David Atlanta Vol. 17 Issue 2

1.8.14 V.17 I.2

KICK YOUR REAR

INTO GEAR Where and How to Get In Shape This Year Goodbye, AEN –

Hello, MAAP RAISE THE CURTAIN: A Sneak Peek at Atlanta’s Theatre Scene in 2014

1.8.14 V.17 I.2

Contents 8 A Note from the Editor 10 3 Shots with 12 Carmella: The Personal Transformer 14 Kick Your Rear Into Gear 16 Sing For Your Life 18 Winter Party 2014 20 2014 Concert Preview 24 2014 Theatre Preview 26 AEN Relauches 28 Album Review: Beyoncé 30 Film Review: Her 34 Seen@: Blake’s 36 Seen@: My Sister’s Room 40 Seen@: Ten Atlanta 42 Seen@: Mary’s 48 the Scene 50 Bartab 51 Datebook 52 Crossword 56 Fairyscopes 57 Classifieds 58 Favorite Bitch 60 Bitch Session

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A Note from the

Editor

Winning the Culture Wars

S

ince December, one of the biggest pop culture stories that just won’t seem to die concerns Phil Robertson, patriarch of the Duck Dynasty family and espouser of ideas like homosexual behavior being the center of sinful behavior and the preference of a vagina to a man’s anus (his words, not mine). And since the subject hasn’t died down yet anyway, it seems like an appropriate topic for my now-expanded Editor’s Note.

Look, Robertson’s views don’t surprise me. While the country is becoming more tolerant as a whole – and yes, that includes rural areas – there are still significant portions of the country that believe what Robertson believes.

I take no pleasure in hearing Robertson’s comments, and I certainly don’t like hearing people across the country come to Robertson’s defense. While I wish his views were held by a much smaller percentage of the population (note: I’m realistic enough to acknowledge that homophobia, like racism, will likely never completely go away), there’s a part of me that’s glad this controversy has come up.

Hear me out on this one.

This is probably more of an issue for those of us who live and work in gay-friendly areas like Atlanta, but I feel like the progress we as a community have made over the last few years has started to fog the view of the country as a whole.

Yes, more people in this country accept gays and even support marriage equality than a few years ago, or a decade ago, or half a century ago. But by being part of a very gay/gayfriendly environment, we may not question things like our own personal safety in a way that a gay teenager in rural Georgia might.

Right now, we’re winning the culture wars. That’s great. But if we’re winning, that means somebody’s losing. And while

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the ideas that are losing are outdated and morally wrong, the people who hold those beliefs dearest are going aren’t going to lose without a fight. Some of the initial response to A&E’s brief suspension of Robertson from Duck Dynasty proves this. They claim that he’s a victim of censorship, or worse, that his first amendment rights were violated.

They weren’t, of course, and a basic understanding of the first amendment proves that. But thanks to right-wing talking heads, the victim mentality for facing consequences for their actions has taken hold – strongly.

So what should we do in response in the future? It’s tricky. Personally, as much as I’d like not to hear or see homophobia, there’s a part of me that wants to give homophobes as little ammunition to attempt to garner sympathy as possible. These views are still out there, and they’re not going to go away just by silencing them. All that it does is breed more hostility and potentially make things worse for members of our community. That doesn’t mean letting these things go without a response at all. But maybe we need to find different responses when people like Robertson open their mouths.

– Elijah Sarkesian

I can remember when I first moved to Georgia, I was a total wreck. I have diabetes, hypertension, depression, prostate cancer survivor, chest pains, arthritis — you name it I had it. When I first arrived at Pride Medical they checked me out and put me on medication, and gave me their recommendations. I put my trust in them and my health began to improve. I will never forget when I started to show an improvement Dr. Anisman sent me the biggest barrel of yellow mums with a note of how proud he was with my improvements. No other doctor had ever done anything like this for me before or put my welfare first. Later I started seeing Dr. David Morris; he is the most passionate and concerned person.

He listens intently, asks all pertinent questions, and makes sure you feel comfortable. And Pride Medical has other physicians and specialists to assist you. It is like one-stop shopping, including prescriptions. I have been a patient there since 1995. Nothing or no one could persuade me to go to another practice.

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:nightlife

3

Shots with Tony Jackson

A

tlanta, meet Tony. Tony, meet Atlanta. If you haven’t already, make plans to go see this handsome cutie at the Eagle, located on Ponce de Leon. We talk about his favorite drinks, his favorite way to break the ice, and some of the crazy shit he’s seen!

Do you have a favorite drink to make? What’s in it?

My favorite is called “The Rocky Mountain Mother Fucker”!

It contains SoCo, amaretto, orange juice, pineapple juice and grenadine. It’s delicious!

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen working as a bartender?

Well, I have been a bartender for almost 11 years now, so I’ve seen some crazy stuff! (Laughs) Back when I lived in Phoenix, I saw a man put out his cigarette out on another man’s face just for “looking at his boyfriend.” Crazy!

What’s your favorite way to break the ice with someone?

I like to ask people where they are from. Both, my father and I did time in the military and I’ve moved around a lot. So, it’s fun to find out where people have been and where they wanna go.

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By Dylan Michael

davidatlanta.com // 11

:cover

You have to be consistent with your training. That means put a program together and stick with it. Programs fail because people aren’t consistent.”

DA: Now, if someone manages to reach their target weight or target build, what can they do to maintain their body? I’d imagine that by sticking with the same exercises for a long enough period of time, the exercises become less effective.

Carmella: The Personal Transformer

G

etting into shape can be hard work. It’s not something that happens overnight. It requires a level of commitment that can overwhelm those who aren’t serious about rebuilding their bodies.

By Elijah Sarkesian

a club at the time as a go-go dancer. He’d come and watch me dance, and said, “You know, I can get you out of this business.”

I said, “Why do you think I want out of this business? I love this business! I make good money, and I love it.” Then he said, “I want to train you.” I liked him. He’s cute, and he had a lot of muscles, so I started out at the Carmella Collins knows her stuff when it Diamond Gym in New Jersey. That’s how I comes to working out. As a bodybuilder, got started, just to get in shape. she’s garnered national attention for her abilities, including competing nation- DA: You also work as a personal ally and getting her Pro Card from the trainer at Gravity Fitness.

International Federation of BodyBuilding on her first attempt. As a personal trainer CC: To tell you the truth, I’m a fag hag. I at Gravity Fitness, she’s also used to work- love them. The gay men here in Midtown ing with gay men to help build their bodies. have put me on the map as far as my trainShe’s known throughout the community ing, to realize what I have to offer actually for her sweetness, which disappears the take me up on that, and I’ve transformed moment she’s training someone. so many bodies in Midtown. If you see a good-looking body, it might be made by In other words, she’s the perfect person me! to ask about getting into shape. We spoke with Carmella about her experience in DA: With this being the beginning bodybuilding, and what she recommends of the year, it’s the time where a lot for those who want to start working out. of people like to try and start getting into shape. What would you David Atlanta: How did you get say is the most important thing your start bodybuilding? someone should do in order to have long-term success in improvCarmella Collins: I started so long ago, ing their bodies?

