BREAKING
THE CHAINS
TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN
CLEVELAND: THE BEST LOCATION IN THE NATION
HOW MANY DATES BEFORE
SEX?
ON
CRITICAL
RACE
THEORY MILES DAVIS:
WE WANT MILES STYLE
NOVEMBER 2021 ISSUE
If you make the lives of men better, you
you make the world better!
SERVING CLEVELAND AND SURROUNDING OHIO CITIES: COLUMBUS TOLEDO CINCINNATI DAYTON YOUNGSTOWN
www.codemmagazine.com
INSIDE
29 HOW MANY DATES BEFORE SEX? Men and women differ on how long they should wait before having sex. We do a deep dive on how many dates are appropriate before taking things into the bedroom.
ON THE COVER
24
BREAKING THE CHAINS ON CRITICAL RACE THEORY
11 MAN CODES Quotes by people of distinction. 16 CLEVELAND: THE BEST LOCATION IN THE NATION
The battle for the truth is being fought in school districts across the county. The
With the recent changes in our climate, crime, the pandemic and skyrocketing prices of everything, Cleveland has never looked better as results of this battle will tell us if diversity, a place of residence. equity, and inclusion are real. 8 MOVERS AND SHAKERS Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!
4 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
32 CREATE THE STEPS TO BATTLE OBESITY Take the steps to get into shape before 2022 hits. We uncover great processes that you can follow to beat the battle of losing weight. 39 CHANGING STEM TO STEAM Educators looked at what would raise our competitive advantage. Increasing how much we read has an impact on our culture and the arts.
21 KING RICHARD: THE STORY OF VENUS AND SERENA WILLIAMS’ FATHER
43 MILES DAVIS: WE WANT MILES STYLE
Richard Williams went from picking cotton to raising the best tennis players in the world.
The days of music and style are gone. So let’s go back and review Miles Davis, one of the classic musicians who blended art with fashion.
[ INSIDE ]
ADVERTISE WITH CODE M Men of color influence the latest trends of popular culture, fashion, and music more than any demographic. Reach this audience when you advertise with CODE M Magazine. Call 216-273-9400 to request a rate kit.
13 BEATING THE STREETS TO SAVE LIVES
Demetrius Williams sacrifices everything to help kids.
TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN
CHIEF MARKETING OFFICER Stephen Curry
PUBLISHER Bilal S. Akram
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Teri Martin David Williams
PRESIDENT Brad J. Bowling MANAGING EDITOR David Christel GRAPHIC DESIGN Stiff Arm Media
IT CONSULTANT Anthony Jones Digital Jetstream, LLC
Fran'Kiesha Bland
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS David Christel Anthony Kirby Brad J. Bowling Bolling Smith Bilal S. Akram Dr. Amie Ogunsakin Dr. Dukon Corle y Lawre nce Burnley CODE MEDIA GROUP LLC
RADIO/PODCAST HOSTS
STAFF
Darrell Scott
Sharif Akram
Grace Roberts
Darrell Scott
MEDIA COORDINATOR Paula D Morrison EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT To the PUBLISHER Ladonna “Lala” Dicks DIRECTOR OF RADIO/PODCAST Anita Butler VIDEOGRAPHER
Braylon Lee ENGINEER RADIO/PODCAST Michael De La Cruz Ortiz SOCIAL MEDIA
Subscribe FREE online: www.codemmagazine.com
Rachel Woods #CODEMAGINTL To submit comments, feedback or to inquire about advertising please contact us at info@codemediagroupllc.com CEO AND CFO: BILAL AKRAM
bilal.akram@codemediagroupllc.com
216-273-9400 ext 100
PRESIDENT: BRAD BOWLING
brad.bowling@codemediagroupllc.com
216-273-9400 ext. 103
CMO: STEPHEN CURRY
stephen.curry@codemediagroupllc.com
216-273-9400 ext. 104
ADVERTISING: KEVIN JONES
kevin.jones@codemedialgroupllc.com
216-273-9400 ext. 108
ADVERTISING: TERI MARTIN
teri.martin@codemmediagroupllc.com
216-273-9400 ext. 110
CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.
Code M Magazine is published by CODE MEDIA GROUP, LLC © 2021 All Rights Reserved
[ TRAVEL ]
CODE M / AUGUST 2021 9
MOVERS &
SHAKERS
E L I S A 8 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!
C L A R K
[ MOVERS & SHAKERS ]
Elisa Cuervo Clark Elisa is the founder of a small production company Spanglish Media Groupe, LLC. The company is dedicated to making films and other media promoting stories of the underrepresented. Elisa’s last film, The Long Drive Home, garnered her a prestigious Telly Award in 2021 for Directing and Executive Producing. Her prior non-film experience includes five years as the Senior Risk Analyst for Cuyahoga County.
Jerome G. Williams Sr. Jerome “Gospelkidd Jae Williams ” is a 2002 Broadcaster’s National Hall of Fame inductee with 49 years of broadcasting experience in Northeast Ohio. He is the General Manager of WOVU 95.9 FM “ Our Voices United” a Burten Bell Carr non-profit Community Radio Station here in Cleveland Ohio . Jae has the number one Urban Inspirational Talk/Music Radio Program in Northeast Ohio entitled What’s Up With The Church.
Lindsay T. Woodson, AICP Woodson, a Certified Urban Planner, is a Program Manager with the newly created Bloomberg Center for Cities at Harvard University, and a Resiliency Specialist with Weston & Sampson, a design, engineering, and environmental services firm. At Harvard, Woodson works with city leaders in the US to implement solutions to some of their most pressing community, economic development, and planning challenges. Woodson works across scales from the neighborhood to the State levels on a variety of climate resilience and adaptation projects. Woodson is currently engaged in development and testing of a first-of-its-kind planning and design tool for statewide capital-funded projects.
