WHAT'S ON? C O E C T E X C L U S I V E M A G A Z I N E ISSUE No.8 March 2024 Let’s talk Developmental trauma IN THIS ISSUE: T.I.Ps Trauma Informed Parents Photo: ©Coectviacanvacom
Issues and PTSD? It can happen to parents too! Unravelling the Tension: How Massage Therapy Can Help Reduce Stress How to go from Putting Out Fires to Finding Joy in Your Parenting Roundupof CoECTevents Meet David -Why a child may struggle with school
Sensory
In this issue
CoECTNews
Editor'sNote
MeettheTeam!
HowtogofromPuttingOutFirestoFindingJoyinYourParenting.
TheSimpleGuidetoDevelopmentalTrauma
SensoryIssuesandPTSD?Itcanhappentoparentstoo!
UnravellingtheTension:HowMassageTherapyCanHelpReduceStress andImproveWell-being
What'sonWhere?–EventsandConnections
Relievethesymptomsofcompassionfatigue,includingburnout
AsktheExperts
MeetDavid-Whyachildmaystrugglewithschool
Trauma-InformedQualifications
NATPViewpoint
To advertise with us contact: tips@coect.co.uk www.coect.co.uk ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE
Page1 Page2 Page3 Page4 Page6 Page8 Page9 Page11 Page16 Page17 Page18 Page19 Page20
WearedelightedtoannouncethatourAnnual Conferencefor2024willbeheldonThursday20 June Thethemeofthisyear'sconferenceisgoing backtothebasicsofTherapeuticParentingandis called“TheEssentialToolsofTherapeutic Parenting".
Asitwillbeavirtualconferencethisyear,youcan joinusfromthecomfortofyourownsofa.So,grab awarmdrinkandjoinusforanexcitingand informativeevent.
Youcanfindmoreinformationby clickingonthelinkorscanningthe QRcode
https://tinyurlcom/yaewvn2s
TherapeuticParentingAwarenessDay
Wow,whatawonderfuldayitwas!OnWednesday6th March,wecelebratedourfirsteverTherapeuticParenting AwarenessDayandTheNationalAssociationof TherapeuticParents’7thBirthday! Weweresohappyto sharethisspecialoccasionwithover100peoplewho joinedusforourlive-streamingevent.Itwasamazingto seesomuchinterestandsupportfortherapeutic parenting.
Asaspecialbirthdaytreat,werevealedournewNATP Trainingservice,whichwilloffermembersmore opportunitiestolearnandgrowastherapeuticparents Readontofindoutmoreaboutthisexcitingnews...
NATPTraining
Areyoureadytolearnhowtosupportchildrenand youngpeoplewhohaveexperiencedtrauma?
NATPisexcitedtoannounceitsnewtrainingservice, whichofferstrauma-informedtrainingtoorganisations, parentsandprofessionals Whetheryouworkin education,health,socialcareoranyothersector,you canbenefitfromthisserviceandgainvaluableskillsand knowledge Don'tmissthisopportunitytomakea differenceinthelivesofthosewhoneeditmost Tofind outmoreonthisnewserviceturntopage20
GroundbreakingNewsforSAfER Fostering!
SAfERFosteringarepleasedtoannouncethat,in agroundbreakingmove,theyaregoingtobe providingprivatehealthcareforthechildren andfosterparentsintheiragency.
TheyarealsowelcominginSpringtimewiththe re-openingoftheircaravan, whichfoster familiesintheagencyhavetheopportunityto useforweekendandholidaybreaks
KeynoteandTraining
Ourtrainershavebeenalloverthecountryin thepastfewweeksdeliveringtraining including:
HealingChildrenThroughTherapeutic Parenting
SarahNaishandSarahDillonhavebeenin HulltraininganorganisationinHealing ChildrenthroughTherapeuticParenting,and theyarelookingforwardtotheirConference intheupcomingmonths
Trauma-informedTeaching-Head TeachersconferencePortsmouth
SarahNaishandSairPennahadthepleasure ofspeakingatthePortsmouthHeadTeachers Conferencedeliveringanoverviewof Trauma-InformedTeachingandhowitcan beimplementedintoeducationalsettings
2024ConferenceNews
1 COECT NEWS ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE
FosteringNews
Editor’sNote
GreetingstoAll,
Thismonth,NATPcelebratedits7thanniversary,andtimeseemstohaveflownby.Over these7years,NATPhasprovidedinvaluablesupporttonumerousfamiliesfacing significantchallenges.Thissuccessislargelyattributedtoourdedicatedteamof volunteerswhoofferpeersupportthroughhostingListeningCirclesandproviding empatheticears.HappyBirthdayNATP!
Inthisedition,wewelcomebackJessicaSpenceley,aTherapeuticSocialWorkerwhowill delveintotransitioningfrommanagingcrisestodiscoveringjoyinyourparentingjourney. Shewillsharestrategiestoenhancethebondandunderstandingbetweenparentand child.
Sarahdiscusses‘TheSimpleGuidetoDevelopmentalTrauma’,emphasisingthenecessity forallinvolvedinachild'slifetocommunicateandcollaborateeffectively.How addressingunderlyingissuesbeforetacklingmorecomplexmatterscanpreventconflicts andchallenges,leadingtoimprovedoutcomesforthechild.Sarahalsoshedslightonher personalexperiencesinthearticletitled‘SensoryIssuesandPTSD’.
Inourwellbeingsegment,NicolaCrabb,askilledmassagetherapist,elaboratesonhow massagetherapycanalleviatechronicstress Sheexploreshowusingprofessional massagetechniquesandaromatherapyoils,wecanreleasepent-upstressand effectivelymanageourstresslevels.
GarethThomas,aseasonedtherapeuticfosterparent,offersinsightintothereasons behindachilddisplayingchallengingbehaviouratschoolandstressesthesignificance ofeducatorsunderstandingtherootcausesofsuchbehaviours.
WealsorecapCOECTeventsandtrainingopportunities,featuringaspecialpiecefrom NATPintroducingtheirnewtrainingservice.
AsEasterapproaches,wewishyouacalmandpositivestarttoSpringandtheEaster holidays
TakeCare,
Sair, Sarah, and The Team at The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 2
MeettheTeam!
