Complete Wellbeing July 2015 issue

Choosing the right yoga teacherp74

Foods that help relieve anxietyp88

Signs that you complain too much p40

Winner of the Medscape India award 2012 ISSN 2277 – 5153 VOL IX ISSUE 09 JULY 2015 ` 100 PAGES 100

The astounding

power of small How little things can transform your life p18

Editor’s insights

The Ripple Effect

Manoj Khatri infinitemanoj ManojKhatri

The smallest, most unsuspecting of gestures have the power to transform lives

H

ilde Back’s small act of kindness created an impact so huge that she couldn’t have imagined in her most vivid dreams. Years ago, when she was a school teacher in Sweden, Hilde sponsored the education of Chris Mburu, a poor Kenyan boy. It cost her about $15 per month at the time.

Chris, who was a bright student, made his way through high school and college and finally graduated from Harvard Law School to become a human rights advocate for the United Nations.

But all the while, Chris never forgot the anonymous donor who had sponsored his high school education and ensured that he continue to study. So, in 2001, he managed to trace Hilde down and started a charity that he named the Hilde Back Education Fund [HBEF], a Kenyan charitable organisation that provides financial support to bright children from poor families to enable them to get education at the secondary school level. Since its launch, HBEF has provided scholarships to 571 deserving students in Kenya—and the good work continues. Imagine, the lives of 571 children [and their respective families] have already been positively touched— all because one woman decided to be kind.

Hilde Back and Chris Mburu’s story inspired Jennifer Arnold to produce her multi award-winning documentary, A Small Act, which was aired by HBO. Bill Gates, George Soros, and members of the Bertha Foundation saw the movie at the Sundance Film Festival and the Bertha Foundation pledged to support HBEF. Sco Adams, the creator of the Dilbert comic strip, said, “Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”

Hilde Back’s story is a testament to the ripple effect of a single, small act.

Yes, the smallest, most unsuspecting of gestures have the power to transform lives. And yet, most of us would rather do nothing than do something small. We tend to equate small with impotent. Haven’t we o en thought, “What difference can I alone make?” or “How can such a small deed have any significant effect?”

Your doubts are about to be put to rest. This month, Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval share 10 stories from different spheres of life that prove beyond a shadow of doubt the incredible potency of small. “It is our smallest behaviours, and not our grandest gestures, that so o en define us and create an imprint of who we are,” they write, urging you to embrace the power of small in your life.

So turn over to page 18, and know that even a small act of reading an empowering cover story can lead you to make massive positive changes to your life.

But only if you are open to the idea.

manoj.khatri@completewellbeing.com 02 JULY 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 09

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EDITOR & PUBLISHER | Manoj Khatri CONSULTING EDITOR | Dr Grazilia Almeida-Khatri EDITORIAL COORDINATOR | Joycelin Sequeira ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR | Amit Amdekar

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SUMMARY OF CONTENTS

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TRENDING THIS MONTH >>

The power of small

By Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval

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DISCLAIMER | Complete Wellbeing is dedicated to providing useful, well-researched information on holistic health/wellbeing, but its contents are not intended to provide medical advice/diagnosis for individual problems or circumstances, or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Readers are advised to always consult their physician/healthcare professional/therapist, prior to starting any new remedy, therapy or treatment, or practice, or with any questions they may have regarding a medical/health condition.

