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Letter from the Editor

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MANAGING EDITOR

ow the year has flown by! Are you saying the same as we are, or thinking the same thing, that the year has gone by so quickly? Well it is true. Unbelievable, but true - Christmas is here again. Is that possible?

How time flies.

The season of giving is here! We do not want to label giving to only this part of the year, but it is seen that there is a frequency, during this time, for a lot of giving and sharing. Will we still have room to give, due to the slowing down of the economy, not only in the Cayman Islands, but the world over? We want to encourage you that it is during tough times you should give, and give even more. It is in giving that we receive.

Take a ‘leap of faith’.

And giving is not limited to your finances. Kahlil Gibran says, “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”

Is staying on budget during this slow time a struggle for you? Check out the article Budget Buster on page 20 in this issue. It is our hope to encourage you, not only spiritually, but in other areas as well. And as you try to stay on budget, David McGee reminds us, “What we spend, we lose. What we keep will be left for others. What we give away will be ours forever.”

Friends and family, we want to implore you to give to each other not only finances or gifts, but the love and respect we all deserve, and crave.

We can get so busy and focused on giving gifts at this time that often our patience runs out with our loved ones, or even strangers on the street, and we forget that “the love of Christ constraineth us”.

As Christmas draws nearer and nearer, remember the ‘gift of forgiveness’. As one writer said, let us remind ourselves that great gifts are like the one Gift – the Gift that started it all in Bethlehem of Judea.

You can’t buy these gifts, and they’re not on anybody’s shopping list.

They come as He came – quietly, freely and unexpectedly – and if you’re not careful, you’ll miss them entirely.

I want to leave you with this thought as you prepare for this season of Christmas, and to kick start the New Year: “Don’t wait for other people to be loving, giving, compassionate, grateful, forgiving, generous, or friendly... lead the way!”

Have a blessed Christmas, everyone.

Karen E. Chin

Karen E. Chin CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Andrés Giovanni Ramos Christopher Tobutt Ewart Forde Hyacinth Rose (Pastor) Karlene Stewart Krystyna Chin Ralph F. Wilson (Dr.) Sharon Williams Talya Gayle Special contribution Danielle Niednagel Greg Smalley John William Smith Lynn Marie Hurado Marie Armenia GRAPHIC PRODUCTION ideas Graphic Studio SALES DEPARTMENT Email: clmsales@candw.ky Christian Lifestyle Magazine Unit 3, Building G, Countryside Shopping Village Savannah, Grand Cayman CAYMAN ISLANDS C: 1 (345) 926-2507 E: karen.chin@cstylemagazine.com www.cstylemagazine.com To contact the editor If you have questions, wish to comment, or participate, or be a contributor; please contact The Editor, c/o Christian Lifestyle Magazine, Box 1217 KY1-1108 Grand Cayman, CAYMAN ISLANDS BWI. Send email to editor@cstylemagazine.com.

Website www.cstylemagazine.com

THE GIFT OF FORGIVENESS

contents

C O V E R S T O R Y

issue

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22 INNOCENCE LOST

SOMETIMES

COMMUNICATING

12

IS TOUGH! 8

6 A Christmas Story 10 Teen Vibez

• Unplugged for the Holidays

• But You Did It (pt 2)

• Ten Things Teens Wish Adults New

16 18 20 26 28 30

One Little Indian Boy Creating a Safe Marriage Budget Busters Jesus, My Friend Stepping Stones to Victory Review The God of the Little Problems

32 BEHIND THE SCENE 34 It’s Just a Thought:

35 36 37 38

40 PUZZLE 42 Wordsearch 43 Something To

Like Father BAJO LA LUZ DE LA LAMPARA Give the Gift of Memory Christmas Quotes Caymanian Honored for Religious Service in Jamaica

Think About 44 Puzzle Answer

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fa m i ly l i v i n g

A Christmas Story

B y P astor H yacinth R ose

Christmas is undoubtedly one of the most favorite times of the year for many families and in many households. Some people seem so focused on wishing “Peace on earth, goodwill to all men” in a sincere effort to generate a feeling of warmth and love to all, particularly at this time of the year, and the story of God’s love is translated into our daily lives, just for the season at least, with heartwarming stories like the one told here.

This Christmas story was reported to have really occurred years ago on a freezing cold night in Chicago.

It speaks of love, compassion and a miracle that could only have happened because there were those who were willing to open their hearts. Could this story have been your story? Or would you have been too busy to spend the time and effort to make a difference.

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The author of the story tells of that Christmas Eve night, when having finished her baking and cooking, was hurrying along with her husband to sing with the choir at the late church service to end at midnight.

They were already running late, and the night was so cold and windy, that had it not been for the importance of the occasion, they would have stayed at home!

However, here they were awaiting the bus to get them to the church instead.

As they stood there waiting, they noticed a little family huddled together in that bus shelter. They looked poor and defenseless. Their clothes were worn and scarcely able to keep out the cold Chicago winds. Father, mother and a tiny baby bundled up, protecting themselves under that shelter, against the harsh cold weather. Shyly as if expecting to be rebuffed, the man looked up and asked if the couple knew if there was any available shelter around

because they were from out of town and desperately needed a place for the night.

The husband and wife looked at their watches, hesitated a bit and then made a decision. A baby out in this cold? They knew of no place, but if they could just get that new family warm while they themselves hurried on to the service, when they came home again they would sort it all out.

They all hurried to the home which was a short distance away. The couple hastened to offer a warm drink to the little family and a warm blanket for the baby. They were ushered into a bedroom which once belonged to their grown son.

The couple explained that they were about to go the service at the church but would hurry back as soon as it was over.

As they hurried on to catch another bus, they were very strangely aware that this was a curious situation and they contemplated the events that were unfolding before them.

They kept thinking that this was Christmas Eve, and here was a strange family needing shelter. Here was a father, a mother and a baby looking for a room!

Was this a coincidence?

Was this an instance of entertaining angels unawares?

They could not keep the thoughts out of their minds, nor were they able to concentrate on the service at hand. At last they were free to return home and as they hurried into the house what a surprise awaited them!

As they approached, the home they could see a candle flickering in the window.

Hurrying into the house they saw a perfectly quiet place with no guests in sight! They called but there was no answer.

They looked but there was no one; no father, no mother and no baby. They had left the home clean and tidy and the bedroom undisturbed, but there was a strange glow about the room not merely from the candle, but the very atmosphere seemed charged with something beautiful and peaceful.

No one could explain that incident, but we are told to be hospitable to strangers because we might be entertaining angels unawares.

This story is true. It really happened. Could it happen to you?

We do not know what peace and joy we may bring to others this Christmas season,

but in reaching out to others, who knows how we ourselves might be blessed and perhaps, have our own Christmas Story?

May God bless you and

your families this joyous Christmas season and go before you with guidance and strength into the New Year!

From Pastors Winston and Hyacinth Rose and family.

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c o m m u n i c a t ING

SOMETIMES

COMMUNICATING

IS TOUGH! B y S haron W illiams

Do you ever sometimes feel that you are not being heard, specifically when you are talking about something serious? Does it feel that people are hearing, but not listening?! Did you even think there was a difference? Hearing is simply the act of perceiving sound by the ear. Listening, however, is something we consciously choose to do. It takes focus, concentration, patience and practice.

Clearly,listening takes work and hearing does not. Dr. Ralph Nichols states “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” For some of us active listening comes naturally, but for others, it takes practice.

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Here are a few statistics to show us the importance of listening: • • •

Peter Drucker, a management guru, claims that 60 percent of all management problems are a result of faulty communication; A leading divorce lawyer says that the underlying cause of more than 50 percent of all divorces is poor communication; and A recent educational study reported that one of the major reasons more teens die today from violence than from disease is because of miscommunication.

How do we listen?

• • • •

• • •

•

• •

Let us watch a person’s body language.

Unspoken cues can say more than words; Let us make eye contact. This indicates we are paying attention and decreases external distractions; Let us not interrupt; Let us listen to every last word. Focus on what the speaker is saying, not on what we are going to say once the person stops talking. As author and speaker Joyce Meyer says, “God gave us two ears and one mouth, what do you think God wants us to do more?”

Let us pause to process. Take a moment to absorb what we just heard and think of an appropriate response; Let us ask questions. Clarify information we are unsure about and show the other person our support; Let us listen deeply to what the person is saying in an effort to find a solution, instead of collecting evidence to build our case; Let us not take things personally.

Let us not focus on our feelings. It is not a matter of who is right and who is wrong, it is a matter of staying connected; Let us not feel like we have to “fix” the problem. Some people just want a non-judgemental “ear” and; Let us be attentive when listening and ensure that our facial expressions reflect our interest.

How to communicate: •

• Why do we need to listen?

• • • • • • •

To better understand people and what is expected of us; To build a rapport with co-workers, bosses, and friends; To show support; To work better in a team-based work environment and at home; To resolve problems with co-workers, and bosses and friends; To answer questions constructively; and To find underlying meaning in what others are saying.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise.

- Proverbs 12:15

• • • •

•

By speaking in a heartfelt and gentle manner. Think about how to raise our concerns and needs without hurting the other person; By being constructive and effective.

Arguments, rude comments and insults are all methods of communication, but they are not loving ones; By making it clear what we are wishing to convey from the beginning of the conversation; By staying on topic, make sure everything we are saying pertains to the conversation; By avoiding mumbling; By speaking in a calm voice. Don’t yell or make accusations at the other party.

Let them know we have heard their point and understand their side. It is not what we say but how we say it; By trying not to finish the “argument” at all costs. If the person walks out of the room, do not follow them. Allow them to do so and let them return

•

• •

when they are calmer and ready to talk; and By trying not to get the last word in.

This could lead to a power struggle that may not end. Sometimes, we have to agree to disagree and move on; By remembering communication is a two-way street - listening and sharing; and By organising and clarifying ideas in our mind BEFORE attempting to communicate these ideas.

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath- James 1:19 What happens when we communicating effectively: • •

• •

are

not

This can lead to bitterness, resentment and the holding of grudges; This can lead to misconceptions.