TheCentreofExcellenceinChildTraumaismadeupofateamofexpertswhohave essentialreal-lifeexperience.WeareAdopters,FosterParentsandBioparentsof neurodiversechildren,andalsoworkasprofessionalsinthefield
ExecutiveEditor-SarahNaish SarahisaTherapeuticParent,an Adopteroffivesiblings,former FosterParent,retiredSocialWorker, BestsellinginternationalAuthor, KeynoteSpeakerandfounderof threeIndependentTherapeutic FosteringAgencies
ExecutiveEditor-SairPenna Sair(Sarah)isaTherapeutic Parent,Trainer, andTherapeutic ParentingCoach.Directorof NATP,TheHavenParentingand WellbeingCentreandInspire TrainingGroupandworksacross CoECTsupportingfamilies.
ManagingEditor-KathrynTalbot KathrynworksacrossCoECT, specialisingincommunicationsand publicrelations
Contributor-EmmaEdwards EmmaisaTherapeuticParent, Adopter,DirectorofNATPandThe HavenParentingandWellbeing Centre
Contributor-SarahDillon SarahisaTherapeuticParent,an AttachmentTherapist,Keynote speaker,formerchildincare,Author (TherapeuticParenting)Headof TherapeuticServices(Fostering)
Contributor-NicolaCrabb Nicolaisaholisticmassagetherapist withover10yearsexperience. Focusinghereffortsonwomen's healthandwellbeingNicolahas developedauniquemethodusinga combinationoftriedandtested techniquestoofferatailoredservice toherclientsincludingrelievingthe symptomsofstressandcompassion fatigue.
Contributor-Jessica Spenceley
Jessicaisatherapeuticsocial workerwithover20years experienceofhelpingadoptive parentsnavigatetheirparenting journeysusingtheattachmentbasedtraumainformedparenting approachofTBRI®
Contributor-GarethThomas Garethhasbeenasinglefoster parenttothreechildrenforseven years,andhasvolunteeredwith childrenforfourteenyears Heis currentlystudyingforadegreein psychology,withaviewto becominganeducational psychologist
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 3
How to go from Putting Out Fires to Finding Joy in Your Parenting
Written by Jessica Spenceley
Parentingachildwhohas experiencedearlyadversityand traumacanbetough.Itcanfeel likeyou’regraspingforideasand strategiesthatcanhelp,but notgettingtheactualhelpyouneed Itcan feellikemostofyourtimeisspentputting outfiresanddoingdamagecontrol.Thejoy youhopedtofeelasaparentonlycomesin smallglimpsesthatarehardtoholdonto However,itdoesn’thavetobethisway
Thetherapeuticparentingapproachof Trust-BasedRelationalIntervention®(TBRI®) canhelpyoutocreatehelpfulshiftsinyour familysothatyoucanfeelmorejoy.There aremanywaysthatTBRI®cansupportyou todothis,andagreatplacetostartiswith theConnectionPrinciples TheConnection Principlesofferyoumanystrategies,and mygotoonesarePlayfulEngagement, BehaviourMatching,andHealthyTouch.
PlayfulEngagement
Somanyofthechallengesfacedbythe parentsIworkwitharearoundhowto managetheirchild’strauma-based responses Asastartingpoint,wealways beginwithplayfulengagementbecauseit helpschildrentoincreasetrustandreduce fear-basedresponses It’salsoveryeasyto implement Allyouneedtodoisgetdown onthefloorandplaywithyourchild,orplay agamelikeGoFishorMonopoly,orbring outtheartsandcrafts,orkickarounda footballinthegarden.Playfulengagement isalsoaboutyourgeneralapproach,and beingmindfulofhowyouarecoming
across.So,evenifyourchildisateen anddoesn’twanttoplay,youcan stillapproachthemplayfully
BehaviourMatching
Behaviourmatchingisareallyeasy waytoconnectwithyourchild If yourchildissittingonthefloorwith theirlegscrossed,youwouldsiton thefloorwithyourlegscrossed If yourchildistalkingtoyouabout somethingwithaserioustone,you wouldrespondusingthesamekind oftone See,you’rematchingthem Behaviourmatchingmightseem overlysimple,butthemessages behinditaresignificant Behaviour matchingconveystoyourchildthat youseethem,thattheyexist,and thattheybelong Whenyou’ve
gottenintoachallengingpattern withyourchild,themessagingthat behaviourmatchingofferscanhelp youtoresetandgetbackontrack.
HealthyTouch
Whenthingsgetdifficultinparenting relationships,touchisoftenoneof thethingsthatlessens(oreven stops),andyoumaynotbeawareof it Touchhelpsyouandyourchildto feelconnectedtooneanother,and touchcanbeasignificantwayfor yourchildtofeelsafeandregulated
Therearealotofwaysthatyoucan connectwithyourchildina meaningfulway,notjustthrough hugsandcuddles Youmightgive yourchildahigh-5,afistbump,or createaspecialhandshake You
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 4
couldaffectionatelybumpshoulders Asyou’retalkingtoyourchild,you mightsweeptheirhairoutoftheirface, orlightlytouchtheircheek Iftouchis reallydifficultforyourchild,youmight justbeinphysicalproximitytothem, withoutmakingcontact
ThestrategiesintheConnection Principlesmayseemsmall,butthey canhaveabigimpactonyourfamily Whenyoufindyourselfinapattern whereparentingishardorwhere thingsmayevenfeelstuck,remind yourselftogobacktotheheartof parenting–connection
Connectionbuildstrust,helpsto disarmfear,andreduceschallenging behaviours Thebonusisthatwhenyou increaseyourconnectionwithyour child,youfeelmorepositivityandjoyin yourparenting It’sawin-win Start small,andusetheconnection strategiesoften
Ifyouwouldliketofindoutmoreabout TBRI®andtheConnectionPrinciples,be suretoreadTheConnectedChildby KarynPurvis,DavidCross,andWendy LyonsSunshine
Ifyouwouldliketoexperiencehow TBRI®canhelpyoumoveforwardin yourparenting,Iwouldloveto welcomeyoutooneofmyupcoming courses FindouthowTBRI®couldbring additionalhopeandhealingtoyour familytodaybyvisiting https://nurturedbelongingcom/
Throughhercompany,NurturedBelonging,Jessicahelpsadopters createastrongparentingbasefortheirchildrensothattheycanheal fromearlyadversityandtrauma Visitherwebsitetolearnhowyou,too, cangainadditionalinsightsandskillsetstoempoweryourparenting JessicaisalsoanAssociatewithTheHavenParenting&Wellbeing Centre
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PaperSubscriptionsandpasteditionsarealso availablethroughtheNATPshop: www.naotp.com/shop
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 5
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The Simple Guide to Developmental Trauma
Written by Sarah Naish
Developmentaltraumaisa complexandoften misunderstoodissuethat hasitsrootsinearly childhoodexperiences.It canbedifficulttoaccept
thatachildwhohasbeenremoved atbirthmaysufferfrom developmentaltrauma,butit's importanttorecognisetheimpactof whathappenedbothinthewomb,as wellasafterthechildwasborn.