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18

MANAGE >>

Career & workplace 30 How to get out of your dead-end job

By Jayanti Ghose

Sleep 72 Teach your kids to achieve healthy sleep habits

By Joanna Clark

Ailments 71 Q & A on diabetes

By Vimal Pahuja

EXPLORE >>

Self-help 34 A law of attraction success story

By Michelle Mason Rocks

Living spaces 76 How colours enhance your wellbeing

By Valerie Logan-Clarke

Travel 82 Notes from a travel sketcher

By Somali Roy

VOL IX ISSUE 09 JULY 2015 03

74

DECIDE >>

Yoga 74 Tips for choosing the perfect Yoga teacher

RESOLVE >>

Parenting 46 What to do when your child avoids school

By Ashley Josephine Herzberger

Food & nutrition 88 Foods to eat to beat anxiety and depression

By Dona Matthews

Marriage & intimacy 54 The keys to breaking free of co-dependency

By Rowena Jayne

90

40

46

UNWIND >>

Humour 38 When the tongue slips

By C P Belliappa

Self-help 40 Signs that you complain way too much

By Shola Richards

Marriage & intimacy 58 Friendship matters in marriage

By Kim Bowen

By Savannah Grey

Eating well at work

By Karen Koenig

DISCOVER >>

TRANSFORM >> Consciousness 62 Live a life that is pain-free

UNLEARN >>

Relationships 50 The joy of vulnerability

By Mariko Miyake

By Eckhart Tolle

64

Get drenched in the rain of grace

By J P Vaswani

INDULGE >>

Food & nutrition 92 Unique bitter gourd recipes

By Preeti Tamilarasan

REGULARS >> 08 Events

10 Talkback 12 Happy happenings 17 Write notes 44 CW Select 49 Month freshener 68 Confession booth 80 Culture club 97 New kits on the block 62

04 JULY 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 09

98 Reflections

COMPLETE WELLBEING

MONTH FRESHENER Infuse life into your days 1

International joke day Share a few of your funny experiences with your friends. There’s nothing healthier than a good laugh.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “You’re the best; I love you”.

THU

9

THU

2

FRI

3

Leave 10 – 15 minutes early for work this morning—it will give you time to ease into the day instead of rushing in.

4

5

SAT

Resist the urge to switch on the computer today and spend the day reading a book or watching a movie.

MON

When you wake up, feel gratitude for the brand new day and a fantastic week ahead.

13

7

WED

8

SUN

If you have a garden, build a scarecrow. It will help keep the birds out of your garden.

TUE

21

WED

Rub some oil on plastic containers before placing food in them. It prevents staining.

THU

THU

Mark this day as ‘clean your desk day’ of the month.

16

MON

27

28

WED

15

When you shop for your weekly veggies, make sure you buy one new veggie that you have not tried before.

TUE

Spend some time at a nearby nursery and buy a nice plant for your home.

6

Global forgiveness day Spend two minutes in silence to wholeheartedly forgive all those who have hurt you.

19

SUN

12

Drink a glass of water 10 minutes before eating to reduce your calorie intake.

SUN

11

MON

TUE

Spend some time stargazing with your children tonight.

26

SAT

SUN

SAT

25

22

23

Soak a cotton ball in your favourite essence and keep it on the top shelf to rid your fridge of bad odour.

Feed your soul daily by reading small bits from a spiritual book of your choice.

WED

29

THU

30

Shoes trap energy and make you feel tired. Take them off whenever you can and let your feet breathe.

Add some ginger and cinnamon to your tea. It will prevent you from catching a cold during this season.

www.completewellbeing.com

WED

July 2015

Manage

career & workplace

Quit

stagnancy Jayanti Ghose offers you a career plan to get out of your dead-end job

WHAT YOU DO FOR A living has an enormous impact on how and where you live, the people you meet, and the amount of time you can spend with partners, family, friends, on travel, hobbies and outside interests. An ill-fi ing career doesn’t just make you unhappy, it can be quite stressful. On the other hand, a good job comes with a sense of satisfaction and self-worth, which plays a big part in making you feel happy and content.

There is always the concept of a career path, career ladder and career journey and so on when it comes to a discussion on careers. There is a sense of movement—upward, rising, climbing.

But, sometimes you realise that your career has hit a plateau; you are in a dead-end job. That’s how Sarita feels today. She got placed in an IT company straight away from the campus of her engineering college. It was a huge moment, almost the best paid job from campus, very prestigious and made her family really proud. Now, in her mid-30s Sarita feels unhappy because she has realised that her job has hit a dead-end, and she is disillusioned, confused and frustrated with her lot. What can she do to get herself out of this rut, and re-charge herself for a more interesting life ahead?

