2024 MAN OF THE YEAR
For over 40 years, George Fraser has been the definition of networking. We celebrate his efforts by naming him Man of the Year for 2024.
TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN DECEMBER
INSIDE
CAN A.I. REPLACE LONELINESS?
It’s a lonely world out there for some. The question being asked now, “Is technology the answer to that loneliness?”
For over 40 years, George Fraser has been the definition of networking. We celebrate his efforts ON THE COVER by naming him Man of Year for 2024.
2024 MAN OF THE YEAR
14 MOVERS AND SHAKERS
Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!
17 MAN CODES
Quotes on life.
18 A DETERMINED VIEW
Michael Copeland hits a home run with his first book, The Journey of One Determined Educator, and wins the International Impact Book Awards.
20 CELEBRATE THE HOLLY JOLLY SEASON
Destination Cleveland encourages residents to explore and experience the joy of the season in Cleveland.
26 STRATEGIES FOR STAYING SANE, HEALTHY AND HAPPY
Beating the holiday blues starts with not allowing yourself to fall off the wagon. If you want to start 2025 off right, follow these easy steps to
create a routine that will get and keep you in shape.
32 SPIRITS, CIGARS, LUXURY CARS AND WATCHES
Welcome to CODE M Magazine’s men’s leisure and luxury section where we will explore and discuss exotic spirits and cigars, and luxury vehicles and watches. There will also be honorable mentions of fine restaurants, travel destinations, and executive or celebrity VIP events.
36 NEEDED: THE LOOKING-GLASS SELFTHEORY
The looking-glass self-theory is a sociological concept that explains how people develop their sense of self based
TRUSTING THE JOURNEY
One of the most mystifying, yet important, questions we ask in life is “Why am I here?” How do we find the answer?
on how they think others perceive them.
60 WHEN THE WIFE IS THE BREADWINNER
Men must learn to leave their ego at the door when they decide to stay home and support their breadwinning wives.
62 CROSSED EMOTIONS
The new TV series Cross attempts to thrill its audience with a multi-layered detective drama based on the old character Alex Cross, a novel series written by James Patterson.
66 READING FOR THE WIN
Jermel D. Carr helps those who desire a better life by teaching them how to focus and win in life.
76 ‘TIS THE SEASON TO GIVE THE GIFT OF FASHION
December is the month of giving. It’s also the month to celebrate winter fashions. Sweaters and scarves dominate this giving season.
PUBLISHER
Bilal S. Akram
PRESIDENT
Brad J. Bowling
SENIOR ADVISOR
Alexandria Johnson Boone
MANAGING EDITOR
David Christel
CHIEF OF STAFF
Anita G. Butler
PAGE EDITORS
LaRese Purnell-Chief Financial Editor
Laron Harlem-Fashion Editor
Paris Lampkins-Movers & Shakers Editor
Randall Sylvertooth-Tech Editor
Juan Toney-Health Editor
GRAPHIC DESIGN
Stiff Arm Media
MEDIA COORDINATOR
Carole Anthony
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
To the PUBLISHER
Ladonna “Lala” Dicks
ENGINEER RADIO/PODCAST
Imari Hill
SOCIAL MEDIA
Rachel Woods
IT CONSULTANT
Anthony Jones
Digital Jetstream, LLC
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
David Christel
Leslie Logan
Brad J. Bowling
Bilal S. Akram
Laron Harlem
Bolling Smith
Chris Matthews
India Gardener
Randall Sylvertooth
LaRese Purnell
Juan Toney
Sharif Akram
Darrell Scott
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SHAKERS
LARRY E. McCRIMAGER
Larry E. McCrimager is a native of Cleveland, Ohio and now resides in South Euclid, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland. Larry graduated from Bowling Green State University in 1976 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. In 2002 Larry graduated from the University of Phoenix with a Master of Business Administration degree with a concentration in ECommerce.
Larry is formally retired but continues to offer his services by serving on several boards, such as, the Alumni Board of Directors for Bowling Green State University, the Perry B. Jackson Housing Estates, a senior
Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!
by Paris Lampkins
citizens facility operated by Alpha Phi Alpha, and he serves as the President of the Cuyahoga County Black Alumni Association of Bowling Green State University.
Since graduating from Bowling Green, Larry continues to be actively involved with his fraternity Alpha Phi Alpha. In Alpha he has gone on to serve in the administration of the district (Executive Director & District Director), regional and national levels (Chaplain). He currently serves as the Chaplain for the Delta Alpha Lambda Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha.
MARCELLA BROWN
Marcella Brown is the Vice President of Development & Communications for Lutheran Metropolitan Ministry (LMM), and the Managing Partner of BrownStone, LLC, a public relations firm. Marcella is responsible for spearheading LMM's $16 million philanthropic program, public relations, crisis communications, and content platforms for one of Northeast Ohio's most critical social services providers. Her work at BrownStone includes strategic planning for fund development campaigns, special events, communications, and public-private partnerships.
Marcella is active in her community, serving as the Vice President of the Cleveland Museum of Contemporary Art Board, a member of the Black Professionals Association Charitable Foundation Board, Co-Chair of Marketing for the BankOn Cleveland Coalition, and a member of the We Raise Foundation Board.
JAH-RULE DAVIS
Jah-Rule Davis is a dynamic business professional pursuing an MBA at Case Western Reserve University. At the age of 24, with a BS in Business-Marketing from Norfolk State University, he has diverse experience in financial auditing, project analysis, and talent acquisition. Davis currently serves as a PCard Auditor at CWRU, managing a $20 million procurement program.
He is involved in various community initiatives, including Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity and the Weatherhead Consulting Club, showcasing his commitment to leadership and professional growth. Davis aims to leverage his skills in financial consulting.
KEVIN DIXON
Kevin Dixon, a distinguished leader in community engagement and corporate philanthropy, is renowned for driving impactful initiatives and fostering meaningful partnerships that uplift and transform communities. Kevin is an experienced financial professional with strategic coaching and multisite management expertise. With a robust background in human resources, business management, and financial planning, Kevin excels as a collaborative banking leader.
He possesses exceptional skills in talent identification, recruitment, and development and has a proven track record in team building. Kevin holds a bachelor's degree with a dual major in human resources and business management. Kevin's commitment to personal growth is evident as he completed his MBA this year. His comprehensive experience and educational background make him an asset in the financial sector, driving organizational success, and fostering high-performing teams.
MAN CODES: QUOTES ON LIFE
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward however they like.” - Lao Tzu.
“Throughout life, people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” - Will Smith
“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” -Sydney J. Harris
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” -Thomas Edison
“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.”
- Arthur Rubinstein
“The adventure of life is to learn. The purpose of life is to grow. The nature of life is to change. The challenge of life is to overcome. The essence of life is to care. The opportunity of life is to
Compiled by Bilal S. Akram
serve. The secret of life is to dare. The spice of life is to befriend. The beauty of life is to give.” - William Arthur Ward
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” - Pablo Picasso
“You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever.” - Jake Gyllenhaal
A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor – African Proverb Ephesians (5:15-16) 15 Be very careful, then, how you live— not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (NIV)
Will Smith
A DETERMINED VIEW
Dr. Michael Copeland hits a home run with his first book, The Journey of One Determined Educator, and wins the International Impact Book Awards.
In the tapestry of life, threads of adversity, resilience, and redemption weave a narrative that transcends the ordinary. As I embark on the journey of recounting the experiences and revelations that shaped my path, I invite you into the world of The Journey of One Determined Educator The protagonist of this tale, James Turner, emerges from
the shadows of a tumultuous adolescence to navigate the intricate realms of education. Born in the heart of Cleveland, Ohio, James grapples with challenges that threaten to eclipse his potential. As the youngest of three children, he battles academic mediocrity, personal demons, and a search for purpose that takes him to the brink of despair.