Duringpregnancy,achildis incrediblysensitivetothe environmentaroundthem.Exposure tostress,violence,andsubstance abusecanhaveaprofoundimpact ontheirdevelopingbrainand nervoussystem.Thiscanleadto long-termeffectsontheirabilityto regulateemotions,linkcauseand effect,formhealthyrelationships,and navigatetheworldaroundthem.
Oneofthekeyfactorsin developmentaltraumaisunmetneed Whenachild'sbasicneedsforsafety, security,andlovearenotmet,(ormet sporadicallyandunreliably),itcan leadtoasenseoffearpartneredwith aconstantneedtoseekoutsafety For example,ifachildwasleftalonefor longperiodsoftimetheunderlying fearisoneofbeingforgottenabout,or beinglefttogohungry.The behavioursthatpartnerupwiththis arewhatsomemightcall‘attention seekingbehaviours’.Actually,theyare ‘attachmentseekingbehaviours’as thechildisdrivenbyfeartokeepyour focusonthem
Astherapeuticparents,itisour responsibilitytohelpthesechildren feelsafeandsecure,andto understandtherootoftheir behaviours
It'simportanttorecognisethatthe effectsofdevelopmentaltraumamay notbeimmediatelyobvious,butthey canbecomemuchmoreobviouslater inlife.Sometimes,therapeuticparents canbeabitoverlyoptimisticinthe earlyyears,believingthereareno effectsofdevelopmentaltrauma,only tofindthatthissurfacesasthechild grows
DrBesselVanDerKolkidentifiedseven differentareaswhichareseverely impactedbyDevelopmentalTrauma Thediagrambelowshowstheseven differentaspectswhichareaffected ontheleft.Inthemiddle,thedifferent areasaffectedinthebrainare identified,andontheright,thereare someexamplesofwhatwemightsee inourchildren.DrBrucePerryalso identifiedthattheNeuro-Sequential modelofinterventionwasimportant
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 6
tousewithchildrensufferingfrom developmentaltrauma.Eachaspect ofthetraumaneedstobetreatedin sequence Forexample,wecannot begintostartworkingonthechild’s behavioursinaspect4,withoutfirst addressingthesurvivalbehaviours linkedtofight/flightinaspect1
Difficultyandconflictarisewhen differentpeopleinthechild’slives haveunrealisticexpectationsand workonhigheraspectswhenthe loweronesareunresolved.Itisvital thattheteamworkingwiththechild understand;
1)Wherethechildisintheiremotional development
2)Theextentandimpactoftheir developmentaltrauma
3)Theapproachtakenby immediatecaregivers,IE TherapeuticParenting
4)Theimportanceofengagingina wholeteamapproach
5)Theemotionalageofthechild,IE thedevelopmentalstagetheyare functioningat
6)Theoverallimpactofimpulsivity, lackofcauseandeffectthinking, andtheabsenceofempathyand remorseduetodelayed development
Inconclusion,itisimportantfor thoseinvolvedinachild'slifeto communicateandworktogether toensurethatexpectationsare realisticandanyunderlyingissues areaddressedbeforefocusingon higher-levelmatters Thiscanhelp preventconflictsanddifficulties fromarising,andultimatelyleadto betteroutcomesforthechild.
Want to know more on how to support a child developmental trauma?
Check out the COeCT podcast
“How to identify Developmental Trauma Disorder in your child” by clicking on this link
https://tinyurl.com/bddfm7vt
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 7
Visit www.thehavencentre.co.uk for more information.
The
Haven Parenting & Wellbeing Centre focuses on providing support to families during challenging times. Specialising in addressing child-to-parent violence and alleviating symptoms of compassion fatigue.
Sensory Issues and PTSD? It can happen to parents too!
Written By Sarah Naish
WhenIwasdiagnosedwith PTSDafewyearsagonow,I wasverysurprised Ispoke tomyfriendsaboutit They allworkinthefieldofchild traumaandtheylookedatmeasifI hadbecomequitestupid
“OfcourseyouhavePTSD!Howcan younothaveaftereverythingyou experiencedwhileraisingyour children”?
NowI'mnotsayingthatthelevelof traumaIhaveisanythinglikemy children's Iamluckythatihada securechildhood.ButIneverrealised thatifIadoptedchildrenwhohad hadaverydifficultstartinlifethatI wouldkindof‘catch’someoftheir stuff!
It'squiteinsidiousatfirsttobe honest It'sonlylookingbacknow thatIrealisethatIneverusedto jumpwhenotherpeoplejumped I didn'tusedtooverreacttoloud noisesincafesorpeoplelaughing ButIdonow.IthinkitwasbecauseI spentsolonganticipatingnoises andeventsthatmightmakemy childrenreact,thattheystarted havinganimpactonme!
OftenifIusedtowalktooclosetomy youngestdaughter,orenteraroom, shewouldjumpandsometimes throwherselfonthefloorexclaiming, “Ahhyoumademejump,”or somethingsimilar Thishappened quiteafewtimeswithquitealotof thechildren.
