From the Editor We have officially made a year and I couldn't be more excited about the growth we have experienced and we are not done yet. We have so much more work to do including a new website, more events and increased content. Last April this publication started as an experiment, just to see how the public would like it and here we are, a year later getting bigger Malcolm Armstrong Jr. and better. I must remind our audience that we are here to promote mental health awareness and wellness from an entertaining standpoint. Mental health is not a topic of popular interest but however, we have gained support with little difficulty over the past year. Keep in mind that mental health is more than just shrinks and anti-depressants. Its in the way we talk, our fashion, our career choices, our hobbies and the many other ways we choose to express ourselves; we just need to take a closer look at our choices to find out how. I challenge our readers to follow our motto and never be ashamed to “Think Mind, Think Body...Think YOU!� Yours in #WELLNESS, Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Founder & Chief Editor marmstrong@cognitionmagazine.com Follow us on twitter: @cognition_mag Like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/ cognitionmagazine
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2. Editor’s Note 8. Nomadness Tribe: The Travel Tribe 12. Health & Fitness: Eating Healthy on the 28. Go & Exercise Demos 16. Ask Dr. Ada 18. Cover Story: 30. Gina Brown 21. Love & Relationships 22. Real Thoughts 24. What Blacks Should Know: The Color of Depression 18.
26. Sexual Health: 12 Libido Boosters
28. Artist Feature: Keedy Black 30. Buku Fest Event Coverage 31. Be Inspired 5
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Nomad•Ness
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he world is shrinking as we know it. You can be from New York to Japan or Seattle to Egypt in a day. We are connected through technology in ways that were unimaginable 20 years ago. These are amazing facts, the genius of progression and technology. As we move faster and faster into the future many are being left out. In the travel industry brown people tend to be the ones serving and not being served. In the last few years a voice has emerged to band together, educate, and promote travel, adventure, and growth within this under represented population and that voice is The Nomad•ness Travel Tribe.
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Article & Interview By: Alanna McCreary Images By: Nomadness Tribe & Evie Robinson
encouraging, educating and motivating them to take their learning beyond the classroom, sharing stories of past journeys goals and ambitions. Hopefully motivating and encouraging others to shed their fears and excuses about travel and life as a whole to try new things. Catch the NOLA stop: Thursday April 25th at Xavier University. Behind the Tribe Having first hand experienced her passion and ability to care in ways that are unexplainable or even imaginable I had the pleasure of picking the mastermind, the spine, the beauty behind The Nomad•ness Tribe, Evie Robinson. An introvert with extrovert tendencies, a super nerd, and a glutton for making the impossible possible, Evie graduated with her B.A in Television and Film production, from Iona College in 2006 and from there she has lived in Japan, Paris, New York and Thailand. reated by Evita “Evie” Robinson, the She is an avid reader, an addict to knowledge, not just Nomad•ness Travel Tribe, manifested out of a from books but from experience and her fellow humans. travel series she stared while living abroad in Evie has traveled all over the globe making friends and Japan. The Tribe (as members call it) is an inspiring people to live out their dreams and passions. online social community of travel enthusiast from all She is an inspiration and a force to be reckoned with. corners of the globe. Started in 2010, the group has nearly 4500 members worldwide. Q &A with Evie Robinson
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The Tribe hosts a Facebook page that is virtually an online club house for stories, pictures, advice, and a variety of other information to be exchanged between members. The group uploads documents for members to access and update on a variety of topics from where the best places to stay/eat/shop in various cities around the globe to conversations about travel do’s and don’ts. Membership is exclusive in the sense that to join you must have at least one international passport stamp. In addition to being a network of international travel advice the group holds regular meets ups in a various cities for members to connect face to face. The members also host Nomad•ness X adventures. Last month a group of members went to Rio de Janiro together and currently a group is in India experiencing Holi together.
What inspired you to start Nomad•ness? I was living in Japan for a year and ten months into my time. I realized no one was going to come visit me so I decided to put my camera and editing skills to use and bring my experience to those back home through a web series and social media, specifically Facebook. Wanting to reconnect with home while living abroad and letting my mother know I was alive was the catalyst for Nomadness TV. Thus, Nomad•ness was born.
