May 2012

MAY 2012

COGNITION MAGAZINE

Tips 2 Get Your Money Up This Summer

Message To Those Momma's Boys...

WHO WILL BE THE NEXT VICTIM??? ...If we DONT take a stand

Just How Influenced Are Brides by Reality TV???

One Step Closer Justice for Trayvon

Relaxation + Mom

Busy moms get fit right at home!

Find out how inside...

CONTRIBUTING

Writers Darrin L. Harris Deanna Theriot Dr. Ada C. Roberson Robyne Boyce Shawniece “QB� McMillan Lyiena McMillain Rachel Kostelec Jayln Vaughn Quanta Cabral Shaun G. Simon Founder/CHIEF EDITOR Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr.

For Advertising Information contact

Cognition Magazine, LLC is a thought provoking digital magazine dedicated to the new age mind, body, and soul of black America with emphasis on wellness and psychological well being. Cognition Magazine touches on subjects that we all can relate to such as Love & Relationships, Health & Fitness, Entertainment, and Travel & Leisure.

The goal of this magazine is to highlight the significant thoughts and mental strategies used in all of our daily activities and life events. Cognition Magazine is intended to be a publication that exposes our thoughts and innermost feelings on various topics that appeal to the African American community.

Cognition Magazine is distributed monthly and is

available in digital format.

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Cognition Magazine, LLC 3308 Tulane Avenue Ste. 303 New Orleans, Louisiana 70119 Phone: (504) 208-0704 Email: advertising@cognitionmagazine.com

Website: www.cognitionmagazine.com

Reproduction of any part of this publication without the express written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited, Cognition Magazine is a product of Cognition Magazine, LLC . The information within this publication is believed to be accurate but Cognition Magazine does not guarantee accuracy.

Cognition Magazine, LLC will not be held responsible for the quality or performance of goods and services provided by advertisers or any other portion of this publication.

CONTENTS Cover Story Justice for Trayvon ~23~

Editors Note ~4~ Entertainment & Fashion ~6~ “Be for Real” ~10~ Ask Dr. Ada ~12~

Featured Articles Wedding Reality = Nuptial Nightmare ~21~

Health & Fitness ~16~ Love & Relationships Thoughts after Dark w/ QB ~22~

Mind on Money ~24~ Did My Mom Just Add Me On Facebook? Parents & Social Media. ~26~

Be Inspired ~25~ Technology ~26~

Real Relaxations ~17~

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From the Editor May is such a month of transition. May contains a lot of graduations/promotional exercises, transition into summer, changing of positions, and also Mothers day. We at Cognition Magazine, LLC have dedicated this issue to Embrace “HER”, the feminine energy that does it all.

She cooks, cleans, heals, wipes noses, and even “Stains and polyurethanes” as Jill Scott mentions in one of her songs.

I couldn't think of a better way to embrace her than to dedicate this issue to the almighty woman. We also want you to keep in mind the family of Trayvon Martin and the significance of this case. We cant give up the fight for equality because if we do, another innocent minority life can be taken (as our cover indicates). I hope you enjoy this issue and stay engaged with us for further issues especially because ITS FREE lol!

Enjoy and provide any feed back, were tough! Happy reading and don’t forget to love, celebrate and embrace “HER.” Yours in #WELLNESS, Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Founder & Chief Editor marmstrong@cognitionmagazine.com Follow us on twitter: @cognition_mag

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Entertainment & Fashion

Beyonce ‘s Letter to FLOTUS...

Minaj Has A Twitter Breakdown???

Beyonce

The music ICON took a break from Motherhood to write a letter to

Michelle Obama. It is not only cute, but real the First Lady

Nicki Minaj was at

classy of Bey Bey....Check out the letter:

Diddy Tops Forbes Five Sean "Diddy" Combs raked in the most $$$$ so far in 2012.

Diddy makes the top of Forbes list , because his fortune is worth $550 million. The rest of the list goes as follows: The Forbes Five 2012: 1) Sean “Diddy” Combs $550 million 2) Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter $460 million 3) Andre “Dr. Dre” Young $270 million 4) Bryan “Birdman” Williams $125 million 5) Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson $100 million

Lyiena or La from

A Dose of LA gives you the news with a twist for Cogntion Mag. Not only does she bring you the news to keep you informed, but she writes pieces to inspire and uplift her readers. She's a Writer, Rapper, Blogger, Public Speaker and a Socialite. You can catch her at a hip hop show, promoting events, updating blogs, volunteering in her church and evangelizing in the community. Follow her on Twitter @lanino_brown Intel courtesy of : adoseofla.blogspot.com

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war on Twitter.com on 4/15/12 with her Super Fans. Apparently one of her number one fans, who owns the site NickiDaily.com tweeted/ leaked a snippet of one of her songs from her recent released sophomore album "Roman Reloaded." This enraged Nicki and caused her to block the fan. The blocking incident resulted into her fans clashing against each other. Some took Nicki's side, some took the fans side. Nicki stressed over it all, temporarily deleted her Twitter page. Check out her tweets below:

Best & Worst Paid Doctors in the Game:

10 HIGEST PAID PHYSICIANS

10 LOWEST PAID PHYSICIANS

1.

