TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN
DR. CURVES
CREATES
NEW BODIES AND LIVES
PUTTING HIS BEST KICKS FORWARD
MIXED
CHILDREN
SUFFER FROM THE MIDDLE
WELLNESS FROM THE ROOT
BLESSINGS ARE FOUND WHEN ADOPTING
OCTOBER 2021 ISSUE
TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN
If you make the lives of men better, you make the world better!
SERVING CLEVELAND AND SURROUNDING OHIO CITIES: COLUMBUS TOLEDO CINCINNATI DAYTON YOUNGSTOWN
www.codemmagazine.com
INSIDE
21 BELIZE: NOT JUST A TROPICAL DESINATION Post-COVID traveling has never been more important, and Belize is the perfect destination to reconnect with what is important.
ON THE COVER
26
DR. CURVES CREATES NEW BODIES AND LIVES
11 MAN CODES Quotes by people of distinction. 16 MIXED CHILDREN SUFFER FROM THE MIDDLE
Plastic surgeon Andrew Jimerson II MD. has perfected the art of creating new
David Christel reviews the film Mixed premiering at the Greater Cleveland Film Commission (GCFC) directed by American University professors and bodies. But his patients will argue that he documentarians Caty Borum Chattoo has created far more new lives with his and Northeast Ohio native Leena excellent bedside manner. Jayaswal. 8 MOVERS AND SHAKERS Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!
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33 WELLNESS FROM THE ROOT Men are discovering a different option beyond prescribed medications and finding a healthier lifestyle.
38 BLESSINGS ARE FOUND WHEN ADOPTING For Black families, adoption could be the answer to finding the perfect family. 43 PUTTING HIS BEST KICKS FORWARD “Is better, better? Or is bigger better? Better is better, better quality; product, and service.” Timothy Roquemore
[ INSIDE ]
ADVERTISE WITH CODE M Men of color influence the latest trends of popular culture, fashion, and music more than any demographic. Reach this audience when you advertise with CODE M Magazine. Call 216-273-9400 to request a rate kit.
12 ORLANDO WATSON SPEAKS LIFE INTO HIS WORDS Cleveland native takes the spoken word and turns it into an amazing career.
TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN
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CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.
Code M Magazine is published by CODE MEDIA GROUP, LLC © 2021 All Rights Reserved
[ TRAVEL ]
CODE M / AUGUST 2021 9
MOVERS &
SHAKERS
J O E
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Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!
L I T T L E
[ MOVERS & SHAKERS ]
JOE LITTLE
MELTRICE SHARP
Joe Little just released a new single titled, “All of Me,” and is still touring the country with The Rude Boys.
Meltrice Sharp is the Managing Partner of the award-winning Cleveland Consulting Firm. An accounting professional with Big 4 and Fortune 500 experience in real estate, banking, manufacturing and healthcare industries Sharp’s firm is quickly becoming a powerhouse in Northeast Ohio.
Raised in East Cleveland, the Grammy and Billboard awardwinning song writer and producer makes Cleveland home when not on the road. The owner of Urbean Joe Coffee offers four blends to choose from. Learn more at www.urbeanjoe.coffee.
Devoted to developing programs including supplier diversity and procurement finance infrastructure, Sharp and her associates will continue to dominate the Cleveland landscape in
KEVIN THORNTON Kevin Thornton was named one of the “30 life coaches to watch in 2021.” In 2017 he began hosting his own internet radio show called the “Wellness Architect Show” and in that same year he published his first book titled 20 Beautiful Men. In December of 2020, Kevin co-authored his second book Waking Up Winning No Matter What that falls in line with what his purpose is: to inspire, educate and, empower others to create the best version of themselves mind, body, and spirit.
ELISE McCoy Elise McCoy is an artist, writer, and designer based in Cleveland, Ohio. She is a graduate of Parsons, 2002, Interior Design, and also holds a BSBA from The Ohio State University. She is a spiritualist whose work focuses primarily on raising the collective consciousness of the Earth and its inhabitants, leading to a higher collective vibration.
CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 9
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MAN CODES:
QUOTES BY PEOPLE OF DISTINCTION
“I found that with depression, one of the most important things you can realize is that you’re not alone. You’re not the first to go through it, you’re not gonna be the last to go through it.” -Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson “Mental health… is not a destination but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.” - Noam Shpancer “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” - Aristotle "Whenever you see a successful person you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them." - Vaibhav Shah "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars." - Khalil Gibran “If you have been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with a heart of an angel.” - Keanu Reeves "Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.” - Charles Bukowski
Compiled by Bilal S. Akram
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha "A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." - David Brinkley "Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting." – Anonymous “Change what you can, manage what you can’t.” - Raymond McCauley “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”- Winston Churchill “The experience I have had is that once you start talking about [experiencing a mental health struggle], you realize that actually you’re part of quite a big club.” — Prince Harry "It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." – Anonymous Psalm 58:16 But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. (NIV)
CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 11
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LIFE
CLE STRONG
ORLANDO
WATSON SPEAKS
Cleveland native takes the spoken word and turns it into an amazing career. by Brad Bowling
I
f you are a lover of the spoken word, then you most certainly will fall in love with Orlando Watson. The Cleveland, Ohio native has established himself as a preeminent lyricist who’s soulful, baritone voice is known to weave through words with uncanny rhythmic delivery. Northeast Ohio is quickly becoming a place where entertainers can grow and develop their talents. With the thriving art district and the ever-growing number of homegrown acts, Watson’s talent fits right at home in Cleveland.
LIFE
INTO HIS
WORDS
In 2015 Watson was awarded the prestigious “Kente Cloth” by the Office of Diversity & Inclusion at Ohio State University alongside acclaimed political commentator, Dr. Marc Lamont Hill. Watson's 2017 début EP (Everything’s Personal) peaked at #18 on iTunes R&B/Soul charts, which led him to open for Lalah Hathaway and Chantae Cann’s respective tours in 2018. Watson has recorded with Latin Grammy award winner Linda Briceño, John Clayton, Dominick Farinacci, Braxton Cook, Damien Sneed, and Bobby Sparks II of Snarky Puppy to name a few. “Our Voices: Democracy Revisited” suite, which was live-streamed on NPR’s “Jazz Night in America” hosted by acclaimed bassist Christian McBride. Watson was selected as 1 of the top 8 national finalists to compete at the 2019 “Jazz in the Gardens” poetry slam in Miami, Florida. His poetry has been published in Linden Avenue Literary Journal as well as CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 13
[ LIFE ] Five 2 One Magazine and he currently serves as the Associate Director for the Tri-C JazzFest in Cleveland, Ohio. The 2021 Tri-C JazzFest was held at Cain Park in Cleveland Heights. The two-night event highlighted some of Cleveland’s top jazz artists and showcased new talents that are emerging. With the current conditions we are living in, the beautiful outdoors of Cain Park was a perfect place to enjoy listening to Watson summarize the wonderful list of talent that blessed the stage at the JazzFest. He perfectly blended the introduction of each musician with their own solos as he closed the Festival. The sequence of talent that was introduced seemed to enjoy being described in a way that only Watson could do. Watson has a busy schedule for the remainder of the year. In November you can see Watson at the Gospel/Jazz Dinner Concert Series. If you would like to learn more about Orlando Watson, visit Orlando Watson Lyricist | Clinician | Narrator (wordsxwatson.com) ●
Orlando Watson is a native of Cleveland, Ohio and is quickly becoming a national figure.
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[ HEALTH ]
CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 15
FILM
MIXED
David Christel reviews the film, Mixed, premiering at the Greater Cleveland Film Commission (GCFC), directed by American University professors and documentarians Caty Borum Chattoo and Northeast Ohio native Leena Jayaswal.
CHILDREN SUFFER FROM THE MIDDLE
Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.
M
ixed race, bi-racial, multiethnic, multi-racial — these are all terms used to define, label, and categorize people so that our world resembles some kind of organized reality. The truth is that no such thing really exists, and that reality is a malleable cornucopia of diversity and color. Despite that, many people still want a world they can count on to present a picture of normalcy within which to function. That includes determining someone’s ethnic background in order to fit within a color-coded system of racial types that make us feel com-
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fortable in our own skin and, subsequently, with theirs. This presents a problem for mixed-race children navigating a world struggling with race issues, history, and identity. “You constantly have people not knowing where to put you, not understanding when you don’t fit into any buckets.” These are the words of a mixed-race young woman caught in the in-between world of bi-racial complexity. As with any person, she just wants to be accepted for
Leena Jayaswal and Caty Borum Chattoo, both parents of mixed-race children.