Reflection is important If you are in a similar situation, you should think of reaching a career plateau as the perfect time for reflection and strategic thinking. If you are in a dead-end job, step back and take a look at where you are, what you have achieved, and check to make sure you are heading in the direction you want to travel.

Unhappiness at work arises when you and the job you are expected to do are no longer a good fit. It may have to do with your skills, the salary, 06 JULY 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 09

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VOL IX ISSUE 09 JULY 2015 07

Jayanti Ghose is a career and education consultant.

She pioneered career guidance workshops in schools and colleges. Students, individuals facing mid-career dilemmas, professional institutions and corporates are among her clients. www. jayantighose.com

values, freedom of action, status, hours and leave, workplace conditions, the organisational culture and advancement prospects. In Sarita’s case, she was upset that there was no freedom to rotate among different departments/divisions, and diversify, and this was hindering her advancement prospects. The fact that she couldn’t choose to move to another field of work, expand her horizons or even move up beyond a certain point/ level frustrated her. Moving to another company would mean taking on a similar job, but her future would still not be any be er in the long term.

If you have been climbing the ladder of success up to this point, maybe you’d like time to be able to stop for a while and enjoy the view rather than rushing to the top? Taking time for reflection is really important for your self-development. When you evaluate how meaningful you find your work, or what meaning you want to find in your work, you have the clues as to your next move.

The solution to this problem starts with you. Ask yourself why you are dissatisfied or unhappy.

Wanting to change your job or career means launching research into the alternatives for the future. You have to introspect. Objectively assess what you want different in the future, and what elements of your work need to remain the same.

You could answer some self-assessment questionnaires, seek guidance and advice from career counsellors, discuss with mentors, friends and relatives who know you well, but aren’t biased. If you are not prepared to think carefully about this, or discuss it, there is every chance that you could replicate your present situation.

of jobs available, review them and identify some suitable options. You can look at alternative positions, jobs, industries and pick out opportunities that you think you might enjoy and that you have some chance of being offered and you start sending off your applications. You may get lucky that you end up where you really wanted to be, but there is still a possibility that your new career or job may be li le be er than your old one, and sometimes even worse.

To be really effective in identifying a suitable opportunity, you must do your research well. Take a close look at organisations in the industry you hope to join, understand how they function and what their culture is, and which one would be a be er fit for you.

Review what you have to offer and what they want from you. Having your personal priorities, values and goals clearly outlined would be very important. However, also be prepared to adjust it to the current scenario.

Here’s what Sarita did. She looked around at further education options, which included post-graduation in Information Security, MBA, Cyber Law, Journalism, etc. because these were areas of knowledge and work that she had realised would be more suited to her interests, abilities and temperament.

21st century skills In the 21st century, employers are looking for flexibility and adaptability, initiative and self-direction, social and cross-cultural skills, productivity and accountability, leadership and responsibility.

TAKE A CLOSE LOOK AT ORGANISATIONS IN THE INDUSTRY YOU HOPE TO JOIN, UNDERSTAND HOW THEY FUNCTION AND WHICH ONE WOULD BE A FIT FOR YOU Framework for career planning Think first about yourself. What are your work values, job interests, skills and personality traits?

What ma ers more to you: challenge/achievement, security/stability, variety, risk/enterprise, money/wealth, social impact or autonomy? Make a list of practical considerations such as commute time, location [urban/ semi urban/ rural/ international], scope for transfers and work environment.

Then look at the job market. Look at the types

08 JULY 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 09

Among younger recruits, they are looking for basic skills like reading, writing, numerical ability, creative thinking, problem solving, visualisation, sociability, negotiation, team work, cultural diversity, leadership, self-esteem, responsibility and a positive a itude to work.

In more mature workers, employers value more complex skills, particularly business awareness, self-management, communication

COMPLETE WELLBEING

and team working abilities, and problemsolving. Candidates who are flexible and versatile are in high demand.

