Unburdening Summertime to Promote Flourishing
Four Practices to Consider this Summer
We all want to fill our summer with good things. It’s easy to imagine, as one activity is added after another, that each of these good opportunities piles more good into our summer. Yet, the reality is that so often as we do this, our lives become unintentionally overscheduled, leaving our days crammed and our spirits exhausted. Sometimes, in our efforts to provide ample opportunities for healing or growth for our children, we may inadvertently displace or weaken some of the most central sources of good in their lives.
We want to invite you to consider a different way for your family and those you love this summer to experience flourishing in your home.
Plan space for rest.
Block off time for rest in your schedule as a commitment.
Block off time for ample sleep. So often, we make our lives much more difficult just by not giving sleep sufficient place in our lives. Yet, our attitudes, relationships and behavior are heavily influenced by this basic habit of health. The CDC recommends that infants get 1216 hours, toddlers 11-14, preschoolers 10-13, school-age children 9-12, teens 8-10, and adults 7-9.
Practice taking a Sabbath day of rest for the whole family each week. Instead of letting errands, chores, and work creep into each day, cluster these things so that one whole day is devoted to pure relaxation, doing nothing that is focused on productivity or accomplishment.
Block space for time together.
To prioritize what’s most important to you, block time off to be together as a family.
Schedule time to gather together daily, especially around meals. Putting screens away and cultivating joy at mealtime is also strongly associated with eating more produce and having better eating habits. Great habits for everyone!
Envision times to pray together, whether one-on-one with a child or all together.
Create space for time alone.
Every human benefits from learning to receive the gifts of time alone.
Write into the calendar times for members of the family to be alone. As foster and adoptive parents, we often focus on being with our children. We want to connect with them and help them form a healthy attachment. We have learned about co-regulation and are even discouraged from using “time outs,” which involve being alone as a consequence of poor behavior. But every human benefits from learning to receive the gifts of time alone. Depending on each child’s developmental readiness, it may be twenty minutes, two hours or more. Just like being with others, learning to enjoy being alone in meaningful ways is part of healthy growth.
Seriously consider making time alone “device-free.” Guard time each day for your child to have time alone that allows them to not be on a screen. Let this time be for focusing on activities like reading, music, art, time outdoors or spending time with God.
Make space for being useful.
Summer is a wonderful time for children to practice bringing good to others in tangible ways through chores and acts of service.
Prioritize allocating time for each child to contribute meaningfully to work around the house. The summer presents an opportunity for each child to develop a new skill in caring for a home. As they grow in that skill, they may be able to be in charge of that area of home management, whether it be emptying the silverware from the dishwasher, keeping the bathrooms clean, or overseeing the laundry. Learning to do a chore well is a highvalue activity, with benefits ranging from practicing hard work to becoming competent in producing high-quality work to experiencing the satisfaction of working with your hands. It provides training for all of life, including academics and future employment.
Brainstorm with your child ways that they can serve others. Whether a grandparent, a younger sibling or a neighbor, block off time on the calendar to make this a regular part of life. Simple things like writing a note, bringing in a neighbor’s trash bin, or helping a sibling with a difficult project, can help bring distinctive joy of being a genuine help to others. This can set a pattern for a life of bringing good to others.
This is taken from the recent blog, Living within limits: Unburdening summertime to promote flourishing. Learn more about the research behind this resource in the blog. Find more content to promote flourishing in the home at cafo.org/family-institute.