March 2015 issue — Recipe for happiness by Complete Wellbeing

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”—Abraham Lincoln

Winner of the Medscape India award 2012 ISSN 2277 – 5153 VOL IX ISSUE 05 MARCH 2015 ` 100

simple ingredients to make a

perfect recipe for p18

Editor’s insights

Happy to read

Manoj Khatri manoj.khatri@completewellbeing.com

infinitemanoj ManojKhatri

Whatever your idea of happiness, it’s a good bet that you have been playing a perpetual hide and seek with it 02 MARCH 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 05

scar winning Hollywood actress and movie producer Goldie Hawn was once featured in Vanity Fair magazine, where she was asked a question about her future goals. She replied, “People used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I’d say ‘Happy!’ That was all I wanted to be.” Isn’t that what you and me—indeed all of us—ever want to be? Face it: no ma er what names and labels you give to your pursuit, what motivates you in life, what you are searching for is happiness. This quest for happiness, the most fundamental of human needs, is a common thread that joins us all. But somewhere along the way, we have come to believe that happiness is found in stuﬀ—it is in earning more, spending more, having more; it is in accumulations and achievements, or perhaps in fame and power. Whatever your idea of happiness, there’s a good chance that it has been playing a perpetual hide and seek with you, where it seems to evade you successfully while you’re spending your lifetime seeking it. Though actually happiness never hides from anyone; if anything, it’s the most easily sought of all things in life. Then why does it always elude me? you ask. You’ve been looking for it in the wrong places. A life devoid of happiness is a life wasted, you will agree. But happiness does not mean the absence of challenges; it does not mean no ups and downs. Being happy is a delicate art—one that involves recognising and appreciating the finer everyday nuances that make our life richer. As Patricia Lorenz tells us in this month’s lead story, the recipe for happiness is easy. All you need are five simple ingredients, which you can use in your personal style, to cook up a sumptuous meal of happiness day a er day. The beauty of her recipe is that it works for everyone just the same—regardless of present circumstances, economic condition or state of health. There’s only one caveat: Your happiness is your responsibility alone. Mincing no words, Patricia says, “Along the way I discovered that the only person who can make me happy is me. It’s not fair to blame someone else if I’m unhappy because it’s not their job. The job of making me happy is mine alone.” As she reveals the magic ingredients, she adds, “I believe that if we have the five ingredients our lives will naturally be happy. The best thing is that all five are easily a ainable. All five start from deep within ourselves and grow and flourish until our happiness quotient bubbles up and out and becomes contagious.” As you discover her five ingredients you may wonder, as I did: just when did we learn to make something this easy so complicated? Sometimes we find the greatest happiness in simply unlearning. Just for your information, as we were pu ing this issue together, we discovered that 15th March is International Day of Happiness, as declared by the United Nations. A ‘happy’ coincidence, I must say.

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SUMMARY OF CONTENTS

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TRENDING THIS MONTH >> The five ingredients to a

happy life By Patricia Lorenz

PRINTED AT | Rajhans Enterprises PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY | Manoj Khatri, on behalf of Complete Wellbeing Publishing Pvt Ltd., at Rajhans Enterprises, No. 134, 4th Main Road, Industrial Town, Rajajinagar, Bangalore - 560044, and published from Complete Wellbeing Publishing Pvt. Ltd., 502, A wing, Sagar Tech Plaza, Saki Naka Junction, Andheri-Kurla Road, Mumbai 400072. Tel/Fax: 022-6742 0900 Editor: Manoj Khatri © Complete Wellbeing Publishing Pvt Ltd., All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, in print, electronic or any other form, is strictly prohibited. DISCLAIMER | Complete Wellbeing is dedicated to providing useful, well-researched information on holistic health/wellbeing, but its contents are not intended to provide medical advice/diagnosis for individual problems or circumstances, or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Readers are advised to always consult their physician/healthcare professional/therapist, prior to starting any new remedy, therapy or treatment, or practice, or with any questions they may have regarding a medical/health condition. The views expressed by writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editor, publisher, or Complete Wellbeing. Using masculine pronouns ‘he’, ‘him’ or ‘his’ for subjects of unknown gender is considered prejudicial. We respect both genders and hence use feminine and masculine pronouns interchangeably. Complete Wellbeing is not responsible for advertising claims.

