2022 FEBRUARY ISSUE

LIVING IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE: PART III

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

BLACKS ARE UNDER ATTACK IN AMERICA

CHEATING TO FILL THE VOID

BLACK

LEADERS:

WHERE HAVE THEY GONE? CELEBRATING HISTORIC CLEVELAND LEADERS

OUR CHILDREN ARE CHOOSING THEIR OWN LEADERS IN THE ABSENCE OF ANY

CARL SANDIFER LEADS NASA INTO THE FUTURE

FEBRUARY 2022 ISSUE

INSIDE

32

BLACKS ARE UNDER ATTACK IN AMERICA For over 400 years, Blacks have been under attack in America. 2022 seems to be no different as Blacks are under siege from all angles.

ON THE COVER

26

BLACK LEADERS: WHERE HAVE THEY GONE? Will the meaning of Black History Month change in thirty years when we look back at

10 MAN CODES

Olivet Baptist Church.

Quotes by Sidney Poitier.

18 CELEBRATING HISTORIC CLEVELAND LEADERS: PART II

12 CLEVELAND STRONG: CHANGING THE CULTURE OF THE ARTS

Cleveland is known for having the second largest theater district in the US. If E.B. Smith has his way, the quality of the performances will 2022 and realize that we have no national make it the best place to see a play.

Black leadership?

14 CELEBRATING HISTORIC 8 MOVERS AND SHAKERS CLEVELAND LEADERS Get to know people who are making a We celebrate Black History Month by difference in their careers and changing profiling Reverend Odie M. Hoover, a the world! pioneer for Cleveland and Second

Al-Hajj Wali Akram was an inventor and community leader who eventually would become one of the most influential people in Cleveland history.

22 CARL SANDIFER II LEADS NASA INTO THE FUTURE The NASA Glenn Research Center has always played a significant role in the space program. With Carl E. Sandifer II at the helm, NASA is set to reach Mars and beyond.

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 3

[ INSIDE ]

43 STYLE & SUBSTANCE: SIDNEY POITIER, MEASURE OF A MAN

37

SURVIVING A SEXLESS MARRIGE: PART III Even in the happiest of marriages infidelity can be found. But the reasons that men and women cheat are completely different.

“You ask me questions that fall continually within the ‘negroness’ of my life. I am artist, man, American, contemporary. I am an awful lot of things, so I wish you would pay me the respect due and not simply ask me about those things.”

47 THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR GREAT PANTS Anyone who loves fashion understands that there are levels to it when it comes to looking good. Wearing the right pants sets the tone for the right encounter.

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

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CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.

Code M Magazine is published

by CODE MEDIA GROUP, LLC © 2021 All Rights Reserved

[ TRAVEL ]

CODE M / AUGUST 2021 9

MOVERS &

SHAKERS

A M A N D A 8 FEBRUARY 2022 / CODE M

Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

W I L L I A M S

[ MOVERS & SHAKERS ] AMANDA WILLIAMS

ARNOLD HINES

Amanda Williams has developed a process to help women grow and maintain their hair. With 27 years of experience, the versatile stylist has mastered the art of cosmetology with a variety of hair extensions, haircuts, and hair coloring techniques that have won her attention and praise from her industry.

Arnold Hines began his career as an event planner nearly 20 years ago. An east coast transplant, it didn’t take Arnold long to figure out that his knack for networking could easily translate into a flourishing business.

Known as @Amandathestylist, her original line of hair care products helps women of color keep and grow their hair by offering them options designed just for them. To schedule an appointment, you can visit www.amandathestylist.com or call 1.440.230.3606

Arnold launched Word of Mouth Promotions and quickly established himself as Cleveland's premier party promoter. Over the years, Arnold has thrown some of Cleveland's most talked-about special events and most consistently running weekly.

CHINENYE NKEMERE Chinenye (ChiChi) is a strategic thinker. She has over 10 years of experience in community engagement, asset building, and advocacy. She holds a Bachelors in Political Science and African Studies and African American Studies from The Ohio State University with a focus on race and electoral politics.

She continued advocacy work as a Teach for America educator in Houston, Texas serving Title 1 middle school students and their families.

She remains dedicated to progressive and radically inclusive equity in all spaces and for all peoples as the co-founder and Director of Strategy for Enlightened Solutions - a systems change research firm. ChiChi currently sits on the board of Preterm Ohio and The Assembly for the Arts and is an active Junior League of Cleveland member.

EDWIN HUBBARD, JR. Edwin Hubbard Jr. is a Cleveland native and graduated from the Maxine Goodman Levin College of Urban Affairs at Cleveland State University. His passion for his community and commitment to giving back led Edwin to the world of non-profit work early in his career.

Since earning his Bachelor of Arts in Nonprofit Management, Edwin has spent nearly a decade serving non-profits, including the Children’s Defense Fund, Boy Scouts of America Greater Cleveland Council, the American Heart Association, The Akron Urban League, and the Better Business Bureau of Akron.

Edwin not only has a long history of serving the community, but he also has a passion for improving the lives of underserved populations.

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 9

10 FEBRUARY 2022 / CODE M

Sidney Poitier

MAN CODES:

QUOTES BY SIDNEY POITIER Compiled by Bilal S. Akram

“Living consciously involves being genuine; it involves listening and responding to others honestly and openly; it involves being in the moment.”