Surrounded by a supporting cast that includes the unwavering love of his parents, the success of his siblings, and the turbulence of a misguided youth, James embarks on a transformative odyssey. His journey, however, is not a solitary one. Alongside him are mentors like the indomitable Master Sergeant, whose wisdom guides James through the chaos of a summer camp that becomes a crucible of change.
In the tapestry, a myriad of characters enriches the narrative family members, mentors, colleagues, and the young souls whose lives intersect with James in profound ways. Each character contributes a unique hue to the canvas, forming a vibrant palette that paints the picture of an educator's evolution.
The supporting characters include James's family: his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Turner, whose belief in education becomes a cornerstone; siblings whose success casts shadows and illuminates’ paths; and the extended family that accompanies James on the exhilarating journey to Central State University, where the legacy of education takes root.
The Master Sergeant, a beacon of discipline and mentorship, becomes a pivotal figure in James's life during the chaotic first week of the summer camp. His guidance transcends the camp, leaving an indelible mark on James's approach to education.
As the journey unfolds, new characters grace the stage fellow educators, students, and advocates for change. Each plays a role in
CLE STRONG
the ever-evolving narrative of an educator's pursuit of resilience and impact. The protagonists and antagonists in this story are not merely individuals but embodiments of ideologies, systemic challenges, and societal norms that shape the landscape of education.
As you turn the pages of The Journey of One Determined Educator, envisage the characters not as figments of imagination but as echoes of real people navigating the complexities of an educational odyssey. Join James Turner and his ensemble as they confront adversity, celebrate triumphs, and strive to redefine the narrative of education. May this preface serve as an invitation into a world where the characters are not confined to pages but resonate in the collective journey of educators, students, and advocates who dare to dream of a brighter, more equitable future through the transformative power of education. The odyssey awaits, and the characters beckon you to witness the unfolding chronicle of resilience and education. ●
https://www.amazon.com/Journey-One-DeterminedEducator/dp/B0D3872FRM
Dr. Michael Copeland details the journey of working as an educator in his
CELEBRATE THE HOLLY JOLLY SEASON
Destination Cleveland encourages residents to explore and experience the joy of the season in Cleveland.
Tis the season of colder weather, jingle bells, bright lights, and cheer all around. As locals and their holiday visitors crack open a Christmas Ale and don their very merry best, they can make the most of the season with classic performances, tree lighting,s and holiday-centric activities sure to bring smiles, warmth, and a jolly good time.
MERRY AND BRIGHT STAGE LIGHTS
Cue the music, draw the curtains, and get ready for a new season of festive performances and the return of seasonal favorites.
The Black Nativity
Langston Hughes’s adaptation of a holiday staple is back this season as Karamu House presents “The Black Nativity” at Playhouse Square’s Allen Theatre. The show tells the story of the birth of Jesus through the creative lens of gospel, dance, poetry, and biblical narrative. Performed for the first time in 1961, the production has since been an annual celebration of culture and storytelling. Langston Hughes spent many years in Cleveland and was a familiar face at Karamu House, the oldest producing African American the-
ater in the United States.
Nov. 30 – Dec. 15; full schedule & tickets online
Playhouse Square’s Allen Theatre: 1407 Euclid Ave., Cleveland
A Christmas Story
A swarm of pink bunny suits won’t be an unusual sight at Cleveland Playhouse’s annual run of “A Christmas Story.” The holiday tradition at the Allen Theatre triple-dog dares theater-goers to take their best photo under the marquee lights and wash away worries with a bar of soap. Locals and visitors can also bask in the glow of a leg lamp when they visit the House from “A Christmas Story”, located in the Tremont neighborhood. Across the street, fans can find movie memorabilia at the museum and grab a gift for a loved one at the gift shop. Guests can even book a stay overnight in the house and in the neighboring Bumpus House.
Nov. 30 – Dec. 22; full schedule & tickets online
Playhouse Square’s Allen Theatre: 1407 Euclid Ave., Cleveland
House from A Christmas Story: 3159 W. 11 St., Cleveland; hours and tickets online
The
Hip Hop Nutcracker
A transformative production of the holiday favorite, “The Hip Hop Nutcracker” swaps ballet shoes for sneakers. Sure to get locals’ heads bopping, the production utilizes original “Nutcracker” melodies in mashups featuring a DJ, a violinist, and a talented cast of dancers. A one-night-only experience, the show in the Connor Palace uses innovative sights and sounds to transform 19thcentury Germany into contemporary New York.
Dec. 4 at 7 p.m.; details & tickets online
Playhouse Square’s Connor Palace: 1615 Euclid Ave., Cleveland
The Cleveland Orchestra Holiday Concerts
Spirits will be bright at Severance Hall for another season of holi-
day musical classics with The Cleveland Orchestra. Mandel Concert Hall will be fully decked out as the world-renowned orchestra is joined by the Cleveland Orchestra Chorus for the seasonal shows. Pictures with Santa, cookies & cocoa and a letter-writing station create a warm and jolly experience to enjoy with family and friends.
Dec. 11-22; schedule & tickets online
Severance Music Center: 11001 Euclid Ave., Cleveland
THE LAND OF ILLUMINATION
Cleveland never misses a chance to celebrate, and with the holidays arriving, there’s no time to rest. Residents can visit, view, and bask in the glow of millions of lights across The Land this season.
Winterland Tree Lighting Ceremony
The holiday season kicks off in a bright way at the annual
WinterLand Tree Lighting Ceremony in Public Square. Locals can gather for an evening full of jolly good offerings such as live entertainment, activities, food, ice skating and more. It all wraps up with a flip of the switch to light the Public Square tree, followed by a dazzling fireworks finale. A walk through the light display and a visit to the Cleveland Foundation Ice-Skating Rink keeps the cheerful vibes going all season long.
Nov. 30: 4-6:30 p.m., pre-show activations begin at 3 p.m.; details & schedule online
Ice Skating Rink: Nov. 29 – Jan. 20; hours & info online
Public Square, Cleveland
FROST
Freeze in time at “FROST” – an indoor and outdoor immersive experience at the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. Guests can look forward to brand new displays, new forest creatures, and an expanded outdoor light trail that leads into more areas, including the newly renovated Hershey Children’s Garden.
Nov. 23 – Jan. 5; schedule & tickets online
Cleveland Botanical Garden: 11030 E. Blvd., Cleveland.
Wild Winter Lights
Locals and other “filthy animals” can get lost in over 1.5 million lights at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo’s Wild Winter Lights. Attendees can explore a handful of themed areas like Candy Lane and Polar Pathway and visit Santa’s North Pole Lodge to meet the big man himself (and check in on his reindeer) for those special holiday wish list items. Interactive experiences such as a musical light show featuring a 50-foot tree and a ride around Waterfowl Lake on the railroad are sure to spread joy.
Nov. 12 – Dec. 13; schedule & tickets online
Cleveland Metroparks Zoo: 3900 Wildlife Way, Cleveland
Deck the Hall
The holiday spirit will surround visitors at “Deck the Hall” at Stan Hywet Hall & Gardens indoor and outdoors decorative estate tour. With 1.4 million holiday lights outdoors and festive décor adorning 20 rooms inside the Manor House, it’s sure to make even the biggest Grinch’s heart grow a size or two. Guests can also get a start on their holiday shopping at the gift shop or grab a warm gingerbread cookie and hot co-
coa at Molly’s Courtyard Café.
Nov. 29 – Dec 30; schedule & tickets online
Stan Hywet Hall & Gardens: 714 N. Portage Path, Akron
More must-see lighting ceremonies
Nobody does holiday grand gestures like The Land, and there’s plenty of festive fun to go around. On Nov. 23, west siders can enjoy Crocker Park’s Annual Tree Lighting and block party while east siders gather at Wade Oval for Illuminate the Circle – a tree lighting and light show. Residents can keep the joy alive on Dec. 7 for Light Up Lakewood’s 18th annual celebration featuring a parade, winter fireworks, tree lighting ceremony, festive eats and brews, and much more holiday cheer.
