Have you ever asked yourself, "Whatever happened to the skill of listening?" Have you ever been in a conversation and, after talking, wonder if you have been heard? The Importance of Listening The skill of listening is an intrical part of many areas of our lives. Learning how to listen upholds good friendships, is part of the foundation of fulfilling marriages, aids success in jobs and businesses, and is part of many everyday experiences and transactions. Important Elements of Listening
Focusing- To start with we need to be able to clear our mind enough to pay attention to what the speaker is saying. Listening with clear minds is important, but listening intuitively from our hearts is an asset also that can be learned. When listening from our hearts some things to pay attention to are nonverbal communication like body posture and facial expressions. Asking clarifying questions to try to understand what the speaker is saying or feeling helps
as well in the process. Some people have learned to hide their feelings or their nonverbals are not present or opposite of what they are intending to communicate so asking clarifying questions helps us sort these things out. Acknowledging- Acknowledging involves any response that sends the message to the listener that they are being heard. Nonverbals like an open body posture and shaking your head from time to time helps the speaker to feel like they are being heard. Verbal responses like "uh-huh" from time to time can let a person know you are listening.
Drawing Out- This involves what we mentioned previously like asking relevant questions and showing the speaker that you are listening. When drawing the speaker out you are seeking to get to the heart of his/her message and completely understand any important details. Reflecting back- Reflecting involves saying
what the speaker has been saying to you back to them in your own words. You can reflect back the content of their message, the underlying feelings, and/or summing up the overall conversation. Probing- Probing involves asking questions that help the listener "zero-in" on a particular issue or situation that is important to the overall conversation. In Summation Effective listening involves focusing on what the speaker is saying, acknowledging what they are saying, drawing them out, reflecting back to the speaker what is being said, and probing questions about issues or situations that are important to the speaker.
Your Application So how effective are you at listening? Can you stay focused on what the speaker is saying most of the time? Do you acknowledge what is being said, and do you know how to draw the speaker out? Do you know how to reflect back the content, feelings, and overall conversation? Do you know how and when to probe about relevant issues and/or situations? When having a conversation with you can people answer the question by your own example, "whatever happened to the skill of listening?"
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