WhatIdidn'tknowisthatthewaythe amygdalaperceivesthreatisfrom theenvironmentandthroughthe actionsofothers Sowhenour children'samygdala'saretriggered andtheyareoverreactingthere'sa signalthatgoestoouramygdala
alertingustodanger It'snotvery longbeforewestartfeelingvery irritatedandwemayfindourselves exclaimingloudly,“Ohforgoodness sake!!”
RecentlyIvisitedthetownwhereI raisedmychildren.Ihadn'tbeen thereforsomeyears AsIwalked roundthestreets,Iremembered lotsofeventshappening
That'swherethischildgot arrestedforshoplifting
That'sthepolicestationIspent alotoftimein
That'sthepubwehadtoscrape thatchildupfromaftertheygot drunk
That'stheplacewherethischild gottakenintohospitalandwe wereatthesideoftheroadwith theparamedics
AsIcontinuedroundIjustfeltmore andmoreunwell Mystomachwas churningandIhadabad headache.Isoldieredon determinedtoignorethefeelings I
clothesforexample Iremember thinkingthatIknewwhythiswas happening Iknewtherewere traumatriggersallovertheplace.I wonderedhowthismightfeelifI wereachild?Iwouldhavethesame feelingsinmybodybutIwouldhave noideaaboutwhyitwas happening Ithought,“IfIwas experiencingthisandIdidn'tknow why,Iwouldprobablyliedownon thefloorandscream”.
ItoldmyhusbandhowIwasfeeling andweleftthetown
Thisexperiencegavemeavery valuablereminderabouthow difficultlifeisforourchildren Ican managemylowlevel PTSDand traumatriggersbecauseI'mvery traumaaware Theimportantthing istobekindtoyourselfandtolisten towhatyourbodyistellingyou.If yourbodytellsyoutotakeabreak ormoveawayfromsomethingthen doit
Wedon’thavetostruggleon regardless
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ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE
Photo: ©Coect via canva.com
Unravelling the Tension: How Massage Therapy Can Help Reduce Stress and Improve Well-being
Written By Nicola Crabb
Stressisanunderrated causeofmanyissueswe faceinlife;thebreakdown ofrelationships,jobs, parentchildrelationships
andmore Whenwearestressed ourbodiesreleasehormones cortisolandadrenalinewhichcan floodoursystem,affectingour hearts,lymph,circulationand muscles,leavingusinastateof fightorflight. Overtimethis becomesthebody’snormalstate effectingcognitivefunctionand abilitytohandlewhatlifethrowsat us.
Stresscanberesponsiblefor autoimmunediseases,chronic pain,mentalhealthproblemssuch asanxiety&depression,personality disorders,ADHD,OCD,weightgain, heartproblems,andjointand muscleissues.Itcanleadto DementiaandAlzheimer’s,orother cognitiveandmemoryissues Stresscanpermeatemanyareasof lifeandcanhaltourabilitytoenjoy orevenrememberourfavourite things,forgettolistentoour favouritemusic,todance,totake joyinpeople,food,activities; sometimesrobbingusofyears Interestinglyittakesthebody monthsorsometimesyearsto regulateitselfafteraperiodof stress Anystress,butparticularly prolongedstresscancause massiveimbalanceinthebody
Thepositivetoourmodernsociety iswearetalkingmoreaboutstress; thereisanawarenessofhow dealingwithlifestressescanlimit thepossibilitiesofdis-easewithin thebody Thenegativeisthat westernsocietystillcelebrates stress,whoisthemoststressed, mostrushedofftheirfeet,thistoxic
societalideaispinningabadge ofhonouronthe‘moststressed’ person.
Holistictherapyincluding massagechallengesthisnorm& promotesbalanceover imbalance Studiesonrest,sleep, dietandselfcare(massage)are provingevermorethatthese elementsinbalanceare imperativeforahealthymind andbodybothshortandlong term,qualityoflifeisinthe spotlightrightnow.
Massageinparticular,hasshown someinterestingresultsin managingstresslevelsand preventingitfrombecoming chronicordevelopinginto somethingmoresinister Regular massagenotonlyeasestight muscles,itaidslymphaticflow, improvescirculation&promotes restandsleep,itencourages detoxificationandreleases happyhormonesbringingthe wholebodybackintouch, connectingwhatcanfeellike separatepartstogetheragain.
Massagingthefeetcanaffect
thegut,lungsandotherinternal organs.Massaginghandscan relievetensioninthehead;we aresointricatelyconnected Whenwerecognisethisthrough receivingmassageitbringsa senseofclarityandmindfulness, encouragingustomakebetter lifechoicesingeneral,tohave thebalancedmealinsteadofthe fries,drinkthewaterbeforethe coffee,massagebringsusback toamindfulstate Whenweare actinginastateofimbalance (stress)wecansnowballinto negativeroutinesandbehaviour patternssuchasbingeeating, badsleepandneglectingour mindsandbodies.
Icanrememberinmymassage training(manymoonsago) learningtowarnclientsin aftercarethattheymaybecome teary,emotionaloreven temporarilydepressedfollowing massagetreatment.WhenI lookeddeeperintothisIbegan discoveringthedirectlinks betweenmassageonstress levels,learningthatevenahand ontheshouldercanbringstress
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 9
Photo: © Branimir76 from Getty Images via canva.com
releasetothehumanbody,Ifeltthe possibilitiestotreatpeopleusingthe artofmassagewereboundless Regularmassageregulates adrenalineandcortisolatthesame timeencouragingthebodyto naturallyreleasehappyhormones suchasdopamine,serotonin, endorphinsandoxytocin,assisting thebodytoregulateitselfandreach homeostasis Ibegantoseehow professionalmassage,practicedby someonetrainedinphysiologyand anatomycoulddeeplyaffectthe bodyandmind Physicaltouchin massageisproventohavemany benefits,whenyoucombinethiswith theuseofoils,inparticular aromatherapyoilswhichhavealso beenusedforthousandsofyearsto aidinbodybalancetheresultscan belifechanging Ihavefocusedon thispracticeforoveradecade, combiningmassageandthecareful blendofessentialoilstorelease trappedstresshormonesandbring thebodybackinbalance
Differentculturesaroundtheworld swearbymassageforwellbeing,itis commonforfamilymembersto massageeachother,foreldersto passtheskillsdownthroughthe generations,andforpeopletocome
togetherforgroupmassageparticularly focusingonthevulnerableintheir communitiestheirbabies,elderlyandsick, tokeeptheminthebesthealthcondition possible Massage,inWesternculture,is oftenviewedeitherasaluxurious indulgence,cueInstagramimagesof perfectlyplacedlotusflowersandexpensive spasettings,orassexualforeplay.This diminishesthetruevalueofmassageasan
artanditsprofoundimpacton physicalandmentalwell-beingin achievingbodybalance
Stresscanbetherootcauseof manyissuesinourlives,affecting ourrelationships,jobs,and overallwell-being.Butwedon't havetoletstresscontrolus By takingcareofourselveswithrest, sleep,diet,andself-carepractices likemassage,wecanfindbalance andpreventstressfrombecoming chronic Massagecandowonders forourbodies,easingtension, improvingcirculation,and promotingrestfulsleep Italso helpsusrecognisethe interconnectednessofourbodies andminds,bringingusbacktoa stateofmindfulness
Withthehelpofprofessional massageandaromatherapyoils, wecanreleasetrappedstress hormonesandfindtruebalancein ourlivesandtakecontrolofour stresslevels.