What’s special about Nomad•ness? What makes Nomad•ness unique is that it brings the idea of exclusivity to the everyday person. Whether it's the prices of our trips, the tiers of our membership cards, or the entry into the group, This is a family of misfits, unrepresented minorities everyone has a fair shot as long as they have at banding together to experience the world one adventure least one passport stamp. We've given exclusivity at a time raised an impressive $25,275 through a 45 day a different prototype. The members really revere Kickstarter campaign to help spread their movement this that and it's the underlying bond that keeps spring. Sponsored by YRB Magazine and Hotels.com everything in the Tribe family together The Tribe is gearing up for a three week college tour starting April 14th in NYC. The group will head south What are your goals with the movement? making stops in DC, Atlanta, New Orleans, Texas, Nomad•ness will be a lifestyle brand synonymous onwards to the west in Las Vegas, and then ending in with urban travelers. We'll have our own LA. Along the way the group will be sharing their travel television series. Our merchandise will be movement to youth across our nation. Inspiring, 9
available in stores. Our trips will be more today's youth? frequently, yet true to our exclusive, low We are living in a global society. Anyone who numbered format. We'll be respected now just as tells you anything different is completely lost. an online social media group, for travel, but as a The earlier people are exposed to the world, the business startup and group of entrepreneurs. better. Studying the world and seeing it are two We'll be a name that people cannot get away different things, and two different assets to those from. who want to work for companies, just the same as those who want to work for themselves. There's a learning, both internally and externally, What is your advice to aspiring travelers? The same thing that's been my motto for the last that goes on, that no textbook can give you. two years, 'Step out on nothing, and land on something.' Dr. Cornel West was on point with What has been the most memorable thing you have this one. Just go for it. Prioritize your money. learned about yourself/the world/others through Research where it is sensible and cheap to go. your travels? Put your fear in your back pocket long enough to That I'm more resilient than I ever imagined. I just get on the plane and go. blend in more places around the world than I ever knew. When you have a dream, be unwavering with it. How has travel influenced you? Travel is everything. It's a large influence into me becoming the woman I am now. It's everyWhat keeps you going? thing in regards to me becoming an entrepreneur. Life and the fear that I'm not completely living it Through it, I've learned my life path and fully to my greatest potential. I'm very fearful of not embraced my purpose. living my life's purpose, my life's responsibility. Where is the dopest place you have traveled to and why? Such a hard question to answer, especially when considering that I lived in Japan, which is pretty dope. Cambodia comes to mind. I was truly on my Lara Croft when I was out there, and it was breathtaking. I have an affinity for World Wonders and Ruins. The ruins of Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom, and especially Ta Prohm simply blew my mind.
Can you tell me about using Kickstarter to raise money for the RV college tour? This past Kickstarter was my third. I'd do it again if I had to, but the goal is to get investors into the company so that we don't have to. For 45 days my life isn't mine. It's extremely stressful and time consuming. My brain, very literally, has to break from it. It's an adrenaline rush of sorts to see an idea come to fruition and people back you on getting it done. It means everything.
Why do you feel travel is such an importance to
This college tour is happening soon, tell me about it. How was planning it? What are your goals with this adventure? Putting the RV Tour into place was intense. We were scouting schools, raising money on Kickstarter, accumulating sponsors, and trying to keep our sanity all at the same time. It's a learning experience, as it's our first one, and I think we've done pretty damn good juggling it all as first timers. It's been an interesting ride. I know I've driven my team crazy, but I'll be honest, this project has shown me sides of their hustle that even I've never seen before.
Evita “Evie� Robinson 10
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Health & Fitness Eating Healthy on the Go Eating healthy can be a difficult task for anyone who has a hectic schedule. Between work and family obligations, it is easy to cut corners and opt for less healthy, fast options. Dining out or consuming microwavable dinners is one way people save time and satisfy their hunger. Both of these choices Cory Turner, B.S., CFT usually consist of highly processed foods, with an overabundance of fat, sodium, and preservatives. Even the healthier options contain ingredients, such as high levels sodium, that make the meals tastier but considerably less healthy than homemade alternatives prepared with fresh food components. Tips to eating healthy:
Eat breakfast each morning. Eating a healthy
breakfast consisting of cereal, Greek yogurt, or other healthy, low-fat, options sets your mood and energy level for the day. Clear your workspace of unhealthful snack foods such as chips and candy and replace them with fresh fruit, vegetables, and low sodium nuts. Mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks are fine, if they are healthy. The USDA recommends eating 2-4 servings of fruit and 3-5 servings of vegetables daily. Following this recommendation, you should meet many vitamin requirements in addition to requirements for fiber intake. Never skip lunch. Though you feel too busy to eat lunch, if you forgo the meal, you’ll make up for it by eating a larger dinner, which is the last thing you want to do. Always pack your lunch before you leave your house, or even the night before. Healthy dinner leftovers, low sodium tuna sandwiches on whole grain bread, and fruits and vegetables are hunger satisfying and will pacify cravings and the urge to binge later.
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Stay hydrated. Drink water throughout the day.
Eight to ten glasses of water each day are recommended for people with active lifestyles. Water keeps you hydrated and allows your body to cleanse itself of toxins and it serves as a zero-calorie way of making you feel less hungry. Eat a healthy dinner consisting of lean meat, vegetables, and fruit.
There are times that you will eat out at a restaurant, and that is ok. Eating out with co-workers and friends is a way of forming and maintaining relationships so you may not want to completely eliminate this. If you wish, set aside one day a week to indulge for lunch but do so with a plan. Even when traveling, you can plan ahead for healthier choices. Unifiedlifestyle.com offers a free app for both Android and the iPhone that lets users know the nutritional content of meals at over 100 restaurants, including many fast food outlets. Using this app, you can determine the healthiest items on many menus before you go. If you want more information, meal suggestions, and tips for eating healthy, the USDA offers its educational Choose My Plate web site at www.choosemyplate.gov. Bio Cory Turner is a freelance writer and an ISSA Certified Fitness Trainer in New Orleans. A former law enforcement officer and non-profit leader, he has a keen interest in health and fitness, especially in promoting community health and wellness and empowering through improving personal fitness. He can be reached at coturner@fpnola.com.
Health & Fitness Exercise Demos By Gentelle P. Images by: Q. Bleu Photography
Spring Park Exercises 2) While keeping 1) With Back facing surface. Place arms on ledge. Keep legs square as shown.
3) Place body in push up position with chest to ledge using arms to hold up the body.
