Issue 5 Feb 2010

The Catalunya Chronicle An English Paper for Tarragona and beyond....

FREE every month ~ suitable for all the family.

DO YOU HAVE

Thank you to all our supporters this month - not easy getting things done in the weather we have so recently enjoyed.

A couple of new contributors for this issue, welcome aboard the ship.

There is a very good article on how we can ALL help ensure that the problem of stray dogs is lessened; if we all do a little bit then maybe we can make a difference.

ONCE UPON A TIME : EL PERELLÒ JENNIFER FIGUEROLA El Perellò is a village in the Baix Ebre region, reached by the N340 and now the AP-7. It actually began existence as an old hospital in the 14th century, although there is also evidence of prehistoric life in the area. There are stone remains which have been found to date back 15,000 years.

A Roman settlement was discovered with the now famous rock paintings of 'Cabra Feixat', which has received the World Heritage designation. Then, in 1953, the 'Cova de la Mallada' was discovered, with many artefacts, including arrowheads with tops of silex. There are other remains, such as part of the Via Augusta Roman road and bridges.

Other impressive monuments include the Tower 'Torro del Moros', (Monkey Tower), the Shrine of Sant Cristofel and El Coll de les Forques, (The Forked Pass). The old hospital suffered many attacks and battles, yet managed to recover every time.

El Perellò is in fact very privileged as it has the advantage of the combination of sea and mountains. Views out to sea are stunning and it is in the perfect location to view the Delta.

Unofficial Flag of El Perello

TRACTORS

CARS

MACHINERY

GENERATORS

WORKING OR NON WORKING CASH AVAILABLE FOR ALL OF THE ABOVE FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT

689 468 752

There are no less than 5 beaches, 4 pebble beaches and one sandy beach 'Cala Moros', (Monkey Bay). The water is crystal clear, reflecting the magnificent backdrop of the mountain landscape above the village.

The Myth that Created a Monster.

Nowadays the village is lively and well populated, with a growing number of ex pats settling in and around the village.

The population count in 2009 topped 2500, although I am unsure how this statistic was actually calculated, and if it includes those who have second homes.

BY XAVI CHUPITO XAVI.CHUPITO@CHRONICCAT.COM

During my very first week in Cataluña, wandering through the little alleyways of L'Ampolla, exploring the village, I chanced upon the School of Language, run by Tony and Jan. At the time, alone in the area and so far without friends or acquaintances, I was relieved and so thankful that they were both so welcoming.

Tony invited me to attend the next practice of his singing group, The Decibels, in order to meet other people and enjoy singing together. The rehearsals, he informed me, took place in the next village along the N340, El Perellò.

It was the beginning of another rewarding period in my life that I will always remember as beginning in the school hall, in the village of El Perelló. The other choir members, maybe 25 or 30 all told, of various nationalities, welcomed me warmly, and I managed to join in with the singing and really enjoy it. Coffee in the local bar afterwards sealed a few first acquaintances, and in the following months we sang at various churches and locations with great reviews.

Continued on page 2...

I have always been slightly sceptical whenever I read that man-made global warming is going to change most of our lives in the next twenty or thirty years. With alarming regularity we have been bombarded with killer disease alerts, warnings of impending doom, end of the world scenarios, and what we can do to prevent them.

Most of these solutions usually involve us spending money, and none more so than the Man-Made Global Warming 'industry' that appears to have national governments in it's thrall.

The foundations for this current situation were laid in the Kyoto Protocol of 1997, where signatories to the protocol agreed to reduce emissions of various greenhouse gases, in the case of the European Union a required target of an 8% reduction in the three main gases of Carbon Dioxide, Methane and Nitrous Oxide by 2012.

The five most important concepts of the protocol are: 1. Commitments to reduce greenhouse gases – legally binding for all countries that have ratified the Treaty.

(The United States of America has yet to do so) 2. Facilities to implement the Treaty Objectives – carbon trading being one such mechanism.

3. Minimize the impact on developing countries by establishing funds.

4. Accounting, reporting and review procedures.

5. A committee to enforce the Treaty.

Continued on page 6...

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 1

EL PERELLÒ...

Not all the choir members actually live in El Perellò, but those that do are all interested in getting involved and enhancing the local community as much as possible. There is a Freesia Group, a charity for Cancer in Spain, that does a huge amount of fund-raising, and many ex-pats are actively involved in arranging activities to this end.

I decided to chat to new friends of mine, who I shall call John and Jane Doe, who have settled in El Perellò.

Now retired, they are enjoying life in their Spanish home and have no plans to return to the UK. Why Spain? Why El Perellò?

We chose Spain to be closer to our daughter, who lives in Zaragoza. In fact in 2002, we made several trips to Spain to test pilot the area. We wanted to be near the coast, so we drew a line on the map, from Zaragoza to the East coast, which resulted in us looking around here.

Yet only a small proportion of these plots were blessed with water and electricity. 'Absolutely no problem', we were assured. Yet, as time went by and we became more familiar with the type of plots that were available, we changed our criteria somewhat, opting to look at land that was within at least walking distance of a village and with water and electricity.

His Spanish must be pretty good then?

Not at all. He found he had to start learning, and quickly. Pretty interesting, learning builder's Spanish from Romanians!

The worst time – now we can laugh about it and change that to the best time – was when he tried to get them to alter the height of the This narrowed the search down to just 6 plots kitchen drawers. Instead of 'cahones', of land. We actually found a 'Casa de Pages', (drawers), he asked them to raise up their in El Perellò, up past the windmill, 'El Molino', 'cohones', (balls)! called 'Mas Torrent', self-catering FORTUNATELY THEY SAW the funny accommodation, where we stayed before side of it. making the final decision to purchase a plot of land on the edge of the village.

So how is your Spanish now, after 7 years It takes a mere 35 minutes to walk into the here? centre of the village, and could be hooked up Not bad, we get by, certainly not for the want for both water and electricity, and therefore of trying. We both made the decision to try and ticked all the boxes. learn Catalan, rather than Castellano, and Stunning views and combined dreams clinched signed up for a free course in the village. the deal. We considered ourselves very lucky The first meeting was packed, with around 30 indeed to have found our ideal spot. students of varying nationalities. It was So, from plot to home and a whole new life daunting, to say the least. The teacher made on Spanish soil. How long did the project no attempt to speak English, speaking the whole hour in only Catalan. take?

We were principally looking at plots of land in quite remote areas, listening to friends and estate agents, all advising us of the benefits of a beautiful casita surrounded by acres of A year. We settled into our new home in 2003, when I was 60. John lived in the garden, your own land, etc..... camping out in a little chalet for 12 months, WE WERE COMPLETELY smitten by while the work was carried out, until the house was completed. the image of beautiful views and

sunsets.

SPECIAL VALENTINES WEEKEND 3 COURSE MENU AT JR’S L’AMPOLLA SATURDAY 13TH & SUNDAY 14TH FEBRUARY 2010 Let’s go to JR’s!!!

I Fancy something more than just oats this Valentines...

Literally no one could understand a word. So of course, no one had any confidence to continue, so that by week two, only around 10 people turned up. In fact, we persevered for 2 whole years, but it was a struggle and at the end of it we had nothing really to show for it, we got nowhere.

We then decided to change direction and start learning Castellano, but still don’t get the opportunity on a daily basis to practise, and therefore we are still struggling. Catalan classes are still available free by the Ajuntament, who now employ a mediator to assist the English with any language related problems.

This lady has recently set up a ‘language exchange' with a local lady, so hopefully I will soon be speaking Spanish fluently.

How do you spend your retirement; are there many facilities in El Perellò?

When we first settled here, there weren't many other English ex-pats and not much to do. The only thing that seemed to be going on was a line-dancing class, so I joined that for a while.

Being interested in yoga, I was disappointed not to find any classes for that, so I started my own up, which still takes place once a month, although it is now run by someone else and not in El Perellò.

Please call 977 593 984

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 2

EL PERELLÒ...

Then there is the Carnival in the spring, with a fantastic procession, with many different events and activities, culminating in the Grand Ball at midnight, which seems to be another feature of the festivals. The village is full of life, everyone turns out to celebrate and take part, There is Tony's singing group, The Decibels, which is hugely popular, although it doesn't start until 10pm. The firework display is absolutely a Women's walking group, Badminton in the Sports Pavilion, Dancing stupendous. groups, including Line Dancing Tuesday afternoons, Art classes, loads There's also a Honey festival, as honey is an important industry here. of activities in fact.

The beehives are up in the mountains, and often there are group visits Through the Ajuntament, the council, there is an active 'Dones', into the mountains to see where the honey is made.

(Womens) Group, which organises activities for women, including Corpus Cristi celebrations take part in June, when the whole village is pottery and Keep Fit. Every full moon there is a Meditation group meet, transformed into a tapestry of flower carpets. In 2009 The Freesia held at the local Junior School.

Group were privileged to take part, who worked diligently to present a Unfortunately, like most of the local activities, it begins at 10pm. and magnificent British carpet display. The Group have now firmly involves all forms of meditation, with visitors from all over the world. established themselves as an official Local Group, and will therefore be taking part in and organising many future activities.

We have also been privileged to have been invited to the Barrio parties for the past few years. These are traditional neighbourhood parties, The area is renowned for its olives, olive oil and honey. Is there held in squares in the village. We were invited to one near to the Hotel any evidence of this in the village?

Panavera. Long tables are set out, families and groups take their own Actually there are two original olive presses here. One is in the main food to share. street, a working cold press. You can wander in with your olives and The Ajuntament, (council), provide a band, and from midnight, when get them pressed and be presented with your very own olive oil. They the party starts, we all eat, drink, dance and party until the small hours. have group visits and special trips, but anyone can go in. It's so It has really made us feel settled here, to integrate with the locals and authentic in there, with a huge old-fashioned fireplace in the corner. feel so welcomed. We have made some lovely English friends too, You are made very welcome, and given free tasting of the oil on little who we regularly enjoy barbeques, parties, board games or cards and pieces of bread, toasted in front of you over the fire. There is even a free glass of wine. walks with.

OVER THE LAST 7 years, there has been a great influx of English and other nationalities, and there is so much more available.

Then of course in the summer, there is the facility of the outdoor For those wanting more information, they have made a DVD, which explains how the olive picking area developed into the industry it is swimming pool, a facility provided in most villages in Cataluña. today.

Where do you like to eat out in the village?

So to round up, what are the benefits and drawbacks of life in El 'Subirats', remains a firm favourite.

Perellò for you?

They were the ones to provide egg and chips when we felt the need, and proceeded to put sausage, egg and chips on the menu, as more and more Brits came for this dish. I am a vegetarian, which the spanish don't seem to understand in the same way. If I asked for the vegetarian option, I would often be presented with a dish with ham in it, for example. They don't seem to class ham or chicken as meat. Since moving here, I have started eating fish, to give me a little more choice.

Sometimes things take an age, for example it took two years to get a working land line installed.

Another drawback is the wind; we should have done our homework more thoroughly. Although I noticed the numerous windmills dotted around, it never actually registered in my brain that this must be for a reason: the amount of wind! We are unfortunately in a sort of corridor, down the River Ebro from Zaragoza, and our plot is in a dip between

And the festivals?

There's the big festival of San Antonio, 15 – 20 January, when horses from all over the region walk three times round the village and are finally blessed at the church.

Local people then take their animals to be blessed, which is quite a sight, as there are many different pets, ranging from cats and dogs to guinea pigs and even an iguana.

As part of the San Antonio festivities, held at the end of the olive-picking season, there is a big traditional event which takes place in the Sports Hall. The locals have their own table, where they are given a large bowl and all the ingredients to make 'Calmant'.

Neat rum is first poured in, then 'flamed', or set alight, and finally hot coffee poured on top. This sweet, delicious drink is then passed round to celebrate the end of all their hard work with the olives. The atmosphere is electric, especially when the band begins to play and everyone gets up to dance.

Please book early to avoid disappointment as limited availability TUESDAY NIGHTS 8 PM BINGO

FRIDAY NIGHTS

SUNDAY LUNCH

FISH & CHIPS

TRADITIONAL ROAST DINNERS

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 3

EL PERELLÒ... two hills and hence in the line of many gale force winds.

Also, it took ages to get used to the shops being closed in the afternoon, which was frustrating.

Not speaking the language is also a big drawback, especially when we first came to live here, but fortunately we had a lot of help from a Dutch friend.

Now if we need help we go to the excellent Problem Surgery held twice weekly in the library. It was set up two years ago by an English woman and a Spanish man.

THE UPSIDE? Well, we spend a good 80% of our time outdoors, even being able to sit out and have lunch on Christmas Day. And with such fantastic views too. It's such a privilege. We are most definitely here to stay.