Radiologists: $315,000

1.

Pediatricians: $156,000

2.

Orthopedic surgeons: $315,000

2.

Family medicine doctors: $158,000

3.

Cardiologists: $314,000

3.

Internal medicine doctors: $165,000

4.

Anesthesiologists: $309,000

4.

Diabeticians/Endocrinologists: $168,000

5.

Urologists: $309,000

5.

Psychiatrists: $170,000

6.

Gastroenterologists: $303,000

6.

HIV/infectious disease specialists: $170,000

7.

Oncologists: $295,000

7.

Rheumatologists: $180,000

8.

Dermatologists: $283,000

8.

Neurologists: $184,000

9.

Plastic surgeons: $270,000

9.

Nephrologists: $209,000

10. Ophthalmologists: $270,000

10. Ob-gyns: $220,000

SOURCE: WebMD/Medscape Physician Compensation Survey, 2012.

The G-SPOT App….???... Yes we're serious Yes you heard us correctly. There is now a n application available that allows one to locate the infamous “G-Spot”. The app , wich is available for both Android and iphone uses sonar technology to map the vaginal area to locate the super sensitive area . The app can give verbal directions or display a 3 dimensional touch sensitive map . For a small upgrade fee the app is available for unlimited use and can store information for up to 1,024 vaginas. Sounds interesting ...HAPPY HUNTING (I guess).

Drug Overdose Anecdote has Potential to Save Lives Drug overdose anecdote known by its brand name of Narcan (Naloxone) is designed to counter the effects of opiates such as herion, OxyContin and other pain killers . Emergency responders have been using this drug for years to revive those whom have overdosed on opiates but recently over the years public health officials have been distributing this drug for free to known drug users , their loved ones, and first responders such as police and firefighters. This program initiated in Chicago during 1996 by the Harm Reduction Coalition , a group designed to reduce the effects of drug usage. Researchers predict that due to the giveaways more than 10,000 lives have been saved. Skeptics of the drug believe that regular use of the anecdote or Narcan will reduce the likelihood of drug treatment. Narcan does not have any effect for alcohol or cocaine overdoses but only for opiate overdoses. It blocks certain drug receptors in the brain. Countries such as Britan, Ukrane, Russia and Kazakhstan have now begun distributing the drug to the public.

(Photo courtesy of nursing4n00bs.tumblr.com ) 7

OUR NEWS

According to Web MD’s Annual Physician Compensation Survey, MD’s are earning less and stressing more. 46% of physicians reported that if they had to do it all over again, they would not have chosen medicine as a career. Below are the lists of higest and lowest paid medical doctors.

Mothers Day G

Specia ee s kn dres k n 5 Pi ngth r $7 le de un

Flower print clutch w/ straps Under $ 30

arl l Pe t e t s Pa racele 0 B er $2 d Un

Orange & Turquoise ring under $15

Pink flower & heart ring Under $15

Camel suede studded Satchel style purse Under $50

w/ el s e h d ige d stu 40 e B ol r $ g de Un

Strappy sandal heel Under $4 0

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Gift Ideas for that

al Woman ... se Pur s i eL ur D s e l F tud 0 s w/ er $3 d Un

Jade Tun ic suede be with aded tie/strap under $50

White Fleur D e Lis band wat ch Under $40

rint rd p c h a p o Le le wat bang r $40 e Und

d de d stu l t 0 e t s le 3 Pa ace r $ br nde U

Flower &

Heart ring Under $ 15

er ath e l fle ruf ndal k Pin ng sa 40 tho der $ Un

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Be for Real

MESSAGE TO THE MOMMAS BOYS Hey fellas…

How many of you out there love your mama? How many of you REALLY love the woman who gave birth to you?