Antoine D. Crews Antoine, Current President of Vanguards of Cleveland, is a 14-year veteran who started his career with the East Cleveland Fire Department in 2006, and joined Cleveland Fire in 2015. A Martin L. King high school graduate and the valedictorian of his Fire Tech class in 2004, he went on to attend the University of Toledo where he majored in Education and became a brother of the Iota Phi Theta fraternity.
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 9
10 SEPTEMBER 2021 / CODE M
MAN CODES:
QUOTES BY COLIN POWELL A MAN OF HONOR Compiled by Bilal S. Akram
“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”
13 Rules I have lived by: by Colin Powell 1.
It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
“Children need to get a high-quality education, avoid violence and the criminal-justice system, and gain jobs. But they deserve more. We want them to learn not only reading and math but fairness, caring, self-respect, family commitment, and civic duty.”
2.
2. Get mad, then get over it.
“Surround yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those who work hard and play hard.”
3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. 4. It can be done. 5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it. 6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
“If a leader doesn't convey passion and intensity then there will be no passion and intensity within the organization and they'll start to fall down and get depressed.”
7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours.
“I was born in Harlem, raised in the South Bronx, went to public school, got out of public college, went into the Army, and then I just stuck with it.”
9. Share credit.
“Many interviewers when they come to talk to me, think they're being progressive by not mentioning in their stories any longer that I'm black. I tell them, 'Don't stop now. If I shot somebody you'd mention it.’”
8. Check small things.
10. Remain calm. Be kind. 11. Have a vision. Be demanding. 12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers. 13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 11
12 JUNE 2021 / CODE M
LIFE
BEATING THE STREETS TO SAVE LIVES W
hen we think of heroes, we often think of tall, shapely men in capes flying in to save the day. But in Cleveland, heroes come in all shapes and sizes. To over 700 kids, Demetrius Williams is their hero. Williams is the Executive Director President of Beat The Streets Cleveland, a non-profit organization that helps keep kids off the streets.
Demetrius Williams sacrifices everything to help kids. by Bolling Smith kids.
CLE STRONG
The program, born out a need to help kids stay safe, teaches the important concepts of respect, teamwork, leadership, integrity, and perseverance through the engagement of the sport of wrestling. “We work in underserved communities to create a place where kids can be kids in a safe and fun way,” Williams commented.
motivated adults with goals,” Williams ended.
“We use wrestling to teach the kids life lessons that can help to create
Williams is seen as a savior to the parents who work with him to help
Beat The Streets is a national organization working in over fifteen cities across the US. The program offers kids all over Cleveland the opportunity to be involved in a sport, develop friendships, and to stay out of trouble.
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 13
[ LIFE ] their kids. Most would not know how to help their kids if it were not for Williams. Beat the Streets Cleveland was formed in 2016 by individuals whose lives have been positively influenced by the sport of wrestling. The core focus of the organization is to positively alter life’s trajectory for Cleveland area youth through mentoring, training, and youth athletics. Simply stated, Beat the Streets Cleveland is opening doors for Cleveland youth that would otherwise be closed. In 2021 they successfully supported and impacted over 600 children throughout the city of Cleveland through the following programs: In-Season Competition Team Freestyle and Greco Club Team
8-Week Summer Enrichment Program 4-Week Day Summer Camp Wrestling Clinics (partnered with Ohio Regional Training Center) 3-Day Nature Camping Trip These programs were achieved through working with various local organizations such as: Cleveland Metropolitan School District; Cuyahoga Metropolitan Housing Authority; Burten, Bell, Carr Development Corporation; Bellaire Puritas Development Corporation; After School All-Stars; Benedictine High School; and various other local schools and organizations. They are committed and intentional about creating opportunities for positive change. They are changing lives daily. ●
14 SEPTEMBER 2021 / CODE M 14 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
[ HEALTH ]
[ LIFE ]
CLEVELAND: THE BEST LOCATION IN THE NATION With the recent changes in our climate, crime, the pandemic and skyrocketing prices of everything, Cleveland has never looked better as a place of residence. by Brad Bowling
W
here should we start when considering Cleveland? Do we begin with Lake Erie catching on fire? Or maybe we should start with the Browns’ two losses to the Denver Broncos. We could mention the Indians (now Guardians) losing the World Series in the ninth inning of game seven. That’s how most of America thinks of Cleveland. But if you live here, if you have spent any decent amount of time here, what you find is a hidden gem of a city blossoming like never before. The phrase “Cleveland: The Best Location in The Nation” was born in the 1940s when performed by Les Adair with the Vic Stuart Combo. The song detailed the city’s various amenities and quality of life. Those attributes still thrive today as Cleveland has become one of the best places to live in the US. Cleveland is ranked 54 in the country by size and, due to recent events in our country, that turns out to be a good thing. When the pandemic hit, space became a commodity. Clevelanders were able to shelter in place because we aren’t on top of each other in Northeast Ohio. Places like New York City, where 7 million people live in 5 square miles, suffered
16 OCTOBER NOVEMBER 2021 2021 / CODE / CODE MM
due to lack of space. So, let’s go over the amazing qualities of the CLE: WEATHER While Cleveland does get snow, it has so much more to offer. The changing seasons makes Cleveland a wonderful environment to live in. Fall offers some amazing scenery and there is nothing like a cool Friday night high school football game. Cleveland offers beaches in the summer and skiing in the winter. No matter what kind of mood you’re in, Cleveland offers you a chance to experience it. LOCATION Cleveland is 500 miles from most of the United States. You can travel with relative ease to so many extraordinary places. The airport is easy to navigate and uncongested like larger airports. Cleveland’s location also offers catastrophe living, meaning it doesn’t have forest fires, floods, droughts, earthquakes, or hurricanes. It might get an occasional tornado, but those are far and few between. With climate change, Cleveland offers some of the safest living in the country.