Valentines are for Life In India, in the past Valentine's Day has been explicitly discouraged by some of the Hindu fundamentalists.

Since 2001 there has been each year violent clashes between shopkeepers dealing in Valentine related items and Shiv Sena diehards, who oppose it as "cultural pollution from the west".

Those who violate this are dealt with harshly by baton-holding brigands of Shiv Sena who lurk in public places especially parks, chasing young people holding hands and others suspected to be lovers.

In many parts of south India couples who are found in parks and other public places are immediately forced to marry on the spot by the Shiv Sena and other similar activists.

After our chat, I drove over to El Perellò to the wine cellars, 'Marti'. One of the bonuses of singing in the school with The Decibels, was discovering this little 'cave', situated in the square, opposite the Sports Pavilion.

Inside the family-run establishment, huge casks line each side, containing various ports and wines, their aromas wafting strongly in the air. Everything is on tap and sold by the litre, and you take your own containers for them to fill. Prices are simply incredible for the excellent quality for everything on sale, which includes bottled champagne and other wines.

Round the back are huge jars of olives and four different vats of honey, which you can sample at will.

Apparently during the Spanish Civil War, they used to hide Republicans, Catalan freedom fighters, inside the casks, still with wine inside, to stop any bullets penetrating fully, and for authenticity, if the barrels were ever poked, so they would sound full. The bullet holes can still be seen today in those very same casks.

Freesia Group

FOURTH ANNUAL ST VALENTINE'S GALA DINNER DANCE IN AID OF CANCER CHARITIES IN SPAIN FRIDAY 12TH FEBRUARY, 2010 CLUB NAUTICO - SALOU - 9pm until late TICKETS - 45 € incl. free entry for draw (lots of super prizes)

So now I am homeward bound with my monthly stock of their Rioja and two litres of their best port.

Round tables for 12 personsCava reception with typical "pica pica"3 courses with wine, cava, coffee & liqueurs Dancing plus live entertainment Featuring Various local entertainers Raffle for super prizes Auction of SIGNED photographs of David Suchet (Hercules Poirot) and David Jason (Only Fools & Horses) dedicated to the Freesia Group and a selection of original paintings by local artists

My only dilemma this evening? Which one to start on!

Profit from entry tickets plus ALL proceeds from auction/raffle to cancer charities in Spain DRESS - Party - not casual please

Tickets on sale at the Rio Grande Pub, c/Amposta, Salou, or from any Freesia Group committee member, from Friday 22 January. Closing date Wed 10th TELEPHONE February. For more information about where to obtain the tickets please contact:BAZ ON Pam 977 395 064 or 620 213 898 or Elaine 977 767 414 or 619 637 795 660 879 852 or www.freesiagroup.com 977 050 302 email: info@freesiagroup.com after 6pm

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 4

GROWING NICELY AFTER

THE

SNOWS...

Where possible one can take advantage of these beneficial microclimates which can be enhanced by strategic planting of groups of trees and shrubs, and where there are negative microclimates, one can also utilise any type of man made protection, for example even a slatted or wire fence will break the force of the wind considerably.

A solitary mauve daisy flower of the Osteospermum emerging from beneath the snow is surely a messenger heralding of the beginning of spring? I keep reminding myself that here February is usually the first month of spring; it is such a beautiful month in Catalunya.

Snug and warm, sitting in front of a huge fire, I looked out at a winter wonderland of white, overnight nearly 15cm of snow fell, extraordinarily beautiful to look at, but almost immediately I began to contemplate the Many years ago I chose it as my favourite possible devastating consequences of the We are very fortunate to be tucked into a small month to take my parents away for their winter severe weather to my garden particularly all holidays to Spain, a chance for us all to get the fragile plants, as well as the wild life. away from the long UK winters. I always rented the same small villa with an enchanting After three days of sub zero temperatures, terraced garden, full of decorative arches and biting winds and frozen nights, I had rather fountains, with seating areas on several levels mixed feelings that no matter how beautiful the designed for relaxing, to just admire the snowy vista, the consequences may be that I flowers and the view. would need to replant my cherished Catalan garden.

It gave me great pleasure simply to enjoy the multitude of exotic and magnificent blossoms that surprised me with their quantity and glamour so early in the year, which in England pocket in the mountainside, facing south, would not bloom until at least June or July. An which both shields us and the garden from the added bonus of course was the gentle warmth of the Spanish February sun. All those years worst of the winds and acts as a sun trap. we visited Spain, enjoying brief respites from Now the snow has begun to melt, first on the hard winters, I now believe, maybe had an tiled terraces and light gravel which I think unforeseen consequence. Because I think it must absorb the warmth of the sun, but I am was during the special winter holidays that hoping the land has retained much of the suns unconsciously forged the resolve for me to Although I know that snow acts like a blanket, penetrating heat during the summer months, retire here. protecting delicate plants from the worst of the now trapped deep in the soil, to act like a This recent weather has reminded me of those extreme weather, at mid-day, the ferocious radiator, under the blanket of snow, so that it long cold dark English winters and that, in a northerly winds had a chill factor of -5, which will protect the roots of vulnerable tree and few short years of living in Catalunya, I have was beating down, hitting the terraces of plants from freezing. begun to take this wonderful climate for Aloes, Agave and other cacti as well as the I am aware the cold weather is not yet over, granted. I now recall, at the beginning of this beds of succulents, all of which are entirely more snow is forecast? However now the wind year, when I was walking with visiting English exposed, with no high planting to shelter them has dropped, it feels relatively much warmer, friends on the beach who were both enjoying from the from the full force of winters icy blast. the remaining snow lies in pure white drifts, the sunshine, with a temperature, according to my friends, comparable to any summers day Snow!!! I didn't quite believe the weather untouched and is beginning to recede. in the UK. forecast, but I took some precautions, I To my delight and surprise the melting snow brought inside the smaller pots of tender has revealed almost all the garden unscathed. Although I shivered, it made me acutely aware plants, moving others into the shelter of the The succulents pink bell flowers and even the of just how much I have acclimatised to the house. I always put any pots of cacti into a splendid red flowers of Aloe arboretum are Catalan Seasons. The shoreline was fringed makeshift cold frame for the coldest months raising their drooping spires with an amazing with lovely sea grasses, and as I watched them anyway, which I hoped would suffice. tenacity. The force of nature in all its aspects wave in the gentle sea breeze I felt them whisper the idea for the next article ‌.

I knew I could do nothing, just wait, like all never ceases to amaze and astound. gardeners, to see which plants are tough Curiously, the large Agave americana, which enough to survive and which ones would dominated my London garden and for years succumb to the freezing conditions. Ringing protected my pond from the raiding Heron, round our friends to see if all was well I always had to be lugged inside before the first became aware of the many different weather hint of cold weather, Agaves were renowned conditions that are very specific to quite for hating both wet and cold, disintegrating into localised areas, so one friend's response was a soggy mess at the first contact with frost. "what snow?"

Yet here they have survived without any sign Different microclimates (for they can either of distress. I was delighted to discover that soften or magnify the harsh conditions) are their Catalan cousins, have proved to be much created not only by natural lie of the land but tougher. They appear to be unharmed by the also together with the ancient and well placed freezing rain and wind, thanks to the soft thick dry stone walls that divert both rain /sleet/snow blanket of snow that has covered them for and the prevailing winds. several days now.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 5

CATALUNYA’S OWN MR. ANGRY Tell me if I am being a big lemon here, but the above just reads as another way for unelected bodies to interfere in our lives, and take money from us, whilst at the same time, being self-justifying.

billion gigatonnes, and were all this extra carbon dioxide to be absorbed by the Earth's seas, it would make not a scrap of difference.

atmosphere, rather than the other way around. Once temperatures drop again, in the next cycle, then the CO2 will drop as well.

Temperature rises over the past 1000 years point to an acceleration in the past 50 years, Conveniently, the emissions from international the so-called 'hockey-stick graph' pictured I was always brought up to believe that common sense will allow to travel far, and I aviation are exempted from being included in below. despair at the sums of money that are being these limits. Not a bad trade to be in. spent, and will be spent in years to come, on Does that mean when all the ' Green Decision this Green Circus, with the man in the street Makers' jet off to their next global eventually footing the bill. conference/summit/junket on Global Warming, Fantastic plans of giant mega wind turbines that it will not count towards their own personal marching out to sea in droves, just to meet carbon footprints? some alarmist agenda, and which cannot possibly be built in time nor will provide a Carbon Trading fraction of the power required.

A mechanism was devised whereby countries It just does not make sense. could offset their emissions by buying credits from countries that were below their targets Far better to stop the destruction of the LAST 1,000 YEARS TEMPERATURE and had ‘emission credits' to sell. These rainforests – the world's great gas exchange credits can be obtained by financing schemes centre - and plant more trees. within other countries to reduce their Compare and contrast the second graph, greenhouse gases. which shows that whilst it has been increasing In fact, to reduce carbon dioxide we could all over the most recent time period, it has also talk less – six and three-quarter billion people THERE IS A burgeoning market in varied tremendously. Given that there is a could have quite an effect. trading these credits to companies wealth of recent data, the options for that are interested in offsetting their measuring global temperature many years ago are simply not as forth-coming, nor can their emissions, and it is not difficult to accuracy be relied upon. “Stone Age Man – envisage how the system could be cold, Mediaeval serf – hot “ doesn't quite cut exploited. it.

The closure of the metalworks on Tyneside, recently reported in the UK National Press, allows the Indian owners to close the UK plant, receiving large sums of money by lowering their carbon footprint, a potential £600 million.

By re-locating in India, it will also receive a similar sum in credits, with no real reduction in the amount of the gases pushed into the atmosphere. A nice bit of business.

What is interesting to note is that Carbon Dioxide is vital for life on this planet, in that it is one of the most important airborne fertilisers in the world, and without it there would be no green plants at all.

Most schoolchildren would be able to tell you that a green plant takes in CO2 and water, and with a bit of help from some sunshine, converts it into oxygen. If you increase the amount of carbon Dioxide, you will increase plant growth.

Not really a nightmare scenario, unless the plants grew into man-eating triffids, I suppose.

To add heft to this crucial part of the whole discussion, man is responsible for releasing about 26 gigatonnes of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere each year, at current levels. The oceans contain about 1.3

LAST 5,000 YEARS TEMPERATURE

A far more likely an explanation is that the Earth, spinning as it does, can from time to time tilt it's central axis from one side to another and back again over thousands of years. This would give rise to temperature fluctuations, polar ice melts, rising sea levels, and then back again.

IN OTHER WORDS, climate change is an entirely natural phenomenon, and has nothing to do with the burning of fossil fuels. There is some debate that rising temperatures increase the amount of Carbon Dioxide in the

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?"

"You’ll know tonight," he said.

That evening the husband came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 6

COMMUNITY NEWS PARSON PAUL PONDERS . . . .

PAUL NEEDLE IS the English Vicar serving local congregations in Alcossebre, Ampolla and Vinaros.

According to modern historians; the Victorians could not bring themselves to talk about sex but talked endlessly about death. In the 21st Century the opposite seems to be true. But in the past three years since I arrived in this part of Spain to serve as a Vicar I have found myself talking about death and dealing with bereavement because it is one of the reasons I was ordained forty years ago.

In Britain many Funeral Directors offer an insurance pre-paid plan to take the financial worry out of the hassle of a sudden death, and such insurance can be found in Spain.

It can be a little daunting otherwise to be faced with a request for several thousand Euros – often in cash - in the turbulent hours before a funeral can take place. A little advance thinking and planning can be a boon.

Next month (if I am permitted to write again after this somewhat direct and factual contribution!) I will tell you about how the English church can help with weddings – a much brighter topic. Back in 1970 I was ordained, having promised to be there to serve people in the place If you have steeled yourself to read beyond this point you need to know that death I was called to. I am pleased that forty years on I may be and funerals are handled very differently in Spain from the pseudo-sanitised customs able to help in times of joy and distress. in Britain.

One feature which shocks and surprises people here is that after a bereavement everything happens with frightening speed.

There is no luxury of a week or so to prepare for a funeral and that can be especially difficult when family or friends want to come from other countries for the ceremony. It can be quite normal for local Catalunyans to die late one afternoon and have a funeral the following day. Funeral Directors will agree to wait for up to 72 hours from the time of death but will insist that a service takes place within that time.

PAUL NEEDLE

Local people, perhaps because of their history and culture, appear to be more blasé about physical and practical details. Britons often feel that dead bodies are treated here with little decorum and in an almost “matter of fact” way.

This is reflected by the way that victims of accidents and atrocities are often shown on television news in Spain where in the UK violated bodies are only ever shown as part of gritty realistic drama programmes. The locals are not being discourteous in their actions. It is the way things are done here.

