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SALES
PARKS & REC
The annual Backpack in the Park event inspires our whole issue this week. Preview not only the gay garden party, but also our favorite outdoor greenspaces that make gay Atlanta second to none in the parks department.
18
MILF$
Comeback queen Fergie doesn’t shy away from motherhood or from bringing sexy back. Beatbox uses her latest hit about MILFing it as a springboard to celebrate a bevy of pop music’s hot mamas.
30
HONEY PLEASE
We love our straight girl besties, but it’s time for some of them to go back to school. Gay school, that is. Here are our top lessons in Gay 101 for her to really be a BFF and not a PITA.
40
Long after thousands of gay guys hit recovery, they can’t get their sexual mojo back. At all. Chemsex is the culprit, and a new book says it’s time to talk turkey on gay men, lust and meth.
At community distribution points across the city
CONTRIBUTORS Buck Cooke DJ Marc J Cubs Tony Gowell Shannon Jenkins Jason Mietelski Jeffery Silvey
DISTRIBUTION Christopher Dixon Brian Harmon
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The content of this Publication is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Magazine are not necessarily those of the Publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the Magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through this Publication meets your specific requirements. The Publication is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The Magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to the Publication, including but not limited to articles, advertisement, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of this Publication may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the Publisher. Unauthorized use of this Publication may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in the Publication is strictly at your own risk. 6 | 7.20.16
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datebook GEORGIA LGBT LEGISLATIVE PANEL The LGBT business heads at Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals gathers their gays for this one-of-a-kind event. With the help of Georgia Equality and Creative Approach, MAAP lines up five gay and gayfriendly Georgia lawmakers to take questions from attendees on the state of the state regarding LGBT issues. Two of Georgia’s three openly gay state Reps. Park Cannon and Keisha Waites will be part of the discussion. They are joined by longtime allied state Rep. Scott Holcomb, and state Sens. Elena Parent and Vincent Fort. The evening includes networking opportunities before and after the panel. Thursday, July 21, 6 p.m. • Rush Center • 1530 DeKalb Ave. • maapatl.org
12 | 7.20.16
where to go and
what to do this week
photo:Project Q
ALYSSA EDWARDS
SERVING FOR EQUALITY
BACKPACK IN THE PARK
When the fifth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race brought the drag mother of favorites including Laganga Estranga and Shangela, fans learned who was the OG Edwards queen. Now the pageant beauty comes to Atlanta to play a starring role in a very special edition of the Femme Fatale show.
Short shorts, bouncing balls and gay rights? Count us in! The Atlanta arm of the national Human Rights Campaign serves (and volleys) its inaugural tennis social to raise funds in its ongoing efforts. It’s a doubles event, and players of all skill levels are welcome, as well as any and all cheerleaders who don’t play themselves.
From the gays who bring you Toy Party at the holidays and so much more all year long comes their signature summer soiree. For The Kid serves drinks and nosh; you serve garden party fabulous; and needy kids in Georgia serve backpack-schoolsupply realness when school starts with the backpack you donate for entry.
Friday, July 22, 9 p.m. • Burkhart’s • 1492 Piedmont Ave. NE • burkharts.com
Saturday, July 23, 6 p.m. Sunday, July 24, 12 noon • Lester Tennis Center • 400 Park Drive NE • Cator Woolford Gardens • hrc.org/sfeatlanta • 1815 S. Ponce de Leon NE • forthekid.org
davidatlanta.com | 13
Seen@
14 | 7.20.16
Spice Girls Book Launch Party at Slice
photos: James Hicks
Seen@
16 | 7.20.16
Dine Out for Out Front Theatre at 10th & Piedmont
photos: James Hicks
Britney Spears Mother of two, Britney is one of the most notable MILF out there today. Her relationship and marriage to Kevin Federline was the only thing anyone ever talked about at the time, and even though that was one hell of a messy ride, it resulted in BriBri becoming a mom twice. Not only is Britney getting paid out the ass from her residency in Vegas, she’s not showing any signs that she’s done yet. With a new album slated for release later this year, I’m hoping and, quite frankly, begging for it to be good. Jennifer Lopez The title of her latest song is “Ain’t Your Mama,” and Jennifer Lopez is actually a momma in every sense of the word. She is literally a mother to her twins, Max and Emme, and figuratively nursing her 29 year old boy toy, Casper. Hey, these aren’t judging eyes. I say go for it! Get down with your 46 year old self and get that younger man. Keep showing these young wannabes that there will only be one Jenny From The Block, ever. Nelly Furtado Definitely the most underrated on this list, Nelly Furtado has got to be one of the hottest moms on the planet. Rising to fame back in 2001 with her hit “I’m Like a Bird” and again in 2006 with “Promiscous Girl,” the Canadian born singer, whose parents are Portuguese, has one daughter. Even though she’s been off the grid for a few years, she hints that she’ll finally release new music this year. Beyonce Even thought I still don’t 100 percent believe that Beyonce actually had a baby, you have to hand it to her: She’s frickin’ gorgeous. She’s talented, fit and a modern day feminist and activist. The mother of one is consistently blowing people away with her career achievements. When you look up the word “slay” in the The Dutchess is back! Fergie of Black Eyed Peas fame is at it dictionary, there’s just a picture of Beyonce. again with another comeback single. Just like everyone else in the world, completely forget about her first comeback single Christina Aguilera back in 2014 “L.A. Love (La La). Focus all your juices instead on Along with Beyonce and Nelly, another curvy MILF is the legendary Xtina. Proving once again to all the body shamers out there, her latest track “M.I.L.F.$” you can still be sexy and have a normal body. The mother of Yes, that wasn’t a typo. I actually meant to type M.I.L.F.$. Now, two can definitely juggle being a mother and having a successfor those of you not up with the culture and the times, a M.I.L.F ful entertainment career too. Here’s hoping that she can come is slang that’s short for “Mom I’d Like to F***.” And she is, well back with a killer album that will prove to everyone she still has figuratively. But get this: Fergie is so quirky and cutting edge singing talent and not just fertile eggs. that she says that HER “M.I.L.F.$” actually means “Moms I’d Like to Follow”. Yeah OK. Gwen Stefani The “Hollerback” songstress ended her 13-year marriage to Ladies and gentlemen, this is pop music of 2016 at its best! Gavin Rossdale last year, which was one of the biggest “out of nowhere” breakups in the history of breakups. A mother to Shoot. Me. Now. not one, not two, but three kids, she looks amazing. Maybe In celebration of Fergie Ferg’s return to the music biz with her ode to there will be a No. 4 on the way with boyfriend Blake Shelton. hot moms, why not spotlight all the hot moms out there doing their Squeeeeeeeeeee!!! thang by making music, poppin’ babies out, AND looking hot AF?