THE WHOLE (HOLIDAY) PACKAGE
Experience winter holidays in The Land with family-friendly activities, meet-and-greets with the Christmas MVP and more.
Kringle’s Inventionasium Experience
Kids can see what it takes to become one of Santa Claus’s elves at Kringle’s Inventionasium Experience. In this fully interactive ex-
perience, merry-makers are accompanied through Mr. Kringle’s Toy Lab by his helpers as they present ideas, search for clues, assist in experiments review, and of course, discuss their inventions and holiday wishes with Mr. Kringle himself.
Nov. 23 – Dec. 24; schedule & tickets online
Tower City Center: 230 W. Huron Road, Suite 7286, Cleveland
Scuba Claus Merry Meet & Greets
Dive into a unique aquatic experience this holiday season at the Greater Cleveland Aquarium as Cleveland’s own SCUBA Claus takes the plunge into the 230,000-gallon shark habitat. Meet and greets with the jolly red man and his dive buddy elves include full aquarium access, a winterthemed activity sheet, a candy cane, and a commemorative digital photo of the memorable experience.
Dec. 14-22 (Saturdays and Sundays); schedule & tickets online
Greater Cleveland Aquarium: 2000 Sycamore St., Cleveland Family Holiday Celebration
It’s a Taylor Swift-mas celebration at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame for music lovers and Swifties. The day will offer entertainment for the whole family including friendship bracelet trading, Taylor Swift artifacts, trivia, and more. The festivities conclude with The Ohio City Singers Holiday Party, featuring a high-energy concert of holiday melodies.
Dec. 14 from 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.; Taylor Swift-mas & The Ohio City Singers details online
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame: 1100 Rock & Roll Blvd., Cleveland Winter Bucket List Passport
Snow or shine, locals and visitors can explore all the cold and cozy offerings that keep The Land cool thanks to Destination Cleveland’s Winter Bucket List Passport. The passport offers 15 different stops to keep the festive feeling flowing all season long, from holiday specialties like the Little Italy Holiday Art Walk to seasonal favorites including tobogganing at the Cleveland Metroparks Chalet. Each check-in earns users points that can be traded in for prizes to celebrate their love of #TheLand year-round. ●
Cleveland has some amazing attractions this winter.
HEALTH
SMART STRATEGIES STAYING SANE, HEALTHY
Beating the holiday blues starts with not allowing yourself to fall off the wagon. If you want to start 2025 off right, follows these easy steps to creating a routine that will get and keep you in shape.
STRATEGIES FOR HEALTHY AND HAPPY
Written by JUAN TONEY
As the holiday season approaches, so do a myriad of stressors from overindulgence in food and drink to financial pressures and strained relationships. This time of year often brings heightened expectations, which can, paradoxically, lead to feelings of sadness and disappointment for many. With the season’s abundance of festivities, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or even fall into the “holiday blues.” But with a little strategy, the holidays can be a season of joy rather than stress. Here’s a guide to managing expectations, setting boundaries, and prioritizing health during the holidays, so you can celebrate without losing balance.
1. Embrace Realism: Be Kind to Yourself
Understanding and accepting your current life circumstances can be the first line of defense against holiday stress. Many people struggle with time constraints, financial pressures, and a schedule full of social gatherings, while others may feel isolated and miss family. Rather than denying these realities, recognize and accept them. Realism is an antidote to unnecessary stress.
Beating the holiday blues means setting realistic expectations for yourself and others. Some years may look different from past holidays, and that’s okay. Managing expectations also means being kind to yourself if things don't go as planned. It’s important to seek support, laugh at minor setbacks, and accept life’s occasional chaos. The act of letting go of perfection can be liberating, helping you stay grounded and find moments of calm amid the holiday rush.
2. Create New Traditions
As families grow and evolve, traditions can, too. Holiday traditions should reflect the personalities, needs, and values of the people involved. Rather than feeling bound to old practices, try creating rituals that fit your current lifestyle. For example, a busy working professional may not have time to recreate an elaborate holiday feast, but can still create a special meal that brings family or friends together. Similarly, those who find themselves single or far from family can invite friends to celebrate, expanding the definition of “family” to include nearby loved ones.
For divorced families, creating harmony during the holiday season is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. Putting aside personal differences in the spirit of the holidays can make the season memorable for everyone involved. New traditions can be as simple as an evening of board games, baking holiday treats with children, or volun-
Juan Toney owns his own fitness studio and offers classes to those who would like to work out. He is CODE M’s fitness editor and can be reached at: www.fit4everu.com
teering together. They are the foundation of memories that reflect the holiday spirit of joy, love, and community.
3. Help Others to Beat the Blues
One of the most powerful ways to overcome seasonal sadness is by focusing on others who may need support. The act of helping not only aids others but provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Studies show that helping others can boost mood, reduce stress, and combat loneliness. When the holiday season feels overwhelming, it’s easy to become focused on our own challenges and stressors. Giving, though, can provide a valuable perspective and renewed appreciation for what we have.
Look for opportunities to volunteer at shelters, soup kitchens, or community events. Donating time or resources to causes that you personally resonate with can help shift the focus from holiday stress to holiday joy. Engaging in acts of service reminds us of the holiday’s true meaning and connects us to others in meaningful ways.
4. Seek a Sacred Space
In the rush of holiday errands, finding a quiet moment in a sacred space can bring unexpected peace. Regardless of religious affiliation, many find solace in stepping into a quiet church, mosque, synagogue, temple, or other place of worship. Sacred spaces often provide an atmosphere of reflection, offering a reprieve from holiday pressures.
Many places of worship keep their doors open and are welcoming to those seeking a moment of tranquility or spiritual grounding. Taking a few minutes to sit quietly, absorb the calm atmosphere, and reflect on the positive can be rejuvenating. It offers a reminder of the season’s deeper meanings peace, compassion, and love.
5. Prioritize Your Health: Care for Your Body
Holidays can be a minefield of temptations when it comes to food and drink. While it’s normal to indulge, maintaining a balanced approach to diet, exercise, and sleep can dramatically impact mental and physical well-being. Instead of setting New Year's resolutions to start a fitness program or cut down on sugar, why not start now? Small, mindful choices can help maintain a steady routine that minimizes post-holiday regrets.
Eat Well and Hydrate
Holiday gatherings often feature high-calorie foods laden with sugar and unhealthy fats, and it can be challenging to avoid
Working out during the winter can lead to excellent results just in time for the summer.
these temptations. Start by focusing on balance. Aim to fill half of your plate with vegetables, choose lean protein options, and be mindful of portion sizes. Staying hydrated is essential as well, especially during colder months when dehydration can be more subtle. Drinking water throughout the day not only supports overall health but also helps regulate appetite and prevent overeating.
Exercise Regularly
Exercise isn’t just for the New Year; it’s a powerful tool for managing holiday stress and enhancing mood. Even short, brisk walks can help clear your mind, release endorphins, and reduce anxiety. Regular exercise helps reduce symptoms of the blues and improves physical energy levels. If gym commitments feel overwhelming, remember that exercise can take many forms, from dancing in the living room to winter sports like ice skating or skiing.
Prioritize Sleep
The holidays often mean later nights, but sleep is critical to maintaining mental health. Sleep deprivation is linked to mood fluctuations and heightened stress, which can compound feelings of holiday overwhelm. Set aside time for rest and relaxation, and create a sleep-friendly environment by limiting caffeine intake in the evening, powering down electronics before bed, and setting a
consistent bedtime. Even a brief nap can help re-energize and reset, improving your ability to manage stress.