I’ll be giving my age away. I’ve been doing this for going on…almost 30 years. CC: Consistency. The first time I went to I started…phew, a long time ago, in the the Diamond Gym, this older gentleman, gym. I had a guy that I was dating who was a bodybuilder, was there, and he told me, a national competitor, and I was dancing in “Carmella, this game is about consistency.

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CC: No, because it’s not about the exercise. I was actually telling one of my clients today; I went over to Atlantic Station, and it looked like a model show – guys posing, nobody sweating. I come from a hardcore, musclehead, crazy, headbanging, heavy metal kind of gym atmosphere where you have to exert energy. There’s no way that you’re going to get results going into a gym and going through a routine, and going through the motions. It ain’t happening. You need intensity. You need to exert energy. You need to sweat blood, sweat and tears, honey.

What I’ve noticed in Atlanta, coming from New Jersey and New York – people don’t have the knowledge, and nobody’s teaching them how to train. They’re not incorporating intensity into their workouts. You can go to the gym eight days a week, or 400 times a day – it doesn’t matter. If you’re just going to pick up the equipment and go through the motions, nothing’s happening. You have to work.

DA: What else would you like to tell our readers who are about to go find a gym or a trainer?

CC: Well, honey, I’m candid. I’ll tell people like it is. I want people to know: watch your trainers. If you do not see results within three weeks, get rid of them.

They’re milking you. They’re hustling you. Now that’s the truth – I’ve seen it happen. And the reason why I say three weeks is through experience, watching people change. Actually, you can see a person’s body change in one workout.

You know why? Because when you bring the oxygen and the blood and the intensity to that muscle, it swells up. All my clients are one size bigger when they leave me. They’re pumped up.

- since 1997 -

- since 1997 -

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:cover

Kick Your Rear Into Gear

By Elijah Sarkesian

You want a hot body?

You better work, bitch!

Orangetheory Fitness Howell Mill: 857 Collier Rd, Suite 15 • 404-455-0402 • Midtown: 933 Peachtree St NE, Suite 939 • 404-747-7107 • orangetheoryfitness.com

While we all thank Britney for providing us with our workout motivation, you might be wondering where, exactly, you can get that hot body. Fortunately, there are plenty of options in Midtown alone for getting in those workouts. Here are some of the hottest spots in our community.

Residents who live near Howell Mill have seen the signs already for Orangetheory Fitness. Over the next few months, more locations will open across the Atlanta area, including in Midtown in the Metropolis building on Peachtree. So what is Orangetheory, exactly? It’s a concept that breaks down workouts into intervals of cardiovascular and strength training exercises. Workouts are designed in what’s dubbed “Orange 60,” which last for an hour.

Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd • 404-486-0506 • gravityatl.com If your goal is to get your body in shape to look good dancing shirtless at Jungle, you may want to check out the gym in the same complex. Gravity Fitness, which was upgraded throughout 2013 by new owners Michael Yadich and Michael Wido, goes all-out to make you look good. Aside from the workout equipment and personal trainers, Gravity also offers massage therapy, tanning, a smoothie bar and an in-house hair salon.

And if you want to give Gravity a try or two before joining, call or visit to find out about their free trial passes.

Fitness 1440 Atlanta 1197 Peachtree St, Suite 513 • 404.745.9309 • colonyathletic.com The name may not ring a bell, but the location is one of gay Atlanta’s most well-known gyms. Fitness 1440 is the new name of Colony Square Athletic Club. If you’re looking to kickstart getting in shape, and a little healthy competition sounds good to you, you may want to try their upcoming 60-day Fitness Challenge. Registration runs Jan. 11–17, and participants can participate solo or in teams.

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Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave • 404-885-1499 • urbanbodyfitness.com As one part of Urban Body, which also includes Urban Body Studios and Urban Body Spa & Salon, Urban Body Fitness is a popular place to workout for gay and straight customers alike. With a variety of workout classes, personal trainers and strength & cardio equipment, Urban Body’s clientele has access to a wide range of options to better their bodies. Starting Jan. 8, Urban Body Fitness is holding a 24 Day Body Fat Challenge, which ends on Jan. 31. The challenge, which costs $90, includes two body fat tests at the beginning and end of the challenge, with categories for those competing with and without trainers. Winners will be based on the biggest overall change in combined percentage of body fat, weight loss and muscle mass. Prizes include various memberships to Urban Body.

STAY UP TO DATE WITH OUR YEAR-ROUND PROGRAMMING AND PLANS FOR THE NEXT FESTIVAL ON OUR WEBSITE AND OUR OFFICIAL MOBILE APPLICATION (AVAILABLE FOR IOS AND ANDROID).

WWW.ATLANTAPRIDE.ORG

:nightlife

changes to this season that audience members should expect?

BB: There are only a few actual production changes. For example last year each of the three judges had teams of four. There are no teams this year, so all 12 acts receive equal attention from JL, Michael and myself. The other noticeable change is with our host. Last year we had Miss Sarah B, who we loved dearly, and for season two we brought on the fabulous Jean Kelley.

She is fantastic!

Get Ready to Sing for Your Life

L

ast year, Sing for Your Life captured the attention of Atlanta’s nightlife scene. With a fierce competition that included several talented local performers, Sing for Your Life provided a fascinating look at Atlanta’s musical talent. The competition returns for a second season Thursday, Jan. 9 at Jungle, so we spoke with show co-creator Barry Brandon about the origins of Sing for Your Life, what to expect in season two, and more.

By Elijah Sarkesian about the missing link of music and dance in this city. That very evening, we decided to move forward with the show. It was all of a 10-minute conversation and the show was conceived. The following day I started working on the details of the season and we created Sing for Your Life just like that.

DA: Having gone through one cycle of the show already, were there any surprises you had about the reaction from the Atlanta community to the show?

David Atlanta: What led you to BB: A few! First and foremost, we were create Sing for Your Life in the first surprised and a bit overwhelmed with place? how quickly the city reacted to the show!

The submissions were flying in, my inbox Barry Brandon: I was living in NYC for a messages, texts and emails were receivfew years and through a chain of random ing so many different things – thank you’s events I found myself back in Atlanta as for doing the show to wondering how to be of 4 years ago. I was singing, touring, had part of the production team to where can I just released an EP and had just started sign up to be on it. Honestly, we knew that working in promotions through Bill Kaelin. we were filling a gap within the commuI started noticing how difficult it was, par- nity but weren’t prepared for such a huge ticularly in Atlanta, with the pop music outpour of support. scene and how there wasn’t a huge platform for pop recording artists. It led me Then came the live shows. People gave to a bit of confusion. Over the course of a standing ovations, boo’d the judges and few years, through working in entertain- mentors, cried when their favorite was ment and nightlife industry, I started to sent home. It was a whirlwind of emotions have an idea of how to bring this show to and we lived for it. It showed that we were life. I waited for the right time to undertake doing something right. such a production. One night I was sipping on wine with two of my best friends, JL DA: With season two getting Rodriguez and Michael Robinson, chatting ready to premiere, are there any 16 // 01.08.2014

DA: Josette was your winner for the first season, and you’ve worked with her (along with some other participants in the first season) since the season ended.

