2021 December Issue

TRANSFORMING

THE

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

SURVIVING

IN A

SEXLESS MARRIAGE

HOT

WINTER FASHIONS

LIVES OF MEN

THE

MAYOR OF THE VILLAGE

18

WINTER

WONDERS AROUND THE CLE DECEMBER 2021 ISSUE

INSIDE

37

SURVIVING IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE A three-part series on how married couples fall into the trap of a sexless marriage, the effect a lack of sex can have on each other, and, finally, what can be done to bring sex back into the relationship.

ON THE COVER

22

HOT WINTER FASHIONS Winter season is “The most wonderful time of the year” for getting dressed and layered to withstand

those frigid and blustery days of the winter season.

10 MAN CODES Quotes by people who promote selfcare.

12 THE MAYOR OF THE VILLAGE Ben Holbert decided to do more for the community he lives in. So, he ran for mayor and found his calling at the same time.

21 MOVIE PREVIEW: A JOURNAL FOR JORDAN Love pours out of this film when a father journals an entire life of lessons for his unborn son.

28 THE POWER OF A BUSINESS PLAN

8 MOVERS AND SHAKERS Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

residents to explore The Land with their visiting friends and family.

14 18 WINTER WONDERS AROUND THE CLE Destination Cleveland encourages

For new business owners, their success is often dictated by the formation of a sound business plan.

CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 3

[ INSIDE ] .

ADVERTISE WITH CODE M

32

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN Making it very clear on what men need to expect from themselves, their goals and their lives going into 2022.

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TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

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IT CONSULTANT Anthony Jones Digital Jetstream, LLC CONTRIBUTING WRITERS David Christel Anthony Kirby Brad J. Bowling Bolling Smith Bilal S. Akram

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Corle y Lawre nce Burnley CODE MEDIA GROUP LLC

RADIO/PODCAST HOSTS

STAFF

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CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.

Code M Magazine is published

by CODE MEDIA GROUP, LLC © 2021 All Rights Reserved

[ TRAVEL ]

CODE M / AUGUST 2021 9

MOVERS &

SHAKERS

C O U R T N E Y 8 DECEMBER 2021 / CODE M

Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

O T T R I X

[ MOVERS & SHAKERS ]

COURTNEY OTTRIX Courtney Lynn Ottrix is the founder and curator of Courtney Covers Cleveland, a digital platform that shines a spotlight on hidden gems, exciting events, and noteworthy people in the city she loves.

That brand has quickly expanded beyond its original Cleveland focus, cementing Courtney’s status as a go-to source for lifestyle tips, beauty, family, and event planning as well.

GRADY STEVENSON, JR. The Elder Grady L. Stevenson, Jr. serves faithfully as the Pastor of Damascus Road Ministries, C.O.G.I.C. He is a graduate of the Cleveland Public School system and furthered his education at the William Morgan James Ministerial Training Institute for Ohio North Jurisdiction #1, where in 1998 he received a Masters Degree in Bible Studies. From 2006-2008 he attended the Northeast Ohio School of Ministry under Director C. Curtis Brown for Christian Counseling.

TAMIKA DRAKE Tamika Drake is the Assistant Athletic Director - Director of Game Day Operations and the Director of Diversity & Inclusion at Missouri Valley College in Marshall, Missouri. She came to Missouri Valley in 2014 as a Graduate Assistant Coach for the Women's and Men's volleyball programs and hired as a full-time Assistant Coach from 2015-2017. In 2017, she was named the Director of Volleyball Operations / Head Women's Volleyball Coach taking over a program that experienced its best season in over 20 years.

The women's volleyball team finished with a 33-11 record, made an appearance in the NAIA Women's Volleyball National Championship for the first time, won the program's first National postseason match and advanced to National pool play in Sioux City, Iowa.

CECIL LIPSCOMB Cecil J. Lipscomb is the Executive Director of the United Black Fund of Greater Cleveland, Inc. (UBF). Founded in 1981, UBF is a charitable organization that provides financial (grants) and technical support to neighborhood-based organizations, offering a full range of health and human service programs for the residents of Cleveland’s African American and lower income communities.

In 2019, he received the Smart Business 50 Innovation, Impact and Sustainability Award for his work at UBF. CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 9

MAN CODES:

QUOTES BY PEOPLE WHO PROMOTE SELF-CARE Compiled by Bilal S. Akram

“Self-care has become a new priority – the revelation that it’s perfectly permissible to listen to your body and do what it needs.” - Frances Ryan

quires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” - Parker Palmer

“The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” – Bruce Lee

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do.” – Andrew Carnegie

“Just because you take breaks doesn’t mean you’re broken.”

- Curtis Tyrone Jones

“Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know that this is the moment you most need to make time to relax.”

- Matt Haig

“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving.