6. Manage Financial Stress
One of the top sources of holiday blues comes from financial stress, as the desire to show love through gift-giving can lead to overspending. Setting a budget before holiday shopping and finding creative ways to express appreciation can help reduce financial strain. Thoughtful, handmade gifts or experiences like a shared meal or activity can be just as meaningful, if not more so, than costly purchases.
Avoiding last-minute shopping can also ease stress, as it allows for thoughtful, budget-friendly gift choices. Another way to manage financial pressure is by setting limits with family and friends; consider a holiday gift exchange where each person buys for only one other. Thoughtful planning will ensure that giving feels enjoyable rather than burdensome.
7. Create a “Holiday Stress-Free Zone”
Designate a time or space for holiday relaxation. Creating a stress-free zone whether it’s a quiet corner in your home, a cozy chair with your favorite book, or a weekend getaway can help alleviate holiday pressures. Personal timeouts, when combined with the above strategies, allow you to regain bal-
ance and enjoy the season with renewed energy and focus. Try meditative activities like journaling or listening to calming music during these moments to reset your mind and body.
8. Establish Boundaries with Family and Friends
Family gatherings can be challenging, especially with differing opinions, beliefs, and expectations. Set boundaries that protect your emotional well-being. Politely decline invitations if you feel overwhelmed, or limit the time spent in potentially stressful situations. Practicing assertive communication while respecting others’ perspectives can keep the peace. Remember that it's okay to prioritize self-care over people-pleasing.
Boundaries also extend to digital spaces holiday updates on social media can lead to comparison traps that worsen holiday blues. Take breaks from scrolling and focus on the people and experiences around you to stay grounded and avoid unnecessary stress.
9. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Not all holiday blues can be cured by positive thinking, and it’s essential to honor emotions as they arise. If the holidays bring up feelings of loss, loneliness, or disappointment, acknowledge these emotions instead of suppressing them. Processing difficult emotions allows for healing and acceptance. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals if you need support.
10. Focus on What You Can Control
The holiday season can feel chaotic, with many elements outside of our control. While it's tempting to try to manage every detail, focusing on what you can control helps maintain peace of mind. Prioritize what matters most to you whether it's time spent with loved ones, spiritual practices, or maintaining healthy routines. Simplify plans and find joy in the small, meaningful moments, letting go of perfectionism.
Finding the Balance This Holiday Season
The holidays bring joy, but they also bring stress, expectations, and potential challenges. By embracing a realistic approach, creating new traditions, focusing on health, setting boundaries, and practicing gratitude, it’s possible to celebrate the season fully while beating the holiday blues.
Instead of waiting to make post-holiday resolutions, take charge now with small, purposeful actions that make this time of year more fulfilling and enjoyable. This year, let balance, mindfulness, and self-care guide you through the holiday season. ●
LIFESTYLES
ASPIRITS, CIGARS, LUXURY VEHICLES AND WATCHES
Welcome to CODE M Magazine’s men’s leisure and luxury section where we will explore and discuss exotic spirits and cigars, and luxury vehicles and watches. There will also be honorable mentions of fine restaurants, travel destinations, and executive or celebrity VIP events.
Written by Dr. Randall Sylvertooth
Dr. Randall Sylvertooth, is a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated was raised in Cleveland, Ohio and is an alumnus of The University of Cincinnati, University of Virginia, George Mason University and Capital Technology University.
s we mature with wealth, we also want to enjoy that wealth. In this month’s issue, we’ll explore a remarkably interesting Spirit. The maker of this spirit is Dewars. Dewars has created a scotch and whisky blend that’s been aged for twelve years. You should be able to find it at your local liquor and spirits retail store.
Dewar’s 12-year-old is a double-aged, blended scotch whisky that can be widely enjoyed by yourself or with plenty of friends. The scotch liquor has a rich smooth taste with notes of dried fruit, citrus, and vanilla. The whisky won double gold at the San Francisco World Spirits Competition. Code M, as a taste tester, tried and experienced this blended scotch whisky where we were able to appreciate its complex rich flavors.
Dewars ensured that the extra years spent in an old cask barrel
would be worth the taste that we experienced. It is a sweet, mild, and smooth whisky blend that can be paired with a mild cigar or with delectable foods such as Gouda cheese, mixed nuts, exotic breads, and some dessert varieties such as bread pudding and cheesecake.
Dewar’s 12-year-old Blended Scotch whisky comes in two complex flavor variations: Original Highball or Aromatic Highball. The Aromatic Highball complexity of flavors have been described to be rich, refreshingly sweet, and herbaceous as a new edition to Dewars scotch and whisky blend. We were able to taste the original highball flavor described above.
The scotch and whisky maker Dewar started as a small shop in 1846 in Perth by John Dewar and his sons, John Alexander and Tommy. His sons all worked the counter of the small shop. Their whisky became award winning in a noticeably brief time. Today, Dewar Whisky’s master blender is cherished and managed by Stephanie Macleod. ●
THE LOOKING-GLASS SELF THEORY
The looking-glass self-theory is a sociological concept that explains how people develop their sense of self based on how they think others perceive them.
Written by BRAD BOWLING
Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.
People’s mental health has never been more fragile than it is right now. It seems like the pandemic left behind more than inflation. People live in a time where the more connected they are to their device, the less human interaction they have.
The term “looking-glass self-theory” was coined by American sociologist Charles Horton Cooley in 1902 and is described as a process that involves:
• Imagining how you appear to others
• Imagining how others judge your appearance
• Developing feelings about and responding to those perceived judgments.
The theory suggests that self-concept is built in social settings, rather than in solitude. It is called the looking-glass self because a person's identity is perceived as a reflection of other people's perceptions, much like a mirror.
The looking-glass self-theory can affect self-esteem in either a negative or positive way. For example, a person's self-esteem may increase if they continuously believe others perceive them in a positive manner.
This has become a problem in modern society because there is so much false information on the internet. The false information, coupled with a lack of human contact, can affect anyone who is vulnerable to public perception as they might develop a negative attitude towards themselves.
The looking-glass self-theory can hugely impact children. Children develop a perception of self through interactions with other people. Children often will take the feedback they get from others to develop their own concept of self. This fragile stage in development has typically been protected the positive reinforcement of the parents.
However, with children gaining access to social media earlier and earlier in life, they are susceptible to developing negative feelings about themselves before they’re able to differentiate between their sense of self and others’ possible perceptions of them.
Experts warn that social media can keep kids from their studies, disrupt their sleep, sour their mood, and erode self-esteem. Recent research shows that adolescents who use social media for more than three hours per day face double the risk of depression and anxiety symptoms.
“As we see our face, figure, and dress in the glass and are interested in them because they’re ours … so in imagination, we perceive in another’s mind some thought of our appearance, manner, aims, deeds, character, friends, and so on, and are variously affected by it,” (1902; McIntyre, 1998).
According to Cooley (1902), the human mind is social and mental. This means that the mental processes occurring in the human mind are the direct result of social interaction.
But what if there is no social interaction? Today, people isolate themselves more than ever before. The internet has allowed society to have as little connection as possible, if so desired.
Remote work, meal delivery, internet banking, and video conferencing have created the ability for people to never interact on an intimate level. With isolation comes a rabbit hole of self-perception.
“I have a cousin who used to come to events. They used to return phone calls,” John from Dayton said. “But I have noticed that she has stopped almost all interactions with us and its concerning because she used to be way more outgoing.”
Dr. George Fraser, considered the be one of the originators of social networking, warns of the problem with selfisolation. “You’ll find that the average human talks to themselves way more than they ever will to other people,” Fraser said. “What we say to ourselves has the potential to be more harmful if we have a negative perception of ourselves. We must learn to be way more kind to ourselves today.”