A new direction A completely new career direction is usually based on further education in a specialised field or a professional degree. Full time further education would mean investment of money for tuition and loss of income.

been occasionally writing in magazines and online publications on scientific topics and issues in his own field of research as also in a wider sense, also for the non-scientific public/reader. Hence, he did have some level of proven capabilities to back up his career move.

Ongoing career planning It is a misconception that you only plan your career when you are fresh out of school or

SEMINARS CAN PROVIDE USEFUL NETWORKING OPPORTUNITIES OR YOU CAN USE THE EXPERIENCE TO BOOST YOUR CV AND TO BUILD CONTACTS In Sarita’s case, giving up her pay cheque was out of the question. Being far more interested in managerial and executive positions in the IT industry, she decided to take up a part-time MBA specialising in technical/ so ware business enterprise management being offered by a local business school for those working in the IT industry. She had done her research into the profile of the students of this programme and their eventual career path, and decided that it would be by far the best course of action for her.

If you aren’t in a position to give up your job, and pursue full-time studies, you could either pursue a part-time or distance education professional programme alongside your job, or you make a pitch for a change of profile or career based on the suitability/applicability of your transferable skills.

Rakesh, who was working as a scientist for a decade, wanted to move to a career in science communication and journalism. He decided against any further education, because he felt that he had good oral and wri en communication skills, strong command of language and a varied range of published papers and articles to make a serious bid for the jobs he was interested in. He accepted the fact that without specific education or certification, he might have to take up a lower rung position in the job market. However, he felt that once he gained a foothold, he could easily bridge the gaps that separated him from those who were already working in field of his interest. His advantage lay in the fact that he had

COMPLETE WELLBEING

college or when you have lost your job. Work opportunities are changing all the time, and if you do not ensure your employability by acquiring the right skills and moving into areas which offer be er opportunities, there is no one else who will do it for you.

A strong professional network that you have built up over the years or by membership of a professional/industry association can provide you the tools/resources to keep up to date with developments in the industry or issues facing the profession. A ending seminars and short training programmes can provide useful networking opportunities or you can use the experience to boost your CV and to build contacts. The idea is to keep working on enhancing your employability on an ongoing basis and to maintain your enthusiasm in your job with learning and awareness of trends and developments in the workplace, both domestic and global.

Whether it is pressure from the impact of a global economy affecting some sectors of employment, or the frustration of employees no longer satisfied with their working environment, career change is now a definite trend. While changing direction can be perilous and o en frightening, if you are well prepared, it is not as daunting as it seems. Concentrate on the positive aspects of your new environment, even if it does include many unknowns. Think of the changes in your life as part of a great adventure offering you the golden opportunity of a new beginning.

To subscribe to Complete Wellbeing, send ‘CW SUB’ to 07738387787

VOL IX ISSUE 09 JULY 2015 09

Unwind humour

C P Belliappa narrates a few hilarious mix-ups of word and deed that will make you rofl

When the tongue s ips “IT’S A FOOT-TO-MOUTH existence yaar,” lamented a long lost friend of mine, reflecting on the dwindling profits in his business because of intense competition, especially from the Chinese.

Well, he put his foot in his mouth all right; however, I am not too sure about a distant elderly uncle of mine whom I ran into at a wedding recently. I sought him out and greeted him in typical Coorg style by touching his feet three times. He gave me a levelled look as he smoked his pipe. He then exhaled a cloud of smoke from the corner of his mouth and said: “I remember the name, but forget the face!” I am still trying to figure out if it was a case of slip-ofthe-tongue or a deliberate a empt at being downright nasty.

But the paper had got stuck to his bare bo om! Unwi ingly, the chief turned around and stooped over the chair searching for the slip of paper, unaware that it was wedged on to his rear. Photographers were quick to shoot the scene with the chief bending over the chair, and the audience ge ing a full view of the piece of paper stuck to his backside appropriately in level with the mike. A bemused queen and other dignitaries had to keep a straight face. One of the tabloids published the candid visuals the following day with an apt caption—“The Chief delivering his speech!”