“When you walk with someone, something unspoken happens. Either you match their pace or they match yours.

“We all have a capacity for love, for kindness, for passion.

We also have a capacity for the opposite, but love is infinitely more effective in the world than hate, although they exist as equal opposites.”

“I never had an occasion to question color, therefore, I only saw myself as what I was… a human being.”

“My mother chose to teach me that sometimes gratification has to be delayed.”

“We’re all somewhat courageous, and we’re all considerably cowardly. We’re all imperfect, and life is simply a perpetual, unending struggle against those imperfections.”

“A man the South African government evidently thought too dangerous to be free, but also by then too prominent to be killed.”

“I set my star so high that I would constantly be in motion toward it.”

“In my case, the body of work stands for itself… I think my work has been representative of me as a man.”

“As a society, we have grown to prefer the easy over the difficult, the quick over the slow, the cheap over the costly— and those choices are not often to the benefit of nature.”

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 11

E

.B. Smith, Director of Artistic Inclusion at the Cleveland Play House, is in a unique position wearing multiple hats, that of actor, director, and administrator. Few artists consider taking on all three positions at the same time, but in these challenging times requiring the dismantling of old systems, perceptions, and values, transformation and evolution are obligatory — even in the theater world.

The performing arts are, beyond just mere entertainment, a means by which society and culture can reflect upon itself. That can’t happen when the internal structures that produce that art either blindly or purposefully marginalize and de-value specific people and groups to control the narrative. That control has seeped into every aspect of the arts, institutionalized it in what can only be termed as racism.

E.B. Smith.

CHANGING

THE

CULTURE OF THE

CLE STRONG

ARTS

Cleveland is known for having the second largest theater district in the US. If E.B. Smith has his way, the quality of the performances will make it the best place to see a play.

Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

16 12 OCTOBER FEBRUARY2021 2022//CODE CODEMM

What we as audience members see and experience through the arts impacts and influences our worldview, our very sense of identity. Most of us are completely unaware of the fact that our “view” has been slanted and even adulterated. Through decades of change has helped bring some understanding to this situation, much still needs to be done. Shifting the structure and narrative is what E.B. is focused on through his work on stage and behind the scenes.

As E.B. explained, “When I started to do more of the hands-on administrative work, it became really clear to me that it wasn’t just blindness. It was actually trauma. Racism infects all of us. It’s not just representation on stage or representation on the frontlines of the industry. It’s a result of attitudes that are both ideological, systemic, and institutional at the root. We must find ways to bring a focus back to the health of the people within the organization.”

At the heart of E.B.’s drive is connection. “If we’re honest with ourselves, that needs to be the focus of every administrator in every industry. It’s going in and caring for people, not just saying, ‘Here’s your benefits package’ but asking, ‘What do you need to find a healthy outlook on the community we’re part of? How do I materially support someone in terms of their mental health? How do we make sure that in coming to work, a person knows they’re valued?’” Understanding how to acknowledge the history of people’s

relationship to these organizations is a crucial part of that connective journey.

E.B. points out that current administrative practices in the arts have been designed with consideration for one specific group of people, according to a white supremacist, patriarchal paradigm — it’s exclusionary and exploitive. With the extraordinary events, our country has dealt with in just the last couple of years, the depth, breadth, and long-standing trauma of racism is finally being recognized on a level never experienced before.

We can now see how racism has seeped into every facet of American life, our communication avenues, language, behaviors — and how that has been manifested in the arts. Hence, the need for getting to the root of this through how the arts approach art-making.

“We’ve allowed the theater to become commodified in really unhelpful ways,” E.B. said. “It has to do with the fact that our art has become devalued culturally and reduced to a capitalistic product. And that putting butts in seats is our primary focus, which means you give the people what they want, not what they need. When we venture into the territory of trying to sell our art as a product as opposed to making it a cultural technology for healing our communities, we’re on a dangerous path.”

And that’s part of the challenge with the arts — survival. It’s an age-old struggle: artistry & artistic integrity versus budgets & box office. Throw systemic racism into the mix along with social upheaval and the arts are in a prime position to help “evolutionize” the industry.

“Here at the Play House, we’re building a huge training mechanism called the Equitable Artistic Practices Team. What we’re doing is facilitating monthly discussion groups, trying to keep the conversation alive as regularly as possible so that it becomes acculturated, something that is just built into what we do.”

E.B. explained that one of the bright spots of the Play House is that there is a lot of engagement with education in the city.

One of the things he’d love to see is for that education work to be more closely aligned with artistic work. He’d also like to see connections deepened, to become more substantive with more artist development in the city and worldwide.

“My goal is to be able to be in a position where I can cultivate an organizational culture that can make art healthily, that it can be a healing practice. I think if you pursue those opportunities that are in alignment, you can’t go wrong.” ●

The Cleveland theater district is the 2nd largest district second only to Broadway in New York City.

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 13

CELEBRATING HISTORIC CLEVELAND LEADERS We celebrate Black History Month by profiling Reverend Odie M. Hoover, a pioneer for Cleveland and Second Olivet Baptist Church.

by David Christel

Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. , Carl B Stokes, and Rev. Odie M Hoover.