Youcanfindmore informationonNicola’s MassageTherapyvia TheHavenParenting andWellbeingCentre.
wwwthehavencentrecouk
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 10
Photo: ©thehavenparentingandwellbeingcentre.
Tier 4 Package - NATP Peer Support, Wellbeing Portal Access & Training Pass includes: All services included in NATP Tier 1 Peer support Access The Haven's Online Wellbeing Portal and 50% off Havening Sessions Access to The Trauma Revolution Training Pass 50% off NATP Live Training. www naotp com/join
WHAT'S ON? COECT EVENTS
March 2024 - May 2024
PEERSUPPORTSGO/KINSHIPVIRTUAL LISTENINGCIRCLE
INFORMATIONSESSIONS FORNEWVOLUNTEERS
Monday18thMarch 1.00pm-2.00pm
SGO/KinshipCarerVirtualListeningCircle
Wednesday20thMarch8.00pm-9.00pm
https://tinyurl.com/5eaxrnyy
https://www.naotp.com/events/natpvolunteer-information-session-18-3-24
Tuesday16thApril 9.30am-10.30am
https://wwwnaotpcom/events/natpvolunteer-information-session
IN-PERSONLISTENING CIRCLES
NorthamptonshireListeningCircle
Thursday21stMarch
https://tinyurlcom/yrsy2wcw
RugbyListeningCircle
Tuesday2ndApril
https://tinyurlcom/4yxa6khk
CORPORATE INFORMATION SESSIONS
Wednesday27thMarch-11am
https://tinyurl.com/7ehxnad4
Wednesday10thApril –11am
https://tinyurlcom/42pnuhys
Wednesday24thApril–2pm
https://tinyurl.com/ptbveb22
Wednesday8thMay –11am
https://tinyurlcom/mwsuayp8
Friday29thMay–2pm
https://tinyurl.com/26n8tb3v
Ourvolunteerskeepusinformedabouttheirweeklylistening circles.StaytunedtotheeventspageontheNATPwebsitefor detailsonallupcominglisteningsessions.
TIP'S MAGAZINE 11 ISSUE 8
WHAT'S ON? COECT EVENTS
March 2024 - May 2024
ONLINETRAINING
The A-ZofSurvivalStrategiesWebinars
IfTheA-ZofTherapeuticParenting:StrategiesandSolutionsisyourroadmapofstrategiesthrough tosuccessfuladulthoodforyourchildren,thenTheA-ZofSurvivalStrategieswillbeyourhotflaskof teaorcoffeeandacosyblanketwhichwillkeepyouwarm,safeandwellonyourjourney!
JoinusforourinteractiveLIVEwebinarsbasedonthisbook,hereyouwillfindstrategiesfor essentialmaintenanceassooftenwealloverlookcaringforourselves!
Tobookgotohttps://www.traumarevolution.co.uk/events
AttachmentStyle –Wednesday6thMarch, 10:00-11:00GMT
InthisinsightfulwebinarLauradelvesintothecrucialconceptofattachmentstyle,offering practicalguidancefortherapeuticparentsnavigatingthecomplexitiesofnurturinghealthy attachmentswiththeirchildren.Thissectionprofoundlyequipsreaderswiththetoolsto understand,nurture,andstrengthencrucialparent-childattachments,fosteringhealingand resiliencewithinthefamilyunit.
Birthdays –Wednesday13thMarch,10:00–11:00GMT
InthiswebinardedicatedtoBirthdaysyouwillbelookingthroughtheuniquechallengesand considerationsthatarisewhencelebratingbirthdaysinatherapeuticparentingcontext From managingexpectationsandtriggerstofosteringasenseofbelongingandjoy,wewillprovide valuableinsightsonhowtonavigatethisimportantmilestoneinatherapeuticandsupportive manner
Blame–Monday18thMarch,10:00–11:00GMT
Intheenlighteningsessiondedicatedto"Blame"inSarahNaish'sbook,The A-ZofSurvivalStrategiesforTherapeuticParents,wewillguideyouthrough thecomplexemotionsandchallengessurroundingthetendencytoassign blameinparentingsituations.Thissectionofthebookservesasapowerful toolforparents,empoweringthemtobreakfreefromthecycleofblame andcreateamorecompassionateandsupportiveenvironmentfor themselvesandtheirchildren.
Boundaries–Tuesday26thMarch,10:00–11:00GMT
Joinusforthisweek’swebinaronBoundariesbasedonSarahNaish'sbook, TheA-ZofSurvivalStrategies Learnhowtoestablishandmaintainhealthy boundariesinallareasofyourlife.Discoverpracticaltipsandstrategiesto protectyourselffromburnoutandimproveyouroverallwell-being
CatastrophicThinking-Tuesday9thApril,10:00-11:00GMT
JoinusforawebinaronCatastrophicThinkingbasedontheteachingsfromSarahNaish'sbookThe A-ZofSurvivalStrategies Learnhowtoidentifyandchallengenegativethoughtpatternsthatlead tocatastrophicbeliefsanddiscoverpracticalstrategiesforovercomingfear,anxiety,and uncertainty Thiswebinarwillprovidevaluableinsightsandtoolstohelpyounavigatedifficult situationswithresilienceandstrength.
