Prenatal Secure Attachment

Christina Hamill RCST® specializes in maternity care, lactation support, newborn tongue-tie assessment, and pediatric care.

Implementing secure attachment prenatally can start with planting the seed of simple yet profound practices as soon as you discover you are pregnant. Think of it as a nurturing process of prenatal bonding and imagine your in-utero baby wanting to feel included in the family from the get go.

Consider the feelings that came up when you discovered you were pregnant and the ones that emerge throughout pregnancy. Babies want for mom to have the support she needs to work through any difficult feelings AND wants to hear about them in order to feel connected, no matter what the future holds.

Our society promotes waiting to share the news of expectant parents until the first trimester is complete (in case of miscarriage). Can you imagine standing at the front door of your house and waiting three months to be welcomed and greeted by your loved ones? A prenate not only wants to feel the heart connection and spiritual embrace of mom, but of their entire family and close community they will arrive into once born.

Simple examples of prenatal bonding are saying good morning while rubbing your abdomen and telling your baby about the day ahead. It can be telling your baby about what you’re eating, what the trees look like and birds sound like. You can sing to your baby (consider a morning song and a lullaby). You can read simple seasonal stories to your baby that describe the beauty of the outside world. Invite grandparents to tell an oral story to their grandchild that they can retell. Little ones love repetition—it’s how they adapt to the world and get better at transitions. If you or your partner play a musical instrument, decide on a tender tune for your baby. You’ll be amazed at your newborn recognizing all of these daily conscious bonding moments. All these practices will soften the change from being cozy in the womb to entering the big world.

In-utero babies want to be previewed about what is happening next and sometimes need to know why in order to feel safe, such as before procedures during pregnancy and childbirth. So take the time to tell them. You’ll discover a sense of trust and a feeling of working together blossoming.

Feeling connected to you is what your baby wants from conception forward. Practicing and building secure attachment from this point onward prepares parents for birth and prepares them for parenting. When you meet your newborn, you will already feel so connected. Looking into each other’s eyes, being skin to skin, and your baby’s first latch will then secure the relationship you’ve nurtured throughout the span of your pregnancy even more.

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