That’s good. Now how many of you have taken that love to a level of inappropriateness? How many of you still let your mothers take on the responsibility of your everyday decisionmaking? How many of you still have your mothers making your doctor appointments and signing you up for online bill pay? Yes. Today I’m asking YOU to be for real—the “Mama’s Boys.”

just about everybody who spoke and unkind word to his beloved Mama. Then when she died the grief drove him to a tyrannical insanity that lead him to take countless more civilian lives (to honor her memory, I assume). Jim Jones and Eddie Griffin confirmed their mama's boy statuses on reality TV and look at what extraordinarily coontastic things they’ve accomplished! Jim Jones has made numerous mediocre but well-known attempts at making music. (He got his emcee skills from his Moms, ya know.) Eddie Griffin is a paid actor/ comedian and he ain’t even funny! But their overall mediocrity doesn’t quite prove their Mama’s Boy status. No, their mothers’ heavy involvement in their personal lives even though they’re grown ass men is evidence of While it is true that that fact. Jim Jones allows his mother mothers can be demanding of our undivided adoration at to play an active role in his romantic relationship and extimes, the logical ones know that umbilical cords have a pects his woman to just take it. Eddie Griffin (a grown ass developmental expiration date. For those of you young single man) moved his mother in his house because he men who suffer from an unchecked Oedipal Complex (i.e., can’t quite manage without her there to guide him mean“Mama’s Boys”), your mother decided to skip that vital while he has upwards of 10 children spread out across the lesson in autonomy. Maybe Mama feared that the world’s contiguous United States. A man who is still a child himcoldness would ruin you if she didn’t protect you from it. self can’t be expected to function well as a father but I’m Maybe she couldn’t bear the thought of you turning into sure he didn’t consider all that when he was beating and “every other no-good man out there runnin’ wild in the skeeting from coast to coast. These men are prime examstreets (your good-for-nothin paw included).” Maybe she ples of what becomes of black men when their mothers didn’t want to risk giving you the chance to leave her all blur the boundaries between son and stand-in husband. alone once she got old thus less socially valuable. Whatever the cause, Moms held on too tight and now you, a Lets be for real! Your son is not some perfect little grown ass man, are still her little baby boy, frozen in time prince to be coddled and appeased of his every whim. Furby your either positively or negatively reinforced immatur- thermore (for you single mothers) your little prince is not ity. She probably still has you with no hair on your face. to be molded in the image of your ideal husband and he is (“You have such a handsome face, baby. Mama hates it most CERTAINLY not to be awarded the privileges of when you let all that nasty hair cover it up. Lookin’ like your would-be “man of the house.” Your son is not an one of those dirty no good old men…”) Of course you like opportunity to create fantasy world in which you can reenall your mother’s suggestions. Hell, you need em to suract the unconditional loving relationship you always vive! How would you know what to eat, what to wear or wished you could have with a man. He is a little dude that what woman to be with if Moms did not direct your path? must be RAISED into manhood and that comes with learnThe answer is that you probably wouldn’t because she ing to stand on his OWN TWO FEET. It really burns my never really bothered to be quiet long enough to let you grits when women rob their sons of that independence out think these things through on your own.Now my criticisms of fear or worse, outright selfishness. Hmph… I ain’t judgaren’t to suggest that all mama’s boys turn out to be failing but I’m assessing the hell out of you broads.

10 ures or wholly unworthy of note. Shaka Zulu was a mama’s boy (according to mini-series lore) and he killed

will take just about anything at this point, but on your Deanna Theriot tireless search for joog, there are a few kinds of men that you could stand to avoid regardless of your level of desperation and the Mama’s Boy is right up at the top of Writer for “Be for that list. Not only would you have to deal with his inseReal” section curity, stubbornness and childishness but you will also have to do battle with the mother herself. No matter what the instance, when it comes down to you and him, Bio: Do you ever Moms ALWAYS has the last word. Don’t look to your think to yourself: mama’s boy for support either because all he’s gonna do is “Amen” on every syllable. Why, you ask? Because Damn, I wish I had whatever Mama says goes. Damn, what you think about somebody in my life how you deserved to be treated. MAMA gone tell you who had the gall and the vocabulary to read me how the hell you deserve to be treated… you sonstealing heifa. my rights but simultaneously send me flying into At the end of the day though… I don’t have any kids. I don’t have any, much less all, the answers when it comes to parenting “the right way” (if such a thing even exists), but I do know an unhealthy co-dependent relationship when I see one. I also can very plainly see the negative effects it can have on ANY child, not just boys.