Until quite recently all funerals were burials and cremation is still quite a new thing.

Because the Roman Catholic Diocese of Tortosa covers most of my vast “parish” from Alcossebre to L’Ametlia we are blessed because the Bishop of Tortosa generously allows his priests to make their churches available for English funerals, as well as for our other services. This can often help a family to arrange for a church service prior to a burial or cremation.

be contacted on

662 482 944 or there are more details on the church website HTTP://www.azaharanglican.org

Other decisions have to made quickly too. A Vicar is much more than someone to pray with you when things go wrong and I prefer to be involved as soon as possible if a religious ceremony in English is needed. There may be language difficulties or misunderstanding between the family, church minister and Funeral Director.

You can find that helpful and well-meaning Spanish neighbours have arranged matters according to their own local customs before there is time to think and things cannot then be changed.

CAN

The Freesia Group Just to let you know that the Christmas Fair in Salou was a huge success and the takings surpassed all expectations, especially considering the economic "crisis". At the Salou Fair we raised over €6,300, and at the El Perelló Christmas Fair €2,845.58 was raised, bringing the total to the fabulous sum of €9,145.58.

This year between the two groups we've raised €32,000. As you probably know, we divide the monies between the three Spanish charity organizations we support - the CNIO (official cancer research institute in Madrid), the AECC (Association Against Cancer Tarragona branch) and AFANOC (Children with Cancer) for a special project in Tarragona. We have just issued cheques for €5,500 to each of the charities.

Whereas in Britain most funerals take place in a crematorium chapel the Spanish experience is very different. I have recently found that the new crematorium in Amposta can offer a chapel for up to 80 mourners for the service.

Since the Freesia Group began, some €176,273 have been raised up to date between the two branches.

None of this would have been possible without the help of our wonderful supporters and donors. We have a marvellous team who are always there when needed, particularly to help with our main events - the Christmas Fair, the Fun Run in May, and the St. Valentine's dinner dance.

But here again the practicalities may come as a shock to the unwary. There is no English style curtain or door for the coffin to pass through at the end of the ceremony.

Thank you all once again for devoting your time and efforts to this worthy cause.

Close family, and any other mourners are invited to a separate part of the building where they can see the coffin slid directly into the cremator – a sight many raw and newly bereaved people might prefer should be left to take place in private.

Looking forward to your continuing support in 2010.

Best wishes.

The Freesia Group Committee.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 7

TALES FROM THE RIVER EBRO VALLEY STRANGERS IN TOWN

BY R OSIE R EAY What gives the thieves the right to steal?

When folk have toiled for every meal.

After many nights of no sleep Many problems do seep Loads of issues to resolve Excellent plans do unfold Dawn is nearly here At last my head is clear There is always another way!

I hear other Expats say.

The phone shrill does the silence shatter A startled Spanish voice does natter To my partner who knows the lingo Our Ebro home has been visited by some "dringo" Our window shutters had been closed tight They broke them with all their might Then entered our beautiful dream house In the dark of the night,as quiet as a Church mouse.

New properties have been bought As life's dreams were sought Much money changes hands For these wonderful and beautiful green lands Burglars abound While owners are out of town Plasma TV and electrical goods were taken The gate was chained. Or am I mistaken?

Who has been on their land With their dirty, greedy, thieving hands?

The dogs did howl while thieves were on the ground But what's the good, dogs trapped in their compound?

The noise was heard down the valley While villagers snoring did rally One man stood on terrace cold Could not believe that men could be so bold!

Men from other strange lands Group in Bars with cards in hands Not a beer, a coffee on the tables They talk of foreign fables Plastic bags are brought in Then swopped with the man in the dark skin Many hours spent in the sun Are they the thieves on the run?

As the final whistle rings

Newly built "fincas" have been robbed While the fishermen wives do sob Old smelly, fishing clothes they even took Straw tattered hats off their hooks Electrical goods and all their tools They didn't even leave his old wooden stool They took all and sundry Probably sold by Monday Mandarins and oranges have been picked Does that give them the right to nick Good wages have been earned New languages have been learned They may come from far off strange lands Jobs they gave them with beaming smiles For they know they had travelled many miles This is a small agricultural town The tales of thieving are new sounds An odd orange taken here and there To quench a thirst, folk rest and stare But never before a thought, I understood To steal another man's hard earned goods Even his working shoes to take For what purpose? I ask, for pity sake!

Jealous of what others make Together we must work and live Surplus food amongst us give New languages to learn Wages to earn Legends we share Let us take care Children are born not to take Village folk avoid that mistake!

Many nations can be mixed As we strive hard this problem to be fixed We can love and protect our own While together new moral seeds are sown The River Ebro brings us beauty and peace Eagles and owls watch over, as the village sleeps Good will! Good intentions! Good actions abound!

We all love this this old agricultural town!

What gives the thieves the right to steal?

When folk have toiled for every meal. (c) RosieReay@FodenPress.com

The village youths are well behaved The parents have slaved For good manners to inherit That would do their grandparents merit!

There is no room here for drugs In agreement all do shrug Together we must hug As we drive out these bad bugs We mingle with the Spanish The mutual friendship all do relish Who are these people who prowl the night Then remove our goods and disappear out of sight We live in the Spanish village community For all we want is friendship, laughter and unity They are not English! They are not Spanish!

Or are they? Oh, I wish these bad people would vanish!

Not all these thieves need strangers be World Crisis has hit many families hard for all to see Football is watched on Sunday evening Total communities are out of work While we leave Mother reading And in the darkest hours they lurk We sit and lean against the fence For they now have many mouths to feed Not long before the strangers come hence The Social System does not fulfil their They walk below us along the country track needs Many a plastic bag they swing across their backs But still I wonder, if this is not just greed The village team scores As they hide their ill gotten gains amongst The crowd does roar. the Ebro weeds We look again down the now dark road Not a sound is heard, but from a far off toad The game is nearly over Before we the spot these rovers They move so slow Their eyes kept low New plastic bags they swing

To God we pray To show new ways To sinners bold May the truth be told For their thieving to be stopped Before in prison they are dropped Life is too short to take

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 8

REVIEWS "...From Barcelona.Stories behind the City: Vol.1 “

BY JEREMY

HOLLAND

Paperback: 204 pages Publisher: Lean Marketing Press (20 Nov 2009) Language English ISBN-10: 1905430744 ISBN-13: 978-1905430741 I can't stop thinking about this book. I can't stop telling everyone about this collection of short stories. I am definitely waiting impatiently to see Vol.2 in publication. Every story is so fascinating. Sometimes Jeremy takes an old legend and weaves it, in and out of the streets and cobbles of Barcelona. Other times, you feel you are ambling along next to him as he brings alive the sounds and smells of a typical day in the City.

HOWEVER, NOT THE City we know of giant football stadiums and glitzy shops. Rather the tapestry of narrow alley ways where shops and tiny bars and little hidden away cafe's rub shoulders off the normal tourist beat.

Catalan phrases season and sprinkle across the pages, adding zest to his story telling and depth to his characters. All the time you are increasing your local dialect knowledge without boring hours spent listening to educational language CD's.

His exceptional sculpture of the English language flows throughout the pages as he interlinks the quirky, unusual designs and eccentricities of the magnificent Antonio Gaudi and "his erstwhile benefactor Eusebio Guell". Jeremy Hollands lives, breathes and exalts in understanding the culture and underlining passions of Catalonian patriotism.

One has to smile when Gaudi is introduced to the King of Spain in Castilian Spanish.

When HRH answers in the same idiom, a smile creases your lips as you just know Gaudi is going to offer a linguistic insult, by replying in his native and much loved Catalan tongue. You can almost hear the King and Guell gasp in shock!

The chapter, "Barcelona Gothic" has also been published as a stand alone short story as "An Urquinaona Healing." This one enthralled me. Gave me such a buzz.

It is a touch eerie in parts where the old wooden lift (elevator) is described as being "the size of a coffin". In one single phrase Jeremy has captured his audience. Your attention is gripped throughout. You are never quite sure what will follow next as you turn over the page...

"Senyor Jordi i el Drac" - an old, old legend we have all been endeared to, but I have never embraced it as much as I devoured each word of Jeremy's craft of quirky story telling. Every story is written with fervour, vibrancy and sensitivity to Catalonians and his admirations of all the buildings and architecture old and new.

You feel you have met these characters before, as they pop in and out.

His place descriptions are so exact - like the Hook Bar tucked away behind the scenes, honouring the fable of Peter Pan's Captain Hook. Definitely a place for a "Pirate's night out". You can just visualize the peg legs hanging from the rafters.

Eye patches gracing the decor as bartenders serve you in typical pirate's puffy sleeves.

I fervently suggest to all new tourists and Expats to have, before they hop on a plane or a Renfe train to head for the City of Barcelona to taste the carejello and sample the tapas along the way of Jeremy's Holland labyrinth of medieval streets, this book is a definitely a "must read, must have". You will get so much more out of your stay and other infoseek tourist books on Barcelona!

by Rosie Reay ROSIEREAY@FODENPRESS.COM

THE NEW COMPLETE BOOK OF SELF-SUFFICIENCY

BY JOHN SEYMOUR Publisher: Dorling Kindersley ISBN-10: 0751364428 ISBN-13: 978-0751364422 The classic guide for realists and dreamers.

Completely re-written from the original that was first published in 1975, this book contains everything from spinning wool to making bricks.

TAKEN FROM THE foreword, “We can do things for ourselves or we can pay others to do them for us”.

Whilst not necessarily advocating that you embrace total self-sufficiency, in this book, John Seymour takes you down the first faltering steps of self-sufficiency and from then on you can travel as far along this path as you wish. If you had always wondered how to gut a rabbit and prepare it for the pot, then this book is for you.

The book will take you through every single aspect of “doing it yourself”, be it mending a fence, keeping bees or making cider. Other topics include cheese-making (and how to milk the cow, or goat), looking after various animals and there is also a section on crafts and skills.

Having read through this book countless times, and referred to it 'in action' , all of the tips and suggestions that John Seymour gives are taken from real-life examples; He has lived the life and “walked the walk”.

The book shows you how to grow vegetables, whether you have a window box, an allotment or several acres to play with. He does not blind you with science, merely shows you how he does things, and more importantly why. Rather than filling your garden with chemical fertilisers, he shows you what is required to improve the quality of your soil in a natural and sustainable way.

John Seymour died in 2004, aged 90, and leaves behind a large legacy of teachings and beliefs that had a great deal of influence on the Self-Sufficiency Movement. The BBC' series “The Good Life” was to a large extent based on his book, The Fat of the Land, first published in 1961.

The New Complete Book of Self-Sufficiency is a friendly book, full of unexpected nooks and crannies of information that you didn't know you needed, and you will find yourself dipping into it from time to time when you least expect it.

Apologies, but there is no Restaurant Review this month as we had spent all our money on Christmas, and there was nothing left ...

We hope to be out and about next month.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 9

SHELTER PAW PRINTS SHELTER PAW PRINTS ... DOGS

LEAVE PRINTS ON YOUR HEART

In this section we present 3 shelter animals each month, who are ready for adoption and in search of a good home.

Shelter Favorite Bello is a 2 year old mid-sized black male. He's a sweet young dog who fits into any type of family situation. He gets along with cats and other dogs both male and female. Kids are lots of fun for Bello and he'd love to have his own family to entertain. Like so many, Bello was found in the street and was lucky enough to be brought to the no-kill shelter.

He had had an accident (probably hit by a car) that left him with a limp. Though he only uses 3 of his 4 legs, it doesn't slow him down one bit while running, jumping, and playing ... his greatest pastimes.

ALUMINIS I PERSIANES All types of Blinds - Rolling Aluminium - PVC Mosquiteras and Screens Security Blinds and doors Adjustable Reja Bars Decorative Leaded Windows Ram贸n Brull Melich C/ Trenta-sis, 14 Camarles Tel/Fax: 977 470 395 Mob: 671 079 395

Not just any blinds....

Bello is waiting for a new playful family to take him home.

Shelter Ambassador As shelter ambassador, Lila is the animal with the longest residence.

This beautiful chocolate brown female was recovered from the street where she had just given birth to 12 pups.

The puppies have all been re-homed, and it's time for this now spayed geriatric mom to find a comfortable pillow to retire on.

Though about 12 years old, Lila is still very active and loves to go for walks. She gets along with other dogs and fits into just about every family situation. Her perfect home would be a warm spot by the fire, a daily walk in the fresh air, and lot's of love.

Shelter May-Day Sita is this month's shelter emergency because she cannot adapt to shelter life.