[ LIFE ] COST OF LIVING INDEX BY CITY San Francisco: 178.6 Los Angeles: 146 New York City: 128 Washington DC: 120.1 Denver: 112.1 Miami: 110.1 Atlanta: 100.3 Chicago: 100.1 Houston: 95.8 New Orleans: 92.4
Cleveland: 90
EDUCATION The Cleveland School District has launched an initiative to meet the needs of the “whole” child that includes the three core principles of equity, partnerships, and quality schools as the most critical in developing highfunctioning, responsive, prepared, and empowered students and citizens who will positively contribute to society. “Winter is a small price to pay to not suffer from any disastrous weather,” says Nathaniel James who lives in Parma, Ohio. SPORTS Cleveland has five professional sports teams: Guardians (baseball), Browns (football), Cavaliers (basketball), Crunch (soccer), and Monsters (hockey). Most cities in the country don’t have five teams. So, if you want to support a major franchise, Cleveland is your city. We also have tons of college and great high school teams filled with tradition, excitement, and talent. COST OF LIVING Cleveland, and it’s cost of living, makes it an affordable place to live. Housing, energy, and quality of life are all above average for those who make Cleveland their home. For anyone who has lived on the west coast understand the struggle of finding reasonable housing. Cleveland’s cost of living index is lower than many US cities
THE ARTS Cleveland has the second largest theater district in the country. Second only to New York’s Broadway, Cleveland attracts all the major touring plays, concerts, and artists. With Euclid Ave. sporting the largest outdoor chandelier in the world, your downtown experience is getting better and better. And don’t forget about the Cleveland Orchestra, Karamu House, and all of the amazing museums in the area. “Cleveland offers a vibrant theatre district and arts culture, unmatched in the nation,” Solon resident Russ Klein said. “Cleveland certainly isn’t perfect, but aside from the winter cold, it’s hard for me to imagine living anywhere better.” METROPARKS Cleveland is called “The Forest City” for a very good reason. The “Emerald Necklace” of the Metroparks system connects all the parks throughout northeast Ohio. Since Metroparks took over some of the CleveCODE / OCTOBER 2021 17 CODE MM / NOVEMBER
[ FILM ]
18 OCTOBER 2021 / CODE M
[ FILM ] land’s beaches, the experience of walking on our sandy beaches is second to none. If you’re looking for balance between working in the concrete jungle and finding peace in some green space, Cleveland’s Metroparks, considered THE parks system in the country, offers a great space to recharge your batteries. FOOD OMG, the food! What can be said about Cleveland’s restaurants? This past summer, outdoor seating was never better with the warm glowing nights and great patio dining. From the eastside to the westside and south, there are so many great places to dine. We quite often forget to explore some of these places: Tremont, downtown Willoughby, Crocker Park, Chagrin Falls, Little Italy — I could go on and on naming amazing places to enjoy sumptuous meals and gather with friends. CRIME Crime will always be present in any major metropolis, but relative to your location, Cleveland is considered a safe place to live. Much can be done to reduce crime in certain locations and Cleveland is working hard to create a diverse, crime-free environment for people to work, live, and thrive in.
tinues to draw national businesses and between the Rock-n -Roll Hall of Fame, CSU Convocation Center, House of Blues, Blossom, Cain Park, and Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse events never seem to stop in Cleveland. Obviously, there are better places to live depending on what your needs are. There are bigger cities to enjoy. But if you are looking for a big city with a small-town feel, Cleveland is the best location in the nation. So, enjoy our wonderful attractions and places to eat and enjoy the holiday season.
ENTERTAINMENT As Cleveland grows, it offers some great locations to just hang out and have fun. Weather you want to gamble at Jack’s Casino or party in the Flats, there is always something to do it you’re looking for something different and stimulating. The convention center con-
Crocker Park has become a favorite destination for Clevelanders looking for fun and great food.
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 19
FILM
KING RICHARD:
THE
G FILM REVIEW
STORY OF SERENA AND VENUS WILLIAMS’ FATHER Richard Williams went from picking cotton to raising the best tennis players in the world.
rowing up in the South, Richard Williams never imagined that he would raise two of the most powerful figures in women’s tennis. Richard grew up picking cotton in a rough world, one in which as a child he watched his best friend have his hands cut off and then murdered because he stole cotton while picking it. That event changed Richard’s life. He learned at a very early age that he needed to perfect the craft of staying alive if he were going to survive being a Black person. With the help of his mother, Richard began a journey of learning and shaping his mindset to create a better life for himself. Once Richard had children, he passed his work ethic on to them. The film, King Richard, relates the story of how Richard introduced his daughters Venus and Serena to the world of tennis. Based on a true story, the movie shows us what Richard and the girls went through to become who they are today. Richard, played by Will Smith, does an amazing job of capturing Richard’s strange walk and way of talking in a way that only Smith can do. His performance in the film will most certainly garner him award opportunities in 2022. The world of tennis was, and still is, mostly a white person’s
CODE M / NOVEMBER CODE M / APRIL 2021 2021 21 19
[ FILM ]
Will Smith is amazing as Richard Williams in the film, King Richard.
sport. King Richard shows us just how hard it was to convince people that the girls were serious about their craft. The beauty of the film is that it allows us to see a different side of Richard whom the media has always portrayed in a negative light. This film will undoubtedly change that image. King Richard offers us a chance to laugh, to see Richard and
22 OCTOBERr 2021 / CODE M
his daughters’ struggles, and to emotionally engage with this family as we witness their striving to achieve their dreams. This the perfect movie with which to begin the holiday season. The film, produced by Warner Brothers Studios, will be released in theaters on November 18.