(Yes, I’m talking to you daddy’s girls too.) Even in our non-maternal relationships, holding on too tightly to any human being is the quickest way to set one’s emotional well-being up for failure. Mothers (single mothers especially), I know it gets lonely raising those boys the best you can, sacrificing your needs for theirs ,and sometimes when you look around it seems like your kids are all you have. I know sometimes your sons become your “little men.” They want to take care of their mothers and love them and protect them just like a good man is supposed to, but as a mother you have to establish the boundary between being a good son and being an ineffectual, makeshift husband. If you relish in those behaviors in lieu of directing them you will only find yourself with a 40 year-old man-child with no desire to move beyond the same back room he’s been in since the day he was brought to this Earth. THAT kind of man can’t be a good man to ANYBODY—you included. While you’re still in need of a REAL man to fulfill your needs, he’ll now look to you as the woman in HIS life and will expect you (his mother) to behave accordingly. After all…. That IS what you wanted, right?

a state self-reflection with directness, fairness and wisdom? Somebody who spurns hypocrisy by relating to others through real life experiences born of her own (numerous) imperfections?

Someone who’s kind of a jerk but in an endearing way? Then Reader look no further, for I, DDT, have arrived to save your day from mildness, denial and sugar-coatings of all kinds. When the tiny box of recycled pop psych drivel becomes too crowded, I invite you to stop in and see me for a dose of colorful social commentary on black life as it is and not as it is purported to be.

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Be for Real

And a real quick sidebar with all my single ladies: I know some of you are hard up for a man and

Ask Dr. Ada

Why do I accept anybody that comes in my life that acts like they want to love me but then I end up being used every time? Please help me figure this out Dr. Ada? - Miss Confusion

Miss Confusion,

G

iven the fact that we haven’t met and I don’t really know your background, I can’t really in good conscious tell you why I you love men that mistreat you, however I can speak to patterns that I often see in therapy with women who make choices similar to yours. The decision to choose to be with a mate who mistreats you is often related to a women’s self-esteem.

Self-esteem reflects a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value. It is a personality trait that is developed throughout our entire lives. Things that we experience in life can impact our selfesteem positively or negatively. Women with low self-esteem, or a low sense of self-worth and personal value, often settle for men who mistreat them because subconsciously (or sometimes consciously), they don’t believe that they are worthy of anything better. If this is you, there are any books related to improving your self-esteem that could be a good place for you to begin to learn how to see yourself as the worthy person that you are. You may also choose to seek therapy or participate in a self-help support group that may assist you in freeing yourself from the cycle of unhealthy relationships that you have been engaging in. Just know…you deserve to be loved and respected. The key to a different life is to live differently!

Self-esteem reflects a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value.

Why the hell does it take so long for someone to come out of a parking spot when they know darn well you are waiting for it. This always baffles me and I think it's ridiculous!

- Mario Mario,

H

ave you ever heard the saying “patience is a virtue”? The ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset is a valuable quality in a person. While we can’t change everything that happens around us, we can choose how we react to what happens around us. I would suggest that you work on your patience, give yourself adequate time to be someplace so that you aren’t anxious when it takes a few minutes longer than you expected to find a parking space, and focus on the things that you can change, while accepting the things that you can’t. Hope this helps :)

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I Liz,

t sounds to me like you may be depressed. I want you to know that it is not uncommon for people who have lived through even one of the events that you have described, to become depressed. I believe that your depressed feelings are a normal reaction to the traumatic events that you have survived over the past several months. I would suggest seeking treatment from a qualified mental health professional as an important step on the road to recovery. Treatments like psychotherapy and medication, if needed, require the input of a knowledgeable health care professional. However, there are some things that you can do on your own to help you cope with depression. A few self-help strategies that I recommend are: 1) Exercising – Researchers have found that physical activity can work as well as antidepressants in reducing fatigue and helping you feel energized and alive. Exercise can actually prompt the release of calming and moodenhancing hormones in the body; 2) Getting at least seven to nine hours of sleep – Lack of sleep can make you feel fatigued and irritable, creating or enhancing feelings of depression; 3) Eating well – Research has shown that a poor diet can alter your mood considerably. Experts recommend that you follow a diet that is high in fiber and low in fats by eating plenty of fruits and vegetables. Furthermore, many types of fish and other foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, as well as B vitamins and chromium have been shown to improve mood. Finally, avoid skipping meals because being hungry can leave you tired and cranky; and, 4) Living – Getting out with friends and family, and participating in social activities can go a long way towards helping you feel supported. It may even lead to a few laughs, which I am sure you can use. When people feel depressed, it is not uncommon for them to isolate themselves and retreat into their own space. However, isolation just adds to the depression. It may even be good for you to join a support group for survivors of suicide where you can talk out your emotions and gain insight from others. It is important that you understand that the self-help strategies that I presented may not completely cure your depression, but they can have a positive impact on both your physical and mental health, and may offer you some hope.