TIP'S MAGAZINE 13 ISSUE 8
Now available on Trauma Revolution Training Pass
Is your child showing signs of frustration and anger, which is presented in aggression and violence towards you and other family members? We can give you the de-escalation tools to support your child through their emotional struggles. www.naotp.com/training Managing Violent Behaviour Training TIP'S MAGAZINE 14 ISSUE 8
WHAT'S ON? COECT EVENTS
March 2024 - May 2024
ONLINETRAINING
TraumaRevolutionWebinars
SexualisedBehaviour-28July,12:00–13:00BST
Co-Regulation-Monday15thApril,10:00-11:00GMT
Itcanbeveryfrightening,evenhorrifying,tocomeacrossaveryyoungchildwhois,or,appearstobe,sexually knowledgeableandactive;butifwecanputasideourownhorrorandrevulsionandseewhatthebehaviouris reallytellingus,wecanatleaststartoffwiththerightmindset
Shame–1 August,10:00–11:00BST
JoinusforatransformativewebinaronCo-RegulationinspiredbySarahNaish'sgroundbreaking book,TheA-ZofSurvivalStrategies.Discoverpracticalstrategiestoregulateyouremotionsand connectmoredeeplywithothers,especiallywhenfacedwithchallenges.Learnhowtobuild resilience,fosterhealthyrelationships,andnavigatedifficultsituationswithgraceandcompassion.
ConflictedFeelingsandDisempowerment-Monday22ndApril,10:00-11:00GMT
JoinLauraforaone-hourlivewebinaronShame.Shameisapowerfulandpervasiveemotionforchildren.This webinarwillexplorethereasonsbehindshame,howitmanifestsinchildren,andstrategiesforsupporting childrentoovercomethisdebilitatingemotion ThewebinarwillalsofeatureaQ&Asession,wherewewill answeryourquestionsandprovideinsightsintohowtohelpyourchild
SiblingRivalry-10August,10:00-11:00BST
Joinusforawebinarexploringconflictedfeelingsanddisempowermentbasedoninsightsfrom SarahNaish'sbook"TheA-ZofSurvivalStrategies"Learnhowtonavigatethroughdifficult emotionsandregainasenseofempowermentinyourlife Gainvaluabletoolsandstrategiesto helpyouovercomechallengesandthrive Don'tmissoutonthisinformativeandtransformative webinar!
Obsessionsoftenhappenbecauseourchildrenstruggletobestilland'comfortableintheirownskin’When theyarestill,thetrauma,anxietyandemptinessseembiggerandmakethemfeeluncomfortable,drivento actionandtofindadistraction.Joinusforthislivewebinarwithmanyusefulstrategiessurrounding obsessions
DoubtandEmbarrassment-Thursday2ndMay,10:00-11:00GMT
Joinusforawebinarexploringthetopicsofdoubtandembarrasment,basedonSarahNaish's bookTheA-ZofSurvivalStrategies.Inthissession,wewilldelveintohowdoubtand embarrasmentcanimpactourlivesandrelationships,andlearnpracticalstrategiesfor overcomingthesechallengingemotions.
EmptyNestandLettingGo-Tuesday7thMay,10:00-11:00GMT
Joinusforathought-provokingwebinaronEmptyNestandLettingGo,inspiredbySarahNaish's bookTheA-ZofSurvivalStrategies Discoverstrategiestonavigatethechallengingtransitionof yourchildrenleavinghomeandreclaimingyouridentityinthisinsightfulandempoweringsession Whetheryouareaparentfacinganemptynestorsupportsomeonewhois,thiswebinarwill provideyouwithpracticaltoolsandguidancetoembracethisnewchapteroflifewithgraceand confidence.Don'tmissthisopportunitytolearnfromSarahNaish'sexpertiseandconnectwith othersonasimilarjourney.
EmpathyandEmpathicListening-Thursday16thMay,10:00-11:00GMT
JoinusforawebinaronEmpathicListening,basedontheprinciplesoutlinedinSarahNaish'sbook TheA-ZofSurvivalStrategies Learnhowtotrulyconnectwithothersbyunderstandingand validatingtheiremotions,thoughts,andexperiences Thiswebinarwillprovidepracticaltipsand strategiesforimprovingyourlisteningskillsandenhancingyourrelationships Don'tmissthis opportunitytocultivateempathyandcreatedeeperconnectionswiththosearoundyou
EssentialMaintenance,Wednesday22ndMay,10:00-11:00GMT
JoinusforawebinarwithSarahNaish,authorofTheA-ZofSurvivalStrategies,asshediscusses essentialmaintenancetipsforcaregiversandparentsofchildrenwithcomplexneeds.Learn practicalstrategiestohelpyoumaintainyourownwell-beingwhileprovidingthebestcareforyour child Don'tmissthisopportunitytogainvaluableinsightsandsupportfromaleadingexpertinthe field
TIP'S MAGAZINE 15 ISSUE 8
Relieve the symptoms of compassion fatigue, including burnout
If you're a parent, carer or an individual in a supporting role who is struggling with the emotional toll of compassion fatigue, attending a day retreat might be just what you need. Here are six reasons why you should consider going:
1 Self-Care and Rejuvenation: You can't pour from an empty cup. A day retreat gives you a chance to step back from the daily grind and focus on yourself. By prioritising self-care, you can recharge and feel renewed.
2. Reflection and Awareness: It's easy to get lost in the demands of caregiving. Our retreat provides a quiet and reflective environment where you can explore your thoughts and feelings related to compassion fatigue By gaining insight into your emotional well-being, you can take proactive steps to improve it.
3. Learn Coping Strategies: You don't have to go it alone. A compassion fatigue day retreat includes a morning workshop led by our practitioners with expertise in the area You'll learn practical coping strategies to manage stress, reduce burnout, and boost your overall well-being.