MILF$ Pop: Moms I Like are Fierce
Fergie Anybody who can bed Josh Duhamel and procreate with that sexy beast automatically gets included on a MILF list simply by association because Josh is a total DILF. The two married in 2009, have been together for 13 years, and have a 2 year old running around breaking hearts everywhere he goes. 18 | 7.20.16
DJ Marc J Cubs
DJ Marc J Cubs is a beat bandit and columnist living in Atlanta. Watch for him spinning various events and venues around town. Send your musical questions and comments to him via this magazine.
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“A SMART, DEEPLY TOUCHING AND BIG-HEARTED NEW MUSICAL.”
From the Pulitzer Prize & Tony Award-winning Creators of Next to Normal, the Director of Rent and the Producer of Wicked
August 9-14 FoxTheatre.org/IfThen 855-285-8499
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PHOTOS: JOAN MARCUS; ILLUSTRATION: ZINA SAUNDERS
-The Washington Post
davidatlanta.com | 21
leisure
PARKS
& REC by Mike Fleming
WE ALL KNOW ABOUT PIEDMONT. BUT WHICH ATLANTA PARK IS REALLY RIGHT FOR YOU? GAY DATES, HIKES, BOY WATCHING AND AMUSEMENTS MIGHT MEAN A DIFFERENT GAY PLAYGROUND AWAITS.
D
love to remind you guys about in our Atlanta Parks issue each year. We limit our list to intown choices and pick just five here to give you a taste. In 2011, one gay Atlanta couple noticed the sheer variety of parks and made it their mission to advocate for the fabulousness. And how does a gay man advocate? With events, of course!
id you know that before we were the “City Too Busy To Hate,” Atlanta’s official tagline was the “City in a Forest”? Randall Fox and Patrick Dennis founded the non-profit Atlanta Makes sense when you think about it. Our gorgeous natural Foundation for Public Spaces for the sole purpose of hosting arts canopy is one of our signature moves, and local parks work festivals at as many metro parks as the calendar would allow. what Mother Nature gave ‘em like Beyonce at a Super Bowl. From early spring to late fall, they serve art booths, food Parks are the perfect place to let your hair down, and as gay vendors, music and fun at least once a month. Even if you men we appreciate that our hometown parks offer enough didn’t know it was them, you’ve probably been to or heardof options to find or rediscover the right one for dates, dog Piedmont Park Arts Festival, Festival on Ponce, or Old Fourth Ward Park Arts Festival. walking or daydreaming. From our gay sports leagues to our annual Pride festival, from running to stay fit to our intimate strolls with Mr. Right Now, much of gay life in Atlanta happens in parks. This week, we are more than happy to celebrate it with a list of our favorite intown haunts.
Next on the AFFPS calendar is the Piedmont Park Arts Festival, which is right up gay Midtown’s alley. Sandy Springs Festival comes in September, October brings Festival on Ponce in Olmsted Linear Park, and look for Chastain Park Arts Festival in November.
Of course, your gay homebase at Piedmont Park is the crowning For this year’s issue, we took a cue from AFFPS and used it as a jewel, but there are dozens of alternatives big and small that we springboard to introduce a few of our favorites. 22 | 7.20.16
CITY BOYS: Grant Park Most of us didn’t even know who this park was named after, much less that L.P. Grant was a Georgia Railroad planner who has been called the “Father of Atlanta.” Just a stone’s throw from downtown, this green space and sourround neighborhood
that bears his name was originally considered a suburb far from the madding city. Now home to he Atlanta Zoo, the park still has the shade, swings and usual park trappings, but more as an urban oasis than a quiet getaway.
