Issue 6 March 2010 Catalunya Chronicle

The Catalunya Chronicle An English Paper for Tarragona and beyond....

FREE every month ~ suitable for all the family.

Welcome to our March issue - we hope that you will enjoy it. We are very pleased to announce that we are now being printed in Spain - Lleida, which will give us a little more time to prepare each month.

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ONCE UPON A TIME...

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MORA D'EBRE , THE RIBERA D'EBRE REGION AND A BRIEF GLIMPSE INTO THE LIVES OF TWO BRITISH RESIDENTS. Jennifer Figuerola Standing proudly on the banks of the Ebro and framed by the famous arched bridge, Mora d'Ebre has evolved into a bustling market town of 5000 inhabitants, its commodities serving many of the surrounding villages and hamlets.

Somehow there is a completely different atmosphere to any of the coastal resorts; yes there are plenty of bars and cafés, but the main focus is on the community and its needs, giving the town more of a sense of 'normality'. Of historical interest, there is an Islamic castle and a convent, 'Les Mínimes'.

Broadcast it!

Inside This Month Readers Letters Tales from the Riverbank Pets Short Story

The parish church of St John the Baptist is beautifully preserved. Like most settlements along the river, boats or canoes can be hired to meander up and down to see the scenery at its best with the backdrop of the mountains and the birds of prey circling overhead.

Ice without the Gin and Tonic

Other settlements in the region include Riba-Roja d'Ebre, La Palma d'Ebre, Flix, Vinebre, La Torre de L'Español, Ascó, Garcia, Darmós, La Serra d'Almos, Llaberia, Benissanet, Miravet, Ginestar, Tivissa and Rasquera. Mora d'Ebre is situated in the centre of the Ribera d'Ebre region, and as such is the region's capital.

Whats On

Directly across the river stands the smaller town of Mora La Nova, which came into being after the train station was built. The first train to stop at the station, from Reus, destination Zaragoza, was on 8 April, 1891. Gradually the town grew until becoming a municipality independent of Mora D'Ebre. The manor house, 'Mas de la Coixa', is an emblem of the town's origins. It has also become very well-known for hosting the annual agricultural fair.

Mora d'Ebre hosts the annual 'Casafir', every September.This is a hunters` fair, with archery, gundogs, displays, birds of prey , police dog displays and obstacle courses for dogs.

For Kath and Gary Jordan, this is their third year actually living in Mora dÈbre, just outside the town. They looked around the area for a couple of years before settling and absolutely love the area. They have around 11 large olive trees and 15 smaller ones, and Gary has just become the proud owner of half a very smart yellow tractor, with which he is clearing the land for more trees and other vegetables.

They moved here to be closer to their son and his family and have gradually filled their lives to the full. They love the fact that they don't live on the coast and are bombarded by tourists every summer, yet the coast is a mere 25 mins drive away when they do want to go.

Beer is cheaper inland too!

Whats Online

Sports Reviews Growing Nicely Community News Health La Matanca Food Puzzles Information Classified Ads The Final Word and more....

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 1

ONCE UPON A TIME...(CONTD) Gary often wanders down to Club Nautica by the river in Mora. It's one of his favourite dog walks, as there is a fabulous park there and surprisingly not well frequented, so boxer Nancy is free to roam to her heart's content. Gary loves walking and motorbiking along the river route and Kath takes spanish lessons and is a member of the ladies' group, Tiara, useful for all expats to get together for all sorts of reasons!

They have found the locals very friendly, with granddaughter Maisie providing a useful way of integration, as they met a lot of locals when taking her to school. Their spanish neighbours, Teresa and Pasqual Blanch and their children Rut, Isaac andMario, have been great despite the language barrier and are now firm friends. Mora hosts festivals throughout the year, which they enjoy, in fact the only gripe, if there is one, is the lack of live music in the area.

There is a Meander area, around 5 km of protected river, with a river island below Flix castle. The area is rich in wildlife, both for nesting and migration and there have been sightings of more than 200 bird species. In 1175, King Alfonso gave a donation to the knight Español de Prades, and the settlement was apparently thus named La Torre de L'español.

High up in the hills, the village is rich in history, but a word of advice if you decide to visit, make it during the milder months. It can be bitterly cold in winter, with howling, relentless and very unforgiving winds, which are infinitely

The municipality of Tivissa comprises the four towns of Tivissa, La Serra d'Almos, Darmós and Llaberia. Tivissa itself has a rich historical heritage. There is the Iberian city of Castellet de Banyoles and the cave paintings of the Font Vilella ravine.

It is perhaps the most picturesque of all the settlements, with houses set onto the cliffs and along the river, all with a story to tell. The ferry is an interesting way to approach the village, and the main square sits prettily on the riverside.

Returning to the subject of the historical attracitons of the region, I have simply provided an idea of what is where; a taster to prompt any interested parties to delve more deeply.

Ginestar houses the remains of one of the oldest towns in Cataluña, the ravine of Gàfols, built in the 7th century B.C. The church of Saint Marti, clearly visible from the road was built in the 18th century, as well as the Sant Isidre Hermitage, built in 1617, on the outskirts.

I begin with Riba-Roca. Historical sources in Riba-Roja date back to Neolithic times, as there are still remains of a settlement there, and other later remains of a Roman settlement. Parts of the ancient fortress are still there and the church, Sant Bertomeu dominates the square.

Flix is also of medieval origin, located on a hill overlooking the river Ebro. Industry has always been prominent here, principally the hydroelectric power station and the dam. Yet there are also many interesting historical features, namely the castle remains and the gothic temple of Santa Maria . Nearby is the Sebes Wildlife and Nature Reserve of some 204 hectares. It includes the nature area of Sebes, located above the dam, which has one of the largest reedbeds in Cataluña and a riverine forest.

Darmós is an Arabic name, and although the church is beautiful, renovated in 1810, the main focus of the settlement is the Mata tree dominating its surroundings. It is a unique species and featured on the Darmós coat of arms.

The oldest, smallest hamlet of all, Llaberia, lies 23km NW of Tivissa. From the hills above, some 912m, it becomes clear that this area dominates the Tarragona plains. The Romanesque church is surrounded by fountains, making it memorable and unique. Miravet, with the Knight's Templar castle at the head, overlooking the village below, is steeped in history over many years of battles and strife.

A musician himself, Gary finds this frustrating, but intends to investigate the problem further and actually do something about it. So watch this space for news of a venue with live music from the mandolin, banjo, guitar, bass guitar and violin.

Too good to miss!

The hamlets Santa Madrona and Berrús are nearby and definitely worth a visit. At La Palma d'Ebre, the church of Santa Maria dates back to the 12th century, and it has recently been renovated. The village was built under the protection of the magnificent 'Pi del Pino', a gigantic pine tree, now itself protected by Cataluñan law. It is literally situated a hundred metres to the north along an old pathway, the Granadella lane. In the Town Hall, on the ground floor, there is an ancient medieval prison. Just on the outskirts there is 'Font Vella', an ancient fountain of Arab origin.

of Santa Magdalena, protected by a huge boulder, which is directly above it. The views from here are breathtaking.

incompatible with wandering around and making a day of it, and most certainly if you brave it to the top of the Torno, where the views are stunning across most of the towns and villages of the whole Ribera d'Ebre region.

There is the Horta fountain, of Roman origin, and the Torrent fountain and the church is Neoclassical with beautiful detail in Baroque style.

For a little place, it certainly holds its head up high in terms of historical interest.

Another town in the region with historical roots dating back to Neolithic times is Ascó. The streets are incredibly narrow in places, and overflowing with signs linking it to its Moorish history. Several Iberian settlements have been discovered in the surrounding area, and again, it is dominated by the classicist church, with a tower and a belfry.

Garcia is another settlement in the region, sitting on the confluence of the rivers Ebro and Siurana.

There's a large recreational area on the river banks popular with visitors for the natural beauty of the surroundings. The old church, although destroyed in the Civil War, is still standing and worth a look. Also of local interest is the hermitage

Finally, Rasquera, last but certainly not least to be mentioned, has two distinct parts. The town, ancient, with a centre that conserves the structure of a closed-in village surrounding a castle, and then the land. Local artisans handcraft their work using boxwood and palm, and in the Cardó mountain range, there is a yew forest.

Skimming through all of the above, for anyone interested in the history of the region, it seems that you could well have more than a few interesting days out ahead, exploring the villages and hamlets at your leisure. Only one thing left to say really:

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Tortosa and Surrounding areas

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 2

CARTES A L'EDITOR Readers Letters - to the Editor Please address your letters to:- The Catalunya Chronicle , C/ Martirs 6, 43500, Tortosa, or alternatively you may email them to letters@chroniccat.com All letters must contain a contact telephone number - thank you.

READERS CALLS INTO THE E DITOR , REGARDING THE EHIC CARDS We have had two calls regarding the EHIC one last week, and one today, which have passed over to you (Rosie Ray) as our 'EHIC expert'.

Jean & Ken rang to say they have received a letter from the UK saying that they are no longer covered should they travel outside of Spain. They are pensioners, resident in Spain and registered disabled. Apparently, as their pension is paid from the UK then Spain will no longer pay for their medical insurance 'abroad'.

The post-bag started to fill up - many thanks to everyone who wrote in.

All submissions must be received by the 18th of the calendar month to ensure publication for the following issue.

Spanish or Catalan Social Security body application form by the end of March 2010, your card should arrive before the new (INSS). regulations come into force.

Now, I do not know for sure if this is the letter to which you refer and wondered if you have If you are not a national of an EU member received an additional one. (** Jean and Ken) state, or you live in Iceland, Liechtenstein, Norway or Switzerland, then the country Nevertheless, I will proceed, but please do where you live will remain responsible for call me directly or text me on +34 619 772 issuing your EHIC. In these circumstances, 492 or email me directly at please contact the authorities in your country RosieReay@FodenPress.com so we may of residence. discuss your issues and alleviate your For more information please call the concerns.

Overseas Healthcare Team on 0191 218 Primarily, the online updated information 1999.>>>>> reads as quoted below.

On another UK government's Note:- it is interesting at this stage (in front of website the following comment the above mentioned MED letters of 28-01states: 2010 being issued) that they cautiously use the verb "may".

Their telephone number is xxx xxx <New EU regulations from May 1 2010 > xxx(removed for privacy) they seem to be very confused by the line the UK is taking. http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Healthcarea broad/Pages/EUregulations.aspx I am passing this on as I have no real knowledge of the issue.

Due to changes in European Union regulations, from May 1, 2010 the United Also had another call from a Mr. Sharpendale Kingdom may be responsible for the issue of with what appears to be a similar problem. your European Health Insurance Card instead Rosie Reay replies to the telephone of the member state where you live. queries following on from the article on This will apply if you are a national of an EU EHIC changes in the December issue and member state and live in an EU member reply to a 'write-in' in the February issue state, and you either: :receive your state pension or other long-term Firstly, Jean and Ken I have tried several benefit from the UK and you have registered times to call the number supplied only to be the form E121 with the health authorities in informed by the kindly Spanish lady the member state where you live; or answering that she had no idea who you were but would be very pleased to chat to me all you are dependent on a citizen working in the day. So I endeavour to answer your enquiry UK and have registered the form E109 issued as best I can on updated information I have by the UK and the standard run of the mill letter issued, as promised, by the Overseas Healthcare You will need to send your application by Team to "him indoors" dated 28th Janaury post. An application form, along with an 2010. (My elderly mother too received the explanatory letter, will be posted to you during February 2010. This application form will be same letter.) different from the EHIC application form However, each person's reference number available in the UK, and will be modified to on the letter "MED is followed with a 6 figured prove your entitlement to the new UK-issued number" and the enclosed eco-green postal EHIC card. application form is unique to that person's E121 form that has been registered with These cards will be sent out from April 2010 onwards. If you return your completed

<NEW EU REGULATIONS > If you live in another European Union member state, and the United Kingdom covers the cost of your healthcare, the UK may be responsible for the issue of your European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) from May 1, 2010.

Secondly, the standard letter issued below is the very latest information available:< the MED letter of the 28th January, 2010issued by Carol Shotton Business Manager> The key paragraph reads: **(Jean & Ken) < Due to changes in EC regulations, from 1 May 2010 the United Kingdom, as the member state responsible for payment of your pension, will also be responsible for issue of your EHIC instead of the member state where you are now living.