Ask Dr. Ada

Dr. Ada, I am very confused on how to move forward and I feel I have lost a lot of motivation.

I had a miscarriage at 4 months of pregnancy, the company I worked for closed down on me, and to top things off my mother committed suicide by shooting herself. All these things have happened within the past 9 months and I feel cursed and severely damaged. How do I get back my motivation for life and move on?

- Liz C

Dr. Ada Craig Roberson is a dedicated wife, mother and advocate for those in need. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker within the state of Louisiana and holds a Doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Ada has a wealth of experience in working with disadvantaged individuals and has taken the term “Life Enhancement” into a whole new meaning within the social services industry. Her ability to truly understand human behavior has allowed her to transform the lives of many individuals, some of which were hopeless in the eyes of society. She loves a good piece of fine chocolate, a good challenge and stimulating activities. If you have an issue you would like to bring to Dr. Ada’s attention please email askdrada@cognitionmagazine.com or make a post on the Ask Dr. Ada page on www.cognitionmagazine.com

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Want to Get Fit but TOO BUSY?

Health & Fitness

Easy Exercises for The BUSY Woman Cognition Magazine teams up with urban fitness expert Gentelle Pedescleaux as she shows us shows how everyday women especially single moms can get fit right at home.

Chair Side Squats 1

2

First grab any chair that you feel comfortable using.

Bend knees and squat.

Rotate sides and repeat.

Chair Bicep Curls 1

Place one knee on the chair.

2

Lift the arm opposite of the knee placed in chair and lift arm. Weights would be helpful during this exercise.

Alternate sides.

Bicep Lifts (Using Weights) Spread legs out slightly wider than shoulder length apart and lift both arms straight in the air.

1

2

Bend elbows down from the air as demonstrated in the photo

3

Turn hips to the side and continue the exercise and don't forget to alternate sides.

Chair Press w/ Leg & Butt Lifts

1 Place abdomen on char and let legs and harms hang off the edges as shown in Demonstration.

2

3

Lift legs in air feeling the tension in buttocks and upper legs.

Repeat.

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Bend knees downward so that feet are pointing upward and lift out feeling tension in buttocks and upper legs. Repeat.

For the REAL Moms

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k so you work all day maybe even nights or both while still having to maintain a household (Am I right?...of course I am). There is a lot of emotional stress being a realistic everyday working mom and if you want to keep your sanity a lil’ while longer after that PTA meeting or basketball practice…here are some tips for relaxing.

Health &

Real Relaxations

1) M with editati on: qui Med eting yo There i heal itation ur min s noth th in d im a few , and pr proves for a few g wrong o mo vid m m brea thing oments es men od, phy inutes. bac si t t a k ge exer o focu cise do a 5 l clarity. cal ntly s o y som . Do thi our min nly on . Close minute Take s y e ca d n lm to for 5 m d wond our bre your ey eep ve e y , o i e d a e u n sa y t r e u h a r s o e te sk? i ur d e mp ns to b y ay. W s and I elsewh ng and nd Y a w o p u h o ere en pr if ca h e da eas o be car w you wa n do thi ere do y omise it bring ve t Four S fter th our o l it s k will b ou m A n aitin e up quic me to the ome. ut on y our g r , a k o i n k a t o a e w e g t n ke s y x l p o th : Al ome your ki your de ercise f the time to g right a tes to r, add ur s d e u LUS have o t t k f s i n y l m P i a at w irst thin to co e off urse xtra m bath w s over gine is a don’t o g o m t y g o e s a e n r u from rk, in th re in yo find a im rm eri o. Yo ampe a few p a d p e m w n s ur lo m a p e co to am e cal a editatio chool, o 4) P e men ou can iet, tak elf som /warm the you rain. r r n gr d e s y d o r a. qu ol oup som ered, l is un you ce a c ater so wn the l a p r d w la do pam er an jams, nd p Let the y and v a o , w a s . s o i sl alt ay aw rite th s ing l aw favo rite ba k it al s melt a favo nd so r stres a ou s y e all ey

3) Ta l do, is k: Again, if the talk. re W Gath er wi omen are is anythin t h oth g tha you c relati e t a o costs n come t r women nal and l black mo like y ms k ove e ogeth , no n no ou m e eed f or ba r and talk rselves a otional c w how to o by sit n a nnec d have ter, a bout you tio oms h d o a m n r s y d g l tam s whe ns. ives. you c kin o r t o a s B i w re r a , e tini n t thers ight o n be crea nefits: lo g tha o n i m h a t r k t w y tiv r som ex blac is an ethin e…shoo a few bycially here h t t e i t, g f p I . w s : f a e f op best, self o Dad or a b lil’ r 2) Sh o u d o y o oa Get how t Break and d dget. t u u know and plan. b o r you u go et ks in ile yo ction. budg c h u w b s ding g” a e kid spen ch th it in the ba t a w to sitter “throw

It’s important to take care of the feminine energy because you’re responsible for so much so start nurturing the nurturer within.

