Health and Wellness 30

The Top Love Needs of Women and Men

aside personal needs to meet his needs.

Tami V. Allen, MS, LPC Contributing Writer

Remember the book by John Gray, “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus?” In my counseling sessions with couples, men and women both continue to report they don’t know what makes their partner happy. While each person is different, there are some fundamentally basic love needs of each and if honored, there is room to improve the quality of interaction in your relationship.

2. Sexual intimacy includes passion and the desire to please the woman he loves. Sexual rejection can make a man shut down, withdraw, and at worse, look for a sexual connection outside of the relationship.

3. Companionship to a man means he needs to know you are his “ride or die.” Can he count on you to be the one he opens his heart to, be his safe place to face his pain, love him sacrificially, and be his best friend?

Women’s Top Love Needs:

Women’s Top Love Needs:

1. For women, unconditional love and acceptance are usually communicated through encouragement, compliments, considering her thoughts and opinions: valuable, actively listening, and spending quality time with her. Nothing energizes a woman more than hearing her partner tell her how beautiful and loved she is, demonstrating that she holds first place, pointing out and supporting her in reaching her potential, and telling her how much she is appreciated.

2. Emotional intimacy and communication mean that a woman wants to feel vulnerable and safe to share inner thoughts, and feelings, and reveal her true self without feeling judged. Emotional intimacy means that she wants to feel emotionally and mentally connected before being sexually connected.

3. Women desire a spiritual connection with God’s foundation interwoven throughout the relationship. She desires her partner to be the spiritual leader of the home according to God’s design. A woman needs encouragement to grow by using her spiritual gifts, to maintain her individual interests, and prayers.

4. Companionship to a woman means growing together, laughing and playing together, staying the course when things get tough, and heart-to-heart communication.

4. Men also need to grow spiritually and the encouragement and affirmation from their partner to be the spiritual leader of the home which is the most difficult role they will ever take on. A woman should encourage her man to connect with God, his family, and other men of faith. She can also encourage him to spend time in the Word and pray for and with him to meet his spiritual need.

Take a little time every day to focus on your partner’s love needs. Meeting your partner’s love needs is one of the most important responsibilities in your relationship and is sure to bring you closer together.

As your Relationship Coach, my goal is to work with individuals and couples to improve communication and restore confidence in your relationships. For more information about me and my services, please visit my website at www. AllenCounselingGroup.com. You call also reach me by email at Tami@AllenCounselingGroup.com or by phone at 713-597-4499.

Men’s Top Love Needs:

Men’s Top Love Needs:

1. Unconditional love, respect, and acceptance of a man mean accepting him for who he is and not trying to change him. It also means occasionally putting

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Wellness

on Lupus Warrior and the Lupus Foundation of America – Texas Gulf Coast Chapter

KENNETRA “KIKI” SEARCY

By d-mars.com News Provider

The Lupus Foundation of America - Texas Gulf Coast Chapter is part of a national force devoted to solving the cruel mystery of lupus while providing caring support to those who suffer from its brutal impact. Under the leadership of chapter CEO Anne Marie Blacketer, the chapter's annual fundraising efforts support important community outreach, research, education programs as well as the P.A.T.H. grant program, so all those affected by lupus can have an improved quality of life. “Lupus Warriors are often overlooked. Yet, the disease is serious and often leads to lupus nephritis, a severe kidney complication. Access to high healthcare standards for ALL Lupus Warriors is essential to maintain quality of life and improved outcomes,” says Blacketer.

One of the chapter’s many efforts is their upcoming walk taking place on Saturday, May 7th at 8 am on the campus of Texas Southern University. This year, Houstonian and #LupusWarrior Kennetra “Kiki” Searcy, Miss Black USA is chairing the event.

Throughout 2022, the Lupus Foundation of America - Texas Gulf Coast Chapter will focus on supporting #LupusWarriors in our African American, Hispanic, and Asian communities with improved access to a high standard of care for their lupus, educational information to aid in a timely diagnosis of lupus, and health improvement opportunities across the region we serve. For more information, please visit www.lupus.org/texasgulfcoast.

Q&A With Kiki Searcy:

D-MARS: Kiki, please share a little about your journey and how you became connected with the Lupus Foundation of America - Texas Gulf Coast Chapter.

KIKI: My involvement with the Lupus Foundation of America started in 2014 when I was diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematosus, the most common form of lupus. That began my journey to learn more, become

Photo Credit (headshot): Beverli Alford Photography

Photo Credit (with her and her kids): Houston Photographer and Cinema

more active in the community, and represent other Lupus Warriors with my voice.

D-MARS: Talk about this year’s walk to help end lupus.

KIKI: We are excited to announce that this year’s walk will take place on the campus of Texas Southern University (TSU) on Saturday, May 7th at 8 am. The Lupus Foundation of America – Texas Gulf Coast looks forward to showing the strength of our Lupus Warriors along the Tiger Walk of TSU. In addition, the top fundraising teams will enjoy an awards dinner the night before the walk, where we will also vote on the winners of the “This is Lupus” student scholarship competition within the TSU School of Communication. Dr. Rockell Brown, Associate Professor in the Radio, Television, and Film Department in the School of Communication at TSU is helping to spearhead this effort. Registration for the walk is free. To sign up and join a fundraising team, visit our website at www.lupus.org/texasgulfcoast.