When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” - Bell Hooks

“The body can endure practically anything pain, fatigue, you name it- but it’s the mind that matters.” - Dave Pelzer

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Joe Sabah

“How to heal: read books, listen to jazz, ride motorbikes, get tattooed” - Malebo Sephodi

“Nothing happens until something moves.” – Albert Einstein

“Sometimes feeling good isn’t about picking up more things to do, but about letting go of things that have nothing to do with you.” - Curtis Tyrone Jones

“Everyone should take time out once in a while to recharge and revitalize their energy.” - Michael Lee “Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it re-

14 SEPTEMBER 2021 / CODE M 10 DECEMBER 2021 / CODE M

Proverbs 19:8- “To acquire wisdom is to love yourself; people who cherish understanding will prosper.” New Living Translation

[ HEALTH ]

THE

MAYOR OF THE VILLAGE

Ben Holbert decided to do more for the community he lives in. So, he ran for mayor and found his calling at the same time.

by Brad Bowling

CLE STRONG C

Holbert’s attempts to improve the city.

ommunities across Northeast Ohio are working hard to remain relevant. After the pandemic, cities need to find a way to keep revenues coming in, keep the schools strong and offer a safe, fun environment for people to want to live in.

“The political fight with council intensified to the point that a community group stated it was known as the ‘Woodmere project,’ Holbert said. “These residences became so frustrated with four council members, that they pushed forward for a recall.”

For Ben Holbert, his passion for where he lives has turned into a thriving job. Starting off a city council member in 2001, Holbert helped make Woodmere Village, on Cleveland’s Eastside, a glowing community.

After four new members were voted in, Holbert was allowed to accept the funds he requested to finish a pathway that connects Woodmere to Orange Village on the west side of Brainard Road.

The $265,000 awarded from the State of Ohio was just the beginning of what Holbert wanted to do for the city.

In 2018 the 640 residents of Woodmere Village elected the former TV reporter as mayor and asked him to do more for the city. That task was met with resistance as several city councilmembers decided to reduce the staff and block all

16 12 OCTOBER DECEMBER2021 2021/ /CODE CODEMM

Holbert won his re-election in 2021 when he ran unopposed.

With the right team and the city behind him, Holbert expects his

new projects will move faster and continue to make Woodmere a place where people want to live and shop.

Eton Center is one of the best places in Northeast Ohio to eat and shop and there are plans to have more shops open soon.

“The community has 300 businesses, with more than 25,000 cars coming through our community on a daily basis,” Holbert said. “We have produced two outstanding music festivals in Woodmere that have generated significant community interest.”

Because of his media background, Holbert has been able to capitalize on opportunities to promote the village on radio and television and in newspapers.

Going into 2022, Holbert and the city of Woodmere Village expect to do more wonderful things. With the current political climate, Holbert watches his health very carefully to make sure he can perform his mayoral duties.

The future looks bright for the city, its mayor, and for those who call Woodmere Village home. ●

CODEMM/ /DECEMBER OCTOBER 2021 13 17 CODE

CLE

18

WINTER

Destination Cleveland encourages residents to explore The Land with their visiting friends and family.

WONDERS AROUND THE CLE

14 DECEMBER 2021 / CODE M

E

xtra holiday cheer is in order this year. Luckily, there’s no shortage of festive fun for Clevelanders. With the return of in-person seasonal celebrations, it’s the perfect opportunity for locals to crack open a Christmas ale, don their pink bunny suits, and experience all the excitement that makes holidays in the CLE the merriest of all.

HEALTH & SAFETY ALERT: Safety protocols vary by venue and, in some cases, by event at venues. Residents are encouraged to review both venue and eventspecific protocols before arriving at an event.

Santa Sightings Once the Thanksgiving leftovers are packed up, St. Nick will make his first stops of the season. Clevelanders hoping to share their wish list with the big man to kick off their Christmas festivities can catch him at one of several appearance in

the CLE. Wild Winter Lights Wild Winter Lights returns this holiday season transforming Cleveland Metroparks Zoo into a winter wonderland.

The all-new display features more than one million individual lights and a 50foot-tall tree. Attendees can enjoy carousel rides, ice carvers, and live music. Photos with Santa are also available. A drive-through option on certain days allows residents to stay cozy in their cars as they take in the light displays.

Tuesdays – Sundays, Nov. 16 – Jan. 2 (closed Thanksgiving Day & Christmas

[ FILM ]

CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 19

[ CLE ]

Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad’s North Pole Adventure is always an amazing attraction during the holiday season.

Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve & New Year’s Day) Drive-through dates: Nov. 16–17, 23, 30, Dec. 1, 7–8, 13–15, Jan. 2

morning includes a breakfast buffet, cookie decorating, hot cocoa by the fire, and a meet and greet with Mr. Kringle himself. Festive attire, including holiday pajamas, is encouraged.

Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, 3900 Wildlife Way, Cleveland Advance tickets required (Zoo admission does not include access)

Dec. 4, 5, 11, 12, 19 at 8:30, 9:00, 10:30 and 11:00 a.m.

Scuba Claus at the Greater Cleveland Aquarium

The Burnham Restaurant at Hilton Cleveland Downtown, 100 Lakeside Ave. E, Cleveland

Before he hitches up his sleigh, Santa will be zipping up his wetsuit and taking the plunge at the Greater Cleveland Aquarium.

The magical man in red will be immersed in 230,000 gallons of saltwater as he chats with residents about their favorite holiday traditions, answers their diving questions and, of course, lets them know who made the nice list this year. (No need to fear for the big guy’s safety: he’s scuba-certified and always dives with an elf buddy.)

Dec. 18-19, 8:30–10 a.m.; Dec. 20–22, 4:30 –7 p.m.

Greater Cleveland Aquarium, 2000 Sycamore St., Cleveland Advance tickets required, available here.

Breakfast with Mr. Kringle Clevelanders can break out the Christmas jammies and head to the Burnham Restaurant at Hilton Downtown Cleveland for breakfast with the big guy. The magical

16 DECEMBER 2021 / CODE M

Tickets available online.

Light Up Lakewood Attendees can keep their eyes peeled for Santa sightings as they stroll Lakewood’s downtown district during the 15th Annual Light Up Lakewood celebration on Dec. 4. The family-friendly event will feature a holiday parade along Detroit Avenue, a vendor village, ice carvings, children’s games, and a lighting ceremony.

Saturday, Dec. 4, 4–8 p.m.

Detroit Ave. in Downtown Lakewood Cleveland Pops Orchestra The Cleveland Pops Orchestra and Chorus will fill Playhouse Square’s Connor Palace with the sounds of the season during its “Holiday Spectacular” concert. Concertgoers can enjoy festive fun in the lobby before the show and dur-

ing intermission, including a photo op with Santa and visits with adoptable pets from local animal shelters.

Sunday, Nov. 28, 2 p.m.

Connor Palace, 1615 Euclid Ave., Cleveland Tickets available online.

Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad’s North Pole Adventure Locals looking for a one-day holiday getaway can climb aboard the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad for a visit to the North Pole. Adventurers can enjoy cookies and cocoa as they write their letters to Santa, which they can then handdeliver to the North Pole postmaster.

The festivities continue on the journey home, when a jolly visitor in a red suit makes an appearance.

Rockside Station, 7900 Old Rockside Rd., Independence or Akron Northside Station, 27 Ridge St., Akron Details, schedule, and tickets available online.

HANUKKAH HAPPENINGS From cars topped with candles to the chance for kids to make their own menorah, the Hanukkah spirit will be burning bright in Cleveland this year.

CODE M / NOVEMBER CODE M / APRIL 2021 2021 21 19

[ CLE ]

Menorah Parade

Chanukah Hoopla

SEASONAL SHOWS

One of the more unique ways to celebrate the holiday, the “Light After Dark” parade will feature cars topped with large, lit-up menorahs to celebrate the first night of Hanukkah. The parade kicks off from Legacy Village and will wind through parts of Lyndhurst, Beachwood, and University Heights before wrapping up in Cleveland Heights. Paradegoers can enjoy music, traditional Hanukkah treats, and special giveaways while watching the procession of candle-topped cars weave through the community.

The Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage will put a new twist on age-old traditions during its virtual “Chanukah Hoopla” event on Dec.5. Along with the lighting of the menorah, the virtual event will include holiday songs and dance, a letter writing activity and an opportunity for the younger participants to show off their favorite holiday objects and traditions from home.

Cleveland’s theaters and performance halls will be decked out and chock full of holiday cheer for audiences this winter.

Sunday, Nov. 28 beginning at 3 p.m.

Chanukah Woodworking Craft

Full route map available online.

For a hands-on way to celebrate Chanukah, families can join jHUB for a free woodworking craft at Lakewood’s Cove Park. With their parents’ help, kids will build their own menorah or a candle box holder. Families can enjoy snacks and warm drinks at the park or grab their kit to take home and build.

Downtown Menorah Lighting The heart of Downtown Cleveland will shine on the fourth night of Hanukkah as the menorah at Public Square is lit on Dec. 1. Clevelanders of all faiths are invited to join the celebration with Downtown Chabad, which will include music, dancing, hot cocoa, and snacks.

Wednesday, Dec. 1, 5:30 p.m.

Public Square in Downtown Cleveland

Sunday, Dec. 5, 1:30 p.m.

Online event; more information and registration available online.

Saturday, Nov. 20, 10:30–11:30 a.m.