[ COVER ]
CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 23
COVER [ TRAVEL ]
BREAKING THE CHAINS
ON
CRITICAL
RACE
The battle for the truth is being fought in school districts across the county. The results of this battle will tell us if diversity, equity, and inclusion are real.
Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.
THEORY T
he US is going through such extraordinary upheaval at this time with a lot of ancient skeletons coming out of the closet that finally need addressing. Foremost of those skeletons is the treatment of African Americans since they were first brought to these shores. Enslaved, they were meant to do one thing: satisfy the needs of White people. That is the definition of an enslaved people, only existing to serve the ruling class. Historically, African Americans have been labeled every negative characterization one can imagine, they’ve been debased as second class and undeserving, and some people today still consider Blacks as being barely human and most definitely unequal. Unbe-
24 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
lievably, there are those who want to reinstate segregation, deny Blacks voting rights, and they want to return to the social dynamic and classifications of the Old South. Why? Essentially, those in power always seek to maintain the status quo and to garner even more power. Amazingly, oppressors immediately revert to “victimhood” when their power is questioned. In the US, they cry foul, they shout about their rights, their fearmongering proclaims that they’ll be extinguished as a race. And they’ll use every trick in the book — including totally fabricated religious “reasoning,” pseudo-science, and patriotic intellectualism — to hold onto their deluded position of superiority. What they’ll also do is try to whitewash history and their part in it. That’s where Critical Race Theory (CRT)
[ COVER ]
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021
25
[ COVER ] comes into play.
labels all White people as racists
Put very simplistically, CRT looks at how American history has impacted society, its laws and policymaking, and its various institutions. Specifically, it’s “understanding and rectifying the ways in which a regime of white supremacy and its subordination of people of color in America has had an impact on the relationship between social structure and professed ideals such as ‘the rule of law’ and ‘equal protection.’”
is indoctrinating students in racism
What Is Critical Race Theory, and Why Is Everyone Talking About It? | Columbia News Put another way, it’s what is known as “structural racism,” something CRT scholars
explain has been built into the very fabric of our social dynamics at every level from business to education, athletics, religion, our justice system, and our politics and governance. So, understanding “racism” and its effect on people of color and American society in order to move forward — and hopefully resolve racism — is what’s at the core of CRT. A lot of people don’t like the idea of CRT because they believe it: has its roots in Marxist principles and will lead to socialism/revolutionary communism which failed in other countries, and it will destroy our democracy
26 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
actually perpetuates racism by consistently putting it front and center in all discourse makes White children feel shame and guilt because they’re being taught that they’re oppressors keeps people of color trapped in a mindset of victimhood and doesn’t allow them to grow beyond America’s past paints America as an irredeemably racist country since its inception promotes divisiveness and intolerance
by pitting Blacks against Whites rejects the fundamental ideals upon which our constitutional republic is based All of the preceding points are supported by not just Whites and conservatives but people of color, parents, teachers, employers, and politicians. Hence, legislation has been introduced by twentytwo states to ban CRT theory, and five states have signed anti-CRT proposals into law. Sadly, the laws in these states are grounded in fear and willful ignorance
because, for one, historically, CRT studies were strictly for college upperclassmen and graduate-level students. Secondly, CRT studies are simply a deep dive into our country’s actual history, which is on record. Any attempts at this kind of pushback or coverup are being anti-history, a denial of fact and a dismissal of people’s experiences — and history isn’t about wearing rosecolored glasses, as so many would prefer so as to not upset their patriotic and nationalistic sensibilities. CRT has become a real hot button issue that’s causing many people to have intense visceral reactions, as well as
prompting many to discourse on the merits or faults of CRT. This has led to a good deal of purposeful misinformation and misrepresentation, deliberate polarization, and political grandstanding. To that point, what scares many White people about CRT is the unconscious fear of losing their placement in society, of being identified as “the bad guy,” that they’ll experience what African Americans have dealt with for hundreds of years, capitalism will be overthrown and wealth redistributed along racial lines, and that they’ll be forced to “make up” for centuries of transgres-
[ COVER ]
sions via reparations, which could include giving back land and property and paying out huge financial awards. Unfortunately, what many people are sidestepping in the CRT flareup is the psychological dynamics behind the formulation of racism and how it has impacted individuals and society as a whole — and the fact that there is a fine line between what people perceive is racist and what isn’t. As we all know, no two individual’s perceptions are the same, yet it’s also clear that someone who has never been oppressed has no real understanding of what it means to be oppressed. This brings us to the point that most people are completely unaware of the fact that their actions and behaviors,
how they communicate, and the words they use can be riddled with microaggressions that appear to be innocuous to the non-oppressed and therefore meaningless. To dismiss and deny another person’s perceptions, experiences and feelings, no matter who that person is, is the height of arrogance and insensitivity. CRT is highlighting this fact and, like wayward children being admonished, most of us don’t care to be called on the carpet or made to feel uncomfortable about our actions and behaviors. The fact remains, though, that this has been occurring in America for a very long time and is still prevalent today — and it’s time to change that dynamic and the mindset behind it. So, now let’s look at why CRT advocates support it. The positive understanding of CRT is that it seeks to recognize that 1) race is a hu-