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back straight, lift body down and then up using arms. Feel the resistance. Repeat for 10-12 reps.
4) Extend arms up and down to lift body like a push up and again feel the resistance. Repeat for 10-12 reps.
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Dispelling the Myths about Hospice Gulf South Hospice would like to take a minute to inform the community about the importance of outpatient hospice. Within this 6 month series of informative articles, Gulf South Hospice hopes to eliminate the myths, phobias, reservations, and even ignorance surrounding hospice care. We can surely agree that hospice can be a difficult subject because our culture is not fond of talking about death and life transitions. We must understand that death happens to everyone, even the ones we love. Hospice is a family and team oriented program that brings comfort to individuals/ patients faced with limited life expectancy. Hospice ensures that the patients last days consists of controlled pain, comfort and constant efforts to preserve their quality of life. Hospice not only involves care for the patient, but it also provides support for his or her family members as well. Hospice care assist families in coping with the life transition of their loved one for we know that losing someone we love is not an easy task. Gulf South Hospice would also like you to know that hospice is not a “death-bed� concierge service. Hospice care consists of a concise plan for the last 6 months (usually longer) of a patients life. Once a patient has been notified of having limited life expectancy, hospice initiates care to relive physical pain and to address life transition needs. Let Gulf South Hospice be at your side for the care of your loved one during their time of need and life transition. The sooner hospice care is initiated, the more comfort your loved one will experience. Let us be there for you. 15
Ask Dr. Ada Dr. Ada Craige Roberson is a dedicated wife, mother and advocate for those in need. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker within the state of Louisiana and holds a doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Ada has a wealth of experience in working with disadvantaged individuals and has taken the term “Life Enhancement” into a whole new meaning within the social services industry. Her ability to truly understand human behavior has allowed her to transform the lives of many individuals, some of which were hopeless in the eyes of society. She loves a good piece of fine chocolate, a good challenge and stimulating activities. If you have an issue you would like to bring to Dr. Ada’s attention please email askdrada@cognitionmagazine.com or make a post on the Ask Dr. Ada page on www.cognitionmagazine.com
Dr. Ada Craige Roberson
N. LUV: I am dating an exotic dancer and she is everything I want in a girlfriend. She is very intellectual and knows how to separate the “stripper” personality from her daytime persona. The money is good, we are living very comfortably and if she stops, this will all end because I don’t make as much as she does (with a white collar job). I have been hiding our relationship for an entire year and we are ready to move forward but I’m afraid of the judgment from my parents because they WILL ask what she does for a living. What should I do? N. LUV, At the end of the day, a committed intimate relationship involves two people, you and your mate. I can only assume that your assumption regarding your parent’s reaction to your girlfriend is accurate, but at the end of the day, you must choose with whom you want to spend your life with. However, I suggest that you really take a look at your own feelings related to your girlfriend. If you truly love your girlfriend, and are truly comfortable with how she earns a living, how is it that you would hide her like a dirty little secret for an entire year? If you truly accept her, why haven’t you stood proudly be her and supported her in spite of any judgment that may come from your parents or anyone else for that matter? Is it her, or the lifestyle that she affords you that you truly desire? Now, let’s be clear…I am not judging you or insinuating anything about your feelings or motives. I am merely recommending that you take an honest look at your feelings regarding your girlfriend and her career choice. If at the end of the day, you can honestly say that you’re not ashamed of her or her career, then take her hand and walk proudly, side by side into your parent’s home and stand by her and your relationship.
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Overly Friendly: I found out that one of my co-workers is HIV+ and I feel like I am being overly friendly to him out of sympathy for his disease. My question is how do I go back to acting “normal” with him? I feel so sad from him. Overly Friendly, When something happens in the life of people that we know and care about, it is not uncommon for us to become more conscious of how we relate to them and how they may be affected by our behavior toward them. It sounds to me like when you discovered the diagnosis of your co-worker, you decided that it was important for you to try to impact their life in a positive way in the mist of something that has the potential to bring about not only ill physical health, but also emotional pain. Thus, you made an effort to be more kind and friendly. Feeling a genuine concern for someone is not a bad thing. The fact that you now have knowledge about your co-worker that you didn’t have before can’t be undone, therefore, you can’t necessarily go “back to acting normal” because what’s normal in the relationship has been impacted by this new information. Without knowing the specifics that you are referring to when you say “overly friendly”, my advice to you would be to make conscious efforts to positively impact the lives of all of those around you so that the friendly is “normal” for you.
Deborah: I am a 30 y/o female gay massage therapist (with a loving partner) and student at UNO working on my undergraduate degree. My mom passed away 6 years ago. I also have always had anxiety issues. I was in therapy for about a year after my mom passed, but my therapist wasn't very good. I would love to find someone to help with the day to day struggles of focus, to help me deal with my grief, and help me take control of my anxiety. Any suggestions on what to do to control my grief and anxiety until I find a therapist? Deborah, As a current student at the University of New Orleans, you are likely eligible to receive short-term personal counseling services through the UNO Counseling and Career Center. I strongly suggest that you look into getting connected with services there as you work to find a more long-term therapist. They may even be able to assist you in your search. Another option may be for you to look into the availability of support groups. At any given time, there are support groups available for any number of issues related to mental and physical well-being. In addition, seeking support from close families and friends is often helpful when struggling with feelings related to grief and loss. Finally, you may want to speak with your primary care physician or a psychiatrist about your history of dealing with anxiety, in an effort to explore whether anti-anxiety medications may be a good option for you.
