that’s just your generation

Jerilynn has always looked up to her father, Jerry Brantner, who also was a lawyer at Vogel for 35 years. When she got engaged to her boyfriend, now husband, Jon Adams, Jerry wanted Jerilynn to be aware of some things. “He said, ‘We love Jon and want him to be part of our family, but we want you to understand that you are going to have additional issues that you are going to have to address,’” Jerilynn remembers.

Being a divorce lawyer, Jerry had a solid understanding of marital issues and wanted to make sure the newly engaged couple understood people would judge their marriage because they have different skin colors. “He said, ‘You’re pretty strong and you and Jon can probably deal with those issues, but if you’re going to have kids, they are going to have issues too,’” Jerilynn recalls. “I remember telling him that was just his generation and that things were different, but I was a little naïve. My parents were very accepting, but my dad understood there would be people who judged our kids because they are Black.”

I have white privilege

When the basketball game was over, Jackson didn’t want to talk or ride home with his teammates and he didn’t want to ride home with his mother. “It was awful. I don’t know if the refs heard it, but Jackson felt like he was getting punished for being subjected to racism and it was not fair,” Jerilynn recalls.

Jon wasn’t able to be at the game, but their then 19-year-old son Christian was, and he drove Jackson home. “Jackson talked to his dad about what happened. I couldn’t do anything, and he didn’t need anything from me, other than a hug when we got home,” Jerilynn says. “It’s hard, as a mom, because you see it and you want to fix it. But I’m white. I have white privilege. I can empathize. I can sympathize. But I don’t know what it feels like.”