Like so many, this 2 year old single white female was found as a stray and brought into the shelter. Though here she is kept safe and given food and shelter, Sita has a hard time being confined. She's a great escape artist with loads of energy and even climbs fences to get some well deserved exercise.

Though she gets along fine with the other dogs in the shelter, it's not enough to make her happy. Every day she suffers more in the current shelter surroundings, and urgently needs to be rehomed.

Sita is desperately seeking a new home where she can release her energy and be loved.

If you are interested in one of these animals, please visit the no kill animal shelter "Alberg d'animals de les Terres de l'Ebre" in Camarles.

As well as providing the full range of blinds and mosquiteras, Aluminis I Persianes of Camarles can also provide the full range of shutters, security doors and reja bars. They specialise in the motorisation and servicing of existing installations, and being a local company, offer a high level of customer service. Should you be looking for additional security for your house, or replacing your existing windows or shutters than please give Ramon a call - he would be delighted to hear from you.

A recent addition to their portfolio is the design, supply and fitting of decorative leaded glass windows and screens, which has proved very popular. Each window or screen is hand made and there are several methods of manufacture, depending on the effect that is required.

They can take a image of your own choosing or you can select from a vast range of bespoke designs and create exactly the effect you require. You can even use an existing photograph and have it etched onto the glass.

The possibilities are endless.

ENGLISH SPEAKING DENTAL SURGERY JENNIFER JACK - DENTIST ALEXANDER JACK MASTER DENTAL TECHNOLOGIST

Saturday and Sunday mornings 9:00 - 12:00 there are English speaking volunteers present. Currently the shelter does not have regular opening hours, so please call before visiting to avoid disappointment.

Directions: On the N340 between L'Aldea and Camarles take the entrance road next to the big red Estrella Damm building, at km 1089.5.

From here, call the shelter at 619848778 and they will explain how to continue.

Mon / Weds / Fri 10.00 -16.00 Tue, Thu 14.00 - 20.00

Plaza De Bous, 1 12598 PENISCOLA (Castellon) TEL./FAX: 964 481 588

PLAYA NORTE

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 10

PUERTO

LAS MASCOTAS BREAKING CYCLE

THE

VICIOUS

BY MEIKE KNOL MEIKE.KNOL@CHRONICCAT.COM It's a beautiful sunny afternoon.

You're driving on a quiet small road enjoying the countryside and scenery. A smile creeps upon your face at the sight of flowers blossoming in bright colours and the new olive tree leaves shimmering in the sun. You've drifted away into deep peaceful thought, when all of a sudden you see it.

A LITTLE FURTHER ahead something is moving around on the road.

As you come closer, you realize it's a dog. Fearstruck it scurries into the thick roadside brush looking for a place to hide. You slow down. In passing by, you notice that you can count each and every rib and that the poor thing is generally in bad shape. As you almost come to a halt, you wonder what you could do to help this poor animal. You don't want to leave it there by the side of the road. But what on earth will you do with yet another dog? The cost, the commitment ...

animal protection associations to pick it up. These agencies then take care of the rest and insure that the local government assumes at least partial financial responsibility.

Believe it or not, Spain has animal protection laws just like the rest of the countries of the European Union. Only here, they aren't always implemented by the local governments.

This beautiful Catalunya actually has the best animal protection laws of all of Spain!

What did we do in our countries of origin when we came across wounded or abandoned animals?

We simply took them to an animal shelter or informed the local

What currently happens is that animal lovers take an abandoned animal straight to a shelter. This way, the animal is not put through the correct channels, there is no official documentation of the incident, and the animal shelters do not receive adequate financial support from the local governments.

Lacking documented records of But many of us aren't even aware these cases, the true extent of the of these laws and what we can do problem cannot be revealed in order to pressure the city into to support their implementation. action, and no case can be made According to the Catalan law, it is to convince the city into upholding the city's responsibility to: the law. capture and control abandoned, lost, and wild animals. accept these animals when brought to them, and keep them in adequate housing facilities until recovered by their owners, or if necessary, put to sleep. cooperate with animal protection associations. confiscate animals that are subject to mistreatment, aggression, torture, malnutrition, are unhealthy or are not kept in proper housing

Then, as you've almost stopped, in your rearview mirror you see the dog looking at you, a glimpse of hope in his eyes. He runs toward you, hoping to have been found by his lost owner. Startled, with no time to think, you hit the gas, and The idea of how things should with almost screeching tyres you work is as follows: try to get away.

You find an abandoned animal.

Tongue almost dragging on the You take it to the local police. They ground, the dog follows you, accept the animal and park it in running faster and faster their holding facilities. They desperately trying to reach you contact the animal protection and not to lose you again. But the association or shelter that they car is faster. You speed away and work with to pick the animal up. the poor dog is left behind, to an unsure future ...

THIS IS A very good concept, but in reality its implementation leaves much to be desired.

Because of this, the shelters are usually overcrowded and have no prospect of expanding their facilities according to true need with the aid and support of the local government.

They may not be able to accept the animal you bring in and you may get "stuck" with the poor thing. f you do take the animal to the local police, chances are that they will not accept the animal and tell you to keep it yourself, take it to an overfull shelter where they know it won't be accepted, or release it where you found it ... so it can find its way home ... yeah right!

SO do?

WHAT SHOULD

you

Most of us are aware of the horrifying problem with the strays and have no idea exactly what to do about it. e see the poor creatures scurrying around in search for food and shelter. We want to help, but aren't sure how.

If you find an animal which you belief to be lost, you can try to A report is filed and the shelter reunite it with its owner. receives some type of financial aid for this particular animal. The At a veterinary clinic or animal shelter holds the animal for the shelter the animal can be checked legally required 20 days in which for the presence of a chip (a small it can hopefully be reunited with its microchip under the skin, usually owner. After this period the animal in the neck area on the left, that is put up for adoption or possibly carries the owners contact euthanised. information). The chip is found by

a special reading device, and you shouldn't be charged for this service, though always check this beforehand.

If the animal does not carry a chip, you can hang up posters around the area and place ads into classifieds sections of papers such as this great Catalunya Chronicle.

If you don't succeed in finding the owner or you find an abandoned animal, recover the animal and take it to the local police (Policia Local) of the Town/city district where you found it.

As required by law, the local police should accept the animal, smile, and send you on your way.

Most cities and towns have found ways to slack on the implementation of this law by not accepting animals and giving excuses such as not having proper holding facilities, or not having contacts with an animal shelter.

If this happens to you, you should insist on them taking the animal or immediately contacting an animal protection association to come and take it off your hands while still inside the police station.

This way, the association may get the animal through the system. (yes, I'm writing this! how many of us are now curling their toes at the thought of insisting on something to a Spanish officer of the law while inside a police station ... yeah, i know ... but it's the only way).

S HOULD

THEY ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO TAKE ACTION , YOU MUST REPORT THIS!

Take as much information as you can, such as the officer's name and badge number, etc, and file a "denuncia". Yes, and to make this simple, You will need to file this "denuncia" in not one, but three different places. Namely at the Mossos d'Esquadra, the Guardia Civil, and the Medio Ambiente. To make things even more complicated, many times these three offices are not located in the same city, making it a time-consuming hobby.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 11

LAS MASCOTAS...

BUT PLEASE DO spend this time! It's the small bit you can do to help save many more lives and provoke change!

THERE ARE SO many. Where do they all come from?

Cats and dogs DO sometimes simply get lost. People move and leave their once beloved pets behind to fend for themselves. Yes, sometimes hunters leave their dogs behind in the campo. For whatever reasons, people toss out an unwanted pet in a remote area or gas-station.

Sometimes pets are kept loose on unfenced fincas or in gardens and while roaming, these pets can get lost or be mistaken for abandoned animals.

Take copies of the "denuncias" to the animal shelter, so that they can make a collective report to present to the town hall on how many animals were not accepted within a given period, and that there truly is need for change. You can always ask a local shelter or animal protection association for their help in this process. If you don't speak enough Spanish, maybe one of the volunteers there can go with you. These are just a few reasons of how strays appear in the street or The down side to this is that you have to keep the animal in your countryside, and if some or none of these animals are spayed or possession until the case is processed, and that may take a while. But neutered ... soon there will be natural born strays, with ever increasing at this point a local shelter will probably try to help you in any way they numbers. can and somehow house the animal for you.

Then there is the other side of the coin.

In the unlikely event that the city does take responsibility and accepts the animal from you, once you leave the animal in the hands of the local police, its future is uncertain. Many times the animals are simply tossed back out on the street, usually in another city district to become someone else's problem.

If the animal is lucky, it will be picked up by a non-kill animal shelter.

If the animal is not so lucky, it will go to an animal shelter where it may eventually be euthanised. If the animal is unlucky, it will be put into the town-halls holding facilities for the required holding period until recovery by its owner, left there to its own devices, and finally put to sleep ... if it has managed to survive that long.

IF

YOUR HEART IS BREAKING AT THE THOUGHT OF THIS, BUT YOU WOULD LIKE TO TRY TO MAKE THIS LAW WORK, THEN YOU MAY ALSO TRY THE FOLLOWING.

Contact non-kill shelters in your area and find out which one is the partner for a specific town, and would be willing to work with you. Once you are at the local police station you can insist on waiting for the animal to be picked up by this specific shelter. All you have to do then is take the time to wait for the animal protectors to come, and you can see that it goes to a better place.

Remember though, that eventually there's a limit to the amount of animals that the No-Kill shelters can take on. To keep this concept alive, please adopt your pets from these shelters, and resist the temptation of taking puppies or kittens from unwanted nests of neighbours or friends that are the result or irresponsible breeding and pet ownership.

If you fall in love with your rescue and want to keep the animal, things are a bit complicated too. You would have to go through the same process as described above, handing the animal over to the animal protection association.

Then, after everyone has left the local police area, you can call the shelter, arrange to meet with them and discuss an adoption plan. The shelter is required by law to keep the stray for 20 days. This time is for the owner to have the possibility to recover the animal. This means that by following this route, you cannot adopt the animal immediately.

However, again, this is for the greater good of the hundreds of abandoned animals still to come. You could go and visit the animal every day, and maybe also calmly think about whether this specific animal is really the best choice for you. Maybe another animal from this shelter would fit much better into your life-style or family situation?

If not, 20 days are over before you know it.

HOW COULD ONE persons actions alone possibly make a difference?

Well, it can! If all of us just play our part, collectively we can make a huge difference! You can start at home by keeping your animals from roaming freely, having them micro-chipped so they can be reunited with you if they ever get lost, and have all your pets spayed or neutered so they cannot contribute to the overpopulation of unwanted animals.

As foreigners and Spaniards with a heart for animals; We find them, fall in love, and keep them. No record that it ever happened. If you find an abandoned animal, please take the trouble to put it through the system! However strenuous the process! To help all the others and to hopefully one day arrive at a point where things change, and there are less strays out there. Yes, of course it's easier to simply keep the stray and take care of it. But in this way, nothing will change, and in a few months, or maybe even weeks, you will see the next lost soul abandoned on the street, its only hope is for you to take pity and save it as well.

Don't close your eyes to mistreatment or abandoned animals, and wave it off with the thought that this is just how the Spanish do it. Each time you do, the problem gets worse and there's no end in sight to these practices.

So if you've already broken this years standard New Years resolution like drinking less, eating less, exercising more, quitting smoking, and learning to speak Catalan, here's a new one for you, not too imposing and well worth fulfilling:

In 2010, help the animals by making the laws work!

Renewable Energy Systems Run your well pump on solar panels up to 200 meters deep 550 litres a day and up.

We provide full installation / sales / service in the Amposta / Tortosa / El Perello region

Call 693 206 868 for more info, we speak English, Deutsch, Nederlands, y un poco de espa単ol

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 12

LETTERS Readers Letters - to the Editor Please address your letters to:- The Catalunya Chronicle , C/ Martirs 6, 43500, Tortosa, or alternatively you may email them to letters@chroniccat.com All letters must contain a contact telephone number - thank you.

The post-bag started to fill up - many thanks to everyone who wrote in.

All submissions must be received by the 12th of the calendar month to ensure publication for the following issue.

Dear Editor Went to Tortosa today to renew my EHIC card and referring to an article in your Dec issue this new card is actually valid until 30/4/10.

Checking on what to do on expiry of this card I duly went to the web site recommended in the article as it said that the next card would now have to be issued from UK. This didn’t´t actually make sense to me but on I plod! The ehic.org web site has various options quite a few not actually operational to do on line but eventually I find a form to apply for a EHIC only to find that you have to be a UK resident!

How do us ex-Uk residents who now have Spanish residency actually get one of these cards that would entitle us to possible emergency medical treatment when going back to Uk for a holiday or indeed to any other EU country?