If you wish to apply for an EHIC you should complete the enclosed application form and return it in the enclosed envelope. Please ensure you complete all fields and refer to the notes and examples on the form to aid completion.

The application form contains your personal details and is not transferable. Applications can only be made by post at the present time.

The cards will start to be issued by the NHS

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 3

LETTERS CONTD Business Services Authority in April 2010 and can be used from 1 May 2010. Please note that if you have any dependent children under the age of 16 a separate letter and application form will be issued.> I strongly suggest you should complete it and return it even if you have no definite plans for travel in the EU outside of Spain. You never know when you may need to go quickly.You cannot at this stage apply online.Only via 'snail' mail and once they issued them it can take 2 weeks to reach you as DWP post may be sent via Ireland, Malta or Switzerland for onward despatch. I kid you not!

regardless of whether you are covered by your EHIC. This is because the EHIC does not cover all situations in which you might find yourself. For example, it will not cover the cost of your journey back to your country of residence if you need to be sent home.>

gov.uk # Letter to the address above.

Their written reply may save you anguish at a later date, whereas a telephone call is no proof of what you are covered for!

I trust this information is helpful to you all. If you are listed as a dependent spouse on the E121 form then you should have received an independent letter and form. If not write off straight away for it, cross referencing in to your spouse's MED number and both of your National Insurance numbers. You must apply <Each country has different rules about state separately and have your own card! medical provision. In some countries treatment Without due prejudice.

But read the next paragraph with caution. is free but in others you will have to pay part or all of the cost and then claim a full or partial RosieReay@FodenPress.com They continue:refund. If you do incur expenses during a visit Sent in by one of our readers .. Female < The EHIC will cover any medical treatment you may be able to claim a refund by we think that becomes necessary during your trip contacting: because of either illness or an accident, or in Top 10 Things Only Women Understand relation to some pre-existing conditions.The Overseas Healthcare Team card gives access to state - provided medical The Pension Service 10. Why it's good to have five pairs of treatment only and you will be treated on the Room TC001 black shoes. same basis as an 'insured' person living in Tyneview Park Whitley Road the country you are visiting.> 9. The difference between cream, ivory, Newcastle-upon-Tyne and off-white.

I would recommend that you attach a NE98 1BA separate letter with your green MED form England 8. Crying can be fun. stating any pre-existing medical conditions you have and ask for written confirmation that Tel:-44 191 218 1999 (Monday to Friday 7. Fat clothes. you are in fact covered for those conditions. 8am-5pm, UK time)> 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge Then the reply you receive, always take a sundae make a balanced lunch.

However, any telephone calls I would suggest copy of it with your card. I find that statement you take a note of the contact person and rather worrying!

5. Discovering a designer dress on the follow it up by: clearance rack can be considered a peak We proceed further as nothing is ever straight life experience. # Fax:0044 191 218 7376 forward with these 'bods':# Email: <You are advised to take out private travel overseas.healthcare@thepensionservice.gsi. 4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. insurance before you go to another country More expense for the Expats to incur! The next paragraph I have emailed them about for detailed and precise confirmation of what each country in the EU will cover. We never know when we may wish to visit or take a different road, rail or air route back to old Blighty.

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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 4

LES MASCOTES SHELTER PAW PRINTS ...

Pets leave Paw Prints on your Heart In this section we present 3 shelter animals each month, who are ready for adoption and in search of a good home.

Shelter Favorite Mimi is a 2 year old spayed female. She's a lovely dog and gets along with anything and everything. She loves to play and be cuddled and would make a great family dog. Mimi may not be the prettiest dog to look at, but she sure makes up for it in sweetness! Her dream is to find a safe warm caring home with lot's of attention.

Shelter Ambassador The 1 year old Momo is this months shelter ambassador. When he was first brought in to the shelter he was extremely scared. He had been badly mistreated. He's a sweet dog who gets along great with children and other dogs. He seems to have lost his faith in humans and is looking for a good new home where he can gradually gain back his confidence. Momo's perfect new home would be any place with love and patience.

Shelter May-Day Rico is a beautiful German Shepard Mix. He's young.

Only about 1 year old. This beautiful animal came to the shelter through the police, and sadly nothing is known about his past. Rico is this month's shelter emergency because he's too scared to adapt well to the shelter surroundings. Though he's big in size, the other dogs in his free-run pen pick on him and have pushed him to the lowest ranks. He's getting more scared by the day and is beginning to wither away.

Rico desperately needs to find a home of his own, with a responsible loving owner, who can help him restore the confidence that this type of dog should have.

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If you are interested in one of these animals, please visit the no kill animal shelter "Alberg d'animals de les Terres de l'Ebre" in Camarles. Saturday and Sunday mornings 9:00 - 12:00 there are english speaking volounteers present. currently the shelter does not have regular opening hours, so please call before visiting to avoid disappointment. Directions: On the N340 between L'Aldea and Camarles take the entrance road next to the big red Estrella Dam building, at km 1089.5.

From here, call the shelter at 619848778 and they will explain how to continue. www.albergdanimals.com

C/Deu, 21, Camarles Tel: 636292568 (English spoken) www.martiqueral.es info@martiqueral.es NIF Supplied

What happend to our shelter buddies from last month? Did they make a lasting impression? Did they manage to leave their Paw Prints all over your hearts? Who was adopted and who hasn't found their soulmate yet?

Sadly, none of our 3 shelter dogs have been adopted. They are still waiting for that one person to give them a second chance at life, with a caring loving new home. Hopefully a small reminder of their loyal faces will spark a love with one of our readers and still lead to adoption. Bello, Lila, and Sita.

See us at the following venues:

ARCA Association for the refuge and care of animals Situated on the C42 TORTOSA ALDEA. Are you able to help us by adopting one of our loving dogs which will enable us to carry on taking in others.

Alternatively perhaps you could help to sponsor one for a small amount per month as we currently have over 200 dogs to choose from.

We would be very grateful for any help or donations you can give to us. If so please contact:

MAVE 678975816

SUE 630791918

CARMEN 655040359.

PROTECTORA.ARCA@WANADOO.ES WWW.PROTECTORAARCA.ORG

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 5

TALES FROM THE RIVER EBRO VALLEY BY

ROSIE REAY

NEVER TOO OLD TO TACKLE ANOTHER LANGUAGE! For years I have been put off by other Expats about taking up Catalan. Oh how I wish I had not listened to them and started studying it seriously many years afore. Now I am older, the brain is rustier and I have to now study harder and longer. Continually pushing myself daily to find something in Catalan, outside my designated homework period, to not just pick and scan or discard because it looks too difficult.

The beauty of committing to learning another language is so exhilarating. A form of escapism for me from my daily 24 hour Care Duties for 2 family members, (I put my hands up to this. I am guilty of this.)

But it is more than that! It has given me something to focus on, a purpose, a chance to motivate the intellect locked away for far too long in my dormant brain.

It has enabled me to think past today, to live instead of just exist as I have done for all of 2009. I could not then think past the 24 hours schedule I was locked into. I couldn't think about tomorrow. I dare not think about the day after, let alone "Have I done my Catalan homework for next lesson?" I feel I can start to hope again.

Catalan studying has restored direction back into my life, irrespective of what the future holds for me. Furthermore, even after just 4 lessons (yes, just four ...quatre classes) I find it easier to read medical instructions and signs. But the specialists and nurses are only too please also to help me and explain what certain medical terms are in Catalan.

Admittedly, I do have a somewhat grasp of "Espanyol" But soon you see the correlation of certain words and phrases are similar, if not the same, but just a twist on the pronunciation or the suffix is different. Those years, many moons ago when I sat bored in GATES RAILING

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a hot classroom, with African sunshine Some people learn the swear words first. I beating in through the windows, yawning think it is far more fun to learn phrases! away as Mother Superior droned on and on, Gracies a Valerie. trying to drum Latin verb declensions into me, The first word I learned off Catalan is finally paying off!

TV was " Avui " - meaning Today, and the programme is similar to All of the above is happening because I have the Yorkshire regional channel, found the most delightful teacher. A lady who where they pop up in local shares my passion for all things linguistic, but villages, as well as covering the the mistress of many Romance languages entire region of Catalunya. tucked under her belt. What is more amazing is my professora lives within strolling distance d'la meva casa and I didn't even know until a Other methods of picking up Catalan is just friend happened to drop it into conversation! to switch on Radio Tortosa while you do the household chores or munch your breakfast.

Aside: Kerren Stephens BA Hons( Just an hour each day and you will be amazed University of Southampton) how quickly you pick up the local accent on CertTEFLA. English-Catalathese words - aquestes paraules- They suddenly start to mean something or become Castellano-Francais = translator, clear enough for you to look them up in a interpreter and teacher. +34 618 571 diccionari or be able to repeat them ad hoc 233 to a neighbour and ask them what they do This past week has been very exciting for mean.

Valerie Collins and Theresa O'Shea co- Local agenda de Jesus: authors of "In the Garlic" who were interviewed on Spanish channel 6 26, 27 i 28 de febrer http://www.buenafuente.lasexta.com/inicio XV Fira de l'Oli de les terres de l'Ebre. by the popular host Andre Beunafuente. If you missed it you can see them on YouTube X Concurs de Pintura de Jesus in two sections: A local Ebro Valley olive oil fiesta held in Jesus just off the C12 on the outskirts of 1. # http://www.buenafuente.lasexta.com/arti Tortosa and exhibitions of local artists and culos/ver/entrevistas/191/dos_inglesas_ other stall holders. A very interesting 3 day and night event. preocupadas_por_la_burrocracia/138 781 A method of learning Catalan, though less amusing, is to loan your sons your car over 2. # http://www.buenafuente.lasexta.com/arti the festive season and then have to go and culos/ver/entrevistas/191/frases_typical_ sign for a certified letter (long after they have returned to the UK) sent to you from Municipi: spanish_traducidas_al_ingles/138783 Tortosa that reads - Estacionar un vehicle en While chatting with Valerie this week I asked zona de parquimetre, sense l'obtencio' previa if she could share some amusing or helpful del ticket...Import a pagar: 21,00 euro. phrases in Catalan. She charmingly obliged.

Changing holiday-maker trends "Well, of course there's the famous one 'Anem per feina' -let's get down to work.

Folk in the UK are starting to think about holidays abroad and the enquiries are filtering Most of my favourites I learned from the TV3 through to us at www.BrighterSpain.com. soap operas!

However, it is a buyers market and we are # És un tros de pa - He/she's a piece of bread. Meaning = a lovely person, easy to persuade, a soft touch Roseann Brighter # Són quatre gats.- (They are four cats).

Meaning = Very few people. # Aixó son figues d'un altre paner - (That's figs from another basket). Meaning = That's something very different. That's another kettle of fish. "

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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 6

TALES CONTD... fish (ladies and kids may wish too also) or the ladies may wish to "trawl the markets " and an evening meal in and around the town or villages where you are spoilt for choice in menus. Possibly taking a couple of days out One example was for 375 pounds in total for on the incredible beaches and coves along a double room b&b for four weeks. How do the Costa Daurada and try a meal along one they do it? That is not a weekly rate, but the of those delightful seafood restaurants along total cost for 2 people! the marinas before heading home. being asked to compete against favourable quotes against reputable hotels along the coasts that are offering them at ridiculously low prices.

An enterprising holiday apartment owner (whose property nestles in the Natural Parks of the Els Ports) who has thought long and hard in the face of adversity and has come up with a novel pricing idea. This is very forward thinking and is matching the enquiry trends we are now seeing. The holiday makers are no longer just accepting the displayed price structure and barter that why should they pay for 5 when there are only two of them. The prices are quoted in sterling in this example and are correct for 2010.

The second week they may choose either an exertive family holiday where they can get out on the bikes or hike the trails high up into the Els Ports either on their own or with a proper guide (add on cost). The second choice need not be active. It can be whatever you wish.

As tranquil as you please alone with your musings, avid birdwatching or photography, lazing under citrus trees reading, writing or painting or just stretching away the aches and pains, or tiredness as the sun kisses your bones that have had too harsh a winter in other climes. (How did they survive that 07 March 2010 - 08 May 2010 and 03 October winter? I am so glad we sought warmer 2010 - 06 November 2010 climes!)