DATE SPOT: Lullwater Park Our favorite hidden gem on the list, Lullwater is quietly tucked you’re the only person for miles. The layout also makes for away on the Emory campus. Chances are that you’ve driven great photo opps, and the peaceful, nature-focused theme right by it without ever knowing it was there. With nooks, means there aren’t little kids making noise within earshot. heavy foliage and secluded areas, you can easily imagine davidatlanta.com | 23
HIKING: Sweetwater Creek State Park Just off I-20, some intown guys may feel like this is a drive, but hikers know it’s actually super nearby and great for weekend outings. Many of the trails are challenging for newbies, so know that going in, but the payoff comes when you round the
FITNESS BUFFS: Chastain Memorial Park Most of us have been to the amphitheatre of the same name on these grounds, but the rest of this intown park makes for a great retreat whether there’s a concert in town or not. Running and walking rails, tennis courts, ball fields and picnic pavilions make a welcome change from Piedmont. 24 | 7.20.16
corner to the ruins of an old mill. There are even Yurts for rent, and the titular creek is usually shallow enough to walk through. For daytrippers, the 215-acre George Sparks Reservoir is great for hanging out to fish or feed the ducks.
AMUSEMENTS: Stone Mountain Park How many Facebook Live posts have you seen from here so far? Thought so. That’s because the Civil War Memorial is one of the most popular destinations in Atlanta. The largest above-ground, single piece of Granite in North America is one thing, but there are 3,200 acres surrounding it. The public art, history center, and of course that hike and apex view, make this a must do any time of year.
community
5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT
Backpack in the Park by Mike Fleming
patrons shop for more than one, but organizations and businesses donate many as a group. And it’s not just backpacks – each one is filled with school supplies mushroomed into the annual Toy Party families may not be able to readily afford. you know and love. It got so big – drawing thousands each year – the non-profit WHAT’S IN IT? For The Kid In All Of Us (FTK) was formed Each backpack should arrive at the to handle the sheer size of the event and event packed with the following items: Six 2-pocket folders, two spiral notevolume of donations. books, two filler paper (wide rule), 12 But what could they do the rest of the No. 2 pencils, one colored Pencils 12year? Backpack in the Park was born as the pack, and one 3-ring binder. You can answer in 2006. The push touches back to also simply donate to buy a backpack – those underprivileged kids touched by Toy $30 at forthekid.org or $40 at the door Party as they go back to school. It was a – but where’s the fun in that? perfect fit for the FTK mission and the allPARTY PARTICULARS volunteer gays who make it all happen. Think garden fabulous for your look, and know that everything from shorts NAMESAKE For The Kid? Yaaasss! The loot goes to 18 to seersucker will be appropriate. Once local organizations that are dedicated to you’re settled on what to wear, psyche Georgia children and teens. The number up for a brunch buffet, adult beverages, of backpacks collected and gift cards for live entertainment, garden games and a even more reaches into the thousands raffle drawing. each year, touching the lives of some The event takes place Sunday, July 24 12,000 local families. from 12 noon – 3:30 p.m. on the gorgeous grounds at Cator Woolford Gardens BACKPACKS THOUGH? Yep! The goal for 2016 is to add 3,600 at the Frazer Center, 1815 S. Ponce de backpacks to the cause. Not only do some Leon Ave. NE. Visit forthekid.org.
ANNUAL MUST-DO GAY GARDEN PARTY GATHERS STEAM, AS YOUR ADMISSION GATHERS BACKPACKS FOR GEORGIA KIDS
A
s the long, hot summer starts to round the corner toward August, it’s back-to-school time in Georgia, even for the oldest gays. At least, that’s when hundreds of us will tip cocktails together for the state’s students in need. With tents to keep the sun off your back, libations flowing and snacks popping, the 11th annual Backpack in the Park from gay organizers For The Kid In All Of Us is ready to blast off on Sunday, July 24. As the name implies, the gay-run event and its dozens of gay patrons come together with backpacks full of school supplies as the entry fee to the soiree, but how much else do you know about it? Here are the facts that keep us coming back year after year. YOU KNOW WHO Back in 2003, a private holiday party went down with then-no one, now-someone Atlanta City Council member Alex Wan. It collected toys for kids and quickly
26 | 7.20.16
OTE Critical Local Runoff
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theatre lifestyle
Apocalypse Wow by Jeffery Silvey
“The entire meadow is made up of waist-high grass, wildflowers, and weeds,” Clowdus explains. “It feels like walking through a jungle. The set Boubil and Richard Matlby Jr., and the is planted in the meadow; it almost book by Schönberg and Boubil. The show feels like a war zone with a shipping is sung straight through, like the team’s container in the field. It really feels like other notable hit, Les Misérables. you’re entering this Vietnam War site.”
EPIC PRODUCTION OF MISS SAIGON MAKES DIRECTOR'S DREAM COME TRUE WHILE CREATING AN ATLANTA FIRST
G
et ready, Atlanta theater gays. The metro is about get the first professional-theater production in Georgia of the musical Miss Saigon. From the jungles of war-torn Vietnam, it famously tells a story of love at first “Miss Saigon has always been near sight, fate and what happens when a and dear to my heart,” says Brian once-desired love isn’t your destiny. Clowdus, the show’s director and Serenbe Playhouse’s Artistic Director. There is one scene in the musical that “It was the first Broadway show I saw. actually takes place in Atlanta, but there I really connected to the love story, has never been a successfully mounted this whole idea of fate and love at first production of the show in the Peach State sight, and how incredibly heartbreakuntil now. Serenbe Playhouse in Palmetto ing it all is.” changes all that with this show staging July 21 – Aug. 14, one of the last in the Clowdus’ chance of a lifetime means country before the Broadway revival. he’s going big with it, after chasing the show for years. Miss Saigon follows Chris, an American GI, and Kim, a barmaid, during the “It’s our biggest show to date,” he continVietnam War. Despite the chaotic con- ues. “Now that we are in our seventh seaditions surrounding their chance meet- son, we were finally able to get the rights ing, they fall hard and look forward to to the show, and we have the capacity to a life together post-war. Their plans are actually do it.” dashed when Saigon falls and American troops withdraw. The capacity means a special venue for Serenbe Playhouse and its site-specific Based on the classic opera Madame shows produced outdoors. Miss Saigon Butterfly, the show features music by will be performed in the Wildflower Claude-Michel Schönberg, lyrics by Alain Meadow at Serenbe.