What may have initially been a minor problem can turn into a major one if there is miscommunication or lack of communication; This can lead to arguments, rude comments and insults; they will get us nowhere; and This can lead to tension, stress and hurt feelings.

Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.

- Proverbs 21:23 What happens when we are communicating effectively: • • • • • •

We interact with people in a meaningful, sincere way; We show our genuine concern for what the person is saying; We enjoy life with friends and family much more; We reduce the stress in our life; We contribute to an overall feeling of well being; and We lessen our unrealistic expectations of each other.

A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is! - Proverbs 15:23 The next time we have a conversation with our parent, spouse, child, family member, friend or colleague, become an active listener and help build those important relationships in our life.

Listening Takes Practice – so let us all start practicing. We might be pleasantly surprised at what we can learn if we are truly listening.

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Unplugged for the Holidays I remember childhood excitement over our holiday traditions. Door-todoor caroling—seeing those surprised stranger faces come to the door, the church Christmas pageant, visiting shut-ins— viewing their pleasure as they looked into our little faces and held our small hands.

And Christmas—morning hearing the sound of the Hallelujah Chorus that would break our anxious waiting, summoning us downstairs.

Now I have my own little family, and traditions I’m hoping to create. But I find I have a competitor that my mother never had to face. It comes by many names. In our house the distracting foe is called Tablet. Maybe in your house it’s called iPad. Whatever its name, are you up for the challenge to help these moldable young minds capture the real reason for this season? Certainly our electronic gadgets offer us many helpful uses, but I know from experience how, in my overwhelmed distraction with the season’s demands, my lack of oversight lets the gadgets gobble my children up.

Children are like water; they flow the path of least resistance. Often against a torrent of complaints, as I pull Tablet from their hands, I must insist they get out of the house and ride their bikes for “just five minutes.”

P re d i c t a b l y, they come in all shiningfaced and breathless after staying out for more than thirty, having enjoying themselves tremendously! In my 5-year- old son’s words, “We got all the leaves in a pile, and that was our house. And the hammock was our school where we taught each other things, and our two favorite chickens “Lovey” and “Curious” were our children.

Then we put grain in our hands and let them peck at it...”

Unplug for the holidays! When those little addicted faces complain that there’s 10 Issue No. 6 - 2013

nothing to do, direct them toward the door. Set their creative minds free from all the indoor waves and wires and into the great outdoors where they inevitably find their greatest real-life adventures awaiting.

Hold the animals, run, play, swing! Go on a nature walk with a list of items to find – the one who brings in the most gets the prize!

I asked my 8-year-old daughter for her “unplugged” contribution: “painting with my Auntie Johanna when she comes for a visit, sharing a tea-party with friends in the tree house, having my cousins come over after school, sleepovers at Grandma’s house, making a tent with brother between our beds, sewing ‘yo-yo flowers’ with the kids at Bible Study while the parents are talking; these are a few of my favorite things!”

Let them experience real life this season in a more meaningful way. Provide library books on the real Saint Nicholas, the first Christmas tree, and the Nativity. Encourage them to draw a scene inspired by the season, and give it away to the oldest member in your church. For older children, prompt them to write a letter of thankfulness to someone who’s blessed their life. Or, using their skills, prepare a handmade gift for a teacher or grandparent. Bake Christmas cookies for a neighbor. Take time to write a joyful prayer of praise to God for sending

His Son Jesus. Prepare and perform a skit telling the story of the Shepherds visiting the baby in the manger. Assist in making simple Mary and Joseph-inspired doll clothes. Get that imagination in gear and build a Lego Bethlehem! Play a board game. Memorize the Christmas story as recorded in Luke chapter two. Sing carols as a family. Let this holiday season be truly memory making, fun, and unplugged!

Danielle Niednagel Mother of three delights Wife of one true-love Cookbook author: From the Kitchen of Two Sisters; A Satisfying New Approach to Slimness, Vitality, and Health! www.thetwosisters.com

But You Did It! B y M arie A rmenia

(Part 2 of 2)

The story continues: “If you are going to have any kind of communication with your teenagers, you must be willing to share your real self with them, not just the ideal self you would like to have them think you are. If you are going to enter the private world of your teenagers, you must be brave enough to be open and to relate some of the realities and complexities of your own life.”

Really? Be real?

Keep it Real If your teen isn’t being open with you, Mom and Dad, the hypocrisy you see may be your own. How can we expect our teenager to be “real” with a “false” parent?

Bill Sanders, well-known Christian speaker and author on teen-parent relationships writes, “You people today seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to knowing if someone’s for real. Without any trouble they can pick up on the person who isn’t sincere.”

Many parents find that being honest with their teenagers brings a true sense of freedom to their relationships.

“I don’t have a hard time at all talking to my two teenage daughters because I have always kept it ‘real’”, says Camilla Kleindienst, who owns Banner Music Company with her husband, Daniel.

“I don’t over react when they tell me something that could be a little shocking.

Daniel and I always try to relay that we aren’t going to freak out when/if

something happens. I use ‘timing’ as an important thing in a relationship to get the very best result.”

Why do some parents feel the need to present themselves in a false light, while others have no trouble being transparent?

Being real has its root, as with all things, in our spiritual well being.

Keep it Humble Dr. Leman reminded us that we’re often hardest on people who commit “our pet sins”. We hate seeing in our children the weakness we hate seeing (or

avoid seeing?) in ourselves. Real humility before our children is not something we should avoid, but something we should embrace.

“I don’t tell my children all the details that I have done, but they know that I have broken all of the Ten Commandments,” says the Rev. K. W. Griepp, senior pastor of Grace Church in Brooklyn, New York.

“The issue is this: When you find out your child has sinned, are you embarrassed?

Or are you snapped into the reality that your spiritual impact on their lives is not cont ’ d on p. 3 9

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Innocence Lost

Helping our kids deal with harmful cultural messages When the new neighbors’ girl showed up at Jonathan and Amanda Witt’s door asking if their 11-year-old daughter could play, Amanda thought nothing of it. Amanda called her daughter and one of her sons and sent them out to get acquainted. The kids played all morning, had lunch together at the Witts’ house, then went back outside.

But Amanda’s kids soon came running in with an announcement. “Her mother is a lesbian,” her 7-year-old son declared.

Amanda grieved not only for the partial loss of her young children’s innocence, but also for the girl who brought this unwelcome knowledge into their lives. The girl had cried when she told Amanda’s children about her mother, fearing that they would no longer be allowed to play with her.

“Our kids are exposed to all sorts of things through the neighborhood children — including divorce, chronic lying and alcoholism,” Amanda said. “On two separate occasions, my kids have come inside upset because a friend was surreptitiously crying after his mother left the family the night before.”

That’s the kind of situation more and more parents are finding themselves in, often earlier than they had anticipated. The Witts’ story illustrates the difficulty of preserving children’s innocence in a culture that seems eager to destroy it.

Cultural targets The media’s assault on our kids’ nnocence has become increasingly explicit and

12 Issue No. 6 - 2013

intrusive. From TV to movies, from music to the Internet, popular culture saturates kids’ lives. The messages are sometimes blatant (such as the celebration of premarital sex) and sometimes subtle (such as disrespect for parents and other authorities). And what kids don’t get from the media, they hear at school, often in explicit sex-education courses.

As Michael and Diane Medved wrote in their book Saving Childhood, “The very idea of parental protectiveness has been overwhelmed by relentless pressure from a society that seems determined to expose its young to every perversion and peril in an effort to ‘prepare’ them for a harsh, dangerous future.”

A welcome guideline But the Witts’ children don’t watch TV, and they’re home-schooled. Still, there’s no way to protect them completely from the perversion of the world.

“Kids know that sin hurts people; they’ve seen it hurt them,” Amanda said.

“So when we talk with our children, we underline that: Sin hurts. We all sin, but we’d all be better off if we didn’t. We’d be better off if we always listened to God, who knows best.”

Amanda’s approach offers a welcome guideline for parents trying to deal with the flood of information dumped on their

kids too soon. While protective measures, such as carefully screening videos, are important, perhaps even more critical is teaching children how to deal with the world’s harsh realities.

How can a parent do this? Not by avoiding the culture, but by teaching God’s view of cultural messages. It sounds simple, but too many parents, even Christian parents, don’t do it.

Amanda wrote in an essay for Touchstone magazine: “I’ve been . . . remembering a remark that the wife of one of our church elders made: ‘My two girls were raised carefully. We taught them God’s Word and took them to church, and they’re good girls, going to Christian colleges, doing summer mission work.

But when it comes to homosexuality, there was just too much pressure — at school and on TV — to think the Bible is old-fashioned. Just the sheer weight of opinion wore them down’. “ A God’s-eye view Parents can listen to the messages kids are hearing, then teach them to step back

and ask themselves, What does God think about this, and what does that mean for me? This approach establishes a strong foundation for them to stand on as they make moral choices.

But it does even more than that. It also teaches them to take a God’s-eye view of others — to understand that all people are created in God’s image and are loved

by God, which is the approach the Witts took with the new neighbors.

The Witts continued to show hospitality to the girl and let the children play with her — as long as she did not try to persuade them that her mother’s behavior was acceptable. Thanks to their influence, the child learned to see Christians not as the judgmental people she had feared they were, but as loving friends.

“Children ideally need a time of innocence, a time when you’re establishing in them and around them a healthy, God-governed life,” Amanda said. “They need to experience that as the norm. They need to have friends for whom that’s the norm. At the same time, it’s better for a child to learn about other worldviews and lifestyles while still under close parental supervision, while we can cue them on how to respond.”

Teach kids the value of guarding their hearts from the sinful culture and also demonstrating God’s unconditional love for the perpetrators and victims of that culture. We can teach our kids not to fear the culture but to turn things around — to capture the culture for Christ.

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Ten things teens wish adults knew Part 2 of 2

What would it be like to get into the minds of your students and know - really know - what it is that they wanted you to know?

Last time, we began such a look into ten things that teens wished we, as adults, knew. Here are the final five things.

6. Don’t try to look and act like us.

- We will be changing to something else soon anyway.

We are not going to look and act like this very long, and by the time you start switching your style, we will move onto some other look. What we really want and need from you is some love, support, correction, and discipline.