Cove Park, 1294 Cove Ave., Lakewood Free event, pre-register online.

Great Lakes Theater Company will bring the Charles Dicken classic, “A Christmas Carol,” to life at the Mimi Ohio Theatre from Nov. 26 through Dec. 23.

Cleveland Playhouse will host the world premiere of a family-friendly holiday musical set in Cleveland as “Light It Up!” takes the stage beginning Nov. 27.

The holiday favorite ballet, “The Nutcracker,” returns to Playhouse Square’s Connor Palace with five performances from Dec. 3-5.

Beck Center for the Arts will offer holiday fun for the whole family with “Elf, the Musical,” Dec. 3 through Jan. 2.

Langston Hughes’ famed retelling of the Nativity story comes back to Cleveland as Karamu House presents “The Black Nativity,” Dec. 2–24.

Mandel Concert Hall at Severance will transform into a winter wonderland as The Cleveland Orchestra hosts its holiday concerts, Dec. 9–19.

Music Box Supper Club will be in the holiday spirit as it hosts several Christmas-themed brunch events, including a Holiday Edition Beatles Brunch and Polka Brunch with Santa and Krampus.

See Santa swim with sharks at the Greater Cleveland Aquarium this holiday season.

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[ COVER ]

PLEASE NOTE: The Cleveland Visitors Center will operate under special hours the weeks of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Week of Thanksgiving: Wednesday, Nov. 24, 10 a.m. – 3p.m.; Thursday, Nov. 25 and Friday, Nov. 26, closed; Saturday, Nov. 27, 10 a.m. –7 p.m.

Week of Christmas: Tuesday, Dec. 21–Thursday, Dec.23, 10 a.m. –6 p.m.; Friday, Dec. 24–Monday, Jan. 3, Cleveland Visitors Center closed; visitor services available virtually via phone, live chat, and email.

DON’T FORGET: Destination Cleveland’s Concierge Team is available to help residents and their visiting family and friends explore the region. Contact the team via email (cleconcierge@destinationcle.org), live chat at thisiscleveland.com, or stop at the Cleveland Visitors Center (334 Euclid Ave., Cleveland) Tues. –Sat., 10 a.m.

–6 p.m. to plan your holiday happenings. Full calendar of winter events & activities available online. ●

CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 23

COVER [ TRAVEL ]

24 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M

FILM FILM REVIEW

MOVIE PREVIEW:

A JOURNAL FOR JORDAN Love pours out of this film when a father journals an entire life of lessons for his unborn son.

by Bowling Smith

W

hen people venture to the movies, they go to see something larger than life. We also crave to see something that’s outside of our regular lives. But lately, with real life so out of control, it was nice to see a simple movie with a sweetly sentimental theme: falling in love with your soulmate.

The movie is vulnerable because it lets us see the soon-to-be parents when they’re up and down, when they’re scared and prideful. The movie also introduces us to the understanding that we still have something to fight for, that we can all be better, we can love more deeply, and we can still have hope for the future.

A Journal for Jordan, starring Michael B. Jordan and directed

by Denzel Washington, is a movie based on the true story of 1st Sergeant Charles Monroe King (Jordan). A soldier deployed to Iraq, he begins to keep a journal of love and advice for his infant son.

The movie introduces us to Chanté Adams who plays Dana Canedy, Jordan’s love interest in the film. She does an amazing job of helping us fall in love with the film and story. The chemistry between Jordan and Adams is truly believable and blossoms throughout the film.

I warn you now that the movie takes a long time to get going.

What I didn’t know at the time is that my mind, soul, and spirit needed just such a movie. There were no overhyped killings, no action car sequences, no buildings exploding. A Journal for Jordan is a simple love story played out on the big screen.

There are no surprises in the film. From the beginning, we learn that Jordan is killed in action while serving in Iraq. What we discover over the course of the film is how the journal, written for his son, impacts the small family and us as moviegoers.

The movie stretches the limits of patience, but it also sets us up for what we all need — and right now, we could all use a mushy love story where we admire and identify with the movie’s characters who remind us why we still hope for the best in people. The film reminds us that falling and being in love is still the best feeling in the world.

Anyone who needs to reconnect with their own desire to feel and be in touch with their hearts again will be challenged to not cry at the end of this movie. If you’re in need of something real, something that helps center your spirit back in a place of balance and heart, see this film. You’ll enjoy the opportunity to feel again. ●

CODE M / DECEMBER 2021

21

COVER

HOT

WINTER FASHIONS

The winter season is “The most wonderful time of the year” for getting dressed and layered to withstand those frigid and blustery days of the winter season.