I would much appreciate your advice/help in this matter as I am sure would many other people who find themselves in the same dilemma as myself.

Many thanks, in anticipation of your reply. Regards, M Collier, El Perello Resident Reply to a letter to the Editor@chroniccat.com on EHIC cards relating to Note Bene: the December 2009 issue.

By still owning a property in the UK does not guarantee you health care ( or Many thanks Maria, Peter Collier for writing in and sharing your experiences at likewise in Spain or Germany with their health systems) where you hold residency Tortosa INSS. You mention you have Spanish residency, but not whether you different to your country of citizenship. are receiving health care under the E121 system as a Senior Citizen pensioner The conversation closed with: or as a Medical Pensioner on long-term incapacity benefit. ...the UK Government, the DWP and the British Social Security system are not responsible for medical care of any nature, emergency or otherwise, for such As it is only under this system that British citizens, with Spanish Residency, persons. These people must pay privately for their health care abroad and in health care is paid for by the UK Government. This is where the changes will the UK by taking out individual travel insurance for emergency cover and have occur! private Spanish or German Medical Insurance cover (Medical Aid).

These are key factors.

I will relay to you the results of 4 phone calls made on 13th January, 2010 to Neither authorities are responsible for free medical services for these said various UK DWP (Department of Works and Pensions) and UK Health authorities individuals. responsible for implementing the EU rulings and UK Government legislation for Without due prejudice. issuing the EHIC (European Health Insurance Cards.)

It is interesting to note, that they all responded like parrots reading me the said RosieReay@FodenPress.com same email of their directive instructions, but were lack lustre in talking to "The Press"! Britain has agreed with Spain and Germany with their Social Security body to re-issue "provisional EHIC cards " for all EHIC card holders with Spanish or German residency under the E121 system and where the cards are due to expire on the 28th February, 2010 with an extension date up to and including the 30th April, 2010.

They continued : ...the DWP are aware of the changes in the European Social Security rulings regarding the issuing of the EHIC cards. They are awaiting implementation and finalizing new processing systems before that date (30/04/2010). Once completed, they will reply in writing to each individual (and the said Social Security authorities), with a current EHIC card issued under the E121 system in Spain and Germany about the new application format and renewal instructions for these EHIC cards.

They re-iterated: . ...that the ONLINE application for EHIC cards is correct that it is states "UK RESIDENTS ONLY". Furthermore, if you have applied for an EHIC card online previously, without being on the E121 system and are a resident in another EU member state, you have committed FRAUD.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 13

WATER, WATER, EVERYWHERE Our daily need for water is highly variable, depending on individuals and the conditions of temperature, diet, exercise, sex, age, etc.

Normally, for an adult, the daily losses of water Life is water; there is no life witho ut are: 1.5 litres in urine, only 100 ml in the faeces and more than 1 litre by evaporation, water.

The fact that water constitutes about 60% of respiration and transpiration (increases in the body weight in men and about 50% in women heat and with physical exercise). is ample proof of its importance to human life.

That is, a sedentary adult in an environment In the foetus, the water is over 90% of body without excess heat and moisture, loses weight and at birth is 80%. With age the approximately two and a half litres of water per percentage of water decreases in both sexes, day, which comes from three sources: the so it is said that "life is a process of liquid you drink (about 1200 ml) from the foods dehydration." you eat (approximately 1000 ml), and You can live without food for nearly two produced within the organism as a result of months, based on reserves of fat, and through metabolism, which equals about 350 millilitres. a series of adaptive mechanisms that activate While water loss can often exceed in case of prolonged fasting, but without water, consumption, content in the body remains in less than a week death occurs. Water, being relatively stable over time and in case of essential to human life, is considered a imbalance, a new intake of fluids quickly nutrient. adjusts the water level that our body needs.

WATER: WHITE GOLD

FOOD needs.

IS A

major factor in water

routine and not trying to exceed that amount of liquid because it can damage our bodies.

The damage that can be cause by the excess of water may be irremediable. Drinking too much water in a short period of time (e.g. 5 litres of water in 2 hours) causes inflammation of the fluid in the brain cells. Untreated inflammation can result in cerebral edema and even lead to death.

Another common mistake is to visit the sauna for weight loss. After a sauna lost fluid must be replenished immediately. In addition, through a liquid electrolyte, lost salts should be replenished. The best thing for this is fruit juice, especially orange.

Do not take diuretics to lose weight. Diuretics should not be taken without the express direction of a doctor as they can cause side effects that must be controlled.

A very salty food requires heavy drinking. We must also take into account losses from diarrhoea or vomiting, and from fever that increases water loss through sweating and respiration.

That is why, except for in oil, it is a nutrient found in the composition of all the food we eat but in very different proportions. Fruits and vegetables are foods that contain the most water; 80-90% of their composition is water.

Water as a nutrient is not energy, i.e. we do not obtain calories from it, like vitamins and minerals.

Water is a truly remarkable food and is essential for life: food and gas are transported in aqueous media, waste products are expelled from the body through urine and faeces, it regulates our temperature, lubricates our joints and contributes decisively to give structure and shape the body by providing rigidity to the tissues, because this precious liquid is not compressible.

Water does not make you fat as it contains no calories. Drinking water during meals is not fattening. Drinking large amounts of water during meals is generally not recommended because it dilutes the gastric juices and can The best indication we need to drink water is slow digestion. Also, if you swallow air with the thirst. With a diet high in grains and vegetables water, this can contribute to intestinal gas cooked with water (not in the form of bread, later. which contains very little water), vegetables, SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS: fruits, broth, little meat and little salt, you will not have much thirst, unless you lose water Those with kidney stones or urinary tract through sweating. infections should drink more fluids. In case of kidney, liver, heart diseases or varicose veins, MISCONCEPTIONS and only if directed by your doctor, decrease Many people worry that they are retaining fluid intake. liquids and so do not want to drink water. But a healthy person does not retain liquids; the Infections, fever, vomiting and diarrhoea body manages to balance perfectly and if cause a rapid loss of fluids, to which the there is excess fluid it regulates itself by elderly and children are more sensitive, and which need to be replaced immediately. A increasing urine production. pharmaceutical preparation or homemade It is the opposite, the "defect of liquid", which preparation (water with a pinch of baking soda should concern us, because it is more than and a squeeze of lemon and sugar) will help likely that deficiency will result in constipation to quickly restore the necessary liquid. and more joint and tendon problems, skin looks more wrinkled and urine becomes more concentrated and dense, which then favours the formation of kidney stones and even urinary tract infections.

PLUMBING • ELECTRICS • HEATING

Water is an essential component of blood, lymph and all body fluids. All organs need it to function properly, proper hydration helps keep skin smooth and young, while acute or chronic Drinking between 1.5 and 2 litres of water dehydration causes the skin to wrinkle and is very healthy for our body, although an excess of fluid can bring deadly crack easily. consequences.

HOW MUCH WATER do we need per day?

Health specialists have always recommended drinking about two litres of water per day, which should be done throughout our daily

AIR CONDITIONING • SATELLITE TV

Nigel Morton English and Spanish Spoken N.I.E Supplied Tel: 620 353 138

Tortosa and Surrounding areas

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 14

Ageing is associated with desiccation and water loss which affects all body tissues, but especially the skin. To keep the skin young and healthy it is essential to be well hydrated. As we age we lose our thirst, so it is especially important at this time of life ensure you drink plenty of water.

GENERAL RECOMMENDATIONS:

• Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables and drinking their juice (better natural) is another way to drink water. In winter we can eat broths, soups, purees, creams and infusions, which both hydrate us and warm us.

• Canned juices and fizzy drinks are not substitutes for water because they contain many added sugars. In addition, abuse of fizzy drinks decalcifies the bones.

• Coffee, alcohol, tea and similar beverages are diuretics and increase fluid removal via urine. Beware of them.

• Heat, humidity and exercise markedly increased the water requirements of our body. If it is summer and you exercise, have an extra drink without waiting for your thirst to notify you.

GOING ON ONLINE ?

Your monthly round-up of the fun and the factual from the 'tinternet.

Ÿ

• Drink 1.5 – 2 litres of water throughout the day, preferably between meals.

One trick to remember to drink water is to have on hand a bottle of water that is refilled every day. We can start putting small goals, like a half-litre bottle daily and gradually build to a greater capacity.

General interest:

It's never too late to learn: www.iwillknot.com Eat yourself well: www.healingfoodreference.com Win friends and influence people: www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/winfriends.html Ÿ Spanish stuff: Some Spanish basics from the BBC: www.bbc.co.uk/languages/spanish Discover more about the wild side of Spain: www.iberianature.com Tapas-at-home www.spainrecipes.com/spanish_tapas.html Ÿ Bookmark these: Read FREE classic books online: www.readprint.com Read the stars thanks to the Neave Planetarium: www.neave.com/lab/planetarium Ÿ History:

Arancha Coromina Dietista-Nutricionista

Fata Morgana Restaurante Pizzeria Reservas: 977 460 707 619 757 648 Horarios: De Lunes a Domingo de 13:00 a 15:00 y de 19:00 a 23:30. Sábado mediodía cerrado

Plaza del Club Náutico 43895 L'Ampolla

WHAT'S

Entrantes Pastas Pizzas en horno de leña Carnes Pescados Menu diario

Cement your place in history: www.worldhistory.com World War 2 captured in colour photography: www.ww2incolor.com Discover your family heritage: http://www.ancestry.com/ The ever-changing face of TV: www.tv-ark.org.uk Ÿ Just for fun: Who's smarter, men or women? Do your bit for your team: www.trivialpursuitexperiment.com A little respite for any long-suffering owners of disobedient dogs: www.idodogtricks.com Try this time-reaction game where you can safely tranquillise errant sheep from the comfort of your chair: www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep Drag-and-drop twist on the Sudoku game: www.jigsawdoku.com

This round-up was bought to you

by Jamie Watson. Jamie is a freelance creative offering web design, illustration, animation and branding services, based in L'Ampolla. www.jamiewatsondesign.com

Catalonian Properties New and Resale Properties, Large/Small Farms/Coastal, River/Countryside.

We have several clients looking for your property so give us a call if you want to sell it. www.catalonianproperties.com e-mail: terry_owen1@hotmail.com Tel/Fax: (0034) 977 470 924 Mobile: 606 813 219 or 615 316 722

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 15

OUT AND ABOUT This month in ...

Sunday 31st January 2010 L’AMPOLLA BOOT SALE 10am –1.00pm Camping St Jordi Tel: 679 115 247 Friday 5th February 2010 AURA READINGS Held at the GEA Centre, Deltebre. For further information please contact Karol 649 969 499 CLASSIC CAR MEETING 6.00pm For new location and more details call 678 718 446 .

Saturday 6th February 2010 FREESIA GROUP BOOK SALE Homogenik, El Perello.

ANTIQUE MARKET 4.00pm – 8.00pm Placa Espanya, Cambrils FIESTA MAJOR DE LA CANDELERA L'AMETLLA DE MAR Various events throughout the week to celebrate the Patron Saint of L'Ametlla De Mar. Contact Information Cultura Regidoria on 977 493 754 for further details.

Sunday 7th February 2010 MORA BOOT SALE 9am – 1.30pm at C/Garcia Restaurant Braseria, Thursday 11th February 2010 INTERNATIONAL SPEAKING GROUP MEETING 6.30pm at Edificio Bahia Blanca, C/{aisos Catalans, 74, L'Ametlla De Mar. For more details please call 977 267 418 Friday 12th February 2010 THE FREESIA GROUP 4th ANNUAL ST. VALENTINE'S GALA DINNER DANCE - See advertisement CARNIVAL L'AMPOLLA 11.00am Children's Procession Saturday 13th February 2010 CARNIVAL L'AMPOLLA 5.00pm Placa Gonzalez Isla Procession and meeting of groups CARNIVAL VINAROS Large carnival procession. Further details available at www.carnavaldevinaros.org Sunday 14th February 2010 TORTOSA FRIENDSHIP CLUB 10.00am Meeting for all nationalities at Parky’s in Ravel Di Christ. Contact Brian Parkin on 660 990 422 or 977 059 911 for more info.

CHURCH OF ENGLAND CHURCH SERVICE 12.30pm L'Ampolla Village Church. Enquiries: 977 593 219 HIPACA ESCORNALBOU, VILANOVA, D’ESCORNALBOU BOOT SALE. Sellers 9 am, Buyers 10am, Bar & Restaurant - No fresh produce allowed. Contacts: Cosme on 620 215 772 or Silvia 665 159 781.

CARNIVAL VINAROS Large carnival parade and procession to close the fiesta.

Saturday 20th February 2010 FREESIA GROUP BOOK SALE Homogenik, El Perello.