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Gina Brown... More Than Song
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ognition Magazine takes time out with our girl Gina Brown and trust me, she's more than your average songstress. The singer, mother, cancer survivor, philanthropist and of course DIVA...gives us the latest on what motivates her and Interview by: Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. much more. Images by: Q. Bleu Photography
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high energy party performance most of the time. She CM: How long have you been singing? was GB: According to my mother, I’ve been brought to singing as long as I have been talking. the stage on a scooter CM: Do you come from a family with and could vocal talent? GB: Yes my mother was a gospel musician barely & vocalist. She recorded and performed stand with legendary greats like Andre Crouch, up...it Mahalia Jackson and many other local broke my heart to see her like that. Her gospel artists. Everybody on my mom side show was kind of laid back compared to sang...grandparents and her brothers. mine and people started to walk out on her. She had a meet & greet after and she was CM: How and when did you notice that so mean and nasty. It really hurt me but it taught me also to be grateful for the gift singing was your “thing”? GB: Very early. At all of the family god has given me and thank him daily. functions, birthdays, cookouts you name it, I sang. A pot of red beans on Mondays CM: If Gina could go back in time and would turn into a gathering with me change one thing about her life what dancing and singing. would it be? GB: I would have started singing professionally earlier. CM: Who influenced you the most in your musical career and why? GB: I would have to say my Dad because CM: What was the toughest thing you he was a real music lover although he can’t encountered in life and how did you sing. My house was surrounded with music survive it? all the time. GB: Learning that I would never have kids because of an incompetent uterus, according to doctors. God then blessed me CM: What was your most memorable with my daughter Tyler. performance and why? GB: Was opening up for Etta James at a Convention in San Francisco. I like to CM: What was the toughest thing in entertain people. I have a very interactive your musical career that you had to CM: Who is the songstress that is Gina Brown? GB: That is a title that was given to me by someone else. Gina Brown is a singer that loves what she does.
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encounter? GB: Leaving my daughter to go on an international tour. That was tough for me. CM: There is an abundance of vocal talent in this city. What makes Gina Brown’s style so different from others? GB: I am a former radio/club jock and I incorporate mixes in my stage performances. CM: Who are some of your favorite music icons? GB: The divas of course; Aretha Franklin, Chaka Khan, Gladys Knight.....just to name a few. CM: When you want to go out and enjoy live music, what is your favorite spot and why? GB: Out of town where no one knows me so I can just be a part of the audience. CM: What are some of your favorite foods? GB: Everything as you can see, I’m not missing any meals.....but I haven't had meat in 12 yrs. I only eat seafood. CM: What does Gina do to keep herself healthy? 20
GB: I walk, sing and Dance. I also try to cut back on my sugar intake. CM: What does Gina do to relax and de-stress? GB: Driving. It really helps me think. CM: What is your latest project? GB: My quarterly Cancer Awareness Events. The next event is Friday, April 26th at the Amour of Elegance in New Orleans, La. It is a Girls Nite Out, Pink Passion Party. Come out and enjoy and support breast cancer awareness. For more information, call (404) 840-6276. CM: How can we find out more about Gina Brown? GB: My website: www.ginabrownonline.com, @Ginabrownsings on Facebook/Twitter/ Instagram or just call me!
Love & Relationships The Relationship Fight
we think we have the right to decide who can and cannot be united.
This grey space is a place where you are more than Across the nation we are seeing a friends and share less commitment. It has become fight for tradition; an argument a common thing to hook up with someone, spend lots of time with them, essentially become about who is and who is not emotionally invested and yet never label the supposed to be married. This interaction; is this a self-defense mechanism? fight is bigger than love; it is Truly if you are never in a commitment you cannot about rights, benefits and break up and/or get hurt. Somehow the equality. It sounds really Alanna McCreary non-commitment makes you less obligated to the familiar to a civil rights other individual, or is that just a lie we tell conflict that was held not even a life time ago ourselves to justify satisfying our own needs? within our nation. This is such a fascinating contrast to what is happening within the singles realm, the group that is often hopeful and who this This ambiguous relationship seems to be a great way to get to know someone but after a while it marriage fight actually affects in the long run. becomes the elephant in the room thus leading to Marriage is the end to singlism, and everyone excessive drama. The lack of rules and regardless of their orientation has some end expectations seems to be a way to expedite thoughts, feelings, needs, and goals with that union equality conversation, aka marriage rights. someone getting hurt sooner than if everyone is playing with the same deck of cards, if you know While couples fighting for their rights are publicly what I mean. fighting for the good of our future, single people have more silent gripes. Based out of fear, a lack Our modern day dating is complicated. The goals vary, there are no specific rules, no guidebook, not of knowledge and the age old practice of even a standard way of operating so essentially we self-sabotaging, complaint singles face larger are all doing our own thing and hoping that it problems such as the actual approach to dating, works out in our favor. The fear of labels causes courting, and relationships. We “talk” or “deal” complications for love on so many levels. The fear with potential interests. We string people along until we are ready for more, whatever “more” is to hinders all of us from presenting our best selves us at that particular time. We are inconsistent, we and it serves as a reminder of how far we have play games and we test the other party in hopes of fallen from the course of being and staying a manipulating a situation to our benefit. Gone are traditional society. Labels seem to change things and it is definitely rocking our notion of tradition the days of courting; a dating ritual where two interested parties engage with the goal of marriage and what equality means. in mind. A common trend right now seems to be the “situationship” or existing in a grey space. We For dating or relationship advice email AJ McCreary don’t even know how to value the love that it takes at amccreary@cognitionmagazine.com to want, have, and hold together a marriage, yet 21