14 Issue No. 6 - 2013

Make it as “easy-to-stomach” as you can, but we are looking for some standards and guidelines that are fair, but that you will not compromise on.

Hold us accountable to reasonable standards and ones that we all agree on. We like to take part in determining what the expectations are for us. If you want to wear something sort of goofy, we do not care, as long as you really care for us. We may be embarrassed by some of your clothes and actions, but we will connect with those of you who really care about us as individuals.

7. Give us some space.

- But not so much that you let us feel abandoned.

Most of us know that the younger

we are, the less responsibility you can give us on major things, but give us responsibility and authority to choose some things for ourselves. We know that we are not ready to tackle the world at 14, but we are ready to question some things we have always accepted. Be there to reassure us that this is a normal process, but do not hover over us if we ask a question that sounds goofy to you and think we have dropped over the deep end.

By the same token, keep a watch on those people we hang out with who you feel might not be the best influence on us. Ask us about our activities while we are away from you and ask our opinions about the way we act in some situations.

Please tell us and show us that you love us and will be there for us.

8. We do not need all the stuff. - What we really need is you.

We know this sounds like a paradox, and we are thankful for the things you provide and do for us (even though we may forget to thank you), but we are really interested in knowing that you are interested in us. Not just providing stuff and activities for us. We need you to not get lost in providing the activities and not remember us. Do not let programming become the main thing. Do not get us wrong, we like the stuff, but we would like to have you in our lives and showing us how to live.

9. Be honest in all your relationships. - We want to know that you can be trusted.

We get dishonesty all the time from marketing ads to relationships with friends. We are OK when you make mistakes if you will be honest with us and admit that you made a mistake. Too many adults in our lives are not honest.

Sometimes the boss asks me to change the deposit slip to the bank because $10 went missing from the cash register drawer at his register. Tell us how to handle those kinds of situations according to the Bible.

We understand that you cannot be at every ball game, band performance, or recital, but be at the ones you say you will be at. As parents, be faithful to each other because when this foundation of relationships in our lives is disrupted, many things get out of whack.

10. Show and tell us you love and care for us.

- Accept us for who we are, but do not let us stay as we are.

It is good to know that we can come and be around you and be accepted for who we are. Many times we find ourselves in situations in which we are expected to be something that we are not. Allow us to be who we are, but do not let us stay where we are. We cannot see the potential that God has given us and we need to be constantly reminded

that God accepts us and still desires for us to continue to be more and more like His Son. We do not always know what that looks like or what we are supposed to do, so you need to help us know what that is, then tell us what we can do to be more like Christ.

You will more than likely have to keep reminding us that we can become who Christ wants us to be. Sometimes we lose sight of that and get comfortable in just trying to get by and get our homework done and all that other stuff we have on our plates. Oh, yeah, when you do have to remind us, we are OK with an appropriate touch and some nice words about what you see God doing in our lives. We forget sometimes that God is at work through us.

These are just 10 things teens wish we as adults knew. There are others, but this covers the biggies. Share these with parents of teenagers, adults in your church, and even with your students.

They will be glad to know that you have at least heard of some of the things they wish we knew.

Sourced from the Internet

Issue No. 6 - 2013

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One Little Indian Boy

O

ctober welcomed a big pumpkin and a pot of bright yellow mums on our front porch. The entrance to our home welcomed any guest who came our way. It was fall, and the holiday season was on the horizon. We began each festive time of year by celebrating harvest celebrations filled with vibrant warm colors of autumn leaves, sweet smells, and unlimited flurry to usher in the changing season.

As a parent, I was always conscience of wanting to make the approaching holiday season both meaningful and rewarding for my family. Sometimes this was a challenge because of busy schedules and the multiple needs and choices available to us. Children learn by what we expose them to and they glean worth from the things that are most valuable to us.

It was important to me that my son, Alex, learn to respect and place value on the lives of the elderly. Often our society doesn’t put due emphasis on the important role of grandparents and the aging. Children need to understand and be taught how much we all need the wisdom and influence of those precious lives that have walked before us. What a better opportunity to teach 16 Issue No. 6 - 2013

these valuable lessons than at the holiday season!

We had a dear neighbor friend who we called Gramma Marie. Gramma Marie always welcomed the attention and affection of children and used to invite us to her house regularly to do arts and crafts. Alex loved to visit her because she always gave him a piece of chocolate candy. One cool Saturday morning we went to Gramma Marie’s house to do a fall art project with her. When we arrived, she pulled a pattern of an Indian costume out of an old brown bag. Alex’s eyes got big when he first saw the fascinating picture of the native Indian costume!

For weeks we visited Gramma’s house and worked on the costume. It was brown and frayed with multiple colored beads hanging around and about. Alex wanted to try the costume on each time we visited. He loved hearing and feeling the rattle and clinking sounds of the many beads hand-sewn on the fringes of the favored prized project!

The costume was finally completed. We gathered in Grandma Marie’s parlor to watch Alex’s performance of “One Little Indian Boy” while he went prancing,

dancing and chanting around the make believe camp-fire in the middle of the room. Our celebration was completed with a piece of Gramma Marie’s famous chocolate candy. The many hours we spent with Gramma Marie making the Indian costume resulted in a beautiful relationship between our families. She was truly like a grandparent to us. We gleaned many gems of wisdom and happy memories from our time spent with her.

Thanksgiving season was extra special for our family that year. Alex dressed up in his happy colorful Indian boy

costume and we visited many of the lonely and elderly shut-ins that lived in our neighborhood. We also went to the assisted living facilities in our area and shared the joy of the Lord and the gospel message of peace and love. Alex performed his “One Little Indian Boy” dance and the audiences cheered! We included lots of chocolate candy at each performance, too! It made the visits with our new friends extra sweet!

We still remember our times with Gramma Marie as some of our most rewarding and fulfilling holiday

memories. Begin this holiday season by including a family or individual, young or old, who is isolated or lonely.

There are many people that would be so blessed just to have company and companionship during this lengthy and meaningful time of year. Make a new family tradition of including an elderly neighbor or friend as part of your family this holiday season. They will be so very grateful and you and your family will be so very blessed. May the Lord be with you and your household in the coming holiday months.

“Is not wisdom found among he aged?

Does not long life bring understanding?”

Job 12:12 “God sets the lonely in amilies...”

Psalm 68:6 “But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.” Psalm 9:18 “Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you!” Isaiah 46:4 Lynn Marie Hurtado Skunktalesonline.com Artwork by Ruthann J Keulen

Issue No. 6 - 2013

17

christian living

Creating a

Safe Marriage (Pt.1)

by G reg S malley

Your spouse’s heart will open only when it feels safe. But what does feeling safe really mean?

The best approach to foster intimacy and deep connection after an argument is to focus time, attention and energy on creating relational space that feels safe. When your spouse feels safe, he is naturally inclined to relax and open his heart. In this peaceful state, openness simply happens. You don’t have to force intimacy or do things to create connection when you feel safe.

This is true because God designed our heart to be open. The default setting of a heart is openness. It takes much more effort and energy to stay closed and shut down than to stay open.

Think about a recent time when your spouse hurt or frustrated you.

Remember how quickly your heart shut down? Once your heart closed, you instantly reacted in some way (fight or flight) and ultimately disconnected. But your heart was not designed to stay closed. Maintaining a closed heart is like trying to force a huge beach ball underwater. You have to strain and push to keep a ball full of air underwater. It’s the same with your heart. You have to work really hard to keep a heart full of God’s love shut down. Have you ever noticed, when your spouse takes responsibility for her actions and seeks forgiveness, how quickly your heart opens back up? Like that beach ball under the water, once you feel safe, your heart will burst back open. You can go from feeling shut down to instantly feeling connected and open.

Emotional safety sets a peaceful environment that allows people to relax. This is why, in your quest for reconnection after you have argued with your spouse, I want to encourage you to make creating safety a top

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priority. Hopefully, you now see that the only way to become one is to intertwine two open hearts together.

Creating Safety for Open Hearts A heart will open only when it feels safe. But what does feeling safe really mean? I asked more than 1,000 couples for help defining emotional safety.

Listen to some of their answers: • Feeling completely secure • Being accepted for who I am • Feeling relaxed and comfortable • Being free to express who I really am • Being loved unconditionally • Feeling respected • Knowing that my spouse is trustworthy

• Having my spouse be there for me • Being fully understood • Being valued and honored • Having loving reassurance • Being able to open fully in order to give and receive love • Not being judged • Being seen for who I am • Having my flaws accepted as part of the whole package • Living in an atmosphere of open communication Wouldn’t it be amazing for these things to be the foundation of marriage? Feeling emotionally safe is critical for a marriage to thrive.

I define emotional safety as feeling free to open up and reveal who you really are while trusting that the other person will still love, value and

unconditionally accept you.

In other words, you feel safe with someone when you are confident and trust that he or she will handle your heart – your deepest feelings, thoughts, desires, hopes, and dreams – with the utmost care. So, how do we build a marriage that feels like the safest place on earth?

Emotional safety is not simply a bunch of psychobabble. Safety is, first and foremost, something that our heavenly Father provides for us.

• The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

(Proverbs 18:10) • Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge. (Psalm 16:1) • In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8) These are just a few of the many verses that show how the God of this universe goes out of His way to make us feel safe. He wants our heart open so He can love through us. And hearts open when they feel safe. The safest relationship we will ever have is with our heavenly Father.

I want to model my earthly relationships after what God does with me. The key to creating a marriage that feels like the safest place on earth is found in Ephesians 5:29: “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.” Creating a safe marriage involves both an attitude and an action.

Cherish is the right attitude, and nourish is the powerful action.

Cherish: Recognize Spouse’s Value (pt.2) Honor

isn’t

based

Your on

behavior or subject to emotion. You grant your spouse value whether they want it or deserve it.

The primary attitude that will help your spouse feel emotionally safe is when he believes that you understand how incredibly valuable he is.

That is the essence of honor.

Honor is a decision to view our spouse as a priceless treasure – a person of high worth and value. This is what King Solomon encouraged as well: “A man’s greatest treasure is his wife” (Proverbs 18:22).