1

921 was an auspicious year. It was the year Babe Ruth hit his 138th home run breaking the 23-year home-run record held by Roger Connor. The Emergency Quota Act was passed to limit the number of immigrants allowed to come to the US. It was also the year of the Tulsa Race Massacre, and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated in Arlington National Cemetery. That year also saw the birth of Odie M. Hoover on September 21 in the rural town of Bell Buckle, down the road a piece from Nashville and Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Odie was blessed with several innate gifts including a marvelous singing voice and the ability to easily endear himself to anyone through his warmth, encouragement, outgoing personality, and respect for everyone. From an early age, he used those talents to travel around Nashville preaching and singing.

Though he had taken some courses at Tennessee State, he instead decided his true calling was with the church, so he enrolled at American Baptist Theological Seminary in Nash-

14 FEBRUARY 2022 / CODE M

[ BLACK HISTORY MONTH ]

Hoover celebrated many important events with Dr. King and Sidney Poitier.

ville. Graduating in 1949, he would later be conferred with the Doctor of Divinity (hon.) for his distinguished service in ministry and civic contributions.

Now Rev. Hoover was much sought after. Known as a gogetter and a focused, goal-oriented person, he was very civic-minded as he watched the US struggle with civil rights. Not just content with being a minister, he was also a social justice activist, something that would figure largely in his life in coming years.

In 1952 Rev. Hoover traveled to Cleveland to hold a revival meeting at the Greater Abyssinia Baptist Church. The strength and depth of his focus and preaching prompted a number of pastors to request he return and take over for the retiring pastor, Rev. Eugene Ward. Rev. Hoover, stepping out on faith as he usually did, accepted the offer.

Beginning his pastorate at the age of 29 in 1952 at what was then known as the Second Olivet Baptist Church, Rev. Hoover began building an infrastructure based on community, brotherhood, and mutual support and respect. Thus, the byline “Making our neighborhood a brotherhood” be-

came the driving focus in later years of the Fairfax community where the church was located.

During his tenure as pastor, the congregation grew from 500 to over 5,000. People were drawn to Rev. Hoover’s preaching, his insistence on uplifting members to positions of stature and status. The church became a haven for respectability, equality, and honor, an oasis built against the predations of widespread and deeply entrenched racism that existed throughout the country, not just in the South.

To align the church and the many community projects it either originated or supported, Rev. Hoover spearheaded efforts that led to the church changing its name to the Olivet Institutional Baptist Church in keeping with the movement at that time that sought to minister to the soul through spiritual and social uplift.

Rev. Hoover developed a holistic model of ministry that spoke to all aspects of individual, family, and community life.

Unsurprisingly, Rev. Hoover and the church began to gain widespread attention. Many years before, he met Rev. King in Birmingham, Alabama, and was a great supporter of Kings’ movement. Dr. King subsequently made Olivet the local headquarters CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 15

[ CLE ]

16 DECEMBER 2021 / CODE M

[ BLACK HISTORY MONTH ]

for his work whenever he was in Cleveland. Rev. Hoover, an accomplished fundraiser, helped to raise funds for Dr. King.

As many churches are well aware, fundraising is a constant issue and Rev. Hoover did much to not only bring together the monies needed to finish the building of a new church building, located at Quincy Avenue, but to pay off the mortgage in just seven years. Rev. Hoover, along with many church members, helped with many of the tasks during the building’s final construction.

Started a tradition with many of our influential leaders from Cleveland and around the country who would come to the church, which is something that continues to this day.

Rev. Hoover extended his reach beyond Fairfax to work with mayors, council people, the governor, and people from all walks of life. If there was one thing Rev. Hoover knew, it was how to “extend the olive branch.”

As you might expect, though, Rev. Hoover, not a pretentious bone in his body, was a friend to not just luminaries, but all the members of the community. He truly believed that he was no better than anyone else. Rev. Hoover was constantly visiting and uplifting people and was known as a “facilitator of empowerment.”

Americans see and understand their own value and self-worth, not just within the church but without. Out of respect, he never called people by their first names, but Mr., Mrs., and Miss. In return, he was endearingly known as “Big Daddy.”

In 1966, as part of a church legacy and community support, the O.M. Hoover Christian Community Center was opened, Dr. King delivering the dedication. The center provided its members and the wider community with fellowship, recreation, and community activities. Today, the center has vastly expanded its programs to meet the needs of community members.

Though Rev. Hoover passed on in 1973 after serving as pastor for over twenty years, he is still remembered fondly by his family and those who knew and worked with him in so many capacities.

As Dr. King wrote: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

Thus was the life of Rev. Odie M. Hoover who stood tall, who embraced all, who spoke up for and empowered all no matter what was occurring in their personal lives, in the community, or nationally. He was a living testament of “Making our neighborhood a brotherhood.” ●

A role model to many, Rev. Hoover helped many African

Olivet Institutional Baptist Church was considered home for Paster Hoover for many years.

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 17

[ BUSINESS ]

CELEBRATING HISTORIC CLEVELAND LEADERS: PART II Al-Hajj Wali Akram was an inventor, and a leader to a community who eventually would become one of the most influential people in Cleveland history.

by David Christel

Imam Al-Hajj Wali Akram

then, was a lot of money.

Arabic Made Easy.

amily, community, and education.

These were three of the primary areas of importance focused on by Imam Al-Hajj Wali Akram, founder of the First Cleveland Mosque in 1937 and first official home to Muslims in Cleveland. In 1937, Cleveland and the world were very different places.