Real Thoughts “Fat Chicks” At 5’5” and 200lbs I am what certain disrespectful, aesthetically-brainwashed imbeciles like to call a “fat Chick”. (Yes I do understand that I am a portly young lady, but I’ll NEVER answer to such an offensive moniker as “fat chick”.) It has been brought to my attention that many of these same imbeciles Deanna Theriot believe overweight women have to adhere to a certain protocol unrequired of women who have been deemed “attractive” by the standards of society and must acclimate themselves to being treated poorly. I learned this when my homey lamented an essay length/ style text message he received from one of his jump offs with concern of his proclivity to only contact her outside of regular business hours and his lack of invitations for any public outings. (That much I found hilarious. A woman should know that making any plea for better treatment to a man who has placed her in the bucket of “Booty Call” is as useless as negotiating with a terrorist.) The conversation took an ugly turn when he asserted that she was out of line because as a fat woman she had no leverage to express any desire to be more than a booty call. By his account she’s incredibly lucky to have even been graced with an opportunity to have sex and moreover only attractive women have the right to engage in a casual sex arrangement with a man and later suggest that some formality be invoked. In his petty two-dimensional world, a big girl has to work much harder to prove her value as a possible love interest and giving it up too soon will automatically seal her fate with a man. He went on to rattle out a litany of annoyances he’s had with big women but what probably spoke truest to his incredibly warped theories was his opinion that fat women are not made for him to be seen with in public.
recanted with numerous uneasy versions of “No, I’m not talkin’ about you because…” but all his foreswearing fell on deaf ears. My psychological foundations had already been rocked with the realization that he was indeed talking about me. My pain was compounded however by the thought of how many disgustingly superficial men I’ve allowed to mount my vag who once regarded me the same perverse way. If the concern was “I need someone who expresses the same level of dedication to fitness and nutrition that I do,” there would be no offense but this aversion to fat women was not a mere issue of preference. I prefer a man a man to have a certain credentials myself. I am in no fashion down for a small penis but I don’t feel that those men should crawl beneath my feet as lowly worms. (Pun not intended... not really.) Also, if there’s one thing I know plenty women (especially those “bad Bs” you men covet so) will absolutely not tolerate is a broke nigga, but men are immediately offended by this value. They claim we’re materialistic and miss out on a good man due to our narrow-minded and superficial dating preferences. My broke, fat-girl-disparaging friend (who still lives with his mother) is no different in that protest, but somehow still he finds the gall to deem fat women unworthy of his company.
Isn’t it funny how these mediocre Negroes always seem to have incredibly strict tastes for women that they aren’t even up to par with themselves? I think the root of this unrealistic yearning to have the “baddest” woman alive on one’s arm isn't entirely based on an individually tailored measure of attraction. I believe that the driving force behind this rationale for poor treatment of fat women or too-skinny women or plain women comes from the male ego's need to being seen with someone their peers would covet. He beams with pride when his friends bump his fist in objectifying approval of his woman's figure, but show up to the BBQ with a big girl and everybody turns into Robin Harris. "You shoulda told us ya girl was a big'un—I woulda put a couple more racks of ribs on! You know she The tone of his voice cut like a flaming katana through his gon’ take two plates home—a dinner plate AND a words to make them bleed with a pointed disgust for big some-mo-dinner plate." (Ha, ha, ha... Real funny, mutha women. It was at this juncture in his rant that I decided to fu@!a.) This is especially true if a man is insecure about interject. As soon as I spoke, he suddenly realized to whom any flaws of his own that his peers could use to poke holes he had been venting his fat girl repulsions—a fat girl. He in his manhood. Furthermore, a man's ego most
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though… I mean all those other lazy good-for-nothing niggers”? CERTAINLY could not risk being turned down by a big girl if he did approach her in the same way he would an "attractive" woman. As much as men like my friend may claim a big girl is not on his dating radar, I know for a fact that these dudes be checking for us. All big girls may not look good in a skin-tight bandage dress but this doesn’t mean we can’t be confident, bold, witty, strong and sexy as all hell. Because we didn't always have family, friends and suitors constantly singing our aesthetic praises, we were charged with the difficult task of forging our own sense of self-worth. The kind of confidence a big girl has is that kind that is hard not to notice. Men are drawn to this confidence but God forbid that they should have to take that walk of shame back to a table surrounded by their uproarious homies after being brutally rebuffed by a fatty. Unfortunately for us big girls it seems that there are just too many men wading through the dating pool who need to be seen with a certain kind of woman so that they may prop up their fragile male egos on an ample shapely behind.