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EXPLORE >>

Perspective 59 The role of family in crisis By Lisa Cox

Food & nutrition 84 Peppercorn and its benefits

By Kruttika Bhide

Travel 92 Fascinating Florence By Sathya Saran

RESOLVE >>

Marriage & intimacy 70 Change an unhappy marriage to a happy one

By Phoebe Hutchison

Parenting 76 When your kid steals By Aanchal Agarwal

Living spaces 88 Improve the energy of your kitchen By Sophie Keller

VOL IX ISSUE 05 MARCH 2015 03

UNLEARN >>

Career & workplace 44 Honesty can land you the job By Marty Nemko

TRANSFORM >>

Consciousness 54 Be in the world, yet beyond it By Osho

The soul connection By Anne Jones

DECIDE >>

Self-help 68 Don’t wait for the perfect moment By Pooja Ruprell

MANAGE >>

Ailments 41 Common problems of the aged By Gaurang Desai

Mind & emotions 51 Curbing obsessive compulsions

By Saumya Suresh

Relationships 62 Are you being manipulated? By Hansal Bhachech

Mind & emotions 66 The feeling shield By Paul Dooley

SLEEP SPECIAL 32 Make sleep a priority 36

The perfect ambience for sleep

Herbs for a restful night

DISCOVER >>

Self-help 28 The four phrases that will free you

By Sophie Skover Frabotta

Parenting 74 Why you need to tell your kids you love them

By Sheela Preuitt

UNWIND >>

Humour 48 Why everyone lies but I can’t By Margaret Andrews

INDULGE >> Food & nutrition 80 Raw food recipes By Lauren Glucina

REGULARS >> 08 Events

10 Talkback 12 Happy happenings 16 Write notes 73 Month freshener 78 Confession booth 90 Culture club 97 New kits on the block 98 Reflections

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Happy happenings

Meet a really wealthy small-time shop owner

Mother meets lost son after 28 years PETER KUCH WAS SEPARATED FROM his parents during the Sudanese Civil war at the age of eight. He was one among the thousands of ‘Lost boys of Sudan’, who had to trek through the desert on their own. Many children had died along the way—very few had made it to refugee camps and thereafter to the US. When he reached the US, Peter found a job, put himself through college and joined the army as a way of expressing his gratitude to America. All the while, Peter hoped and prayed that his parents and siblings were well and wished to see them. In 2003 he learnt that his parents were indeed alive in Uganda and got in touch with them over the phone. After finally being able to get some leave and putting together his resources he managed to visit his parents after 28 years. His mother was overjoyed to see her son again. “I knew all this time that God would bring you back to me”, was all she said. Neither time nor distance can break the bond of love.

Pic for representational purpose only Pic: Licensed under [CC BY 2.0] from McKay Savage [flickr]

K. SUDHAKARAN OWNS A small juice shop in Kanhangad town, Kerala, where he sells cold drinks, sweets and lottery tickets to earn a living. One morning, P. Ashokan, one of his regular customers asked him to set aside 10 lottery tickets. When the results were declared, Mr Sudhakaran learned that one of the 10 tickets, which he had set aside for Mr Ashokan, had won the prize of one crore. He immediately informed his long-term customer about the fortune he had won. Mr Ashokan was totally surprised by Mr Sudhakaran’s truthfulness, as he had not paid him the money for the tickets and nor was he informed about the ticket numbers. Had he wanted, Mr Sudhakaran could have easily pocketed the money, but he chose to inform his customer about the news. Mr Sudhakaran said, “My father always told me if you need to, you can even beg, but you must never snatch other people’s rights. My parents have always taught me to be honest, to do what is right, to consider everyone, whether rich and poor, as equal. My mother and all my other relatives were all very happy with what I had done. They all said that I had done the right thing.” As you can see, Sudhakaran is already wealthy—he didn’t want the prize money.