man social construct, not a biological reality; 2) racism is endemic to American society and found in its culture, society, and legal codes; 3) it addresses racial disparities and seeks the eradication of oppression in all its forms both subtle and overt; and 4) to respect and honor the life experiences, contributions, and spirit of people of color as integral and equal members of American society. So what does all this all come down to? Pure and simple: racism. How to eradicate it is the primary question. The easiest way to dissolve it comes down to a few essential nouns that go a long way toward turning the tide on racism: responsibility, respect, honesty, humility, compassion, integrity, dignity, generosity, gratitude, objectivity, and grace. CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 27
[ COVER ] Combined, these create a balanced perspective, especially when one leaves their ego out of the equation. The journey to an unbiassed, supportive, and inspired society is fraught with challenges. CRT, minus the fear and extremism put forth by both sides, is not the end all and be all that will solve our contretemps with racism. It will, though, help keep us in check if we seriously look deep within ourselves to understand what our beliefs, values, needs, and principles are based upon. If they malign, suppress, dismiss, and disparage others simply to support our egoic needs, then we’re doing a disservice to ourselves, our country, and humanity as a whole. We can turn racism into a non-issue — not through whitewashing, denial, or by diminishing — and put our country back on the track that truly aspires to, practices, and daily lives the ideals upon which our nation was founded. ●
28 OCTOBER 2021 / CODE M
[ LIFE ]
HOW MANY DATES BEFORE
SEX?
Men and woman differ on how long they should wait before having sex. We do a deep dive on how many dates are appropriate before taking things into the bedroom.
Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.
F
or those looking for love, post-pandemic dating has gone to yet another level. When COVID-19 hit, everyone moved to online dating. That transition has redefined how we engage with each other, choose when to meet in person, and finally when to have sex. The question remains: How many dates should you go on before having sex? The answer to this question comes in layers. For men, based on a Groupon poll, they were willing to date five times before engaging in sex. Women were willing to wait until date nine. According to relationship therapists, those under the age of thirty who have never been married often engaged in sex around date three. But let’s back up for a second and take a look at the process by which people are making this emotionally charged decision. First, age is an important determining factor. For younger people hooking up, sex is far less dramatic than for a divorced single parent of three looking to re-enter the dating scene. The older you are, and depending on if you were married, the decision of when to have sex with your new partner becomes CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 29
[ LIFE ] much more difficult to determine.
right way, has that special twinkle in their eye, etc.
“I wanted to keep my partners to a minimum after I became single, so I limited my choices and waited until I was ready,” Aziza Jimerson, from Cleveland Heights said. “Once I was totally comfortable, then I was all in.”
The thought of waiting becomes lost in the intense feelings of releasing sexual tension, desire, passion, and lust. The decision is made to throw caution to the wind and have sex with a person we barely know. After sex, though, the fire quickly dissipates when we learn that the person we thought we were falling for bursts our bubble.
Ironically, many people want to discuss how many dates they went on before they had their first kiss. Most people over forty wait until the second date to kiss, let alone worry about when to have sex with them. Men are okay with kissing on a first date while women prefer to wait until the second date before offering a kiss. This response is based on the way we date today — online dating has created a
So, what’s the answer for when to have sex? The bottom line is that there is no formula singles can follow to make a good decision. For those who are dating, the process for each date, each person we’re considering a candidate for sex, seems to be different and involves a number of components
Everyone has made mistakes when it comes to dating. Most people have had the terrible experience of moving way too fast with what turned out to be the wrong person. But modern dating creates moments of euphoria where everything seems aligned and idyllic. wait-and-see mentality for many people. “Meeting people online has created a process. If texting online goes well, then we move it offline to talk on the phone. If that goes well, we schedule a coffee date. Then, if that goes well, we meet for a real date,” Frank from the Westside explained. “If all of that goes well, I still need to see if the person I’ve invested all of that time into continues to be the same person before I decide to sleep with them.” Relationship expert Darlene Jeter offered a female perspective on how women approach dating. “While women are experiencing more sexual freedom, some women continue to ask themselves: Did I give it up too soon? Should I wait a little longer? What will he think of me after I give it up?” Jeter said. “Women should not get themselves into a tizzy mulling over questions about when to have sex. There is one question women need to give a lot of thought to, however,” Jeter concluded, “Does he possess the qualities I’m seeking in a mate?” Everyone has made mistakes when it comes to dating. Most people have had the terrible experience of moving way too fast with what turned out to be the wrong person. But modern dating creates moments of euphoria where everything seems aligned and idyllic. The date is saying all the right things, behaving the
30 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
from age, looks, children, parents, pets, dating history, outcomes we’re seeking, schooling, careers, financial status, sexual proclivities, and even the area of town we live in. What matters most is whether the person is worth the investment. Can they fulfill you intellectually, emotionally, physically, psychologically, and spiritually? If the answer is yes, then you’ll make a good decision on when engaging sexually is right. There is an enormous difference between needing some lovin’ and looking for a soulmate. Those who are single seem to have developed their own processes and criteria to determine when the right time to have sex is. Whatever your decision, consider the consequences and how you’ll feel about yourself afterwards. Very importantly, understand the “why” behind your decision and who you are deep within your own heart. As wonderful as a partner and sex can be, you must still be true to yourself. ●
“Remember, there’s a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you.” Anonymous
[ LIFE ]
CODE M / JULY 2021 31
health
CREATE THE
STEPS
TO
BATTLE OBESITY
Take the steps to get into shape before 2022 hits. We uncover great processes that you can follow to beat the battle of losing weight.