[ FILM ]
who she is, to not be judged and slotted into a category according to her skin color. Documentarians Leena Jayaswal and Caty Borum Chattoo, both parents of mixed-race children, have dealt with their children constantly caught in the “What are they?” dilemma. Leena and Caty’s new film MIXED, premiering at the Chagrin Documentary Film Festival October 5 – 8, explores how mixed race is perceived and lived with in to-
day’s America of high racial tensions. Leena and Caty — professors at American University who have extensive experience in documentary filmmaking, photography, and television — state that they “want to help shift the narrative of the ‘exotic’ or that mixed-race people will end racism. And to celebrate all the good things that come with being mixed race.” Ultimately, the film underscores CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 17
[ FILM ]
Both directors come from racially diverse families.
“identity,” something every person must come to terms with, though mixed-race individuals have the added dimension of merging the attributes of their multiethnic background with societal conventions and trends, as well as conflicts. Leena and Caty point out that there is nothing clear cut about the subject and that even siblings within a single family will identify differently from each other and face different experiences. Part of the impetus behind MIXED is to not only address the issues surrounding mixed race, but to find ways of expanding the narrative around it and give parents ideas for helping their kids with the formation of their identities. Both Leena and Caty support not forcing a child to choose one parent’s racial identity over another. They advocate giving young people the supportive space to explore their world on their own terms. For instance, Caty’s
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daughter has found comedic ways to answer, “What are you?” A young man in the film jokingly calls himself a “hybrid.” MIXED highlights the varied experiences of kids, young adults and parents, cultural differences, and mixed-race representation in the media. What state one lives in, their community and city, how they are raised, and national events are integral to the conversation surrounding mixed race. No matter how discomforting, those discussions need to be pursued. Leena and Caty explain about MIXED: “Race is tough, it’s not easy to talk about and we hope our film will be a baby step for those wanting to have those conversations. We want to do community screenings for outreach to start these conversations.”
Since beginning work on the documentary, Leena and Caty have seen greater mixed-race representation showing up, especially on television where shows like Never Have I Ever and Mixed-ish have introduced the topic as a regular part of their storylines. So, the conversations are occurring in all corners of American life. As we’re all acutely aware, race and racism are still prevalent in our socalled “post-racial America.” The fact is, America has a deep cultural ambivalence about its rapidly changing mixedrace reality and MIXED is perfectly timed to continue bringing this subject
The film team discovered a bond while working on the documentary.
to the forefront of American discourse.
[ FILM ]
So, come join the Greater Cleveland Film Commission (GCFC) as they host Leena and Caty for the MIXED Cleveland Premiere & Community Conversations around their new documentary! ●
Scouting locations to film the documentary.
CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 19
[ HISTORY ]
The Burdens of the Elite, by Keith Curry.
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TRAVEL
BELIZE: NOT JUST
A TROPICAL DESTINATION
C
ruising may be the best way to visit some Caribbean nations. For those places, the few hours spent ashore while in port are sufficient to allow you to make the most of the best features of those primarily island nations. But not all Caribbean nations are islands, And Belize is the best example of that. Uniquely positioned as the gateway to both the Caribbean and Central America, it sits at the northernmost end of the
Post-COVID traveling has never been more important, and Belize is the perfect destination to reconnect with what is important.
western shores of the Caribbean Sea. That geographical positioning has been partially responsible for its distinctive mix of features visitors find most attractive. There was a time when Belize was the best kept secret among the diving community. While those days are long gone, a new secret about Belize continues to be held close to the vest. The most recent stats from the Belize tourism board (2019) show that arrivals totaled almost 1,171,000 on cruise ships, and just under
half of that at 503,000 were overnight visitors. Those overnighters know something they are not sharing with cruisers. It is impossible to truly appreciate those features during the few hours ashore that are allowed while on a cruise. If you want to really appreciate Belize, book an overnight trip preferably for at least a week. Interview a few visitors as they depart for home and they will tell you just how happy they are that they CODE M/M OCTOBER CODE / APRIL 2021 2021 21 19
[ TRAVEL ] didn’t take a cruise. Some will even admit that their initial visit to Belize was on a cruise and they simply had to come back to spend a few days enjoying a more immersive experience. When we think about overnighters, we generally envision vacationers with a suitcase or two coming to relax, have a good time, and create some lifelong memories. It’s time to recognize a different type of overnighter. Is Belize a land of secrets? Absolutely! But those secrets readily reveal themselves to those who do a little research, investigation, or exploration. But you won’t even have to do any of that to learn this next secret. I’m willingly sharing it with you free of charge. Belize is an excellent location for film production! A few production companies having been slowly learning that secret. Well, now the cat is out of the bag. The sheer variety of locations and conditions make it the ideal
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one-stop-shop from a pre-production and production standpoint. And plans are underway to make it a state-of-the-art post production location as well.
in the country.”