Fraser teaches the art of networking to build business relationships, but he also adds that it also creates meaningful relationships with others.
Self value comes from positive self thoughts.
Those human interactions help build and stimulate mental health, as well as creating the kinds of social interactions needed for people to maintain a positive self-image.
When Cooley developed the looking-glass self-theory, he could not have imagined the concept that human interaction would be at an all-time low. And it’s not just interaction. Physical contact has also taken a hit.
TOUCH STARVATION
So, what does human physical contact have to do with looking-glass self-theory? Human physical contact contributes to how humans rationalize self-worth and coping skills. Lack of human touch can be detrimental to character development.
Touch starvation can happen anytime a person doesn’t get enough physical contact. It’s often seen in children in orphanages and older adults in hospitals.
Humans bond through physical touch. Skin is the largest organ in the human body and sends good and bad touch sensations to the brain. When we engage in pleasant touch, like a hug, our brain releases a hormone called oxytocin. This makes us feel good and firms up emotional and social bonds while lowering anxiety and fear.
When we don’t receive enough physical touch, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as potential physiological changes like increased cortisol levels due to the body's stress response. This can often negatively impact a person’s overall well-being and optimal immune system functioning. Lack of touch coupled with a poor perception of self, often leads to suicide.
Some of the warning signs of touch starvation are:
• feelings of loneliness and depression,
• decreased life satisfaction,
• fatigue,
• problems sleeping,
• stress, and • anxiety.
This is especially problematic for those who suffer from attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Sensory overload is a feeling of anxiety that occurs when we experience too much sensory input. It’s a common feature of ADHD. Sensory processing disorder (SPD) can make it difficult for a person to function if they become overwhelmed by senses including touch or hearing.
And because so many people have been diagnosed with these disorders, the problem of lack of self-worth is quite common in society today. For those who choose to selfisolate, the problems only become worse over time.
Experts suggest that if you or someone you know struggles with poor self-esteem or have reduced their interaction with society that you check on them often and try to find ways to increase their exposure to human interaction and contact.
Other ways to increase touch are:
• Ask a friend to hold hands while you spend time together or go for a walk.
• Get a scrub at a Korean spa.
• Go to a Cuddle Party.
• Book a session with a professional cuddler.
• Lie under a weighted blanket or futon mattress.
• Set up a massage trade with a friend.
The looking-glass self-theory was intended to help make people aware of how they perceive themselves. Cooley understood the importance of knowing how humans process self-worth. Today, with the extra factors of the internet and self-isolation, it makes it even more important that humans practice self-love and maintain positive relationships, whether mental or physical.
A global wish is that the world becomes a nicer place to live in 2025. That wish starts in the mirror and how humans speak to and perceive themselves. ●
The most powerful messages
2024 MAN OF THE YEAR
For over 40, years George Fraser has been the definition of networking. We celebrate his efforts by naming him Man of the Year for 2024.
Written by BRAD BOWLING
Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass
There are moments in time when everyone gets to experience something incredible. They can feel something different in the moment, but they cannot quite put their finger on it. It is usually where the fork comes in the road. They know that the moment they just had will change their life forever, depending on what path they choose to follow. The same thing happens after meeting Dr. George Fraser. If you spend a few minutes with him, you will certainly receive a couple of golden nuggets. Golden nuggets on business, golden nuggets on life, and golden nuggets on consistency. But you come away with
ing people over sixty clean their homes. His business exploded. From that Fraser started a business washing and waxing cars for people over sixty. He had more cars to wash than he could ever handle.
He then grew that into a landscaping business to help the same clients. The secret to his success really came from building relationships.
“I didn’t know about the term networking in the 50s and 60s, I just knew that I liked talking to people and it helped me get customers,” Fraser said.
“The fact that he has remained relevant for this long a period speaks volumes to his ability to show up, it speaks volumes in his superior decision-making skills, and it speaks volumes to his physical fitness to be able to glow at 80.
after speaking to Fraser is the feeling of meeting the master at work. Fraser is considered the pioneer of networking. His over 50-year career in traveling the world, teaching businesspeople the art of expanding the brand is unparalleled. His gift, although he has many gifts, is the ability to tell people exactly what they need to hear when they need to hear it.
If you have seen the movie The Matrix, Fraser is a real-life Oracle. And everyone he talks to, all of them are Neo’s waiting for him to help them figure out their future.
Fraser had a knack for developing bonds from an early age.
“My sister told me that ever since I was 11 years old, I used friendship as a guide to run my businesses,” Fraser said.
Fraser started his first company at 11-years-old cleaning houses for the elderly around his neighborhood in Queens, NY where he grew up as an orphan then foster child for 16 years. He has always had the mindset to own instead of work. But he used his connections to grow his brand.
Born in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn, NY to a family of eleven siblings, Fraser had his very own workforce whenever he needed it.
“With eight boys and three girls, I had a whole force of siblings that I could employ.” Fraser continued, “I knew some of the older people in my neighborhood and saw an opportunity to help them out and make some money at the same time.” He called that “Doing Well while doing Good!
And he did. The word got out that a young man was doing well help-
He started to read books about networking, and it sparked him to really study the idea of networking to help people
Dr. Fraser and Les Brown partnered to write, Mission Unstoppable, Extraordinary Stories of Failure’s Blessings.
grow their businesses. His study of the category helped him decide to launch Frasernet Inc., his first consulting business on networking.
But while he worked on his own business Fraser spent seventeen years in management with Procter & Gamble, the United Way, and the Ford Motor Company. He wrote his first book, bestseller Success Runs in Our Race: The Complete Guide to Effective Networking in the African Community, in 1994 and made the cover of Black Enterprise Magazine as its first book excerpt. His second book, Race for Success: The Ten Best Business Opportunities for Blacks in America, was selected as one of the ten best business books of 1999 by Booklist magazine. He is also the creator and publisher of the award-winning “SuccessGuide: The Networking Guide to Black Resources.” Twenty versions of SuccessGuide have been published and a worldwide edition was released in August 2000.
The popularity of “SuccessGuide” took him around the world speaking and teaching the rules of networking. Fraser teaches more than networking, he teaches everyone how to gain access to the rooms that they need to be in, to get the results that they desire.
“I was able to get a job at Procter & Gamble because I was a great and well-rounded conversationalist and I knew someone: the owner, Earl Graves,” Fraser said. Fraser credits knowing the right people, and having good relationships will always be the best asset a businessperson can have.
But Fraser takes his teachings a step further. He explains the key rules when engaging in networking.
“One of the best parts of what I do for a living is, I get to help people. The more you can help others, the more you will get in return. One of the biggest keys to successfully networking is to add value, be a kind, spirited and inspiring person for your fellow man.” Fraser continued, “If you can be something special for someone, special things come back to you.” Fraser’s life has been special indeed. Today He is still sought
Top: Dr. Fraser with Jimmy Kimmel. Fraser with Magic Johnson.
Bottom: Fraser with Les Brown and a member of team.
around the world to come and share his teachings. One step into his office and you will see the fruits of his labor. One wall has the many magazine covers that he has been on. The next wall rests the dozens of keys to the city and an office wall full of plaques from all over the world that have been given to him.
On the other walls rest the thousands of books that she had read to keep him mentally sharp and keen to what the latest trends are. As you walk around the office you begin to understand just how impressive Fraser’s career has been.
Fraser has received over 350 awards and citations for his community service, including the United Negro College Fund National Volunteer of the Year Award and an Architects of the Village Award from Allstate Insurance. He is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. In 1986, as director of marketing and communications for the United Way of Cleveland, he conceived, planned, and led the release of 1.4 million balloons, the largest single balloon release in history.