The chief who ‘delivered’ his speech Talking of goof-ups, the o -repeated is the one about an absent-minded professor hunting for his reading glasses while wearing them. That was until we heard another story of a hysterical mother who frantically went around asking the whereabouts of her youngest child while carrying the baby on her hip!

One of the classic faux pas of the action kind is the joke about a busy executive who, in typical ‘Dagwood’ style, while rushing to catch the morning carpool to office, kissed the door and slammed the wife.

But, one of the best mix-ups, which happened about five decades ago, involved a tribal chief of a remote island colony of the British. The chief was to make a speech on the occasion of the visit to the island by no less a person than the then-young Queen of England, accompanied by her royal consort, the Duke of Edinburgh.

All the dignitaries were seated on the dais, and the chief proudly wore his traditional costume, which was the bare minimum, consisting of a few beads and feathers. He had carefully wri en down his speech on a piece of paper, which he placed on the chair and sat on it since his a ire had no possibilities for pockets. His favourite wife sat next to him, again wearing bare essentials.

When it was the chief’s turn to make the speech, he stood up and tried to pick up the piece of paper.

10 JULY 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 09

Illustration: N. S. PONNAPPA

COMPLETE WELLBEING

C P Belliappa is author of Tale of A Tiger’s Tail & Other Yarns from Coorg, Nuggets from Coorg History, Victoria Gowramma: The Lost Princess of Coorg, and Tongue of the Slip published by Rupa publications. He is an avid golfer and also manages his estate in Coorg, known for growing the finest coffee and spices.

Of Spoonerisms and Goldwynisms Talking of foot-and-mouth disease, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, describes himself as suffering from Dontopedalogy—the tendency of opening one’s mouth and pu ing a foot in it. His faux pas are o en intentional and are meant as put-downs.

One of them aimed at women was: “When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”

A deliberate diplomatic gaffe by the prince was directed at the visiting president of Nigeria, who was wearing traditional robes: “You look like you’re ready for bed!” During an official visit to Papua New Guinea in 1998, the prince had this to say to a British student who was trekking there: “You managed not to get eaten, then?”

Amongst the celebrated personalities afflicted by Dontopedalogy, it is hard to surpass Reverend William Archibald Spooner and Hollywood movie-mogul Samuel Goldwyn of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer fame.

Reverend Spooner’s howlers such as, “Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?”

“Kinquering Kongs their titles take”, “You have hissed all my mystery lectures and in fact you have tasted the whole worm and must leave by the first town drain” are all without a doubt inscrutable. The Reverend, who taught at Oxford, was so prolific with his unfathomable slips of the tongue that a word has been coined in his name—Spoonerism—which means the tendency to mix-up words beyond comprehension.

It is Samuel Goldwyn whose lapsus linguae are indubitably the most amusing.

His famous “Include me out” is a classic, and the most profound. The more one ponders on “Include me out” the more philosophical it gets.

Goldwyn’s other timeless nuggets are: “Elevate those guns a li le lower”, “I’ll tell you in two words: im-possible”, “We COMPLETE WELLBEING

have all passed a lot of water since those days”, and: “A verbal contract is not worth the paper it is written on” are all-time greats. Once, Samuel Goldwyn raised a toast to Field Marshal Montgomery as ‘Marshal Field Montgomery’. His speech-errors are now famously known as Goldwynism, and the word has gone into the dictionary along with Spoonerism.

Lords or lumps?

Another hilarious case of the lapsus linguae occurred when a rather nervous novice nun, a er pouring tea for a senior bishop, asked most reverentially, holding a bowl of sugar cubes: “How many lords, my lump?”

One enthusiastic le er-writer to the editor put his foot in his mouth when he wrote, “Since crime is the number one problem in our country, we should make the death sentence more severe.“ In the same vein, former Vice-president Dan Quayle had this profundity: “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”

Years ago I heard a well-known newscaster on the All India Radio’s evening news bulletin announce: “A new breed of chicken has been developed which has very low morality.” He realised his slip, and quickly corrected himself by substituting ‘morality’ with ‘mortality’.