This farmer owns his power—literally WHEN SIDDAPPA G HULLAJOGI, a farmer from Karnataka was denied electricity because his village was situated far away from the nearest powered village, he thought of alternative means of ge ing a power supply. The windmills installed by private power companies near his fields gave him the idea to create his own windmill to generate electricity. His illiteracy did not, at any point in time, pose as an obstacle while he worked on his innovation. Siddappa built his own windmill with old tin sheets to fabricate the blades and used wood and copper wires to make the propeller. Siddappa’s windmill generates electricity that is suﬃcient to operate a bore-well, irrigate his farm, light up 10 bulbs of 60 wa s each and the two TV sets in his home as well as his brother’s. Talk about self empowerment!

If you have an inspiring or heart-touching story or incident to share, email us at editorial@completewellbeing.com and we’ll publish your story here. References: www.sunnyskyz.com, www.logical.indian, www.goodnewsnetwork.org, www.letzchange.org

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VOL IX ISSUE 05 MARCH 2015 05

SLEEP SPECIAL

WE HAVE ALL EXPERIENCED difficulty in falling asleep at one time or another. At such times, it is tempting to pop a sleeping pill which invariably comes with some side effect. But what if you knew of natural substances that help you fall asleep? You will be pleasantly surprised to know that the pharmacy of Mother Nature offers amazing natural products that aid natural sleep rhythms and promote a feeling of deep relaxation. These products are available in the form of herbs. The next time sleep plays hide-and-seek with you, try these popular herbs and win the game.

Hops Hops is a flowering vine, which is commonly used in the preparation of beer. It helps to prevent spoilage and balances the naturally sweet taste of the malt. Studies have shown that when Hops is used as a sleeping aid, it helps to decrease the amount of time it takes to fall asleep.

Valerian

Naturally sleepy Many people oĞen struggle to fall asleep even aĞer a hard day at work. Agatha Noveille tells us how we can induce sleep by using nature’s giĞs

Valerian is another popular herb used to induce sleep. However, it may have the opposite effect than sleepiness in some individuals, causing them to be more alert. Valerian also has a very strong, unusual taste that some people find unpleasant. Combining valerian with other traditional sleep herbs can help to tone down its disagreeable taste. A mixture of hops and valerian is a common combination used for aiding sleep.

Lavender This plant is well-known for its scent, and has a more soothing and delightful fragrance compared to many other herbs. The small, purple flower bud is the part of the plant that is most commonly used. Lavender is used in French cooking as an ingredient in the spice blend Herbs de Provence. But apart from the flavour, lavender is also beneficial to the nervous system. A pinch of lavender buds added to a blend of other herbal sleeping aids is a great combination—it promotes good sleep and also tastes delightful.

Chamomile Perhaps the best known herb that supports sleep is chamomile. It has a mild, pleasant flavour and is gentle but effective. Some people get vivid 06 MARCH 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 05

COMPLETE WELLBEING

Agatha Noveille works to demonstrate that herbs are an important resource in long term emergency planning as well as for everyday health. She is author of The Independent Herbalist: A Beginner’s Guide to Herbal Preparedness.

dreams after consuming chamomile. If you find that happening to you as well, you could try catnip or lemon balm instead.

Lemon Balm Lemon balm is another lovely herb that helps calm the nerves and promote sleep. Like chamomile, it has a pleasant taste, especially when it is fresh. Dried lemon balm has a less noticeable fragrance and taste, but is equally beneficial.

Catnip This herb might make cats act playful and silly, but its reaction on people is just the opposite. Catnip is a soothing herb and induces deep sleep. If you have a pet cat, it is advisable to avoid adding this herb in your sleep pillow as your cat may decide you’ve made her a lovely new toy and that will definitely interfere with your sleep! There are several ways of using catnip; you need to find one that suits you best. You can add it to your tea or take it in capsule form. Or you can add it in your bath bucket or even sprinkle some on your pillow. Be sure to try different ways to discover your favourite ways of using catnip.