4. Connect with Others: It can be isolating to care for others, especially if you feel like no one understands what you're going through. Our Day Retreat provides a supportive community of like-minded individuals who can offer validation, comfort, and companionship
5. Mindfulness and Relaxation: Being in a constant state of stress takes a toll on your body and mind. At our Day Retreat, you'll have the opportunity to practice mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation techniques. These practices can help reduce stress, boost emotional resilience, and promote a sense of calm
6. Permission to Rest: We often feel guilty about taking time for themselves. A retreat gives you permission to prioritise your own needs without feeling selfish. By taking care of yourself, you'll be better equipped to care for others.
Attending a compassion fatigue day retreat is a proactive step toward maintaining your wellbeing while continuing to care for others. You deserve to feel supported, renewed, and empowered. To find out more about the day and our upcoming locations go to https://www.thehavencentre.co.uk/dayretreats
TIP'S MAGAZINE 16 ISSUE 8
ASKTHEEXPERTS
Letourteamofexpertswithfirst-handexperience,guideyouthroughsomeofthosetrickyTIP moments!
SC from Weymouth asks; My adopted son is 7 years old He literally never sits still I think he must have ADHD but I don't want him to take medication What should I do?
SarahNaishreplies
Ithinkwehave tobevery carefulabout rushinginto diagnosiswhen weknowthatour childrenhave experienced trauma.Asyour
sonisadoptedit'sverylikely thatthisisindeedthecase. WeknowthatADHDisoften mimickedbychildrenwho haveexperiencedtrauma, duetothehighlevelof cortisolintheirbodyandthe enhancedfight/flight response.
Althoughsometimesa diagnosisisuseful,inmany casestherapeuticparenting helpsustoreallyhelpour children Ifwethinkaboutthe levelsofanxietyand ‘busyness’whichismasking theanxiety,wecanhelpour childrenbymakingsurewe areveryclearwithroutines boundariesandstructure Visiblewallplannershelpour childrentoseewhatis happeningnextandalso lowersanxiety Withmy childrenIusedtousealotof highmovementactivities For example,wehada trampolinewhichtheywould bounceonthatwouldhelp themtoregulate Wealso foundthatahottubinthe
gardenwasreallygreatfor helpingthechildrentocalm.
Mostimportantly,Iexplained tomychildrenaboutwhy theyfeltsobusyand compelledtomoveallthe time.Icalledtheadrenaline andcortisol“busyjuice”.This helpedmychildrenasthey movedintoadulthoodto keepthemselvesregulated Youcanreadmoreabout strategiesinthe‘A-Zof TherapeuticParenting’, whereIspeakindepthabout thissubject
Consistency,Predictability, Reliability
Thislowersourchildren’sfear basedbehavioursandstartsto helpthemtoexitfight/flight. Itdoestakealongtimethoughso bepreparedforthat,andstartby usingnicebigvisualwallplanners toreduceanxiety.
Doyouhaveaquestionaboutacertain behaviouryourchilddisplaysora situationwhichseemstricky?Writeinto usviatheemailtips@coectcouktoget yourquestionansweredintheAskthe Expertssection.
TIP'S MAGAZINE 17
ISSUE 8
Meet DavidWhy a child may struggle with school
Written By Gareth Thomas
MeetDavid
He's12yearsold, andhe'sabadkid
HestartedathisschoolinYear7, alongwithallthekidswhomoved upfromtheirprimaryschools And despiteschooltryingeverything,he constantlydisruptsthelearningof themajorityofthekidsinhis classes
Quiteoften,he'srudetoschool staff Sometimeshe'sphysically abusive Somedays,hedoesn'tgo tolessonsatall
Thestaffatschoolhaveworked hardtohelphim Afewhave workedtirelessly
They'vehadafewnicechatswith him,andherunsaway Theyput himindetention,andhedoesn't turnup.Theygivehimisolation,and hejustsitsthere.Theyexcludefor himaday,ortwo,orthree Nothing works
He'sgivenlotsofnegative behaviourpoints,sohe'sleftinno doubtaboutbeingabadkid
Thisseemsharsh.But,schoolsay, hehastolearn
“We’reworriedabouthisbehaviour. Wefearforhissafety.Andwehave tothinkofthesafetyofeveryone aroundhimtoo”
“It'ssimple”,schoolsay.“Davidjust needstobehave,listentothe teachers anddoashe’stold”
Davidis...defiant.
Onlyafewmembersofstaffhad
thetimetoreadDavid’sfilewhenhe startedatschool.
Onlyonerememberswhatwas written Whenhewas10,justtwo yearsago,Davidcameintocare.
Sincethen,he'smovedtofour differentfosterhomes,andthree differentschools.He'shadeight socialworkers,threeIROs,two advocates,andabunchofother peoplehecan'tremember
Hedoesremembertheladywith curlyhair,whoactuallylistened And thensheleft Hehasn’tseenher sinceanddoesn’tknowwhereshe’s gone.
NoneoftheadultsDavidknewsix monthsagoarearoundanymore. Notasingleperson.
Hetrustsnobody
Ofcoursehedoesn’t.
Andhereallyneedssomebodyhe cantrust
Ifhecouldfindsomeonesafe,he mightstarttofeelsafe.
Hemightfeelcalmermoreoften He mightmakeafewfriends.
Andthenmaybehemightcometo schoolfeelingalittlepositiveabout thedayahead,despitetheunknown
ofhome
Withapersonhecantrusthemight openupandsharewhyschoolcanbe sotough
Hemighttellthemsomeofthescary thingsfromhispastthathehasn’t toldanyone
Hemightsharethatadultshurthimin thepast
Hemightsayheworrieshe'llbe hungryagain.Andthathedoesn't knowifhisMumisOK
Withsomeonehereallytrusts,he mightfeelsafeenoughtosharewhat happenedwhenhewas7
Quickchatswon'thelpDavid. Detentionswon'thelpDavid. Isolationswon'thelpDavid Exclusionswon'thelpDavid Behaviourchartswon'thelpDavid.
Relationships,connection,trust, understanding That'swhatheneeds
YoumightseeDavidasanedgecase Theexceptiontothemajority
TherearemoreDavidsthanyou wouldliketothink.
Theyallneedsomeonetheycantrust
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 18
Photo: ©coect via canva.