28 | 7.20.16
Clowdus pushes the envelope and thinks outside of the box. “I told everyone we were going to land a helicopter,” he says through a laugh. “I knew it had to happen, so I started telling everyone so I would be forced to make it happen.” As fate would have it, the Army Aviation Foundation not far from Serenbe agreed to provide an actual Vietnam-flown Huey helicopter landing nightly during each show. There is the saying that it takes a village to raise a child, but Serenbe demonstrates that when a community comes together, the sky really is the limit. Miss Saigon opens July 21 runs through Aug. 14 at Serenbe Playhouse, Palmetto. Visit serenbeplayhouse.com.
Come View our Decorated Model Limited Time Only! Purchase a To-Be-Built Home and Receive:
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Townhomes from the upper $300s
For more information, please call Heather Isaac at 678.627.0772. *Available only when you close on a home in the Towns at Breton Ridge community pursuant to a contract you sign on or between 7/1/16-7/30/16. Receipt of $15,000 Use How You Choose Credits and $7,500 Closing Costs is subject to limits and is contingent upon buyer closing a loan with our affiliated lender, CalAtlantic Mortgage and obtaining title insurance from our affiliated title agent, CalAtlantic Mortgage. The offer to pay closing costs does not include payment of prepaid taxes, property or mortgage insurance, or mortgage installments. Pre-payments of HOA assessments are typically subject to lender limits. The offer to pay closing costs does not include payment of prepaid taxes, property or mortgage insurance, or mortgage installments. Seller provided credits may be applied to upgrades, options, etc. Upgrades and options available solely through Seller’s Design Center. Availability of items may vary by community. The combined value of seller incentives, credits and other seller contributions may exceed lender limits established for the loan program for which buyer qualifies. Buyer should ask his or her lender about the impact of such limits. Plans to build out this neighborhood as proposed are subject to change without notice. Prices, plans and terms are effective on the date of publication and subject to change without notice. Depictions of homes or other features are artist conceptions. Hardscape, landscape and other items shown may be decorator suggestions that are not included in the purchase price and availability may vary. CalAtlantic Mortgage, Inc., NMLS# 203897, Georgia Residential Mortgage Licensee License #24225, 8660 E Hartford Drive, Suite 200A, Scottsdale, AZ; 1000 Mansell Exchange West, Suite 210, Alpharetta, GA License #68278. CAATL013 davidatlanta.com | 29
culture
Gay 101 by Mike Fleming
for Straight Girls
WE LOVE OUR FRUIT FLIES, FAG HAGS AND TORIS. THEY MAY NOT ALWAYS KNOW THE BEST WAY TO BE A BESTIE. HERE’S 15 THINGS SHE NEEDS TO KNOW.
M
ove over, Rover. Everybody knows that at least one straight girl can be gay man’s best friend as much as his pooch. Who else is going to giggle at all of your jokes, hand you the ice cream spoon when you kick assholes to the curb, or get drunker than you so that you’re not the worst lush in the bar? Or you know, more respectable stuff as well. Still, try as we might to bring that country cutie to the big city with us, or to fully indoctrinate the suburban party girl into our inner city gay ways, sometimes she’s going to need a Gay-toEnglish translator. We’re here to help. 1. We don’t want to make out. Unless we do. But we probably don’t. We are not going through a phase, and we don’t want to have a threeway with your boyfriend. And probably neither does he. Unless we do. If so, get out. 2. We don’t know your other gay friend. No, really. And we don’t want to go on a blind date with him either. There’s no secret gay club – not to mention no gay agenda! – where we initiate and catalog every ‘mo who comes out. 3. Only other gay men can call us girl. And only then when we let them, which we may or may not. It’s instinctive and situational, and you won’t get it. 4. We’re not all sluts. Unless we are, and that doesn’t mean we want to talk about the finer points of butt sex with you. Speaking of which, no one is “the woman.” That’s kinda the point. 5. We don’t all love Beyonce. But she is a goddess. Just is. Deal with it. 6. We can’t fix your outfit or hair. Unless we can. Then you better listen up. 7. We are the OG outsiders. Unique is old hat. It’s going to take a lot to impress us with originality. Bring your best. 30 | 7.20.16
davidatlanta.com | 31
8. Not ‘all the cute ones are gay.’ But there are an awful lot, and you’re cockblocking sometimes. Go find your own. 9. Stop using me as your fake boyfriend. Pretty sure your mom, your grandmother, and everyone at that wedding knew what was up when we screamed and ran to the dance floor. 10. We did not choose to be gay. But we are amazing at embracing it. 11. We come in all shapes and sizes. Not all of us look, act, talk, or dress a certain way. In fact, we serve as many flavors as there are colors in the rainbow spectrum. More. Don’t talk to gays you don’t know as if you have us all figured out. 12. We aren’t always available. We can’t stay out all night at the drop of a hat. We have lives. We shouldn’t be expected to come calling every time you cry. 13. We are going to keep talking about gay rights. The fight isn’t over, and yes it really matters. How would you feel if someone told you you’re an abomination at worst and a second class at best? 14. Stop saying “that’s gay.” It’s offensive. It implies there’s something negative about being gay, and hello? Look at us. Nothing wrong here. 15. We hide some insecurities. Don’t say crazy shit because you think we can take it. We may look all rainbows and confidence, but we want and deserve to be accepted. 16. If you have questions about gay sex, Google it. Please. Pitchers, catchers, positions, roles… it’s all there with graphic photos. Lock the door and learn, and let us keep our personal proclivities to ourselves.