What’s it like working with Josette since her win?

BB: Josette is fabulous. A great representative of Sing for Your Life. She is fearless!

A true triple threat; i.e. dancer, singer and comedian / actress plus she can write music too. She performed at the Bedlam Presents Glamour Shot Party as well as opening the closing cabaret at Pride where there were literally thousands of people, she premiered her debut single, “Here Kitty Kitty,” which she co-wrote with JL Rodriguez. She performed at The W Downtown for Live Local back in August and is now booked all over the city for a number of performances. She’s a real character and hits close to home for me because she’s Italian and her and her family remind me so much of mine. And her boy - get out of here with all that!! Props to Michael for mentoring her in season one.

DA: What are you looking forward to most this season?

BB: I am so excited! We honestly had some great talent last year but this year I truly believe they upped the game. They are all so truly incredible in their own way and I am so thrilled to watch them shine.

I am so happy to get to know them, work with them, help where I can and just be a part of their artistic expansion.

With Amy Dixon as their vocal coach, Elliott Alexzander, as their stylist and the rest of the team behind them to raise the bar of production and standard, I couldn’t be more happy than to be experiencing the show with the community.

:travel

Party (for a Cause) in Miami:

Winter Party 2014

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By Elijah Sarkesian

ooking for an escape from the cold – or in Atlanta’s case, cool-to-chilly – this winter? One of the hottest parties of the year, the Winter Party Festival in Miami, is within sight, and your chance to buy tickets starts now.

The Winter Party Festival, presented by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, is a six-day event occurring March 5–10 in Miami. The event is expected to bring in over 10,000 partiers from around the world for a series of events, including nine dance parties with world-class DJs and entertainment. There’s also shopping, art and cocktail receptions, and best of all, the whole event is geared toward raising funds for local and national LGBT equality efforts.

Dance parties are the biggest part of Winter Party, and this year’s parties are bringing in a host of DJs from across the world. The Beach Party will include DJ Danny Verde from Italy and DJ Grind from San Francisco. Elsewhere during the week, the Under One Sun Pool Party includes DJ Gustavo Scorpio from Rio de Janeiro and DJ Seth Cooper from Chicago.

Looking for a hotel? The Shelborne, which has served as host hotel for previous events, returns as host hotel this year, following a $150 million redesign and relaunch as the Shelborne Wyndham Grand South Beach. The revitalized resort takes the Shelborne’s Art Deco glamour and opulence, and merges it with modern day comforts and conveniences.

Festival passes to Winter Party Festival are now available, and some passes are available now through Jan. 13 with additional discounts. For more information, or to purchase passes, visit winterparty.com. For host hotel reservations, call 1-866-701-7286 and mention promo code “Winter Party 2014.”

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:music

Dressed to Kill: Cher, Gaga, Miley and the Hottest Concerts of 2014

By Tyler Orr

This past year saw some of the biggest acts in the world bringing their shows to Atlanta, and 2014 promises even more talent coming to the city. From pop to country to orchestral shows, here are some of the biggest concerts playing over the next several months.

The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra: A Tribute to Marvin Hamlisch

Cher: The Dressed to Kill Tour May 12 • Philips Arena (1 Philips Dr) • cher.com • $30–$200

March 28–29 • Atlanta Symphony Hall (1280 Peachtree St NE) • atlantasymphony.org • $22-$60

She really couldn’t say goodbye. Cher returns to Atlanta for her first tour in years, in support of last fall’s Closer to the The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra celebrates the outstanding Truth album. musical legacy of Marvin Hamlisch, whose body of work includes more than 40 scores, including Broadway’s long-running A Chorus Line. Hamlisch won numerous major awards throughout his career, including three Oscars, four Grammys, four Emmys, a Tony, and three Golden Globes.

Lady Antebellum: Take Me Downtown Tour

Ellie Goulding

March 20 • Fox Theatre (660 Peachtree St NE) • elliegoulding.com • $48–$90

April 12 • Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood (2002 Lakewood Way) • ladyantebellum.com • $68+

With their moving melodies and ovation-worthy harmonies, Lady Antebellum is wowing audiences night after night on As she races up the charts with her newest single, “Burn,” their latest cross-country trek. Joining the trio on tour are Kip Ellie Goulding brings her tour for 2012’s Halcyon to the Fox Moore and Kacey Musgraves. Be sure to book your tickets Theatre for one night only. now!

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“religion outside the box�

The Transcended chrisTian At amazon.com in paperback and e-book After the Bible and Homosexuality, what next?

Daniel Helminiak points the way. Author of What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality, ordained Catholic priest, theologian, professor of psychology, Daniel mines the gay experience for a mature understanding of spirituality today.

Meet him online at visionsofdaniel.net

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Lady Gaga’s artRAVE: The ARTPOP Ball

May 6 • Philips Arena (1 Philips Dr) • ladygaga.com • $39–$204 Music. Fashion. Dance. Party. Atlantans who missed Mother Monster when she cancelled her Born This Way Ball date in 2013 will now get to see the pop artist when she brings the second stop on her newest tour to Atlanta later this year.

Miley Cyrus: The Bangerz Tour

March 25 • Philips Arena (1 Philips Dr) • mileycyrus. com • $30–$90+ She’s just being Miley. 2013’s most controversial, headline-grabbing pop star brings her Bangerz Tour to Atlanta this spring for what promises to be one wild party.

Symphony Gala with Audra McDonald

March 8 • Atlanta Symphony Hall (1280 Peachtree St NE) • atlantasymphony.org • audramcdonald.net • $37.50–$147.50 Tony-winning Broadway superstar Audra McDonald joins the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra for the annual Symphony Gala, an evening of incredible music benefiting the ASO and its education and community engagement programs.

The evening includes a cocktail reception, the aforementioned concert, plus a seated dinner, silent auction, dessert and dancing. Make sure to dress your best – this is a black-tie event.

Journey and the Steve Miller Band

May 30 • Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood (2002 Lakewood Way) • stevemillerband.com • $80–$150

Travis Tritt

Jan. 10 • Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre (2800 Cobb Galleria Pkwy) • travistritt.com • $50–$115

The long-time country music performer will bring a taste These two legendary rock bands are bringing their acts of classic country as he performs acoustic songs from his together for the first time ever. newly-released album.

