overt versus covert racism

In the early years of their marriage, Jon and Jerilynn did some traveling. “I will say that when we traveled to the south, places like Nashville and Texas, we experienced more overt racism,” she remembers. “People yelled things at us about me being with a Black man. As an interracial couple, Black women were unhappy that I was with Jon. In the south, it was in your face.”

When comparing experiences with racism in the Fargo-Moorhead area, Jerilynn says it feels more covert. “The difference is that here, it’s behind your back. It’s as soon as you leave. It’s the whispers. It’s the looks,” she says. “People act like they’re not racist here, but they talk about you when you’re not there. Sometimes that’s harder.”

Jon calls it “North Dakota nice” or passive aggressive racism. “What is unique to the Midwest and North Dakota is the avoidance of the topic of race. No one wants to approach the topic because that doesn’t lend itself to polite conversation and people go out of their way to not offend or insult on the surface,” he says. “What we need to do is call out our friends, family or business partners when they make racist comments.”

When Jerilynn has tried to explain the importance of the racial equality movement to friends or acquaintances, at times she finds they try to change the subject or equate it to an inequivalent issue their family is facing. People try to offer justification uttering the phrase “we don’t see color” and you can see the frustration in Jerilynn’s eyes when she explains why the statement is unacceptable. “Everyone sees color. And to pretend you don’t see color is to ignore the fact that racism exists,” she says.

Jon says Jerilynn’s moral compass and sense of right and wrong is impeccable. “If it’s right, it’s right. If it’s not, we’re going to correct it,” he says. “Those are her values and I wouldn’t be able to do the things I do if it weren’t for her. I’m a better person because of her.”