Honor isn’t based on behavior or subject to emotion. You grant your spouse value whether they want it or deserve it. Honor is a decision you make and a gift you give. This is exactly what the apostle Paul encouraged the early Christians to do when he wrote, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor” (Romans 12:10).

God has made it resplendently clear that my wife is valuable. Look at some of the verses that show how much our heavenly Father values and cherishes us:

And in those moments, when I fail to see her as my heavenly Father sees His daughter, I’m not safe. When I lose sight of her value, when I’m not cherishing her, I’m more apt to react and treat her in dishonoring ways. Then Erin has every right to put up a wall and protect herself.

I watched the power of recognizing my wife’s value this past Thanksgiving while at my parents’ home in Branson, Mo. One of the things that I appreciate most about my parents is the honesty of their marriage. They’ve never claimed to have a “perfect” marriage and aren’t afraid to disagree.

At one point, my parents got into a huge argument.

They were so frustrated that they each ran off to a different part of the house. I let the

situation calm down for a few minutes before I knocked on my father’s office door.

“Come in,” he reluctantly replied.

As I walked into his office, I found my dad sitting behind his computer reading a document titled “Why Norma Is So Valuable.” (My mom’s name is Norma, just in case you were wondering.)

“What are you reading?” I asked.

“Well,” my dad began, “a number of years ago I started a list of why your mom is so valuable. So when I’m upset with her, or when we’ve had a fight, I’ve learned that instead of sitting here thinking about how hurt or frustrated I am at your mother, I need to make myself read through this list.”

The document contained C O N T ’ D O N P. 4 1

• “For you were made in my image.” (Genesis 1:27) • “I chose you when I planned creation.”

(Ephesians 1:11) • “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”

(Psalm 139:14) • “For you are my treasured possession.”

(Exodus 19:5) It’s amazing to think that the God of this universe considers my wife His treasured possession. That’s powerful!

However, when Erin and I are in the midst of an argument and my heart closes, the first thing to go is my awareness of her incredible value.

Issue No. 6 - 2013

19

Fa i t h - B a s e d Fa m i ly F i n a n c e

Budget Busters If your family struggles with making ends meet, these budget busters may be the culprit. Here’s how your family can start living in the black again.

Budget busters are the large potential problem areas that can destroy a budget. Failure to control even one of these problem areas can result in financial disaster. Below we have given some suggestions on how to identify potential troublesome areas before they become budget busting problems.

Housing (38 percent of your monthly budget) Typically this is one of the largest budget problem areas. Many families buy or rent a house they cannot afford. Housing decisions should be based on need and financial ability, not on internal or external pressure.

Food (12 percent of your monthly budget) Many families buy too much

20 Issue No. 6 - 2013

food. Others buy too little. The reduction of a family’s food bill requires quantity and quality planning.

bank loans including home equity loans, and installment credit), the unfortunate norm for the typical family far exceeds this amount.

Transportation (purchase and maintenance, 15 percent of your monthly budget) Often consumers are unwise when it comes both to purchasing and maintaining automobiles. Many families buy cars they cannot afford and trade them in long before their usefulness has expired.

Other than salespeople who need new cars regularly, most people trade cars because they want to rather than need to. In addition, most people pay premium prices for repairs and general maintenance on their cars, which many times can be avoided.

Insurance (5 percent of Net Spendable Income assuming an employer provides medical insurance) Few families understand how much and what kind of insurance is needed. Insurance should be used as a supplementary provision for the family, not for protection or for profit.

Insurance is not designed for saving money or for retirement. So, select insurance based on God’s plan for your life, not on what someone else says you need for your life.

Debts (5 percent of Net Spendable Income) Although it would be great if family budgets restricted themselves to only 5 percent debt (credit cards,

Recreation/Entertainment (5 percent of Net Spendable Income) Although we are a recreationoriented society, those who are in debt should not use their creditors’ money to entertain themselves or their families. The normal tendency

is to escape problems, if only for a short while even if the problems then become more acute.

Although families need a certain amount of recreation and fun in order to maintain a healthy family atmosphere, they also must resist the urge to indulge excessively, and control recreation and entertainment expenses.

Clothing (5 percent of Net Spendable Income) Many families in debt sacrifice this area in their budget because of excesses in other areas. And yet, with prudent planning and buying, families can be clothed neatly without great expense.

Medical and dental (5 percent of Net Spendable Income) Families need to anticipate these expenses in their budgets and set aside funds regularly to cover the expenses. Do not sacrifice family health due to lack of planning, but at the same time do not use doctors and dentists excessively. Prevention is much cheaper than treatment or correction.

Savings (5 percent of Net Spendable Income) It is important that families establish some savings in a budget. Otherwise, the use of credit becomes a lifelong necessity and debt, a way of life. A savings plan will allow for the purchase of items with cash rather than credit, irrespective of the store.

Once you’ve identified these areas of your budget, how can you adjust problem areas that could become “budget busters?”

Now that we know why we run a deficit each month, one question remains.

How can we keep our costs from breaking the bank each month? Here are some ideas.

Housing 1. Purchase a home only if total housing payments (mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, phone, and maintenance) do not exceed 38 percent of Net Spendable Income.

2. Do not finance a second mortgage for a down payment and do not finance closing costs.

3. If trading, make sure it is a need and not simply a desire.

Food 1. Plan a weekly family menu and stick to it.

2. When shopping, always use a written grocery list and do not deviate from it, if possible.

3. Avoid shopping when hungry or in a hurry.

4. Avoid expensively-prepared and frozen foods.

5. Purchase sundry items, household cleaning products, and paper products at discount retail stores or retail warehouses.

6. Shop for advertised specials and use manufacturers’ coupons.

7. Try generic or store brand products.

8. If at all possible, avoid shopping with small children.

C O N T ’ D O N P. 4 1

Issue No. 6 - 2013

21

cover story

Forgiv 22 Issue No. 6 - 2013

Gift

veness The

of

B y J ohn W illiam S mith

The Christmas of 1949 we didn’t have a tree.

My dad had as much pride as anybody, I suppose, so he wouldn’t just say that we couldn’t afford one.

When I mentioned it, my mother said that we weren’t going to have one this year, that we couldn’t afford one, and even if we could – it was stupid to clutter up your house with a dead tree.

I wanted a tree badly though, and I thought – in my naïve way – that if we had one, everybody would feel better. >>

Issue No. 6 - 2013 23

Taking Matters into my Own Hands About three days before Christmas, I was out collecting for my paper route.

It was fairly late – long after dark – it was snowing and very cold.

I went to the apartment building to try to catch a customer who hadn’t paid me for nearly two months – she owed me seven dollars.

Much to my surprise, she was home.

She invited me in and not only did she pay me, she gave me a dollar tip!

It was a windfall for me – I now had eight whole dollars.

What happened next was totally unplanned.

On the way home, I walked past a Christmas tree lot and the idea hit me.

The selection wasn’t very good because it was so close to the holiday, but there was this one real nice tree.

It had been a very expensive tree and no one had bought it; now it was so close to Christmas that the man was afraid no one would.

He wanted ten dollars for it, but when I – in my gullible innocence – told him I only had eight, he said he might sell it for that.

I really didn’t want to spend the whole eight dollars on the tree, but it was so pretty that I finally agreed.

I dragged it all the way home – about a mile, I think – and I tried hard not to damage it or break off any limbs.

The snow helped to cushion it, and it was still in pretty good shape when I got home.

You can’t imagine how proud and excited I was.

I propped it up against the railing on our front porch and went in.

My heart was bursting as I announced that I had a surprise.

I got Mom and Dad to come to the front door and then I switched on the porch light.

Surprise!!

“Where did you get that tree?” my mother exclaimed.

But it wasn’t the kind of exclamation that indicates pleasure.

24 Issue No. 6 - 2013

My heart was bursting as I announced that I had a surprise.

I got Mom and Dad to come to the front door and then I switched on the porch light.

Surprise!!

“I bought it up on Main Street. Isn’t it just the most perfect tree you ever saw?”

I said, trying to maintain my enthusiasm.

“Where did you get the money?” Her tone was accusing and it began to dawn on me that this wasn’t going to turn out as I had planned.

“From my paper route.” I explained about the customer who had paid me.

“And you spent the whole eight dollars on this tree?” she exclaimed.

She went into a tirade about how stupid it was to spend my money on a dumb tree that would be thrown out and burned in a few days.

She told me how irresponsible I was and how I was just like my dad with all those foolish, romantic, noble notions about fairy tales and happy endings and that it was about time I grew up and learned some sense about the realities of life and how to take care of money and spend it on things that were needed and not on silly things.

She said that I was going to end up in

the poorhouse because I believe in stupid things like Christmas trees, things that didn’t amount to anything.

I Just Stood There My mother had never talked to me like that before and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

I felt awful and I began to cry.

Finally, she reached out and snapped off the porch light.

“Leave it there,” she said. “Leave that tree there till it rots, so every time we see it, we’ll all be reminded of how stupid the men in this family are.”

Then she stormed up the stairs to her bedroom and we didn’t see her until the next day.

Dad and I brought the tree in and we made a stand for it.

He got out the box of ornaments and we decorated it as best as we could; but men aren’t too good at things like that, and besides, it wasn’t the same without mom.

There were a few presents under it

by Christmas day – although I can’t remember a single one of them – but Mom wouldn’t have anything to do with it.

It was the worst Christmas I ever had.

Fast Forward to Today Judi and I got married in August of 1963, and dad died on October 10 of that year.

Over the next eight years, we lived in many places. Mom sort of divided up the year – either living with my sister Jary or with us.

In 1971 we were living in Wichita, Kansas – Lincoln was about seven, Brendan was three and Kristen was a baby. Mom was staying with us during the holidays. On Christmas Eve I stayed up very late. I was totally alone with my thoughts, alternating between joy and melancholy, and I got to thinking about my paper route, that tree, what my mother had said to me and how Dad had tried to make things better.