Kings of Leon: Mechanical Bull Tour

Feb. 5 • Philips Arena (1 Philips Dr) • kingsofleon. com • $30–$60

The Wanted

May 7 • Tabernacle (152 Luckie St) • thewantedmusic.com • $30–$60

The UK-based boy band that isn’t One Direction, best known for their song “Glad You Came,” is touring in supBest known for hits like “Use Somebody” and “Sex on port of their newest album (and their first US full-length Fire,” Kings of Leon are coming to Atlanta to promote their album), Word of Mouth. new album, Mechanical Bull.

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:theatre

Curtain Up on 2014

T

o say that the Atlanta arts scene has a lot to look forward to in 2014 in a HUGE understatement. Making their way through the city will be multiple Tony Award winning musicals, and local companies will be producing some of their most exciting and provocative works to date!

By Nicholas Grant

show features several big song-and-dance numbers accompanied by some old-fashioned Broadway belting. An equal opportunity offender, the show playfully pokes fun at religion, sexuality, poverty and race.

The show follows two young missionaries who are sent to Uganda to try to convert citizens to the Mormon religion.

LGBT audiences have much to look forward to in the coming One missionary, Elder Price, is an enthusiastic go-getter year, and should make their plans soon since some of these with a strong dedication to his faith, while his partner, Elder shows are certain to e sell outs!

Cunningham, is a socially awkward but well meaning nerd whose tendency to embroider the truth soon lands him in trouble. Upon their arrival in Africa, Elders Price and Cunningham learn that in a society plagued by AIDS, poverty and violence, The Fox Theatre • Jan. 28–Feb. 9 • foxtheatre.org a successful mission may not be as easy as they expected.

The Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon, composed by South Park creators Trey Playing fast and loose with explicit language, The Book of Parker and Matt Stone and Avenue Q‘s Robert Lopez, is an Mormon is the winner of nine 2011 Tony Awards, including old-style musical with a modern sensibility. This blockbuster Best Score, Best Book of a Musical and Best Musical.

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Shakespeare’s R & J

Fabrefaction Theatre Company • Feb. 14–Mar. 2 • fabrefaction.org

Artistic Director John McFall is back with his first premiere in 6 years that highlights the athleticism and individual talents of the artists that he has so carefully brought together. For her first of three new works for Atlanta Ballet, Helen Pickett will present the world premiere of The Exiled, which she has created in Atlanta Ballet’s studios this season. Jorma Elo’s futuristic 1st Flash returns this season after its Atlanta debut in 2012. As the name suggests, the choreography astonishes with speed and athleticism and clearly demonstrates why The New York Times’ “Year in Review” named Elo a “talent to follow.”

Newly adapted by Joe Calarco and just in time for Valentine’s Day, Shakespeare’s R&J is the story of four young prep school students, tired of going through the usual drill of conjugating Latin and other tedious school routines, decide to vary their very governed lives. After school, one breaks out a copy of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and they all take turns reading the play aloud. The Bard’s words and the story itself are thrilling to the boys and they become swept away, enmeshed in the emotion so much so that they break school Actor’s Express • May 14–Jun. 15 • actors-express.com rules in order to continue their readings.

It’s December of 1968 and Judy Garland is about to make (anThe rigidity of their lives begins to parallel the lives of the other) comeback. In a London hotel room with her young new ficharacters in the play: roles in the family, roles in society and ancé, pills and a cocktail at her side, Garland prepares for a series the roles played by men and women soon seem to make all of concerts at the famed Talk of the Town. Garland’s razor sharp the sense in the world, and then, suddenly, they seem to make wit, grit and talent create a tornado of drama as she tries to reno sense at all. Although they had been taking turns playing claim her crown as the greatest talent of a generation. Featuring all the parts, two eventually emerge playing Romeo and Juliet Garland’s signature anthems “The Man that Got Away”, “Come exclusively, bringing a whole new dimension to the proceed- Rain or Come Shine,” and “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” ings. Perceptions and understanding are turned upside down as the fun of play-acting turns serious and the words and meanings begin to hit home and universal truths emerge.

7 Stages • May 29–Jun. 1 • 7stages.org

End of the Rainbow

The Secret History of Love

Thrill Me: The Leopold & Loeb Story Newnan Theatre Company • Apr. 2–13 • newnantheatre.org

The Secret History of Love reveals the underground ways that LGBT people managed to survive and love each other in decades past. 1920s speakeasies, wartime love affairs, police raids and steamy underground cabarets explode onstage in this powerful work by transgender trailblazer Sean Dorsey.

Relationships can be murder. This musical drama that recounts the chilling true story of the legendary duo that committed one of the most infamous and heinous crimes of the twentieth century. Nathan Leopold was passionate about Richard Loeb, who was passionate about crime and excitement. They created a secret agreement to satisfy each other’s needs and hatched a plan to lure a young boy to his death just to prove they could get away with it. But soon their perfect crime unraveled due to a careless mistake. Or was it so careless?

Featuring full-throttle dancing, riveting storytelling, luscious partnering and first-hand tales of tremendous risk, passionate love, impossible courage, heart-breaking loss, and bold resistance – revealing the great resiliency and strength of the human heart … even in the face of great danger and devastating violence.

Focusing on their obsessive relationship, Thrill Me reveals the series of events in 1924 Chicago that led about-to-be law students, and lovers, Leopold and Loeb to be forever remembered as “the thrill killers.”

Set in a Western Indian territory just after the turn of the century, Rodgers & Hammerstein’s first collaboration remains, in many ways, their most innovative, having set the standards and established the rules of musical theatre still being followed today.

MAYhem

The high-spirited rivalry between the local farmers and cowboys provides the colorful background against which Curly, a handsome cowboy, and Laurey, a winsome farm girl, play out their love story. Although the road to true love never runs smooth, with these two headstrong romantics holding the reins, love’s journey is as bumpy as a surrey ride down a country road. That they will succeed in making a new life together we have no doubt, and that this new life will begin in a brand-new state provides the ultimate climax to the triumphant Oklahoma!

Atlanta Ballet • May 16–18 • atlantaballet.com MAYhem is a no holds barred explosion of creativity and energy demonstrating the unparalleled talent of Atlanta Ballet.

Revolutionary and spine-tingling, MAYhem proves that Atlanta Ballet is not just pushing, but catapulting over the boundaries of contemporary dance.

Oklahoma!

Serenbe Playhouse • Jul. 24–Aug. 10 • serenbeplayhouse.com

davidatlanta.com // 25

:community AEN Relaunches in 2014 as

MAAP

S

ince its creation in 1992, the Atlanta Executive Network has served as a way for LGBT members of Atlanta’s business community to meet each other. But with the way social changes have impacted the LGBT community over the past two decades, the ability for people to interact openly has changed for members of the business community as well.

By Elijah Sarkesian

Following that will be an interactive Q&A session so we can best determine what our members and guests want out of the organization in 2014. Join us and share what you want with us. It’s going to be a great year!”

With that in mind, AEN felt that it was time for a change.