Written by ANTHONY KIRBY Anthony T. Kirby is the Fashion & Lifestyle Editor for CODE M Magazine and has spent over 30 years in the menswear industry. He lives in Philadelphia, PA where he is the Creative Director for FINICKEY, an online men's haberdashery brand. (https:// finickey.us)

I

t’s time to adjust. We’ve set our clocks back, we’re seeing the days are going by faster and they’re shorter now. We’re starting to feel the colder days coming on.

Old-man winter has made his reservations to stay with us for at least the next four months. Treat the season right.

At last, we can transition to another season for a wardrobe change. Yes, I don’t want to see someone walking through town in a tshirt, shorts, and flip-flops. We’re done with summer. Time to move on.

22 DECEMBER 2021 / CODE M

Winter season is “The most wonderful time of the year” for getting dressed and layered to withstand those frigid and blustery days of the winter season. But you also want to look stylish while keeping warm. It can be a little tricky to figure out your

wardrobe.

Growing up in Philadelphia, I recall having four seasons: winter, spring, summer, and fall. We were able to dress accordingly for each season. Ms. Retta, aka mom, was spearheading the wardrobe department for my brother

[ COVER ]

and me. When the winter season came around, it was all about dressing for warmth, not fashion. Heavy parka coats, mittens, scratchy wool scarf, and matching knit cap. We wore those green galoshes with the metal snap closures where snow

always found its way into the boots. When you got to school, your socks were soaked.

while bundling us up with layers of clothing.

Getting home from school, we couldn’t wait to get out of all the layering. As you can tell, nothing was fashionable, it was about function: “staying warm and not catching a cold,” as mom would repeatedly tell us

As I came into my own decision making and a little money, dressing appropriately for the seasons played a part in how I got through whatever weather conditions I encountered — especially the winter CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 23

[ COVER ] season, which can bring on many challenges. But it can also create opportunities for expressing love of the winter months in one’s attire.

What makes the months of December through March enjoyable for those of us who live in the Mid-west and Northeast regions of the country who love dressing for the season? Well, it starts with a variety of richness in colors, fabrics, and the art of layering to keep warm while still looking well-attired.

Once the fall foliage comes around, we want our colors to move from bright pastels to dark and rich colors. Here are my ideal colors to consider for the winter season: charcoal, navy, forest green, mustard, wine, camel, and hickory. Also, think russet, cordovan, espresso, and saddle brown to round out the earth tones of the winter season.

Shirt by STEVEN LAND Pants by WILLIAM RAST Shoes by VLADO

When considering what to wear to be warm, don’t sacrifice style and comfort for warmth. You’ll thank me later when you’re not missing days at work because you’re in bed with the flu. So, selecting the right types of fabrics will defend your body from the elements of the day. Here are my favorite go-to fabrics: Wool: Two things: it’s warm and insulates, protecting the body from heat, as well the cold. Wool is a fall/winter staple in menswear. You’ll find this fabric is used from socks and beanies to coats. It’ll cover you from head to toe. I would recommend not wearing all of these at the same time as this will make you excessively hot.

Corduroy: You should have at least one or two garments in this cloth. Generally made from 100% cotton, it’s warm and flexible.

This unique cloth has ribbing in the fabric or “wale.” It comes in different thicknesses, the thicker wale the warmer. Also, corduroy comes in a range of colors and is used in outerwear, trousers, shirts, and jackets.

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[ LIFE ]

[ LIFE ]

Styled By Decarlo

[ COVER ] Flannel: A lightly brushed fabric often made from wool, cotton, or a blend. It too, insulates just like wool, but it has a softer feel and richer texture. It’s ideal for trousers, blazers, and shirts.

Cashmere: The luxe fabric for the winter season, it’s a type of fabric made from goat’s hair. It provides warmth without any weight. What you get is the softest to the touch and least irritating to the skin. The ideal wardrobe pieces would be knitwear and scarves. One takeaway I would recommend is hand-washing your cashmere pieces as they’ll have greater longevity over the time you own them.

Merino: Similar in feel and look to cashmere, this wool from the Merino sheep has a luxurious feel to the skin. It can be worn as a base or part of your layering. I see this as a turtleneck sweater layered under a jacket, cardigan for a little dressier attire, or a hoodie for the early morning java run to your local coffee shop.

With this range of fabric choices, you’ll survive and thrive in the cold months to come and times of harsh winter days. You’ll stay warm and in style because you’ve selected the right colors, fabrics, and seasonal clothing.

I don’t take winter as a negative time of the year, I embrace the three to four months of cold. My positive takeaway is that I know I’m going to enjoy the winter months because I have an arsenal of the right clothing for the right season and now you will, too.●

Fashions Styled By Decarlo Styledbydecarlo@gmail.com Styledbydecarlo.com 440.202.9345

Bag by HOUSE OF LARUE pants/shirt by OLD NAVY Boots by SHOE DEPOT long tee by FRUIT OF THE LOOM

CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 27

BUSINESS

T

he bedrock of any fledgling business is its “business plan.”