He believes that filmmakers are lining up to come because it is in their best interest in oh-so-many ways. The country is Nigel Miguel, the Belize Film Commission- less than two hours from Miami, emer for almost the last decade is focused ployees are available and affordable, on building the film industry in Belize. unique and varied locations are readily Many of you may have seen him in popu- accessible, and the primary language is lar movies like White Men Can’t Jump, English. Beyond that, the government is Colors, The Air Up There, etc. Some may supportive of the industry and legislaknow him from the NBA, and prior to that tion is being pursued that will enable the his years playing basketball at UCLA and government to offer financial incentives becoming the MVP when they won the that will make the country even more NIT. Mr. Miguel, a native son of Belize, competitive and attractive to foreign continued his active involvement in the filmmakers. Hollywood community and the profesBuilding the knowledge base is an intesional sports world after returning home gral part of developing and expanding to Belize. He says, “The film industry is the industry. To that end, Mr. Miguel the only one that impacts almost every and the Film Commission have teamed other industry, and so it is incredibly imup with Galen University (the largest portant to the economy of Belize to deprivate university in Belize) to develop a velop and sustain a vibrant film industry film and media school. The online ver-
[ COVER ]
CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 23
[ TRAVEL ] sion was launched in the second quarter of 2021. Plans for the building that will house the film school have already been approved, and they hope to break ground later this year. Belize even has its own film festival and that is being developed and expanded in parallel. Film tourism, which is already a thing in Belize is now expanding beyond just filming on location to remaining there until it is in the can, (at a lower cost than anywhere else), to coming to Belize to study filmmaking. The online courses have had an overwhelming response so far (those classes are being taught by Hollywood luminaries). Of course, the movies and popular TV shows that have already been filmed in Belize over the years also contribute to film tourism as visitors come to see and stay at some of the hotels and resorts where they have been filmed. So, if you are considering Belize as a future location for your film project, you might want to look no further than the Jewel, as the locals call it. Come and find out why they call it that. And then stay a bit longer after you wrap to enjoy the best of multiple worlds. I guarantee you will not regret it. And if for some reason you are still on the fence after reading this, feel free to reach out to the office of the Belize Film Commissioner. The friendly staff will be more than happy to provide all the info you request. You can reach them at filmbelize@hotmail.com. ●
Belize offers some of the best locations to relax and enjoy your time off.
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[ COVER ]
CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021
25
COVER
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[ COVER ]
DR. CURVES
CREATES
NEW
BODIES AND LIVES Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.
Plastic surgeon Andrew Jimerson II MD. has perfected the art of creating new bodies. But his patients will argue that he has created far more new lives with his excellent bedside manner.
CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 27
[ COVER ]
Dr. Jimerson has one of the most-respected plastic surgery practices in Atlanta.
A
long with the thirst to watch reality TV came the thirst to perfect one’s body. As more and more everyday people became famous for doing nothing, their desire to look better came right along with it. Social media wasn’t far behind. So, when Dr. Andrew Jimerson decided to practice plastic surgery, little did he know that he would be at the right place, at the right time.