START TODAY!!!

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“That’s My Baby” Love & Relationships

M

other’s day brings about many joyous and momentous occasions in a young males life. The significance of Mother’s day remains a tradition celebrated amongst all family members honoring their sister, auntie and grandmother, but most importantly their mother. Paying homage to the women who cocreated them and gave them life, a young male’s first true love and lifelong connection.

So how would one celebrate and honor their mother?

So delving a little bit deeper into individual traditions I was informed that Mother’s day officially kicks off with making their mom her favorite breakfast meal and catering to her according to my buddy Steve.

Steve also suggested that perhaps asking your mother to maybe to clear out her entire day on May 13. Preplan the day’s activities with a great breakfast, followed by a brunch date to maybe one of your mother’s favorite lunch spots, to lastly planning a dinner out for your Well doing a little investigative reporting mother that features a four course meal, myself I singled out one of my close and preferably a restaurant that is specialfriends’ Steve James who was able to pro- izing in celebrating Mother’s day openly, vide me with insight as to what mother’s so not only will your mother be recogday meant to him, and what exactly he had nized for the evening, but she will be surplanned for his special lady in his life. rounded and supported by likeminded Mother’s day ideally should be celebrated mother’s as well “There is nothing like every single day, however, on May 13, seeing your mother smile from sunrise to 2012 flower shops, gift shops and many sunset”. vendors specializing in celebrating one of lives’ major moments will be flooded with So I encourage everyone to clear out there willing consumers looking to obtain the mother’s calendar on May 13, and dedibest gift, to later on be given out and cate the entire day to Mom! Happy awarded with that prized hug and beaming Mother’s day ALL! smile and hear “That’s my baby”!

By: Robyne Boyce 20

elebrity Wedding Reality

=

Your Nuptial Nightmare

I

t’s been said that little girls dream about their wedding day from a very young age, some even start planning way before adolescence even sets in. You know what that day looks like right? The big white dress with the long train, all your cousins as bridesmaids, dressed in pink dresses of course. Your dad with his handkerchief pretending not to cry as he gives you away……right? Well sort of.

See the whole image and idea of marriage has drastically changed. These days everything from the proposal down to the car you leave the wedding in has to be perfect. How could you not feel tremendous pressure to have the perfect wedding when you are comparing yours to that of millionaires? The days of wedding vows being spoken in front of your closest and most dear family and friends are almost a distant memory altogether with the growing amount of televised weddings. If you ask any female (and even some males) between the ages of 13-25 if they saw Kim Kardashian’s televised wedding, most have and know so many details you would swear they were there. If they didn’t catch hers, ask about her sisters’ to Lamar Odom..or Antonia Carter’s. The point is, even if you don’t watch reality tv per se, you probably have heard of these weddings, and you have an image of the glamour surrounding them. Now I am not suggesting that if you can afford the perfect wedding that you should-

n’t have it. I feel that marriage is very beautiful and sacred, and should be celebrated as it is one of the most important days of a person’s life. However, I am just concerned with the images we are feeding to the youth with all the reality tv weddings that display a reality most of us will never witness firsthand. In these weddings not much attention is given to the nuptials, for one thing. If you have ever seen one of the weddings on tv you know they are mostly focused on the venue, the dress, the shoes, the gifts etc. I wonder if any of them even showed the vows or any sacred moments besides the kissing of the bride. I can’t remember, but I do remember exactly what the decorations looked like, what the ring looked like, what the food at the reception looked like. To all the “regular” people getting married in the near or distant future, take what you see on the televised weddings with a grain of salt, and focus on the most precious, most valuable and priceless part of the wedding…the love shared between yourself and your mate.

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Love & Relationships

C

O

Love & Relationships

Thoughts after Dark ” B Q “ h t i W ne subject that can be overlooked when it comes to sex is the woman’s pleasure. During a recent session of #QBAfterDark, I sat down and asked questions to see just how many women are being pleased by their men, what pleases them the most, and what doesn’t. Some of the responses were off kilter and wild!

Here are some of the responses to some of the questions:

When it comes to real life sex ques-

tions, there are many things that some people wonder whether or not they are normal happenings during sex. I host a weekly sex discussion session on Twitter giving people the opportunity to answer some questions and submit questions they may have wanted to ask but didn’t want to seem weird. I’ve asked everything from “Is a bad kisser a turn off to you?” to “Ladies, do you swallow?” The responses to the questions can be off the wall!