For many people, the idea of starting a business is based on a vision of creating something that will reap rewards on many levels. How to get there so one’s dreams are realized is found in a well-laid-out plan that is flexible while robust at the same time.

For businesses to grow, owners must remain focused on the company’s vision and goals, which can be achieved by developing a thorough plan, one that takes into account a number of factors including sales, human capital, market conditions, taxes — and a whole lot more.

Crafting a plan enables a company to outline its vision, mission and goals, and stay on track for growth. Think of business planning as a GPS to navigate the early stages of growth through maturity. While creating the plan may seem cumbersome and

28 DECEMBER 2021 / CODE M

daunting at first, the time invested encourages business owners to research and fully understand their market, competition, and customers.

Business planning helps owners step back and think objectively about the big picture and key elements of the business — establishing milestones, identifying potential weaknesses, and discovering previously unstated assumptions.

“A business plan should not be static, but an ever-evolving process that occurs throughout the lifecycle of the company,” Sunny Adams, a CPA from Apple Growth Partners said.

“From start-up to succession, planning is meant to create a clear path, a guide for action, and backup scenarios for unforeseen contingencies.” Adams concluded.

[ BUSINESS ]

THE

POWER

OF A BUSINESS PLAN For new business owners’, their success is often dictated by the formation of a sound business plan.

By Sunny Adams, CPA, and A’Shira Nelson, CPA Apple Growth Partners | IMPACT, Black Business Initiative

Taxes – Tax planning should occur annually, not only when changes are made to tax laws or government administration.

Tax planning should be completed before or at the beginning of each tax year.

As a starting point, business owners will need to consider: Sales – Accurately forecasting the business’s sales and crafting an accompanying sales plan can help avoid unforeseen cash flow issues. A sales plan can also help manage production and staffing needs to forecast financial results.

One of the possibilities with outlining and enumerating a plan for first-time business owners is that the process can lead to inaction if the owners allow themselves to become bogged down by the details. It’s easy to be overwhelmed while at the same striving to keep on top of developments, customers, product development, inventory, budgets, etc.

Human Capital – Utilizing staffing predictions, companies should create succession plans to ensure a stacked bench of readily available employees, including those in management roles.

One of the ways to avoid overwhelm or floundering is to remain focused on the most important elements: the company’s goals, which are created from the company’s vision and mission statements. That can be followed by clarifying the principles and initial operating procedures within which the company will operate.

Market Conditions – It’s important to anticipate and react to consumer trends, the impact of technology on the company’s space, competition analysis, economic changes, and legislative developments. These considerations can be discussed with the business’s advisory partners.

Very importantly, the scope of business planning should be shared with a business owner’s trusted third-party associates, including the accounting team. Business advisors can help identify gaps in planning or forecasting and provide financial models for corporate structure and tax preparation. Failure to include CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 29

[ LIFE ]

[ BUSINESS ]

an accounting professional in the starting plans could result in unplanned expenses or missed savings opportunities.

Developing a business plan can feel like you’re re-inventing the wheel. On one hand, that’s true in terms of your specific business. On the other hand, though, there are many people who have been through the process, succeeded in building a flourishing business, and are well-versed in the ups and down of business. Study them, learn from them.

“We understand that creating the business plan can be overwhelming to someone looking to start a business.” A‘Shira Nelson, a CPA at Apple Growth Partners said.

“With Apple Growth Partners, we help companies get past this important hurdle by helping them determine what their business needs are.” Nelson commented.

In 2020, Apple Growth Partners debuted IMPACT — Increase Minority Professionals’ Awareness and Create Traction for Change — a focused service for Black and minority business

owners. APG’s IMPACT team can help minority business owners develop or review strategic business planning and identify opportunities for financial savings or preparation for upcoming expenses Apple Growth Partners, headquartered in Akron and with offices in Cleveland, Canton, and Chicago. Their mission is to champion the Healthy Growth® of their people, their clients, and our communities through authenticity, world-class service, and taking care of each other.

If you’re considering a business startup, know that you’re not alone and that a wealth of support is available to help you wade through the process with greater assurance so that you truly realize your dreams. ●

Apple Growth Partners is committed to the Healthy Growth® of businesses, including tailored support and services for Black and minority business owners. Home - Apple Growth Partners CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 31

LIFE TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN Making it very clear on what men need to expect from themselves, their goals and their lives going into 2022.

Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

W

hat a tumultuous year it’s been! No need to go into details — we’ve each got our experiences and perspectives on the ups and downs, the plusses and minuses, the gains and losses. The question is: to what end?

I guess what it really comes down to is the quality of our relationships with family, friends, co-workers, community, self, and life as a whole. COVID-19 forced many of us to re-evaluate our lives, the work we do, what we put our energies toward — and we’re still in that process.