32 | 7.20.16
davidatlanta.com | 33
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literature
the #chem by Mike Fleming
AN UNFLINCHING LOOK AT HOW METH STEALS AN ASTONISHING NUMBER OF GAY MEN’S SEX LIVES, AND THEIR ROAD TO GETTING IT BACK
L
et’s not beat around the bush. Meth is killing gay sex, and the dirty little secret epidemic whispered between gay men is far from over. The good news is that while gay Atlanta is not immune by any stretch, parts of it are involved in finding solutions, including the 2015 book Lust, Men & Meth: A Gay Man’s Guide to Sex and Recovery. You know the story. It’s all Party N Play until somebody’s life gets ruined. And it’s happening on a daily basis among gay men in Atlanta and across the world. Few doctors or gay advocates have been as brave and unapologetic about the topic as author David Fawcett, PhD, an addiction therapist. He unmasks the way meth attaches itself to the libido, elevates sexual experiences, then doesn’t let go even after gay men stop using. Former gay Atlantan and AIDS activist Mark King writes the book foreword. “I contributed the foreword because this issue – separating my past meth use from my sex life – has been the single biggest challenge to my ongoing recovery from addiction,” says King, who chronicles his 30-year HIV status, addiction recovery and their surrounding issues on his blog, “My Fabulous Life.” “This book goes there, directly and with great compassion and insight,” King says. “As someone who can be triggered by various things, I can only say that Fawcett remains just clinically detached enough to make the patient stories relevant but never indulgent or exploitative. There is a healthy sex life on the other side of addiction, and this book maps the way.” So there’s hope. The book’s authentic approach that comes from years of working with gay men suffering at the hands of meth could save lives, even as so many of us struggle to avoid the topic in polite company while just as many have struggled in silence with the effects of the addiction and recovery.
40 | 7.20.16
msex bandit Lust, Men, and Meth provides the first practical resource for meth recovery and the restoration of healthy sex and intimacy. Fawcett outlines the seductive appeal meth use, its impact on high-risk behaviors and desire, and a resulting fusion of meth and sex in the brain. It may not be fun or fancy, but devastating addiction and sexual dysfunction are worth compromising our Southern mores and maxims to talk about it. Any gay man who experiences it, as well as anyone who loves one who does, can get something out of this book. The book outlines dozens of cases that slowly begin to outline a path toward healing, describing phases of physical, emotional, and sexual recovery with tools for men who are off meth but now just want their sex lives back. It wraps with valuable information, relapse-prevention skills, and guidance for the therapeutic work necessary for healthy intimacy. The book is divided into three parts, and they mirror the problem as gay me experience it. “The Perfect Storm” examines how entices guys through brain chemistry to take risks, as well as gay cultural phenomenon like feeling unattractive and unworthy of adult intimacy. Secondly, “Exploring the Sexual Universe” investigates desire and eroticism in the brain and how meth penetrates and distorts it. It unearths new discoveries about the brain’s ability to change and adapt to compulsive behaviors. Finally, “Restoring Your Life” explores the process of recovery in detail, with chapters on specific skills, managing feelings, and rethinking perspectives on sex. With increased distance from the drug, such powerful emotions as vulnerability, anxiety, or shame, which so many gay men bury with meth use, can actually now promote emotional transformations that ultimately enrich a guy’s sexual and emotional life that’s joyful and expressive.
relationships with himself, his loved ones, and even the gay community at large. Lust, Men & Meth is available via Amazon in paperback and for Kindle. Also check out facebook.com/lustmenmeth.
IceBreakers is a gay and gay-friendly Crystal Meth Anonymous group in Atlanta. They meet several times a In the end, Lust, Men & Meth takes all that work and uses week at Galano Club in Midtown. Visit galano.org. it to create a path for a gay guy in recovery to rebuild davidatlanta.com | 41
Seen@
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Peach Party with DJ Phil B at Heretic
photos: Matt Hennie
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Friday Nights at Cockpit
photos: Russ Youngblood
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Bubba Bang at Atlanta Eagle
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the D list David Atlanta’s weekly list of truths all gay men have come to know
10 things gay men wish we knew earlier
Trust Yourself
Find Your ‘Inner Reason’
There Will be Days
Non-Linear Progress
Rest
First Impressions Matter
Diversify
Don’t Compare Yourself
Ask for Help
The majority isn’t always right. Just because everyone thinks something is true, investigate, consider and decide for yourself.
Sometimes you just won’t want to adult. Doing it despite, and especially, on these days is one of life’s greatest lessons.
Your look may not be anybody’s business, and what they think may not be any of yours. But we all live with the consequences.
There's always someone prettier, smarter, faster. It’s not about them. Your only competition is being better than you were yesterday.
Up, up, up is a nice thought. Life isn’t like that. Learn the difference between slow progress and stagnation.
What’s your key motivation? Make it not about impressing others or looking good and remind yourself when the going gets tough.
‘Ain’t you tired, Miss Hilly? Ain’t you tired?’ Yes you are, girl. Overworking leads to burnout, illness and even injury.