As of Jan. 1, AEN is now the Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals, or MAAP. The change comes in part as a result of research indicating that the “executive” portion of the previous name caused people to have what former AEN president Todd Harkleroad refers to as “an incorrect impression of what the group might be about.” The inclusion of “Metro” in the group’s new name was added because of the group’s expansion of programming into the broader Metro Atlanta area.

Among the more notable changes members will see this year is a diversification of location choices, as well as new programming for members including business development classes and weekend brunches.

On the organization’s upcoming State of the Organization meeting, being held on Jan. 16 at the Georgian Terrace Hotel, MAAP president Joshua Lorenz says, “What’s a better New Year’s resolution than expanding your professional network by having fun networking and gaining new friends? This is the perfect time to come join us at MAAP with a presentation from the Board of Directors about the vision for 2014.

26 // 01.08.2014

MAAP’s State of the Organization meeting is being held on Thursday, Jan. 16 at 6:30 p.m. at the Georgian Terrace Hotel (659 Peachtree St NE). Admission is free for members and partners, $10 for guests in advance, and $15 at the door. For more information on MAAP, visit maapatl.org.

davidatlanta.com // 27

:music Beyoncé

Beyoncé Beyoncé is back with her fifth studio album, and this time she’s taking the reigns. She made a Beyoncé album Beyoncé’s way.

B

eyoncé. A name that is synonymous with number one singles and multiplatinum albums. She has toured the world, packed out stadiums, performed for world leaders and more. On December 13, 2013, Beyoncé did the unthinkable. She released an album, with no announcement and zero promotion and subsequently, broke the Internet. People went crazy, generating more than 1.2 million tweets in 12 hours and temporarily shutting down the iTunes server. But was it worth it?

Beyoncé’s 5th studio album is appropriately entitled Beyoncé.

She released it as a visual album with 14 tracks and 17 accompanying music videos. The album opens with the emotional song “Pretty Hurts” which deals with the tyranny of the beauty industry. It’s a very emotional and empowering song for women of any age, color, and size. Another empowerment song is called “***Flawless”. I believe it will be her new “Single Ladies.” It’s a song that people instantly cling to and can sing along with. I mean, how many times have you seen someone post a picture on Facebook with the caption “I woke up like dis”? You can thank Beyoncé for that.

by Dylan Michael is a disco throwback track that speaks of her appreciation for her man and his cunnilingus skills; “I can’t wait til I get home so you can turn this cherry out.”

Another theme on the album is family. Whether it be the song “Blue” written about her daughter Blue Ivy Carter, who is listed as a featured artist or the song “Mine” with Drake, she shows how much family means to her. The song “Heaven” is about the death of her mother’s best friend and how it impacted her life, with a Spanish prayer outro and a hook “Heaven couldn’t wait for you”. She can “Sasha Fierce” you all day, but Beyoncé, in her moments of vulnerability, with her emotive vocals, shows why she has been a force to be reckoned with in the music industry.

Some of the songs are interesting in terms of production. For example, the song “Superpower” featuring Frank Ocean is sung with low vocals over a Pharrell beat. The song “Drunk In Love” is the obligatory feature from her husband JAY Z, in which they drop all subtlety and talk rather explicitly about their sex life and Jay, in his verse, compares his marriage to that of Ike and Tina Turner. “Eat the cake, Anna Mae!”

Overall, Beyoncé’s album is solid. I wouldn’t say it’s her best, but she definitely changed the game with the release of this Something Beyoncé didn’t shy away from this go-round was one. She just goes to show that if she wants to do something, her love of sex. Much of the album is packed with songs that she can. Why? Cause she’s Beyoncé, bitch. are graphic, and horny, and just downright dirty! In her song “Partition,” she speaks about having sex in the limo on the way Beyoncé is available now on iTunes and to the club. In the song, her man rips her fur, tears her blouse through other retailers. Target and Amazon and “Monica Lewinksy’d” all over her gown. If that’s not graphrefuse to carry physical copies. ic enough, I don’t know what is. Then there’s “Blow,” which

B+

28 // 01.08.2014

:film

Her

By Elijah Sarkesian

Her, one of the best films of 2013, tells a love story between a man and his OS that’s more humane and far less cynical than most.

O

fall for each other, and their unique relationship transforms them both.

With a premise as different as this, it takes a talented cast to ground the film.

Phoenix gives one of his best performances in years here.

This is one of the warmest characters I’ve ever seen him play, and the joy the character exudes is a pleasant surprise. Johannson, though, is the most fascinating part. Her voice, which is naturally husky and occasionally cracks, makes Samantha feel more real and natural. At times, it’s easy to just listen to the conversations between Theodore and Samantha, and forget that only one of them is a person in the room.

n the surface, the story of Her sounds a bit silly: a man falls in love with a highly advanced operating system. As it turns out, though, writer/director Spike Jonze (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ) has created a love story that’s incredibly relevant for today. We add personalities to technology more and more every year. Log on to Facebook, and one of the first things you’ll see is a box asking “What’s on your mind?” With the introduction of Siri and similar programs, we’re starting to communicate with our phones, not just use them as tools for communicating with others. Her does raise plenty of interesting philosophical questions Is it such a leap to imagine developing relationships with as it goes on. Questions of the nature of existence come up with increasing frequency throughout the film. The quescomputers? tions aren’t new for science fiction, but when paired with In Her, though, the story’s about more than that. As the film the romantic nature of the film, they feel fresh. The film’s begins, Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix) spends his central message, though, is simple: learning to live through days writing for beautifulhandwrittenletters.com. Twombly heartbreak and coming out better for it. It’s a message that is a romantic at heart, which makes his letters resonate should resonate with anyone who’s ever experienced a bad with his customers. Theodore is also depressed, since his relationship, romantic or otherwise, and in Her, it’s told with wife (Rooney Mara) recently left him. One day, he stumbles warmth, humor, and not an ounce of cynicism. across an ad for OS 1, the first operating system with artificial intelligence. After installing the OS and answering a Her opens in Atlanta this Friday, Jan. 10. few personality questions, OS 1 provides him with his own The film is rated R for language, sexual personalized A.I., dubbed Samantha (Scarlett Johannson). content and brief graphic nudity.