At home, we keep teasing my wife about her propensity for writing le ers, and very o en not mailing them. She outdid herself a few years ago when snailmail was still in vogue by mailing a le er without writing it! The aerogramme addressed to our friends in Canada without a word wri en inside was promptly sent back by them with the comment, “Reading your le er was like listening to the sound of silence.”

A Rotarian husband wrote a speech for his nervous wife and told her, “Nothing to worry dear, all you need to do is simply shut your eyes and read it.”

That reminds me of my mother chiding us when we were young: “Just shut your mouth and eat what’s on your plate.”

Whenever I come across a case of malapropism, I remember a teacher from my school days who used to make light of a faux pas commi ed by him, by saying: “Sorry boys, for the tongue-of-the-slip!”

Excerpted with permission from Tongue of the Slip

by C P Belliappa, published by Rupa Publications.

VOL IX ISSUE 09 JULY 2015 11

Decide yoga

Ashley Josephine Herzberger shares five key traits that every good yoga teacher will possess

In search of the perfect yoga teacher THESE DAYS, YOGA is not hard to find. You can find it in ashrams, dedicated yoga studios, gyms, on YouTube, online sites, and you can bring yoga into the comfort of your own home with a DVD. You can travel to exotic locations for yoga retreats with teachers and students from different backgrounds. No ma er who you are or what ails you, there’s a yoga class out there for you.

Finding a good yoga teacher, however, is significantly more difficult.

According to a study by the North American Studio Alliance, it was estimated that in 2005, in the US alone, there were 70,000 yoga teachers. The nature of the profession makes it hard to keep track though, as there are no official licensing requirements for yoga instructors. It’s safe to say that number contin-

12 JULY 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 09

ues to grow at a rapid pace as the popularity of yoga around the world increases. So how can you find a good yoga teacher?

Here are five traits that you should look for in your yoga teachers.

1

Good yoga teachers have good training Make sure you read your yoga teacher’s bio or ask for it on your first meeting. A good yoga teacher will have trained at a reputable school and will have trained or been influenced by a long list of other teachers.

Good yoga teachers are the ones who have studied for a few years at least. O entimes, their studies will cross-pollinate with other interests, which allows the teacher to draw on many different experiences to create a solid

COMPLETE WELLBEING

class plan. A teacher who shares information from his or her own life experiences is one who is more relatable to you as the student and you’ll be able to gain more insight and wisdom from this type of teacher’s classes.

see your yoga teacher except for when you’re in the confines of the classroom, then she may struggle to find inspiration and motivation to continuously deliver awesome classes.

2 Good yoga teachers

Good yoga teachers are motivated

understand how the body and mind work Anatomy training in many yoga teacher training programmes is suspect at best. The anatomy lectures are not always delivered by someone with a professional background in anatomy and it’s o en glossed over so that everyone can get on to the ‘good stuff ’ in training. But understanding anatomy is so important for a yoga teacher to help his or her students truly find liberation in their bodies.

At the same time, understanding how the mind and body connect through the central nervous system and how emotions play such a large role in our experience as human beings is essential to delivering a well-rounded yoga class that is profoundly healing on multiple levels. It’s not just about the body or the mind or the soul. Yoga is the union of all three a er all.

You’ll be able to tell quickly once you’re in an instructor’s class if they understand anatomy by how they cue you into a pose.

3 Good yoga teachers are eager to create a connection

Good yoga teachers genuinely care. They want you to feel be er and experience the many benefits of yoga. If your yoga teacher doesn’t want to talk to you before or a er class or if they are not forthcoming in answering your questions about yoga, then find a new one who will.

4 Good yoga teachers are

students first and foremost Good yoga teachers maintain their personal practice. Do you see your yoga teacher practising in the studio where he or she teaches?