Using herbs internally Capsules, extracts and herbal teas are effective ways to include sleep-promoting herbs in your diet. It is best to follow the instructions on the labels of

You can place herbs on or near your pillows COMPLETE WELLBEING

individual products, but herbs should generally be taken 30 minutes to one hour before bedtime. Three of the best tasting herbal teas are chamomile, lemon balm, and catnip—not only do they taste pleasant, they can also be safely consumed by anyone— including children and elderly. Valerian has a very strong odour that most people find unpalatable. Hence consuming it in the form of capsules may be a good idea.

Herbal baths A warm bath is relaxing on its own, but infusing the bath with herbs is an even better strategy for a good night’s sleep. To create a herbal bath, brew a cup-full or handful of dried herbs of your choice with a quart of water. Strain out the herbs after they have steeped for 10 minutes and add this to your bathwater. Enjoy your bath, but try not to drift off to sleep in the tub!

Herbal pillows A small pillow or sachet filled with dried herbs is another way of using herbs for better sleep. It can be tucked into a pillow case or can be placed under your pillow, beside it or against the headboard of the bed—anywhere that allows the wonderful aromas of the plants to be experienced while sleeping. You can make a simple sleep pillow by using a piece of natural-fibre fabric like cotton or linen in a soothing colour and pattern. The fabric doesn’t need to be a large piece— a square of about 12 inches is a good size. Fold the fabric in half, and stitch two of the sides to create a bag with three closed sides. Place your chosen herbal blend into the bag, and fold down the top so that it is easy to sew close. If sewing seems too fussy, find a cloth drawstring bag to use instead. Replace the herbs when the scent becomes faint or when the pillow starts to smell musty. Lavender and chamomile are wonderful choices for herbal sleep pillows. You could also add some rose petals to enhance the fragrance. Now do you see how easy it is to get better sleep naturally? All you need is a cup of tea, a refreshing bath or one sweetly-scented pillow.

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VOL IX ISSUE 05 MARCH 2015 07

Unwind

humour

Truth be told

Comedienne Margaret Andrews shares why lying does more harm than good

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DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST time you heard someone lie? I do. It was today. You may have seen it on the bus stop advertisement for that anti-ageing cream that makes you look ‘10 years younger’ instantly. Or the morning TV news that told you to stay tuned because they know how your washing machine is trying to kill you and your family. Or your perpetually perky Facebook friend who is married to her ‘best friend’ and ‘loving life’. And then there are the people who lie to your face. Right there, in person at the grocery store. You haven’t seen each other in awhile and she’s [let’s call her Dabny] missed every one of your book club meetings for the last two months. She tells you she’s been so busy but she thinks about you every day and oh, have you lost weight? A er she rushes oﬀ for a ‘work event’ you find out that she le your book club for a much cooler one than yours. So, why is she lying? I’ll tell you why.

An easy way out Dabny believes you can’t handle the truth. Also, she’s a spineless weasel. Frankly, I don’t understand why you’re friends with her. Why couldn’t Dabny tell you the truth, instead of le ing you waste all kinds of energy and time worrying about your friendship and following her around town and bugging her apartment? And sending her emails and texting her in case she didn’t get those emails, and calling her in case she didn’t get those texts, and messaging her on Facebook in case she didn’t get those voice mails? Recent surveys show that 95 per cent of people lie at least once a day… and the other five per cent lied on the questionnaires. If one lie was a dollar, we’d all be millionaires. Of course, inflation would skyrocket and you wouldn’t be able to aﬀord housing, food and your cell phone bill but you’d have loads of money. Lying is all about controlling the behaviour of others. But mostly, people lie because COMPLETE WELLBEING

they’re afraid. Like your spineless weasel friend, Dabny, who screens her calls. Most liars are insecure and starved for a ention. The truth is boring, but if you have a ‘filthy-rich’ love interest, or a celebrity who is a ‘good friend’ or worse, a ‘very good friend’, then everyone at the party wants to gather around you and hear about it. Your lies have instantly made you everyone’s ‘best friend’.