As Theodore and Samantha begin to know each other, they

A

30 // 01.08.2014

davidatlanta.com // 31

34 // 01.08.2014

photos: Brian Hughes

Seen@ : Blake’s

36 // 01.08.2014

photos: Brian Hughes

Seen@ : My Sister’s Room

40 // 01.08.2014

photos: Brian Hughes

Seen@ : Ten Atlanta

davidatlanta.com // 41

42 // 01.08.2014

photos: Brian Hughes

Seen@: Mary’s

theScene 1

10th & Piedmont 991 Piedmont Ave. NE

14 Cowtippers

27 Jungle

40 The Model T

2

Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

15 Daiquiri Factory

28 Las Margaritas

41 Tripps

3

Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

16 Einstein's

29 Manifest 4 U

42 Urban Body Fitness

4

BJ Roosters 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

17 F.R.O.G.S

30 Mixx

43 Woof's

5

Blake's 227 10th St. NE

18 Felix's

31 Oscar's

44 XS Ultra Lounge

6

Bliss 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

19 Flex Spa

32 Opus 1

7

Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave. NE

20 Friends

33 Roxx

8

Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

21 Gatsby's

34 Sam's Hair Salon

Le Buzz 585 Franklin Rd. SE Marietta, GA

9

Bubbles Salon 1579 Monroe Dr. NE

22 Gilbert's

35 Southern Nights

Mary's 1287 Glenwood Ave. SE

10 Bulldogs

23 Gravity Fitness

36 Ten Atlanta

My Sister's Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE

11 Burkhart's

24 Heretic

37 The Den

Club Rush 2715 Buford Hwy. NE

12 Capulets

25 Hobnob

38 The Fifth Ivory

Sister Louisa’s Church 466 Edgewood Ave. SE

13 Club Eros

26 Joe's on Juniper

39 The Hideaway

Swinging Richard's 1400 Northside Dr. NW

893 Peachtree St. NE 1492 Piedmont Ave. NE 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 2219 Faulkner Rd. NE

1600 Piedmont Ave. NE 889 W. Peachtree Str. NW 1077 Juniper St. NE 931 Monroe Cir. NE 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 76 4th St. NW

2115 Faulkner Rd. NE

699 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

1931 Piedmont Cir. NE

2103 Faulkner Rd. NE

500 Amsterdam Ave. NE

1492 Piedmont Ave. NE

2425 Piedmont Rd. NE

1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

708 Spring Str. NW Not Shown: Cockpit 465 Boulevard SE

1086 Alco St. NE

736 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE 931 Monroe Dr. NE 219 10th St. NE

1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 2000 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

2201 Faulkner Rd. NE 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 1551 Piedmont Ave. NE 1049 Juniper Str. NE

990 Piedmont Ave. Ne 2135 Liddell Dr. NE 794 Juniper Str. NE 1544 Piedmont Ave. NE

Bar/Cocktails

Retail

Dining

Billiards/Darts

Dancing

Dancers

Non-Smoking

Leather

Hair/Beauty

Fitness

Drag

Baths/Spa

48 // 01.08.2014

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davidatlanta.com // 49

Bartab MONDAY

got an upcoming event? calendar@davidatlanta.com

tripp’s Free Taco Bar 5pm xcess ultra lounge Raquell Lord’s Talent Show 10:30pm, Sophia Mcintosh & Fab 5 +1 11:30pm, 18+

BURKHART’S Synergy with Shawnna Brooks at 11PM BLAKE’S Trivia at 11. $$$ prizes cockpit DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke with eagle DJ Dance Party Angelica D’Paige at 10PM felix’s Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm COCKPIT Big Red Cup All Day, specials friends Free Pool and Cheap beer with DJ! EAGLE Music Videos with Scotty 2 pm - 6 pm blake’s Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, “Guys FELIX’S Free Pool Gilbert’s All you care to eat brunch FRIENDS Manic Mondays DJ opens - 2 pm & Dolls” with Shawnna Brooks. 11pm (cooked to order) 11-4pm HERETIC Jukebox drag with Knomie Moore BURKHART’S Dancefloor Divas with heretic Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged Phoenix at 11:30PM HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer Cowboy Night - 10pm JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm cockpit Dirty Boy Bingo w/ Ruby Redd hideaway Open at 12:30pm! Saturday eagle Balls Deep Karaoke w/ Mikey MODEL T Monday Night Madness Free Night Party felix’s Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm Pool - 10pm - 2am jungle Ruby’s Redd Light District 9pm; OSCAR’S Service Industry Night with Eric friends Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s Girls with Regina Simms 8-closing swinging richards Hip-Hop Night, lips atlanta Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas Gilbert’s Wine tasting 6-10pm Sponsored by Hennessy 8:30pm Style ten atlanta Texas Hold’em Poker 7pm heretic 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm model t Texas Holdem Poker - 3 pm | TRIPP’S Monday Nite Madness w/ Tana 9pm hideaway Service Industry Night Party with the M&M Boiz - 9 pm jungle Crazy Bitch Bingo 8pm oscar’s DJ Christopher Kind lips atlanta Dinner with the Divas swinging richards T-Shirt Review $10 model t Party Time with Michael - 9 pm ten atlanta Music & Videos by DJ Rob BLAKE’S POP! Karaoke w/ Sasie Monroe 11pm oscar’s Twisted Thursday with Eric Reum 10pm BURKHART’S Absolut Talent with Ruby swinging richards 2-4-1 VIP & Entry tripp’s Afternoon Cookout 3pm Redd at 10PM ten atlanta Thursday Night Live! All xcess ultra lounge 25+ FREE til 12am club rush “Tipsy Tuesday” 18 & up Request w/ DJ Daryl Cox 10pm Open until 4am xcess ultra lounge Turnt Up Thursday COCKPIT 80s Party 9pm, specials 5-8pm EAGLE Tuesdays w/ Tony 10th & piedmont Bellini Brunch 11 AM FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night & T-Dance 4 PM FRIENDS Let’s Make A Deal with Ken 6 pm 10th & piedmont Live DJ 10 PM blake’s Open at 1pm - High Energy Mublake’s 5-9pm TGIF, Charlie’s Angels w/ Gilbert’s Industry Night (complementary sic & Video w/ Bill Berdeaux & Daryl Cox Charlie Harding 11pm pizza after 10pm) BURKHART’S The Armorettes at 9PM HERETIC 2-Step Tuesday, dance till 11pm BURKHART’S Femme Fatale with Destiny club rush Hip Hop and R&B - 18 & up Brooks and Justice Taylor at 11PM HIDEAWAY Trivia with Wil 9 pm Open until 4am club rush “Got Leche” Free entry until JUNGLE We Are Family 9pm cockpit PBR Beer Bust 11pm 18 & up - Open until 4am MODEL T Wii Tuesday Afternoons 2pm felix’s Bloody Marys & Mimosas cockpit

DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s 9pm $2.50 beer / $3.0 well vodka friends Open @ 2pm; Dinner @ 4pm OSCAR’S Show Tune Tuesday with Chad- eagle DJ Dance Party while it lasts friends Happy Time Friday Kelly & Ken 6 pm Gilbert’s All you care to eat brunch 8 pm heretic FUR Friday SWINGING RICHARDS 1/2 Price cover (cooked to order) 11-4pm and Karaoke hideaway Kick Back Fridays!