Let’s face it: our lives and the world have changed forever. We’ve made some new decisions about how life should be lived. We’re even questioning the purpose of our lives. We want to know the “why” behind what we invest our time and effort in, the work we do, the people we associate with, what has meaning for us — and we also want to know where the heck we’re going.

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One way to look at life now is as a continuum of transformation. There’s no getting around the fact that we’ve four options to choose from: regressing, becoming static, shifting laterally, or moving onward and upward. Each is a form of transformation, moving from one position to another. That transformation can either shrink or expand us emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Our choice of what kind of transformation we want will create a reality that enlivens, degrades, or entombs us.

For most people, that’s a scary proposition for the simple reason that an-

“

Personal transformation means that our focus and understandings broaden.”

[ LIFE ]

other word for transformation is “change,” something we all tend to shy away from. Change is often regarded in the pejorative, a request or demand to let go of something we cherish whether it’s good for us or not.

Amazingly, we’d rather hold onto something like an addiction, abuse, or deleterious habit than step through the door of opportunity. Why? Because what’s on the other side of the door is an unknown. What’s there could be scary, even worse than our current situation, cause us to move out of our comfort zone, or push us to make even more changes. What it comes down to is whether we love ourselves enough to break through our fears.

The phrase “How can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself

first?” is fitting here. So many of us want another person, group, or the world to change — transform — as though we’re the rubric by which others should pattern themselves. To put it politely, none of us is the epitome of wisdom, the pinnacle of consciousness, the ultimate divine love and beingness.

What we are is travelers on journeys of awakening, blossoming into greater versions of ourselves. Each day is one of striving to know our true selves. In that process, we transform. As we transform, the world around us transforms — not because it has actually transformed, but because the lens through which we view the world in all its facets has changed.

Personal transformation means that our focus and understandings broad-

CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 33

[ LIFE ] en. Very importantly, our perspectives and the meaning we give to anything broaden so that we’re no longer hostage to one-dimensional beliefs and values. We see and grasp a larger picture. As we transform, our consciousness becomes more encompassing, less attached to things being a certain way, and we’re not married to specific outcomes.

Instead, we experience life as a fluid, ever-changing ebb and flow of events occurring for our benefit, not happening to us.

Each event, no matter what it is, has within it opportunities for our further growth, to learn something new about ourselves and life. The result is that we experience newer levels of freedom. We also help light the way for others striving to overcome all sorts of challenges, as did Jesse Owens, Wilma Rudolph, Ruby Bridges, Rosa Parks, Oprah Winfrey, Jackie Robinson, Ursula Burns — and so many more luminaries.

Martin Rutte, author of Project Heaven on Earth: The 3 simple questions that will help you change the world ... easily, has a button he hands out to people that says, “You have to do it by

yourself, and you can’t do it alone.” That may mess with your mind a little but think about it. Essentially, you have to do the work within yourself because no one else can do that inner work for you — and then work with others because the reality is that we’re all in this thing called “life” together.

CODE M Magazine’s tagline is “Transforming the Lives of Men.” As we move into our fifth year of publication, we remain steadfast in our mission of “promoting, celebrating, and showcasing the wonderful men of color who are making a difference.” But we are also highlighting the lives of Black women, businesspeople, athletes, celebrities, educators — all the members of Black communities who — together — uplift, support, expand, honor, and transform the lives of all.

Transformation may seem like it’s a big undertaking. It doesn’t have to be. Sometimes, the most subtle of transformations are the most life-changing, heartrending, and consciousness expanding. And then there are the times when massive transformation is called for as that’s the only thing that will break through the mental/emotional stasis we’re in. The question is whether we’re willing to step up, face ourselves, and let go of what no longer positively serves us.

Our world today seems to be slowly smothering under the weight of distractions, conflict, addictions, greed, fear and the lust for power, control, fame, and wealth. People are strenuously and without thought to consequences pushing the boundaries of entertainment, rudeness, crass behavior, and violence. They mistakenly think that this will help them attain power, control, fame, and wealth. That can happen — and we have a ton of examples attesting to this — but none of that can buy: Manners

Morals

Respect

Character

Common sense Trust

Patience

Class

Integrity

Truth

Compassion

Love

All of these intangibles are intrinsic to every human being, yet we each have our own understanding of what they mean and how they’re expressed. Practicing and living each unconditionally every day and in all circumstances allows for trial and error, the chance to spread our wings and rise to new heights of comprehension, to delve more deeply into answering the questions “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “What and who do I want to be?” That is transformation.

CODE M’s desire is to move us out of the Age of Misinfor-

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[ LIFE ]

mation (adroitly manipulated via our digital facility) into the Age of Spacious Illumination (insight, intuitive capacity, interconnectedness, and compassion). That’s why we are focused on the areas that most affect the lives of African Americans: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, health, and financial.