Lies that irk me Like the fictional Dr Gregory House says, “Everybody lies”. I mean cheating Jack isn’t about to tell the doctor how he really hit his head [because he and the babysi er were goofing around], especially with his wife sitting right there in the doctor’s oﬃce with him. Or if you’re standing for elections, tell the people what they want to hear because they will vote for you based on your unrealistic promises. They will scream at you later for not fulfilling your promise. But hey, you got elected and that’s what ma ers, right? And don’t get me started on the scam artists who sell pills that will either shrink your whole body or enlarge a specific part of it.

The downside to lying Here’s the thing—I’m a literal person who expects honesty. If I take Joe blow-thingsout-of-proportion literally, I ride his emotional roller coaster with him, reacting to his neardeath experiences of wrestling alligators and almost plane crashes as if what he’s telling me happened exactly the way he says it did.

Margaret Andrews

is a freelance writer and has a humour blog nannygoatsinpanties. com. Her latest book is Adventures in Blogville: A Creative Writing Guide for Teens.

VOL IX ISSUE 05 MARCH 2015 09

Recent surveys show that 95 per cent of people lie at least once a day… and the other five per cent lied on the questionnaire

A er he’s delivered his steaming pile of hyperboles, I’m emotionally exhausted. Later, I will feel like a duped fool for believing any of it. Eventually, I don’t trust him anymore and simply nod along instead of boarding that tiresome train. If you have a secret, you can tell me or not, I don’t care. I’m not that kind of nosy and I’m not insulted if you keep it from me. I’d rather you say nothing about your closet skeletons than claim you’ve never “had any work done” on your face. Besides, I can tell that you’ve had work done on your face. Nobody’s cheekbones look like that naturally. As a famous, cherry tree-chopping young lad once said, “I cannot tell a lie”. Though I am fully capable of distorting the truth, it’s too energy consuming for me. I speak from experience when I say that when one lies, one has to store that lie for later reference and I simply can’t be bothered. I lied to my mother once when I was a teenager. I came home late one day and gave her some lame excuse about breaking my watch and brought in two watch-less witnesses to back me up. But her words indicated that she knew I was lying. In one moment, I’d been caught and punished without being humiliated in front of my friends. I felt horrible. My mother was indeed a clever woman.

When lying makes sense On the other hand, there are times when lying is a fabulous idea. For example, it’s perfectly acceptable to lie to rude or judgmental people. So what if you have a penchant for squirrel-themed salt and pepper shakers or a late-night doughnut problem? That’s none of their dang business. They don’t deserve the truth for being meddlesome. These so-called friends of yours are emotional terrorists and you can’t let the terrorists win. Don’t enable their behaviour by answering invasive questions. If you’re a material10 MARCH 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 05

istic Judgy McJudgerstein and you ask me where I got this puffy, lime green prom dress and how much it was, I’m not about to tell you I bought it at an 80 per cent discount from a roadside vendor. I’ll say I paid full price for it and had it custom tailored. However, if you’re my trusted friend, not only will I tell you where I bought it from, I will also show you the other cool stuff I bought from him—like an awesome pink chessboard-topped table. You know, it’s frustrating for those of us who believe in a meritocracy, which doesn’t exist. We watch liars pass us by on their way to the bank because of all this silly integrity with which we are burdened. If only we could tell ourselves, “Well, at least I can sleep at night because I’m not an emotional terrorist,” but then, we’d be the liars. Nevertheless, we have to keep fighting the good fight because someday, we will win. Someday, technology will advance to the point of reading our brains and everyone will have an app called Polly Graff installed on their smartphones, which flashes holographic emotional terrorist icons above people’s heads when they lie. Look, I can understand if you don’t want to tell me that you’ve murdered someone or just paid an outrageous sum of money for an awkwardly located ta oo, or you crashed on the couch and binged-watched Spongebob Squarepants all weekend instead of going out with me. Don’t be Dabny, the spineless weasel. You can tell me what you really did, even if it was without me. Or tell me nothing. I won’t take it personally or judge you. If you tell me the truth, I will love you and respect you no ma er what everyone else says about you. And that’s no lie. To subscribe to Complete Wellbeing, send ‘CW SUB’ to 07738387787

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MONTH FRESHENER Infuse life into your days 1

Learn some facial exercises and do them regularly—it increases blood circulation to your face and reduces wrinkles.