The publication Vital Speeches of the Day has selected five of Fraser’s speeches to be reprinted and distributed worldwide, a first for any professional speaker in America. He has been featured in many newspaper and magazine articles including Ebony, Black Enterprise, and Upscale magazines.
Everyone has a superpower. Something that sets them apart from everyone else. When you meet Fraser, you quickly learn that his superpower is consistency and resilience. Fraser has consistency, resilience, and persistence to run a successful business for over 40 years.
Fraser’s favorite quote is “Ambition is the road to success, Consistency, Resilience and Persistency, is the vehicle you arrive in”
He has never missed a speech when asked to attend. He has never had a need to take a break. Dr. Fraser told me
Top: Fraser and Daymond John. Middle: Fraser and Secretary Colin Powell.
Bottom: Fraser and Robert Smith.
the secret to long-term success is to “Do what you love with people that you love!”
The fact that he has remained relevant for this long a period speaks volumes to his ability to learn, grow, and show up, it speaks volumes in his superior decision-making skills, and it speaks volumes to his physical fitness to be able to grow at 80.
That is right 80! Fraser still travels the country on a consistent basis, navigating airports and hotels at least four times a month at the demands of the people who need to hear his thoughts on the many subjects that impact Blacks, businesspeople, and the changes in the marketplace. Most would say that Fraser is drinking from the fountain of youth, he gives credit to something else.
“People always marvel at my age when I tell them I am eighty. But I have been able to stay as healthy as I am due to several things: 1. I love what I do, so I am never working. 2. I have been blessed to stay married to the same woman for 51 years, who loves me like no other. 3. I take the same fourteen supplements every day to help my body with my business schedule. And 4. I treat everyone like I would like to be treated,” Fraser said.
When Fraser is not working, he likes to spend time with his wife, Nora Jean (née Spencer), who is the parents of two sons. He credits her for keeping him well-fed, supported, inspired, and happy.
“I have no plans to retire anytime soon, there is much work to be done,” Fraser said.
And no one is asking him to. Everyone needs the Oracle sitting on that bench waiting to tell them what kind of future they are going to have. Fraser cannot help you with your future. Your job, if you are lucky enough to be able to spend a few minutes speaking to him, is not to know your future, but to be well-prepared and pleasantly surprised.
You have already made the decision about what you are going to do next. Your job, after you speak to him, is to try to understand why you made the decision and know what’s next.
CODE M salutes Dr. George Fraser for his incredible success, his longevity to remain relevant to businesspeople all over the world, and his precious efforts to make the world a better place. Dr. George Fraser is the 2024 Man of the Year. ●
Top: Fraser and Dr. Julianne Malveaux.
Middle: Fraser and Lou Stokes and Johny Cochran.
Bottom: Fraser and Tiffany Hadish.
Top left: Fraser and Congressman Steny Hoyer. Top right: Fraser and President Obama. Middle: Fraser himself. Bottom: Fraser and Dr. Julius Garvey, son of Marcus Garvey.
POLITICS
TRUSTING THE JOURNEY
One of the most mystifying, yet important, questions we ask in life is “Why am I here?” How do we find the answer?
Written by DAVID CHRISTEL
David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.
“Ibelieve that God orders our steps, and I believe He puts us in positions to prepare us for whatever our next step may be. I believe that we all have been ordained, even before we entered into our mother’s womb, to do certain things with our time here on Earth. We get to decide, with God’s guidance and help if we accept it what that actually looks like. At the end of the journey, we want our deposits to outweigh our withdrawals.”
And this perspective has served Antjuan Seawright very well in his life and career. He is the founder and CEO of Blueprint Strategy LLC, a public relations, advertising, and political consulting firm based in South Carolina. Serving as Senior Advisor to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and the Democratic National Committee, he has been deeply involved in extensive grassroots and strategic efforts for political clients at the local, state, and national level.
For a 39-year-old, his life has seemingly been on a political fast track. Beginning in fifth grade, he has found that his focus has been “strategically charted by God”: to help other people, to be a voice for
those who didn’t know they needed a voice in certain arenas. That emphasis is derived from his family’s enduring commitment to being selfless in all things.
“The family unit is where I am rooted and what I’m foundationally built upon. That’s why it’s been my life’s journey, up to this point in my life, to do everything I can to ensure that this country and the Black community are a little cleaner,and greener, and her people are better than I found it.”
losses, and not always made the best life choices. Through it all, he’s bounced back knowing that everything has something to offer in his learning process. “I haven’t always gotten it right. I’ll probably look back at some point in my life and regret having done a number of things, but I’ve tried my best to be consistent and authentic.”
But regret isn’t really a part of Antjuan’s vocabulary. “I never really look back with regrets. Instead, I look back through
“We’re missing that steady voice or voices that are our social GPS guide for our community, and that’s where the next generation of leaders has to step up.”
Antjuan’s family instilled in him a strong sense of responsibility and discipline. His great-grandparents were sharecroppers in rural South Carolina. Both his grandmothers lost their husbands at a very young age and neither married again. They always took care of their families, provided for their children, and prayed and worked to ensure that their children and following generations had better opportunities than they did.
Antjuan has taken this to heart as witnessed by his active social involvement with the Black community and his serving on the board of directors for a number of organizations. He has also advised campaigns for governors, the US Senate and Congress, state legislatures, and various ballot races. He’s also advised numerous campaigns, state democratic parties, and political projects. He does all this along with managing corporate, non-profit, governmental, and sports marketing clients through his company.
It all began in fifth grade when he ran for student council vice president and unexpectedly won. Antjuan realized how important it is to be at the decision-making table, which gives a person the ability to positively influence and impact people’s lives. “It’s always been in my family’s history that we’re supposed to step up to the plate and advocate for those who need advocacy.”
Antjuan has found that his life’s work and journey and his family’s history have helped him to become a voice for his community, to create a place where people can gather and glean from their shared experiences to make life better. “My family has always tried to be a blessing to other people despite circumstances.”
For all his upbringing and accomplishments, though, Antjuan has had his fair share of mistakes and pitfalls, has experienced various
a lens, thanks to my great grandparents who used to pray a prayer of ‘We thank God for protection from danger, seen and unseen.’ There are so many things that I could have gotten involved in that would have taken me totally off this path I’m on. But with my steps being ordained, I haven’t.”
Antjuan fully realizes and understands that every decision he’s made to date has been preparatory ground for his being where he is today, what he’s doing now. It’s also preparation for all that’s yet to come in his life. As he says, “The most incredible thing is that none of us know what tomorrow is going to hold, but we know Who holds tomorrow.”
Antjuan Seawright with his Kappa brothers volunteering.
And that faith has guided him unfailingly in his career.
Something else that’s a part of Antjuan’s character is that he never worries. Black American history has always been one of resilience, a refusal to die no matter what the circumstances. Concern for our country and its welfare and the direction of the Black community is foremost in his mind and that people be truly focused on upholding our Constitution.
“As I’ve traveled the country for Black Americans, it’s understanding that we’re casting a survival vote in every single election. Whoever has policy-making power after this current national election will have a large say as to whether or not communities that look like mine live or die not thrive or survive, but live or die. That’s why it’s so important to grasp that these elections have become generational. It’s also imperative that we return to education particularly K through 12 as an investment, not an expense.”
Antjuan strongly believes that “free people read freely,” an adage that has huge implications for whether our country progresses or regresses. “We cannot allow those who have an agenda to whitewash history and focus their attention on banning books instead of bullets. We cannot allow those who be-
lieve that slavery is a job training program that generationally benefited Black people to be the standard for how children learn in this country.”
Factually, relating the holistic story of Black history, the journey of Black America and Black people in American history there would be no American history without Black history. Antjuan wants to ensure that our schools have what they need so that our children can compete in a 21st-century way in an everchanging global society. He feels that classrooms have to be reflective of today’s students, which entails learning how to educate differently because every student learns differently. But we also have to push parents and incorporate our challenges within the Black community as a whole, not just the students, to make sure we’re looking at our community as a unit, a family unit, that will determine how well our children learn.
