SOCIAL MEDIA AND ADULTERY Presented by: Suzette-The Marriage Warrior
The internet culture has provided access to so many wonderful things. At a click of a button, we are able to search anything that our minds desire and social media has allowed us to connect to anyone around the world. As beneficial as this tool is, the tempters within it can be personally destructive and can rip apart what God intended for healthy marriage. So much time is spent on our cell phones. This one device allows us to answer emails, read the newspaper, view text messages, search social media, etc. Much of the “phone stare” activities cause marital partners to live in solitude that is unhealthy for relationship connection. Furthermore, the “one device for all things” phenomenon forces partners’ to trust that all phone activity is legitimate. When in fact, the lurking internet tempters can cause spouses to engage in marital betrayal, while sitting in the same room. Marriage is a fragile institution that requires trust. The foundation of relationship trust is built on emotional intimacy through authenticity and transparency. Most people perceive their smart devices as private and find it intrusive if their partner desires to inquire. In fact, if a partner, sensing marital disconnection, asks their spouse, “what are you doing on your phone?”, a quick response to avoid the investigation could be “just checking on something”. This type of interaction effectively halts the marital transparency, which leads to more emotional isolation.
18 | ON M AG AEVERY Z I N E N ACORNER ME FAITH
Instant internet access to pornography is a given. It is fairly common knowledge that males are more often engage in pornography because of its sexual components that “falsely” meet male sexual needs. Pornography addiction is not always associated with adultery but often meets the same marital demise related to the deception required for the act, which neglects the marital need of transparency and authenticity. Internet access not only provides opportunities for sexual betrayal, but the rising emotional affair phenomenon is a result of the social media construct, especially for women. Sexuality needs are important to both genders. However, for women, the sexuality need is driven by emotional connection needs. Through accessing social media avenues, women are able to meet emotional needs through connecting with friends and loved ones by scrolling social media timelines and video chatting. Depending on the gender, whether viewing porn or social media, a lot of non-productive energy and wasted viewing time is utilized to fulfill unmet internal voids. As the marital emotional/romantic/sexual attachment is unmet, it leaves room for these activities to increase. Social media can be an acceptable form of entertainment. However, the subtle temptations are revealed when, for example, an ex-lover sends a message that says “Been thinking about you. How are you?” The non-threatening message can lead to a series of conversations, wherein emotional voids are being fulfilled, seducing the partner into emotional connection with