MON

Include garlic in any form in your diet. This keeps a check on your cholesterol levels.

TUE

Take a five-minute break from work to stretch, walk or meditate once every hour.

Have lunch with a colleague you do not know; it’s great to get to know your workmates.

TUE

WED

THU

Add beans to your diet today—they are loaded with protein, fibre, iron, vitamin and minerals.

FRI

Holi Enjoy this festival by using eco-friendly colours.

SUN

FRI

International Women’s day Pamper and celebrate the women in your life.

Make fun of something you fear. See if you can exaggerate the situation until your fear seems ridiculous.

SAT

Give up a bad habit and see the joy on the faces of your loved ones.

SUN

Massage a few drops of coconut oil around your eyes to get rid of dark circles.

SUN

World water day Find ways to reduce water wastage and volunteer to clean a local water body.

MON

Use the stairs at least once a day.

Just before bed, jot down all the good things that happened in the day. You’ll be amazed by how much went right.

Squeeze half a lemon in hot water and drink; this cleanses some of the impurities in your system.

Prepare a cake and donate it to a school for underprivileged kids.

SAT

MON

FRI

SUN

MON

THU

Pledge to drink enough water everyday; if you are forgetful, use an app to remind you

SAT

Involve your children in household tasks like preparing dinner and doing the dishes. It’s an opportunity to spend quality time together.

TUE

MY NOTE

www.completewellbeing.com

SUN

March 2015

Trending this month

simple ingredients to make a

12 MARCH 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 05

perfect recipe for

COMPLETE WELLBEING

We seem to be in an endless pursuit of happiness and yet the happiness keeps eluding us. But what if there was an easy way to find and keep happiness? And further, what if that way was entirely in your control? Patricia Lorenz has discovered the five key elements of happiness that are within everyone’s reach. These will work for you regardless of your economic condition, state of health or social status

I KNOW WHAT MOTIVATES me and makes me happy and it isn’t what experts say motivates most people. Experts tell us that people get up in the morning and do what they do at home, work, or school because of one of four things: money, security, power or fame. Leaders of countries, including Prime Minister Modi and President Mukherjee, are no doubt motivated by all four because their careers aﬀord them all four of those motivators. But that doesn’t happen to many people. Perhaps you go to work every morning just so that you earn enough money to make a good living for yourself and your family. Maybe the security of your job helps you relax, so you can enjoy other things in your life. If your career gives you power or fame, perhaps money isn’t your greatest motivator. I have learned over the years that I am not motivated by any of those four. Instead, I believe with all my heart that I have been motivated completely by the search for happiness. I want to be happy in this life. If what I do for a living did not make me happy, I’d choose another career even if it paid less than the one I have. And the one I have as a writer and a speaker doesn’t pay that much, believe me, but it makes me happy. COMPLETE WELLBEING

I’m one of the happiest people I know Over the years I have travelled, read, played, loved and experienced life to the best of my ability. I’m your average woman who lives life simply, one day at a time, just like most people. Like most ordinary people, I know a li le bit about a lot of things, but not a whole lot about any one thing. I’m not a gorgeous beauty, nor do I spend hours every day trying to be. I don’t obsess about exercise or food. I do my best, but I don’t waste time beating myself up if I gain a few pounds or eat too many sweets. I have a good husband, relatives and friends who love me. I have a small, stress-free condo that’s paid for, and the sun, beaches, swimming pools and a good bicycle to keep me healthy and happy. Honestly, I’m one of the happiest people I know. I do not believe for one nanosecond that money or wealth makes anyone happy. Even though I don’t have a lot of money, I’ve lived an interesting, fulfilling, relatively stress-free life with more adventures than most of my friends who have lots more money than I. Happiness is a goal I have achieved for most of my life. VOL IX ISSUE 05 MARCH 2015 13

You cannot blame someone else for your lack of happiness because the only person who can make you happy is YOU 14 MARCH 2015 VOL IX ISSUE 05

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It helps that I’m a frugal soul who still looks for restaurant coupons in the paper, buys many of my clothes at consignment shops, and enjoys the thrill of a good bargain. But the main ingredients of happiness have nothing to do with being frugal or for that ma er with money at all.