Due to Imam Akram’s influence and leadership, the Muslim community has grown immensely in numerous ways.

After attending Prairie View State College where he studied electrical engineering, Walter attended Lane Seminary in Nashville, Tennessee, along with several of his brothers. But, gifted with an inquisitive mind, the teachers didn’t take kindly to his pointed and probing questions, so he left the seminary. While in Tennessee, he discovered and became interested in Islam.

Then, in 1925, he married Kareema and over the years raised thirteen children. A family-oriented couple, everyone gravitated to them.

Kareema was the backbone of the family and Wali eventually became the glue for the entire Muslim community.

Imam Akram was born in Bryan, Texas, in 1904. His name: Walter Reese Gregg. He and his brothers, all eight of them, were blessed with insatiable curiosity and inventiveness. Several inventors among them, Walter and one of his brothers invented and patented the Reese Hitch, the trailer hitch you’ll find used around the world.

They sold the patent for $900, which back

St. Louis is where he headed next.

While there, he saw a sign in a store window that said, “Change your name and become free.” The year was 1923.

He converted to Islam and adopted his Islamic name, Wali Akram. He took to the religion and language quickly and was soon teaching Arabic. He eventually published a book in 1946,

F

18 FEBRUARY 2022 / CODE M

In that same year, Wali hosted and worked with visiting Muslim missionaries. Upon their departure, he became the leader of Cleveland’s young Muslim community. But it wasn’t until 1937, when he founded the First Cleveland Mosque, that he took on the mantle of Imam.

The first mosque was located on Woodland Avenue with the Akram family living above the mosque. The

[ BUSINESS ]

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 19

[ BLACK HISTORY MONTH ] mosque moved several times over the decades and is now located on East 131 St. in Cleveland.

The mosque’s mission was to educate the Muslim community, as well as spread the Islamic message of peace, love, and unity.

First Cleveland Mosque was able to reach a milestone in peace-making through the diverse religious groups in Cleveland that also spread throughout the region. Imam Akram had a printing press and began producing “The Meccabian Press” newsletter in both Arabic and English.

He also owned a grocery store and was famous for handing out IOUs to customers who were unable to pay or who were struggling financially. Imam Akram truly believed in supporting and working together with all members of the community.

One of Imam Akram’s historic accomplishments with First Cleveland Mosque was the development of a 10-year action plan, which included strategies for economic self-sufficiency and building a strong, heathy, vibrant, and beautiful

18 FEBRUARY 2022 / CODE M

community working for the good of all humanity.

A master teacher, Imam Akram was in demand around the country, giving lectures and educating communities spiritually and financially. He was considered a moderate but was also progressive as he helped women rise in stature and positions within the Muslim community at a time when women were considered second-class people.

Though Imam Akram passed away in 1994, he is well-remembered throughout Cleveland, as well as around the world. He will be celebrated at the mosque’s 85th anniversary as those who knew him personally recall his intelligence, wisdom, leadership, and spiritual depth. ●

[ BUSINESS ]

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 19

BUSINESS CARL SANDIFER II LEADS NASA INTO THE FUTURE The NASA Glenn Research Center has always played a significant role in the space program. With Carl E. Sandifer II at the helm, NASA is set to reach Mars and beyond.

by Leslie Logan

A

s we celebrate Black History Month, we are reminded of the people in our past who paved the way for our present and future. We celebrate those in the past for creating new paths and expanding the conversation of the opportunities that exist for those who dare to dream of being something different and great.

Born and raised in Northeast Ohio, Sandifer knew as a child that we wanted to work in science. But landing his dream job took a little bit more luck and imagination than he anticipated.

“I knew that I wanted to work in the field of science, and I got lucky when I ended up at NASA,” Sandifer said.

Sandifer working at NASA lets young people around Cleveland know that if they work hard, they, too, could find their dream job right in their own backyard. So how does a kid, like Sandifer, get a job at one of the country’s most important organizations?

“I knew that I wanted to work in the field of science, and I got lucky when I ended up at NASA.”

Carl Sandifer, II For Carl Sandifer II, that dream is being realized as the Deputy Chief of the Space Science Project Office at the NASA Glenn Research Center. Sandifer’s story is why CODE M Magazine was created. The magazine’s goal of finding and highlighting Black people doing amazing things are realized by profiling Sandifer.

22 FEBRUARY 2022 / CODE M

“I attended Bowling Green State University and earned a bachelor's degree in Applied Mathematics and a minor in Mechanical Design Technology. I completed additional aerospace coursework in orbital mechanics and flight dynamics at Case Western Re-

[ BUSINESS ]

Carl Sandifer II discussing the Mars Rover.

serve University and earned a Master of Business Administration at Indiana Wesleyan University,” Sandifer explained. “I got lucky and got into NASA through a co-op program as a freshman in collage, now called NASA Pathways.”

That luck has turned into a twenty-year career for Sandifer and now he is working on some of the most important projects that NASA currently is developing.