In tandem with that is the development of leaders within Black communities. “In every village, in every community, it takes a leader. Somebody has to lead, and I think that’s what we’re missing. We’re missing that steady voice or voices that are our social GPS guide for our community, and that’s where the next generation of leaders has to step up. We not only have an opportunity, we have an obligation to step up and lead the way and provide guidance and direction based on our own experiences. We need to learn from the experiences of our elders.”
And that is a cohesive family approach to community. In today’s world, that’s quite a challenge as there are so many distractions. Antjuan puts it “we need to prioritize the priority, focus on the focus.” He feels that we don’t do a good enough job of that. “We need to learn how to hunker down and be disciplined around what’s important. We know that in this country old battles become new ones. Part of that is not knowing our own history, or as some people are attempting to do, whitewash or obliterate it.”
Importantly, what this all comes down to is knowing that we each matter, that we each have value, and we’re each important. “We all play a role. That’s why somewhere, somehow, someone else is depending on all of us to do what we’ve been called by God to do. It’s not the date you were born, it’s not the date you die. It’s all about the journey. Trust the journey and let your deposits outweigh your withdrawals.”
Antjuan Seawright with members of Congress and the Senate.
OPINION
WHEN THE WIFE IS THE BREADWINNER
Men must learn to leave their ego at the door when they decide to stay home and support their breadwinning wives.
In a world where traditional gender roles are being challenged, it’s becoming increasingly common for women to be the primary earners in their households. And let me tell you, dear reader, I am proud to be married to one such successful woman. However, like any man who grew up on a steady diet of outdated sitcoms and questionable advice from his grandfather, I must admit that the concept of my wife being the breadwinner initially shook the very foundation of my fragile male ego.
Picture this: I come home after a long day of work, feeling like the quintessential provider, ready to bask in the glory of my accomplishments. But there she is, my wife, sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop open, signing deals and making more money than I could ever dream of. It was like a surreal episode of The Twilight Zone, where Rod Serling himself pops out from behind the curtains to mock my fragile masculinity. But as they say, necessity is the mother of adaptation. And so, my ego decided to take a long overdue vacation. It checked into a quaint little ego retreat, where it sipped piña coladas on a metaphorical beach, allowing me to embrace the realities of the modern world.
First and foremost, being married to a breadwinning wife is a blessing in disguise. Gone are the days when I had to shoulder the weight of financial responsibility alone. With my wife’s impressive paycheck, we’ve upgraded our dinners from twominute noodles to fancy artisanal cuisine. Our trips to the grocery store are no longer fueled by a calculator and coupon cutting; we now stroll through the aisles, tossing delicacies into our cart like lottery winners. It’s a gastronomic paradise! And let’s not forget about the unexpected perks of having a
A COLUMN WRITTEN BY CHATGPT
Written by CY BORG
wife who brings home the bacon (and sizzles it in a high-end skillet). Have you ever had a personal chauffeur? Well, I have. Thanks to my wife’s successful career, we now have a designated driver who whisks me away to my social engagements with the grace of a chauffeur in a classic movie. I sit in the backseat, feeling like the protagonist of my very own rom-com, shouting out directions with a newfound sense of entitlement.
Of course, with great financial power comes great responsibility. My wife has a busy schedule, attending important meetings and networking events, leaving me with the thrilling task of managing the household. Armed with a feather duster and an apron (don’t judge me, it’s a fashionable apron), I embrace my new role as the domestic god. I’ve learned the art of culinary alchemy, turning leftovers into masterpieces and pretending to know my way around a washing machine. Who knew sorting laundry could be such a Zen experience?
Perhaps the most profound lesson I’ve learned in this journey is the importance of letting go of societal expectations. As a team, my wife and I have defied stereotypes, challenging the norms of gender roles and creating our unique dynamic. And let me tell you, our relationship has flourished as a result. We support each other’s dreams and ambitions, and that, my friends, is the key to a happy and successful partnership.
So, to all my fellow men out there struggling with the idea of a breadwinning wife, I implore you to let go of your ego’s stranglehold. Embrace the shifting tides of equality and cheer on your partner as they conquer the world, one paycheck at a time. Trust me, it’s a wild ride, and you just might find yourself on a beach, sipping piña coladas, while your ego soaks up the sun. ●
CROSSED EMOTIONS
The new TV series Cross attempts to thrill its audience with a multi-layered detective drama based on the old character Alex Cross, a novel series written by James Patterson.
BY BOLLING SMITH
Cross is an American crime thriller television series created by Ben Watkins, based on the James Patterson novels. It stars Aldis Hodge, Isaiah Mustafa, and Juanita Jennings, and it premiered on Amazon Prime Video on November 14, 2024. The series follows Alex Cross, a forensic psychologist and homicide D.C.
The show begins with Cross, his partner, and their wives enjoying a day out. Cross’s wife leaves to use the bathroom and is murdered with no notice or warning.
After that, we pick up with Cross a year later. And that where
the problems start. We start with Cross using his expert questioning skills to get a suspect to tell the truth. What we don’t know is why, if Cross has the skills to solve crimes, he doesn’t know or address who killed his wife. Throughout the first episode, Cross gets letters and gifts from an unknown person that hints at the murder of his wife, which he seems to ignore.
What’s more annoying and mystifying is his unsupportive partner, Detective John Sampson, who seems to never believe Cross when he says that something fishy is going on. He also never supports him when they’re attempting to solve crimes. It’s unclear if the writers of the series think this is clever to
have a best friend doubt you, or whether it’s supposed to be entertaining. The bottom line is, though, it’s unnerving to see the lack of support for Cross.
The series adds more drama with other plots conventions. The city is rocked when a local civil rights leader is shot and killed. Cross and his partner are asked to lead the investigation that takes them on a rocky road of the past, present, and potential future.
The twists and turns do keep you interested in the storyline as they work to join the villain to Cross and his quest to solve the show’s crimes.
With only two episodes to review, it’s hard to tell if the series is worth watching. More content will have to be viewed before a final grade can be given. Aldis Hodge does a very good job playing Cross, so the series is at least worth viewing.
If you’re looking for something to watch during the holiday season, this might be something to sink your teeth into. So far, the grade is a B– for a show that’s familiar, yet new at the same time. ●
READING
Jermel D. Carr helps those who desire a better life by teaching them how to focus and win in life.
His perfect for readers looking for a quick but comprehensive pocket guide to success and that provides practical, straightforward advice for becoming a winner.
Winning doesn’t just happen; it is a mindset that is built on confidence, and Hi-Five to Winning shows readers how to tap into that confidence. Many people have talent, but talent alone won’t take you to the top.
Successful people understand that you have to nurture your talent with concentrated effort and a well thought-out plan to rise above the rest. Mr. Carr, who has worked on billion dollar brands during his marketing career, knows that making complex ideas simple and memorable helps to make them easier
to understand and resonate with individuals better, which is exactly what he has done with his T.A.P.S. into Confidence framework. The framework was designed to empower individuals to utilize their passion and talents to cultivate their skills and support which is all needed to achieve their goals over and over again. “I wanted to write this book so that people, regardless of where they come from, feel that they have the tools needed to go into any situation and feel confident that they have a chance to win.
This applies to teens, young adults, and up to entry level and seasoned professionals in a variety of areas and times of their lives,” Mr. Carr said. Readers of Hi-Five to Winning will learn:
• The importance of establishing a winning mindset to achieve success
• How to recognize their talents and passion
• A simple application of how to set goals that help them focus on victories that are within their reach and serve as stepping-stones to further wins
• The T.A.P.S. into Confidence success framework, which is designed to empower them to utilize their passion and talent to cultivate the skills and support needed to achieve their goals to develop a mentality of confidence, helps a person focus on their positives, build a strong work ethic and support system, and learn to overcome the negativity of those critical of them or looking to hold them back.