I heard a noise in the kitchen and discovered that it was mom. She couldn’t sleep either and had gotten up to make herself a cup of hot tea – which was her remedy for just about everything. As she waited for the water to boil, she walked into the living room and discovered me there. She saw my open Bible and asked me what I was reading. When I told her, she asked if I would read it to her and I did.

The Truth Comes Out When the kettle began to whistle, she went and made her tea. She came back, and we started to visit. I told her how happy I was that she was with us for Christmas and how I wished that Dad could have lived to see his grandchildren and to enjoy this time because he always loved Christmas so. It got very quiet for a moment and then she said, “Do you remember that time on Twelve Mile Road when you bought that tree with your paper route money?”

“Yes,” I said, “I’ve just been thinking about it you know.”

She hesitated for a long moment,

The great gifts of this season – or any season – can’t be put under the tree; you can’t wear them or eat them or drive them or play with them. We spend so much time on the lesser gifts – toys, sweaters, jewelry, the mint, anise and dill of Christmas – and so little on the great gifts – understanding, grace, peace and forgiveness.

make what I did right, but I hoped that someday, when you were older, you would understand. I’ve wanted to say something for ever so long and I’m so glad it’s finally out.”

Well, we both cried a little and held each other and I forgave her – it wasn’t hard, you know.

Then we talked for a long time, and I did understand; I saw what I had never seen and the bitterness and sadness that had gathered up in me for all those years gradually washed away.

It was marvelously simple.

The great gifts of this season – or any season – can’t be put under the tree; you can’t wear them or eat them or drive them or play with them. We spend so much time on the lesser gifts – toys, sweaters, jewelry, the mint, anise and dill of Christmas – and so little on the great gifts – understanding, grace, peace and forgiveness. It’s no wonder that the holiday leaves us empty, because when it’s over, the only reminders we have are the dirty dishes and the January bills.

The Great Gift

as though she were on the verge of something that was bottled up so deeply inside her soul that it might take surgery to get it out. Finally, great tears started down her face and she cried, “Oh, son, please forgive me.”

“That time and that Christmas have been a burden on my heart for twentyfive years. I wish your dad were here so I could tell him how sorry I am for what I said. Your dad was a good man and it hurts me to know that he went to his grave without ever hearing me say that I was sorry for that night. Nothing will ever make what I said right, but you need to know that your dad never did have any money sense (which was all too true).

We were fighting all the time though not in front of you - we were two months behind in our house payments, we had no money for groceries, your dad was talking about going back to Arkansas and that tree was the last straw. I took it all out on you. It doesn’t

The great gifts are like the one gift – the gift that began it all back there in Bethlehem of Judea. You can’t buy them, and they’re not on anybody’s shopping list. They come as He came – quietly, freely, unexpectedly – and if you’re not careful, you’ll miss them entirely.

Do you have unforgiveness in your life that is making life miserable for you? Why not let Jesus show you how to forgive those who have hurt you? If you don’t know Jesus, we encourage you to pray the following prayer: Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord.

Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life. Make me be the person you want me to be. Amen.

Saying this prayer is the first step towards a personal relationship with Jesus, who will guide and encourage you every step of the way.

Issue No. 6 - 2013

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christian living

Jesus, My Friend

B y C hristopher T obutt

L

ots of us have had very special friends. When we are children we have a special title for them, we say, “so-and-so is my best friend.”

Our best friend was always the one we could tell any secret to, or any hurt - something that we couldn’t say to our parents, nor even to our brothers and sisters.

Our best friend was someone who would always be there for us – who would wait behind for us after school when we had detention; stick up for us by telling others that they knew we wouldn’t cry when a teacher told us off (even if we did cry). Best friends think the best of you, but at the same time they don’t want you to be anybody but yourself, and they

26 Issue No. 6 - 2013

always know and sometimes get upset or offended if you are trying to be somebody else. Best friends share their last candies with you.

Above all, best friends are always there to ‘just be with.’

Often, school and childhood friends, however good they are, drift apart when they become adults. Nobody can explain exactly why this should be so, but it is a rare friend who stays with us all our lives.

Sometimes, if our family moves to a new neighborhood when we are growing up, we find ourselves in a new school and everybody seems to have their friends already sorted out and we don’t know where we fit in.

Sometimes, too, we get laughed

at because, for some reason we don’t always know, we appear to them to be different. They might think we are poorer than them, or it might be that we are richer. We might not talk the same way they do, or look the same. Our clothes may be different, or our skin may be a different color.

When we stood all alone at break and watched the other children playing, we might have sometimes talked to an imaginary, invisible friend. If things go on this way for a long time, we give our friend a name and really believe he or she is there. We tell them all of our problems and feel they are listening. But if someone catches us talking to them, we become embarrassed and sad all

at the same time because we know, deep in our hearts, that they are not really there after all.

Did I tell you I have a very special friend? You can’t see him, but he is real, and is always there and always listens when I tell him my troubles. I can tell him anything I want, and he never wants me to be anybody other than myself. He is sad when I am sad, or do something that isn’t really ‘me,’ and is happy when I am happy and make a good decision. He never leaves me, although, I am ashamed to say, I have walked away from him often. His name is Jesus.

We’ve all heard that Jesus is our Lord. Some of us know him as God, and that is good too. Others know him as their King, or as their Savior. And he is all of those things and more. But above all, he wants to be your friend.

If you don’t believe me, take a look at this scripture: “ I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15.

And here is another truth: not only does Jesus invite you to tell him all your secrets, and your innermost dreams and hopes, but he is willing to share his with you as well. He doesn’t necessarily tell you everything at once, but as you get to know him, he will tell you more and more about what he longs to see, and about the things that fill his own eyes with tears.

While it is right to kneel before him in prayer and call him “Lord,” as we walk with him, we are also invited to talk to him face-to-face, just like Moses did: “And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend....” (Exodus 33:11).

Abraham is called a friend of God. In the Book of James, it says: “And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.” Is Jesus your best friend too? If he isn’t, perhaps it’s because you’ve never asked him to be. Why don’t you ask him to be your friend today? You don’t have to wait until you feel you are good enough. Like all best friends, he wants you to be yourself. Be honest with him. Tell him your secrets. If all your hopes and dreams have been shattered, and your heart is broken and tattered, tell him that too.

“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

Wouldn’t you like to be called a friend of Jesus?

Would you like to tell him all your secrets, hidden hopes and dreams? Would you like to tell him the things you have never been able to tell anyone else?

Would you like for Jesus to entrust his secret plans and desires to you? Of course you would. At the end of the day there isn’t anything else that really matters.

Issue No. 6 - 2013

27

B OO K REVIE W

A

Stepping Stones to Victory

n assemblage of sermons triggered the idea of Ventress Chandler-Latham to put together her book Stepping Stones to Victory. Caring for the lost souls of men, she reaches out to us as believers in hope that we will strengthen ourselves in the Lord Jesus Christ through prayer and the word.

Not only would this book be a blessing to our own walk with God, but this will help us gain our own confidence and understanding of carrying out the mission that God has given to us as born again Christians through the ministry of reconciliation; this is the ministry of reconciling man back to God through Christ Jesus.

28 Issue No. 6 - 2013

At the very beginning of her book, Chandler-Latham explains the importance of man being born again; to die to their flesh and surrender their hearts fully to God, by allowing Him to direct all their paths. It’s not enough to just do “good deeds” or have the outward appearance of religion; rather, it is the condition of the heart that matters to God. When knowing that one has become “born again,” she explains that the old life of sin sincerely becomes undesirable.

“He, who is born again, hates evil; he steers clear of things that look, feel, or even sound like sin or evil…” Even if the born again Christian is not walking perfectly in the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance), it should be in their heart to strive for it.

Chandler-Latham explains that God is a jealous God and He is displeased when we give our devotions to something else. She speaks about idolatry in all forms: sex, music and even trusting in things that claim to reveal details of the future. It’s very tempting to turn to the things of the world, but she urges us that as children of God, Christians must stand firm against the temptation. She used this powerful scripture to prove her point (Daniel 6:19-28), where Daniel refused to worship false idols and was thrown into the lion’s den, but was delivered by God, showing that God will not forsake man if we are for Him. She points out scriptures from where it all started, in the book of Genesis. God gave man dominion over everything on the earth, so we certainly must not worship or idolize anything, but we must give our worship and service to Him. One of the difficulties Christians face early on in their walk with God, is the problem of turning away from their faith as soon as it is shaken by trials. She reassures the readers that if we’re not sure of what to do next, “…the Lord Himself will order your steps and direct your path, as you yield to Him and serve Him with everything you are, have and ever hope to be.”

“The journey can become a challenging, and weary one” Chandler-Latham says, but reminds us that the writer to Hebrews says that “we are to run with patience, the race that is set before us”, even as we “look to Jesus, who is the author, and finisher, of our faith.”

In each chapter she encourages her readers, telling us to remember that we “are destined for greatness!” She’s speaking about the mission God has set out for us - to win souls. She speaks about some of the things that tend to hold many Christians back such as lack of faith, burdens from the past and crippling fear. She uses many scriptures from the Bible to combat these hindrances.

I believe Chandler-Latham wants the world to know that as Christians we are called to join the battle of winning souls back to the Kingdom of God; not to put Jesus in second place, but to say “yes” to Him and live a life full of joy; to experience the wonderful gifts and talents awakened by God that we never knew we had before.

MERRY Christmas Happy AND A

NEW YEAR

Wishing you and your loved ones a happy and peaceful Christmas season from the BAF Family.

www.mybafsolutions.com

Talya Gayle Issue No. 6 - 2013

29

The God of the Little Problems B y D r . R alph W ilson

Let’s pray that your business will succeed, and that you’ll be able to get along with that person who makes life miserable for you. Okay? No? Why not?

Take a quick quiz for a moment: Yes No 1. God is too busy to hear about these little things.

2. I feel guilty about asking Him, unless I’m a super saint.

3. I shouldn’t ask Him for things for myself, especially monetary things.

4. If I’m going to pray, I ought to be praying for “biggies” like people starving in Ethiopia.

5. You ought to take care of your problems as best you can yourself, and not bother Him with it unless you just can’t handle it.