“We are currently working on the development and maturation of radioisotope power systems with the U.S. Department of Energy, which provides the power to explore our solar system and beyond through the use of plutonium-238 dioxide,” Sandifer said. (https://rps.nasa.gov) “There is also the Photovoltaic Investigation on the Lunar Surface, or PILS, experiment,” Sandifer continued. (https://

www.nasa.gov/feature/glenn/2021/out-ofthe-shadows-lunar-solar-experiment-buildcompleted-despite-challenges) Sandifer is also working on getting the US back to the moon. Describing the mission, Sandifer said, “When Artemis astronauts go back to the Moon, they will need access to electric power to live and work on the surface. Solar power will be one of the options to sustain human life and science for those long-duration missions. A solar power experiment designed by a team of investigators at NASA’s Glenn Research Center will launch to the Moon on Astrobotic’s Peregrine Lander.

“Using state-of-the-art solar cells like the ones on today’s orbiting satellites and next generation space solar cell technologies, PILS will demonstrate light-to-electricity CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 23

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[ BUSINESS ]

power conversion devices for future missions.

The experiment will also collect data on the electrical charging environment of the lunar surface using a small array of solar cells. We shipped the hardware to Astrobotic on Oct. 13, 2021.”

Sandifer describes the best part of his job is having the privilege to work with an extremely talented, intelligent, and creative workforce. He never imagined that he would be involved in helping NASA get to Mars and explore our solar system and beyond.

Sandifer advises anyone looking to follow him to strive to be the best at what they do. Seek mentors, provide mentorship, and pursue opportunities for growth. For Black people, science has always been an allusive area to venture into. For school age children in the inner city, support for science can sometimes be hard to find.

NASA is looking to change the way young people engage and explore science as a career. The NASA Pathways and USAJOBS websites offer chances for applicants to review job requirements for positions at the agency and apply for positions.

When Sandifer isn’t working, he likes to spend time with his wife and kids and travel and enjoy golf. Sandifer’s position at NASA is born out of an extreme amount of demanding work and a little luck. What he doesn’t realize is that he has turned into a model for young Black kids coming behind him — he’s the person they see when they envision themselves living out their own dreams. And that is what Black history is supposed to be. ●

When Sandifer is not working he enjoys spending time with his wife and three children.

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022

25

COVER

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[ COVER ]

BLACK

LEADERS

WHERE HAVE THEY GONE?

Will the meaning of Black History Month change in thirty years when we look back at 2022 and realize that we have no national Black leadership?

F

or some, it feels the like the burden of being Black in American has, once again, risen to intolerable measures. Along with that comes the feeling of being isolated and alone due to the incredible void of any Black leadership on a national level. That absence has left us feeling like it’s every person for themselves, and the battle is being lost.

So, what happened to our national Black leaders?

Where have they gone, and why has no one emerged to take on the agenda of the modern African American?

These questions are complicated to answer, but as a Black people, we must begin to address why there

Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

is such a huge void in Black leadership.

One might contend that with the murder of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr. that the job of becoming a national Black leader is dangerous. Those two leaders sacrificed everything to champion Black equality. They were determined for all Black people to realize their own American dream. They paid for their fearless attempts at civil equality with their lives. Could their deaths OUR CHILDREN ARE CHOOSING THEIR OWN be the reason no one since 1968 has stepped up to become a national LEADERS IN THE ABSENSE OF ANY spokesperson for the Black agenda?

There is a saying that goes, “If you do not stand for Could the lack of national Black something, you will fall for anything.” That saying is leadership be manufactured? The also true about leadership. The Black community has a 1970s gave birth to more than just huge void of national leadership that hasn’t seen a true no Black leadership. It started with leader in years. the destruction of the Black Church.

For children ages 12 to 22, the concept of a national For so long, the Black church was leader is all but gone. This age group doesn’t really the center of Black existence. It was Continued on page 30

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 27

Cover and inside photo by: Mychal Lilly

24 FEBRUARY 2022 / CODE M

[ COVER ]

where Black people went for everything. Wisdom, encouragement, peace, guidance and, finally, structure.

In the 1970s the Black church began to accept money from the government. As a non-profit, government subsidies could support a pastor’s work and allow the church to survive when tithes and offerings were low. But the acceptance of government assistance also meant not being able to drive an independent agenda. Black pastors, once the argumentative, passionate spokesmen for the Black community have been reduced to nothing but a relationship-solving tenant of what once was the bedrock of Black culture.

The pastors of today are absent when it comes to discussing the plight of the Black person. With the pandemic, police oppression and white privilege dominating the news, you rarely see anyone from the church take a position or stance.

“I have no idea where our Black leaders are,” Cindy from Ohio City said. “And what makes it worse is that there are so many terrible things happening to us, we need leadership more than ever.”

From a political standpoint, Black leadership is nothing more than empty words spoken from self-serving politicians who bicker back and forth with each other in Washington. Black people, for most part, appreciated President Barak Obama being elected, but did not see him as an equality-fighting national Black leader. So, the void remained for most Black people.

In the ‘60s and ‘70s, music and musicians played a significant role in communicating the Black agenda through powerful lyrics and songs, thus propelling the artist into a national leader. Black people counted on those songs for comfort and nourishment as they attempted to provide for themselves and their families.

Blacks used to have national leaders like W.E.B. Du Bois, Malcolm X, and Rep. John Lewis.

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 29

[ COVER ] The music of today fills our ears with empty compositions of songs about men emasculating women and committing crimes. These songs not only do nothing to fill the void of leadership, but instead create a deeper hole for young Black people to climb out of. Suicide for young people has become a problem for American culture and it’s getting worse by the day.