Wednesday 24th February 2010 CHURCH OF ENGLAND CHURCH SERVICE 12.30pm L'Ampolla Village Church. Enquiries: 977 593 219

CATALUNYA CHRONICLE SPORT’S PAGE Ÿ Champions League last 16 All fixtures kick-off at 8:45 pm local time unless indicated.

Olympique Lyonnais v Real Madrid First leg 16 February, Second leg 10 March AC Milan v Manchester United First leg 16 February, Second leg 10 March FC Porto v Arsenal First leg 17 February, Second leg 9 March

WITH

GOCATALUNYA.COM

VfB Stuttgart v FC Barcelona First leg 23 February, Second leg 17 March Olympiacos v FC Girondins de Bordeaux First leg 23 February, Second leg 17 March PFC CSKA Moskva v Sevilla First leg 24 February (1830), Second leg 16 March Inter Milan v Chelsea First leg 24 February, Second leg 16 March

FC Bayern Munich v ACF Fiorentina First leg 17 February, Second leg 9 March

Ÿ Spanish team win the Dakar Rally

match ended 1-0 to Barça. It meant the Catalans went out on away goals following their 2-1 defeat at the Nou Camp in the first leg.

Carlos Sainz, the former World Rally Championship driver from Madrid, has become the first Spaniard to win the car classification of the Dakar rally. Sainz, along with his co-driver Lucas Cruz won the endurance driving event by a margin of just 2 minutes and 12 seconds after more than 47 hours of racing.

They were driving for the Volkswagen team which also took second and third position.

Barça got some sort of revenge in La Liga the following weekend when they won their third clash with Sevilla in less than 3 weeks by a resounding 4 goals to nil with FIFA World Player of the Year Lionel Messi scoring the last two. The result left them five points clear of Real Madrid at the top of La Liga at the time of going to press.

Ÿ Fernando loving Ferrari Fernando Alonso is said to have settled into the Ferrari team with a week’s skiing before testing starts on the teams new Formula One car, saying signing for Ferrari is ‘a dream come true’ and that it will definitely be the last F1 team he drives for. The Spanish driver went on the team bonding trip with Ferrari technicians and teammate Felipe Massa who said he had spoken more with Alonso in a week than he did with his former team-mate Kimi Raikkonen in three years. Ferrari’s new car is due to be unveiled on January the 28 with significant improvements on last year’s lacklustre model.

Ÿ Barcelona going for Gold Barcelona’s mayor Jordi Hereu has thrown the city’s hat into the ring as the venue for the 2022 winter Olympics. It’s a long shot for the Catalan capital, but if the bid is successful it would be the second time the city will have hosted the Games, after the summer Olympics of 1992, and the only city ever to have hosted both winter and summer games.

The announcement was made at Barcelona’s Olympic Museum where the mayor said, ‘We want to relive the Olympic dream’ and that events would be divided between the city and the ski stations in the Catalan Pyrenees. The bid still has to be approved by the Spanish While Alonso hit the slopes, Michael Olympic Committee who have the final decision Schumacher was taking no such chances and as to which city is put forward as Spain’s bid was already testing different suspension with the other main contender being Zaragoza. configurations and a new clutch with his new Ÿ Next Month...

Mercedes team in Jerez.

We look forward to what could prove to be the most hotly contested Formula One seasons for FC Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola said he years and kicks off with the Bahrain Grand Prix felt he had let the players down after the team on 14 March. were put out of the Copa del Rey. Despite an Tickets for all major sporting events, including excellent second half performance that had FC Barcelona tickets, La Liga tickets & Grand Sevilla against the ropes and a goal from Xavi Prix tickets are also available online at Hernandez in the 64th minute, Sevilla keeper www.GoCatalunya.com Andres Palop stopped everything else and the

Ÿ Barça out of Copa del Rey

Thursday 25th February 2010 FREESIA GROUP, EL PERELLO MEETING 12 noon – 1.00 pm at the Casa de Cultura El Perello followed by lunch at Casals Restaurant. For more information please phone Pam on 977 475 000.

Sunday 28th February 2010 L’AMPOLLA BOOT SALE As above

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 16

BODY PAINT AND BIBLES BODY PAINT

AND

BIBLES

WITHIN MINUTES THEY struck up conversation with us.

We had no escape!!

Caught off guard, but I was fascinated to understand why these three young American men were in Spain . To counter their obvious objective I love travelling, not the fact of going somewhere else, but the action to discuss The Lord, we asked them many questions on their of travelling from one place to another. My fascination is of being background, my friend and I taking it in turn to question them. anonymous, and of course the time spent “people watching”. This is often done alone, which I think is more entertaining as you are not The first thought that ran through my head was the “good cop bad cop” ploy we naturally adopted. My friend was gentle in the questioning I distracted from the serious business of observing. was not so! Why was I allowing myself to be drawn into this exchange?

Two journeys come to mind, one to the UK and one day trip to Was it that I didn’t want my religious believes to be questioned or was Barcelona .

I feeling confronted or trapped?

BY

HELEN ROWE

The UK bound trip started with the normal commotion I always achieve at airports. This is caused by the habit of wearing as much as I can to avoid carrying it or more to the point paying the dreaded extortionate fees levied by airlines.

“Excess baggage” what an awful term………nothing I carry is excess to my needs, I have never achieved the art of travelling light!

So off go the alarms, I could offer my services to test their equipment because no matter what I remove I always set the systems blaring.

After the “pat down” with nothing found to attribute to the noise I always hear myself apologise! With the current state of the world I am not complaining about these security measures I just would like to get through, just once, without this hullabaloo!

With the journey over, ahead of us the serious task of shopping. We start walking from the station in the crowds of city folks going about their business. I could not believe what I saw next, as nobody else seemed to take any notice; I began to wonder if my eyes deceived me.

“Did you see that”? “Was he wearing anything”? Not a pretty sight, just a man with clothes painted on his naked body.

To add to the amusing spectacle…………no one around me seemed to take any notice. Was I the only one to see him? Like the time in the train carriage I felt the day was going to be different, and it certainly was!

Maybe that is the reason I love travelling, you cannot control what you may encounter only how you react to it.

Then homeward bound, the UK airport tempted me with Marks and Spencer food outlet just before you go through customs control. Great idea, buy lunch, and a few presents to bring back, a thought of what RIERES ESTATE AGENT you are allowed to have in hand luggage I avoided a drink but settle PROFESSIONAL SERVICE WITH A PERSONAL TOUCH on a sandwich, fruit, biscuits etc plus English cheeses and chutneys for friends in Spain.

SO I DISCOVER this is a ploy by airport staff to get free lunches, they confiscated the lot.

Nowhere could I see on the list of banned items M&S lunch! I wanted to say “stop let me back over the barrier and I will eat it first” but the fear of not being let through to travel was greater than my hunger. I would love to know why different airports in the UK apply different restrictions, some want to see all liquids in a clear plastic bag some don’t. Some ask that shoes and belts are removed; I just adore the little blue plastic bootees you slip and slide through the scanning process in! Why no consistence, the security threat is the same?

Large portfolio of properties within 50km radius of Tortosa are you looking for a finca or villa or apartment ?

Call or email for a free guide to buying property Placa Paiolet 2 Tortosa (near the old bridge)

telephone 977445497 or 645335634 English Catalan Spanish spoken

email

cervantes@rieres.com

website www.realitypropertyspain.com

The day trip to Barcelona with a girlfriend was just as eventful for different reasons.

An unscheduled change of trains half way through the journey meant a different set of travelling companions. Sitting ourselves by the door, with an empty seat in front and two to the side, the carriage was almost full. Then, three young, smartly dressed men boarded, taking up the only empty seats.

The first oddness I noticed they all wore the same jackets and had name badges, so without further thought I assumed they were security or police. Then I saw the bibles they all started to read as we started out of the station. With an hour non stop journey to Barcelona in a full carriage, we start to realise that our travelling companions had a mission or should I say, they were missionaries.

BT .EUROKURIERE .LTD. Fast Transport all over Europe 24/48 hours service.

Special offers for regular shipments For more information send a SMS message with the word TRANSPORT to 637.937.637 and we will call you back.

Taller Gandia C.B. Official Distributor for Stihl and Viking

Sales & Repairs Trailers - Sprayers Chainsaws - Rotovators

Carrer 30, 13-15, Camarles Tel/Fax: 977 470 060

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 17

BITS AND BOBS Cheat’s Cooking Corner

M UNCHIE R OCKS The youngest son, Munchie fan número uno, is a keen gardener. He likes plants flowers and rockeries.

Before the arrival of said creature he had built a rather splendid plant filled rockery at the front of the house. It soon became apparent that the Munchie was also a gardening enthusiast. Unfortunately, it hadn’t quite grasped the fundamentals, like plants are put in the ground because they survive better there than being carried around between one’s teeth It knew that digging the soil was hugely important, because it had watched the youngest painstakingly doing that and placing the shrubs carefully in positions that best suited them.

I did not use any cheats recipe's over Christmas and it all went wrong so is there a moral here somewhere ?

Sauces for meat and fish PEPPER SAUCE Take a packet of pepper sauce and make up with milk or milk and pouring cream ground some extra pepper in to taste and if you really want to push the boat out burn off a little brandy and add ( if you do this add a little less milk ) hey presto done.

MUSHROOM SAUCE

The Munchie believed it knew better and that the plants would benefit from a good game of tug of war followed by a quick shake, while the flower beds were left looking like a lunar landscape; crater filled and ripe for nuclear attack!

A packet of mushroom sauce make up with milk or milk and cream as above saute off a few mushrooms drain on kitchen paper and add to sauce with seasoning to taste, really nice with Panga fish which has been lightly poached in a little milk and then drained.

The biggest problem for the Munchie was dismantling the rather ridiculous rocky formation we knew as the rockery-this is an ongoing labour of Munchie love- It decided the best thing to do was take it apart stone by stone, piece by piece.

And by special request for Tim who loves his garlic, not a cheat's recipe but oh soooooo simple.

If we’d been out presented us with a rock. “Ah!” The boys would say “it’s brought us a present,” There would be a very large rock in it’s mouth weighing at least a kilo carried up through the house and deposited in a bed. This would only be discovered later when the unsuspecting member of the family tried to climb in and would find there was already something lurking there hiding amongst the bed clothes. Many a time in the dead of night a shriek could be heard from someone in our house after a night on the tiles as they climbed in to a warm cuddly bed to be met by something cold damp and sharp!

It took a while to realise what this gesture of affection was in aid of. Let’s face it where we live up in the mountains the word rock is synonymous with snow from the Arctic-well it is for the moment. So it was a while before it was noticed that the rockery was only an “earthery” with a few iffy looking plants that looked like they had survived a recent meteor strike!

CHICKEN WITH FORTY CLOVES OF GARLIC Put a chicken in a roasting tin, pop a cut lemon inside the bird and throw in the roasting pan 40 unpeeled cloves of garlic, but who's counting, sprinkle over olive oil and season at your will, cover and cook for an hour ish then uncover and put back into the oven to brown, done, now this is your starter and main, have some crusty bread and scoop out the garlic and some oil into a hot dish, squeeze the garlic onto your bread and dunk,enjoy,and now you have the lovely garlicky moist chicken for your main. ( If you have any fresh herbs throw them in with the chicken and garlic at the browning stage.

SIMPLES

COMPUTER GAMES

It should be said that this did not endear the creature to its number one fan. Who has left the gardening to the Munchie.

BY THIAZZI (AGED 14)

Those brave folk who visit are aware that the Munchie is a giver of gifts and regularly provides all guests with their very own souvenir of our ex rockery. I would be very grateful that if this should happen to you when you visit, that you take the rock home with you , because I can’t fit many more on my windowsills and if I throw them outside they tend to find their way back in to the house.

Ever since I was a young boy, I have always been fascinated by the historic battles set in the times of the ancient Greeks to World War II. It is both my Grandfather's and my favourite subject and we love talking about the events of the British Redcoats ot the notorious Napoleon. He has taught me so much about all the great battles and wars.

My sister and I have contemplated making money out of them. We’re sure that there must be someone out there prepared to pay for a rock chosen by the Munchie .We can’t quite find the right marketing strategy. If you can help us in our business venture in any way; we’ll give you a free “Munchie rock” for your ideas, chosen by the creature itself. Please note sensible suggestions only!

Aged seven years, I discovered a new computer game called “Age of Empires” - a game of strategic combat, economy and culture based in ancient Rome, Greece and Egypt.