6. All of the above.

If you answered “yes” to any of the answers above, do I have good news for you! Correct answers are found below: 1. A “no” answer here shows that you know the God of the infinite PBX. Our phone system at church has two lines. If both lights are lit, no one else can call in.

But God is not limited like we humans to a one-or even a ten-track mind.

You’ve surely heard about those chess masters who can play 24 games of chess simultaneously and win every one? God can carry on a humungous number of conversations at the same time, and not miss a detail. We’re talking mega-capacity.

2. A “no” answer to this question demonstrates that you understand a lot about God’s tremendous mercy. None of us is worthy to ask God anything. We are sinners. We’ve blown it. We are guilty. But God sent His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. When we put our trust in Jesus, God forgives us completely, and invites us to come to Him with our problems, just like a caring father loves for his child to come and talk to him. A father would be hurt if his little daughter ignored him and did not talk to him. Prayer is talking to our Father.

3. A “no” answer here shows that you understand your Father cares about every aspect of your life. No, “gimmie, gimmie” 30 Issue No. 6 - 2013

prayers are as tiresome to God as they are to a parent. But when we really need something for ourselves, even a good job or enough money to pay the bills, we can and should ask our Father. But it ought to be part of a whole relationship with God. “Hey, dad, can you send me $20,” is a rather incomplete relationship.

Then again, maybe it’s a place to start a relationship. Tell Him Pastor Ralph told you to call.

4. Sure you ought to be praying for starving people in Ethiopia. But that doesn’t mean you can’t pray for less

dramatic needs in your own life. We can pray anytime. About lots of things.

So why save it up for the biggies? Who’d want to talk to you only if you have some heavy-duty crisis. He’d appreciate you talking to Him about some of the smaller problems too. It’s what you call down-to-earth.

5. A “no” answer is right on. I once heard about the lady who told her neighbor: “It got so bad I finally had to pray about it.” “Oh, has it come to that?” was her friend’s response. So why do we avoid God? Why do we put off talking to Him? Maybe we’re afraid He’ll cut in on our act. Who does He think He is, anyway? Try Creator, or Lord, or Savior.

How about Friend? Real life, you know, is life shared with Jesus. Anything else is second best.

6. I hope you didn’t answer “all of the above.” But if you did, I have good news for you. You must be awfully lonely. You have a Friend in Jesus, someone you can talk to about anything! And someone who will be your Partner in everything.

It all starts with a simple prayer: “Hey. Is anybody home up there? I’ve got a problem I’d like to talk to you about…”

Issue No. 6 - 2013

31

Love 103.1FM 4th Anniversar

Behind the Scenes

Local authors at the recent

Elsa Bobb 32 Issue No. 6 - 2013

Chelsea Rivers

nniversary’s Praise & Celebration 2013

Love 103 FM Co-owners: Joel (JT) Taylor & Anthony (Bro T) Thompson.

recent Book Fair at Books & Books, Camana Bay

Catherine Tyson

Karlene Stewart Issue No. 6 - 2013

33

feature

It’s Just a Thought

Like Father This week I rode to pick up my granddaughter and her brother from school. Her Dad was supposed to pick them up and attend a parent teacher conference. She was really looking forward to seeing him and could not accept that we were there instead. Understand that it was not the first time someone else was picking them up, it was only that she was aware that her Dad had a meeting with her teacher and was looking forward to him coming. In her mind it was inconceivable that he would miss the meeting.

But he did miss the meeting for another on the campus of the Community College where he is an instructor. It took her a little while to get over her disappointment. Like her mom, she is a Daddy’s girl.

She was so distraught that she even considered turning down the chance of a “hot n spicy” sandwich from McDonald’s, but thought better of it at the last moment.

In that too she is like her mom.

When we took them to meet their Dad on the campus, I stayed in the car as they were accompanied to meet him. I did not see the moment he came up to them on the walkway leading back to his office, but I could see him flanked on either side by both his children as they walked back. Even from across campus I could see the difference in them as they walked in the shadow of their father, and for a moment I choked up. I thought then of being in the shadow of our Heavenly Father’s wings, and what a beautiful thing it is. And as I watch them strolling along, I could see all that was troubling Modica before had lifted and was forgotten as she walked with her brother and her Dad. It’s just a thought!

Ewart (Junior) Forde

34 Issue No. 6 - 2013

BAJO LA LUZ DE LA LAMPARA “Descubriendo verdades de la Biblia para iluminar nuestro caminar” POR LIC. ANDRES RAMOS TE INVITAMOS A NUESTRO SERVICIO EN ESPAÑOL LOS DOMINGOS DE 6:00 pm A 7:30 PM, EN LA IGLESIA BAUTISTA EL CALVARIO UBICADA EN 191 WALKERS ROAD, DONDE SE APRENDARA VERDADES DE LA PALABRA DE DIOS. tel. 9275417 “LA UNIDAD FACTOR DE CRECIMIENTO” Hoy veremos la unidad como el todo en relación a la verdadera y sana comunión con Dios y sobre todo el crecimiento como iglesia de Cristo, en un mundo de desigualdades y de injusticias, donde prevalece el materialismo y los intereses personales de sobresalir a un pasando por encima del otro.

Veamos que no es unidad: el antónimo de unidad es DESUNION-SEPARACIONdesigualdad-incompatibilidad-agua y aceite.

La pecaminosidad es el arma de Satanás para promover la desunión: Como se filtra esta actitud negativa dentro de un lugar donde debe prevalecer el amor y la unidad? : Sencillo cuando dos o mas personas insisten en hacer sus cosas a su manera.

La unidad de una congregación o grupo social se ve en problemas si sus miembros solo tienen ideales y propósitos impulsados por motivos netamente personales.

Que clase de daños puede causar la desunión entre cristianos: 1. Dios es ofendido y deshonrado 2. la iglesia de Cristo es desacreditada y desmoralizada 3. El evangelismo se ve difícil de efectuar y esto afirma la incredulidad del mundo.

4. Fracciona el proceso de crecimiento de la iglesia y personal de cada miembro El Apóstol Pablo viendo esta situación que sucedía con la iglesia de Corintios y que posiblemente sucedería también con la iglesia de Éfeso, señala la importancia de la unidad pero no cualquier clase de unidad sino la unidad esencial, el eje de la unidad de la iglesia: LA UNIDAD ESPIRITUAL: GENERADA POR EL ESPIRITU SANTO. Como es esto? : Primero que todo el Nuevo creyente pone su confianza en JESUCRISTO para su salvación: [Efe.2:5 y 8].

Esta decisión rompe toda barrera y

frontera que el hombre ha creado de etnia, color de piel, idioma y ubicación geográfica y viene a formarse el CUERPO DE CRISTO: Romanos 12:5: “Así nosotros, siendo muchos, somos un CUERPO en Cristo, y todos miembros los unos de los otros”.

Individualmente el CREYENTE (No todos los hombres son hijos de Dios hay dos clases de hombres: los hijos de Dios que son cohabitados por el Espíritu Santo y los hijos del pecado: son hombres Naturales, guiados por intereses personales y la vana gloria del mundo), es cohabitado por el solo y único Espíritu Santo. Cada uno es templo individual del Espíritu Santo: [1Cor.3:16-17] - [Ef.1:14]: “Templo santo en el señor”.

Entonces el Espíritu Santo es una garantía Divina para: 1. Somos sellados para ser Redimidos: Efesios 4:30: Y no contristéis al Espíritu Santo de Dios, con el cual fuisteis SELLADOS para el día de la redención 2. Pertenecemos al cuerpo de Cristo: Efesios 1:13: En él también vosotros, habiendo oído la palabra de verdad, el evangelio de vuestra salvación, y habiendo creído en él, fuisteis SELLADOS con el Espíritu Santo de la promesa.

3. Estaremos en las Bodas del Cordero: [Ap.19:9].

4. El Espíritu es garantía de Madurez: CRECIMIENTO ESPIRITUAL, [Ro.8:29.]

Porque a los que antes conoció, también los predestinó para que fuesen hechos conformes a la imagen de su Hijo, para que él sea el primogénito entre muchos hermanos.

Luego de entender este proceso de donde nace la unidad espiritual: Podemos definir que la Unidad de la iglesia es y será en: El ESPIRITU SANTO. Para que entonces se necesita la Unidad

Cayman gospel best

Step Up to the Mic (Season 2)

Espiritual: Si no entendemos desde el punto de vista espiritual la clara definición de Unidad, jamás entenderemos, ni aplicaremos la Unidad ministerial, ni mucho menos la Unidad eclesial: la de miembros de una comunidad religiosa con fines grandes.

Entonces en la Expresión Practica de la Unidad se observa los siguientes frutos: 1. Soportarnos en Paciencia los unos a los otros en amor. v.2: Con toda Humildad y mansedumbre, soportándoos en paciencia los unos con los otros en amor 2. La unidad en Cristo por el Espíritu Santo.V.4: Un cuerpo y un Espíritu,… [Ro. 12:5] 3. Desarrollo completo de los Ministerios: o sea servicio dentro y fuera de la iglesia. [Ef. 4:11-13] Pero eso no es todo, La máxima expresión de la unidad o sea para lo que se requiere la Unidad es para: Vea conmigo el verso 13 y 14:( Y esto con el objetivo principal) de CRECER ESPIRITUALMENTE -MADURAR EN LA FE Y CRECER EN EL CONOCIMIENTO DE LA PALABRA DE DIOS. El propósito de Dios de crecer para ayudarnos según el talento propio, o sea según su capacidad y habilidad, su Don, no el que le exigen u obligan , si no el que Dios ha colocado para su gloria. Por favor dejen que los dones se desarrollen, si no hay unidad hay critica y la critica frustra, tranca el desarrollo ministerial de nuestros hermanos.

Cuando no hay unidad en la iglesia no hay crecimiento: la verdad se predica a medias.

Reflexionemos de manera individual si mi unidad con Cristo es genuina, si he experimentado el sello del Espíritu Santo: Nuevo Nacimiento Espiritual, ya que como hombres necesitamos de Dios ese es la máxima expresión de la unidad con propósito eterno de tener vida Eterna y gozar de la misericordia y la gracia de Dios.