Focus on different goals and various times. Change things up. It will keep you more mentally interested and give you a break from repetition.
No man is an island, Mary. Learn from the experiences of others, reach out for their input, and accept their support.
Have Fun
Fun can be overdone, but it’s not overrated. You know deep down that the journey is the destination. Enjoy the process.
Got an idea for an upcoming D List? Want to share your truths with the rest of the Gay-TL? Write mike@davidatlanta.com so we can include it. 58 | 7.20.16
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10th St. NE
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B1 Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave NE B2 Blake's 227 10th St NE B3 Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St NE B4 Friends 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE B5 The Model T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE B6 My Sister’s Room 66 12th St NE
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Dining th D1 10 & Piedmont 991 Piedmont Ave NE D2 Einstein's 1077 Juniper St NE D3 F.R.O.G.S 931 Monroe Cir NE D4 G’s Midtown 219 10th St NE D5 Henry’s 132 10th St NE D6 Joe's on Juniper 1049 Juniper St NE D7 La Hacienda 900 Monroe Dr NE
B4
Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
D8 Ten Atlanta 990 Piedmont Ave NE Retail R1 Barking Leather AfterDark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE Clubs C1 Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
Hair/Beauty H1 Helmet 970 Piedmont Ave NE Fitness F1 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE Spa/Bath S1 Flex Spa 76 4th St NW
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B1 Burkhart's 1492 Piedmont Ave NE B2 Felix's 1510 Piedmont Ave NE B3 The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE B4 Mixx 1492 Piedmont Ave NE B5 Oscar's 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Not Shown
Bars The Cockpit Atlanta 465 Boulevard SE Mary's 1287 Glenwood Ave SE Sister Louisa’s Church 466 Edgewood Ave SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW
Dining D1 Cowtippers 1600 Piedmont Ave NE Retail R1 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE R2 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Hair/Beauty H1 Bubbles Salon 1579 Monroe Dr NE
Dining Lips Atlanta 3011 Buford Hwy NE Club Club Rush 2715 Buford Hwy NE Spa/Bath Qi Clay Sauna 130 Buford Hwy A-107
davidatlanta.com | 61
bartab
got an upcoming event?
calendar@davidatlanta.com
Monday
Friday
BLAKE’S Martini Monday’s with Doug and Heros • Pride Kickball, Host Bar 8pm • Ru Paul's Drag Race 9pm with Edie Cheezburger BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke with Darlene at 10PM COCKPIT $3.00 House Draft EAGLE Music Videos with Scotty FRIENDS Texas Hold'em 8:30pm HIDEAWAY Industry Night 1/2 Off Well, Domestic, & Wine JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11:30pm MODEL T Monday Night Madness 8pm OSCAR’S Service Industry Night SWINGING RICHARDS Hip-Hop Night, Sponsored by Hennessy 8:30pm TRIPPS Customer Appreciation All Drinks $1.00 Off WOOFS Texas Hold'em Poker 7:30pm
BLAKE’S TGIF with Doug & Brent 3-9pm • “Deadly Vixens” Drag Show 11pm • Bill Berdeaux Spins Street Level BURKHART’S FEMME FATALE with Destiny Brooks and Justice Taylor at 11PM CLUB RUSH “Got Leche” Free entry until 11pm 18 & up - Open until 4am COCKPIT $6.00 SkyFall Wine EAGLE DJ Dance Party HERETIC PUMP featuring Atlanta’s hottest deejays - Occasional special events. No cover b4 11 HIDEAWAY $5 Smirnoff drinks & Martinis DJ Marc J. Cubs @10pm in back room JUNGLE The Other Show with Edie Cheezburger 9:30pm LIPS ATLANTA Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas Style MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 9pm OSCAR’S Music Video Night SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review,$10 TEN ATLANTA Music & Videos by DJ Daryl Cox 10pm TRIPPS Jeremy Presents “Skin” 4pm - 2am WOOFS Fur Fridays
Tuesday BLAKE’S Latin Night with Guest DJ’s • 1/2 Priced Menu ‘til Midnight BURKHART’S DRAG-EOKE with Angelica D’Paige at 10PM CLUB RUSH “Tipsy Tuesday” 18 & up - Open until 4am COCKPIT $5.00 Smirnoff Drinks FRIENDS Let's Make A Deal with Ken 6pm HIDEAWAY Game night: Poker and blackjack 7:30 Trivia with Jason Walker 8:30 LAS MARGARITAS Cuban Night - $12.95 All You Can Eat Cuban Buffet & $5 Mojitos MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 7pm OSCAR’S Show Tune Tuesday SWINGING RICHARDS 1/2 Price cover WOOFS Poker Professional Hour
Wednesday BLAKE’S Party Pop Hits w/ Doug 3-9pm. “Voyeur Wednesday” Go-go guys, 10 p.m. BURKHART’S HUMPDAY KARAOKE with Darlene at 10PM COCKPIT Karaoke - Humpday Specials FRIENDS Hump Night with Regina Simms 8pm HERETIC WarpZone Video Game Night 7pm - Pig Dance Black Out Party DJ Stan Jackson 10pm-3am NO COVER HIDEAWAY Beauty and the beat! Ruby Redd Charity Bingo @8:30 free to play. karaoke W/ Tyler @ 11:00 $ 3.00 well drinks all day long JUNGLE Dragnificent Season 4 - 9pm LIPS ATLANTA Bitchy Bingo MODEL T Wonderful Wednesdays 7pm OSCAR'S JukeBox Wednesdays TRIPPS Hump Day Buffet Free Food @ 5 pm w/ Drink Purchase WOOFS Trivia and Bear Hump Hour
