and heart attacks. Out on them blocks late at night, flipping and serving packs. I can remember way back, now let’s take it back.


I’m from Sharon and Jelly, From the funny and the lovely. Keep money in my pocket and have faith Cause I know God watching above me. From the fellowship, all day church. Keep stepping with God, Cause that’s who we see once we touch the dirt, And deal with no more pain or suffering, No more everlasting hurt. I’m from Cook County, Chicago Chicken, Greens and Mac. From the Grandma that beat all 9 kids from front to the back. From Funny Uncle Jelly, This just a small snippet of my story.


A memoir is a personal narrative that shares reflections, insights and transformative experiences of an author’s life journey.


I want to give a shout out to my brother. His name is Andre, his birthday is November 24th. He always stands on business when it comes to family. He always talking shit no matter what. He likes stunting, clothes, and talking shit. He told me one day, ”That’s some broke shit.” Had me crying laughing. I ain’t gone lie, I don’t play about him. He knows all he gotta do is call, and I’m running. Everybody calls him Squeak, but sometimes I call him Dre. I looked up to him, wish our mothers was her but I know she looking down proud of us.


I remember when I first lost my brother Ace. We was up early on the block hustling, it was like six o’clock. He was working, and it was on me next. The block rolling, we got at least thirty people out there. He served half, and then next it was my turn. He on security, making sure I’m cool. I finish, we go count how much we need to turn in, and cuff the other money. We go get some more licks, he let me go first. I do my thang, now it’s on him. He go crazy again. We then fell back, and sent my homie to get a trey five from the weed man. So, we go walk up the block to turn the rest of the money in, and all we heard was gunshots. I see him take off; I take off. I come back, and he laid on the ground. I started crying, running home and didn’t know what to do.


Why Me? Damn, back down this road again. She just told me, “Don’t be drinking and driving.” Laying down in these bogus ass mattress. Court tomorrow, gotta go through this again. “Your Judge, this is Shawn Jenkins, we would like a low bond 15,000 D Bond next court day.” Damn, let me gone head, get in mode. Bullpen after bullpen, haven’t seen outside in 3 days, haven’t seen my people. This finna be a long journey. Mad at myself cause all I hear in my head is my grandma voice. “Can I get a Size 7. And medium in top and bottom.” Man, I hate this shit.

Why me? I was just doing good. Working hard, staying low, making myself proud. Only got my lawyer money, bond so high can’t eat right. Wondering how my grandma doing, know she disappointed in me. “Ring, Ring, this is an inmate from Cook County, would you like to accept the charges? Press one.” “Okay, Grandma this me.” “I know, told you stop driving while drunk. The Lawyer will be at court, and I put some money on books, bye.” I can hear the disappointment in her voice. I drop couple tears. Finna call my big brother. He yelled the same Grams was yelling. I’m fall back, lay on these bogus mattresses, got court in the morning.


Wrong Place, Wrong Time Something that really changed me was that house arrest. I couldn’t move like I wanted to. Then I couldn’t pay my bills. My Little chick broke bad on me, then on top of that I had some bullshit happen in the hood. I was overeating, just sleeping and waking up. One day I broke down crying to my grandma. Also I’m the type not to ask for handouts; I get off my ass and go get it. Court wasn’t going well. I didn’t even have a lawyer this time, and that was blowing me. The Lawyer wanted ten thousand, my brother said,”He helped me, but that wasn’t enough.” Then I was mad at myself cause this time I really didn’t have a gun. At the wrong place, at the wrong time, and I was still on probation. Only thing my people and a couple of my homies came with money so I could get on house arrest.


Standing on Business Damn my grandma done dropped the ball on me gang. But she maturing me and turning me into the man I’m supposed to be. Couple weeks ago, she told me that she selling the house. When she told me, I was upset cause I gotta step up even harder, and I gotta focus more than ever. So, I haven’t been popping out like I used to. I even been staying in the crib, but the last couple weeks I been looking at apartments. Me and my brother gone move in together. I be worried about it, but I got this. I’ve been saving a little dust though. I’ve really been proud of myself, but whole time this is what growing up is about. It’s about taking chances, growing, and going up the ladder. She just called me the other day, yelling, asking is I’m standing on business. Sometimes I get sidetracked, so she reminds me that the time is ticking. It’s gone feel good when we move in and take our stuff in at our new apartment.


