A couple of days ago, I felt it necessary to ask myself the question, "So what is a compromise anyway? Over the years and recently as well, I've come across situations where individuals and/or businesses attempted to "redefine" what I understand is a compromise. The "textbook definition" of a compromise is something like "each side settling a dispute by accepting agreeable concessions."
So What are "Agreeable Concessions?" I have to laugh when I think about some of the recent experiences I've had both personally and in business situations where the other party thought that an agreeable concession was them meeting me 25% of the way and I need to journey the other 75%. The intent behind a compromise is for a dispute to be settled by both parties gaining something that would be significantly beneficial to them. The Human Mind "Not Letting Go" The human mind can use reasoning in a positive way as well as a negative way. We can encourage ourselves and others to grow by trying new challenges or use that same reasoning power to try to rationalize why we can't let go of our agenda enough so that our concessions will benefit the other party. Examples
We can see examples of this everywhere in our societies. Politics is one of the most well-known examples where policy-making is brought to a stand still because two sides cannot agree. We also see this in customer service in business as well as in "one-sided friendships" or marriages.
Some Solutions Some basic solutions are:
¡0 to learn how to be less selfish and more thoughtful of others ¡1 and get out of our "tunnel vision" by using more of a soft focus. We can't always get what we want when we want it. What we want may not be as good for ourselves and others as we have convinced ourselves. Finally, there is more going on than what we see and understand in our narrow frame of mind. In Summation A compromise is settling a dispute by having both parties making mutually agreeable concessions. An agreeable concession is when BOTH parties gain something of significance. In order to reach a concession we must learn how to be less selfish and more thoughtful of other people and what the big picure going on around us. So Who Are You?
What I've found when it comes to compromises, people fall into one of 3 categories: Those who want a mutually agreeable concession, those who want more of their agenda than the other person's, those who give into the other person's agenda most of the time because they don't value themselves. Which catergory do you fall into and where do you want to be? Do you have a plan for change and/or are you seeking helpful advice on how to create a plan for change in your life?