Thursday BLAKE’S Texas Hold em Poker 7pm • #TBT 90's Divas with Shawnna Brooks 11pm BURKHART’S DANCEFLOOR DIVAS with Phoenix (RuPaul’s Drag Race s3) at 11:30PM COCKPIT Customer Appreciation Night EAGLE Balls Deep Karaoke w/ Mikey FACES LOUNGE The All Star Cabaret Drag Show & Karaoke FRIENDS Texas Hold'em 8:30pm; Regina hosts Ladies Nite 10pm HERETIC 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm Free dance lessons 8-9pm. No cover. HIDEAWAY Hot Mic’ Comedy w/ Ian Aber at 10pm followed by Karaoke at 11:30. Draft Beer Special LAS MARGARITAS Dirty South Trivia $5 Smirnoff & Cuervo Drinks. House Cash Prizes & $5 Wings LIPS ATLANTA Dinner with the Divas MODEL T Pre-Weekend Party! 7pm OSCAR’S Thirsty Thursday SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP & Entry WOOFS Country Music Night 7pm 62 | 7.20.16
Saturday 10TH & PIEDMONT Bottomless Mimosa Brunch BLAKE’S Open at 1pm • “Glitter Bomb” w Edie Cheezburger • Guest DJs Upstairs 10pm-close. BURKHART’S SYNERGY with Shawnna Brooks and Monica Van Pelt at 11PM CAMPAGNOLO Legendary Musician Robert Ray on the piano 10pm-1am COCKPIT Karaoke & $2.00 Tacos EAGLE DJ Dance Party FRIENDS Free Pool 2-6pm HERETIC Varies. EARLY COUNTRY (8pm-12:30am) & LATE NIGHT DANCE with Billboard DJ MIKE POPE @12:30-close. No cover except special events. HIDEAWAY $2.50 All Well Drinks JUNGLE Fantasy Girls 9pm; Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s LIPS ATLANTA Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas Style MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 3pm OSCAR’S Music Video Night SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review $10 TEN ATLANTA Music & Videos by DJ Rob Reum 10pm WOOFS Game Day
Sunday 10TH & PIEDMONT Bellini Brunch BLAKE’S Open at 1pm - Bloody Mary’s with Robin. Texas Hold em Poker Upstairs 2pm. • "Midtown Rouge" Drag Show w/ Peaches 8:30pm • High Energy with DJs Will Bryan & Bill Berdeaux. BURKHART’S Tossed Salad hosted by Brigitte Bidet - Music & Drinks 10pm - Showtime 10:30pm CLUB RUSH Hip Hop and R&B - 18 & up - Open until 4am COCKPIT Movie Night FRIENDS Open Sunday 2pm-12am HIDEAWAY $3.50 wells the Armorettes @8:00 LIPS ATLANTA Gospel Brunch w/ Bubba D. Licious LAS MARGARITAS Papi’s $17.95 Unlimited Brunch & Choice of Mimosas, Sangrias, Bloody Maria’s, & Mojitos OSCAR'S Sunday Funday TEN ATLANTA Brunch 11am & music by DJ Rob Reum inside and DJ Robert Ansley on the patio 4pm TRIPPS 2nd & 4th Sunday - Open Mike Show 6pm WOOFS Sunday Funday
davidatlanta.com | 63
advice
Knowing when to walk away is hard, but it’s often the best thing you can do for yourself. The quicker you pull the trigger, the less energy you spend making up for lost time. Hey, Daddy! When my partner and I got serious years ago, we connected over hating heteronormative bullshit ideas of marriage. We loved not having the restrictions of government telling us how to live our lives and conduct our coupling. Of course, times change and so do people. He’s starting to talk about “husbands,” and I sense that he’s softening to the idea of harnessing our love to the system. Fixed At Exact Relationship I Envisioned Dear FAERIE:
HEY,
Daddy! Hey, Daddy!
Start by talking it out. “Sensing” what he’s thinking may come easier with the years you two have under your belts, but it’s no substitute for just asking where he stands. If he is interested in marriage, ask him why – not to respond, but to listen. Whether you come to a new agreement or decide to stick with your old one, think carefully before marriage. Even with all your experience together, consider your options and know your deal breakers before making the knot even harder to untie. Just because the gay wedding train is rolling doesn’t mean it’s a trip worth taking. Gay couples new and old are marrying at the pace of a bad reality show, but every pair should think carefully, then step back and consider again.
I’m hopelessly in love, emphasis on hopeless. I’ve been with the same man for two years – the longest I’ve Hey, Daddy! ever stayed with a guy. We’re sexually compatible, and on a good day he makes me laugh. Those bad I spent as much as 80 hours a week making partner, and now that I’m 35, I’m ready to build a personal life. days though! Ugh! But the gay world has passed me by! I’m busy all the It started as passive-aggressive comments, then be- time, and no guys are interested. What should I do? came outright belittling my every move. These days, I can’t make a decision without a critique, even in front Finding Anxiety Scheduling Time of friends. I want to give him a second chance because I really love the guy, but what I see as insults he says is Dear FAST: helping me be better. Too many of gay men spend our younger years finding success How can I get him to stop before everything is ruined? without regard to finding balance. Seriously Absolutely Perplexed Dear SAP: Everything is already ruined. After two years, he has already had a second chance – and a third, and a hundredth. You don’t need help being better; you need a boyfriend who sees you as already awesome. You’re not perplexed. You’re scared of losing love, but love is a first step, not the endgame. It’s not that you love each other, it’s how you love each other. 64 | 7.20.16
Life is short. Slow down and find a way to savor it. Define yourself by more than what you do for a living. And it’s never too late to start. Plenty of guys are interested in a man with a good job who knows (now) what he wants.