TRAUMA INFORMED QUALIFICATIONS
AtInspireTrainingwehaveasuiteofqualificationstosupportparentsandsupporting professionalswhoworkwithchildrenwhohaveexperiencedadversechildhood experiencesorwhodisplayneurodiversecharacteristics.
Formoreinformationonoursuiteoftraumainformedqualificationsgoto https://tinyurlcom/yc73vp9z
ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE 19
NATP VIEWPOINT New Live Training for NATP!
NATPhasrecentlystarted newin-persontraining sessionsfocusingon therapeuticparentingand trauma-informedpractice Thesetrainingsessionsare
aimedatprovidingparentsand professionalswiththenecessaryskills andknowledgetosupportchildren whohaveexperiencedadverse childhoodexperiences
AsamemberofNATP,youare entitledtoarangeofbenefits, includinga50%discountonallNATP In-personandonlinelivetraining coursesandonefreewebinarper month.Experiencedprofessionalsin thefieldfacilitatethetrainingcourses andcovervarioustopicsrelatedto therapeuticparentingandtraumainformedpractice.
Byattendingthesetrainingsessions, youwillgainvaluableinsight, techniquesandstrategiesfor supportingchildrenwhohave experiencedtrauma Youwillalsobe abletonetworkwithotherparents facingsimilarchallengesandreceive ongoingsupportandguidancefrom theNATPcommunity
Whocanbenefitfromourtraining?
Parentsandsupportingprofessionals, andcoversarangeoftraining elements,includingcoretrainingheld quarterlynationwideandonline Ourcomprehensivetrainingprogram isdesignedtoempowerparentsand supportingprofessionalswiththe knowledgeandskillstheyneedto makeapositiveimpactinthelivesof childrenandyoungpeople Ourcore trainingsessions,heldquarterly nationwideandonline,coverawide rangeoftopicsincludingchild development,emotionalregulation, communicationstrategies,and mentalhealthawareness By participatinginourprogram,youwill gainpracticalinformationandtools
tosupportyourchild'sgrowthand developmentandfeelconfidentin yourabilitytonavigatethe challengesofparentingand supportingyoungpeople Signup todayandjoinacommunityoflikemindedindividualsdedicatedto makingadifferenceinthelivesof childrenandyoungpeople
CoreTraining
Thefollowingarethecoretraining coursesthatwillbeincluded:
IntroductiontoTherapeutic Parenting
Discovertheprofounddifference betweenstandardparentingand therapeuticparentingthroughthis course Immerseyourselfinthe reasonswhythechildrenyoucare forneedtherapeuticparentingand gainessentialknowledgefor pursuingfurthercoursesrelatedto P.A.C.E,attachment,andtheeffects oftrauma Letthiscoursebeyour steppingstonetowards understandingthepowerof therapeuticparentingandits significanceinthelivesofthe childrenyoucarefor
IntroductiontoAttachment
Thiscourseempowersparentsand professionalswiththeknowledge andinsighttounderstandthe criticalroleofsecureattachmentin
theearliestyearsoflife.
Participantswillgainadeeper understandingofwhyattachment disordersoccurandlearnhowto identifydifferenttypesof attachmentdifficultiesand behaviours Mostimportantly,you willacquirepracticaltherapeutic parentingstrategiestohelpyou providethenurturingand supportiveenvironmentyourchild needstothrive
IntroductiontoDe-escalation techniques
Thiscoursewillexploresthe possiblerootcausesofviolent behaviourexhibitedbychildren andenablesparentsandcarers toimplementearlyinterventions andde-escalationstrategiesto supportthechild’semotional dysregulation Parentsandcarers willbeequippedwithpractical toolstoensurethesafetyofthe childandavoidconflicts.The coursealsoexplorestheimpactof suchbehaviouronparentsand discoverstheimportanceofselfcare.
RecognisingCompassion FatigueforParents
Thiscourseaimstohelpparents recognisetheimpactof compassionfatigueandvalidate theiremotionsandreactionswhile workingwithchildrenwith
20 ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE
Photo: ©Coect via Canva
DevelopmentalTraumaorwho displayneurodiverse characteristics.Thecourse focusesonself-awarenessas thekeytoimplementing successfulstrategies Parents andcaregiverswillgaina deeperunderstandingof SecondaryTraumaandlearn howtoavoidcompassion fatigueinthefuture.
RecognisingCompassion FatigueforProfessionals Inthiscourse,wewillteachyou thetherapeuticparentingmodel (TRUE)®,acollaborativeand supportiveapproachtoworking withparents.Youwilllearnhow toengageinintensive therapeuticworkwithparentsto helpthemcreateamore nurturingenvironmentfortheir children.Additionally,wewill provideyouwiththenecessary skillsandknowledgetomakea positiveimpactonthelivesof childrenwhohaveexperienced earlylifetrauma,orwhodisplay neurodiversecharacteristics, andtheirfamilies.
Inadditiontothis...
Amonthlywebinarisheldtwicea month,onceduringthedayand onceintheevening.Topicswill includethoseinspiredbyCoECT's TraumaInformedParenting magazine,seasonaltopics,and requestsfromNATPmembers. Pleasetakeamomenttocheck outourdedicatedtrainingpage
There,youwillfindacomprehensive anduser-friendlylistofallthe trainingprogramsthatweoffer!
Tobookyourtraining,simplycontact Danielle,ourTrainingManagerat NATP Shewillguideyouthroughthe processofbookingtrainingwithus viainfo@coectcouk
21 ISSUE 8 TIP'S MAGAZINE
Photo: ©Coect via Canva
Date: Thursday 20th June 2024
Time: 10:00 am - 3:00
ESSENTIAL TOOLS OF THERAPEUTIC PARENTING
THE
(GMT)
pm
For more information and to book your place, go to The Essential Tools of Therapeutic Parenting (vfairs.com) IntheUpcomingRelease... Conferencespecial-Explorethevitaltoolsfortherapeuticparenting GaininsightsintoaTherapeuticFosteringPanel Havening-Apyscho-sensorytechnique AsktheExperts Issue9availablefrom20thMay2024
Location: Virtual/Online Price: £10 plus VAT
Sarah Naish
Sarah Dillon
COECT INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE 2024 Strategies from the leading industry experts
Jane Mitchell