First 2 occupants 175.00 per week - Extra occupants 25.00 per week Aside: Will the lady walker-cum-writer (who lives near Tortosa castle) who contacted me 09 May 2010 - 26 June 2010 and 05 over the festive period please, please call me September - 02 October 2010 on +34 619 772 492. I apologize profusely. I First 2 occupants 240.00 per week - Extra filed your number and email in a very safe occupants 30.00 per week spot. (Sorry, 'I am only a woman' & all of us women are guilty of these safe spot(s) to 27 June 2010 - 04 September 2010 First 2 occupants 285.00 per week - Extra place things, I hear the male Ebrobrites groan., "..never to be seen again.Well, not occupants 35.00 per week until next spring clean!")

Another option we can offer is a two centre location by working with two or more holiday Other holiday owners concentrate on couples property owners in different locations. For only and can tailor more to the individual example, the first week the men may wish to couples interests and desires and even take them around certain wineries or share companionship in an enclosed courtyard with Emergency Drain Services. wonderful delights of self catering coming 24 Hour 7 Day Service from the most magnificent outdoor kitchen I have ever seen. One you would expect to see on lifestyle living pages in the "Sunset -Living in the West" magazine. Your delightful hosts here can offer a choice of two apartments and the upstairs studio one even has an outdoor jaccuzzi bath where the most amazing sunsets can be viewed while enjoying a glass of cava, or several and relax amongst the bubbles!

Drain unblocking and repairs.

Septic tanks and drain laying service.

No job too small For fast reliable service Tel - 689918301 or 667399237

But all these properties still allow you to enjoy a day out in Barcelona by taking the train. But first I suggest you buy the book "...from Barcelona. Stories behind the city: Volume 1 ".

See review in last monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s issue www.ChronicCat.com

at

It will give you so much more the feeling and vibrancy of the real Barcelona, plus hours of enjoyment as you move from one short story to another.

Talking about the author, he describes his 20 helpful Spanish expressions in an article on www.expat.com -well actually 19. One was in Catalan and it did make me laugh. I can share the link but because of copyright can not print the phrase. But do look them up. You will be amused by Jeremy Holland's 20 phrases Expatica.com or to learn more interesting facts about Barcelona read his lively blog www.frombarcelona.com .

Large families or two families travelling together - we have choices too. One that would suit those with teenagers more with a huge pool and open lawns next to a canal where you can walk into a nearby village and not far from the Via Verda, and Tortosa medieval town, Where as, another has enclosed secured gardens and a delightful range of children play equipment and games and trampoline, pool and more.

Or a posh villa set on the side of the Benifallet mountain with grounds right down to the Ebro River and sleeps 10 people. Past tourists and locals claim this as the most beautiful view of the River Ebro with a GR walking route crossing their access road! Already heavily booked for the 3 summer months, though there are a few free weeks scattered over that period.

Fishermen from Poland and other Eastern Europeans are also looking at holiday spots.

So maybe the market is starting to come alive again.

We have many more options available and on both sides of the river! Folk are booking short breaks to Barcelona and then popping down for one day fishing and one night in B&B. Half a loaf is better than no bread at all!

RosieReay@FodenPress.com

BADMINTON CLUB PERELLO SPORTS HALL Intermediates Tuesday 11.30am - 1.00pm Beginners Thursday 11.30 am - 1.00pm 3â&#x201A;Ź PER SESSION FOR FURTHER INFO TEL 671 127 629

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 7

UN CONTE CURT A Short Story by the Wizard..

A Debt Repaid in many ways We had arrived here in southern Catalonia full of enthusiasm, expectation and perhaps a little apprehension, to start a new life in the campo surrounded by olive and citrus trees.

Our little finca, small in stature compared to the home we had left in England, gave us the promise of a new life without the pressure and demands of living in a busy industrial town in Lancashire. We gave our new home a lick of paint, hung paintings and prints on the walls, renovated the kitchen and generally made ourselves busy in settling into our new life.

Our Catalan neighbours made it a point of honour that they introduced themselves to us and made it clear that we were most welcome. Gifts of lemons, oranges and bottles of the most tasty prepared olives would be festooned on our gate as if left by fairies and whenever we were working in our very large garden, they would shout across to us, waving their arms in welcome and ask of us ‘Que tal’ to which we would reply ‘Mol be’ in our hesitant Catalan.

By the first summer we had progressed well, the vegetable garden was in full supply and we were able to repay the gifts that had festooned our gate with reciprocal offerings of courgette's, tomatoes, onions and beans. When our neighbours passed by they would hoot their cars horns and nod in approval that a gift had been received. We truly felt at ease with all things around us.

3 months old clamber up onto the store roof and eagerly forage for the remains of the bread thrown for the birds. When we approached, the kitten scampered off in the direction of the nearest hedge preferring the total secrecy and darkness that lay within. Every evening she would return and as time passed by we would try to gain her confidence by leaving a little food closer to the patio where we ate. Initially, at this stage, the food was left, she dared not to be close to humans, but hunger overcame her and gradually she would come up to the patio but not onto it to take the scraps of food offered. Our Catalan friends laughed at us saying that you cannot have just one cat, beware, more will come.

Perhaps they could not understand the feeling that the English have for animals.

Throughout that summer and into autumn her confidence in us grew and she would spend more time on our land, taking the food offered and in return offering her thanks by dropping the occasional dead rat near the doorstep to show her appreciation. We grew into her and she into us. When we occasionally came home late she would always be sat on the drive as if a parent waiting for child to arrive home. Once the car had been parked up and we turned to enter the house, she had gone, her duty done, but early the next morning she would be within a few yards of the front door, waiting for perhaps a few scraps of food.

We never attempted to handle her, and if she wanted something she would find us, sit a few paces from us and attempt to meow, I say attempt because it was apparent that she was mute! This did not hinder her from forging a stronger friendship with us and occasionally she would Every evening on this first summer even rub up against our legs if she after our evening meal, we would felt that she was not being noticed. throw the left over bread onto the store roof for the birds and the Winter came and past, she had following day we were satisfied to found shelter in the store. I had see that everything had been taken. thrown a scarf into an old delivery Then one evening we were surprised box and she had claimed it as her to see a young kitten, not more than own, preferring to sleep there than PROGAT DE TORTOSA

out in the open. When she was about one year old it became apparent that she was pregnant but we decided to keep her and see what she would present us with! As her time drew near she became furtive and uneasy, we would miss her for long periods of the day but she always returned at nightfall for her meal. Then one evening she did not return and for the next 5 days we only saw a few fleeting glimpses of her. It was apparent that she had given birth but where was her litter of kittens?

Then one night we had an horrendous thunder storm with torrential rain and high winds, on and on it went, seemingly never to end.

Just before we retired to our beds we peered out through the open door into the porch and there in the shelter of one of the summer chairs were 3 totally helpless kittens and as we glanced up, there on the patio was mother with a further 2 kittens in her mouth bringing them into the only place that she knew that she could find shelter, safety and security. The faith and confidence built up over the previous year was now being repaid in full. On this dark and stormy night with rain in torrents and lightening that lit up the night sky as if daylight, she knew where of a place where protection was to be found with no obligation or demands. We quickly found a box and some old but warm bedding, placed it in the sheltered porch and watched as she carried by mouth each defenceless kitten into the dry, warm box.

ours. We were overcome with grief and when we looked to Phillipe there were tears also in his eyes, he understood our loss and shared our remorse.

We were now left with 5 three week old kittens who were totally dependent on their mother. Urgent efforts had to be made if these defenceless waifs were to survive. A phone call to the local animal refuge centre soon put us onto the right track and after a quick visit to their offices we arrived back home with special powdered milk formula and an ample supply of syringes. When you hold such a small creature in the palm of your hand you suddenly realise how slender the thread of life is and to have the responsibility to cater for 5 of these creatures all demanding in their squeals to be fed and cared for makes you realise how small we are in this unfolding universe but by our actions and deeds we can make an effort to assist in fulfilling not only our own life and of others around us but in all things that make this planet such a varied and plentiful place that it is.

As I write this article I can look out onto the patio and see 5 growing kittens, playing with anything and every thing that takes their amusement. One of them has the white paws of her mother, another the black and tan colouring of her coat and another the mute cry that will always endear my thoughts of such a trusting cat. And sometimes, sometimes, I swear that I can see Over the next few days she hardly their mother sat alongside them. left her kittens alone, almost every A debt truly repaid in full. time we glanced into the box she was there feeding or tendering to her young. We quietly left food and water by the side of the box so that she did not have far to go in search of her own food. About three weeks later, our Catalan neighbour Phillipe came up the drive shouting in some urgency. As we walked down to him it was apparent that he was carrying something. To our horror it was the body of our cat, she had been run over by a passing motorcyclist as she ran from Phillipe’s land onto

www.progattortosa.com

Do you find disturbing the way that cats live and are treated on the streets? Join Progat and you´ll help us to help them.

Progat will be holding their next market towards the end of April, beginning of May, (date to be confirmed) where you may adopt a kitten or cat, or just come and support this wonderful charity and meet the volunteers who strive to look after the stray and abandoned cats here. If you have anything to donate, ie, clothes, books, cds, dvds, bric a brac, anything, please call 977 44 20 26/977 44 66 49. Donations are also welcome.

If you decide to adopt a cat, sterilisation/castration is provided for free. Did you know that one cat can be responsible in only five years, of producing 20,000 descendants?! ….

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 8

ICE WITHOUT THE GIN AND TONIC Another month, the shortest one at that, has whizzed by. Now getting closer to warmer weather and looking forward to moving away from the heat source into the sunny outdoors. My mood will change once awaking to sun and warmth plus seeing the wonderful colours of spring.

searching inside a mobile phone for an emergency contact then that would make it easier for everyone."

This came home to me last year when I was asked if I knew the names of a friends sons. She was in hospital but the police could not contact her At the beginning of the year I promised to take on family. What ever way is best for you and your the dreaded tasks of dealing with the bureaucratic loved ones, share information as none of us know paperwork namely the new EU citizen document what the future may be? replacing the resident’s card, health card renewal and the easy one of making a new will. Yes there Finally the quotes below are some of my is a smug satisfaction of it being accomplished, favourites on the inevitable…………….! and only four mornings of sheer frustrations. How one department does not synchronise with Age should not have its face lifted, but it should another especially with new forms issued is rather teach the world to admire wrinkles as the amazing, now you can’t download them as they etchings of experience and the firm line of character. Ralph B. Perry are three-part.

Alright, I put my hands up to upsetting the system; once on their database there is no ability to change nationality. Back in 2001 I was holding a British passport now I walk in with an Irish one. A difficult very foreign customer just trying their new system!

Age will not be defied. Francis Bacon Ageing seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Daniel Francois Esprit Auber

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it George Making a will could not have been easier - it took Burns about an hour, cost a little under 40 euros. No discount was offered from the Notary but he slyly Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of asked if I would proof read his translation of the old age. Victor Hugo basic will into English. He wants to be able to offer a translation to English speakers. Thinking about A useless life is an early death. Johann Wolfgang this I have now sent it to family members as who Von Goethe would know I have it if both Peter and I died together? This brings to mind a discussion last A lady of a ''certain age,'' which means certainly year. aged. Lord Byron In the situation of accidental death, not a subject that any of us wish to think of. Would your friends know the names of your next of kin? Does your mobile phone just hold names and numbers should the police or other emergency service need to identify you and or your next of kin would they be able to? A couple of years back I read an article which I have found again to share.

Age imprints more wrinkles in the mind than it does on the face. Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

In case of emergency (ICE) is a programme that enables first responders, such as paramedics, firefighters, and police officers, to identify victims and contact their next of kin to obtain important medical information. The program was conceived in the mid-2000s and promoted by British paramedic Bob Brotchie in May 2005.[1] It encourages people to enter emergency contacts in their mobile phone address book under the name "ICE". Alternately, a person can list multiple emergency contacts as "ICE1", "ICE2", etc. The popularity of the program has spread across Europe and Australia

Age is not a particularly interesting subject.

Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. Groucho Marx

When interviewed on July 12, 2005 on the BBC Radio 4 Today programme, Brotchie said:"I was reflecting on some difficult calls I've attended, where people were unable to speak to me through injury or illness and we were unable to find out who they were. I discovered that many people, obviously, carry mobile phones and we were using them to discover who they were. It occurred to me that if we had a uniform approach to

Age is a high price to pay for maturity. Tom Stoppard Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, age don't matter. Leroy ''Satchel'' Paige

Alas, I am dying beyond my means. Oscar Wilde

RIERES ESTATE AGENT PROFESSIONAL SERVICE WITH A PERSONAL TOUCH

Large portfolio of properties within 50km radius of Tortosa are you looking for a finca or villa or apartment ?

GOOD ADVICE FROM KIDS "Never trust a dog to watch your food."

Patrick, age 10 "When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer."

Hannah, age 9 Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."

Michael, age 14 "Stay away from prunes."

Randy, age 9 "Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to."

Emily, age 10 "When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."

Taylia, age 11 "Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment."

Traci, age 14 "A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac." Andrew, age 9 "Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time."

Kyoyo, age 11 "You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."

Amir, age 9 "Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts."

Kellie, age 11 "If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."

Naomi, age 15 "Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick."

Lauren, age 9 "Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."

Joel, age 10

Call or email for a free guide to buying property Placa Paiolet 2 Tortosa (near the old bridge)

telephone 977445497 or 645335634 English Catalan Spanish spoken

email

cervantes@rieres.com

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone."

Alyesha, age 13 "Never try to baptize a cat."

Eileen, age 8

website www.realitypropertyspain.com

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 9

WHAT'S GOING ON ONLINE? Your monthly round-up of the fun and Spice-up your Sangria skils with these variations: the factual from the internet. bit.ly/bcJWdq Hope you enjoyed last month's list, this month we're going to open with a A twist on mussels to keep any man useful little site that makes tiny URL's happy: from long ones. I'll be using them bit.ly/cIockh whenever I think it'll save you time when typing addresses into your CALLING ALL BRANIACS: You can never have enough browser - example: http://bit.ly/ knowledge: On the right hand side of their home www.mentalfloss.com page there are some Tool options Now put it to the test(s): check these out for easy sharing. bit.ly/98X99P On with the rest then ...

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A gentler approach to online games: bit.ly/179sk

How did your Valentines go? Any SPANISH STUFF: Be prepared with this Spanish bank worse than these?: bit.ly/csMC2d holiday list: bit.ly/aSPq60 This round-up was bought to you by Get to know your Spanish cheeses: Jamie Watson. bit.ly/bI3TAl Jamie is a freelance creative offering web HISTORY: A sketch-pad story of pretty much design, illustration, animation and everything: branding services, bit.ly/5m3Jr2 based in L'Ampolla.

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The Hunting Season is all but over....

Thank goodness that we no longer have to be woken up by the virtual 4th of July every week-end morning. We will be able to stop worrying about the safety of our cats, and other animals that may become caught up in the weekly ‘sport’.

I have no problem with hunting for food, provided of course they do not litter the place with beer cans, spent cartridges, and worst of all, the dogs them deem no longer necessary. With the end of the season, we must be aware that poison is put down to cull the strays that are abandoned - a way of clearing up after themselves.

Last summer I applied to the Department of the Medi-Ambient in Amposta to remove my finca from the hunting register, to no avail.

It was apparently not possible unless I had over 250 hectares, and preferably 500.

Speaking to my neighbour last autumn he mentioned that ‘theoretically’ hunters were not allowed to shoot within 100m of a road, that they were not allowed to shoot in the riverbeds, or barrancs, and most telling of all, they could not shoot on land that was cultivated.

Armed with this knowledge, however flimsy, we erected small signs dotted about our finca, outward facing that bore the legend ‘FINCA PARTICULAR CULTIVADA’ . Letting all and sundry know that this finca was private and was being cultivated or worked.

Whilst we have seen many hunters nearby this season, we have not had one set foot on our land. Maybe we were lucky, maybe not. At least our various animals enjoyed a respite.

At the end of October, I received a reply to an email that I had sent to some various department back in August. At the time I had decided to email everyone and anyone connected to the Rural /Hunting side of things, in an attempt to find out how to take our finca outside the local ‘coto’ or hunting ground.

It appeared to have been passed around a bit - hence the delay - but eventually it found the right person, and they enclosed a application form which needed to be completed and sent back to the MediAmbient in Amposta.

Hmmmm.....

I will keep you posted.

ENGLISH SPEAKING DENTAL SURGERY JENNIFER JACK - DENTIST ALEXANDER JACK MASTER DENTAL TECHNOLOGIST Mon / Weds / Fri 10.00 -16.00 Tue, Thu 14.00 - 20.00

Plaza De Bous, 1 12598 PENISCOLA (Castellon) TEL./FAX: 964 481 588

PLAYA NORTE

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 10

PUERTO

ESPORTS C ATALUNYA C HRONICLE S PORT ’ S P AGE WITH GOCATALUNYA.COM

Madrid booked their place in the final on 26 May for the first time in ten years after a four-nil home win couldn’t be overturned by the Cantabrian side Racing de Santander who won the second leg 3-2.

Injury woes continue for Nadal F1 practice in Jerez ahead of new season

Rafa Nadal has been told that he will be out of action for another month following a new injury he picked up playing Andy Murray in the Australian The Jerez circuit saw all the big names testing their cars mid February for Open at the end of January. Doctors said that he suffered a tear in the the forthcoming Grand Prix season with the focus of attention on old rivals quadriceps muscle in his right leg and was told to rest for at least two weeks Fernando Alonso, now with Ferrari, and Michael Schumacher staging his then make a slow return to training. comeback with Mercedes.

Nadal withdrew injured from the Australian Open semi-final clash against Other teams practising included McLaren, Sauber, Renault, Red Bull, Toro Andy Murray and as a result has seen his world ranking drop to number Rosso, Williams, Force India-Mercedes GP and Virgin GP. four with the Scot moving into third.

Alonso was super confident about the performance of Ferrari’s new F10 Spain criticises Portugal over 2018 World Cup Bid car, taking it trough 129 laps with a full fuel tank but the final day of testing saw Britain’s Lewis Hamilton achieve the fastest lap time, albeit with lower The Spanish sports minister Jaime Lissavetzky has told the press he levels of fuel and a dry track. doesn’t see Portugal as "overly excited" at the prospect of co-hosting the 2018 World Cup Finals with Spain. He infuriated the Portuguese Hamilton’s teammate and current world champion Jenson Button also put government by saying "It seems that those in football are more interested in some impressive performances but couldn’t top Hamilton’s times. than the politicians." Portugal’s minister for sport Laurentino Dias Thorough testing this season is even more crucial as new rules in place responded by insisting that it doesn't have any money to spend on mean that there will be no re-fuelling during races. remodelling stadiums due to the country's financial difficulties and that the fact there would be no new investment in stadiums was clear from the 2010 Formula One Calendar outset.

Bahrain Grand Prix (Sakhir) 12 - 14 Mar Australian Grand Prix (Melbourne) 26 - 28 Mar Malaysian Grand Prix (Kuala Lumpur) 02 - 04 Apr Chinese Grand Prix (Shanghai) 16 - 18 Apr Spanish Grand Prix (Catalunya) 07 - 09 May Grand Prix De Monaco (Monte Carlo) 13 - 16 May

The Iberian bid was regarded by many as favourite to succeed in December’s vote but this public disagreement will give both the English and joint Belgium-Netherlands bids a massive boost.

Next Month...

Full details of the 2010 MotoGP calendar which starts in Qatar on 11 April.

Tickets for all major sporting events, including FC Barcelona tickets, La Liga tickets & Grand Prix tickets are also available online at www.GoCatalunya.com

Turkish Grand Prix (Istanbul) 28 - 30 May Canadian Grand Prix (Montreal) 11 - 13 Jun Grand Prix Of Europe (Valencia) 25 - 27 Jun British Grand Prix (Silverstone) 09 - 11 Jul German Grand Prix (Hockenheim) 23 - 25 Jul Hungarian Grand Prix (Budapest) 30 Jul - 01 Aug Belgian Grand Prix (Spa-Francorchamps) 27 - 29 Aug Italian Grand Prix (Monza) 10 - 12 Sep Singapore Grand Prix (Singapore) 24 - 26 Sep Japanese Grand Prix (Suzuka) 08 - 10 Oct Korean Grand Prix (Yeongam) * 22 - 24 Oct Brazilian Grand Prix (Sao Paulo) 05 - 07 Nov

Renewable Energy Systems We have 180 Watt Monocristalline panels in stock: 542,88 Euro incl. IVA. We provide full installation / sales / service in the Amposta / Tortosa / El Perello region

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix (Yas Marina Circuit) 12 - 14 Nov * Subject to circuit approval

Seville v Athletico Madrid in Copa del Rey Final Seville went through to the final of the Copa del Rey despite losing one nil to Getafe in the second leg of the semi-final. The Andalucian team won the tie 2-1 on aggregate following their two nil victory at home. Athletico

Call 693 206 868 for more info, we speak English, Deutsch, Nederlands, y un poco de español

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 11

REVIEWS THE EXPAT ARC BY

DANIELLE BARKHOUSE

AN EXPAT'S JOURNEY OVER CULTURE SHOCK Well, that remark is something I can immediately relate to, though mine was on arrival in rural Catalonia and not India!

Canadian born Danielle never set out to write a book. She merely started blogging as a release of her emotions and the highs and lows of adjusting to life abroad in Chennai, India with her husband (who was on another three year assignment) her son Connor and his inseparable pooch Kramer. It soon became an electronic scrapbook of a more personal journal of her thoughts, experiences and photographs - a means of staying in touch with family back in Peoria, Illinois.So she was in fact already an Expat in the USA. I am ever so glad to her loyal friends who persuaded her that this would make a really good book.

Indeed it has! Her writing style is so friendly, open and honest. Often Danielle embraces the use of lists and bullet points, but these only add flavour to her Indian 'pie'. Her personal photographs are strategically placed and are so descriptive, educational and often amusing as the scene unfolds in front of you.

I must be honest with you. I never before thought of India as a country I would want to visit. Danielle Barkhouse has unwittingly changed that for me and I am sure her other readers will too place India on their wish list of "Places to Travel to". Danielle has crafted such vivid descriptions of the colourful place and people. Sometimes sad, occasionally in

horror "Did I just see that?" sort of tone, but always there is an underlining sense of understanding, a very, very steep learning curve, and a willingness 'not to give up'. She is definitely not a quitter. Expats the world over can all take something of value away from this book with them.

For those of us living out here in Catalonia or Spain we can always relate to her amusing chapters on "Creepy Crawlies", well, to the geckoes at least. We know all about them!

Though I think Danielle had some scarier encounters with more frighteningly "living things" in not one "Creepy Crawlies" chapter, but three of them. Oh, I did laugh out loud and sometimes even gasped.

struggling out there and those who are contemplating doing it.

What Daniella sneaks into her blog style writing first for friends and family back home and obviously later for all her readers, are educational internet links of places where they have been to or as a point of reference.

These I thoroughly enjoyed exploring! I only wished that these beautiful sounding place names were followed by the phonetics in how to pronounce them - but them I am a Namiac.

Danielle Barkhouse has beautifully coined a phrase as a chapter heading for each of her writings. So you just do not want to put this book down and it is comforting to read her musings that "India slowly grows on her or is One of the hardest things a woman finds in she growing on India?" relocating abroad is shopping for food and this follows the cooking and menu planning You may wish to visit her website at as well. Even more so in India when you www.earthtodanie.com. Even her web portal cannot just pop down to one huge name made me smile and you warm so supermarket and buy the job lot, but have to quickly to this cheerful person with such a positive outlook on life. go here there and everywhere.

The title of the book was inspired after her first year's journey when chatting to a friend she remarked it was like an arc. "The top of the arc is the height of an expat's discomfort and dissatisfaction". She goes on to say when you are coming down the other side of I think the initial cultural shock Danielle the arc it "is transformed into a colourful experienced was been given a personal rainbow, and we know what is at the end of driver. She first pondered as to why they (her a rainbow!" husband's firm) thought it necessary for her to have one. As the story unravels you will To me the reader, there were more rainbows see tale upon tale about her being "driven out than showers. A book to be enjoyed and in the car". I don't want to say more as it will treasured by everyone, but an absolute must for every Expat the world over. Enjoy! spoil the book for you.