ARE YOU READY?

caymangospelbest@gmail.com Issue No. 6 - 2013

35

Give the Gift of

Memory

This year, give a gift that literally lasts forever and doesn’t cost a dime!

‘Tis the season when we are reminded every time we open the paper, turn on the television or visit our email that it is our personal responsibility to revive the economy by shopping till we drop. Don’t get us wrong, we like to shop as much as the next guy, but there comes a point in one’s life where “things” just don’t matter that much. That plastic doll from China you just had to get for your daughter sits broken or forgotten in just a few days. The latest edition of a video game is discarded as soon as another one is issued, or that trendiest art candy bag gets abandoned when the new design previews after the first of the year. And what parent hasn’t experienced this: spending hundreds of dollars on toys only to find your children building forts out of the boxes they opened!

We would like to suggest a few gifts that you can give that last through the generations and require only time and motivation.

• Give the simple gift of reading. Yes, we know this is a bit corny, but honestly, if you have a child or a younger brother or sister, take the time to read them a story, or tell them a tale. Take them to the public library and sign them up for a library card. We know that reading and early literacy programs make a

36 Issue No. 6 - 2013

lasting impression on our children and set them up for success.

• If you are a student returning home for the holidays, sit down with your parents and go through the boxes of photos that most families have from previous generations. Don’t wait until it is too late. How many of us wish we had only asked our parents -- “Who are these people and what relation do they have to me? How am I connected?”

• Scan those photos and secure them. Think about all the images and personal documents lost during Hurricane Sandy. When you see people interviewed after epic tragedies like Sandy or Katrina, they never say, “I’m so sad because I lost my flat screen TV!” No, they are devastated because they lost their only photos of a mother, father or grandparents.

• Write a short narrative about your first semester at college, or about an event that impacted you deeply.

Think about building a personal archive. Many schools require electronic portfolios of your best work -- consider creating an electronic narrative of who you are as an individual.

So if battling the Christmas crowds at the local mall holds no appeal for you, and if Internet shopping seems so impersonal, then consider the gift of literacy, the gift of reading or the gift of memory.

Christmas Quotes

The Son of God became a man to enable men to become the sons of God. -C.S.Lewis (Mere Christianity) ~~~~~~ This is Christmas: not the tinsel, not the giving and receiving, not even the carols, but the humble heart that receives anew the wondrous gift, the Christ.

- Frank McKibben ~~~~~~ Love has a name. JESUS Love has a place. Our hearts.

Love has a story.

And it’s not finished yet. ~~~~~~

God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning ~~~~~~ How many observe Christ’s birthday!

How few, his precepts!

O! ‘tis easier to keep Holidays than Commandments.

-Benjamin Franklin ~~~~~~ Best of all, Christmas means a spirit of love, a time when the love of God and love of our fellow men should prevail over all hatred and bitterness, a time when our thoughts and deeds and the spirit of our lives manifest the presence of God. -George F. McDougall ~~~~~~ Love came down at Christmas, Love all lovely, Love divine; Love was born at Christmas; Star and angels gave the sign.

-Christina Rossetti ~~~~~~

JOY

Somehow, not only for Christmas, but all the long year through, The joy that you give to others, Is the joy that comes back to you.

-John Greenleaf Whittier ~~~~~~ God sent a star to light the night for The Way, The Truth, The Life--His Son. He sent the Light of Life to prove His heart so we would invite His Son into our own.

God has given us all the light we’ll ever need to find peace on earth, goodwill to men.

-Pamela F. Dowd ~~~~~~

PEACE IS . . .

~ gazing at the stars with the knowledge that you know their Creator. ~ closing your eyes in sleep without fear of tomorrow. ~ the stillness in your heart when trouble swirls around you. ~ a quiet mind in a raging world.

- unknown ~~~~~~ Where there is faith, there is love; Where there is love, there is peace; Where there is peace, there is God; And where there is God; there is no need.

-Leo Tolstoy

related to our passing blessings along to someone else.

-Thomas Kinkaid ~~~~~~

The giving of gifts is not something man invented. God started the giving spree when he gave a gift beyond words, the unspeakable gift of His Son. ~~~~~~

- Robert Flatt

Blessed is The season which Engages the whole World in a Conspiracy of love.

-Hamilton Wright Mabie ~~~~~~

GIVE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS: To your enemy . . .forgiveness, To your opponent . . .tolerance.

To a friend . . . your heart.

To a customer . . . service.

To all men . . .charity.

To every child . . . a good example To yourself . . .respect.