32 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
[ HEALTH ]
Written by Dr. Dokun
Written by Dr. Ogunsakin
Dr. Dokun is an Associate Professor of Medicine and Endocrinology, and Director, Division of Endocrinology and Metabolism at the Carver School of Medicine, University of Iowa (UI).
Dr. Amie Ogunsakin is a clinical endocrinologist at University of Iowa. Clinical interests include general endocrinology, obesity, and health care disparities.
R
ecognizing obesity as a disease is a major shift in our collective thinking. Most people consider obesity an aesthetic problem, not a chronic disease issue. Too often, we use the word “obese” as an adjective for how a person looks without recognizing that obesity is a disease the person is battling at a metabolic level. The Battle Against Obesity Many of us struggle to both lose weight and keep the weight off. Trying to talk to your doctor about effective ways to manage excess weight can be challenging because you might feel embarrassed or stigmatized as you try to get help. Most people don’t even realize they can ask their doctor specifically about weight loss, or that there are trained obesity specialists who can support your specific needs and help guide your weight loss journey. Dietary modification and increased physical activity remain key concepts in the management of obesity, however, treatment options now include medications, as well as surgery for weight loss. There have been significant advancements in the science of anti-obesity medications (AOMs) offering new, safer, more effective medicines than ever before, but you need to examine your health insurance coverage to understand what anti-obesity action steps are covered by your health plan. Here are ways you can advocate for your own care.
Confront Your Weight Loss Challenge The first step in the fight against obesity is recognizing and acknowledging the existence of the problem. Be bold in taking this first step. It can be frustrating to achieve weight loss and maintain your progress and there are several reasons why. Most people don’t know that obesity has been scientifically proven to be a disease. Obesity is diagnosed in four classes of body mass index or BMI:
Overweight: BMI is 25.0 to 29.9 Class 1 obesity: BMI is 30.0 to 34.9 Class 2 obesity: BMI is 35.0 to 39.9 Class 3 obesity: BMI is equal to or greater than 40.0.
weight it thinks you should maintain, so the brain sends signals that you’re hungry to get you to consume more food to maintain that weight. Consuming the wrong foods consistently — those high in sugars and saturated fats — and lack of exercise are also contributing factors in the severity of the disease. Trying to lose weight is a journey, so beware of unrealistic expectations. Remember: weight is often gained gradually over a period so your weight loss will be gradual as well. Sometimes, part of taking the first step may include identifying one area of your journey that you can focus on and improve. This could be as simple as decreasing portion size, decreasing dietary consumption of sugary drinks, or increased physical activity. One of the keys to success is being consistent with the modifications. Often, this is more effective and practical than trying to make several changes at the same time. Once
(Waist circumference is also a factor in diagnosing obesity.)
What’s often misunderstood is how impactful heredity is on the prevalence of the disease in your family. If your mother and father battled obesity, you, your siblings, and your children are likely to have similar challenges with weight. The truth is that the longer you’ve lived with excess weight, the harder it can be to combat the disease. Your brain has a “set point” for the
Daily exercise increases the metabolism and helps maintain weight.
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 33
[ LIFE ]
34 SEPTEMBER 2021 / CODE M
[ HEALTH [ LIFE ] you’ve made your first incremental change, you can build a supportive habit based on that success while on your journey. Consulting your physician is crucial in combatting any disease and obesity is no exception. However, your health insurance might not cover anti-obesity specialist consultations or treatments, so it’s important to understand what your health insurance does cover. Check Your Insurance Coverage Before you make an appointment with your doctor or an obesity specialist, you should do your research and be prepared with information that verifies whether anti-obesity treatments are covered by your health insurance. Some insurance companies are beginning to cover anti-obesity treatments but not everyone’s insurance offers access to AOMs, dieticians, physical activity, or other supports. Unfortunately, coverage for AOMs remains inconsistent. For example, the Veteran’s Administration covers FDA-approved weight loss medications. However, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) does not cover AOMs in the Medicare Part D program, affecting 60 million
beneficiaries. Approximately 40 percent of people with employer-sponsored insurance, around 19 million people with obesity, have commercial coverage of AOMs. The fact is pharmacotherapy is safer and more effective than ever before thanks to breakthrough science. Still, there are gaps in insurance coverage that may limit access to lifesaving therapies and trained specialists. A trained specialist in obesity will complete a comprehensive evaluation and assess your medical history and will ultimately be able to discuss weight loss medications and choices that are best for you. Not everyone is a candidate for weight loss medications, especially if they have other medical conditions that may make the use of these medications unsafe. Combining Interventions for Positive Impact No single solution will win your battle against obesity. A combination of many factors in a continuum of obesity care
may be just what you need to reach your goals. Once you’ve mapped out what your health insurance will cover and you’ve seen an obesity specialist, here are additional steps to implement in your life. Explore Anti-Obesity Medications – In many cases, anti-obesity medications may be just what you need to manage your long-term battle against excess weight. However, not all physicians will bring this up as a treatment option during your visit. Ask questions about whether medications should be a part of the management of your weight. If your physician agrees that you are good candidate for AOMs, discuss which medications are available to you and why a medication might be appropriate for you. Don’t forget to ask about the possible side effects of the medications. AOMs, like most medications currently used to treat diseases, have potential side effects and there are times when stopping the medication and or switching to a different medication may be necessary. Discuss
Develop a daily ritual of eating better foods.