Teachers, just like any other professional, need to be continuously inspired to stay on top of their game. For most, inspiration comes from taking classes, reading about yoga, and experiencing the practice first hand. If you never COMPLETE WELLBEING

5

In some places in the world, yoga has a bad reputation as being a practice for hippies who just want to spread the message of love and peace. A good yoga teacher who is passionate about what he or she does has to also be super motivated to achieve in today’s modern economy.

The truth of the ma er is it’s hard to make a living as a yoga teacher and live comfortably in the 21st century. Truly good teachers need to figure out how to capitalise on their talents so that they can share more yoga with the world. If they can’t figure this out, they’ll most likely find a new career and the world will lose out on what they have to share.

This isn’t to say that only full-time yoga teachers are good; however, good part-time teachers are also probably very successful in their other careers because they’re motivated to be the best in everything they do. Good yoga teachers are o en seeking mastery a er all, just like the rest of us.

If you notice your teacher is always trying to improve, offering new classes, retreats, and programmes and passionate about sharing the practice with you in many ways, then you know you’ve found someone motivated to share their talents. Just remember to be on the lookout for the other merits of a good yoga teacher mentioned above. There are plenty of highly motivated people out there just looking to make a buck in a successful industry.

Ashley Josephine Herzberger is a registered yoga teacher through Yoga Alliance. She is currently developing a yoga programme for professional women. http://ashleyjosephine.com.

Bonus: Trust Your Gut You’ll get more from your practice if you genuinely like your yoga teacher. Just like anyone else you meet, you either get along with them or you don’t. Not everyone’s teaching style will resonate with you and that’s fine. Find the teacher you like and you’ll enjoy your practice.

To subscribe to Complete Wellbeing, send ‘CW SUB’ to 07738387787

VOL IX ISSUE 09 JULY 2015 13

Trending this month

The astounding

power of small How little things can transform your life

14 JULY 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 09

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Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval are cofounders of The Kaplan Thaler Group. Linda is the chairman of Publicis Kaplan Thaler, a fully integrated advertising agency with digital, social and technology at its core.

She is best-selling author and television personality. Robin Koval leads Legacy, the nation’s largest public health foundation. Together they are the co-authors of The Power of Small, The Power of Nice and Bang! Getting Your Message Heard in a Noisy World. Their new book; Grit to Great will debut this fall.

Linda

Robin

By Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval

IN A WORLD IN WHICH WE ARE urged to only look at the big picture and see “the forest through trees,” where the world is madly accelerating with every new technological tool and available app, it o en feels as if we don’t have the time, or the desire, to sweat the small stuff. Details get derailed and forgo en in a flood of digital data, e-mails and YouTube videos. We get so easily distracted, that we lose the fine, and o en crucial, points in the process.

As a result, the small cues, the simple gestures, the random acts of kindness that give life texture and meaning are too o en overlooked or ignored.

We feel too pressured to notice the nuances of human behaviour, or to bother with the small personal efforts that may, ultimately, win us more a ention than our grand acts or intentions.

Taking the time to give a compliment, or being a uned to a colleague or customer’s subtle body cues, are not inconsequential actions. They tell a story. They are the details that make or break a relationship, or decide your promotion. It is our smallest behaviours, and not our grandest gestures, that so o en define us and create an imprint of who we are. But the fact is, no one gets ahead, wins the promotion or saves the guy or girl, without noticing, sweating over and taking care of the small stuff.

COMPLETE WELLBEING

Believing that it is the small things we do that make the greatest difference is not just an ideology, it is also timely and pragmatic advice born out of the economically challenged world we live in today. Saving a large sum for the future is a daunting task, but focussing on saving penny by penny, fen by fen, paisa by paisa, is easily done, no ma er where in the world you live.

We o en labour over creating long-term life and career goals and plan five- or ten-year strategies to accomplish them. But life rarely works according to such a grand design. It is the tiny victories we accomplish each day, the details we take the time to worry about, that ultimately lead us to future success.

So please, read on. Just by following these “small” suggestions, you will begin to notice the huge impact it will have on your life.

VOL IX ISSUE 09 JULY 2015 15

1 Little things matter Larry was a computer programmer stuck in the sales division of a major apparel company. He was someone everyone took for granted, and was largely invisible to everyone around him.

