BY HIS GRACE By Gina Sewell
You know, I was never one to hold on very well. I would have my pity parties. I would almost suffocate with anger, then lash out in a rage, and I would blame God for every bad thing that happened to me.
At some point, we have to learn what’s most important—God above all. I’m finally beginning to understand that. I’m weathering a storm as I write this, but this time.... this time I will not let go of the one who truly loves me.
Yes, you read that right. I used to blame God, ever since my mom’s accident. I remember I had so much faith that she would get better. I never even dreamed that she wouldn’t heal miraculously and live happily ever after. I was in such denial.
Yes, I am hurting and I feel at the end of my rope sometimes, but I still have hope, I still believe. I give it all to God.
When she didn’t get better, I got angry. I mean, furious. Why God? Why did you do this? Of course, I now know that He didn’t, but I didn’t understand it before. And that set a precedent for the next few years of my life. By His grace, He forgave me and took me back into His loving arms. I have been tested, Lord knows, and I wonder why my life keeps being one big pop quiz. Well, it’s because I keep failing. Thank God for do-overs.
20 | M AG A Z I N E N A M E PAGE 3 20
He is the one who created me and loves me more than humanly imaginable. He is the one who will never leave, even when everyone else does. “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV) “When I called, you answered me; you greatly emboldened me.” (Psalm 138:3 NIV)
Gina Sewell is a mom and grandma who lives in the Dallas, Texas area, where she enjoys cooking and spending time with her family. She loves to write about Jesus and encourage others. Gina shares her journey on her website: http://www.ginabartonsewell.wordpress.com