“I really cannot understand what’s happening to our young people,” Brian, from Brook Park, Ohio lamented. “I saw the story about Regina King’s son on the Internet, then over the next few days, heard about more suicides. When I saw that the Thirty-year-old Miss USA winner killed herself, it hurt me really bad to see how someone with so much going for herself could do that.”

The Internet has created the Age of the Individual. We no longer look to hear from one person of strength, yet if you

browse your Facebook feed, every day, ordinary people offer quotes about everything from relationships to recipes. With everyone self-promoting their own agendas, who is to say that people would accept a national leader anymore?

The sheep have become the used to listening to other sheep.

The sheep also think their own message is more important than the next person’s message. Because everyone is now an expert, no one is an expert, thus making all messages moot.

We all understand that times change. And those changes mean a new way of thinking, living, and existing. So, we may have to accept, just like we did when we stopped getting together as families, that there might never be another national Black leader. Thirty years from now, as we look back at 2022, one can only wonder who we will celebrate as a national Black hero. ●

Pictured from left to right: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, and Barak Obama.

Continued from page 27

know Barak Obama, and because he was a politician, they didn’t pay much attention to him either. Young people today are absorbed by their own realities. That includes, their phone, their friends, and their grades. The concept of paying attention to any adult, including their parents, means lifting their head from their devices.

a national Black spokesperson.

The void of national Black leadership means that Black families are not on the same page. Black parents are not communicating the same message down to their children, who then internalize the message so form their own opinion.

While they do not pay attention to any adult themed conversations, young people do pay attention to causes. They will walk, conduct sit-ins and will boycott any movement they feeling strongly about.

This incredible void means that they are choosing musicians, athletes, celebrities, and Internet influencers to guide their choices and decisions. The solution to the problem is not an easy one. There are constant recommendations to “check on your kids and make sure that they are not suicidal.”

The response from young people when George Floyd was killed was amazing to witness. Young people, in fact, took control of the narrative that became the Black Lives Matter movement. But the problem is the movement did not product

Black parents should expect to be the leaders for their children in the absence of any. We have survived with far less and must continue to do so for the sake of our children. ●

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CODE M / DECEMBER 2021 27

BUSINESS LIFE BLACKS ARE UNDER ATTACK IN AMERICA For over 400 years, Blacks have been under attack in America. 2022 seems to be no different as Blacks are under siege from all angles.

I

By Brad Bowling

f you pay attention, you will find it. You will find a video or a clip of a Black person being attacked for doing average things. The examples are everywhere: Black man shot in his backyard on New Year’s after firing his AR-15 to celebrate, killed by a police officer who did not announce himself or even see where he was shooting.

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A black man attacked in a hotel lobby because he was checked in before a drunk white couple.

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Police called on a Black woman because she took two extra creamers after buying coffee.

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A black couple was stopped by police and forced to show a receipt for 80 dollars’ worth of groceries.

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Black woman denied entry into her apartment complex.

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Black children were berated for walking in their neighborhood.

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A black basketball player stopped by a white person while riding his bike to basketball practice in the early morning.

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The instances of violence, whether physical or psychological, seem to bridge any social, educational, religious, political, military status, or physical location that a Black person might achieve. This means that no matter who you are, where you live, or who you know, you, too, might become a victim of violence at the hands of racists in America.

The social video posts of a Black person being assaulted always seem to happen to someone else, but the statistics of it happening to you are increasing. Assault is a broad term for this article. So, let’s discuss how and when Blacks are being attacked in America.

PUBLIC POLICY The gains that Blacks have made over the last sixty years with public policy are quickly being eliminated. The Equal Rights movement led to some of the most productive legislation Blacks had ever seen, but lately, those rights are being attacked all over the country. The right to vote should be basic, but when policies are created to suppress

[ LIFE ]

Blacks’ ability to vote, it creates an opportunity for those who Blacks oppose to continue to create laws that do not benefit Blacks.

The redistricting of voting lines is designed to reduce the power of democratic voting blocks. If the lines are set up to reduce Black populated areas, it kills the ability of Blacks to singularly control elections.

Affirmative Action was enacted to create a balanced playing field. But the Supreme Court will soon decide if Affirmative Action laws are still needed. If the law is changed, Blacks will no longer be able to enjoy competing for positions based on equality. This will be a major blow for Blacks’ civil rights and the Equal Rights movement altogether.

POLICING Blacks have always been the subject of abusive policing in America. The fact that the modern-day police department

was born from the need to track and capture slaves reveals why Blacks continue to suffer at the hand of law enforcement in 2022. There continue to be instances of police brutality, killings at the hands of police, and racial profiling.

While there seems to be a small shift in the police being held accountable for their actions, there are still far too many situations where Blacks are being hunted and harassed daily.

“I have to constantly remind my sons when they leave the house to drive a certain way,” Victor from Cleveland said. “The crazy thing is, that still might not help if they encounter a cop where they are guilty before being determined innocent.”

EDUCATION While the instances of discrimination are dropping, there are still far too many reports of Blacks being denied opportunities based on the color of their skin. We all have heard of the stories where a Black had to cut their hair to compete, being denied the opportunity to graduate based on their hairstyle, or CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 33

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not given the rewards of their accolades because they didn’t look the part.