-Author Unknown

~~~~~~ The flow of blessings in our life is directly Issue No. 6 - 2013 37

feature

Caymanian honored for religious service in Portmore, Jamaica History was made for one Caymanian, as Bishop Dr Juliette D. Fagan became the first Caymanian to be honored in the service of Religion and Motivation in Portmore, Jamaica.

Bishop Fagan was the only one chosen in that category, and was honored along with several others at the Portmore Municipality Heroes Day Ceremony which was well-attended by churches, civic groups, politicians, schools, educators and sports personnel.

Deputy Mayor Leon Thomas said he spoke also on behalf of the late Mayor, George Lee, who was so proud of the ministry work in the Greater Portmore and Daytona area, and also the prayer sessions at the Municipal Council.

Mayor Thomas said he had watched Bishop Fagan grow and take others along with her since she started the ministry in 2004. It was during a period when two areas were at war, and within weeks of the ministry tent being erected in the community, the war had ceased as the church brought peace and unity. There has been a great calm ever since.

Congrats were also extended to Bishop Fagan for the title of

38 Issue No. 6 - 2013

Professor of Theology which was conferred on her on October 8, 2013 by Christ Kingdom University - a United Nations and Oral Roberts University Fellowshiprecognized university in Cameroon, Africa.

This was given because of Bishop Fagan having impacted lives locally and online, which were the same sentiments expressed by the Municipal Office of Portmore, Jamaica.

Professor Juliette D. Fagan is presently overseeing two church branches in Jamaica and plans to extend to other parishes. After two batches of bible school students in Cayman in 2001 and 2003 had completed their studies, and a recent group in Portmore also finished in May of this year, she now plans to complete the establishment of a bible school one day in Grand Cayman.

Professor Fagan stated, “One day all will be in place as Vision Miracle Church of God has been certified as a bible school extension campus since December 2008.�

Submitted

But You Did It! cont ’ d from p. 1 1

as great as you thought it was? I don’t think that I have ever been shocked by any sin in any of my six children’s lives. I think it’s because of my willingness to see my failings as a spiritual disciple and that their heart is just as capable as mine is of finding ways to deceive them.

“The one simple principle that I try to employ when dealing with children is to ask myself if I have ever taken the beam out of my own eye as I try and take the speck out of their eye. When I humbled myself in this way, God’s grace flooded my heart and empowered me to tell the truth that needed to be told.”

Model Parents Humility isn’t weakness; it’s simply being honest about where your strength comes from. The good news about the whole “But You Did IT” dilemma is that it really isn’t a dilemma at all. Bottom line is this: Yes, you did it. Parental guilt about your past is a parenting trap God never set. Admit you did it and move on. At the

same time, establish that your honesty doesn’t eliminate your expectation for obedience. Your role as a parent is not based on your actions as a teenager.

Simply ask your teen if they are doing what you think they’re doing. Give them a chance to set the record straight. If your suspicions are correct, ask him or her to explain why they are doing it. If they answer, and you listen, you’ve connected

with your child in a vital way.

Tell them you understand their “why” because you’ve been there, but challenge them to listen to your “why not”. Use your past experience to direct them away from the behavior and explain the pitfalls. After you discuss the “what’s and why’s”, be sure to share the “where.” Remind them that they can find help, love, direction, and support in you.

Some additional good news is that children are taught more by what parents’ model is now than by what you once did.

“While teenagers sometimes seem to ignore what parents say, they carefully observe what parents do,” Leman says.

“Passing on values is a visual transfer as much as it is a verbal one. Wise parents open their lives - not just their mouths - in order to communicate with their teenagers.”

Don’t let your past failures put a damper on your teen’s future. Someday you’ll look back on these years and say to your grown up child, “It wasn’t easy to walk the walk of a Christian. …but you did it!”

Issue No. 6 - 2013

39

ACROSS 1. but the ___ wound had been healed (Rev 13:3) 6. by him we cry, ___, Father (Rom 8:15) 10. looked like ___ ___ of glass, clear as crystal (1,3) (Rev 4:6) 14. he shewed me ___ ___ river of water of life (1,4) (Rev 22:1) KJV 15. let God be true, but every man a ____ (Romans 3:4) 16. rip, split (Luke 12:18) 17. He ___ first among the works of God (Job 40:19) 18. according to the ___ sect of our religion (Acts 26:5) 20. saying, ___, Eli, lama sabachthani (Matt 27:46) 21. and loose his ____ from off his foot (Deut 25:9) 23. But the ___ of the Most High will receive the kingdom (Dan 7:18) 24. King Cyrus issued a ___ to rebuild this house of God (Ezra 5:13) 26. this message will bring ___ terror (Isa 28:19) 28. Bring me a heifer, a goat and ___ ___ (1,3) (Gen 15:9) 30. All flying ___ that swarm are unclean (Deut 14:19) 34. in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the ___ trumpet (1 Cor 15:52) 37. So she took her ___ and covered herself (Gen 24:65) 39. How right they are to ___ you (Song 1:4) 40. Four days ____ I was fasting until this hour (Acts 10:30) 41. A busybody in other peoples business (1 Peter 4:15) 43. To ___, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world (2 Cor 5:19) (KJV) 44. ram that you saw represents the kings of ___ and Persia (Dan 8:20) 46. being not a forgetful hearer, but a ____ of the work (James 1:25) 47. the poison of ___ is under their lips (Rom 3:13) KJV 48. ___ ___ came to hearken, named Rhoda (1,6) (Acts 12:13) KJV 50. Come, ____ kill him and take his inheritance (Matt 21:38) 52. cast his idols of silver to the ___ and to the bats (Isa 2:20) KJV 54. cypress wood from the ___ of Cyprus (Ezek 27:6) 58. I will ___ above the tops of the clouds (Isa 14:14) 61. were bound in their coats, their hosen, and their ___ (Dan 3:21) KJV 63. upon thine heart, and ____ them about thy neck (Prov 6:21) KJV 64. remember what Balak king of Moab ___ (Mic 6:5) 66. charge like warriors; they ___ walls like soldiers (Joel 2:7) 68. rims, spokes and ___ were all of cast metal (1 Kings 7:33) 69. Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and ___ the five kings of Midian (Num 31:8) 70. A stingy man is ___ to get rich (Prov 28:22) 71. Above all ___ , guard your heart (Prov 4:23) 72. close to the ___ just above the waistband (Ex 39:20) 73. I also want women to ___ modestly, with decency (1 Tim 2:9)

40 Issue No. 6 - 2013

DOWN 1. fine linen, and ____ sumptuously every day (Luke 16:19) 2. there before me was ___ ___ horse (1,4) (Rev 6:8) 3. Wear sandals but not an extra ___ (Mark 6:9) 4. Come thou and all thy house into the ____ (Gen 7:1) (KJV) 5. the ___ person is blessed by the greater (Heb 7:7) 6. “You ___ were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said (Matt 26:69) 7. In the end it ___ like a snake (Prov 23:32) 8. have them shut the doors and ____ them (Neh 7:3) 9. wicked men have ___ among you (Deut 13:13) 10. with the linen mitre shall he be ___ (Lev 16:4) KJV 11. when they had ____ the miracle that Jesus did (John 6:14) 12. drove the sea back with a strong ___ wind (Exod 14:21) 13. the magicians tried to produce gnats by their secret ___ (Ex 8:18) 19. In those days ___ Augustus issued a decree (Luke 2:1) 22. your tithes, and ____ offerings of your hand (Deut 12:6) 25. rodent 27. He had forty sons and thirty grandsons (Judg 12:14) 29. therefore ___ not with him that flattereth with his lips (Prov 20:19) (KJV) 31. sheep, and cheese from ___ milk for David (2 Sam 17:29) 32. men of violence who plan to ___ my feet (Ps 140:4) 33. So if the Son ___ you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:36) 34. Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, ___ sabachthani?” (Mark 15:34) 35. Even on the ____ you laid a very heavy yoke (Isa 47:6) 36. with soap and my hands with washing ___ (Job 9:30) 38. ___ ___not forget your precepts (1,2) (Ps 119:141) 41. workmen: stonecutters, ___ and carpenters (1 Chron 22:15) 42. ____ siege works against it, build a ramp up to it (Ezek 4:2) 45. Very large (Ezek 1:4) 47. If ye have faith ___ ___ grain of mustard seed (2,1) (Matt 17:20) KJV 49. The ___ who direct the affairs of the church (1 Tim 5:17) 51. Moses ___ it into the air, and festering boils broke out (Ex 9:10) 53. When the queen of ___ heard about the fame of Solomon (IKing 10:1) 55. returned to their place and ran at flood ___ as before (Josh 4:18) 56. on his mat through the ___ into the middle of the crowd (Luke 5:19) 57. The ___ will be ashamed and the diviners disgraced (Mic 3:7) 58. Even in laughter the heart may ___ (Prov 14:13) 59. with all your heart and with all your ___ (Deut 13:3) 60. fierce as a wild bear robbed of her ___ (2 Sam 17:8) 62. gardener of Eden 65. opposite to windward side (naut.)

67. slaughtering them along the way to a point below Beth ___ (1 Sam 7:11) Answers on Page 44

Budget Busters C O N T ’ D F R O M P. 2 1

Transportation 1. Automobile expenses (monthly payment, repairs and maintenance, gas and oil, tags and insurance) should not exceed 15 percent of Net Spendable Income.

2. Evaluate the reason for trading. Is it a need or simply a desire?

3. Can a present car be repaired for less than six monthly payments on a new car?

4. Pay cash for a new car if possible.

If not, make sure the current car is paid off before purchasing a new one.

5. Buy a quality used car rather than a new one.

6. Avoid car leases.

7. Perform routine maintenance and minor repairs yourself.

8. Purchase supplies at wholesale

distributors.

9. Use the cheapest gasoline recommended by the owner manual.

10. Consider dropping collision insurance if the car is four years old or older.

Debts 1. Destroy any credit card that you cannot pay in full each month.

2. Establish a payment schedule that pays all creditors regularly.

3. Buy with cash and sacrifice wants and desires until debts are current.

Medical and dental 1. Teach children to eat the right foods and clean their teeth properly.

2. Take care of the physical body through diet, rest, and exercise and it will most likely respond with better health.

3. Question doctors and dentists in advance regarding costs.

4. Shop around for prescriptions and ask for generic drugs.

Savings 1. Use payroll deduction, if possible, for savings. This removes the money for savings before it is received as salary.

2. If payroll deduction is not available, use automatic bank withdrawal from the checking account.

3. Write a check to the savings account as if it were another creditor.

4. When an existing debt is paid off, reallocate that money to savings.

Adapted from the article “Budget Busters”

by Crown Financial, Inc. Used with permission.

Creating a Safe Marriage C O N T ’ D F R O M P. 1 9

literally hundreds of words and phrases describing my mom’s value. It was amazing.

“When I first start to read through the list, I’m still upset,” explained my dad. “I usually get to the first three or four items and think, ‘What was I thinking?’ or ‘This one is no longer valid!’ or ‘I’m definitely going to erase that one.’ But then the farther down I read, the faster I realize that you have an amazing mom.”

This is the best idea I’ve ever heard for recognizing someone’s value. Talk about creating safety. It’s also what my father does to get his heart back open. Luke 12:34 explains why it is so powerful: “For where your treasure is, so there will your heart be also.”

In other words, your heart will be open to what you value.

One way to keep your heart open and your spouse feeling

safe with you is to focus on her value.

We can create this honor list for our spouse as well.

Take several minutes to list all the reasons why your spouse is so valuable. For example: a character trait, faith pattern, values, morals, parenting skills, spirituality, the roles he or she plays that you appreciate (worker, friend, parent, sibling, son), personality characteristic, how he or she treats you, etc.

And don’t keep the amazing list to yourself – share it with your spouse. Let her know that you recognize her value.

When this happens, not only does your spouse benefit, but you are positively impacted as well.

Adapted from Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage, published by Howard Books.

Copyright Greg Smalley.

Sourced from the Internet

Issue No. 6 - 2013

41

42 Issue No. 6 - 2013

Answers on Page 44

What If We Relied Less On Hope?

For five years I held on to hope and faith concerning a specific life changing event, which, to my hurt and disappointment, did not work out. So it led me to question hope, but as I started my research on that I ended up finding that my question was more on the issue of faith.

So what exactly am I talking about?

Let’s first define these terms to get a bit of clarity. The Oxford English Dictionary defines hope as a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen; and it defines faith as complete trust or confidence. So with this context, for those five years of my life I had the expectation and desire that things would have worked out, and I had complete confidence that it would.

At first I became angry with “hope” when things didn’t work out. I was angry that I had expected a positive outcome, and so I asked myself the question, “what if we relied less on hope?” I started to think of the many situations where we apply the concept of hope, such as when we tell a friend “I hope you will have a good day”, or “I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow.” I laughed as I considered these statements, and thought to myself, ‘we have absolutely no control over the weather, and most of the time when we “hope” that others will have a good day, we won’t impact those persons’ day and have no control over what obstacles those persons’ may experience on that day, but being the humans that we are, we “hope” anyway’.

I laughed as I considered how, at work we tend to start off the body of our emails with “Hope you are well”. My having hope about a client’s health is not going to impact whatever is the reality, yet I “hope” anyway. In all these questions something became evident to me. Two

things in fact – faith and fate.

I kept seeing that answers can’t change the outcome; the difference to reality, and I thought, ‘oh so fate is a big part of my unfortunate setbacks’. I realized that there is little escaping “hope” because one way or another you have to have expectations and desires in this life, even if at the very least the reality is that you will wake up the next morning. Or on the contrary, for those who don’t want to wake up, they could have a desire to die!

I further realized that for those five years I had not only hoped, but had held on to “faith”. I trusted completely that things would have worked out as I had planned, so I did not make adequate preparation for Plan B, in case things did not work out. To be honest, I was the kind of person who always had so much faith that I thought that it was all I needed in order to achieve whatever I wanted. But this setback reminded me of something. It reminded me that

B y K arlene S tewart

God is in control, and not I. While faith is good, it is even better to be conscious of our limitations. This is where fate comes in. The Oxford English Dictionary defines fate as the development of events outside a person’s control, regarded as decided in advance by a supernatural power.

So my setback helped me to realise that all along my faith had been misdirected. I needed to put my faith in God, and accept that I do not have complete control over my circumstances, and as such will not receive every desire I have in this life. Now I still hope, but while I do, I pray and ask God for His guidance. I no longer lean on my own understanding, but trust that God knows what is best for me, and whatever that best is, I choose to accept it. When he closes a door on me I know it’s because it’s not His will for me, and I accept that and patiently wait for His will to be done in my life.

Issue No. 6 - 2013

43

sudoku All Nations United Pentecostal Church (UPC) 23A Woodlake Drive George Town Grand Cayman Tel: (345) 949 9533

Honor & Glory International Christian Center

Unit 1-A1, Trinity Square Plaza, Eastern Ave, George Town T: (345) 939 0851 or 327 9840

United Church in Jamaica & the Cayman Islands

Instructions: Solve the 16x16 Sudoku so the numbers 1 to 9 appear once in each row, column and 4x4 box.

44 Issue No. 6 - 2013

• East End United Church Tel: (345) 947 7618 • Elmslie Memorial (George Town) Tel: (345) 949 7923 • George Hicks United (South Sound) Tel: (345) 949 7923 • John Gray Memorial (West Bay) Tel: (345) 949 1378 • Robert Young (Crewe Road) Tel: (345) 947 6071 • Savannah United Church Tel: (345) 947 6071 • William Pouchie Memorial (North Side ) Tel: (345) 947 3070 • Webster Memorial (Bodden Town) Tel: (345) 947 3070