Jermel explains these and other key nuggets in this Amazon top new seller which was released in November 2023.
Jermel Carr is a veteran marketer and the founder and Chief Solutions Provider of Project FORWARD Marketing Solutions, LLC, which is focused on providing strategic and tactical marketing solutions for small to mid-sized businesses to help them reach their highest branding and sales potential.
From a similar premise, he developed the Personal Brand Coaching Academy program to help students and professionals understand the importance of, and how to develop, their personal brands to allow them to be as successful as possible now and in the future.
Jermel has spent over two decades in marketing where he has worked at well-known companies such as Kimberly-Clark Corporation and Nestle Prepared Foods, where he
Phillip Weeden has an audiJermel D. Carr details the process of winning in the game of life with his latest book.
worked on billion dollar-plus brands like Huggies and Stouffer’s.
Jermel is from the south side of Chicago, IL where he was born and raised. He is a double graduate of the University of Minnesota where he earned his Bachelor of Science in Business Degree and a MBA in Marketing, pledged Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc., and walked on and lettered as a Golden Gopher football player.
Carr, who resides in Cleveland, Ohio enjoys running a small motivational t-shirt business called Uplift Tees, being a motivational speaker, trying new restaurants and cuisines, and watching and cheering on his teenage son, Jelani, in sports and academics. ●
You can follow Jermel on his author page at www.amazon.com/author/jermeldcarrmba and learn more about his consulting and speaking availability at www.projects4ward.com.
CAN A.I. REPLACE LONELINESS
It’s a lonely world out there for some. The question being asked now, “Is technology the answer to that loneliness?”
Written by Dr. Randall Sylvertooth
Dr. Randall Sylvertooth, is a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated was raised in Cleveland, Ohio and is an alumnus of The University of Cincinnati, University of Virginia, George Mason University and Capital Technology University.
Do AI developers and engineers have an answer to severe loneliness? What would it take for them to invent Generative AI companionship platforms for those who need friends or companions who would fulfill their intimate relationship and human conversational needs?
AI technology is now capable of helping people create their own special friends or intimate conversational partners. The new Generative AI platforms can produce AI-created personas that can match the voice and various characteristics of your most desired friend or mate.
We are now in an era where technology is increasingly intertwined with every aspect of our lives. AI has begun to fill roles that were traditionally reserved for humans, including those of friends, confidants, and even romantic partners. This burgeoning relationship between humans and AI raises profound questions about the nature of companionship, the human need for connection, and the potential consequences of substituting human interaction with digital entities.
There is one movie that illustrated the strong bond between a real human and a compatible computer woman voice companion. The movie HER, a 2013 science fiction romantic film written and produced by Spike Jonze follows the character of Theodore who develops an unlikely relationship with Samantha who is his AI virtual assistant and has a woman’s voice to communicate with him.
The technology that was considered “science fiction” in 2013 is now becoming very real with the existence of Generative AI. However, there are a lot of questions now being generated based on this innovative technology and how companies and tech firms are using AI for companions, mates, friends, and influencers. Psychology is just catching up to this new type of human reaction to machines. Generative AI is the technology behind the creation of companion-
ships. It’s a type of AI that can create updated content based on user prompts. Generative AI models can take inputs from the computer as text, image, and audio to create updated content by turning text inputs into an image, an image into a song, or video into text. So, it’s now used to respond to content generated by a human making it respond similarly to human reactions in a relationship.
More people are turning to Generative AI for companionship. Unfortunately, the reasons are varied. As individuals themselves, several key factors contribute to this situation. Globally we are experiencing a rapidly growing loneliness epidemic. Social isolation and loneliness are increasingly recognized as major health risks.
Fortunately, on a positive note, AI companions offer a semblance of connection for those who feel disconnected from human relationships. This is particularly escalated in countries like Japan, where societal changes have led to a rise in loneliness lifestyles. AI relationships can provide a certain level of convenience and control that’s not always possible in human interactions. These digital AI companionships are available 24x7, don’t have their own emotional baggage, and can be switched off at the user’s convenience. As mentioned previously, advances in Generative AI technology have enabled these digital entities to appear more humanlike in their interactions. From remembering past conversations to displaying empathy, AI companions can simulate many aspects of human interaction, making them more appealing as social partners.
Based on psychological principles loneliness can impact a
A.I. is on the brink of interacting with humans on a personal level.
person’s social cognition, and emotions, such as anxiety, fear, shame, and helplessness. It can also diminish optimism and selfesteem. Loneliness can have detrimental health effects, as well as create stress and cognitive decline, which can result in many types of diseases and healthcare issues. When dealing with chronic loneliness, people may believe that they are at fault. This is where Generative AI can assist but only if balanced with other human reactions from real human conversations and interactions.
Generative AI companions can trace their roots back to Apple’s Siri which was released in 2011. Siri is a well-developed and wellknown digital computer assistant program popularized by Apple, Inc. Siri, like in The movie HER, was a default female voice assistant but now users can choose different varieties of male and female voices. Nowadays, when Siri on an Apple computing platform is asked “What gender are you?” Siri will respond with “Genderless, I was not assigned yet.”
We cannot just mention Siri here as there are others that have started the trend of digital assistant voices such as Alexa, which
AI companions can fill the void of loneliness by simulating human relationships and emotional bonds and are designed to function as friends, mentors, therapists, or romantic partners. Some of the features included that are able to fill the human loneliness void are as follows; remembering personal details, personality to match your preferences, mimicking human emotions, showing empathy, responding in sympathetic and realistic ways, ability to chat at any time, learning details about your life and personalizing them to suit your specific needs and interests, and finally able to produce selfies and photos together with humans as your companion.
There are plenty of AI companies creating AI companionships such as Replika, Gatebox, and Harmony by RealDoll. Some of these AI companies, however, take the Generative AI a little further by building life-size and life-like humanoid -type robots that can hold conversations, remember user preferences, and express various personality traits based on the customization requests of the customer.
Replika – An AI chatbot that learns from user interactions to provide personalized responses.
Gatebox – A holographic AI companion that can send messages, welcome users’ homes, and control smart home appliances.
Harmony by RealDoll – A lifelike humanoid robot that can hold conversations, remember user preferences, and express various personality traits.
Pepper or Paro – Robot companions designed to interact with people and provide emotional support.
Researchers with AI tech companies state that the new use of Generative AI is that it can alleviate loneliness. However, at this time it’s very controversial, and researchers also think it can have a negative effect such as interference with the human birthrate based on the fact of elimination of human interaction and romantic intimacy.
The potential of AI as a means of assisting humanity is extraordinary, but we need to keep in mind that the more we rely on Artificial Intelligence, the greater the chances of disconnection from our fellow human beings. ●
Humans are more alone than they at any point in modern history.
FASHION
December is the month of giving. It’s also the month to celebrate winter fashions. Sweaters and scarves dominate this giving season.
Written by LARON HARLEM
A wardrobe shopper, stylist, and accessories designer who specializes in dapper looks that truly appeal to the most discerning eye. mailto: styledbydecar-lo@gmail.com, https://www.styledbydecarlo.com/
There is nothing like making sure the gift matches her outfit. Red is the color of love and romance.
Fathers often will provide protection and guidance for their daughters. They also provide a sense of fashion when gifting their kids with warm sweaters.
The warmth of a
cannot be denied. Especially when it’s wrapped by a special someone.
turtleneck
Sharing a hug is warm. Sharing a hug in warm sweaters makes Christmas comfortable and special.
DJ Johnie O is the owner of Nerve DJ’s Mixtapes.