Daddy
Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out to him with your burning questions via our editor, mike@davidatlanta.com. Warning: Advice given in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty purposes. Please proceed at your own risk.
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fairyscopes ARIES (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19):
LIBRA (Sep. 23 – Oct. 22):
TAURUS (Apr. 20 – May 20):
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21):
GEMINI (May 21- Jun. 20):
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21):
CANCER (Jun. 21- Jul. 22):
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19):
LEO (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22):
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18):
VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sep. 22):
PISCES (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20):
You’re due for a reprieve from introspection and introversion. Inject light-hearted, soul-lifting, guffaw-inducing playtime, but remember good times won’t miraculously nullify the heavier stuff you’re dealing with. Too much fun further embroils you in the long run.
Pivot your attentions back inward away from that need to hold your own in continuing sagas of discord. The discord isn’t over, but it behooves you to take periodic time-outs. Stay home and nurture your inner spirit. If the ‘relational discord’ is at home, you might have to get creative about where else you can get some private time.
You’ve been in the trenches with the day-to-day, but you need some novel social input to refresh your senses. It’s not the content of your exchanges that matters as much as the very act of socializing. Swap warmth and smiles to remind you of the gorgeous variations between each individual soul. Few realizations are more life affirming.
The moment is ripe to fully and frankly identify what you want. With your remarkable intuitiveness, you ought be able to indisputably feel which particular target(s) your body’s pulling you towards (or away from). Demonstrate that you want to make a good impression. Massage egos a smidge while playing yourself up as a valuable asset.
Be open about your feelings. You’re more sensitive to ultrapersonal triggers and consequently less ‘put-together’ in performing charm. Still, don’t back away from putting yourself out there. Just crack a warm smile, even in the face of confessing a hurt, venting an injustice, or wiping away tears. It will remind everyone of your huge heart.
Do yourself a huge favor and step back from having too firm an opinion or too vocal an observation. You need a break from being so ‘on’ all the time. You might still have to officially show your face, but you don’t have to show all-the-way up every time. Grant yourself lots of leeway to enjoy private, self-indulgent purposelessness.
66 | 7.20.16
More details on your gay horoscope at
Astrobarry.com by Barry Perlman.
After distinguishing yourself from the crowd, now deftly swerve back into the collective mix. Join with your trustiest colleagues and comrades to reaffirm common interests. Mindfully speak to foster a sense of community, but without falling into the presumptuous trap of speaking for anybody else. It’s an excellent time to nail down a key alliance or three.
Remember there’s an audience of impressionable opinionshapers and power-players you can use to ‘work the system.' Your passion and determination aren't enough to suit the egos of those looking for someone who scrubs up real nice, puts on a chummy air, and panders to their interests. Assert yourself, but don’t underestimate the benefits of being approachably likable.
Expect another wave of anticipatory excitement, which could also manifest as fidgetiness. Allow yourself the joy of starting to speak more openly, but only in generalities, about the new life-elements you’re intending to build soon. Fuel the excitement. Tap into the energy. Just stop short of officially spilling the beans
Nothing will happen if you beat around the bush, sweep things under the rug, or try to be carefully controlled. To make progress, expressly address what’s really going on and don’t tiptoe around red-button issues. There’ll be a good outcome if you stay the course. Too many outside opinions will only muddy your perspective with others’ irrelevant motives.
Deliberately carve out large chunks of your day to dedicate to those you appreciate the most. Don’t focus so singlemindedly on meeting goals, handling business, and getting everything in order as much as fostering greater in-the-moment appreciation of your key partnerships. And not just spewing a few social-media niceties.
You’re clearer now on which principles and values most rouse your passion. Don’t follow a strict script of compliance, but let your spirit roar to do that righteous deed. What bad behavior have you regrettably signed off on? What opportunity are you letting pass by? Complete at least three concrete to-dos and set yourself up to tend a bone-gnawing passion.
Bitch
S E S S I O N
SEND US YOUR BITCHES! Text 404.969.BTCH, tweet @BitchSessionATL or email bitch@davidatlanta.com *This page reflects the bitchiness of the community not David Atlanta or its publisher (although we’re bitchy too!)
PSA: Posting about it on Facebook is not doing something about it. Better yet, posting on Facebook is not doing something. Period.
When I told you you'd be an actor, I meant act interested in the guy blowing you, not that you'd be the next Nicole Kidman. Dial it down, sweetie.
Show me a guy who has to announce he's masc, and I'll show you a self-hating neurotic.
Is miso a carb? Asking for a friend.
You dress your adopted daugther like Slutty Britney in 2001. That's your age and dreams showing, not hers.
Glad PokemonGo is here to distract Bernie supporters so they whine less.
68 | 7.20.16
Woulda Coulda Shoulda... Didn't! Move on.
153 likes on that thirsty pic, and none are from the only like you want to see.
Why can homeless people sleep on the sidewalk but get kicked out of their cars? The number of partnered, married and open relationship guys on Grindr and Scruff is a sad statement about "dating" apps. And couplehood, btw.