Yes, I am quite aware that we big girls have a weight problem. In spite of our struggles with our health, however, we still deserve to be treated with respect. All human beings are flawed but we just have the kind of “flaw” that is more readily apparent than others. A man with an unfavorably sized member doesn’t have to worry about that affecting a woman’s initial decision to date him. A “beautiful” woman can hide her psychotic, manipulative and controlling nature long enough to get her hooks in a man real deep, but big girls are judged harshly straight through the door. *Sigh* These cats have no idea what they’ve been missing out on. Walk with those heads up high, you big beautiful foxes, and don’t settle for a damn thing. P.S.: For those of who may be wondering, I haven’t spoken to my homey since then and this incident occurred about a month ago. I used to talk to him every day and sometimes more than once a day but he has caused me to view him through a much less filtered lens and I need time to assess our friendship. You may now be wondering, “If he said he wasn’t talking about you personally and would never suggest that you should be treated that way, why is what he said grounds to end a relationship that’s been so good for so long?” Now THAT is the question that I most needed an answer for myself and I’ll answer it with another question. If you’re black and you have any white friends that you’ve had fun-filled, supportive relationships with for years, what if you found out that one of those white friends was vehemently racist? Then what if you confronted him about how his unfounded prejudice against your people 23made you feel and he said “I don’t mean you
What Blacks Should Know
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The Color of Depression
epression affects at least 1in 6 people and can make a person's life a sad affair. It can make life very difficult. Depression is more than life’s typical “ups” and “downs.” As R&B Grammy winner says, "Life is full of joy and pain, happiness and sorrow." It is normal to feel sad when a loved one dies, when you are sick, going through a divorce, or having financial problems. But for some people the sadness does not go away, or it keeps recurring. If the “blues” last more than a few weeks or cause one to struggle with daily life, you may be suffering from depression. Depression is not a personal weakness it is a common, yet serious, medical illness. Depression is a “whole-body” illness that affects your mood, thoughts, body and behavior. Without treatment, symptoms can last for an undefined amount of time. Depression can affect anyone. A person can experience depression, regardless of race, gender, age, creed or income. In fact, every year more than 19 million Americans suffer from some type of depressive illness and according to a Surgeon General report, African Americans are over-represented in populations that are particularly at risk for mental illness Depression robs people of the enjoyment found in daily life and can even lead to suicide. A common myth about depression is that it is “normal” for certain people to feel depressed— elderly people, teenagers, new mothers, menopausal women, and/or those with a chronic illness. The truth is that depression 24
By: Lavonia Perryman Adjunct professor Detroit, Michigan
is not a normal part of life for any African American, regardless of age or life situation. Unfortunately, depression has often been misdiagnosed in the African American community. The myths and stigma that surround depression create needless pain and confusion, and can keep people from getting proper treatment. The following statements reflect some common misconceptions about African Americans and depression: “Why are you depressed? If our people could make it through slavery, we can make it through anything.” “When a black woman suffers from a mental disorder, the opinion is that she is weak. And weakness in black women is intolerable.” “You should take your troubles to Jesus, not some stranger/psychiatrist.” Getting help is a sign of strength. People with depression can’t just “snap out of it.” Spiritual support can be an important part of healing, but the care of a qualified mental health professional is essential. The earlier treatment begins the more effective it can be. What causes depression? Many factors can contribute to depression. Often, people become depressed for no apparent reason. In an effort to cope with the emotional pain caused by depression, some people try to “self-medicate” through the abuse of alcohol or illegal drugs, which only leads to more problems. The good news is that, like other illnesses such as heart disease or diabetes, depression is treatable with the help of a health care professional. In fact, over 80 percent of people with depression can be treated successfully. However due to cultural backgrounds, depression may be exhibited differently among African Americans.
To help decide if you—or someone you care about—needs an evaluation for depression, review the following list of symptoms. (If you experience five or more for longer than two weeks, if you feel suicidal, or if the symptoms interfere with your daily routine, see your doctor.)
A persistent sad, anxious or “empty” mood or excessive
crying. Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased appetite and weight gain. Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain Irritability, restlessness Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling “slowed down”. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism. Sleeping too much or too little, early-morning waking. Loss of interest or pleasure in activities, including sex. Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions. Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts.