If you have any questions that you might want submitted, follow @QBAfterDark on twitter.com and submit your questions. The discussion sessions happen every Monday at 10pm sharp. #QBAfterDark

When I asked, “Have you ever had unpleasurable sex? Describe the experience.” @lickable_me504: “He was far too big I wanted to cry” @LadyKarmasBox: “couldn't feel it & mind on someone else” @teewiize: “I laid there n made my grocery list in my head” When I asked, “Fellas, what are some things that your girl appears to find more pleasing during sex?” @ImTooMuch: “Variety and endurance” @Chopizback9: “Longevity”

When I asked, “Ladies, Is four play necessary to help add to your pleasure level during sex?” @BustItOpenNAE: “Nt necessary, but pleasing” @lickable_me504: “most def it makes ur body more relaxed and it turns you on” @HunniBunz: “Not a necessity, but it helps”

I asked, “besides head ladies, list three things that drive you wild during sex?” and got a few different responses. Here are a few: @SheBCoolin: “hair pulling, talking, and ass slaps” @BustItOpenNAE: “Sucking of chest, neck & roughness” @LadyKarmasBox: “kissing, finger in a$$ & roughness” If I could summarize the episode in a sentence or two, I’d say that most of the participants are experienced, “MOST” being the key word. Some women did say that they are still learning what pleases them during sex and learning their body. If you would like to know more of what people have to say, follow @QBAfterDark on twitter and click the hashtag #QBAfterDark if you’d rather just find out what’s going on that way.

There are always many different responses and perspectives on sexual issues.

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One Step Closer to Justice ...

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espite the excitement of many by George Zimmerman's arrest in the Trayvon Martin killing, the preemptive celebrations could easily result in disappointment if a judge and jury of his peers deem him not guilty at the conclusion of his trial. While I am pleased to know that action is being taken (finally) I will hold off feeling any peace of mind regarding this case until Zimmerman is sentenced.

In a state which still upholds such backwards laws as "stand your ground" (which have made it possible for Zimmerman to slide by for this long) and has been host to other notorious murder cases including that of Casey Anthony where the murderer has walked away seemingly untarnished, I have little faith that this case will have the outcome most of us are hoping for.

While racial issues are disgustingly still at the forefront of our society, I unfortunately too must admit to racial profiling. When this story first broke, before hearing all the details, I assumed, like many that Zimmerman was Caucasian based solely on his moniker and con-

siderably light skin pigmentation. However, when I discovered that he was in fact Hispanic (regardless of the percentage) my opinion of this tragedy did not falter. Minority on minority crime is just as prevalent in our society as "hate crimes" (which is a term I do not support because I believe that all crimes against another person are hate crimes regardless of the reason) and instead of making this case about race it should be about amending the Florida state laws and those that they protect.

No one knows if things would have been different had the child wearing the hoodie and eating a bag of skittles been a white kid covered in tattoos and piercings carrying a skateboard, all we do know is that a seemingly innocent child is dead and he happens to be black. While there may or may not be an underlying racial issue at hand, races have united for justice, putting their hoodies up, and demanding action be taken and to me that supersedes the possible racist actions of one.

-Rachel Kostelec 23

PERSONAL FINANCES  Know Your Score! Check your credit report visit

M

 When you open your checking account (if you haven't

E V ?

A  R S EN E O T RE MM D G SU EE N  IS H T l ra a nt a u

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done so already) Don't pay for a basic checking account, find one with perks or discounts such as student accounts or accounts for certain groups or affiliations .

SAVE!!! A good a savings account covers up to six months of living expenses...try your best to achieve this (especially in this economy of vast layoffs and unemployment) Monitor Your Money: Read your bank statement and balance your checkbook every month , banks do make

mistakes and FRAUD is real

 Pay more than the monthly payments on credit card

-Q

bills

...More down is less interest down the line

Mind on Money

O

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www.annualcreditreport.com (FREE)

ON THE JOB 

  

STOP EATING OUT! Brown-bag it- Try it once or twice a week. Instead of spending $10-$15 on lunch near the office, pack your lunch the night before. Start a potluck like sharing

lunch group. Each person can bring something different and share. Very cost efficient.

Take advantage of your employee benefits such as gym membership discounts, health insurance, and 401K matching programs. Those funds can be used for retirement and other areas of serious need.

Gas wearing you out? Carpooling isn't just for kids ya know! Group up and carpool. Also explore alternatives such as biking and public transportation to catch some fresh air.