Recently, there was a report in Lorain, Ohio, where a child was forced to eat food out of the garbage because the lunch attendant felt like they were wasting food. If it were not for video, it probably would have been the child vs. the school lunch aid. The result of this incident is that the school principal and lunch attendant were fired and a lawsuit has been filed on behalf of the child and family.

REAL ESTATE Blacks didn’t have a chance to claim land during The Great Migration of the 1800s when Americans went West for better lives and land. Blacks were excluded from the creation of the suburbs of the 1940s and ‘50s when Whites built homes in suburban communities, watched those property values increase, and then went and did it again and again while building millions in equity to live off of.

Today, Black people are still experiencing discrimination by low-balled appraisals and being redlined from trying to buy homes in certain neighborhoods. In his book, Freedom to Discriminate, Gene Slater uncovers realtors’ definitive role in segregating America and shaping modern conservative ideology. Drawing on confidential documents from leaders of the real estate industry, Slater reveals how realtors systematically created and justified residential segregation.

PRIVILEGED WHITES The problem of ordinary people trying to exercise their white privilege is at an all-time high in 2022. With the increased amount of videotaping of events, we are witnessing Black people being discriminated under all kinds of absurd and unwarranted situations. Blacks are questioned all the time now for simply walking, working, swimming, jogging, exercising, and living while being Black.

The solution to the problem can only come with a strict execution of making organizations and people pay for their ignorance. Blacks must begin to prosecute and defend themselves, as long as the solution is not criminal, to change the narrative on being hunted. The real question continues to be: When will Black people truly experience a non-biased society? ● CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 31

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LIVING IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE: PART III CHEATING TO FILL THE VOID

Even in the happiest of marriages infidelity can be found. But the reasons that men and women cheat are completely different.

by Bolling Smith

I

n our last article on “Living in A Sexless Marriage,” we attempted to tackle some of the effects of living in a sexless marriage. Committing adultery is one of the main effects of living with a spouse who either chooses to not have sex or cannot have sex. The

theory is that men require way more physical activity than women, but as couples age, the requirements and needs of both men and women seem to shift and for this reason, both men and women cheat equally. Why they cheat, however, is quite different.

For men, the need to stay physically connected to their spouses is paramount.

Men desire sex, physical touch, and crave an emotional connection with their spouse to stay engaged. When men are young, the need for sex is purely physical.

But as they age, they begin to require mental stimulation as well.

“My wife just doesn’t seem into me anymore. She’s not interested in my job, my friends, or my interests. We’re like to passing ships,” William from Cleveland CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 37

[ LIFE ]

A lack of sex can cause all kinds of mental and physical problems.

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[ LIFE ]

Heights said. “When I discuss my day or the wonderful things happening in my life, she barely responds.”

The lack of mental interest that men encounter dims the passion for physical activity with their wives. For men over forty, if there isn’t a mental attraction, the physical attraction seems to be reduced as well.

of sociology at Missouri State University.

“But the data tells a very different story.”

In the process of authoring her book, The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife: Power, Pragmatism, and Pleasure in Women’s

Infidelity, Walker learned that women cheat at the same rates as men.

Turns out, the cheating wife is not an anomaly. And depending on the age group and behavior, sometimes women cheat even more often than

The number one complaint that many men discuss when talking about living without sex is how lonely they are in their marriages. Lonely men quite often will seek attention from women who will pay attention to them, create a mental bond with them, and share in common interests they have.

“When I was married, we didn’t sleep in the same bed. She stayed upstairs and I stayed downstairs. We were like two passing ships. We no longer laughed together or anything. We just ate together and lived in the same house. It was easy to cheat because we were no longer having sex. She seemed OK with us just co-existing,” Preston from Parma explained.

For women, the reasons they cheat are far different from men. Women also feel loneliness and abandonment in their marriages, but when asked, they quite often cheat because they’re bored — a huge reason they stray as their marriage ages. Women feel like their spouses no longer pay attention to them and they stop trying to make them happy. This results in a vicious cycle of not paying attention to each other until they are approached by someone who will pay attention to them.

“We have this idea socially that men are cheaters, all men are susceptible to cheating, that men are dogs, right?” said Alicia M. Walker, an associate professor CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 39

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men.

of life, including married couples.

“Way more women are cheating than we think,” Walker said. “We just don’t like to talk about it, and we don’t like to think about it. You don’t want to think that your neighbor, your Sunday school teacher, or your friend doing this. But the reality is, you know a woman who is cheating, you just don’t know that she is.”

There are no easy answers as to what couples should do. The public stain on getting a divorce is never easy to overcome. There are finances to address and children to consider. But what are the consequences of living in a marriage without intimacy?

With the understanding that both men and women cheat, why don’t couples choose to separate when they’re unhappy? Why do people stay in marriages if they feel lonely, bored, or abandoned?

There are many answers to those questions on why so many sexless couples choose to remain unhappy. In a postpandemic society, everyone is thinking much more about what they want out

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For unhappy married couples, cheating is one way to fill the void of feeling alone.

Life is shorter than we think, and how we spend our brief time on this planet can only be realized by the decisions we make. The people who want to get the most out of life will make the right decisions for themselves and their spouses. ●

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 37

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STYLE

&

SUBSTANCE “You ask me questions that fall continually within the ‘negroness’ of my life. I am artist, man, American, contemporary. I am an awful lot of things, so I wish you would pay me the respect due and not simply ask me about those things.”