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 35
FASHION
[ FASHION ]
TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN www.codemmagazine.com
SUBSCRIBE TODAY
32 AUGUST 2021 / CODE M
[ HEALTH ] your comfort level with how the medication can be taken. Some medications are pills while others are taken by injection.
•
Ask questions about realistic expectations concerning how much weight you could lose and how the medication works to affect your metabolism during your treatment program. These are important questions because some people quit their treatment programs when it seems ineffective based on their unrealistic expectations of how much weight they can lose in a given amount of time. Some medications will affect your appetite while others make you feel full for a longer period after a meal. Some AOMs affect your metabolism while others have a combination of effects. Ultimately, asking questions and being informed will help you and your physician make the best decision that’s right for you.
•
When you consume sugary drinks and ingest unhealthy snacks, you’re making a withdrawal from your body’s health account. Consuming colorful vegetables, healthy proteins, and reducing sugar consumption is like depositing money in the bank, your body’s health account gets stronger with each deposit.
Ask your insurance provider if consulting a dietician is covered in your plan. Working with a diet specialist to chart a course for healthier food consumption can be foundational to impactful changes in your health. Increase Physical Activity to Maintain Gains – With increased weight we decrease our physical activity, which in turn decreases our resting metabolic rate. You’re burning fewer calories when your body is at rest, which contributes to weight retention. Although increased physical activity may not
necessarily result in weight loss, there is evidence that it plays a key role in weight maintenance. Find Your Community – An African proverb says “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Find other people who are on a similar weight management journey, who understand your challenges and will celebrate your triumphs. Find your tribe in exercise groups, culinary clubs, at your workplace, in your place of worship, or near your home who have similar goals and values as yours — you’ll achieve more. Working within a community that shares your goals will be very important for your long-term success while helping you believe in yourself. ●
What You Eat Is Important! – Heredity is a major factor in your battle against excess weight, but another important factor is what you eat. We know we need to eat better and maintaining a healthy diet has long-term positive effects but doing this is a daily challenge for many people. Eating healthy can be more expensive than consuming less healthy options. One approach is to treat healthy eating like an investment in your health.
Eating the right foods is the key to creating a healthier lifestyle.
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 37
38 OCTOBER 2021 / CODE M
EDUCATION
CHANGING STEM TO STEAM Educators looked at what would raise our competitive advantage. Increasing how much we read has an impact on our culture and the arts. by David Christel CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 39
[ EDUCATION ]
I
But what the report also found is that …
t’s been known for decades that the American educational system has been in decline. For a country with 130,930 K-12 schools and 5,300 colleges and universities, plus the largest number of top universities in the world … •
Approximately 32 million adults are considered to be illiterate 1
•
About 130 million people read below the equivalent of a sixth-grade level 2
•
The US ranks 29 out of 203 nations in education rankings 3
•
The US ranks 38th in math scores and 24th in science — while at the same time decreasing education funding by 3% 4
To intervene in this downward trend, US educators have been instituting a multitude of different teaching approaches trying to instill in students — obsessed with their phones, social media, and video games — curiosity about their world and a love of learning. And, in order to save face on the world stage, educators looked at what would raise our competitive advantage. What they came up with is STEM: Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math. STEM was first introduced in 2001 by scientific administrators at the US National Science Foundation. A report by the National Academies of Science, Engineering, and Medicine emphasized the links between prosperity, knowledge-intensive jobs dependent on science and technology, and continued innovation to address societal problems. The thinking back in the early 2000s was that with a workforce seriously lacking educationally, the US would not be able to compete in the world economy and we would thus not only lose our standing as a world superpower but become subject to the economic dictates of other countries (something we’ve been doing to them since forever). The question on many people’s minds is whether STEM has worked and how people of color have benefitted from it in terms of jobs. An April 2021 Pew Research Center analysis discovered the following concerning the STEM workforce: “The STEM workforce … has grown rapidly in recent decades. An updated analysis by the Bureau of Labor Statistics since the coronavirus outbreak began projects strong growth for many STEM occupations in the United States, particularly epidemiologists, medical scientists, biochemists and biophysicists, and biological technicians, among others.”
40 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
•
Black and Hispanic workers are underrepresented in STEM jobs relative to their shares in the US workforce as a whole.
•
Black and Hispanic graduates are underrepresented among degree recipients in STEM fields compared with their share of all degrees.
•
Women have made significant gains in life science and physical science jobs, but other areas have seen few increases.
•
Women earn a large share of degrees in health-related and life science fields, far fewer in other STEM areas.
•
STEM workers typically earn more than those in other jobs, with the highest median pay for Asian men and the lowest for Black and Hispanic women.
Once again, economic and career disparities for people of color. The reasons for this cover a broad array of issues, something that’s not the focus of this article. Instead, let’s look at what’s missing from STEM that could hopefully reverse our educational downward spiral. Since the Industrial Revolution, the perspective about people in the workforce was that we’re simply worker bees whose job is to complete tasks assigned by the powers that be. Our feelings about our jobs, its deleterious effects on our entire wellbeing, the people we work with, and our career track dreams were immaterial. That’s all changed. People, human beings with feelings and lives other than work, want the best things out of life, including work they find fulfilling. They want to be inspired, supported, and encouraged to be what they desire most for themselves. Looking at STEM — science, technology, engineering, and math — the primary brain activity is all about intellect, organization, and analysis. It’s unemotional, focused on facts and data. What’s been left out of the equation is what drives us in the first place: our humanness, our need to create, our desire to be expressive. In short, to not be automatons but living beings full of … well … life! Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.” That isn’t just applicable to the world around us, it applies to the person we are within, who we
[ EDUCATION ]
aspire to be, to know ourselves.