Your shopping list changes or is discarded as what you want they don't have, never heard of or what the heck, "What is in season?" It was not long before she wrote "My tastebuds have adjusted to India before the rest of me."

Moving abroad with a dog and a school going young child opened up unknown challenges for both of them as well as the parents. How they coped, laughed and cried, coached and rejoiced, is of uplifting value to all Expats

ARCHITECTURE AND ENGINEERING PROJECTS Assessment and Legalization of Property

Measurements and Topographics

New Building Drafts

Valuations, appraisals and surveys Technical Reports and Certificates

Avda. Barcelona 92, Local 1, 43892 MIAMI PLATJA Telephone: 659 736 403

Become a fan of The Expat Arc Facebook and you can view a trailer of it too on YouTube.

by RosieReay@FodenPress.com

A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? Answer on page 20

www.taeconsultors.com

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

David Pique Domingo

ENGLISH SPEAKING LAWYER AV, Barcelona, 67 Edifici C/ Sant Antoni, 31 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Marfilâ&#x20AC;? local 1 43892 43480 VILA-SECA MIAMI PLATJA TEL 977 39 07 74 TEL 977 17 29 39 E-MAIL: davidpique@advocatsreus.org

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 12

BITS AND BOBS This is too true to be funny.

Hunting License Tax

The next time you hear a politician use the Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

Inheritance Tax

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it's releases.

Inventory Tax (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax Luxury Tax Marriage License Tax

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

Property Tax

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

Real Estate Tax

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

Social Security Tax Road Usage Tax

E. A billion Pounds ago was only 13 hours and 12 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Local Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax Workers Compensation Tax

Building Permit Tax

Corporate Income Tax Dog License Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...

Income Tax

And our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world.

Unemployment Tax

We had absolutely no national debt...

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TALES FROM THE RIVERBANK Well it´s nice to be back in sunny Spain after spending five weeks in the very cold UK. Whilst I was there, I fished two matches; both times we had to break the ice to fish so I was really looking forward to getting back to some warmer weather - ha ha!!! Since being back I have had two days out on the river (one at Amposta and one at Xerta), neither which were very productive due to the river being quite high and low water temperatures. Roll on Spring!

However, II did spend a day at The Reservoir Punta d'Utxesa near Lleida in February. I had heard on the grapevine it had been fishing quite well, even in this cold weather.

After a couple of hours with not much happening, we started to get a few bites, after putting down a fairly good bed of ground bait (not too much at this time of the year though).

The best thing to do was to sit and wait for a bite and we ended up getting some nice carp and some fairly good roach. We found that on the day, the best baits were maggots and worms. Elsewhere on the river I have heard that the sport has been fairly slow due to low water temperatures and not much colour in the water.

I am certainly looking forward to March and April when the weather warms up to get a bit of colour back in the river, thus improving the sport.

Out on the delta, where they have started draining the canals, the water levels have dropped. There are still fish to be caught if you can find a decent depth of water.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 13

GROWING NICELY The grasses are beautiful; they look so strong and exotic in spring. From such a variety of grasses, I tried to select a single type of grass which is predominant, like Drooping Brome (Bromus tectorum) in specific areas adding such richness to the garden; however, wild grasses are not easily tamed.

When the grasses whisper, I am always willing to listen to their secrets, although not tempted to share mine with them, because I know they will tell!

The songs tell us, that ‘The trees don’t need to know, Don’t tell it to the breeze. Coz she will tell it to the birds and the bees. Because you (whispering grass) told it to the blabbering trees’

Or encourage grasses to grow together with a mass of a particular wild flower, like a terrace of Field Scabious (Knautia ervensis), which not only looks fantastic but has a dramatic effect,

Hit for the Ink Spots (1940) Hit for Davis & Estelle (1975)

The small and beautiful Feather-Top grass (Pennisetum villosum), is so decorative amongst small flowering shrubs, I try to keep in the flowerbeds but it flourishes, wherever the wind takes the seed!

Or have you heard the ancient Greek legend? They say, when the God Apollo wanted to punish Midas, he cursed the King with a deformity to bring shame on his entire life, a personal secret he kept from all, except his wife, and his barber of-course, that he had ‘ears As I walked a little further listening to the whispers, following a line of wild grasses, they became thicker of an Ass’. and taller. I could hear them telling me about water on But his barber (or was it his wife) just couldn’t live with the land. the pressure of keeping such a terrible secret, so in utter desperation, shouted the secret into the ground, Then, there it was, in front of me, a natural cistern formed of natural rock, which at ground level, was half but unfortunately, the grasses heard it. covered with an old, almost invisible, curved brick roof, So it is a wise policy wherever you are, either in the but leaving a gaping cavernous hole for the water to country, along the river or beach, even in your own gush. garden, to just listen to the secret wisdom of nature Returning to our campsite to collect netting (to avoid when it is whispered. mosquito’s breeding there) and wood to cover the top The grass always tells where the water lies under the before Lucy, my small (town) dog discovered it, and soil, where it collects naturally, in fact, with the help of fell in, I remembered to bring a torch. the grasses; I can follow the water, as I did when we Peering into the depth, to see for myself how truthful first arrived. the grasses had been. I saw it was almost full of water, That was nearly a decade ago, it was very wet, ‘welly but the torchlight caught a ripple on the on the surface. boot’ weather, in the middle of August! I wandered Fear gripped me as I recognised the moving reflection, around the land, in the rain wondering what I would a dreadful memory from my trips to India! do first, to create my garden when the rain storms Water snake.....water snake I cried very loudly, finally subsided. remembering how deadly poisonous the little tropical First I found mature grape vines trained over dry stone snakes were, but this was a huge monster. walls, with their leaves protecting the remains of the untouched crop of grapes. I made a mental note to I had calmed my instantaneous terror and looked again, before my partner arrived, what I saw was a prune them. very large, and quite distressed snake, that had I was held spellbound by the images of the grasses obviously fallen in. hung with droplets of water like jewels; water glistened on the leaves making incredible shapes of our olive We decided to leave a large bamboo ‘olive harvesting’ trees. They are old, how old? I daydreamed of what pole in the water, resting on the edge of the gaping stories they might tell? Someone told me (was it the hole for the unfortunate creature to escape. However several hours later, it was still in there, moving slowly grasses?) now, exhausted and unable to escape.

We strim the grass on some terraces close to the house or make pathways, but however wonderful it looks in spring, by midsummer, the grass is tinder dry.

A lawn is completely out of the question with the months of annual drought.

Instead, I have opted for swathes of green, draped over pots and pillars, lots and lots of green in fact.

Using a tiny plant not more than 5cm high but very fast growing, this little succulent perennial has come to my rescue.

Aptenia cordifolia is delightful, with bright green glossy oval leaves, covered in tiny pink daisy type flowers, which attract butterflies and insects.

It grows easily from small cutting 10cm long, planted directly in its final situation, spaced closely; it will give complete ground cover in months. Yes, it does control Whilst I was considering what to do next, my partner the weeds as well, but that is the bonus, however, it simply leaned over into the dark, moved the pole under will also overwhelm and kill any fragile plants, in its the snake and flicked it up and out into the grass. way if allowed.

Time was suspended...nothing moved, we held our Now the cornerstones of my gardens design, is the breath, the snake was still but it’s head was held high, green Aptenia cordifolia that ties all the disparate like a Cobra ready to strike! We waited, all three of us spaces together and unifies the garden, with beautiful frozen in shock.... and in one spectacular, lightening wild grasses that merge it into the country. movement, it was gone.

Olive trees, here in Cataluña have been cultivated and harvested for their liquid gold since before Roman times, in fact somewhere near Siena, there are trees that have lived for more than 2000 years, and are still in cultivation!

We laughed, cried and hugged. We had had our first adventure in our new home, our welcome to the land.

But those grasses had forgotten to tell me about the snake!

That day we saved an adult (2 metre) Montpelier If you don’t believe me look at the tree in the picture, snake, very frightening to a couple of city dwellers. now protected by the government for its amazing Now I like to find their discarded skins to remind me that they are still living in close proximity, undisturbed longevity! by our presence.

Ctra. Plages El Perello-L’Ampolla Tel/Fax: 977 26 78 26

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 14

LES MASCOTES (2) The Almond trees are in full bloom. The days are getting longer. The sun comes out more often.

against ticks and other stinging bugs, do absolutely nothing against fleas.

TELEPHONE BAZ ON 660 879 852 or 977 050 302 after 6pm

And the temperature is getting warmer. Spring is right around the corner! ... and with it are the fleas.

Fleas are the peskiest of all parasites because they multiply faster than rabbits, irritate the host animal, and can be very difficult to get under control.

wood-floor cracks, tapestry, carpets, pet beds, etc. The larvae turns into a cocoon and after a few weeks a mature flea emerges. This flea goes in search of blood immediately, and after a first successful meal, will go start laying eggs again, completing the lifecycle of the flea.

Fleas are tiny little dark brown creatures that are sort of flat, with long legs that can help them jump quite a good distance. They crawl around your pet changing the areas where they bite the skin and suck the host animals blood.

How quickly the flea population multiplies and how long the If you try to grab one you find reproduction cycle takes depends yourself generally out of luck, highly on the elements, but is unless you're a regular karate-kid typically completed in 20 - 35 days. with chop-sticks. If you actually manage to almost grab one, If your cat was lucky enough to chances are it'll disappear, and only have had this one single hitchyou'll soon realize it has jumped ... hiker, the picture changes when maybe onto you. the eggs start to hatch and an extra 20 fleas a day start biting and Fleas are mostly uncomfortable sucking its blood. Your pet will be and irritating to the host animal. itching ALL over ALL day, and will But if the animal is very young, very start to become very old, or otherwise unhealthy, the uncomfortable. blood loss from an infestation can cause anaemia and death. Many You'll notice lot's of scratching and pets also get flea allergies these biting itself. Bald spots will appear days , which are difficult to cure. in the coat, and certain places may be scratched till they bleed. There's Furthermore, though fleas prefer absolutely nothing the poor animal furry hosts, they don't discriminate can do to rid itself of these pesky against us homo sapiens. And in little parasites, and depends on the case that the host animal you to relief its discomfort. becomes too crowded for some of these uninvited guests, they will Your pets main goal is for you to migrate onto us. eradicate the adult fleas that are causing the itching. In the olden Fleas are truly pests for our pets! days, fleas were very difficult to get A flea lies in wait someplace. Then rid off, but luckily with the years as your unsuspecting cat passes some very good and effective flea by, The flea jumps aboard his control treatments have been candy store and begins to feed on developed and brought on the the poor animals juicy blood. market.

The bites of the flea cause the cat to itch, and the poor animal starts to scratch itself. If the little flea is a female, she will start laying eggs right after her first meal.

Per day, she will lay about 20 eggs!

The larvae that hatch from these eggs hide in dark places such has

Do not forget about the flea eggs and larvae though that are hiding somewhere in the pets surroundings. If you think that the biggest extent of the flea problem are the fleas on your pet, you're quite mistaken. Only 5% of a full blown flea infestation takes place You can use powders and sprays on your pet, the other 95% in the animals of all sorts of brands and for some happens surroundings, such as your home. these may work fine. Your first goal is to kill off all the adult fleas.

Be sure to use some type of flea Many years ago this was done by treatment for the environment as giving flea-baths. well to kill off any of the eggs or larvae that may be present there.

Fleas cannot survive in There are many brands of sprays water and so dipping cats that you can use that work quite in a treated bath worked well. well.

Unless of course the cat didn't want to get bathed !!! For dogs that aren't afraid of water, a refreshing swim in the ocean helps get rid of many of these parasites.

Nowadays there are also topical flea treatments which are simply applied to the base of the neck with one quick squirt such as Advantage and Frontline.

But I must confess that they do come with an unpleasant odour, and most likely aren't the best things for us caretakers to inhale.

But if you're unlucky enough to find yourself in the middle of a flea infestation, you'll probably have to resort to these to break the cycle.