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Born in Cleveland Heights, the Hawken High School grad didn’t discover a love for his craft until his third year of medical school. “I stumbled into plastic surgery when I found out just how creative I could be. It suited my personality. I could create, it was surgery, and I could work with a wide range of people all at the same time,” Jimerson said. The plastic surgery industry has grown in
popularity and continues to grow every year. A new report from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) reveals that Americans spent more than $16.5 billion on cosmetic plastic surgery and minimally invasive procedures in 2018, a four percent increase from the previous year. African Americans are no different. The American Society for Aesthetic
[ COVER ] Plastic Surgery reports that cosmetic augmentation among Black people increased 56 percent between 2005 and 2013. According to the 2016 report, Black people accounted for 8 percent of all procedures in the US — that’s double the percentage from 1997. Black people make up only about 12 percent of the overall population of the United States, which underlines the significance of these plastic-surgery statis-
are dentists and one is an attorney.” Coming from such an accomplished family, Jimerson was exposed early to taking risks and being his own boss. As his practice started to get noticed, he became affectionately known as Dr. Curves by his patients. Now, Dr. Curves and his practice are home to all of Atlanta’s elite and he’s
“We were offered, at one point, to have our own show, but I wanted to keep the focus on changing lives with what we do so we decided that it would not fit with our current business model,” Jimerson said. The Morehouse graduate likes the current pace of his business. The office had to make swift changes when COVID-19 happened. The com-
new report from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) reveals that Americans spent more than $16.5 billion on cosmetic plastic surgery and minimally invasive procedures in 2018, a four percent increase from the previous year. tics. For Jimerson, that explosive growth, along with Black women’s desire to have a more chiseled body, led to a demand for his services, and therefore his opportunity to perfect his craft. Jimerson can take a soft, unattractive body and turn it into a masterpiece. A body full of curves and shape are what women want and what social media has made the norm.
attracting clients from all over the country. Jimerson has appeared on numerous television shows and has been offered the opportunity to have his own show.
pany had to lay off fifty employees when the government shut the country down. That forced Jimerson and his reduced team to find a way to remain open until he could resume
Based in Atlanta, Jimerson launched his first surgery center in 2008. The son of a doctor, he always knew he would follow in the footsteps of his father at an early age. “He had his own practice, and my mother is a nurse practitioner, so we lived and breathed in the medical field growing up.” “When I was growing up, my sisters and I always knew that we were going to do something close to what our parents did,” Jimerson continued. “Two of my sisters
When not working Dr. Jimerson enjoys spending time with his family and fishing.
CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 29
[ LIFE ]
doing surgeries. “During that downtime, it gave me a chance to do a deeper dive into my practice,” Jimerson explained. “I developed some new processes for my business and created the software that we use as the framework on how we operate today, so the pandemic was bittersweet.” Jimerson has always had a passion for giving back. The practice often helps with donations and time for Sickle Cell Anemia, and Jimerson would like to give back and mentor young Black men in the future. Coming up, Jimerson is in the final stages of growing the practice from one office to two. “We are in the process of creating a second surgery center. This will give other doctors, who would like a chance to grow their practice, the opportunity to do so,” Jimerson said. The Cleveland native plans to return home in November is join his extended family at Thanksgiving. For those that are looking for a new look and for those who need a doctor they can trust, you can turn to Dr. Curves and get both at the same time.
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CODE M / JULY 2021 31
FASHION
[ FASHION ]
STARTING FROM
HEAD TO TOE: REBUILDING
YOUR
WARDROBE
101
32 AUGUST 2021 / CODE M
health
WELLNESS FROM THE ROOT Men are discovering a different option beyond prescribed medications and finding a healthier lifestyle.
Written by Dr. Johny R. Tice Dr. Johnny R. Tice is a Clinical Assistant Professor at The University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa)-Capstone College of Nursing and serves as the Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner Concentration Coordinator.
CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 33
[ LIFE ]
[ LIFE ] [ LIFE ]
34 SEPTEMBER 2021 / CODE M
Reconnect with your inner spirit to find more balance and consistency in life.
[ HEALTH [ LIFE ]
A
t some point or another, you’ve been seen by a healthcare provider and more than likely “prescribed” a medication to treat some sort of health condition … right? Well, did you know that there is perhaps an herbal medicine or “natural remedy” that could have been used as a treatment alternative or complement? What I am referring to is “herbal medicine,” which is a nonprescription form of medicine derived from plant sources including: leaves, stems, flowers, seeds, and roots. Herbal medicine dates back well over 5,000 years and has become more prevalent over the last fifty years.