DON'T GET BOGGED DOWN WITH ALL THAT SPANISH RED TAPE! WE CAN ACT AS A PERSONAL INTERMEDIARY (VERBALLY OR WRITTEN) ON YOUR BEHALF BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SOLICITOR, YOUR SPANISH BUILDER, YOUR TOWN HALL, YOUR LOCAL POLICE AND ANYONE ELSE YOU MAY NEED IN SETTING UP YOUR NEW LIFE IN SPAIN OR SORTING OUT THE ONE YOU ALREADY HAVE. WE OFFER AN INDEPENDENT TRANSLATION SERVICE TO MEET ALL OF YOUR REQUIREMENTS. WE ALSO OFFER ONE TO ONE OR GROUP SPANISH AND ENGLISH TUITION TO CATER FOR ALL ABILITIES AT VERY REASONABLE RATES. SO IF YOU ARE ALL MANANA'D OUT AND YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW DIRECTION PLEASE CONTACT

Aged ten years, I was introduced to another similar sort of game, by a friend. Set in the mediaeval times, “Runescape”, unlike my other strategy games, was on-line, which at first, I found quite a strange concept. Runescape, however, allowed you to create a personal character and complete personal quests, whilst interacting with other players.

Three years ago, when my family relocated to Catalunya. I was able to keep in touch with all my friends through Runescape. Shortly afterwards, I discovered another game, which, like Runescape, was on-line. This was an amazing game, huge, with more players, better graphics and more options. This was “World of Warcraft” (WoW). I have been playing this game for two years now, earning skills by familiarising myself with plug-ins, macros and key-binding.

World of Warcraft is a great way to communicate with your friends by team speak or by simple typing.

DELIA ON 679 219 715 EMAIL: speakersofspanish@yahoo.co.uk (ALL NATIONALITIES WELCOME)

For more information about www.worldofwarcraft.com or www.worldofwarcraft-europe.com.

WoW,

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 18

go

to

LA COMIDA CARNIVAL

TIME

Carnival is the festive season, n o r m a l l y comprising the three days before Ash Wednesday and usually ending on Shrove Tuesday.

Typically it involves a public celebration of parade where people dress up or masquerade, to mark an overturning of daily life. It is a time for eating too, as Lent is just around the corner and abstinence will, in theory, at least, replace the excesses of Carnival.

Ash Wednesday the the first day of Lent and occurs 46 days before Easter. This year it is on the 17 February. Ash Wednesday gets its name from the practice of placing ashes on the foreheads of the faithful as a sign of repentance. The ashes used are gathered after the Palm Crosses from the previous years´s Palm Sunday are burned.

Shrove Tuesday is the day preceding Ash Wednesday when the season of fasting and prayer occur – the beginning of Lent.

In England and many other countries, the festival was widely associated with the eating of rich foods made with eggs, sugar and butter, such as pancakes. It was often simply known as Pancake Day, originally because making such foods used up ingredients such as fat and eggs, whose consumption was traditionally restricted during the fasting of Lent.

Pound the garlic to a paste with the salt, add the almonds and pound them to a paste also.

Cut the ñoras open and scraped the flesh away from the skin with a teaspoon. Add the flesh to the mortar and pound. Add bread and continue to pound.

Gradually add the oil, stirring all the time, until you have a thick red sauce. Add very hot water if it becomes too thick.

Loosen the pancake with a palette knife/spatula and flip over! Cook the second side until lightly browned and then remove from the pan. If not serving straight away, keep the pancake warm in the oven on a covered plate. Reheat the pan, re-greasing Serve drizzled over the endive leaves and as necessary and repeat with some more of accompany with as many of the following as the batter. you can manage: tuna fish, anchovy fillets, Serve as suggested above or fold and roll to black olives, octopus, salt-cod, etc. enclose a savoury ( ie, sauteed mushrooms, bacon and tomatoes with fresh basil) or other Instead of pounding using the mortar, this sweet filling. sauce could be made much quicker in a blender. Ñoras are the round dried red peppers used to make paprika pepper. You could always substitute paprika in this recipe, but we found ñoras quite easily in the local supermarkets.

PANCAKES Pancakes are eaten in great q u a n t i t i e s throughout the Carnival period.

They are made very thin (the name comes from the Latin folium, a leaf), using either butter or pork fat to grease the pan, and are sprinkled with sugar when done.

There are several variations to the basic batter, (the amoado).

It can be flavoured with anis or orange flower water or orange juice and the finished pancakes might be stuffed with cream and flamed with alcohol. We love them simply sprinkled with sugar and lemon juice or chocolate spread! Very indulgent!

In the United States, the famous Mardi Gras celebrations in New Orleans, Louisiana and Mobile, Alabama, date back to French and Spanish colonial times.

Here´s the recipe:

We heard about this salad eaten as a starter 125 g (4oz) plain flour at carnival time in the town of Vilanova I la pinch of salt 1 egg Geltru, close to Sitges.

El Xato de Vilanova Endive salad with red garlic dressing One head of endive or curly chicory, washed.

Two garlic cloves 1 tsp salt 2 dozen almonds (blanched, peeled and toasted) Three Ñoras Peppers – cut open and soaked in warm water for 30 minutes 2 oz of stale bread, without crusts, soaked in wine vinegar 7 oz of best olive oil

pan, immediately swirling the pan to coat the base with a thin layer of batter. Cook until set and small holes start to appear on the surface.

300 ml (half pint) milk or milk and water mixed (water makes the batter lighter, and milk makes it smoother) Butter or oil for greasing

Makes approx. 6 – 8 pancakes Sift the flour and salt into a large bowl.

Make a well in the centre and add the egg. Using a whisk or wooden spoon, beat the egg, drawing in the flour from the sides and slowly adding the liquid.

When the batter is smooth, heat a flat frying pan steadily until hot, but not smoking, greasing it lightly with butter or oil or both mixed. Ladle about 2 tbspoons of the mixture into the hot

Who Should Make the Tea? A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the tea each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our tea."

The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my tea.”

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides it says in the Bible that the man should do the tea."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that! Show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says, "HEBREWS."

KATCH-A-KROOK- K9s Specializing in Security and Personal Protection Dogs.

All dogs are food refusal trained, family friendly, fully vaccinated, micro chipped and passported.

Behavioural problems, training and boarding services also available.

Mobile:- 663577731 w.w.w.k9protectiondogtraining.com e-mail:-info@k9protectiondogtraining.com

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 19

A MISCELLANY TALES

THEFTS AND ROBBERIES Always report any crime to your local police station. It does help them track down the criminals.

We received an e mail from a reader who had been burgled four times and felt it would be a good idea to list some of the items which had been stolen. It may help in the future and if any other readers would like to notify us of the same, then maybe some good may come from it if items are spotted at a later date.

ARCA , the dogs´home in Tortosa had thirty large bags of food stolen on Christmas Eve and then the following day, two outdoor kennels disappeared. Obviously, very upsetting for the hard-working volunteers who look after the dogs and they would be very grateful for any donations towards buying more of the same dog food from our readers. Also if you have any spare blankets, towels, sheets, etc for the dogs to sleep on, they would be grateful to hear from you. Donations and items can be forwarded on to ARCA from Bar Estacion in L´Ampolla or you could call Mave on 678975816.

Some enterprising neighbours organised their own neighbourhood watch scheme recently and had full cooperation from the police who were very glad to help and organise signs for the road and houses. We have all our neighbours telephone numbers if we spot anything suspicious. E mails addresses could work too. We would be interested to hear readers´views on this subject and any advice or helpful information would be gratefully received.

FROM THE

RIVERBANK

In the absence of Mike Smith (no doubt still stuck at Luton airport) we would like to make mention of the scheme to rid the Lower Ebro of the Cat fish.

Rumours abound but what remains inescapably a key fact is that unless the measures taken encompass the whole river, all 928 km of it, then it will not work.

There have been reports of a two week trial in netting the river, but just how successful it was is still in doubt.

To trawl the river would be very difficult, and probably dangerous as well as ineffective and expensive, and the policy of killing all fish caught above a certain weight would certainly lessen the numbers, but not by much.

It appears to be a somewhat short-sighted concept at a time when the tourist industry is trying it’s utmost to attract visitors to Catalunya. Fewer fish would mean fewer anglers, fewer beds booked and a reduction in demand for local facilities.

A woman goes into a Bait Shop to buy a rod and reel as a present for her husband on Valentines Day. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the checkout.

There is a shop assistant standing there with dark shades on.

She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.

He says, "That's a six-foot graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10-pound test line...

Simply text:- your name, the town you live in, your email address & your date of birth to:- 600 516 603

It's a good all around rod and reel and it's €120.00."

She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's just what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

You could win: A necklace from the Vie Jewellery Collection,

He walks behind the counter to the cash register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind. At first she is embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way he could tell it was her, being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

An Aromatherapy Massage A Skin Specialist Facial Or a pamper session where you can try the latest innovations in skin care and cosmetics Ms. M. L. Wilcox Holistic Therapist, in conjunction with Vie at home.es

ARCA Association for the refuge and care of animals Situated on the C42 TORTOSA ALDEA. Are you able to help us by adopting one of our loving dogs which will enable us to carry on taking in others.

Alternatively perhaps you could help to sponsor one for a small amount per month as we currently have over 200 dogs to choose from.

We would be very grateful for any help or donations you can give to us. If so please contact:

MAVE 678975816

SUE 630791918

CARMEN 655040359.

PROTECTORA.ARCA@WANADOO.ES WWW.PROTECTORAARCA.ORG

He rings up the sale and says, "That will be €125.50."

She says, "But didn't you say it was €120.00?"

He says, "Yes Ma'am, the rod and reel is €120.00, the duck call is €3.00 and the catfish bait is €2.50.

We are an Association for the Protection of Animals, a non-profit formed by volunteers and dedicated to the protection and welfare of street cats.

We want to improve the lives of cats and the people who live there, he joined the colonies in their environment, training and advising for feeders, from those who always been dedicated to feeding and caring for cats in his neighbourhood, with a totally selfless attitude and also the welfare of these animals suffer

This advertisement appears in association with Catalunya Insurance Services.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 20

PASATIEMPOS Cryptic Crossword

Across 1 Language spoken if you lived near the Thames (7,7) 10 Two of these make a diameter (5) 11 There are seven of these, all of them fatal (6,3) 12 Off we go! Add up - hot without a cuppa. (5-2) 13 A bag of sweets that tees off badly (7) 14 Indian Governer in days gone by (5)

Easy

16 A musical gallery perhaps, instrument just below the roof (5,4)

29 Types of missives used to welcome (9,5)

19 A transducer, sorcery seeing devices (5,4)

Down

20 Dream up a plan, sit on an egg (5) 22 Quite a distance to travel to get to this green piece of land (7) 25 Cheats (3-4) 27 Wandering from Internationals removing loans (9) 28 Mollusc (5)

Medium

A P R F W C A E C G Z E A C N

P R E I P E C D T P N G P H D

E O E T A L D H I T E T X A I

R U N C R E P E I S L Y S R V

S T S H S R L L P V H E O D E

P S Y P L Y A I G O E A Y A M

C O E F E N N E L O K K A L E

H A T W Y A T G E N U R C M G

I T U A C W A A C I C R A F G

L O R H T S I R R O O T D B P

I M N K E O N L E N R X E E L

21 Bother 8 For making calls, shattered shales (6) digit solidify (7) 2 Equine carrying device, lumber with container (9) 3 Become one, another gainfully losing gall (5) 4 Branch of medical science, do oily rag (9)

15 Type of grain, a 24 Long for a dollar buys you period of time with plenty to grind (9) new leader (5) 17 Stomach 26 Food, could be complaint, tigris sat uncomforatbly tapas (5) (9)

5 Play or bring into 18 No longer in law (5) control, no longer in your grasp 6 Small bird, or (3,2,4) small bird (9) 19 Putting out, India and two

GATES RAILING

M A I Z E L E I S Q N E K A A

H T P D F E T C S Q T W G N N

C O L E K C O U R G E T T E T

23 Where a woolly mammoth would be be found now (2,3)

9 Simpleton inside secret tinformation (6)

Difficult

Word Search - Vegetables C S G S K R N T O L P U L S E

French capitals inside dynasty (7)

7 Make out an important question or topic (5)

For a free quote call Steve 659 225 068

STAIRCASES REJAS HOME SECURITY MOBILE WELDING NO JOB TOO SMALL

Bean

Garlic

Radish

Beet

Gourd

Sage

Caper

Greens

Soy

Celery

Kale

Spinach

Chard

Leek

Sprouts

Chili

Lentil

Swede

Chive

Maize

Tomato

Cole

Nettle

Turnip

Last Month’s Cryptic Solution

Corn

Okra

Yam

Courgette

Onion

Cress

Parsley

Eggplant

Pea

Across: 1 Kelp, 3 Enskying, 9 Bivouac, 10 Nepal, 11 Tango, 12 Elixir, 14 Entity, 16 Oyster, 19 Litmus, 21 Music, 24 Swift, 25 Ice over, 26 Ringtone, 27 Grid.