Your best protection against a flea infestation for yourself and They stay effective in killing off your pet, is prevention! adult fleas for 4 to 6 weeks, after As a preventive measure you can which the treatment should be start in march by giving your pet a repeated. With these treatments flea treatment which is effective you not only kill the adult fleas against ALL the stages of the flea already present on the animal, you cycle for a continuous period of also kill the new hatchlings as soon around 4 weeks and keep as they get onto your pet, and any repeating this treatment until the stray hitch-hikers that get picked main flea season ends in the late up from the environment. fall.

Your pet will immediately feel This way, the fleas do not even get relief! the chance to diposit the 95% of Be careful with using Flea Collars, the life cycle into your home! Or especially on cats. Cats can easily you can comb your pets fur every strangle themselves in these day with a flea comb and at the collars, and their safety to the sign of the first flea, start giving animals are disputed due to high treatments for the fleas and the toxicity. The "Scalibor" Collars that surroundings. work so great on dogs ONLY In the colder seasons of the year, adult fleas are scarce and the larvae in your home are dormant.

But as spring approaches and the temperatures become more favourable, the eggs will hatch all at once, and a massive flea infestation will be upon us once again.

by Meike Knol

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 15

COMMUNITY NEWS PARSON PAUL PONDERS . . . .

The sky is blue, the sun beams down on the Mediterranean coast at its best and a couple gaze into each other’s eyes, then make their vows in a beautiful Spanish church. It sounds like the perfect wedding scene and is very different from the British version where the grey skies and drizzle might take the gloss off your big day – not to mention that the bride is late and there’s another wedding party waiting to take over the church in 45 minutes.

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forms and certificates are demanded of them. We always encourage British couples who want a wedding here to complete the legal and civil part in a Registrars Office in the UK with as little ceremony as possible, then armed with their marriage certificate we can offer the “real wedding” here, normally in a local church which our Roman Catholic hosts allow us to use. A Vicar friend of mine links this with the experience of buying a house. There is a Spain, like France and many other countries, views marriage primarily as day to sign and exchange contracts (that UK Civil ceremony) but the big a Civil Ceremony which may be followed by a church celebration. The occasion is Completion Day. British custom where a Vicar acts as Registrar as well as Minister comes about only because the Church of England is an “established church” and We do not refer to these weddings as Marriage Blessings but see them as linked formally to the state. In the UK because I am an Anglican Priest I more than that. We offer the full marriage service, minus a couple of legal may also act as a Registrar – with all the attendant paperwork and worries parts which have already been done in the UK. It also means that we have about getting things absolutely right. a day without legal concerns and can all enjoy a real Marriage Celebration.

This Mediterranean dream prompts many people to telephone me and ask “Can my daughter and her partner get married in church in Spain?” It is a lovely idea and since we are all in the European Union you would think it could be done easily but experience has taught us to proceed with caution.

I have known British couples start the long form filling administration to try They can include hymns and other music although not every church is and get their wedding performed in a similar way here but as yet none have equipped with an organ or suitable instrument. Catholics often sing succeeded. They have got bogged down with bureaucracy as ever more unaccompanied in their services. This has developed our resourcefulness and ingenuity with pre-recorded music and the like. We also encourage other family members to be involved in the service if they wish – with readings or poems.

Planning normally starts at least a year ahead although weddings can be arranged at much shorter notice. Until recently many families found a local restaurant could cater for the wedding feast more cheaply than in Britain and our local hosts put their all into a celebration like this. Photographers are welcome – except at key moments during the service itself - and we (and the local Catholic church) are delighted when a family provides flowers for decoration.

Next Bookstalls: Saturday 6th March Saturday 20th March Saturday 3rd April At the Homogenic Bar.

Our wedding fee of €350 reflects the cost of time, travel and preparation and compares favourably with the fee for a civil wedding in Britain. Our church receives no outside funding for the many aspects of our ministry and most couples are also very willing for a collection plate to support the mission and ministry here.

Although there are similarities with British church weddings we try to seize the novelty of our location and make every couple’s big day memorable and individual. Over the past three years I have enjoyed getting to know brides and bridegrooms as together we prepared for a day to remember – in a unique setting. It is a joyful and encouraging aspect of a Vicar’s task.

Paul Needle is the English Vicar serving local congregations in Alcossebre, Ampolla and Vinaros. He can be contacted on 662 482 944 or there are more details on the church website http://www.azaharanglican.org

El Perelló

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 16

LA SALUT WHAT ARE PROTEINS? The word protein comes from Greek and means first. As its name implies, proteins are essential, no protein, no life. If your body were a house the proteins would be the bricks and the replacement parts when it needed repair.

Proteins are the essential material from which we are built and are part of the structure of all tissues and have key activities throughout the body, from brain function to the formation of defences. Moreover, our body can use protein as fuel (energy source) when needed.

Almost all foods contain protein to a greater or lesser amount, but not all are considered high-protein foods. For example, fats (oils, margarine, etc.) contain no protein, and fruits and vegetables contain only trace amounts.

Dairy products are rich in protein but are classified as foods rich in calcium. The same applies to cereals, it is true that they have vegetable protein content but are noted for their high content of carbohydrates (sugars).

Foods rich in protein can be of vegetable or animal origin: Proteins of animal origin: meat, fish, eggs and dairy.

Vegetable protein: legumes, nuts, seeds and grains (especially whole grain). Moreover, one must take into account all derivatives of these foods such as tofu, veggie burgers, etc.

protein (lactovegetarians) or even eliminate You need only add one further item to make better use of the nutrients and plant proteins them completely from their diet (vegans). to enable them to replace a steak. For This protein supplementation is to join two example, a salad and a dish of lentils and rice plant proteins (for example, a legume and are a perfectly balanced menu, however, to cereal: beans on toast), or to pick a vegetable make it more complete you would have a protein and animal protein (e.g. milk and salad with lemon dressing or eat a piece of cereal: cornflakes with milk). fresh fruit, as well as fruit fresh lemons are rich in vitamin C. For non-vegetarians it is interesting to know this to understand that there is no need to eat Why do this? Vitamin C helps our body to as many meats, fish, eggs and dairy products absorb and make better use of the iron in every day and still be well nourished. In lentils and vegetables. Foods high in animal industrialized countries there is an excessive protein (meat, fish ...) have an "animal" iron intake of animal protein, so the current that we can absorb without problem, so no recommendation is that at least 50% of the need to add vitamin C, however it is protein foods we consume are of plant origin. necessary when we eat plant protein (legumes, nuts ...).

To understand how this complement of proteins works we have to imagine the A clear traditional example is humus; it is a proteins as if they were "words". These puree of chickpeas with crushed sesame "words" consist of "letters" which are amino seeds (also known as tahini) with oil, garlic, acids. Animal proteins have all the "letters and salt and lemon. It's perfect, nutritionally can form "complete words". speaking, as it is a legume together with one seed, two incomplete plant proteins that lack However, vegetable a "letter" that together form a "word" or proteins were usually complete protein. In addition, lemon is added missing one or more in order to better absorb the plant iron. "letters" (amino acids) and therefore are "incomplete Recommendations: words" (incomplete proteins). Nevertheless, FAO / WHO recommend a protein intake of proteins have the property between 12-15% of the total daily calories, of of being able to complement each other, so which at least 50% should be of plant origin that vegetable proteins (legumes, cereals, (vegetables, nuts ...). nuts) which need a "letter" can join with other How do you translate these many vegetable or animal protein which has that hundreds of protein and calories into missing " letter " and form a complete protein. real food?

The following combinations of proteins are complete proteins that substitute perfectly for How do you know how much and how often you eat these foods high in protein? a steak: o Vegetables & Cereals: lentils with rice, For simplicity we talk about daily food rations.

The daily food recommendations by SENC beans on toast (Spanish Society of Community Nutrition) for o Legumes + nuts / seeds: hummus, white a healthy adult are 2 servings per day of meat, beans with chopped almonds (picada legumes and / or nuts. catalana) One serving equals the following amounts of o Legumes + dairy: chickpea salad with fresh food, all weights are net (without bones, spines, shells, etc.): cheese o Nuts / seeds & cereals: muesli

Given that in our body there is no reservoir of proteins and that there is a high turnover of proteins in organs and tissues (e.g., liver and intestinal mucous are regenerated in a few days), we can appreciate the importance of a daily supply of protein through food. o Nuts / seeds + milk: yogurt with nuts o 1 serving of lean meat = 100-125 g The protein intake should be split into three Cereal + milk: rice pudding, bread and cheese 1 serving of white or oily fish = 125-150 g meals a day, because if you eat too much protein, it becomes fat, and excess 1 serving of eggs = 2 eggs MasterMac Foods nitrogen is excreted through the kidneys www.mastermac.eu email:mastermacff@gmail.com 1 serving of cooked legumes = 1 plate of Supplying & Delivering Sausages, Bacon, Gammon as urea and uric acid.

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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 17

LA MATANÇA DEL PORC The Matança or pig killing is an annual No doubt the origin of the phrase event in Catalunya, and usual is an excuse 'long pig' in the cannibal language. for a party, albeit only after the hard work Having extricated the necessary pieces to has been completed. take to the vet for analysis, the two sides were There is an put on a table and covered, to be left for the element of ritual night, and ready for the sausage fest the surrounding the following day. I looked at my watch and was day, but in surprised to see that only 90 minutes had reality, it is the elapsed – they work fast especially where summation of a something as important as food is concerned. y e a r ' s I was exhorted to bring my family the following investment in day, and by the time we turned up, a cauldron animal feed and was on the go (my daughter would not even the provision of look into it) full of suspicious-looking pieces meat for the of skin and bone, together with some bits you year to come. thought you could recognise, but would rather Our neighbours had been rearing two pigs, not. and mentioned that they would be holding a matança, enquiring whether we would like to The best meat – fillets, chop, pancetta and come and help. There is always a lot to do, steaks – had already been whisked away, and and the more available to help the better. A we were left with the making of the sausages, cold, clear day is best and so I duly trotted a serious business. We helped cut up, mix, down the road at the appointed time to meet and prepare the various piles of meat that the matador (slaughterer) and the pig's grew ever larger. There was a remarkable air of calm and busy endeavour as it all slowly owners, and lend what assistance I could. began to make sense. This meat goes into The actual killing of the pig (with no name) making that type of sausage – these bits we was very simple, fast and quiet. will barbecue now – put those over there for No stuck pig here, and within a matter of minutes we were loading it's carcass onto a van to transport it 400 yards away to prepare it for the pot.

Scraping the skin with a knife, having first singed it with a blowtorch revealed a covering of smooth milky white fat and then the work began. Skilfully, the butcher split the body into two halves, extracting the various 'bits' which were put on one side for one purpose or another. It was eerily like watching an episode making fuet, and where is the parika? of 'Silent Witness' as they remarked that most of the internal organs were similar in size to When it was judged that we had processed all the meat possible, we had a break for that of a human body.

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breakfast – a glass of red, bread with oil and a rib or two, together with some pieces that tasted delicious and fortunately were unidentifiable having been barbecued.

My son (el carnivore) almost had to be dragged from the table.

Vast bowls were now assembled, spices were mixed and the sausage machine was brought out, together with a bowl of casings that had been soaked overnight. We made chorizo, bottifara – black and white, plain sausages, sobrasada and fuet – salt and pepper here, more paprika there. A hint of chili, some sugar to balance it, and some eggs to add some richness.

Each type of sausage had it's own cut of meat, and therein lies the tricky part, knowing which bits to put into what sausage.

Next we fed the sausage machine, having primed it with the casings, and then cut and tied them off into the correct size according to the recipe. The botifarras were then boiled in the cauldron, for twenty minutes and hung out to dry, under the careful eyes of two ever-circling dogs, waiting for their moment.

Once the work was over, we cleaned up and retired into the farm-house with a roaring fire and a table groaning with beans and various pork-derived products. It is traditional to serve beans with the pork at a matança, and cooked

with pork fat, these were some of the nicest I had ever had.

The texture of the meat and it's flavour, was astonishing, quite unlike anything we had tasted before, and the sausages had an undefinable quality which attested to their freshness.