D-MARS: Kiki, share with us how representing this organization supports and encourages young people with lupus.

KIKI: My greatest hope is that my involvement in the Lupus Foundation of America – Texas Gulf Coast will encourage young people with lupus to become aware and spur them to make changes within their community. Too often, within our culture, we are either misdiagnosed or not diagnosed because we don’t have regular physicals or checkups. As someone with lupus who is still relatively young, I’ve had several reality checks within my lifetime and can emphasize and sympathize with those recently diagnosed. I want to be a listening ear, a voice, and a face that represents all Lupus Warriors throughout their journeys.

D-MARS: What do you find people are still unaware of when it comes to lupus?

KIKI: Many people are unaware of what lupus is and that it is an autoimmune disease. It is not cancer but an autoimmune disease that affects everyday living. Of the nearly 1.5 million people living with lupus today, over 60% are people of color (Black, Brown, or Asian). Despite losing 2,500 Lupus Warriors each year, the disease remains one with few medical options and no cure and is difficult to diagnose. Most Lupus Warriors wait five to seven years to receive a diagnosis. Those statistics are different for people of color in that they have been shown to wait nearly 15 years for their diagnosis. The status quo is not acceptable, and we are working to improve diagnosis rates and support systems for people with lupus. Anyone can get it – men, women, and even children –across any race, color, or creed.

D-MARS: Is there anything else you want to share with our readers?

KIKI: There is a purpose for myself and for my kids. We are here despite going through extremely traumatic experiences. Never stop fighting because you’ve been given a diagnosis. Your time has NOT run out! A diagnosis is just the beginning of the fight! You can join the fight against lupus, lifting yourself and others up as well!

Tips for Choosing a Primary Care Doctor

By d-mars.com News Provider

How well does your primary care provider know you? Do they see you at least once a year? Maybe during these last few years, when health has been at the forefront, you renewed your efforts to see this critical caretaker more regularly.

A primary care provider is more than just a provider. Over time, he or she learns the nuances of your medical history, your reaction to medications, your health goals, your lifestyle, your treatment preferences, and whether a caregiver is supporting you in managing your health. That intimate knowledge can help make a big difference to your health. Studies show that people with primary care providers are more likely to get preventive services, including cancer screenings, and report significantly better overall health outcomes.

Dr. Philip Painter, chief medical officer at UnitedHealthcare Medicare & Retirement says, "As we get older, our needs change and our functional ability changes. It's nice to have someone who knows you guide you through the health care system as that happens."

Painter provides the following seven tips to help you choose the right primary care provider.

1. Ask around

The first step to finding a great provider: Talk to your family and friends about their provider. A recommendation from someone you trust is a good way to identify a highly-skilled, helpful physician. But remember: Every person is different. Just because a provider was perfect for your neigh bor or best friend doesn't mean they are right for you.

2. Make sure you've got coverage

Once you've identified possible candidates, check whether they work with your health plan. If you have traditional Medicare, call the provider's office and ask if they accept Medicare patients. If you have a Medicare Advantage plan, call your insurance provider or check your plan's website to see if the provider is in network. Most plans charge more if you see a provider outside the network, so it's important to take this step before scheduling an appointment.

3. Do a quality check

Chances are you wouldn't hire someone to make repairs in your home without doing a little research into the quality of their work. So why would you choose a provider without doing the same?

If you have a Medicare Advantage plan, check with your insurance company to see if they have any information about the quality ratings of specific primary care providers in your network. You can also use the Physician Compare tool on Medicare.gov to see if your provider has participated in any activities that indicate they provide high-quality care.

Finally, check to see whether your provider is board-certified through the Certification Matters site, which the American Board of Medical Specialties maintains, to make sure they're keeping up with the latest developments in their fields.

4. Place a cold call

Painter advises that patients call a potential provider's office for a first impression of the practice.

"You can tell a lot by the phone etiquette of the office staff," Painter said.

5. Ask about logistics and virtual appointments

Ask questions. How does the office handle prescription refills? How do they let you know about test results? Can you email your provider or schedule appointments online? Will the office call to remind you if you're overdue for an annual screening?

You might also ask whether they offer same-day appointments and how long patients typically sit in the waiting room.

Ask whether the provider conducts virtual appointments, and how easy they are to schedule.

6. Keep your needs in mind

Every person has unique health needs, and those needs change as people age. Ask your provider about their specialties or areas of interest.

For example, a physician who specializes in sports medicine may not be the best choice if you are not a serious athlete. But if you have a chronic condition like diabetes, you may want to look for a provider with a special interest in diabetes care. Those are things to ask when you make that first call or do your research. And if you have multiple complex medical issues, you may benefit from seeing a geriatrician. Geriatricians specialize in the care of older patients.

7. Trust your gut

Your primary care provider is going to be a problem-solver and an important advocate for your health. It's critical that you trust them and feel comfortable asking questions.

After your first appointment, the American Academy of Family Physicians recommends you ask yourself the following:

* Do you feel at ease with this provider?

* Did the provider show an interest in getting to know you?

* Did they answer all your questions?

* Did they explain things in a way you understood?

If something seems off, trust your instincts and look for a new provider who is a better fit. You should be comfortable with whomever you choose.

Source: BPT