6-11:30pm jungle Dinner and a Movie 7 pm; The hideaway Atlanta’s Favorite Bloody Mary Other Show with Edie Cheezburger 9:30pm Bar! 12:30 pm BLAKE’S 5-9pm Doug’s party pop hits, lips atlanta Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas Jungle Harness @bckspce atl behind Charlie Harding’s Hard Body Party 11 pm | Style Jungle (No shirt, No cover) 6pm “American Horror Story” 10 pm model t Friday Bagels - 10 am | Texas lips atlanta BURKHART’S Humpday Karaoke with Holdem Poker 8 pm las margaritas All You Can Eat til 3pm Darlene Majewski at 10PM oscar’s Music Video Night model t Sunday Dinner with Ron 3:30 pm COCKPIT Balls Deep Karaoke 10pm swinging richards T-Shirt Review,$10 oscar’s Sunday Fun-day EAGLE Underwear Night with Tony ten atlanta Music & Videos by DJ ten atlanta Brunch 11am & Music by Friends Hump Night with Regina Simms Shane V / DJ Daryl Cox 10pm DJ Rob Reum 4pm Gilbert’s Karaoke 10pm-2am tripp’s Afternoon Delights 4pm tripp’s Buffet of Goodness - 3 pm | heretic Pig Dance Black Out Party DJ Karaoke - 7 pm Stan Jackson 10pm-3am NO COVER hideaway 1/2 Price Beer 10th & piedmont Live DJ 10 PM lips atlanta Bitchy Bingo blake’s Open at 1pm, All NEW Show, model t Party with Elvis - 9 pm oscar’s Ruby Redd’s After Party - 10 pm DragXotic with Necole Luv Dupree at 11p swinging richards 2-4-1 VIP Room

THURSDAY

TUESDAY

FRIDAY

WEDNESDAY

SATURDAY

50 // 01.08.2014

SUNDAY

Datebook PALS Bingo

Wednesday, Jan. 8 • 6:30 p.m. • Jungle (2115 Faulkner Rd) Bubba Dee hosts this monthly fundraiser for PALS. For more information, visit palsatlanta.org.

Reel Out

Saturday, Jan. 11 • 3 p.m. • Auburn Ave Research Library (101 Auburn Ave NE) Three LGBT-themed short films – Shirts vs. Skins, Master Piece, and Stuck – will be screened, with a discussion with director Teresa Dowell-Vest following. For more information, visit afpls.org/aarl.

‘Six Degrees of Open House Separation’ Wednesday, Jan. 15 • 5:30 p.m. • Wednesday, Jan. 8 • 8 p.m. • Actor’s Express (887 W Marietta St, Suite J-107) Actor’s Express debuts their take on Six Degrees of Separation, which runs through Feb. 9. For more information, visit actorsexpress.com.

Office of LGBT Life at Emory (201 Dowman Dr) The Office of LGBT Life at Emory hosts an open house for different weekly, hour-long groups focusing on topics related to sexual and gender identities. For more information, visit lgbt.emory.edu.

Braving the Fire and Writing the Tough Stuff

Thursday, Jan. 9 • 7:30–9:30 p.m. • Charis Books (1189 Euclid Ave NE) Author Jessica Handler (Invisible Sisters: A Memoir and Braving the Fire: A Guide to Writing About Grief and Loss) shares strategies for writing about loss, grief and trauma.

Suggested donation is $5. For more information, visit charisbooksandmore.com.

‘The Only Light in Reno’

Thursday, Jan. 9 • 8 p.m. • Georgia Ensemble Theatre (950 Forrest St, Roswell) Topher Payne’s newest play makes its premiere.

For more information, visit get.org.

Sing for Your Life: Season 2

This Week in Theatres August: Osage County: If you think your family’s dysfunctional, they may have nothing on the Weston family. When they’re brought together by a family crisis, the film turns into a series of ticking timebombs. Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts lead the sprawling cast.

Her: Check out our review on page 30.

The Legend of Hercules: It’s the story of Hercules, but with Kellan Lutz (Twilight) in the lead role. We’re not counting on this being good, but at least Lutz is solid eye candy.

Thursday, Jan. 9 • 9 p.m. • Jungle (2115 Faulkner Rd NE) Barry Brandon’s local singing competition kicks off with 12 Lone Survivor: Four Navy SEALS find themselves on an illnew singers. For more information, visit jungleatl.com or fated covert mission to neutralize a high-level Taliban operative when they’re ambushed. Based on a true story, and be singforyourlifeatl.com. warned: when it kicks in, the action is intense and relentless. davidatlanta.com // 51

Answers on pg. 54

You Da Man

38 Sch. with a condom for a mascot?

39 TV series in which 1 Left to pirates 20-Across plays a former CIA 5 Fruit container operative 10 Either of the two O’s in 40 RN offering 51-Across 41 J. Caesar’s tongue, or back 14 Geometrical finding muscle 15 Miserable dwelling 42 Like the big top 16 Tiger’s ex 43 Chiang Kai-___ 17 Tuft of pubic hair, e.g.

44 Big name in bulk food 18 What straight soldiers do 46 Pride’s place with their eyes in the 47 TV series in which shower 20-Across played a drug 19 Nick at ___ dealer 20 Actor of Cuban descent recently featured in Da Man 48 Top record 50 English channel, with “the” 23 Castle in a board game 51 1999 movie with 20-Across 24 “It’s ___ for me to say” 57 Do style 25 TV series in which 20-Across played a nurse 58 Woman without a woman, e.g.

27 Phi Beta Kappa concern, 59 In the pink for short 61 Come clean, with “up” 30 Fingerprint feature 34 Cruising the Atlantic 62 Type of probe 63 Bus. major’s study 35 Turn on 64 Perry of Metropolitan 37 Long of If These Walls Community Church Could Talk 2 Across

52 // 01.08.2014

28 Italian bridge 29 Writer Wystan Hugh 31 Nevil Shute novel 32 Rubbed the wrong way Down 33 Doesn’t have 35 It may top a queen 1 Fondle clumsily 36 McCullers’ Ballad of the 2 Pg. in a photocopier ___ Cafe 3 Brings back 39 Greek philosophical type 4 Starchy dessert 43 Gets hot 5 Billiards cube 45 Fastidious 6 Go from one gay bar to 47 Astroglide alternative another, e.g.

7 Spit it out, with confidence 49 Cash drawers 50 Fruit on a bush 8 Six years for a senator 51 “Buy one get one free” 9 John of Aida fame offer 10 Top 11 A Streetcar Named Desire 52 Roughly 53 Toe woe director Kazan 12 Play about a gay bathhouse, 54 In the year, to Nero 55 Admiral’s position? with The 13 Queen’s “Another ___ 56 Fruit flavor for gin 57 Toward the rudder Bites the Dust” 60 Put a halt to 21 Myrna of The Thin Man 22 Carpenter’s rod 25 Handles roughly 26 Francis Bacon work 27 Long piano 65 West Side ___ 66 Where to stick your tool

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54 // 01.08.2014

fairyscopes ARIES (March 20 – April 19):

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22):

The morning blues may bring out your insensitive side.

Off-the-cuff remarks may be more biting than you think, so watch what you say before you say it. Having pals call you a thoughtless so-and-so will be no way to start the day.