It cannot be found outside My years of experiences have taught me that nothing that is outside of ourselves makes us happy. Nothing. Not good health, free time, luxuries, being in control of others or being successful in business or finance. Happiness comes from within. It’s a state of mind, an a itude. How do I know this? Because I’ve met people who are very happy and yet they struggle from pay cheque to pay cheque. I’ve met people who are happy and yet they’re in poor health or physically challenged in ways we cannot even comprehend. I’ve met people who have more money than they could spend in a lifetime and yet they are not happy. Being successful can only make you happy as long as the happiness comes from doing something with your life that has something to do with the talents you were given at birth. If it’s money that drives you, chances are you are not truly, intrinsically happy. Many times when people become executives who are in control of many people, their lives simply become so stressful and busy that they barely have time to tie their shoes, let alone step back and actually enjoy their wealth, power or business success. The pressure to keep the status quo is so great that they can’t leave work for one minute, even when they’re trying to relax at home with their families. Their cell phones, computers, iPads and other electronic gadgetry make sure that their minds are never more than a click away from running things.

It’s never in the future Another thing I’ve learned about happiness is that it doesn’t ma er what’s ahead for us in this great

scheme of things. What ma ers is whether or not we’re happy today. Right now. Are you? I am. I really, truly am. I was raised in a happy two-parent family with hard-working parents who instilled good moral values in my life. I graduated from college, married, divorced, lived in five diﬀerent states and raised four children with very li le income. Thanks to inexpensive friend passes on airlines where some friends worked, I’ve seen much of the world and had amazing adventures. However, it wasn’t the adventures that made me happy. It was [and is] having the freedom and the determination to never say no to an opportunity that makes me happy. The strength to be adventurous and happy comes from being bold, taking chances. For some, the ability to be happy is clouded by worry, stress, despair, fear or not being able to forgive or ask for forgiveness. Whenever any of those things hang over my head like a huge black umbrella, I fix it. I talk to friends, get counselling, pray, write about my feelings, sort things out logistically, then o en I take a vacation to make sure I’m not running on empty… even if it’s just an a ernoon walk along the beach. I know I have to get rid of the negative things in my life if my goal is to be a happy person.

It’s my job alone Along the way I discovered that the only person who can make me happy is me. It’s not fair to blame someone else if I’m unhappy because it’s not their job. The job of making me happy is mine alone. Over the years I’ve asked many people what, according to them, were the five ingredients to happiness and invariably they blurt out “lots of money” or “a bigger retirement fund.” Or they name things money can buy: “A bigger house”, “an expensive automobile”, “a trip around the world”, “a yacht”, “real diamonds”, “a maid” and so on. Or they say something too diﬃcult to accomplish like, “World peace, perfect health or a cure for all diseases.”

Along the way I discovered that the only person who can make me happy is me. It’s not fair to blame someone else if I’m unhappy because it’s not their job COMPLETE WELLBEING

VOL IX ISSUE 05 MARCH 2015 15

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Why subscribe Complete Wellbeing is an award-winning magazine that helps you live to your highest potential across all dimensions. It recognises and respects your myriad facets along with your deep desire to be the best you can in all the roles you play—spouse, parent, friend, professional, colleague, boss, neighbour, citizen… Loaded with insights on a diverse array of issues that matter to you; all presented in a friendly, strain-free and compelling manner. Featuring some of the most inspiring people of our time—Richard Bach, Thich Nhat Hanh, Wayne Dyer, John Gray, Andrew Mellen, Margie Warrell, Deborah Tannen, Charles Tart, Anita Moorjani, Terry Paulson, Robert Kiyosaki— Complete Wellbeing helps you to achieve greater clarity of thought and action so that you live your most magnificent life. Make Complete Wellbeing a partner in your journey of life. /CompleteWellbeing

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