Endive

Plantain

Fennel

Potato

Fitch

Pulse

NIE Approved

Stephen y b s rk o w n o Ir

Snaith

Email:max.snaith@yahoo.com

Down: 1 Kibitzer, 2 Liven, 4 Nicker, 5 Kanji, 6 Imprint, 7 Gull, 8 Put out, 13 Brick red, 15 Tuition, 17 Yammer, 18 Assign, 20 Motet, 22 Sever, 23 Tsar.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 21

INFORMATION Que? Monthly look at some differences between Catalan and Spanish words English Evening (before dark) Lunch Afternoon Tea Evening Meal perhaps/maybe instead of the hour/time as usual work/job open closed soon February

Spanish la tarde el almuerzo la merienda la cena quizas en lugar de la hora como siempre el trabajo abierto/a cerrado/a pronto febrero

Catalan el vespre el dinar el berenar el sopar potser en lloc de L'hora com sempre la feina obert/a tancat/ada aviat febrer

Advertising Rates To advertise in the next edition of the Catalunya Chronicle we would need your copy before the 10th of February 2010.

Personal Classified Ads are FREE up to a maximum of 35 words, and subject to a maximum sales value of €1000.

Classified Section FOR SALE Mitsubishi Pajero 2.5TDi €1800 1993 SWB RHD . Spanish Registered, ITV until Jan 2011 Taxed.

Good reliable runner View Camarles.

Telephone 977059146 mobile 670026426 FOR SALE Dining Table and Chairs €390 o.n.o.

Dark wood dining table with 4 brown real leather chairs for sale. Perfect condition, hardly used - can deliver Miami Playa 977262697 buckleyalicia1@gmail.com FOR HIRE All types of Agricultural Work undertaken by experienced farmer.

Trees sprayed and pruned.

Land Cleared Help with Livestock.

Has own tractor.

No job too small.

Call Davide on 680 150 309 (Spanish) or 636 292 568 (English)

Business Classified ads start at €15, subject to size.

Whether you have your artwork or not, included in the price we offer a design service and we will endeavour to match your requirements.

FOR SALE Dismantled pergola & carport means a quantity of pine .€150 total (or separate lots) 3m x90x45mm + 4 supports 2.2m x90x90mm.

Approx 20 sq.m decking, 220 plastic roof tiles,2 large sheets MDF, 10m gutter Telephone 670395754 FREE TO GOOD HOMES Alsatian Cross Puppies Ready now to leave their mother Please call 680 150 309 (Spanish) WANTED Long wheel based van not necessarily road worthy but a runner Call 977059875 or 689 354 898 FOR SALE High sided Trailer €350 100cm X 100cm X 70cm incl. spare wheel and cover.

Inside base wood covered.

Ideal for building materials, olives, carobs etc Tel 977473008 or 652995723

The cost of advertising is €0.80 per square centimetre, and there is a 10% discount for a six month run. This price includes IVA ( at 16%).

Let people know you are in business - can you afford not to?

The Catalunya Chronicle C / Martirs 6, 43500, Tortosa, Tarragona, Spain.

Website: www.chroniccat.com email: info@chroniccat.com Telephone: 636 292 568 & 977 058 934

reproduced without consent from the paper.

written

The Catalunya Chronicle cannot be held responsible for the contents of the articles supplied by it’s contributors, nor for the claims made by it’s advertisers.

Trademarks and Copyright are held by their respective owners.

We would like to thank all our contributors, article writers and advertisers for all their fabulous support.

Copyright © The Catalunya No part of this document may be Chronicle 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Deposito Legal: T-1528-2009 Circulation: 3,000 this month Printed by: Mortons Print Ltd. Tel: 01507 529295

No minimum order

See us at the following venues:

www.littlebritain24-7.com email: enquiries@littlebritain24-7.com TELEPHONE TIM OR ELISA ON 696 894 134 FOR FURTHER DETAILS

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 22

CLASSIFIED SECTION Personal MUSIC LESSONS, Miravet Teacher: Jennifer Anne Figuerola, (English) Piano, keyboard, violin, Theory of Music Royal Associated Board Examinations possible Individual half hour lesson plus 15 mins aurals 10€ Tel: 977407540/654875163 FOR SALE Baby’s Pram €200 Brand New, can be used as baby car seat, pram and then pushchair, three in one. Dark orange and grey, perfect condition.

Miami Playa 977262697 buckleyalicia1@gmail.com NOT COPING? CONFUSED, UPSET, GOING MAD? COUNSELLING Person-centred, Bereavement, Family Therapy, Drink, Relationship, Sexual problems....

I am here to help: Jennifer Anne Figuerola, BA, Honours Psychology, Dip. Counselling Individual, personal, confidential hourly sessions, 20€, initial consultation 10€, MIRAVET Tel: 977407540 / 654875163 FOR SALE Baby’s Large Crib €70 on wheels(can be wheeled around the house) made in Germany, comes with lemon dressing Miami Playa 977262697 buckleyalicia1@gmail.com FRENCH AND GERMAN LESSONS, MIRAVET Teacher: Jennifer Anne Figuerola, P.G.C.E. and T.E.F.L, Professional Teacher of MFL; Modern Foreign Languages Revision for exams, Conversation practice, structured, developmental tuition, lessons tailored to suit the individual's needs.

One hour 10€.

Tel: 977407540 or 654875163 FOR SALE Trace & Invertor Charger 1.5 KVA Very Good Condition 490 Euros ono.

Telephone 650 318 700

BACKACHE? VARICOSE VEINS? FROZEN SHOULDER? TENNIS ELBOW? FEEL THE RELIEF MULTI-LEVEL THAI MASSAGE A drug-free procedure, suitable for men, women or children.

Initial consultation 20€; Subsequent individual treatments, 30€ Contact Floreal Figuerola in Miravet: 977407540 675071794

FOR SALE Skyhawk 250cc Quad Bike €1350 Black. Road legal, not registered, documents available. 1,500 km View Mora d Ebre.

Telephone 669 079999

FOR SALE Baby's Pink Bath and Changing Mat €60 on a stand with wheels and shelves so that all is at hand, also has pipe fixed to bath for easy emptying Miami Playa 977262697 buckleyalicia1@gmail.com

View Mora d Ebre.

Telephone 669 079999

PICK YOUR OWN CITRUS FRUIT Pick your own Xerta Satsumas and oranges for just 1 Euro per carrier bag Tel 977 473278 for directions

WANTED Looking to rent ideally a three bedroom house, suitable for family, with caretaking and maintenance duties considered.

Tortosa Area.

Please Call 630 533 548.

FOR SALE 1998 Ford Escort 1.8 Turbo Diesel van. LHD. Uk reg.

MOT & Taxed. Originaly from Portugual.

Excellent looking van.

Serviced & cam belted. van in Uk. but can deliver to Catalunya. based L`Ametlla de mar. £1695 or euros. email peter@iisupport.com for photo`s. call 0044 (0)1268 763424.or text 0044 (0)7860 299319 FOR SALE Motorbike - Suzuki 50 cc Yellow Spanish reg. price 275 euro . tel 637.937.63

Home Massage L’Ampolla Area ~ Therapeutic ~ ~ Relaxing ~ ~ Thai Massage ~ ~ Shiatsu ~ Call Fina 669 110 719 Only €30

FOR SALE Electric Cement Mixer €150 two years old. Privately owned had little use. Cost over 300€

WANTED Musicians wanted for male and female vocalists, keyboard, lead guitar,rythm etc. Influences Rock, Country, Stones, Quo, Diamond. Jam sessions with view to Gigging.

Phone Peter 977473008 or 652995723 FOR SALE Generator automatic start/stop due to battery charge. From 999€+IVA Viggo Peetz 644 24 3415 / vpeetz@gmail.com

NVQ 3 Qualified Care Worker Available for home help / respite care

Diagnosed with Cancer? or had Cancer in the past?

We are a support group who meet once a month & keep in touch to share, care & support each other.

Contact Charlotte cancershock@yahoo.co.uk or 622 553446

Do you have any building or odd jobs which need finishing, starting or you may just need help with?

Looking for an honest, reliable and hard working person at reasonable rates Just call 693790552 and ask for Nina.

Camarles/L’Ampolla region.

For all your baking requirements i.e. scones, quiches etc. come & see us at Miravet Saturday Market.

I am also a reliable, competent cleaner who is available for work within the surrounding area of Miravet & am able to offer a dogsitting service in my own home .

FOR ALL ENQUIRIES PLEASE CALL SUE ON 690 783 990

FOR SALE Vauxhall Movano 2.2 DTi SWB 2800kg Van RHD not LHD. 2001 51 reg.

MOT July 2010 Can taxed if required.

Excellent looking van. Tow Bar. 100K+. based L`Ametlla de mar. £2495 or Euros. can email photo`s. peter@iisupport.com phone 0044 (0)1268 763424

Earn yourself some extra €€´s Not harvesting olives Not cleaning villas For more information Call : 636 292 568 or 696 894 134 Email:editor@chroniccat.com or write to us at C / Martirs 6, 43500, Tortosa

FOR SALE Panasonic Digital TV 28 €70 ono Silver 5 years old L’Ampolla Area Phone 977 460 043 FOR SALE Petrol driven water pump Offers 4" bore. Static unit - buyer to collect. Any reasonable offer considered.

Telephone 669 079999

Also 24/7 house/pet sitting

Property

El Perello/L'Ampolla/ Tortosa & Amposta areas Contact Hazel on 638430338 hazeearnest@hotmail. com or for Vinaros/Benicarlo call Dot on 600564097 FOR SALE Studer inverter 12 volts.

2 years old new price 1850 euro s. price 975 euro s.

Tel: 637.937.637 FOR SALE Keyboard Technics SX KN 7000 .

5-6 years old hardly used.

New price was 4000 euro s complete with standard , bag etc. price 1250 euros. tell 637.937.637

FOR SALE TOWN HOUSE, MIRAVET Ideal B&B 4 ensuite double bedrooms Roof Terrace,Garage 275 000€ Tel: 977407540/ 675071794

TO RENT MORA D´EBRE. Traditional village house.

Ideally sleeps 2 but can sleep 4.

Small courtyard, terrace and balcony. Part-furnished.

Close to shops, river and mountains.

3 month 1100€/6 months 2200€.

Tel: 977414188/670287358

FOR SALE DREAM CONVERTED BARN, DORDOGNE, FRANCE 3 beds/2 bath/2 reception, one with huge fireplace, garden, well,.....

Bargain, 275 000€ Tel: 977407540/654875163 FOR SALE Finca of 4 journales in Filato, Camarles.

Good location with casa.

Two bedrooms, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, garage etc.

Has Olive and Carob trees.

Good price.

Tel: 626 111 368 TO LET 2 bedroomed apartment in Alfara de Carles available for long let from January.

Shared garden. No pets or very young children. €295 per calendar month plus electricity at cost 977 267 526 / fincatony@gmail.com

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 23

THE FINAL WORD Some where on the Costa Dorada, a mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it.

The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque." "Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster.

He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, climbs down the bar, runs across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing a tune. And the hamster is really good.

The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano."

The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Money or another miracle, or else no drink", says the bartender.

The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer.

A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him €300 for the frog. The guy says, "It's a deal."

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her new class that in Spanish, unlike in the English language, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' .. 'Pencil', however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'? Instead of giving the answer, the teacher set up a challenge and split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was also asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your money on accessories for it.

Well! The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to plug them in and switch them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that had you waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.

Couple of Quickies The bidding at an auction house was proceeding furiously Auctioneer suddenly announced

when the Chief

He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.

“A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars. If returned, he will pay a reward of two thousand dollars.

The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

There was a moment’s silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a cry: “Two thousand five hundred”

"Not so", says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist." ...

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

******

"Yes, sir," the clerk replied.

"That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

PANELS / WIND TURBIN R A L ES SO EXPLO ESPAÑA We supply complete installations – direct import.

ESTATE AGENTS

We go that extra mile to ensure your move runs smooth!

Solar Panels 800W, Regulator, Inverter, Batteries 3.950€ Wind Turbine 500W, Regulator, cables. Tower 1.950€ Generator diesel aut. start/stop/charger/inverter 1.590€ Incl. IVA delivered Camarles www.notjustolives.com/explo Mobil:644 24 3415 / vpeetz@gmail.com

URGENTLY WANTED - PROPERTIES FOR SALE IN L’AMPOLLA & L’AMETTLA DE MAR

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 5 February 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 24