The most common ways to treat depression are with antidepressant medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two. The choice of treatment depends on how severe the depressive symptoms are and the history of the illness. In addition to treatment, participation in a patient support group can be very helpful during the recovery process. Support group members share their experiences with the illness, learn coping skills and exchange information on community providers. Also, be sure to take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, exercise in moderation, stay away from alcohol and drugs, and eat regular, well-balanced meals. Some find strength from faith or spiritual communities. What if a person doesn't feel comfortable talking to a doctor? Many people find strength and support through their religious and spiritual communities, however, only a physician or mental health professional is able to diagnose depression. Pastoral counselors offer integrated religious and spiritual approaches to treatment. If you don’t have insurance or can’t afford treatment, your community may have publicly-funded mental health centers or programs that charge you according to what you can afford to pay. Some mental health professionals in private practice also work on a sliding-fee basis. University or teaching medical centers can be a source of low-cost or free treatment services. Many publicly-funded entities have waiting lists or other barriers to treatment. If you have trouble accessing treatment, contact your local mental health association (MHA) for assistance. Depression is not a life sentence. You can enjoy your life again! With proper diagnosis and treatment, depression can be managed. Resource: Medical Health Association Center for Disease Control
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Sexual Health 12 Natural Libido Boosters Our body is never this static machine that will always maintain a fixed cycle, but rather something that’s always changing, developing and growing. Our sex lives, dictated by our sexuality, is no different, because our libidos and attitudes towards sex are always Paris Hughes evolving. Our libidos awaken and we enjoy it as it thrives. However, we dread the moments when our libidos seem to fall asleep on us. Life events, body changes, medications, negative thoughts, bad feelings, or rough times in our committed relationships may bring on a lowered libido. Below are twelve ways to boost your libido: 1) Eat healthy, take vitamins. It’s important to eat a well balanced meal everyday consisting of fruits, vegetables and protein, in order to get the vitamins necessary for maintaining a healthy sexual appetite. Taking vitamins, such as B5 and Vitamin C, and daily supplements of gingko biloba will also help. 2) Maybe you can blame it on the alcohol? It’s understandable that many people will have a glass of wine before sex because it may loosen you up a little and we all know that alcohol is great for banishing inhibitions. So it makes sense that alcohol will lead to better sex, right? Not necessarily. A glass of wine is fine but people seem to forget that alcohol is a depressant not a stimulant, in high doses. Drinking too much can cause you to become too tired for sexual activity and can zap the stamina out of you. 3) Put down the cigarette! Do you smoke? We’ve all heard all the damage cigarettes can do, from damaging teeth and raising blood pressure, to causing cancers. If those risks don’t motivate you enough to buy the gum or the patch, then add this to your list; since
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smoking affects blood flow, men who smoke are more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. 4) Learn to control your stress levels. When you worry about children, work, and everything else that must be done in the week, it’s hard for your brain to “shut off” once you’re in the bedroom, making you less likely to be fully engaged in an intimate evening with your partner (if you want to want to even engage in sex at all). Learn techniques in order to better handle and relieve stress. 5) Try these foods, get lusty. We’ve all heard about aphrodisiacs which are known to heighten sexual desire. Why do you think people love to feed their lovers chocolate covered strawberries? Both strawberries and chocolate are one of the most famous aphrodisiacs. Other known aphrodisiacs include celery, raw oysters, liver, coffee, eggs, garlic, bananas. Try some. 6) Put the spice back into the bedroom. Boosting your libido is not just about what you put into your body, but what you surround yourself with. We must create an atmosphere for sex. Use candles, dimmed lights, and arousing scents to set the mood. Also, make it an activity to shop for the supplies (and other fun stuff) at an adult novelty shop can be a fun and arousing adventure for both you and your partner. 7) Get rid of bedroom distractions. Sometimes it’s about getting rid of stuff that may turn into an easy distraction from sex. For some people, temporarily turning away pictures of kids and family members may help because it feels like they’re “staring” at you. Curious pets can be taken out of the room also. Get rid of anything that came from your job and keep it in another part of the house because thinking of
work responsibilities can be the biggest mood killer. 8) Your mood killer lurks in your medicine cabinet. You won’t believe how many medications that we take on a regular basis can decrease our sex drive. Look up their side effects and I guarantee you’ll find a culprit to explain why your libido may feel like it’s getting smothered. This is especially true if you’re taking oral contraceptives and high blood pressure medications. And for God’s sakes, can somebody come up with just one anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication that doesn’t kill the mood? That would be great for a lot of us. 9) Ride your bike for your heart and do sit-ups for your genitals. Exercise does enough to keep you healthy and in great shape (which can boost self-esteem, which in turn makes you feel sexier). Strength and resistance training helps to improve sexual stamina, boosts energy and increases testosterone levels. 10) Spend time caressing/touching/doing anything that doesn’t involve the genitals. See how long you can remain in foreplay without intercourse. Only engaging in foreplay you ask? Yes! There are benefits to this idea. First, touching, cuddling, and sensual massages boost oxytocin levels in the brain, which is great for sex drive. Second, don’t think of it as holding off from sex, but instead as an erotic tease. Humans will always want more of what they can’t have. And third, it’s important to understand that sex is more than just the genitals and intercourse. Exploring and paying more attention to the various erogenous zones on your partner’s body boosts each other’s libidos and allows for discovery of new bedroom experiences. 11) Tell your partner what you like in bed; they’re dying to know. It’s been reported before that people who are more assertive about their wants in the bedroom receive more satisfying sex and more orgasm. You want better sex, speak up! If there’s something you like or 27
want to try, just say it. When you take charge of your body and learn better communication skills, you not only boost your libido, you boost your self-confidence. In speaking of confidence… 12) Self-confidence: Feel sexy, get sexy! It’s been said that the greatest sexual organ is the brain and it’s true! When you feel sexy, you become sexy and then be sexual. In order to enjoy a better sex life, you have to feel comfortable as a sexual being, something that is a challenge for many of us. Take the time to love yourself and build your confidence. A loving partner that doesn’t forget to let you know he or she finds you desirable also helps in boosting confidence. Find this confidence within yourself by learning what makes you desirable. In order to enhance your sex life, it’s important to find ways to make you feel sexy and confident with yourself as a sexual being.