We left in the late afternoon, replete and honoured to have been asked to share in this fiesta – we admired the skill of the butcher and his knowledge. Later that evening, our neighbour called in with several kilos of meat as a gift for helping – it's traditional apparently and I have no argument with that tradition.

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 18

LA COMIDA CONTINUED

FROM PAGE

18

There are at least seventeen officially recognised varieties of sausage in Catalunya, and we made four types.

Botifarra - the most common of all - white botifarras are medium coarse in texture and were seasoned with salt and pepper with a few eggs stirred into the pork. Black botifarra is a blood sausage using bread soaked in the blood of the animal and sometimes rice is added.

They are boiled for 20 minutes to ‘set’ all the ingredients, and hung out to dry for a couple of hours.

They are traditionally served boiled and sliced, although I much prefer the fried a la Northern Black Pudding from the UK. Sobrassada is a smooth almost pate-like sausage flavoured with garlic and paprika, and is the speciality of Mallorca. It is bright orange.

Spread on toasted bread, it is very rich, and a little goes a long way. It is dry-cured - we have been given one which has to hang in our kitchen for at lest two weeks before we can use it.

Chorizo - heavily reliant on paprika, in our version they included garlic, salt and pepper. Another one to dry but for much longer than the sobrassada.

Fuet - again dried - this sausage contains mixed meats and only salt and pepper. It is dried and then sliced as a cold cut.

Meat Pate Buy a large jar ( or 2 small ) of meat pate of your choice and empty into a bowl, fry off a few chopped onions with a little chopped garlic and you can add a few chopped mushrooms if you wish, throw in a few chopped herbs, fresh or dried mix together and season to taste, chill for 30 minutes then enjoy with crusty bread,toast or add to a salad for a light meal, if you are entertaining pour a little melted butter over the top of the pate. Done.

Cinnamon Apples Slice some apples and cook off in a little water to which you have added a small amount of brown or white sugar a little cinnamon to taste and some sultana's or currants cook on low heat until soft about 10 minutes depending on type of apple, it is nice to keep a little bite to the apples, serve warm or cold with cream,yoghurt or ice-cream. I know it is too early to be reminded but they make you think of Christmas so are a nice quick winter pud.

Meat cooking Tip

LA SALUT CONTINUED

CHEAT’S CUISINE

FROM PAGE

17

SENC weekly recommendations for a healthy adult:

For many years I have always cooked my meat or chicken ( except for pork with crackling ) in about a inch of water this tip was given to me by an auntie after asking why her meat was always soooo moist and of course is healthier and ideal for watching your weight.

Oily fish (mackerel, sardines, tuna, salmon ...): 2 servings / week White fish (hake, grouper, monkfish, cod ...): 2 servings / week Eggs: 3 or 4 a week White meat (chicken, turkey, rabbit ...): 2 servings / week Red meat (beef, lamb, beef ...): 1-2 servings / week Nuts (almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts ...): 3-7 servings / week

Traditional Butchers since 1910 Specialists in Home Cured Meats

Legumes: 2-4 servings / week ARANCHA COROMINA DIETITIAN-NUTRITIONIST Simply text:- your name, the town you live in, your email address & your date of birth to:- 600 516 603 You could win : A necklace from the Vie Jewellery Collection, An Aromatherapy Massage

We supply Joints with the skin left on for Crackling Lamb - Pork - Beef - Chicken - and much more Sausages - Burgers - Meatballs Wide selection of Cheeses Home cooked pasta dishes - ready to eat Camarles (Main Shop) - C/27, 8 - Tel: 977 470 045 Deltebre - C/Sebastia Joan Arbo, 6 Tel: 977 480 633 Tortosa - Pl.Jaume 1, 1 Tel: 977 510 323

Fast-frozen vegetables and fish Specialising in seafood and bacalao

Los Co

Or a pamper session where you can try the latest innovations in skin care and cosmetics Ms. M. L. Wilcox Holistic Therapist, in conjunction with Vie at home.es

Camarles - c/ 27 , 22

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 19

el Paolo

ngelats d

A Skin Specialist Facial

A MISCELLANY The Xerta Citrus Fair which came into being only last year and was a great success, takes place again this year on the 6th and 7th March.

The main activity will once again be based around the Casal with numerous stands dedicated to citrus fruit and local cuisine. Xertolins and xertolines will be demonstrating local cooking techniques and preparing dishes including desserts typical to the area and Francesc Lopez, chef at the "Torreo de l'India", the restaurant at the Villa Retiro Hotel, who has recently received a Michelin star is expected to take part.

Visitors to the fair will be able to sample some of the dishes that restaurant owners and volunteers will prepare in the kitchens that are being especially set up for the occasion. In the central area other stands from Xerta and the Terres de l'Ebre will be offering food and drink to sample against the purchase of special tickets which can be bought on arrival.

As was the case last year, there will be a marquee on the sports ground outside the Casal and this will house the remaining exhibitors: various local councils, local associations and businesses, etc. No doubt photographs entered in the photography competition will once again be on display, the subject of which will come as no surprise: "THE ORANGE".

Should you not be fortunate enough to live in the 'orange belt' as we do, remember that until next month we still have available oranges and satsumas freshly-picked at 1 Euro per carrier bag (as well as home-made marmalade). Just e-mail kcordaroy@yahoo.com for more details.

Catalonian Properties New and Resale Properties, Large/Small Farms/Coastal, River/Countryside.

We have several clients looking for your property so give us a call if you want to sell it. www.catalonianproperties.com e-mail: terry_owen1@hotmail.com Tel/Fax: (0034) 977 470 924 Mobile: 606 813 219 or 615 316 722

MM MONE MAINTAINANCE Finca, House, Swimming Pools, Repairs, Decoration, Construction, Pruning and Garden Maintainance ENGLISH - SPANISH - CATALAN

For free estimates please call: claudiumone@hotmail.com 636 250 794

Beware the processional caterpillars! They make silken cocoon style nests in the pine trees and when on the ground, they form a line, hence their name. They

Fata Morgana Restaurante Pizzeria

Reservas: 977 460 707 619 757 648

Distribution Points.

A full list and map of all our collection locations is available on our web-site, and if you do not find one near enough to you, then please let us know.

Currently we have managed to place the paper in the following towns and villages.

L’Ampolla L’Amettla Camarles Amposta Tortosa Miravet Tres Calas El Perello Cambrils

Salou Hospitalet Reus Airport Alcossebre Ulldecona Flix Xerta Riba-Roja Mora D’Ebre

Peniscola Benifallet Miami Platja Gandesa Bitem Vinaros ... with more to come

Riddle Answer The room with the lions is the safest - as they have not eaten for three years, they they will be very dead.

Last Months’s Crossword Solution Across: 1 Estuary English, 10 Radii, 11 Deadly sin, 12 Tally-ho, 13 Toffees, 14 Nabob, 16 Organ loft, 19 Magic eyes, 20 Hatch, 22 Fairway, 25 Rip-offs, 27 Itinerant, 28 Snail, 29 Greetings cards.

Down: 2 Saddlebag, 3 Unify, 4 Radiology, 5 Enact, 6 Goldfinch, 7 Issue, 8 Handset, 9 Cretin, 15 Buckwheat, 17 Gastritis, 18 Out of hand, 19 Miffing, 21 Hassle, 23 In ice, 24 Yearn, 26 Pasta.

Horarios: De Lunes a Domingo de 13:00 a 15:00 y de 19:00 a 23:30. Sábado mediodía cerrado Plaza del Club Náutico 43895 L'Ampolla

Entrantes Pastas Pizzas en horno de leña Carnes Pescados Menu diario

PANELS / WIND TURBIN R A L ES SO EXPLO ESPAÑA We supply complete installations – direct import.

Solar Panels 800W, Regulator, Inverter, Batteries 3.950€ Wind Turbine: 500W/1.120€ - 1.000W/1.620€ 2.000W/2.150€ Generator diesel aut. start/stop/charger/inverter 1.590€ Incl. IVA delivered Camarles www.notjustolives.com/explo Mobil:644 24 3415 / vpeetz@gmail.com

MASSATGE a 11 punt 11 ►THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE ►SPORTS MASSAGE ►RELAXING MASSAGE ►BEAUTY MASSAGE ►SHIATSU

► LYMPHATIC DRAINAGE

(VODDER METHOD) ► RESONANCE

WAVE PRESSURE, ►OINTMENTS THE ALTERNATIVE TO ►CREAMS LIPOSUCTION, TONING, ►GELS WEIGHT-REDUCING ACTION ►LOTIONS Tel 977 58 11 11 ►OILS Plz Joaquin Bau 13 Near Mercadona ►EMULSION www.oncepuntonce.com Tortosa ►EROTIC COSMETICS

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 20

PASSATEMPS Cryptic Prize Crossword

Word Search - with a St. Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day feel to it.

Little Britain â&#x201A;Ź10 voucher for the first correct solution. Please email or post it to us, with your name and telephone number.

Belfast Blarney Bog Boston Dublin Emerald Erin Fiddlers Gaelic Gold Green Guinness Ireland Irish Isle Jig Killarny Leprechaun Limerick Michael Mona Paddy Parade Patrick Peat Potato Rainbow Shamrock Slainte Snakes Stone

Down

Across 1 Closure device, a foot and a timepiece without charlie (7)

1 Musical instrument, soft (5)

5 Gap between an island (5)

2 Image recording device, of fingers to begin with (7,6)

8 Supporting the Anglican Church (5-8)

3 Without smell, (9)

9 Away, extinguished, available (3)

4 Bears, issue a knockout sadly (6)

10 A curse for the modern motorist, it surely does not (9)

5 Tree money without college head (3)

12 A person who travels by foot (6)

6 Tie yourself down and show signs of this (4-9)

13 Pleasantly occupied, a poet with an old penny (6)

7 Cut out the bad part (7)

15 Soft woollen fabric, these mate for life, and then go lower (5,4)

11 Had many amourous affairs, this lady is in the printing world (9)

16 A groove, not a good place to be stuck in (3)

12 Sad (7)

18 Unconscious gaffes, Austrian womens underclothing (8,5)

14 A foul of sorts in a summer game, missing a round object (2,4)

20 Foliaceous, page at a journey's end (5)

17 Flavour, style, a strong liking, take a sample of (5)

21 Noisy young woman, boy denoting small size (7)

19 Humorously sarcastic or mocking, lacking moisture (3)

Easy

Medium

Hard - 234567890 used

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 21

INFORMATION Que? Monthly look at some differences between Catalan and Spanish words English March Listen Let´s see doctor parents brother sister chocolate Herbal tea tea Orange Wine juice

Spanish Marzo Escucha A ver....

El medico Los padres El hermano La hermana chocolate La infusion El te La naranja El vino El zumo

Catalan Marc Escolta A veure....

El metge Els pares El germa La germana La xocolata La infusio El te La taronja El vi El suc

Advertising Rates To advertise in the next edition of the Catalunya Chronicle we would need your copy before the 10th of February 2010.

Personal Classified Ads are FREE up to a maximum of 35 words, and subject to a maximum sales value of €1000.

Business Classified ads start at €15, subject to size.

Whether you have your artwork or not, included in the price we offer a design service and we will endeavour to match your requirements.

The cost of advertising is €0.80 per square centimetre, and there is a 10% discount for a six month run. This price includes IVA ( at 16%).

Let people know you are in business - can you afford not to?

The Catalunya Chronicle C / Martirs 6, 43500, Tortosa, Tarragona, Spain.

Website: www.chroniccat.com email: info@chroniccat.com Telephone: 636 292 568 (Chris) or 646 353 442 (Tim) Deposito Legal: T-1528-2009 Circulation: 4,000 this month

No part of this document may be reproduced without written consent from the paper.

The Catalunya Chronicle cannot be held responsible for the contents of the articles supplied by it’s contributors, nor for the claims made by it’s advertisers.

Trademarks and Copyright are held by their respective owners.

We would like to thank all our contributors, article writers and advertisers for all their fabulous support.

(1000 more than last month - whoopee)

Printed by: Lerigraf sl

Copyright © The Catalunya Chronicle 2010 All Rights Reserved.