Sexual Function Support Gingko Biloba Maca Ginseng Sleep Support Black Cohosh Nutmeg Valerian
Many frequently prescribed medications today have plant-based or herbal origin including aspirin (from willow bark), digoxin (from foxglove), and morphine (from the opium poppy). Recently, herbal medicine has been highlighted in the prevention and treatment of the novel COVID-19 virus with such herbal tinctures as elderberry, ginger, and turmeric. As African American men, we carry some staggering negative health statistics, such as the lowest life expectancy and highest cancer death rates of all ethnic groups. Similarly, we die the most from heart disease, cancer and accidents that, in many cases, can be mitigated through better individual health practices. Exploring the health benefits and use of herbal medicine can be a
Cardiovascular Health Support Garlic Hawthorn Grape Seed
Mental Health Support St. Johns Whort Lemon Balm Kava Kava
General Immune Support Black Elderberry Echinacea Marigold CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 35
FASHION
[ FASHION ]
TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN www.codemmagazine.com
SUBSCRIBE TODAY
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[ HEALTH ] first step in achieving and maintaining better health. A wide range of common conditions can be treated and managed with herbal medicines from minor aches and pains to chronic conditions such as asthma, high blood pressure, depression, and diabetes. Furthermore, herbal medicines can be used to support wellness and prevent illness from viruses such as those that cause the common cold, seasonal allergies, different types of cancers, and maintenance of mental and digestive health. (See Chart) While there are numerous health benefits from the use of herbal medicines, it’s important to know herbal medicines can cause unpleasant side effects such as mild to moderate rashes, headache, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea but are usually non-life-threating and in many cases diminish after initial use. Because herbal medicines can interact when taken with other prescription and over the counter (OTC) medications, as a rule of thumb, it’s always a good idea to discuss any herbal medicine(s) of interest with a healthcare provider before taking them. Herbal medicine use should always be reported when a medication usage profile is collected from you by a healthcare provider. The US Department of Health and Human Services has two great sources of information related to herbal medicines: 1) The National Institutes of Health: Office of Dietary Supplements, and 2) National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health. These two resources provide in-depth information such as fact sheets with background information and the previously mentioned side effect profiles related to herbal and other supplemental treatments. Healthier practices start with you and it is time to make healthy living a priority. I challenge you to you to take this information to devise a plan to live a longer, healthier life and I ask that you share this information with your family, friends, and others in your community. With this knowledge and insight, you have the ability to not only improve your health but to advance the overall health of the African American male. Now is the time to act — here’s to your good health! ●
CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 37
FAMILY
BLESSINGS ARE FOUND WHEN ADOPTING For Black families, adoption could be the answer to finding the perfect family.
I
t’s commonly known that we men don’t usually open up about our feelings as much a women do. We experience love and loss, triumph and turmoil, yet our significant others, children, and parents feel we don’t talk to them about important aspects of our lives. Something I share openly is that I am adopted — born by two parents, raised by two others. You wouldn’t know I’m an adopt-
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Written by DAMON DAVIS Host of the Who Am I Really? podcast (www.whoamireallypodcast.com)Author of Who Am I Really – An Adoptee Memoir Instagram: @WAIReally
ed person to look at my family — my mother, Veronica, is a lighter-skinned African American woman, my dad, Willie, was a darker-skinned man of the same race, and my skin tone is between theirs, so I look like I could be their son. I love my parents deeply and I wouldn’t change a thing about my life. We are family thanks to our lived experience, but we share no genetic relation. When I was thirty-six years old, my wife, Michele, gave birth to our son, Seth, introducing me to the first blood relative I had ever known — making him extra special to me. He was the first known branch on a genetic family tree I hadn’t thought much about. His birth drove home the fact that
[ BUSINESS ]
As companies become more aware of diversity, Blacks are taking advantage and gaining in executive positions.
CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 39
[ FAMILY ]
three decades before, a woman had given birth to me, she and her family were out in the world somewhere, and I had no idea who they were or where to find them. I was energized to search for my birth family and to gather any information I could obtain about why I was placed for adoption. One of the fallacies of masculinity is that men should not show emotions. It’s not “manly” to be vulnerable, so we suppress our emotions, which can be more stressful than we realize. But opening up about our lives as adoptees may be is exactly what we need to get over what’s eating away at us from the inside. Confronting how we’re feeling, and the effects of our childhood experiences might be the healthy change we need to positively impact who we are. I knew that launching an adoption reunion search could be a deeply moving experience, but I had no idea it would be such a deeply emotional journey. After a short search, my Baltimore City social worker, Lee, revealed she had shared my introductory letter to my birth mother, Ann, when she found her after a short search. I was ecstatic! Ann had written me a reply letter sharing that she had always prayed for me, never forgotten me, and always hoped I would find her. By the
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time Lee was finished reading Ann’s words over the phone, my eyes overflowed with tears of joy and relief to know that I made the right decision to search for my roots. My mind raced with the possibilities for our reunion. When I spoke to Ann that night and I learned she worked close to my office in Washington, DC and confirmed her birthday was the very next day, I knew I had to surprise her with a reunion visit from the son she gave birth to but never saw. The next day I appeared at her office in a suit and tie. We held one another in a tearful embrace and began healing from thirty-six years of love and loss. I was standing before the womn who brought me into the world, and my face and demeanor mirrored hers. We developed a wonderful relationship and she was open about the story of my conception and revealed my birth father’s identity without hesitation. I didn’t look for him until after she passed away, six years after our reunion. When I found the man she named, we had no rapport, the relationship felt uncomfortable and forced, and he eventually cut off our connection. He didn’t get involved
[ FAMILY ] when Ann told him she was pregnant in 1972, so when he severed ties with me, it was a secondary rejection and a low point of despair in my journey. However, in an unexpected and fortuitous twist, my AncestryDNA results revealed that the man Ann had named, whom I had found, was not my birth father. A wonderful new guy named Bill was revealed to be the other half of my parentage. Not every adopted person has such a charming story to share. I’ve spoken to hundreds of adoptees on my podcast “Who Am I Really?” where adoptees share their journeys through adoption and their attempt at reunion with their birth family. The gender split of my guests is about 70 percent women to 30 percent men, a disproportional under-representation of the adoptee community that deserves to be heard — male adoptees need to and should be supporting one another. Our adoption stories vary widely from loving adoptions and awful reunions, to sad, tragic adoptions with incredible reunions, and every combination therein. Some people are driven to search for their birth family while others are petrified to open their life’s box of secrets. Many are perfectly content with the adopted life they’ve lived; they cherish their adoptive family and don’t feel the need to search for something that’s not missing from their life. Everyone’s adoption experience is different, but they’re all similar in their emotional draw on the adopted person. I respect and empa-
thize with every adopted person’s desire to search and reunite, or not to do so and leave their origin story in the past. For me, accidentally finding Bill was a remarkable stroke of luck. I had resigned myself to never meeting my birth father when commercially available DNA testing linked us together. When I finally got on the phone with Bill, he listened intently as I shared the story of how we were connected. I was sure to convey that I didn’t want anything from him except to know the man who contributed to my life. When we finally met, Bill, who was in his mid-eighties, hugged me tightly. I never lacked for love, affection, or connection with my adopted parents, so I never could have guessed that meeting Ann and Bill would fill voids that I didn’t even know I had. Today, I’m so fortunate to have a podcast where adoptees share their stories for the benefit of other adopted people. But I would love to hear from more men, and especially men of color. For those of you who have been thinking quietly about your adoption or your biological family, I’m inviting you to find a place where you’re comfortable sharing what you’re thinking and feeling. Facebook forums like I Am Adoption, Black Adoptees, and Adoption Search & Reunion are full of adopted people offering support, advice, and search and reunion resources to one another. There are podcasts you can listen too like Who Am I Really?, Adoptees On, Black To The Beginning, and more. There is a
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[ BUSINESS ] growing volume of adoption-focused books and adoptee memoirs to read about the intimate details of other adoptees’ journeys. Social media is ablaze with hashtags to follow like #AdopteeVoices that will open a new world for you. Try listening to the experiences of other adoptees to hear what they’ve lived through, understand how they’ve persevered, and gain insights into how they’re moving on with their lives after addressing curiosity about their adoption. There’s a dearth of male adoptee voices speaking out to candidly share their adoption perspective, but I know there are so many stories to tell. Adoptees often say how positively cathartic it is to finally speak honestly about their life with another adopted person, like me, who can empathize with their feelings. There’s healing in finding your truth, sharing your story, and connecting with others about adoption. I hope you’ll take the time to find your connection to the adoptee community and lend your male perspective to the evolving adoption narrative. I encourage you to re-examine your thoughts about your adoption and any feelings you have about starting a reunion search. Expressing your emotions to other adoptees, loved ones and friends demonstrates personal growth, inner strength, and a commitment to owning your life’s narrative. Confronting the truth about your life and how it has made you feel is one of the most powerful things a man can do. ●