Back to Black A Chat with
Keedy Black Interview by: Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Images by: Q. Bleu Photography 28 Santa Fe Tapas Location:
city. She states that “I actually have a group ‘The Black Dolls’ which is all female from ages 7-17. I teach them dance…no bounce and we march in parades.” Keshawn tells me that her group is more than just dance because she mentors them on personal hygiene, positive self image, academic success and being a lady in 2013. The rapper also uses her popular image as “Keedy Black” to promote non-violence with her Step Out and Stomp the Violence March. “On the last Saturday of every year (and this will be my third year) we march in memory of the kids and women that were lost to violence. I invite everyone out and it’s a movement that brings me back to the civil rights marches. We want the citizens to see that we are serious about taking our community back.” e have been hearing so much about rapper Keshawn ventured off into entrepreneurship by first Keedy Black and what she has been doing starting her nursery and transportation service. Now she is in and outside of the studio. Cognition Magazine’s Chief launching her own t-shirt line in May 2013. Harris again Editor arranged a sit-down chat with Keedy as herself, uses her popular image as “Keedy Black” to inspire and Keshawn Harris. We shared a round of the infamous “Bill uplift. In reference to the design of her shirts she states Cozby” margaritas at Santa Fe Tapas on St. Charles that “I’m going to start off with my quotes as an artist Avenue as we ‘Rock My talked about World,’ ‘Go motherhood, rap, Hammer,’ and violence and life stuff like that but after the death of then it will lead local rapper to my other line Magnolia Shorty. of ‘Blessed and Keedy or Beyond’ shirts.” Keshawn was After our very close with meeting she the rapper whom shared with me was murdered in privately about a drive by shooting in 2010. Speaking on life after the the loss of her boyfriend and mother which occurred days tragic death of her close friend, Keshawn explains “It’s apart. kind of difficult but the more success I make, the more I know she is proud…it’s like I’m carrying the torch.” After hearing what she has been through versus the things she is doing now, I realized she is the perfect person to The performances, venues, fans, and the memories of motivate others. When asked about her help/support and Shorty keep her encouraged to go on, especially since she source of strength Keshawn states “Im a praying soldier. I has been rapping since the age of 9. Now being a mother just pray for balance every day.” To find out more about and community advocate, Keshawn’s focus is promoting Keshawn Harris aka “Keedy Black” visit her website non-violence and positive self image, which can be a www.keedyblack.com where you can find out more about contrast to some of her former songs.“My music is for her upcoming album and performances, as well as other grown-ups. If you ask my daughter to sing my songs, current projects. she’ll tell you ‘I can’t say that’…It is up to us as adults to tell our children right from wrong.” We laughed for a minute because she tells us that her friends often tease her about the content of her raps being so different from her relaxed yet professional persona. I had the pleasure of hearing her speak at a health fair and she is a relatable public speaker as well as a mentor to a lot of girls in the
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“The more success I make, the more I know she is proud…it’s like I’m carrying the torch
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Events BUKU Fest 2013
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Buku Fest also launched an app which contained detailed festival & artist information. Overall the he exuberant festival, which grows larger by the Buku year, is not one to be missed and should be Music + Art experienced by every New Orleans native that is project was held looking for a contrast to the typical music at Mardi Gras festival. World in New Orleans, LA on March 8th -9th. The festival was definitely an eclectic and creative experience that drew thousands to the large festival grounds. The fest contained over 4 stages and even the Creole Queen Riverboat that transformed into the Heineken VIP S.S. Buku. Headliners such as Kid Cudi, Public Enemy, Kendrick Lamar, Calvin Harris, and Flying Lotus performed for anxious and energetic crowds. The festival, no different from other NOLA festivals contained a variety of food, beverage and artwork vendors. The festival even displayed graffiti artwork for sale and a host of glow in the dark items for crowd amusement. The Festival contained cool interactive features such as a social media posting center and checkpoint towers where fest-goers can scan their wristbands and find where others are.
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Be Inspired
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Are We Really Inspired?
e often say that we are inspired. Whether by the many actions and successes of others or positive messages we hear we get inspiration yet we give little thought to what “inspired” really means. Webster says the word inspired means to be aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something. Annette Jones-Ward, M.A. After reading the definition, there were 3 words that really jumped out to me, “To do something.” When one has become inspired, that leads to action which will ultimately lead to one’s success. When you’ve sat and listened to the powerful words of a motivational speaker such as our Great President, and his speech was filled with the theme of “Yes We Can”, we walked away feeling inspired as if all things we were capable of doing. When you reflect on the life of someone great such as Oprah Winfrey, we feel inspired to do great things realizing success is not as farfetched as it may seem. Just as the words and successes of others may inspire us, there’s a lot of encouraging and inspiring we must do for ourselves. What about those times when no one is patting you on the back saying “aw you can do it” and you’re left alone with your own thoughts? That’s a time you must “Conquer your EneME’s (internal enemy…Get the book)”, overcome your fears and encourage yourself to greatness. It’s time you recognize your God given potentials and talents and use them to propel you into the great spaces God has created for you. Each of your lives has a custom-made purpose that God has designed for you that is needed here on earth. Whatever and whoever it is that gets you inspired, gravitate more towards it. God tells you that you have within he who is greater than that which is in the world and that we can do “all” things thru him because he strengthens you. This simply means that you have the power within you to accomplish and attain everything your heart desires. 31
Ferdinand Foch said “The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” So stir up the gift that lies within you so those things that you dream about will be brought into fruition. Remember your thoughts form your speech which forms your actions which determines your life. Paul told us how though he was incarcerated, he “thought” himself happy, and therefore he was happy. God “said” let there be…and there was. This demonstrates the power of positive thoughts and speech. Where are your thoughts leading you? What are you speaking and giving life to? You are the author of your life….make it a happily ever after!
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