Within those six areas are a wealth of subjects we highlight to engage readers’ curiosity, inspire creativity, present opportunities for greater discourse, touch hearts, deepen awareness, and, ulti-

mately, support each reader’s journey of awakening.

At the beginning of this article, the question was asked in reference to this past year: to what end? The answer is: It’s all about transformation and making a better world for everyone. We have a choice of regressing, becoming static, shifting laterally, or moving onward and upward.

Let’s choose the latter! ●

CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 39

[ EDUCATION ]

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[ LIFE ]

SURVIVING IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE A three-part series on how married couples fall into the trap of a sexless marriage, the effect a lack of sex can have on each other, and, finally, what can be done to bring sex back into the relationship.

Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 37

[ LIFE ]

T

he idea of being in a sexless marriage always comes across as surprising. How does this even happen? To find the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with and then to stop sharing intimate moments somehow seems preposterous. But it’s happening more than anyone wants to admit.

Research from the sociology department at Georgia State University suggests that 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse within the past six to 12 months. With the pandemic, those numbers have been rising.

While those numbers seem alarming, the greater question is: Why is this happening to so many married couples? The answer stems from dozens of legitimate reasons: health, children, sex drive, and polarity all play a role in reducing the opportunity for sex. For most people who we’ve asked about the topic, changes in the dynamic of the relationship

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[ LIFE ]

drove a wedge into many couple’s sex life.

•

Substance abuse

You would think the answer of just hopping back into the sack would be easy to suggest. But the longer a couple has gone without sex, the harder it is to reconnect with each other.

•

Certain medications

“I have begged my wife to have sex with me several times. At this point, I just accept that we’re going to have to schedule sex once a month like she wants,” Keith from Bedford Heights said.

If any of these situations exist, it could cause someone to lose their sex drive. If two or more of these situations exist, it makes the problem even more complex and significantly harder to resolve.

•

Smoking

•

Health conditions

“When my husband and I got married, he really didn’t want to have sex on our wedding night. It shocked me, and it just got worse from there. I have cried, fought, threatened, and even left him to get his attention,” Tiffany from Brook Park said. “I finally just gave up. We sleep back-to-back and we don’t talk about it anymore. We just kind of co-exist and I have come to the realization that sex is not in the cards for me anymore.” Tiffany concluded.

•

Stress

LIVING WITH NO SEX

•

Fatigue

•

Being overweight

•

Relationship issues

After many people concluded that they are living in a sexless marriage, they often try to compensate for it by doing other things or nothing at all. Depending on the situation, many couples feel that when they’re not discussing sex,

Sex drive is one of the major factors that couples say makes them lose the urge to have sex. The lack of urge can come from a variety of situations. Here are some that couples can lead to a reduced sex drive:

CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 39

[ FASHION ]

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[ BUSINESS ]

their marriage works quite well. They get along, even have fun together. So why ruin the existing marriage dynamic by continually bringing up a point of disagreement and pain.

Some couples have an unspoken agreement to not address the issue. This option usually creates only more distance in the relationship.

“My wife and I stopped having sex several years ago on a regular basis. Now I only get sex on holidays and for my birthday. And oral sex is out of the question,” Rodney from Cleveland said.

“It’s gotten to the point where I’m so bitter that I’m completely checked out.

I don’t check on her, I don’t laugh at her jokes. I don’t even say ‘bless you’ when she sneezes. I have no desire to please her outside the bedroom because I’m not being taken care of in the bedroom,” Rodney explained.

The resentment that develops from a lack of intimacy only increases the longer couples go without sex. The thoughts of having an affair come into

play, but that isn’t a long-term, relationship fix.

Recently, a question was asked on a local radio show wondering what should be done if one’s spouse doesn’t want to have sex. Should the sexless spouse allow the other person to invite a third person into the marriage. The answers, while diverse, didn’t address the issue of why sex stopped in the first place.

One caller said that if she could choose the female, she’d be OK with allowing her husband to have sex with another woman. Many of the callers stated that inviting a third person into the relationship would be the beginning of the end for the marriage.

Some listeners thought the addition of an additional sex partner would spice up the marriage and potentially fix the problem.

The recommended solution by relationship experts is to invest in counselling to work on the problem. Rarely does a couple enter a relationship in order to avoid having sex, so working with a trained

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[ BUSINESS FASHION ]]

counselor can help uncover the issues surrounding intimacy and sex. Being honest about the needs of each partner in the relationship will give a couple a chance to develop a solution that will allow the marriage to thrive. ●

NEXT MONTH: PART II We’ll examine the specific negative effects a lack of sex can have on a marriage and what can be done to enliven intimacy and sexual vibrancy.

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