FASHION

SIDNEY POITIER: MEASURE OF A MAN

Sidney Poitier (1968) Addressing the media Written by ANTHONY KIRBY Anthony T. Kirby is the Lifestyle Editor for CODE M Magazine and has spent over 30 years in the menswear industry. He lives in Philadelphia, PA where he is the Creative Director for FINICKEY, an online men's haberdashery brand. (https://finickey.us)

A

s we mourn the recent passing of an iconic and Academy Award-winning Hollywood legend, Sidney Poitier was 94 years old at his passing on January 6, 2022. He was a man measured by his work on the big screen and off the screen. A towering figure standing at 6’2”, he brought commanding attention to the roles he played.

His was a long-lived movie career as one of the first leading Black actors on the big screen.

Mr. Poitier was born in Miami, Florida, the beginning of his journey to becoming a recognizable face and name in CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 43

HEALTH

The majority of the population, that most vitamin companies naturally target, have nutritional needs that are substantially different.

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Written by GREGORY L. HALL, MD Gregory L. Hall, MD is the founder and CEO, Sequence Multivitamins. He specializes in medicine for African Americans that helps create more balance in their daily diets. www.sequencevitamin.com

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Sidney Poitier was the first African American man to win an Oscar.

Hollywood. Though he was an American citizen, he grew up in very humble beginnings on Cat Island, Bahamas, an island that was preindustrial, lacking all the 20th-century conveniences of plumbing or electricity. So, no refrigerator, telephone, radio, and not television to envision seeing potential roles Sidney would go on to play as an actor.

The “city that never sleeps” caught the attention of a young 16-year-old Sidney who relocated to New York City where he joined the American Negro Theater. This is where he began practicing his craft. With only two years of formal education, Sidney struggled to read scripts. He was first rejected by audiences because he couldn’t sing (he was tone-deaf) and because of his strong Bahamian accent. His challenges in reading caught the attention of an elderly Jewish waiter where he worked as a dishwasher. It was there Sidney found a mentor who taught him how to read. Knowing how to read was key for Sidney, turning a potential setback into a stepping stone toward life-long success.

His first lead role was in No Way Out as a doctor treating a white bigot. Then, five years later, another leading role in Blackboard Jungle. It was not until the 1960s when Poitier’s talent as a Black leading actor was noticed in such films as Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun and Paris Blues alongside an attractive and young Diahann Carroll, plus Louis Armstrong and Paul Newman.

It was Lilies of the Field where Sidney became the first Black actor to receive an Academy Award for Best Actor. That was followed by three box office successes: To Sir, With Love, In the Heat of the Night, and Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.

During the time of the Civil Rights Movement, Poitier was active and made contributions to the Movement. He was there for the March on Washington in 1963, on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial as Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his historic “I Have a Dream” speech. Dr. King noted that Poitier was “a man of great depth, a man of great social concern, a man who is CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 45

[ FASHION ] dedicated to human rights and freedom.”

Poitier shifted his talent from being in front of the camera to becoming a director creating a series of movies that became Black classics. His directorial debut was with an “all-black” cast Uptown Saturday Night, followed by Let’s Do It Again and A Piece of the Action. He also directed one of the highest-grossing films, Stir Crazy, starring Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder.

Sidney continued making films and acting later in life. His legacy imbues the performances of today’s leading Black male actors: Denzel Washington, the late Chadwick Boseman, Mahershala Ali, Sterling K. Brown, and Michael B. Jordan. Also, Blacks behind the camera such as Spike Lee, Ryan Coogler, the late John Singleton, Jordan Peele, and Barry Jenkins.

A well-lived life. Poitier received numerous honors and awards, he was granted a knighthood by Queen Elizabeth II in 1974, was the Bahamian Ambassador to Japan in 1997, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor, in 2009 by President Obama. He’s authored several autobiographies, This Life, The Measure of a Man, and Life Beyond Measure.

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Sidney Poitier was the embodiment of a life measured through courage, talent, grace, and humanity. ●

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Derrick Michael Hat from Target Wardrobe from H snd M Accessories by Styled By Decarlo A proper DANDY look that works for any season...

THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR GREAT PANTS Anyone who loves fashion understands that there are levels to it when it comes to looking good. Wearing the right pants sets the tone for the right encounter.

Written by LARON HARLEM A wardrobe shopper, stylist and accessories designer who specializes in dapper looks that truly appeal to the most discerning eye. mailto:styledbydecarlo@gmail.com, https://www.styledbydecarlo.com/

CODE M / FEBRUARY 2022 47

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DeWayne Johnson shoes by Perry Ellis Wardrobe by Old Navy Nectie/ Pocketsquare by Styledbydecarlo A upscale but fun look for the office.

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CODE M / AUGUST 2021 33

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PHOTO: Bradley Candie

For discriminating men the thought of not dressing to impress is problematic. With the fashions put together

by Laron Harlem, little is lost in the imagination of creating the most iconic looks.

Bradley Candie Wardrobe from Dand k Pocketsquare and lapel flower by Styled By Decarlo...

This casual but eye-catching look is guaranteed to to get compliments all day.

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Fashion in the postpandemic world is no different than before.

If anything, it’s even more important. With the large amount of men working from home, the chance to dress up has never been more important and a nice pair of pants completes any look, even if it is just a trip to Walmart.