Your bold ideas will be met with positive responses today, making for smooth sailing in anything you do. So try to come together with a group of folks and work on a common goal; your ability to lead your crew to an impressive result will be the talk of the town.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20):

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21):

Taking risks with your romantic life is not advised today. So don’t throw yourself at any Tom, Dick or Harry who gives you approving looks. You’ll have no idea what you’re getting into, and once he puts that dog collar on you, there may be no taking it off.

Impulse spending may buy you nothing but trouble today. It may be tough, but keeping your urges in check will be well worth it. Avoiding anything with the words, Dolce, Gabana, Burberry or Diesel will also do you a world of good.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20):

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20):

Sure, you used to have so much fun, way back when, with all those people that were so much more interesting and awesome. Oh, just stop it. Looking at your life through rose colored glasses with 20/20 hindsight would make anyone feel like crap. Life is good today -- enjoy it.

You’ll feel on top of the world today and it will show. Your buoyant demeanor will grow as the day progresses -- as will your confidence in yourself. Using this optimistic energy to ask someone you like on a date could bring unexpected yet positive results.

CANCER (June 21- July 22):

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19):

Thinking of someone special you met recently could weigh heavily on your mind today. You’ll look back with fondness on your brief encounter with Mr. Man, and you’d give him a call if you knew his name and his phone number.

Bold, daring and impetuous, you’ll blast through today like Speed Racer. You may not even know how fast you’re going as you whiz along. But look up ahead ... there’s Racer X, and he’s flagging you down, inviting you in for a pit stop.

LEO (July 23 – August 22):

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18):

Your passion for travel may be tempered by an anemic bank account. So relive past travels by going through photo albums of your many adventures. There’ll be pictures of you in Sydney, you in Vienna and you in Ibiza wearing nothing but a smile.

It’s a good day to make karmic connections, so seek out people who strike a spiritual chord. You’ll have a renewal of spirit as you learn with your new friends how to bond with your inner selves. One guy in particular will show you a glimpse of heaven that you’ll want to see more of.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22):

PISCES (February 19 – March 19):

Don’t sign up for any arduous tasks or intense activities. In fact, don’t sign up for anything: Give yourself the entire day for you to do as you like. Left to your own devices, without plans, you’ll find unlikely and lovely activities.

When faced with moral dilemmas you can always be counted on to do the right thing. While this may keep you from having as much fun as some of your more unscrupulous friends, at least you can sleep at night, even if it is alone.

56 // 01.08.2014

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W

ell, we’re a week into 2014 and it looks like some of these folks just can’t help but carry their bullshit into the New Year! I predict this one is gonna be just as fucked up as the last one. But you know what? That’s life and there ain’t shit we can do about it except either put up with it or douche that drama out like it’s a Summer’s Eve cleansing! This week’s Favorite Bitch is all about New Year Drama and Miss Tiger is on the scene ... not that clueless Dear Abby!

Dear Miss Tiger,

Dear Miss Tiger, My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 years. Neither one of us has ever been sexually versatile. All during the Christmas holiday he was demanding that I top him. I’m a power bottom and he knows I have no interest in fucking him. I’m not having this nonsense in the New Year. Any advice for this situation?

-Jay Dear Don’t You Think Your BoyPussy Is In Need Of A Goddamn Break After Eleven Years,

My New Year’s Resolution is to ditch my man and find a new Sex is like a wardrobe ... it’s always in need of something fresh one. I’m tired of looking at his face and ready to lose his ass. and new. With that being said, just go ahead and bend that What should I do? motha fuckah ovah ... and watch his hole spread wide-open, smoother than Velveeta on a grilled cheese sandwich. I sug-Diego gest you do it before someone else butters his bread and puts the flame under it! NEXT! Dear Once You Lose Him Try Not To Find Him ‘Cause I Ain’t Helpin’ Your Ass Anymore, Dear Miss Tiger, Yes, Hunty! Looking at someone you’re no longer feelin’ is like looking at a dried-up Christmas tree on New Year’s Day. Boo, it’s already January 8th ... you should’ve already done had you some new dick! NEXT!

I’m sure you can relate to my problem. My friend Angie borrowed my mink coat on New Year’s Eve. The next day she confessed to fucking her man while wearing it! I’m really upset because my mom gave it to me before she passed away. Any advice for me?

Dear Miss Tiger, -Straight Girl Fan My husband and I spent New Year’s Eve in New York City. I left to get more drinks and when I got back, he was kissing a Dear Trusting A Bitch Named Angie Was Your First dude in the mouth. He says it was nothing more than being Mistake So Be Glad The Hoe Didn’t Steal That Fur caught up in the moment. How should I handle this?

Coat, -Bonnie

Let me start with saying that no, I can’t relate to your motha fuckin’ problem. Wanna know why, bitch? Number One - I Dear That Bastard Got Caught NOT Caught Up In don’t lend my shit. Number Two - I don’t wear shitty-assThe Moment, minks! I wear a chinchilla with a Fendi label inside. But getting back to your dilemma, why the hell are you stressin‘ over a Look, baby doll. I don’t know your husband but I do know coat that should only be seen on Dynasty re-runs and not your that the son-of-a-bitch has seen more men’s asses than fuckin‘ back? a proctologist screening for prostate cancer at a free clinic!

But no matter what I say, you ain’t gonna listen, therefore, before you decided to sit ya ass down at the computer and write P.S. What do your husband and the Times Square Ball me, you should’ve went to Toys “R” Us, bought a Hasbro Ouija have in common? They both go down in 10 seconds!

Board, and asked ya momma for some advice!

58 // 01.08.2014

Bitch SESSION SEND US YOUR BITCHES!

There’s a difference between giving up and giving head.

I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.

Text 404.969.BTCH or email bitch@davidatlanta.com

It’s downright hilarious that you’re calling a big-ass bottom daddy. Can’t wait ‘til ya find out he’s a liar just like you!

One day, I hope to be attractive enough for people to start using my pics to catfish others on Grindr, Jackd, MH, Christian Mingle, etc.

The cute guys are annoying.

The nice guys are ugly. And the guys with both lack a personality.

What ever. I can’t.

Showers are better in pairs.

“Money can’t buy happiness.”

Eh. It can buy you carbs, and carbs are the definition of happiness.

60 // 01.08.2014

You know, “Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve” is pretty practical. Steve wouldn’t have eaten that apple because he had to bottom later.

Why don’t all the littledick guys who stay limp stay out of my mouth!

Nothing like sucking on an impotent penis to put things in perspective!

I don’t want to live with roommates because I don’t want anybody to know how many times I watch the same Real Housewives episodes.

You’re cute. Just not follow-back-on-Instagram kind of cute. *This page reflects the bitchiness of the community not David Atlanta or its publisher (although we’re bitchy too!)

Hot ’n horny hookups.

LAPTOP OR MOBILE

WE’RE VERSATILE

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