Larry would watch the men and women of the sales department who were constantly ge ing promoted and praised, and would admire their outgoing and confident demeanour. Larry knew he had some great ideas, and secretly thought, “I can get ahead, I want to get ahead, but no one even knows I’m alive!”

Then one day, Larry strolled into Patricia Fripp’s men’s hair salon. Patricia was an immensely talented hair stylist, because she saw the inner ‘amazing’ in each of her customers, and decided to give Larry a new ‘do’, one that was contemporary, sexy, and a bit daring.

The second Larry got back from the salon, all the women took notice. “Lar-ry,” they squealed, “you look awesome!” Even his wife gave him a knowing wink when he came home to dinner that night. That small gesture, a new haircut, had given Larry a totally new lease on life. He bought

a new set of clothes, started working out in the local gym and became more socially engaged with his colleagues.

Larry began to walk, talk and behave with a newfound confidence even he didn’t know he possessed. He offered his boss suggestions on how to improve the company, and so impressed his superiors that when he asked to be moved to a regional sales position, he was awarded the job.

A job he executed brilliantly.

Before long, Larry became the best performer the department ever had, and within a few years he became the chief sales executive of the company.

Yes, Larry had brains and talent, but if you ask him what changed his life [and we did ask], he will tell you that he owes his success to one great haircut from Patricia Fripp [who is now a successful life coach!]

Point here: never underestimate how valuable a small change can be. You don’t need to do a massive overhaul to overhaul your life. Sometimes success is just a hairbreadth away.

Something as small as a new hairdo improved Larry’s self-confidence and transformed his entire life

16 JULY 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 09

COMPLETE WELLBEING

2 A kernel of kindness goes a long way Simone and Jake had been dating for two years.

In Simone’s mind, they were a perfect couple, and she was convinced Jake was the man she wanted to marry. There was just one problem: Jake was commitment phobic, and terribly fearful of the ‘m’ word.

Over time, Simone began to despair. Nothing seemed to change Jake’s mind—no amount of convincing, pressuring or ultimatum conversations even made a dent in his desire to remain single. So one evening Simone decided that she was going to break up with Jake once and for all.

She had to move on with her life.

On their way to dinner at their favourite restaurant, they passed a homeless man, shivering and starving in the cold, wintry night. Simone, who had been wrapped up in thinking about how she was going to break up with Jake, suddenly stopped in her tracks, jarred back to reality by the sight of this desperate stranger.

“I’ll be right back,” she told Jake. Simone dashed across to the deli across the street and next, into a second hand clothing store. When she returned, she draped a warm woollen coat around the man, and offered him hot soup and a home-made sandwich. The stranger smiled, and they continued on to the restaurant.

As they were about to order, Jake suddenly blurted out, “Simone, will you marry me?”

Simone was totally overwhelmed and perplexed with Jake’s spontaneous proposal.

“Why now?” she asked. Jake replied, “When I saw you stop to give that homeless man a coat and a warm meal, all I could think was: ‘How could I not spend the rest of my life with someone this kind?’”

Needless to say, Simone said yes, and today they are happily married with three beautiful children.

More than anything else, it is not the huge investments of time and money that truly chart the path our lives will take, it’s those tiny gestures

A small gesture of kindness changed the course of life for Simone and Jake of compassion and empathy that will make the hugest impact.

Especially when it comes to relationships with our loved ones.

According to Howard Markman, a professor of psychology, “Most couples in trouble think that for things to improve, extraordinary changes, if not miracles, have to take place. But the breakthrough comes when we realise that by making even small changes in ourselves, we can effect big, positive changes.” It means paying a ention to the smallest details, listening more a entively, and treating those we care about with just a tad more empathy and love.

It is not the huge investments of time and money that truly chart the path our lives will take, it’s those tiny gestures of compassion and empathy that will make the hugest impact COMPLETE WELLBEING

VOL IX ISSUE 09 JULY 2015 17

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