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PUTTING HIS BEST KICKS
FASHION
FORWARD
“Is better, better? Or is bigger better? Better is better, better quality, product, and service.” – Timothy Roquemore
Written by ANTHONY KIRBY Anthony T. Kirby is the Fashion & Lifestyle Editor for CODE M Magazine and has spent over 30 years in the menswear industry. He lives in Philadelphia, PA where he is the Creative Director for FINICKEY, an online men's haberdashery brand. (https:// finickey.us)
W
here does one’s creative inspiration come from? It can be those in your circle or a product idea that hasn’t come to market. The Timothy Roquemore footwear brand was the creative inspiration. A luxury footwear brand founded in 2008, that raised the bar on a product we’ve worn for decades sneakers but partnering with the best artisans in Italy using generations of footwear making and exclusive leathers and colors to create his eponymous brand of footwear. CODE M / OCTOBER 2021 43
[ FASHION ] This is how Tim went from concept to creativity. During the early 90's as a junior high student, Tim’s pastime was watching movies like American Gigolo, The Untouchables, and Wall Street that captured the great periods of men’s dress. A seed of creativity was just getting planted for Tim. His creative inspiration started in the home. Born and raised in Houston, Texas, his father was another source of inspiration: a hardworking man who worked multiple jobs. It was his father’s dressing for those jobs wherein Tim took note of his father’s style in presenting himself well-attired. Clothing was paramount in the family household. His dad would take him to some of the best menswear shops around town like Norton Ditton and Sakowitz, exposing him to well-made and tailored clothing. The experience immersed Tim in exploring more about menswear by reading Esquire and GQ magazine’s fashion editorials and watching fashion news shows. This was his calling. During high-school, Tim’s sights were set on how to take his desire of getting into the fashion industry from Houston to New York City. He knew he had to go where the best is. In NYC, you had the best fashion schools to educate you about the industry. Tim had to be very methodical in his journey. It was the very competitive Fashion Institute of Technology that would give him the educational tools he sought. Unfortunately, his application to attend F.I.T. wasn’t accepted on his first try, but a school counselor guided him to areas of study that finally got him accepted into F.I.T. He received degrees in Patternmaking Technology and Marketing Communications. In 2001 he was working retail for Ralph Lauren where he started at the iconic Rhinelander Mansion on 72nd & Madison Avenue working in various positions before joining the executive training program and then becoming part of the Visual Merchandising team. After years at Ralph Lauren, Timothy started his brand while transitioning to working for Italian luxury brand Loro Piana. For vacations, Timothy would travel to Italy to source and be exposed to the generations of Italian designers and manufacturers of menswear collections. This is where the journey started for Tim defining his own brand. “What could make or break a great outfit?” It was footwear. Tim had observed men wearing suits with running shoes. Once they reached the office, they would change into their hard-soled dress shoes. “I started tweaking the idea of creating a dressier sneaker that could be worn daily with a man’s workday attire.” The concept would be a clean, elegant, and use great quality leathers. Tim knew Italy, would be the best place to have high-end quality sneakers made. The one thing that was challenging Tim was:
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[ BUSINESS ]
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[ BUSINESS FASHION ]] Where and who in Italy could make his collection? He had recently read a TIME magazine article on Diego Della Valle, the founder of Tod’s leather goods company. In the article, Diego mentioned that between 80% – 90% of Italian footwear is made in the LaMarche region of Italy. This is where Tim decided to focus on identifying an Italian manufacturer. The research and development process was an extensive 3year search in which Tim partnered up with Italian Trade Commission to reach out to factories interested in creating his first collection. Most of the factories he contacted were only making dress and casual shoes; no one was making a luxury lifestyle sneaker. Tim eventually found a manufacturer who was willing to make a dress sneaker. His initial sample collection consisted of styles made of suede, leather, and velvet. He used men’s clothing cloth to give it more of an apparel feel. There was also a patent-leather version that could be worn with black tie. The Timothy Roquemore collection was one of the first in the space of luxe sneakers as an independent brand and adopted by other brands. You’ll notice that every designer collection now has a version of a luxury sneaker. Tim’s business model for his footwear brand lowered the barrier of entry through made-to-order. It’s direct-to-consumer through crowd sourcing. On his site, the products are made exclusively and in limited-edition for which clients have an allotted time to order. Once the sneaker has reached its maximum number of orders, the ordering is closed. His clientele following is not your typical brand-name followers. They’re looking for something personalized to their individual style and taste level. The Roquemore collection, being a sustainable and customized brand, has sights on product expansion into small leather goods, totes, laces, and hosiery. These are great companions for his sneaker brand. Check his site out and fall in love! ● TIMOTHY ROQUEMORE https://timothyroquemore.com IG: timothyroquemore
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