What’s On Sunday 28th February 2010 L’AMPOLLA BOOT SALE 10.00am – 1.00pm Camping St Jordi, Platje Ayellanes, L’Ampolla. Tel: 679 115 247 Friday 5th March 2010 CLASSIC CAR MEETING 6.00pm For new location and more details call 678 718 446 .

Saturday 6th March 2010 FREESIA GROUP BOOK SALE Homogenik, El Perello.

Saturday 6th March 2010 - 14th March 2010 FIESTAS DE LA MAGDALENA, CASTELLON Various events throughout the week. For further information go to www.castellonturismo.com Sunday 7th March 2010 MORA BOOT SALE 9.00am – 1.30pm at C/Garcia Restaurant Braseria, Can Palomo, Mora La Nova.

Thursday 11th March 2010 INTERNATIONAL SPEAKING GROUP MEETING 6.30pm at Edificio Bahia Blanca C/Paisos Catalans, 74 L'Ametlla De Mar. For more details please call 977 267 418 or email enetlametlla@yahoo.com.

Sunday 14th March 2010 TORTOSA FRIENDSHIP CLUB 10.00am Meeting for all nationalities at Parky’s in Rival Di Christ. Contact Brian Parkin on 660 990 422 or 977 059 911 for more info.

HIPACA ESCORNALBOU, VILANOVA, D’ESCORNALBOU BOOT SALE. Sellers 9 am, Buyers 10am, Bar & Restaurant - No fresh produce allowed. Contacts: Cosme on 620 215 772 or Silvia 665 159 781.

CHURCH OF ENGLAND CHURCH SERVICE 12.30pm L'Ampolla Village Church. All welcome. Followed by optional Menu Del Dia Lunch. Enquires 977 593 219 Saturday 20th March 2010 ARCA TABLE TOP SALE 10am until 2pm Bar Estacion,L'Ampolla to raise money for Arca Dog Refuge Centre.

FREESIA GROUP BOOK SALE Homogenik, El Perello.

Sunday 21st March 2010 MORA CARAVANS, MORA CAR BOOT SALE Sellers 9.00 am Buyers 10.00am C12, km 61 Mora La Nova – Ginestar All enquiries to 977 400 375 / 659 418 317 Wednesday 24th March 2010 CHURCH OF ENGLAND CHURCH SERVICE 12.30pm L'Ampolla Village Church. All welcome. Followed by an optional Menu Del Dia Lunch. Enquiries: 977 593 219 Sunday 28th March 2010 L’AMPOLLA BOOT SALE 10.00am – 1.00pm Camping St Jordi, Platje Ayellanes, L’Ampolla. Tel: 679 115 247

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 22

CLASSIFIED SECTION Personal MUSIC LESSONS, Miravet Teacher: Jennifer Anne Figuerola, (English) Piano, keyboard, violin, Theory of Music Royal Associated Board Examinations possible Individual half hour lesson plus 15 mins aurals 10€ Tel: 977407540/654875163 FOR SALE Baby’s Pram €200 Brand New, can be used as baby car seat, pram and then pushchair, three in one.

Dark orange and grey, perfect condition.

Miami Playa 977262697 buckleyalicia1@gmail.com BACKACHE? VARICOSE VEINS? FROZEN SHOULDER? TENNIS ELBOW? FEEL THE RELIEF MULTI-LEVEL THAI MASSAGE A drug-free procedure, suitable for men, women or children.

Initial consultation 20€; Subsequent individual treatments, 30€ Contact Floreal Figuerola in Miravet: 977407540 675071794 FOR SALE Baby’s Large Crib €70 on wheels(can be wheeled around the house) made in Germany, comes with lemon dressing Miami Playa 977262697 buckleyalicia1@gmail.com FOR SALE Trace & Invertor Charger 1.5 KVA Very Good Condition 490 Euros ono.

Telephone 650 318 700 FOR SALE Motorbike - Suzuki 50 cc Yellow Spanish reg. price 275 euro . tel 637.937.63

Home Massage L’Ampolla Area ~ Therapeutic ~ ~ Relaxing ~ ~ Thai Massage ~ ~ Shiatsu ~ Call Fina 669 110 719 Only €30

FOR SALE Baby's Pink Bath and Changing Mat €60 on a stand with wheels and shelves so that all is at hand, also has pipe fixed to bath for easy emptying Miami Playa 977262697 buckleyalicia1@gmail.com FOR SALE Electric Cement Mixer €150 two years old. Privately owned had little use. Cost over 300€ View Mora d Ebre.

Telephone 669 079999 PICK YOUR OWN CITRUS FRUIT Pick your own Xerta Satsumas and oranges for just 1 Euro per carrier bag Tel 977 473278 for directions

WANTED Looking to rent ideally a three bedroom house, suitable for family, with caretaking and maintenance duties considered.

Tortosa Area.

Please Call 630 533 548.

NVQ 3 Qualified Care Worker Available for home help / respite care

Diagnosed with Cancer? or had Cancer in the past?

We are a support group who meet once a month & keep in touch to share, care & support each other.

Contact Charlotte cancershock@yahoo.co.uk or 622 553446 WANTED Musicians wanted for male and female vocalists, keyboard, lead guitar,rythm etc. Influences Rock, Country, Stones, Quo, Diamond. Jam sessions with view to Gigging.

Phone Peter 977473008 or 652995723 FOR SALE Generator automatic start/stop due to battery charge. From 999€+IVA Viggo Peetz 644 24 3415 / vpeetz@gmail.com COMPACT TRACTOR SIROMER 204s 25 BHP 4 WD, POWER STEERING, SHUTTLE GEARBOX, 5 YEARS OLD, GOOD WORKING ORDER, VERY GOOD WIDE TYRES, GREAT LITTLE TRACTOR, DELIVERY POSSIBLE €4,100 OVNO (COST €7,000 NEW) TEL: 610 550 371 (FLIX)

El Perello/L'Ampolla/ Tortosa & Amposta areas

FOR SALE Panasonic Digital TV 28 €70 ono Silver 5 years old L’Ampolla Area Phone 977 460 043

Contact Hazel on 638430338 hazeearnest@hotmail. com or for Vinaros/Benicarlo call Dot on 600564097

FOR SALE Petrol driven water pump Offers 4" bore. Static unit - buyer to collect. Any reasonable offer considered.

Telephone 669 079999

FOR SALE Studer inverter 12 volts.

2 years old new price 1850 euro s. price 975 euro s.

Tel: 637.937.637 FOR SALE Large amounts of plumbing and electrical material buy the lot or what you need guarantee less than 50% of the cost tel 634162387

FOR SALE High sided Trailer €350 100cm X 100cm X 70cm incl. spare wheel and cover.

Inside base wood covered.

Ideal for building materials, olives, carobs etc Tel 977473008 or 652995723

Also 24/7 house/pet sitting

FOR SALE 20 x 2 metre fencing poles €150 for all 20 or €10 each.

Call 977 059 101

Beautiful watercolour paintings of your pet or your house.

The perfect special gift and an exclusive work of art to treasure always. Price €38.

For further information call Rosalind on 664 721 744

FOR HIRE All types of Agricultural Work undertaken by experienced farmer. Trees sprayed and pruned. Land Cleared Help with Livestock.

Has own tractor.

No job too small.

Call Davide on 680 150 309 (Spanish) or 636 292 568 (English) FOR SALE 220/240 approx Plastic roof tiles (Unbreakable & strong) 2 sheets MDF 1.2 m x 2.00m & a quantity of Decking.

Any reasonable offers.

Phone 670395754 FOR SALE Dining Table and Chairs €390 o.n.o.

Dark wood dining table with 4 brown real leather chairs for sale. Perfect condition, hardly used - can deliver Miami Playa 977262697 buckleyalicia1@gmail.com FOR SALE Job lot complete clearance of floor and wall tiles latest models tel 634162377 FOR SALE Outboard Motor Mariner/Mercury 15hp LS 4 stroke. Superb condition, 1000 euros Andy 600890453 Tortosa Free to a good home.

New home urgently wanted for 2 yo British Bulldog called Lily.Good temperament, full pedigree and fully innoculated.

Genuine reason for need to rehome.

Please call 977 810 392 FOR SALE TOWN HOUSE, MIRAVET Ideal B&B 4 ensuite double bedrooms Roof Terrace,Garage 275 000€ Tel: 977407540/ 675071794

HOLIDAY RENTAL MORA D´EBRE. Traditional village house.

Small courtyard, terrace and balcony. Close to shops, river and mountains plus only 30 mins drive away from beautiful beaches.

35€ per night all year round.

Sleeps 4.

Tel: 977414188/670287358

FOR SALE 3 large water deposits 1000 LTRS 50 euros each tel 634162377 FOR SALE 100 acaroids buy what you need 3 euros each and large amount of metal fencing 5 euros a sheet tel 634162377 FOR SALE Gas Water Heater Edesa 95€ Mobile Gas Heater Ufesa 55€ Both in Perfect condition, Butane Cylinders included. L'Ametlla De Mar 628 283 861 WANTED Gas fridge, gas cooker, gas bottles (yellow butane) wanted offer to vpeetz@gmail.com or mobile: 644 24 3415 FOR SALE DIY and builder’s kit for sale.

Power tools, scaffold, barrows, pumps, props.

Near L’Aldea. Please call for a full list 629 010233 FOR SALE SUBARU LEGACY GX 4WD AUTO PETROL ESTATE CAR 1995 N REG RHD TOWBAR/ELECTRICS 6STACK CD PLAYER ALARM 88000 MILES GOOD ALL ROUND CONDITION 895 EUROS TEL 626641078 FOR SALE Electric Cement MixerGood working order.

125.00 euros Telephone 977 456 915 FOR SALE DREAM CONVERTED BARN, DORDOGNE, FRANCE 3 beds/2 bath/2 reception, one with huge fireplace, garden, well,.....

Bargain, 275 000€ Tel: 977407540/654875163 FOR SALE Finca of 4 journales in Filato, Camarles.

Good location with casa.

Two bedrooms, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, garage etc.

Has Olive and Carob trees.

Good price.

Tel: 626 111 368 Lost Sense of Humour - last seen 15 years ago. Disappeared at the same time as my marbles. If found please call 636292568

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 23

THE FINAL WORD Doh! My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the girl a £5 note.

Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a twenty pence piece. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but that way you can just give me a pound back.' She was puzzled and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'

The girl then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change!

Do not confuse the staff at MacD's.

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Madam, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two…'

We haven't used Garador repair since.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local town council office to request the removal of the "DEER CROSSING" sign on our road. She said the reason was: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,"'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

It was a beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon while Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf. On the first tee-box, Moses pulls out his driver and blisters a shot up the right side of the fairway, rolling fast towards a water hazard. Moses quickly raised his club, parting the water while his ball rolls through to the other side safely.

Next up on the tee, Jesus hits a really long drive right towards the very same water hazard. His ball came to rest dead centre of the pond, hovering just over the surface of the water. Jesus casually walks out onto the pond, and chips it up onto the green within a couple feet of the flag.

Not impressed, the third guy steps up to the tee without taking any time and just randomly whacks at the ball.

Rightfully so, the ball is hit with a nasty hook that clears the left OB markers and goes over a fence into oncoming traffic. It bounces off a truck's windshield hitting a nearby tree, bounces onto the roof of the green keeper's shed, back out onto the fairway and towards the same pond that Moses and Jesus hit. Before it gets wet, the ball ricochets off a small rock and bounces onto a lily pad on over the water when a bullfrog jumped up and ate the ball. Right at that moment, a bald eagle swoops down and grabs the frog, flying away. As it flew over the green, the frog squeals with fright and drops the ball right next to the flag, taking one bounce and landing in the cup for an astounding hole in one.

In disgust, Moses then turns to Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your Dad."

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a Local County Councillor When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!'

His reply: 'I know. I have already done that side.'

A coach party were out for the day, stopped off at a refreshment halt in Hertfordshire and queued up for tea and coffee. One group asked for "Six decaffeinated please.” To which the girl replied: "Sorry, we only do coffee!"

STAY ALERT! They walk among us, and the scary part is that they have the RIGHT TO VOTE and to REPRODUCE!

ESTATE AGENTS

We go that extra mile to ensure your move runs smooth!

URGENTLY WANTED - PROPERTIES FOR SALE IN L’AMPOLLA & L’AMETTLA DE MAR

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 24