Damn, who would think I would be getting on the right track. I was always the one that they thought couldn’t get it together. Sitting here in church, trying to get on track and getting closer to God. MAAFA Redemption Project. Really got me thinking it’s more to life then gangbanging, hustling, just dumb shit. I’ve been doing adult things, and my grandma ain’t worried. I still got a couple flaws, but I’m working on myself. I’m just trying to make myself proud, and trying to help another brother out. Like damn, I done came a long way, but I got this. Watch me work, feel good doing something different.


Another One of Mine Sunday afternoon chilling, sitting low with the love of my life, my grandma. Doing whatever she wants me to do. Really not paying no attention to the phone. Just blessed to be with the most important person in my life. I was just out all night, didn’t go in cause I was out with gang. Sunday is family day, and I don’t break my promise when it comes to my grandma. Phone going crazy. Phone call after phone call. Blocking the bad energy cause my main man was just in a bad car accident. Grandma is my peace, so I don’t need any bad news, and I don’t wanna keep repeating myself, but something in my gut tells me just call back one of my recent callers. Ring, Ring! “Yo, what’s the deal?” “Freak been shot! He got shot by the store.” All bad thoughts go through my head. I just asked God to save my homie. Now I’m praying my dawg make it. Dropped couple tears but that’s not what I want to do. I gotta calm down, think, get to my boy Vell, he needs me. Two brothers hurt on Sunday and how do I be at peace with my Grandma? I gotta get to the hood. I’m just pray he makes it. I get that call that nobody wants to get ever. “He gone gang.” Another one of mine dead from gun violence. Another Father gone; he will never see his Daughter. What do you tell his mother? Damn gang, Love.. See you in Vegas! Rest up Freak.


Blows, Rocks, Weed, Park !... To “Man, I gotta be a work at nine gang, I gotta take it in.” From pumping somebody’s block to punching a clock. From Hanging with gang to doing my own thang. My grandma staying up waiting on me to come in to “baby I’m proud of you.” I Never knew my shit stank to waking up and smelling the coffee.



Sankofa is a word from the Ghanian Twi language meaning “Go back and get it.” “Sankofa teaches us that we must go back to our roots in order to move forward. That is, we should reach back and gather the best of what our past has to teach us, so that we can achieve our full potential as we move forward. Whatever we have lost, forgotten, forgone or been stripped of can be reclaimed, revived, preserved and perpetuated.”* *UIC African American Studies Department


The most important person in my life is my Grandma. Her name is Shirley Jenkins, born October 5th. My Grandma is a smart, intelligent, funny, outgoing and a strong independent woman. It’s never a dull moment.


She has a good heart, she is a Christian woman. When my mother passed away, she took me, and my brothers and sisters in. She also took my cousins in too. My Grandma has seven kids of her own.

She went to school at Malcolm X College, and works at the post office--while juggling all that and taking care of her family. She likes talking and can over-dress too.

She is always busy, but forreal she never gave up on me.


We done been through alot. I done been kicked out of schools, locked up, running the streets and she never gave up. She always shows love, and compassionate but also you don’t want to get on her other side.

It can get ugly sometimes. She always involved with everything we did. Never missed nothing we had going on.


I just want to make her proud, and be the man I need to be. I know it’s nothing I can do to repay her for everything she done for us.



Something I always wanted was my own business, To make Grandma proud. And go to Africa, I always wanted to see Africa. See my babies be all he/she can be, Having Grandma proud of me. My whole family together in one room If I could go anywhere it’d be Africa. Heard it’s beautiful, and that’s where I’m from. Overseas, travel everywhere I haven’t been. I’m looking forward to moving into our new spot.


Becoming a better person, moving different. Me and my brother being straight, Being at peace and no worries. A goal I set is to be stable and not worrying. Saving my money better, And being a better man. I want change for us as Black people To come together and be as one. Stop the violence, People caring for each other. My legacy is my family, trust funds, buildings and business.





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