Consult with your employer about travel/mileage reimbursement. It could be a great incentive for employee morale or could already be in place.

FAMILY FINANCES  Protect your biggest investment, YOUR FAMILY. Pursue insurance for all immediate   

family members both medical and life insurance. Check with your employer benefits for insurance plans and also look into low cost insurance plans For school and other events, network with other parents and friends and start a transportation system to counter the expensive gas prices. Working together ALWAYS eliminate costs.

AGAIN MINIMIZE EATING OUT. Establish a grocery and dinner schedule. Make it fun and have themed dinner nights such as Mexican, Italian, or breakfast for dinner nights.

COUPONS SAVE LIVES (and money 24 most importantly). There are so many ways to collect coupons and save. Also look into savings / discount offers such as Groupon and Living Social deals.

Woman Rising ach year during the month of May we give honor and celebrate the women of our lives. Many of these women have helped shape our lives in ways that are too deep to describe in word. We call them Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, Sister and Friend. Unfortunately, due to the sin of sexism many women have been viewed as subordinate, inferior and less than. Even today, women have been reduced to baby mamas, chicken heads, bitches and hoes. This unjust and tragic view of women must be eradicated.

The truth of the matter is that most of the negative views concerning women have their foundation in the “Good Book”, the Bible. Women who lived in biblical times lived in an oppressive and unjust society. Even when we read the Bible the roles of women were primarily restricted to the up keep of the home and family. It was the role of fathers, husbands and other male relatives to provide protection and direction to women. But then came Jesus, a radical who reached beyond the margins of society

to bring the oppressed to the center of God’s love.

Jesus had an uncanny ability to change the conversation concerning women. He paid attention to them and acknowledged a woman’s place in the Kingdom.

His manner was inclusive and loving. What Jesus said and did to and for women elevated their status.

Without radically changing their roles, Jesus transformed and enlarged women’s possibilities. This is what he meant when he said, “that I have come that you might have life and life more abundantly.” At the risk of censure from a male-oriented society, Jesus talked to women, responded to their touch, healed them, received their emotional and financial support, and used them as main characters in his parables. Although women could not be disciples in Jesus’ day he recognized women’s potential for intelligent thought and commitment. Today, I challenge all of us who have a justice conscience and a commitment to the eradication of sexism to give honor where honor is due. Happy Mother’s Day! Pastor Darrin L. Harris

25

Be Inspired

E

Technology

Parents & Social Media: DID MY MOTHER JUST ADD ME ON FACE BOOK???

YOUR MOTHER HERE

C

learly technology is at an all time high and people we thought we would NEVER encounter on the net are very visible and thriving. Although I have not had the experience personally, I do know a few of my fellow 20something/30something friends complaining about encountering their parents and other older family members on social networking sites. These family members, especially parents, comment and inquire on every single picture, post, and friend request… annoying right? So how does one deal with this you ask? YOU DON’T, that’s if you’re of legal age.

To those of you that are 21 and up (especially NOT living at home), you should continue to maintain your online lifestyle and you parents will just have to accept the fact that you are an adult and you were in this territory lonngggg before they were.

Stand your ground but be respectful, these are your elders.

Those social networkers that are 18 and under (especially living at home), suck it up…your parents still own you. Sorry…yes I know it sucks but it’s the truth. The fact is that there are still a lot of predators on the net and your folks just may want to keep an eye on you. Earn their trust and demonstrate that you are responsible enough to literally have the world and its social networks at your finger tips. Eventually they (Parents/ family) will reunite with their peers and ease off of your personal dealings. Be consistent and give them no reason to have to check your wall or timeline.

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-Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr.

MAY 2012 APP REVIEW - Shaun G. Simon

http://appshopper.com/education/khan-academy-watch-practice-learn-almostanything-for-free Wunderkit - ( organizer or something in that ball park) I'm sure the creators of Wunderkit had great intentions but after installing it on my phone and trying to figure out why should I use it instead of Apple's iOs features I was already in the process of deleting it... http://appshopper.com/productivity/wunderkit Itunes U - For anyone looking to write the next great American novel or maybe even put together a digital textbook this app is for you. This app has tons of features and support. The sky is the limit on this one. http://appshopper.com/education/itunes-u

Angry Birds Space - A great sequel to the hit Angry Birds franchise but may not have enough new features to keep casual gamers' attention. If you own a Android device its free so go for it! Apple folks its worth the 0.99.

27

Technology

Khan Academy - (education app) A very informative well put together app. I'm not too sure of how helpful it will be when used as a supplement to actual lesson plans but it get a bravo for effort.

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