It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”
When STEM was first touted as the mechanism to once again put America in the lead, many people immediately saw its flaw. It left out the most intrinsic facet of who we are, what gives us hope, what shapes the world around us and encourages us adapt, what helps us to evolve and innovate, what drives us to expand the boundaries of comprehension and expression, what inspires us to “start high, and then go higher” — the arts.
We are inherently multi-dimensional, equipped with the capacity to explore the depths of our vast universe — to hear, see, smell, taste, touch, perceive, and intuit the unknown in all its multi-faceted wonder. Art takes us out of the Petrie dish of a strictly scientific, observational approach to life and expands our possibilities to imagine and create, to transport us out of mundane existence to grander visions of human potential.
What researchers are discovering is that for human beings to truly thrive, they need to know what it means to fully breathe life, something that can’t be done via just left-brain activities. To ignore the arts is to experience life in black & white, to miss the nuanced shadings of human endeavors, of the connectivity of heart and soul.
Art connects us heart to heart, in our aspirations to know ourselves individually and collectively ever more deeply. Art is the golden thread that connects all the dots of existence and, in the process, allows us to see our souls.
Human beings are not a computer-generated algorithm or app. We think, we feel, we act. To reduce us to simply being a cog in a machine is to make us expendable and of value only in terms of productivity. That is the worst kind of dystopian future imaginable. To quote Einstein again, “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere. … Imagination is everything.
And so it is with STEM as we look to gather educational STEAM to transform ourselves and our world through an integrated amalgamation of science, technology, engineering, the ARTS, and math. Let’s breathe in life to the fullest! “Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” Pablo Picasso
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 41
[ BUSINESS ]
42 SETPEMBER 2021 / CODE M
MILES DAVIS:
WE
FASHION The days of music and style are gone. So let’s go back and review Miles Davis, one of the classic musicians who blended art with fashion.
WANT
MILES STYLE
Written by ANTHONY KIRBY Anthony T. Kirby is the Fashion & Lifestyle Editor for CODE M Magazine and has spent over 30 years in the menswear industry. He lives in Philadelphia, PA where he is the Creative Director for FINICKEY, an online men's haberdashery brand. (https:// finickey.us)
CODE M / NOVEMBER 2021 43
[ FASHION ]
I
’m not your typical jazz aficionado. I do enjoy listening, though, to the various eras of classic to contemporary jazz. I keep my Sirius XM locked into channel 67 Real Jazz. This is where I can listen to some of my favorite jazz artists like Quincy Jones, Nina Simone, Jimmy Smith, and Miles Davis. This is where I heard the piece “Jean-Pierre.” In this edition of Style & Substance, I’m featuring Miles Dewey Davis III. We would’ve celebrated his 95th birthday this year. Miles was born in Alton, Illinois in 1926. Born to a well-to-do family and raised in East St. Louis during the 1930s, Miles took to music at an early age and at the age of eighteen was accomplished enough to earn a scholarship to the prestigious Juilliard School in New York City. Miles was the epitome of cool. He was recently showcased on a PBS documentary Birth of the Cool. I was listening to one of his live albums, “We Want Miles” and it was the “Jean-Pierre” track on the album, long version, that captured my attention. This ignited my desire to do a little research on Miles’ style during the ‘50s and ‘60s. I particularly wanted to focus on his contribution to menswear. Miles was once quoted as saying, “I created a kind of hip, quasi-black English look: Brooks Brothers suits, butcher boy shoes, high top pants, shirts with high-tab collars that were so stiff with starch I could hardly move my neck.” A very well-dressed Miles in West Germany 1959, in a 2button and open-patch pocket, double-breasted suit, he pushed the boundaries of becoming a fashion icon. This represents one of his custom pieces from his personal tailor Joe Emsley who wardrobed Miles throughout the ‘60s. He took cues from movie stars like Fred Astaire and Cary Grant.
Miles Davis changed the way we listened to jazz. His influence is still impacting musicians today.
44 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
[ BUSINESS ]
CODE M / AUGUST 2021 33
[ BUSINESS FASHION ]]
A regular on the Newport Jazz circuit with his Ivy-league style, here’s Miles wearing a seersucker suit and yellow oxford banded collar. This picture is of Miles’ album cover for the 1958 Newport Jazz Festival, which featured John Coltrane and Cannonball Adderley. Davis’ iconic style featured here is from a recording session for his album “‘Round About Midnight'' in 1956. Two years prior, Miles walked into a preppy men’s haberdashery in Cambridge, Mass. called the Andover Shop looking for a new look. The late Charlie Davidson who owned the shop and was a fan of Miles, outfitted him in classic 3-button suits, buttondown oxford shirts, and diagonally striped repp ties. This was a preppy look popular with Harvard students. The essence of “casually cool,” Miles was never afraid to go beyond the boundaries in both his music and style. Miles was known for always making it a point to maintain a sharp and creative appearance. Miles’s legacy lives on both through his music and iconic style. Check out Miles Davis: Birth of Cool streaming on Netflix. His cool demeanor in “Ivy-League” style is seeing a rebirth today in menswear. ●
“It’s not about standing still and becoming safe. If anybody wants to keep creating, they have to be about change.” – Miles Davis
Davis used his fashion sense to compliment his music.
46 NOVEMBER 2021 / CODE M
